Every three or four years since I was around 15, I've picked up Isaac Asimov's Foundation (1951), lured by assurances that it's a magnificent accomplishment, a classic, essential reading, the book that propelled science fiction from Buck Rogers-style space operas to college literature classrooms.
So I start. And it's just so darn bo--rrrr--ing that I give up after 10 or 20 pages. Asimov is obsessed with politics, economics, and business, three of the dullest topics imaginable. And there are no descriptions of anything. Ever.
There's a Foundation tv series on Apple Plus, but from the description it seems to committing an even worse sin: rampant heteronormativity. So I don't think I'll be watching. Let's just look at the hunks instead.
We've seen the premise 100 times before, but I suppose that in 1951, it was brand new: 12,000 years after the beginning of the Galactic Empire, it is in decline. Just like...um...er...the Roman Empire? Asimov is not good at cultural changes, so people 20,000 or so years from now act exactly the way they did in 1951, smoking cigars, wearing neckties, and filling their offices with men only. They don't even have automatic elevators.
There are five or six parts, each with different characters. I've only read the first: A young man named Gael travels from the provinces to the galactic hub planet of Trantor. En route, he explains in detail how the spaceship works, which seems ridiculous. Do you usually spend your flight thinking about how airplanes work?
1. Alfred Enoch as Raych. There are no women in Foundation except for nondescript wives, so in the tv series Gael becomes a woman, to add gender diversity (and heterosexism). She gets a boyfriend, Raych, her boss's son.
In the city, Gael befriends a man named Jalen or something (naturally -- there are only male characters). I'm thinking "Gay subtext!" But Jalen turns out to be a spy of the Galactic Empire, trying to get the dirt on his new boss, Hari Seldom or something.
2. Jared Harris as Hari Seldon.
Hairy has invented the field of psychohistory, which can predict societal change. Asimov obviously doesn't know anything about the social sciences -- societal change is a matter for sociology, not psychology. He has determined that the Galactic Empire is falling apart, leading to 30,000 years of Dark Ages.
3. Lee Pace as Brother Day, one of the three emperor clones. I don't think he appears in the original novels.
Predicting the fall of the Empire doesn't sit well with the Galactic Bigwigs: They think that Hogwarts is trying to bring about the downfall. So after an inquisition and trial, they exile Hungover, Gael, and their workers (plus wives and children) to the planet of Terminus, on the far edge of the galaxy (20,000 years, and they still revere Latin?).
4. Cassion Bilton as Brother Dawn, another of the Emperor Clones. Don't get excited, he's with a girl.
But it turns out that Hinkley has been manipulating the Galactic Big Wigs behind the scenes. He wanted to go to Terminus, but he didn't think that his workers would go unless they were forced. He needs a safe space to work on the vast Encyclopedia Galactica, which will preserve human knowledge and reduce the Dark Ages from 30,000 years to 1,000 years.
Except it's all a trick. A distraction. The narrative switches to many years later, and a man named Salvor Hardin, who I thought was Hari Seldom's great-great grandson, but turns out to be just someone with an equally forgettable four-syllable name. He discovers that the real goal of the Encyclopedists to start a revolt against...well, I don't know who.
5. Daniel MacPherson as Hugo Cranst. In the tv series, Salvor Hardin has become a woman too, so she can fall in love with a Han Solo-type.
By this point, I'm thinking "Life is too short. I could be reading The Hobbit." And I understand that the tv series is nothing like the books, anyway.
6. Brandon B. Bell as Han Pritcher, who falls in love with Gael (after her first boyfriend disintegrates) and works for the Foundation, although his real allegiance is to the Second Foundation. I don't know what that means, either.
More hunks after the break
.jpg)
.jpg)
