Chase Carlson: Bodybuilder, gay adult video performer, Power Ranger, but no movie or tv roles. Who's complaining?

 

This picture appeared on the Male Celebrity Tumblr: Chase Carlson holding a rather light dumbbell.  Never heard of him, but it was a  celebrity site, which means actor or singer, and I doubt that he's a singer. 

He has 269,000 followers on his Instagram. He says that he wants to become a Power Ranger, but he doesn't appear on the cast list of any Power Rangers tv show.  

In fact, Chase's only credit listed on the IMDB is in Killian Knox show (2022-23), which appears to be gay adult entertainment.  Max Lorde (left), Troy Daniels, and Gunnar Stone also appear.

What else do we know about Chase?

He's won three super-heavyweight titles.

He lives in San Diego.

He is a spokesperson for Meat athletic wear and Mr., a HIV prevention pill.

According to his Facebook page, he grew up in Oskaloosa, Iowa, and graduated from high school in 2009.

A Chase Carlson registered with Mayhem Modeling in 2011, stating that he was interested in acting, stuntwork, runway modeling, fitness modeling, hair/makeup, lifestyle, and hosting.  

Probably not: he gives his height at 6'1", and our Chase is 6'4".

Weight 165, and  our Chase is 331.

Shoe size 10", and our Chase is.... 

More after the break

"Going Dutch": Military sitcom with an Old Soldier, a gay tease, and a muscular private (sigh). With bonus private's privates

 

In the last few days, I've started a dozen movies and tv shows that seemed promising -- guys gazing at each other on the icon, a trailer with buddy-bonding -- only to start them, and the focus character is kissing a woman by Minute 1.  The constant gay teasing is getting annoying.  Why tailor your project to attract viewers who are going to turn it off in 20 seconds?  

I'm so frustrated that I'm going to review something at random, the first "new!" title that appears on Hulu, Going Dutch: "After an epically unfiltered rant, an arrogant, loudmouth U.S. Army Colonel is reassigned to the Netherlands, where he is punished with a command position at the least important army base in the world. 

An army comedy?  Yuck!  But here goes, Episode 1.1:

Scene 1: USAG Baumholder Command Center.  I don't know what USAG means. Google says a gymnastics association, but that can't be right.   

Two army guys walk down the hall, the Old Guy (Dennis Leary, left) giving the Swishy Guy notes on how to introduce him: "Mention the Rangers, give America an erection."  Google says that the Rangers are an ice hockey team.

Swishy Guy: "I'll mention your Medal of Honor and your tours of Iraq and Afghanistan, and end up with your daughters, so you'll come off as a family man, and everyone will love you."

Old one: "No, don't mention them. I don't want to be beloved. I need to be tough, this close to Russia!"  Dude, you're in the Netherlands.  Russia is five countries and 2500 km away.

Swishy one: "We shouldn't mention how eager you are to start World War III." 

Scene 2: They meet with the Commander, General Davidson, who immediately asks about his daughters. "I hear you're a grandfather now."  Sorry, dude, he wants a family man.

Old Guy doesn't know what he means.  Oh, the baby?  "That's not a human being yet, more of a blob." Maybe stick with starting World War III.

Uh-oh, Old Guy was told that he was going to be the Commander.  Change of plans: he was caught on tape calling General Davidson a bleep, so he's in charge of  USAG Stroopsdorf, a supply center: "The least important army base in the world." 

Scene 3:  They walk through the Stroopsdorf Base: a miniature golf course, an outdoor fitness center. Old Guy is outraged at a "fat hippie on a bike."  Where's the discipline?   He vows to turn "this dump" into a proper combat base. 

Next, a tour of the fromagerie, the bowling alley, and the laundry, the three things Stroopsdorf is known for.

Plus a teen center with a sign "Reading is radical."  There are no teens on the base, so civilians from town use it for pool and video games. Old Guy tries to eject  "a small time gigolo" and a very muscular Private. 

Left: Small Time Gigolo is played by Icelandic actor Arnmundur Ernst Björnsson

Scene 4: The Interim Commander, a blond woman, addresses the troops: they have new headphones to use on the treadmills in the gym. No one mentioned Old Guy's wife. She must be dead, so he and Interim Commander can start a  "will they or won't they" romance.

Nope, she is his estranged daughter!  The Commander didn't mention that little detail.

She cut off all contact with him two years ago, but he didn't notice, because he "was busy saving America."  But working together will be an even worse punishment thatn being assigned to a "Dutch Club Med.

Scene 5: Swishy Guy flirts with Muscular Private as he plays foosball.  Wouldn't you?  Asked "What does your X/O mean?", he responds "I'm the Commander of Hugs and Kisses." Smooth move, dude.  But he impresses Muscular by winning the foosball game, then rushes to the Commanders to note that everyone can hear them arguing.

Muscular Private is played by Dempsey Bryk, who has rather an androgynous presence, but plays a lot of muscular guys (top photo).

Swishy Guy is played by Danny Pudi, who is heterosexual, but played a gay-subtext character on Community.  It's probably the same here: swishy as a gay tease, but soon to be outed as straight.

Interin Commander notes that they are marching in the Tulip Festival tomorrow, the first time they have been invited, so their presence is "crucial to diplomatic relations."  

More after the break

Noah Galvin: 7 gay characters, a husband, a Pride cake, lots of dick pics, and guys still think he's straight?

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The Lake Episode 1.4: Sleazy mayorJerry O'Connell wants a three-way with Justin and his date. What's a gay guy to do?

 

I already reviewed the first episode of The Lake, a comedy about a gay guy who returns to the Lake where he spent summers during his childhood, with plots about bonding with the teenage daughter he never met and trying to save his grandfather's beloved cabin.  I want to review Episode 4 because: it features a gay three-way with 1990s heartthrob Jerry O'Connell

Scene 1: Everyone is cheering at the junior lifeguard trials. Justin (Jordan Gavaris, left) and his Daughter watch from a distance and make fun of them.  But they're only being slightly sarcastic today, because they have won a victory: the board voted against the Evil Maisy's scheme to renovate (that is, tear down) the cottage Justin visited in as a child -- he never actually lived there, but he is desperate to keep it the way it was, a sort of anchor to his past.  Most of the plot arcs involve Jason trying to keep the cottage out of Evil Maisy's clutches.  

Speak of the Devil: Evil Maisy drops by to introduce Jason to Gil the Thrill (Jerry O'Connell), who  is running for Mayor.  Gloating, Evil Maisy notes that the Mayor can re-classify the cottage as a farmhouse, which doesn't need Board approval to be...torn down!  

To make matter's worse, he's hot for Jason!  Dude, maybe you could convince him to not-reclassify the cottage by getting on your knees? No, not to beg.

Scene 2: By the way, Daughter's Crush (Jared Scott), who also happens to be Evil Maisy's son, won the lifeguard contest.  The first Chinese-Canadian Junior Lifeguard in Lake history!  He gets his sash and the keys to the legendary Boathouse while Mom, Dad, and his brother Opal (Declan Whaley) watch.  No, Opal is not trans, or nonbinary.  He's a femme gay boy.  

After the boys leave to hang out with Justin's Daughter, Evil Maisy and her Semi-Evil Husband (Terry Chen, left) discuss their evil scheme to get the cabin re-classified.  "Remember, Dear, this is Justin's fault.  He sabotaged my previous play to destroy his childhood memories, mwah-ha-ha, so, so stay frosty."

Scene 3: Justin is going through withdrawal from junk food due to Daughter's health consciousness, so he runs into the Tuck Shop, sneaks behind the counter, and grabs some chips. Manager Riley (Travis Nelson, below) appears. Beep! Gil the Thrill (mayoral candidate Jerry O'Connell) is contacing them both on Grindr.  Nice chest, and he's into three-ways, but he's in cahoots with Evil Maisy!  

Scene 4: Cut to Daughter and her Crush discussing the evil re-classification scheme.  Even though he's Evil Maisy's son, Crush wants to keep the cabin, for a reason too complicated (and gross) to explain. 

After Crush leaves, Scandinavian Hippie Ulrika comes in with a fish to be tested for herpes.  A big deal --if it tests positive, they have to close down the lake for weeks-- no boating, swimming, waterskiing, or construction.  Hmm -- Daughter has a idea.

Scene 5: Justin talks to Jayne, apparently his only Ally in the cabin plot.  She is upset because Daugher's Crush won Junior Lifeguard instead of her own daughters. "Grr...Evil Maisy and her family ruin every.  The next time I see hre, I'm going to tell her...."  Whoops, at that moment her ally Gil the Thrill appears. "...how excited I am about her cook-out tonight.  I'm bringing crab cakes."

When she leaves, Gil gets down to business: he wants to hook up with Justin. "No way -- you're on Evil Maisy's team, trying to destroy my childhood memories!"  

"But I might change my mind on the reclassification if you'll have sex with me."nees. Hey, that's sexual coercion! I know, I thought of it first. 

:"Thanks, but I have a date with Riley tonight." "I like three-ways. Bring him along, and it's a done deal.  I'll refuse to reclassify and stick it to Evil Maisy after I stick it to you."

More sticking after the break

"Go Ahead, Brother": Organized crime, shirtless hunks, a lot about fiduciary investments, and Michel Filipiak. With bonus Polish d*cks

  

I was interested in Michal Filipiak, the Fat Thug in The Hooligan, so I checked his projects available in the U.S., and found Go Ahead, Brother (2024), a "thriller" tv series which as an added bonus has some very muscular guys.

Scene 1: Night. Soldiers with guns drawn approach a middle-class home. They enter and find the drug lab.  

Cut to Oskar (Piotr Witkowski, left) trying to explain to his superior what happened that night.  He was supposed to be guarding Sokol, but he let his guard down, and his partner died.  

"There was a high-pitched hum...the room was spinning...I blacked out."

The superior officer doesn't believe him: "You ran away, you cowardly little p*ssy!"

This angers Oskar. who attacks his superior officer and almost kills him, before other soldiers rush in to pull him away.  His military career is over.

Scene 2: Oskar a at home, smoking a cigarette and being morose, when his Dad comes in.  He asks how much Dad lost (at gambling) tonight, but actually he won some.  It doesn't matter: he lost his job, so he can't support Dad's habit anymore, or pay off the creditors: "You're a cancer.  You've ruined my life."  I'd say attacking your superior officer did that.

"What should I do, then?  Kill myself?"

Scene 3: Cut to Oskar's room, with close-ups of a drawing of Oskar and Daddy, his military friends, and a lot of weapon parts.  Oskar gets up, starts to exercise, but remembers his dead friend and stops. 

He goes downstairs, but Dad isn't around, and his cell phone is broken!  He rushes down to the garage, where 

Dad is sitting in the running car, trying to die of carbon  monoxide poisoning.  Oskar rips off his shirt, rushes him outside, and performs CPR while screaming. 

The police arrive, along with Marta, a middle-aged blond woman with a man's haircut.  "This time he was serious," she says as she hugs another guy Sister?  Mother? Ex-Wife? 

More after the break

"The Hooligan": N*de musclemen, a Fat Thug, and some gay vibes in the life of a hooligan drug runner in Poland

 

The Hooligan popped up on my Netflix feed this morning, with a cute, stern-looking guy staring at the camera.

Football hooligans are fans who support their team in excessive, violent ways. Whether they win or lose, they storm through the town, celebrating by overturning cars, breaking shop windows, setting fires, and assaulting bystanders.  

Sounds violent, but at least there will be some musclemen, and...maybe....possibly...one of the hooligans will be gay.

Left: When I googled "muscular football hooligan," this popped up. 

Scene 1: The Hooligan walking in slow motion down a dark street, with lights flashing as if he's being photographed by papparazi.  His left hand is gone, and his arm is in a leather cast.

Cut to the Hooligan, Kuba, and his mum, dad, and little brother drinking beer in a family restaurant.  Kuba is 17, and still has both hands.    

Wait -- this tv series is from Poland!  Not going to have any gay....

The IMDB doesn't say which actor is playing which character, but I think Kuba is played by Grzegorz Palkowski, who starred in a gay-themed Polish movie, Sucker's Death (2024).

"Gay-free zone" Poland has gay movies?

 

Dad is played by Wojciech Zelinski.

 Fat Thug complains to the Other Thug is too close to him, brushing against him (ugh!  contact with another dude -- disgusting!), and the Other Thug counters that his mother is not very good in bed. After demonstrating that they're homophobic, they stand back while their Boss approaches Dad and asks when he got out of prison. 

Back story: Dad used to be a famous soccer player, but then he went to prison for six or seventeen years.

They discuss the game tonight.  Third Guy thinks that Kuba has potential, and invites him to the gym to work on his chest.  Dad disagrees: they should work on his arms.  Wait -- do they want him to train to be a player, or a fan? .

When Mom goes up to pay the check, Boss approaches.  Apparently they were lovers 17 years ago, while Dad was in prison, and Kuba is his biological son, but they can't tell anyone.

Scene 2:  RKS Gladius Stadium, a match between the Mazovia team and the good guys. A huge crowd of hooligans tryiing to get into the game, being rowdy as security checks them for guns. Fat Thug says "Don't grope me too much, ok dude?  I'm not into you."  Ok, he's protesting too much.  Dude is gay and closeted.

The game begins.  The fans of the two teams are kept strictly separate, under heavy guard, so they don't attack each other, but some musclemen jump over the barracades and push through the police cordon!  Dad tells Kubi that they have to leave to avoid being clobbered.  On the way out, they see some fans beating other fans to death.

More after the break

David Faustino: Bud on "Married with Children" is star-ving, humiliated, butt-nekkid, and a gay ally

 

Everybody in West Hollywood watched Married..with Children (1987-1997) for its savage skewering of the heterosexist trajectory of job, house, wife, kids.  Al Bundy (Ed O'Neill, later patriarch Jay of Modern Family) is working at a soul-destroying minimum-wage job and, although he likes women in general, hates having s*x with Peg (Katie Sagal, later Leela on Futurama), a housewife who never cooks or cleans (although the house is always spotless).  His daughter Kelly (Christina Applegate) is constantly lambasted for being a "slut," and his son Bud (David Faustino), for being a "virgin."

Gay people only appeared in one or two episodes, always with a "har-har, they're gay!  Isn't that ridiculous!" comedic edge.  

But at least they weren't sleazoid serial killers.

When David began to bulk up, the writers obliged by making him extremely attractive, but still unable to acquire girls due to his abrasive personality.

After Married, David played a gay character in Get Your Stuff (2000), about a gay couple wanting to adopt a baby as a fashion accessory, and instead getting preteen brothers.  According to the trailer, there are a lot of jokes about the dads accidentally getting n*ked and the boys trying to get with a hot older woman.

In Killer Bud (2001): two down-and-out buds (David, Corin Nemec) try to burglarize a convenience store.  My first Faustino profile said that he played a gay character, but I can't see it in the synopsis.

Inn Ten Attitudes (2001), he played "himself," not gay but on the gay dating circuit (for a sleazy reason).

In 2008 he was cast as the lead in The Gay Robot, a pilot for a tv series about...um, a gay robot.  The project was never filmed, but the script might have been tweaked into the movie Robodoc (2009)

David hasn't played any specifically-identified gay characters since, but he often introduces gay subtexts deliberately into his work.

A lot of his movies feature stoner buddies, often David and Corin Nemec: Pucked, High Hopes, Puff Puff Pass, The Hustle, Not another B Movie.

In his web series Star-Ving (2009), he plays"himself" as a has-been, starving actor whose only source of income is a sleazy video shop.  There are cameos from various actors with a sleazy reputation, including Seth Green, Coolio, Ron Jeremy, and Kato Kaelin. 

There is a again a deliberate gay subtext in his relationship with Nemec, and a lot of backside shots, mostly an attempt to humiliate David or demonstrate how "ugly" he is. 

Here he wakes up after a night of debauchery with Ron Jeremy and some ladies.

More after the break