Skyler's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 1: Birthdays, biceps, and a Viking Satyr. Plus Asa Butterfield's junk

Skyler Gisondo is not my favorite actor.  Endless gay crumbs with no resolution as Gideon on The Righteous Gemstones, then deliberate queerbaiting as Jimmy Olsen on Superman.  But technically neither were his fault, he's cute, and up to 2025, his social media was overbrimming with gay teases, so let's look at some photos.   

1. 24th birthday, with cat, odd presents, and a bare chest.

2. That's the way I play basketball, too.

3. When gay guys have a party, they find something more interesting to do than play Monopoly.

4. Skyler starred in The Santa Clarita Diet as the boyfriend of the daughter of the zombified Sheila Hammond.  Thomas Novak played their high school principal.

5.Skyler dressed as a Viking Satyr for a competition in Wet Hot American Summer.   If you don't like eating hot peppers, I have another suggestion.

6. A more realistic Viking-Satyr costume for you to consider

More genuine Gisondo after the break. Warning: explicit.

The Top 12 Hunks of "School Spirits," living or not. A surprising number have posted dick pics.

 

School Spirits (2023-) stars Peyton List as Maddie Near, a high school student who suddenly finds herself wandering among the ghosts of other students (and one faculty member) who died at Split River High.  They have more lax rules than the ghosts of Ghosts: they can eat, change clothes, read books, and manipulate objects (although everything resets); but they cannot leave school property, and they cannot communicate with the living.  Except Maddie can.  Her ghost and living friends work together to solve the mystery of her disappearance.  Spoiler alert: She's not really dead.

There's some gay representation, and the beefcake quotient is very high.  Here are the top twelve hunks (with their dicks after the break):

1. Kristian Ventura as Simon, who had an unrequited crush on Maddie, and now can see and talk to her.  He's one of the main suspects in her disappearance.

2. Josh Zuckerman as Mr. Martin, a chemistry teacher who died in a lab explosion in 1968.  He runs an Afterlife Support Group, and gives the students assignments that supposedly will help them move on to the afterlife.  But he has a lot of secrets.

3. Nick Pugliese, top photo and left, as Charley, who died of a peanut allergy in the 1990s, just after a fight with his boyfriend (who is now a teacher at the school, so Maddie asks Simon to arrange an apology). 

4. Miles Elliot as Yuri, who died in the 1970s.  In order to avoid Mr. Martin's activities, he pretended to be cycling (only semi conscious, repeating the same action over and over); but in Season 2 he joins the gang, and starts dating Charley.

5. Zack Calderon (left) as Diego Herrera, the older brother of Maddie's living friend Nicole.

6. Milo Mannheim as Wally Clark, who died at a football game in the 1980s (the stadium is named after him).  He insists that the gang watch only sports movies, and continues to work out, leading one to conclude that ghosts have functioning cardiovascular systems.  In Season 2, Maddie and Wally start dating.

Dick pic after the break.  Caution: Explicit.

Mason Cook: The "Speechless" star turns bohemian-hipster, and shows us his biceps and dick

 

You're probably most familiar with Mason Cook as Ray DiMeo, sarcastic younger brother of focus character JJ (Micah Fowler) on Speechless (2015-18).  JJ has cerebral palsy and is nonverbal, "speechless."

Ray gets a lot of gay subtext plotlines, at least in Season 1.  In Season 2, he becomes annoyingly hetero-horny, and eventually gets a serious girlfriend. 

Ray's sudden movement into hetero-horniness was disturbing not only because the gay teases were overturned, but because of the "discovering girls" rhetoric. Mason is over 18 at the time, but his character is 15.  When I was 15, all I ever heard was "You'll discover girls any moment now, and everything you love will become meaningless. You'll join clubs, take classes, choose your college solely in order to see or meet girls. Your buddies will become mere strategists, helping you find, impress, and win girls. You..."

Sorry for the rant, but I really felt betrayed by Ray DiMeo in the second season.  

So you may wonder why I'm posting a profile on Mason Cook

Not because of his gay or gay-subtext performances.

Born in 2000

Guest star in teencoms like Zeke and Luther

Son of the focus charater in the crime drama Legends

Classmate of the focus character on The Middle

 An "eccentric, devout Christian" who has sex with the focus girl, sending her rushing for a "morning after pill," in Plan B.  This was nominated for a GLAAD award because a major character is trans, but Mason is straight.

Not because of his physique.  

The few shirtless photos on Mason's social media suggest that he doesn't spend a lot of time at the gym.

Although he has developed some biceps recently.

Not because of his handsomeness.  

His clean-cut all-American look was sort of cute, but his recent greasy-hair hipster-bohemian look is off-putting

Not because he is gay in real life.

Mason appears to be more LGBTQ-friendly than his fershugenen Speeechless character. Here he invites his fans to "stand up against bullying in the LGBT community" on Spirit Day. 

But in his social media pages, he's hugging girls a lot, and proudly displaying their cleavage, as if to brag: "I get to touch those!"  He has been photographed on dates with several people identified as "girlfriends."  

So, not extraordinarly handsome or built, not a lot of gay or gay-subtext roles, straight in real life, and his Ray DiMeo was upsetting.  Why am I doing a profile of this guy?

Because I was left "speechless" upon discovering videos of Mason showing fans his "joie de vivre" 

More after the break. Caution: explicit.

Foundation: The top 12 hunks of the tv series based on Isaac Asimov's incredibly boring "classic" science fiction

Every three or four years since I was around 15, I've picked up Isaac Asimov's Foundation (1951), lured by assurances that it's a magnificent accomplishment, a classic, essential reading, the book that propelled science fiction from Buck Rogers-style space operas to college literature classrooms.

So I start.  And it's just so darn bo--rrrr--ing that I give up after 10 or 20 pages.  Asimov is obsessed with politics, economics, and business, three of the dullest topics imaginable.  And there are no descriptions of anything.  Ever.  

There's a Foundation tv series on Apple Plus, but from the description it seems to committing an even worse sin: rampant heteronormativity.  So I don't think I'll be watching.  Let's just look at the hunks instead.

We've seen the premise 100 times before, but I suppose that in 1951, it was brand new:  12,000 years after the beginning of the Galactic Empire, it is in decline.  Just like...um...er...the Roman Empire?   Asimov is not good at cultural changes, so people 20,000 or so years from now act exactly the way they did in 1951, smoking cigars, wearing neckties, and filling their offices with men only.  They don't even have automatic elevators.

There are five or six parts, each with different characters.  I've only read the first:  A  young man named Gael travels from the provinces to the galactic hub planet of Trantor.  En route, he explains in detail how the spaceship works, which seems ridiculous.  Do you usually spend your flight thinking about how airplanes work?

1. Alfred Enoch as Raych. There are no women in Foundation except for nondescript wives, so in the tv series Gael becomes a woman, to add gender diversity (and heterosexism).  She gets a boyfriend, Raych, her boss's son.

In the city, Gael befriends a man named Jalen or something (naturally -- there are only male characters).  I'm thinking  "Gay subtext!"  But Jalen turns out to be a spy of the Galactic Empire, trying to get the dirt on his new boss, Hari Seldom or something.

2. Jared Harris as Hari Seldon.

Hairy has invented the field of psychohistory, which can predict societal change.  Asimov obviously doesn't know anything about the social sciences -- societal change is a matter for sociology, not psychology.  He has determined that the Galactic Empire is falling apart, leading to 30,000 years of Dark Ages. 

3. Lee Pace as Brother Day, one of the three emperor clones.  I don't think he appears in the original novels.

Predicting the fall of the Empire doesn't sit well with the Galactic Bigwigs:  They think that Hogwarts is trying to bring about the downfall.  So after an inquisition and trial,  they exile Hungover, Gael, and their workers (plus wives and children) to the planet of Terminus, on the far edge of the galaxy (20,000 years, and they still revere Latin?).

4. Cassion Bilton as Brother Dawn, another of the Emperor Clones.  Don't get excited, he's with a girl.

But it turns out that Hinkley has been manipulating the Galactic Big Wigs behind the scenes.  He wanted to go to Terminus, but he didn't think that his workers would go unless they were forced.  He needs a safe space to work on the vast Encyclopedia Galactica, which will preserve human knowledge and reduce the Dark Ages from 30,000 years to 1,000 years.  

Except it's all a trick.  A distraction.  The narrative switches to many years later, and a man named Salvor Hardin, who I thought was Hari Seldom's great-great grandson, but turns out to be just someone with an equally forgettable four-syllable name.  He discovers that the real goal of the Encyclopedists to start a revolt against...well, I don't know who.  

5. Daniel MacPherson as Hugo Cranst.  In the tv series, Salvor Hardin has become a woman too, so she can fall in love with a Han Solo-type.

By this point, I'm thinking "Life is too short.  I could be reading The Hobbit."  And I understand that the tv series is nothing like the books, anyway.

6. Brandon B. Bell as Han Pritcher, who falls in love with Gael (after her first boyfriend disintegrates) and works for the Foundation, although his real allegiance is to the Second Foundation.  I don't know what that means, either.

More hunks after the break

12 nude dudes from the Isle of Man. Plus bondage, boggarts, fun runs, and a gay god

 

The Isle of Man, between Ireland and Britain, is  named after Manawyddan, the God of the Sea and one of the queer icons of my childhood.  But Manx word for man is mannin, so there could be some connection to the masculine, too.

12 Max men and their cronnys:

1. The Manx word for penis is cronny, but it sounds silly to non-Celtic ears, so I'm going to use the Welsh word, calar

Like several other Celtic languages, Manx became extinct as a result of English dominance (and discrimination: it was stereotyped as a barbaric, "garbage" tongue).  But it's currently enjoying a revival.   There are prizes for the best Manx essay, schools offer elementary instruction in Manx, and 3-6% of the population uses it for everyday conversations.

2. A Manx speaker.

3. A rather thin Manx twink, but I'm including him because of his tree trunk.

The Isle of Man is known for its archaeological sites: the biggest neolithic tomb in the British Isles, early Christian monasteries, the Viking-era Peel Castle.

And for its paranormal activity: trolls, goblins, boggarts, banshees, and tusk-men roam the downs.  There are mysterious disappearances, time-jumps, alien abductions, haunted castles, and lots of neopagans finding meaning in the paranormal energy.

More after the break

Jake Satow: Saving Christmas, a Christian horse, a nonbinary internet celebrity, and the Baywatch guy

 

I was looking for actors who played nonbinary characters, and the name "Jake Satow" popped up.  Never heard of him, but he's attractive, so I checked the listing on IMDB.

He has 18 acting credits.  The most recent is Saving Christmas Spirit, 2022.  

How many times does that holiday need saving?

Spoiler alert: Christmas Spirit is a store that needs saving.  Jake plays a teenager who gets a girlfriend.

Adeline, 2022, is about a horse that heals people in a small town.  I swear, I'm not making this up.  Presumably a Christian movie, since one of the IMDB reviews says something like "Stop the insanity. The Bible isn't real." 

It stars 1980s hunks John Schneider from The Dukes of Hazzard, bottom photo, and David Chokachi from Baywatch, butt left.

Jake had a busy 2022.  Other roles include Howard Hunt's son in Gaslit,  which has a maddenly misleading title.  You expect the gaslit Victorian era, with hanson cabs clattering down cobblestone streets.  It's about Watergate.

Hockey Trophy Jake in Breathing Happy, about a recovering drug addict celebrating his first year of sobriety on Christmas Day, naturally. Other characters are named the Mysterious Door, the Golden Door, and Salvation Elf.  Another Christian movie, I imagine. 

Christian Holmes at age 14 in The Dropout, about a woman dropping out of college to start a tech company that revolutionalizes the health care industry.  Christian Holmes at age adult is her husband.

This is all terribly heteronormative. 

Before 2022, Jake was starring in a lot of shorts: a clown with marital problems, the morning announcements at a middle school, an alarm clock going off an hour early, dad dying, and Christmas.  They all have about the same cast, so I'm guessing local productions.

His website lists a theatrical production, The Honorary Counsel, performed with the actors in Zoom rooms, plus modeling on runways for Columbus Fashion Week and for Macy's and Homage.  

No indication of nonbinary, trans, or otherwise LGBTQ roles.  Maybe in real life?

Jake has 17,000 followers on Instagram.  His profile says says "Christian"...uh-oh, probably homophobic... SAG/AFTRA....The Dropout, and Saving Christmas Spirit.

More after the break

Robert's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 2: Beefy boyfriend, helicopter penis, and strongman sex

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Adam's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 3: Jizz, penises, bodybuilders, and Duck Tales

Previous: Adam's hot/hung photos, Part 2: Gold's Gym, biceps, ben wa balls, and 69

This is a collection of hot or humorous photos of Adam Devine, star of The Righteous Gemstones, Workaholics, and about everything else.

1. Multitasking by writing new jokes in the shower.

2. The fastest Adam has jizzed with a chick is seven seconds.  

I get it -- you want to finish as soon as possible.  With a guy, you can take your time. 

3. In Magic Camp, Adam plays a failed magician trying to re-ignite his career.  Aldis Hodge plays the father of one of the magic camp campers.

4. Get pumped in Ashland.

5.  Do you notice a pattern here?

6. In Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates, Kumail Nanjiali plays a masseur who performs a naked tantric massage on his female client.

More after the break.  Warning: explicit.

Fifteen glorious Gavins and magnificent muscle Munns from Australia, Ireland, Scotland, Ohio, and Hollywood

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