'Chad Powers": A-hole footballer disguised as a college student, with a gay roommate and lots of bare chests. And other bare stuff.

I have no interest in -- or knowledge of -- football, but when the new Hulu series Chad Powers is advertised by two hunks gazing at each other, ready to fight or kiss, what choice do I have?  

Wait -- the two hunks are both Glen Powell, who you recall from Scream Queens and Top Gun: Maverick.  He's playing Russ Holliday, a famous college football player who was cancelled after an altercation with a kid in a wheelchair (and various other a-hole acts).  He schemes to get back into the game by creating a new identity, Chad Powers, and playing for the  struggling Catfish football team at South Georgia College (like, he's catfishing them, har har).  Presumably he'll take classes, too.   

Left: Glenn's butt.

In Episode 1.1, he steals a lot of supplies from his Oscar-winning makeup artist Dad to create the character, goes to the campus, and has a meet-cute with team mascot Danny (Frankie Rodriguez), a fashion-and-pop culture junkie who offers to help him with the deception.  "Your new identity needs to be a modest, likeable guy.  Just play the opposite of yourself."  Danny is also a makeup artist. Dude is obviously gay.  

I'm reviewing Episode 1.2, where Russ tries to maintain his new identity at a party at the coach's lake house -- shirtless hunks are promised.

Scene 1:  Russ and Danny are behind the building, near the dumpsters.  Russ roils at his prosthetic cheeks, but Danny insists: "You have to become Chad Powers. But don't talk much."  Dylan (Jordan Mendoza) arrives with his new identification materials and transcripts, "but I couldn't find him a home address."  No problem, he can stay with Danny.  Tell me more. 

Gross -- there's a bug burrowing into his prosthetic cheek!

Frankie Rodriguez is gay in real life, and has played gay characters in High School Musical: the Series, Modern Family, and Will and Grace.  I'm sure that Danny is gay, too, but they may not give us more than a few hints.

Scene 2:  Football practice.  Subplot involves the fussy Coach (Steve Zahn) and his assistant, secretly his daughter (doubtless also Russ's Love Interest). 

Coach summons Russ/Chad to note a problem with his transcripts: he was homeschooled in West Virginia, in a wilderness surrounded by wolves (nope, no wolves east of Minnesota).  So how did he manage to play high school football?

"Oh, I played...um...with the wolves."

Um...ok.  The Coach needs a winning season, or he'll be fired, so he's willing to suspend his disbelief.

Next Gerry (Colton Ryan), from the scout team and backup, introduces himself.  So far, we have five named male characters.  I'm getting a testosterone high. Who cares what a "scout team" and "backup" are?

80% of the photos Colton Ryan's Instagram show him hugging, kissing, and frolicking with a lady, and the other 20% show her alone, dressed as a man, showing her legs, smooching at the camera.  I'm guessing that he's straight. 

Wait, here's one where he's by himself.

Back to Chad Powers: Gerry teaches Russ/Chad his secret handshake, "a p*ssy symbol, because I get a lot of it."  I know -- I've seen the first 300 pictures on your Instagram. 

Gerry may want to be friends, but the other players ridicule Russ/Chad, especially Bully Nishan (Xavier Mills).

They start the practice.  Russ/Chad screws up and is demoted to backup: "Hey, Flowers for Algernon, this is where you grab this clipboard." Literary reference, har har.

Football research: There are two quarterbacks on each team. The Starting Quarterback is chosen for his ability to draw photo-ops, fawning articles, and hefty donations from boosters.  The Backup does the grunt work while the other players call him names.  But if the Starting Quarterback is injured or traded to another team, won't the Backup take over, and the players who thought he was worthless will have to do what he says? 

On the sidelines, Russ/Chad asks his Love Interest why Coach demoted him to Backup.  "The Starting QB hasn't been decided yet," she assures him.  "Coach wants you and Gerry to compete for the role."  

More after the break.  Caution: Explicit.

Searching for gay-subtext buddy-bonds on "The Really Loud House." With gay Dads and a heck of a lot of butts

Lately I've been nostalgic for one of those old-fashioned gay-subtext buddy couples, not interested in girls, invested only in each other, that we used to see everywhere: Jonny and Hadji, Terry and Raji, Alix and Enak, Ricky and Alfonso on Silver Spoons, Larry and Kennard in Darkover.   I even bought a new book, The Town with the Butterfly Problem, because PJ and his best friend Grant are traveling through the fantasy world together, and no heterosexual romances are mentioned in the plot synopsis -- but in the very first paragraph, he's trying to impress a cute girl. Ugh! Right into the trash!

Paramount Plus recommended The Really Loud House, a live-action sequel to The Loud House (2016-2025).  You know, the one with a nuclear family consisting of mom, dad, 3,000 girls and one boy.  

The live action version centers on the boy, Lincoln Loud  (Wolfgang Schaeffer), having adventures with his best friend, Clyde McBride (Jahzir Bruno).  No doubt a classic gay-subtext buddy couple!

The original had some LGBT representation.  Clyde has two dads; one of the girls expresses a "blink and you'll miss it" interest in a girl; another has a gay friend, Miguel (queer actor Tonatiuh Elizarraraz), who appears in four episodes but only alludes to being gay once, when he gets a boyfriend (Vladimir Versailles) in another "blink and you'll miss it" moment.

So maybe Lincoln and Clyde will have more than a gay-subtext buddy-bond.  Maybe they'll be boyfriends!  

I'm reviewing episode 1.6, "School Dance," to see if the boys go together.  Or if there are any same-sex couples dancing.  Or both.

Scene 1: The kids are making decorations for the Big Dance at their middle school, the Kangaroo Hop, while journalist Liam (Gavin Maddox Bergman) films interviews with them.  

Gavin Maddox Bergman played Oliver Twist in Spirited (2022), young Ben in Salem's Lot (2023), and Cal Starr in Americana (2024).  I'm getting a gay vibe from him, but the character of Liam is heterosexual.

First interview: Rusty Spokes (Nolan Maddox) and his girlfriend Charlie (named after a boy to provide a gay tease for those of us reading episode synopses).  They discuss how much they love each other.  "My favorite color is your eyes..." Rusty exclaims.  Holy sh*t, these people are twelve years old. Were they, like, born horny? 

Nolan Maddox (Rusty Spokes) is now 18, but this is not his butt. 

Strikingly femme Lincoln watches mournfully.  Best buddy Clyde consoles him over Rusty dating Charlie.  Wait -- you're into Charlie, femme boy?  Did you not notice that she's a girl?.

When it's Lincoln's turn to be interviewed, he notes that he was going bring "just friend" Stella (figures you have a lot of girl "just friends").  But she's at a science fair, so it will be solo.  

And Clyde will be going with dad's chiropracter's daughter.

Scene 2: Interview with Best Buddy Clyde's dads.  They are concerned that their son has not yet found his First Love.  He's in middle school, much later than most kids.  They are so desperate for him to click with "that someone special" that they arrranged for Clyde's date with the chiropracter's daughter.  So he hasn't expressed any heterosexual interest, yet the two gay guys never consider for a minute that he might be gay.  That's awfully heteronormative of them.

Ray Ford (Dad Harold), seen here at his godson's graduation, doesn't mention kids of his own, but half of his Instagram photos show him cheek-to-cheek with various ladies, so I'm guessing straight in real life.

Stephen Guarino (Dad Howard) kisses a boy in Eastsiders, and makes out with a dude while naked in Bearcity, so I'm going to guess that he's gay in real life.  Left: his butt.

Yes, I know that having two dads as a focus of the episode rather than just hanging around is a step forward. On Ducktales (2020), they just stood on stage, not speaking, for a moment at their daughter's award ceremony.  But they're heteronormative bias is still annoying.

I'm skipping over a plot about baseball or something.

Scene 3: The Dads were looking forward to taking the pre-dance photos at their house, memorializing Clyde's move into his heterosexual destiny forever.  I feel your pain, Clyde: my parents still have a photo of me and the girl I brought to the Harvest Dance about a year before I figured it out -- five boyfriends and a gay marriage later, it's still on the dresser in their bedroom!  

Uh-oh, Best Buddy Clyde calls: the pre-dance photos will be taken at the Loud House, to take advantage of the appetizers provided by Femme Lincoln's dad.   "No problem, have fun," the Dads say as their hearts are crushed.

Now they become irate:  "The Louds have burglared our milestone -- the most important moment of our child's life."  Most important moment?  Really?  Why are you so anxious for your son to be heterosexual?  What's wrong with gay people, gay dudes? 

More butts after the break

Denny Miller: Gilligan's Island, Tarzan, Quark, frontal nudity, and moments of gay promise

 

Picture it: a blustery October day sometime in the 7th or 8th grade. I am sitting in the living room after school with my brother and sister, drinking hot chocolate and watching a rerun of Gilligan's Island (1964-67), the sitcom about "seven stranded castaways" on a tropical island.  Visitors from the outside world drop by in almost every episode, and promise to help, but something always goes wrong.  This time, in the episode "Big Man on Little Stick" (February 20, 1965), the visitor is Duke Williams, a blond muscleman in bulging cut-off jeans -- he was caught in a tsunami and surfed the 250 miles from Hawaii (just go with it).  

I am overwhelmed by joy.  I have seen shirtless men in comic books, and in Tarzan movies, but never on tv, and Duke Williams is beautiful!  I can't take my eyes off him.

It gets better: Duke could surf back to Hawaii and send help, but he doesn't want to, because he likes the girls, Ginger and Mary Anne.  So the castaways have to convince him that they already have boyfriends.  The Professor has no trouble kissing Ginger, but Gilligan doesn't like girls; Mary Anne has to grab him by the ears to force a kiss.    

(Spoiler alert: when he gets back to Hawaii, Duke hits his head on a rock and forgets about the castaways, so they're still stranded.)

Wait -- my parents, teacher, Sunday school teacher, everyone tells me again and again that someday soon, I will "discover" girls, drop my same-sex pals and pictures of musclemen instantly and without hesitation, and devote the rest of my life to the pursuit of feminine curves and smiles.  It happens to every boy.  There is no escape. Yet  Gilligan -- played by Bob Denver, a thirty year old man -- has escaped. 

Duke Williams, played by Denny Miller, becomes an icon of hope.

I don't remember seeing Denny Miller in anything else, but I probably did.  He has a very full biography on the IMDB: Born in Bloomington, Indiana in 1934 as Scott Miller, grew up in Silver Spring, Maryland and Baldwin, New York, and Los Angeles.  He received a full scholarship to play basketball for UCLA.  He was discovered by a talent scout during his senior year (1956), and cast in Some Came Running (1958) with Dean Martin.

Next came a modern, up-to-date beach boy Tarzan the Ape Man (1959). It was apparently a poor knockoff that he filmed in eight weeks, with most of the jungle scenes grabbed from Johnny Weissmuller movies.  Still, he bragged that he was the sixth in the grand tradition of movie Tarzans.

Including the silent era, it's Elmo Lincoln (1918), Gene Pollar ( 1920), Dempsey Tablar (1920), James Pierce (1927), Frank Merrill (1928-29), Johnny Weissmuller (1932-1948), Lex Barker (1949-1953), and Gordon Scott (1955-1960), so Denny was #9.

At some point he changed his name to Denny Miller, and got a string of guest spots, mostly in tv Westerns:  Overland Trail, Have Gun -- Will Travel, Riverboat, Laramie, The Rifleman. He may have also made ends meet with physique photography in the burgeoning early 1960s gay subculture.

More after the break. Caution: Explicit.

Matthew Underwood: The "Zoey 101" It-Boy Logan plays himself again and again...and again, posts dick pics. With bonus Noah Beck

 

The internet was all agog over pictures of Matthew Underwood's penis.  I wasn't impressed.  First, the guy doens't even show his face.  Second, he rubs me the wrong way.  I can't quite remember how.

Oh, yeah.  It's that annoying smugness.  It's one thing to be heterosexual -- lots of guys are.  It's another to brag about it.  "I'm so entirely heterosexual, I'm the most heterosexual of all heterosexuals, I can heterosexualize anywhere, anytime.  Every girl wants to be with me, and every guy wants to be me."

It's not just his character: this photo came directly from Matt's Instagram, posted in 2025.

Born in "The Sunshsine State of Florida" in 1990, Matt began acting at the age of eight, and appeared on screen in some guest spots before hitting paydirt in Zoey 101 (2005-08).

Zoey (Jamie Lynn Spears) and her brother Dustin (Paul Butcher) are students at the prestigious Pacific Coast Academy, filmed on location in Malibu instead of on a sound stage.  Her coterie includes:

1. Logan (Matthew Underwood),  the fabulously wealthy son of a famous actor, an it-boy who is basking in the absurdly exaggerated longing of every girl who sees him.  Eventually he settles down with the nerd Quinn (see, looks aren't everything).

2. Chase (Sean Flynn, left), in love with Zoey but trapped in the "friend zone."  Eventually, she realizes that she is in love with him, but then she leaves him again.

2. Michael (Christopher Massey, right), mostly in charge of advising Chase to admit his feelings, although he eventually gets a girlfriend of his own.

Matt reveals that just after Zoey, when he was 19, he was sexually harassed and then assaulted by his agent. The trauma prompted him to move away from Los Angeles and retire from acting.

He returned in 2017 to direct and star in two tv pilots with Sean Flynn, playing themselves: The Magic Studio, about kids who find magic rings, and The Golden Stars, about missing award statues. 

And some shorts: Time Hoppers (2018), Matt and Sebastian Cabanas in silly costumes.

The Alien (2019): Matt (playing himself) and some girls meet a classic grey.

The Unicorn Sisters (2019): Matt helps some grieving girls write poetry. 

Kind of full of yourself, aren't you, Matt?

He appears with some girls in Remi (2021) and with the entire Zoey gang in the Jamie Spears music video Follow Me (2020).

Noah Beck plays an alternative Logan.  No, I don't think that the penis is real.

Matt returned to the Zoey universe in Zoey 102 (2023): A struggling 32 year old film producer, Zoey is asked to be maid of honor at Quinn and Logan's wedding.  It took them 14 years to get married?  She also resolves her feelings for Chase.  After 14 years, he's moved on, girlfriend.

Matt's social media is mostly generic, landscapes, weird jokes, boating, pictures taken with the Zoey gang. He is currently single, his last heterosexual relationship (that he told fans about) in 2015. 

Ready for the cock pics?  #1: Impressive size, but the physique is nondescript, and dude doesn't even show his face.

#2: Full arousal.  This must be from a different session, since he's wearing pants.

3. I censored a silly emoji.

Not bad, but I'd rather see Noah Beck's abs.

See also:  Shane Harper: the "Good Luck Charlie" and "God's Not Dead" guy shows his dick surprisingly often

Nathan Kress, Freddie from ICarly, grown up. Is he still homophobic? Is he still shy about showing his dick?

"Malibu Rescue": Ricardo Hurtado hits the beach for a retro 1980s nerd-jock battle, with bonus lifeguard photos

Michael Yerger: Bragging incessantly about being heterosexual while doing gay porn.

I was looking for beefcake photos of Joel Rush, who played Sky, the God Squad muscleman who shoves his dock through the glory hole at Keefe in Righteous Gemstones Episode 2.6, and I sumbled upon lookalike Michael Yerger, center:born in 1998 in Knoxville, appeared on the reality shows Survivor and Survivor: Ghost Island  in 2018, now a real estate broker and model,  represented by DT Model Management.  

He's bulked up a bit since 2018.

The first photos I saw of him were nudes, for gay sites like MMScene and Instinct. 

 First a rather tame semi-dick shot.

And a side-view, covering his cock.

More after the break

The New Doctor Who, Season 2: The gay doctor fights robots and cartoon characters, and gets a girlfriend. With bonus Groff and Projectionist penises

The latest Doctor Who, that  time-and-space faring adventurer from the planet Gallifrey (played by Ncuti Gatwa), is the first to be black, and although there have been bisexual hints in the past, the first to be gay.  In Episode 1.6, he even gets a boyfriend, an interdimensional bounty hunter named Rogue (Jonathhan Groff, left).

At least, he was gay in the first season. 

I watched the first two episodes of Season 2, and I am sorry to report that the gay guy has turned straight.

In Episode 2.1, "The Robot Revolution," the teenage Belinda Chandra receives a gift from her sort-of boyfriend: a star.  It seems that you can "buy" a star and get a certificate stating that it's yours.  They break up soon after.  

17 years pass, and one night gigantic robots arrive to force Belinda to become the queen of "her" planet.  Apparently the certificate was a binding contract.

Left: Robert Strange plays the head robot.

To complicate things, the robots have taken control of the world.  Humans are forced into smiling servitude.  

The Doctor, stranded on the planet for the last six months, is starting a revolt with a squad of hunky humans, including Caleb Hughes and Max Parker, left.  

Soon into the revolt, the Doctor's girlfriend is killed.  Grieving, he explains that when he first arrived on the planet, she took him in and explained the situation.  "She took care of me.  She was wonderful."   The other freedom fighters tell him to buck up, they have a world to save.

The robots announce that Belinda is to marry the great AI Generator, who turns out to be the ex-boyfriend (Jonny Green, left), merged with a machine.  Belinda dumped him due to his controlling behavior, and this is the only way he could think of to get back together again. Maybe send her flowers?

So this was all about heterosexual romance?  They had an episode with an astronaut and his husband.  Two of the Doctor's companions have been lesbians.  How the mighty have fallen.

The Doctor and Belinda save the day.  Belinda asks to be taken home, but his space-and-time ship, the TARDIS, refuses to go to the day she left.  Maybe the next day?

In Episode 1.2, "Lux," some people are watching a movie in 1952 Miami.  Before the main feature, there's a cartoon featuring Mr. Ring-a-Ding, whose catchphrase is "Don't make me laugh!"  While he is busily romancing Sally Sunshine (yes, another hetero-romance), he jumps off the screen to scream at the audience.

Enter the Doctor and Belinda, taking a detour on the way home.  They notice that the theater door is chained, as if there's a wild beast inside.  

More after the break

Chi Lewis-Parry: The "28 Years Later" zombie, kickboxer, gladiator, and Gelf has gay fans and a lot of inches.

 Now that 28 Years Later is streaming, we can get better screen shots of Samson, an Alpha: a bigger, stronger, more sentient, and well-nigh indestructable zombie, who strides across the ruins of Scotland with his semi-sentient pack,  tearing off survivors' heads, chasing Jamie and his son Spike (Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Alfie Williams) and being studied by Dr. Kelson (Ralph Fiennes). 

Did you notice the homoerotic energy in the interactions between Samson and Dr. Kelson? A definite appreciation of the muscleman beneath the zombie.  Under other circumstances, they might have become boyfriends.

Samson caused a lot of pearl-clutching among skittish heterosexuals because he was naked, with his gigantic Samson penis swinging around. Um...he pulls people's heads right out of their bodies, and you're traumatized by a penis?

The gays loved it, of course.  Even Erik (Edvin Ryding) seems impressed.  Under other circumstances, he would be giving Samson head (so to speak). 

 

Left: Edvin getting head as Prince Wilhelm in Young Royals (2021-24).

Actor Chi Lewis-Parry notes that he used a prosthetc.  There's a British law that, when there are kids on the set, you can't show your real willie.  Besides, he's "always hugging people," and you can hardly do that "fully in the nip." 

But in real life he's "Six foot eight inches."

Funny, according to the biography on Tapology, Chi is only 6'7", not 6'8"...oh, right.  Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more. 

Chi was born in 1983 in Hitchin, Hertfordshire, and began his career as basketball player before moving on to kickboxing  and MMA (mixed martial arts).  Using the stage name Chopper,  he competed with the United Arab Emirates Warriors before signing on with the American UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship).  Here he fights the Egyptian Hulk, Mahmoud Hassen, for an eight-second knockout.

In 2015, he posted "I am tenacious, I'm unanimous, I'm infamous, I'm superb, dashing, marvelous, gargantuan, heroic, furious, greatness, fearsome, a winner! Well, that's what my mum told me growing up, so it must be true."

More after the break

Nhut Le: Gay activist, potter, model, superhero. With a n*de Thai guy bonus.

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"House of Guinness": Heirs to a beer empire in 1868 Ireland. With a gay brother, shirtless hunks, Irish hiphop, and a heck of a lot of dicks

 

I've been having trouble recently, beginning reviews of movies and tv shows and then not liking them, or when I like them, there's no gay representation or nude photos, so I can't review them here. So this time I cheated by checking in advance: there's a gay character in House of Guinness, and lots of the actors have appeared nude.  Here's a dick now.

Episode 1 Prologue: Closeup of the beer-making process, with the ingredients, water, hops, and so on.  A sweaty bare-chested bloke adds the fire.  I like this tv series already.  Then comes family, money, and rebellion.  

Scene 1: St. James Gate, Dublin, 1868:  As As Foreman Rafferty (James Norton, left) walks through the factory, a dude asks if there will be trouble today. Of course, there's always trouble with the Guinness Family.  

Outside, someone throws a beer bottle at the logo, and a gang of Prohibitionists burn an effigy of Benjamin Guinness: "A brewer of sin and debauchery!"  His funeral is today, and they are intent on preventing his procession from making it to the church.

The Temperance Movement was nearly as popular in 19th century Ireland as in the U.S., attributing almost all crime, poverty, disease, and insanity to alcohol consumption.  

Meanwhile, Fenian Leader Patrick (Seamus O'Hara) tells his followers than the Guinness heirs  are weak and divided, so this is a perfect time to free Ireland -- by attacking the funeral procession!  "Grab whatever weapons you can find, but spare the horses -- all horses are Catholic."

England occupied Ireland until 1922, forbidding the use of the Irish language, discriminating against Catholics, and promoting stereotypes that are still common today.  There were lots of revolts, rebellions, and terrorists acts, notably from the Fenian Brotherhood.

In the factory (very impressive set, lots of workers), Foreman Rafferty tells the men to arm themselves.  They have to fight to get the boss's corpse through to the church.

The battle is accompanied by the hiphop song "Get Your Brits Out," by Kneecap. Ordinarily I dislike contemporary music in a historical drama, but not when it's mostly in Irish:

Ach Stalford agus an DUP 

Gach lá, taobh amuigh de mo theach

"Go back to Dublin if you want to rap"

Anois éist, I’m gonna say this once

Yous can all stay just don’t be c*nts

 

Scene 2: Iveagh House, the Guinness family home (built 1736, now the headquarters of the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade).  Femme, decadent Edward (Louis Partridge) complains that his button-down conservative brother Arthur (Anthony Boyle) has been in London so long, he's lost his Irish accent.

The third brother, Benjamin (Finn O'Shea, top photo) is asleep on the couch, still hung over from one of his benders.

They discuss the hypocrisy of everyone pretending to grieve, when the Irish hated him, and the English are happy that he is gone: now they can manipulate the children.  

Sister Anne tells them to shush their bickering; it's time for the funeral, and they have to act like a civilized Christian family: "Decadent Edward, change your shirt. Drunken Benjamin, change into some clothes you haven't slept in. Conservative Arthur, just change." 

Left: Louis Partridge's butt.

Scene 3: More of the battle, while inside the church the minister praises Old Man Guinness, who brought the Catholics and Protestants together, and represented Dublin in Parliament.  The children keep eyeing each other and other people in the congregation, with whom they no doubt have a history.

Scene 4:  In a pub, Fenian leader Patrick congratulates his men on their performance in the battle.  He tells his sister about their next step: they're going to break into the cooperage and burn all of the barrels, so the beer can't be shipped out and the brewery will go under!  

Sister has a better idea: she's been talking to the maids and other staff, and three of the four children have secrets that could destroy them. One of them will be taking the seat in Parliament vacated by their father; they can blackmail him into pushing for Irish independence!

What those secrets are (and an *roused penis) after the break. Caution: Explicit.