Kevin from Work: Tony Cavalero tries to steal Noah Reid's boyfriend. With random Colt model dicks

 

Kevin from Work is a ten-episode sitcom that aired on ABC Family in the fall of 2015. It got awful reviews centered on "raunchy jokes delivered by unsavory characters," but it's available for binging on Hulu if you're interested.  I reviewed Episode 1.2 because it starred Tony Cavalero as a creepy gay guy.

The premise: Noah Reid plays Kevin, a nebbish who's been in love with a female coworker for years, but too chicken to say anything.  He thinks he's being transferred to Italy, so he expresses his love in a grand gesture before leaving forever.  Whoops, the transfer falls through.  Now they have to continue working together...awkward!

Scene 1:  Kevin gets a ride to work with his best friend, gym rat Brian (Matt Murray, below).  He wonders about Don (Tony Cavalero), the guy in the back seat who is leering at him and invading his body space.  

Best Friend Brian explains: "When you left me for Italy, I had to look after myself.  You made me turn to the internet to find a friend. You search 'fit man seeking man,' you're going to find some crazy stuff."   

The viewer is expected to interpret "crazy stuff" as "gay men," and sympathize with Brian.  Creepy gay guys responded!  He must have been horrified!  But he just means that some of the guys who answered were not as fit as they claimed to be.  

Creepy Don in the back seat points out that he and Brian are a good match, because he has only 2% body fat. "What's your body fat percentage, Kevin?"  Jealous, Don?

Left: Mike Timber, a Colt model who Google Images thinks is cast member RogerTimber.

Kevin ignores him. He thinks he sees His Crush, whom he sent the awkward grand gesture to, and insists that they park in the back.  We get a montage of their awkward close encounters as he tries to work in the office without running into her.  "I could have lived a happy, fulfilled life if only I hadn't told her that I loved her!"  

Scene 2: When Kevin catches a ride with Best Friend Brian the next day, Creepy Don isn't there. "He's at his mom's. I'm supposed to pick him up in an hour. We're going to the driving range, and then he's going to take me to his orthotics guy (foot doctor)."  Rather a random series of events for Date Night.   

Actually, Brian needs a way out: he isn't interested in Creepy Don anymore, now that Kevin is back: "You're my 100%."  Awww.  Now how do they dump the rebound boyfriend?

Scene 3: Best Friend Brian brings Creepy Don into the office, and asks Kevin to do the break-up: "Explain to him that we are reunited, and his friendship services are no longer required."  That's not what you said in bed last night, Dude. 

More after the break

Does Kit Harington really have a tiny pecker? And what's wrong with that? With examples of tiny peckers.

 

I never heard of Kit Harington before yesterday, when a reader mentioned that he appears in Season 3 of  Industry.  I was going to do a profile, but got sidetracked by Kit's penis.

I don't like the beard.  He looks better clean-shaven.

Apparently Kit is or was the resident hunk on Game of Thrones.  I only watched ten minutes before being turned by the constant naked ladies, but here he's kissing a guy, so he's played a gay character.

But not in Thrones.  Costar Nicolaj Koster-Waldau notes  “a change in the level of female lust in the room when Kit is there, which all the males find annoying and disrespectful."

First, how can he help it if all the women in the world lust after him?  It's not his fault. 

Second, why do all the males in the world find it annoying.  Surely there's at least one or two gay men on Earth, Nicolaj?

You're from Denmark, which has gay marriage,  and you starred in Bent, about gay men in Nazi Germany.  You played a gay character!  You should know that gay men exist, friggin' homophobe!

I'm already angry with Kit, and he didn't even make the homophobic statement.    

Everyone on the internet thinks that he's got a small dick, due to an article that states that Kit Harington is the reason Jon Snow, presumably his character, has a tiny penis.

But actually the writers "got even" with him for being so attractive -- only to women, of course -- and had someone reference his  character's lack of penile hugeness: "What kind of God would have a pecker that small?

In real life, all we have is this heavily censored j/o session. 

And this photo, from Fleshbot, advertising a "gay make out session" between Kit and Chris Zylka.  Except it's Chris Zylka, whom Kit kisses in The Death and Life of John F. Donovan.

More cocks after the break

Industry: 5 butts, 4 cocks, and 3 chests of the top money-makers at a banking CPS somethings in London

 

Industry is being pushed on MAX as the greatest television series of all time; it has a 100% rating on Rotten Tomatoes; and there's at least one gay character.  Should be an obvious must-watch, right?  

Maybe not.  I've tried getting into it twice, and get immensely bored after five minutes.  It's about money.  The inter-office squabbles of guys in suits making money by making money for other guys in suits, and trying to position into positions of higher power so they can make more money by making more money. 

 Shape without form, shade without colour, 

 Paralysed force, gesture without motion

It's not only boring, it's depressing.  You're in friggin' London. Go to the British Museum and see some art.  

Can we skip the money and just look at some naked guys?

1. David Jonsson, top photo, plays Gus Sackey, the main gay character. He majored in humanities before he sold his soul to Mammon.  Apparently he's closeted, not fitting in to the heterosexist money culture.  According to the Wikipedia, he's "assigned to the Investment Banking Division, IBD, and then the CPS desk.  I don't know what that is, either.

2. Will Tudor as Theo Tuck, the other gay character, an Eton graduate consigned to a lowly position as research analyst.

Guys, seriously, the British Museum has the Rosetta Stone.

3. Harry Lawley as Robert, from a working-class Welsh background, so he doesn't fit in with the upper-class Oxcam graduates working the money angle. There also might be some prejudice against the Welsh. He's on the CPS desk.

And it's open till 20:30 on Fridays

4. Ben Lloyd-Hughes as Greg, VP at the CPS desk.  Ok, I looked it up: CPS means Cross Product Sales, where you try to sell your bank customers things they don't need, like Wells Fargo:  "Oh, you want to open a checking account?  How about an auto loan and a credit card?"

How about the Victoria and Albert Museum?

5.Derek Riddell, here getting sexed up in The Book Club, as Clement, the CPS vice manager.

The St. Paul's Cathedral Choir is performing on Friday night.

More money-making cocks after the break

Hung Harvey: I hook up with the boyfriend of Sabrina the Teenage Witch

I was back in West Hollywood for my friend Larry's annual Oscar party.  On March 25th, the night before, Lane and Randall the Muscle Bear with the Pierced Penis took me out to all our old haunts: Bodhi Tree, Different Light, the French Quarter, the Gold Coast, and the Faultline.

But we never made it to the Faultline.

I was struck by a twink sitting at the bar in the Gold Coast. A little shorter than me, broad shoulders, very handsome round face with sandy hair and glasses, kind of a Harry Potter look except for the lumberjack shirt.

I sat next to him.  He said "Howdy, pardner," and held out his hand to be shaken.

I made a quip about Hogwarts.  He countered with a quip about Lemony Snicket's Unfortunate Events.

Our legs pressed together under the bar.  "Can I buy you another beer?" I asked.

"Heck, I'll buy you a beer.  I'll buy everybody a beer.  Drinks are on me!"

"Well, I don't really drink."

"A virgin margarita, then.  You have to let me buy you something.  I can afford it.  I'm Harvey, and I'm always going to be Harvey, no matter what they say!"

Was that name supposed to mean something?  All I could think of was Harvey the Giant Rabbit in the James Stuart movie. 

 "Ok, Harvey, a Coke will be fine."

He seemed a little soused, but not unbearably so.  I reached out, unbuttoned a couple of buttons of his lumberjack shirt, and slid my hand down to feel his firm, hairy chest.  Few twinks have that much hair -- I was hooked!

I reached down and groped him.

Nice bulge.  Maybe an 8-incher beneath the belt.  I was even more hooked!

"Hey!" Harvey exclaimed.  "This place is dead!  Let's go to the Rage!"

The notoriously noisy twink bar? But I was over 23

"Well, I'm here with my friends.  We were going to the Faultline.  We're a little old for the Rage."

"Nonsense.  You're with me.  Harvey can open every door."

The Rage was only a few blocks from our old apartment.  Maybe it would be fun.

It wasn't.  The music was blaring, the air was thick with cigarette smoke and poppers, and there were swarming munchkins everywhere.  It was uncomfortable for everyone, especially the bears I dragged along.

They sat at one of the little round tables, Lane with a soda and Randall with a beer, while Harvey and I danced.  Or did whatever swaying movements we could with the press of gyrating twinks.

Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder.  It was Randall.

"Hey, either seal the deal and let's go home and screw," he yelled, trying to make himself understood over the roar, "Or drop this twink and let's go home and screw!"

"Ok, ok."  I took Harvey by the hand and led him to a dark area where couples went to kiss.

"What do you want to do now?" he asked, grinning.

"What do you think?"  I put my arms around him, and we started kissing.  He allowed only a brief kiss-- not very impressive.  I reached down and groped him again.  His Kielbasa became aroused, but he didn't t grope me in return.

A bit cool, but I was too into him to notice.  "Let's go back to my place.  I'm staying in my friends' guest room."

More after the break. Caution: Explicit

Cobra Kai, Episode 6.3: Danny and Johnny are boyfriends? Mr. Miyagi wasn't a saint? With Tony Cavalero and some karate cocks

 

In Karate Kid, 1984, the small, scrawny Danny, trained by the saintly Mr. Miyagi, uses the Power of Love to beat the much more muscular Johnny, trained by the evil Kreese. 

Left: the butt of William Zabka, who played Johnny

The TV series Cobra Kai catches up with the former enemies 40 years later. Apparently they now run a dojo together.  I reviewed Season 6 Episode 3, because it features Tony Cavalero

Scene 1: A party, maybe a baby shower, is going on, with two teenage boys -- one might be Brandon H. Lee -- saying "I don't think I'll ever get used to that" and somebody yelling about Anthony eating all the cannolis.  She complains that he just flew in to kill someone, and has stayed for six months. So this is a crime family?

Out in the living room, a super-femme guy grabs some kind of beverage that looks like a jar of molasses, while his boyfriend complains that he's a drunk. 

Wait -- Super-Femme Johnny is the father -- Hired Killer Anthony asks if he wants a boy or a girl.  He doesn't care; he's so femme that he can relate to either. 

Uh-oh, somebody delivered a box that's ticking!  One of their enemies, maybe Silver or Kreese, must have sent a bomb!   

Back in the kitchen, everyone hears an explosion: it was pink paint for the gender-reveal!

Wait -- super-femme guy is Johnny, William Zabka from the movie.  He got swishy in his old age.  And his boyfriend must be...Danny, Ralph Macchio!

Scene 2:  In East Asia, a militarized dojang in a sculpted estate like a Hollywood drug lord.  Enemy Kreese -- Martin Kove, still sneering -- brags about the discipline of his ninjas.  Yoon, his best student, can break a board, but Sung, the rebel, can chop it in half.  For his back-talk, he is assigned to clean the toilet.

Contrast with Femme Guy's more easy-going dojo.  One of his students asks how, if they're so easy-going, they can compete in the big tournament   "They're not. They're going to get their asses kicked."  But it's all about having fun, right?

Meanwhile, Femme Guy is coaching the dojo students.  Boyfriend comes in. Femme Guy tells him that his daughter fights like a pussy.  No way they'll win the big tournament if the girls can't get their edge on.  Boyfriend is not happy with this sexism, and tells him to get them ready anyhow.

Scene 3: Boyfriend is packing up Mr. Miyagi's stuff so the Assassin can move into his room. Moving the bed, he finds a secret compartment containing a mysterious chest!

More karate cock after the break

Peder Lindell: Gay skater from Montana, gay Catholic boy, magician, zombie, and pilot, with possible Peder penis

Ok, this time I checked in advance, so I don't get tricked by another interloper on the red carpet. 

The Disney wiki lists Peder Lindell in the cast of  The Rise of the Red as Morgie, the teenage son of Morgan Le Fay from the Arthurian mythos.

The character does not appear in earlier "Descendants" movies or tv shows, but he looks like he might be gay.

Peder grew up in Northfield, Minnesota, and began acting at age 11. with a role in a stage version of On Golden Pond at the Minnesota Jungle Theater.  He went on to star in Gypsy, and then as Jason, a closeted gay student at a homophobic Catholic school, in Bare: A Pop Opera. 

Jordan Luke Gage played Jason in the West End revival.  Spoiler alert: the gay dude dies.

Peder is currently a theater arts major at Loyola Marymount University in Los Angeles.  

He has his pilot's license and certification as an Advanced Rescue Diver and Emergency First Responder.

 And he has a boyfriend and a little dog.

Of his six acting credits on the IMDB, three are shorts: 

Out of My Hands, about a boy and a gun, aired at the Catalina Film Festival.

Leak seems to be about a boy in a jar.

Scraps depicts a gay romance between skateboarders in Montana in the homophobic early 2000s.  It's the "first Montana LGBTQ skate film."

Peder penis after the break