Eight Penises and Packages of South Carolina

I've been to South Carolina several times -- I have relatives in Walterboro, about an hour west of Charleston, and I had a job interview at the University of South Carolina on eyear.  Here are some photos of South Carolina penises and packages that I may or may not have seen in real life

The nude photos are all from public websites or posted with permission of the subject.

1.Walterboro nude

2. Spiderman, ready for trick-or-treating in Charleston's French Quarter

3. At home, Charleston

Old City Market, Charleston

4.Halloween Parade

5. Gullah Island

More after the break

"Wednesday": The Top 13 Hunks and Hunkoids of Nevermore Academy, some gay, some with d*cks

 

The second season of Wednesday, featuring the boarding-school adventures of the Addams Family girl, has dropped on Netflix.  Again there seem to be no gay characters.  Netflix is usually good at LGBT representation; I'm guessing that it's the Charles Addams estate that wants Wednesday's world to be gay-free.  

But there are a number of gay actors, and a variety of hunks and hunkoids to add to the queer enjoyment of the series.

1. Hunter Doohan as Tyler, son of the local sheriff and secretly a hyde (werewolf).

Hunter's backside.

Hunter is gay, and married to Fielder Jewett.

2. Isaac Ordonez as Pugsley, Wednesday's younger brother, a new student at the school.  He's also a fashion model who wears multiple rings, so I assume that he's gay.

3. Georgie Farmer as Ajax Petropolus, a gorgon student at Nevermore Academy.  His social media doesn't mention a girlfriend, so....

4. Luis Guzman (right) as Wednesday's father Gomez, who gets a plotline in Season 2.  

Short and chubby, two selling points, if he's available.

5. Haley Joel Osment, the "I see dead people" kid, as a serial killer.  I've always assumed that he's gay, but Google AI says he's straight (or rather "not gay").

6. Moosa Mostafa as Eugene, Wednesday's ally, who has a crush on her roommate. 

More after the break

Gemstones Episode 4.8, Continued: We finally see Big Dick Mitch, the boy named Stacy, a serial killer, and a lot of tied-up guys

Previous: Gemstones Episode 4.8: BJ's hookup, Corey's birthday blade, and Tyler's tree trunk

Earlier in the episode, we saw the homophobic Vance Simkins dragged offstage, BJ getting up out of his wheelchair and walking again, Teenjus in a dance competition, and Cobb Milsap gifting his son Corey with a very special knife.  

The Songs Aimee-Leigh and Lori Wrote:    The siblings are ending a very long board meeting.  They're anxious to go home, but Martin insists on bringing in one last visitor.  What is he, their receptionist?

It's Lori Milsap, Eli's ex-girlfriend!  She needs to talk to Eli, but he won't answer her calls or texts.  They growl and posture, and yell about how much they hate her, until she proves that she loves them.

 1. When Judy was a few months old, they had to drive to Nashville for a show, and Aimee-Leigh missed her so much that she couldn't stop crying.  So they wrote "Little Angels, Big Hearts." Why did you leave your three-month old baby at home? And by the way, that's an eight-hour drive.  You'd better fly.

2. When Kelvin was about 12, he was in a piano concert in Atlanta.  He forgot his lucky shoes, but Mama convinced him to play anyhow.  And they wrote "Barefoot and Praying."  Why does Kelvin's musical talent appear in flashbacks, but never in the present?  He doesn't even own a piano.

3. When Gideon was a baby, he got a fever, and they didn't know if he would make it.  Jesse stayed up all night, holding his hand, and they wrote "Heaven's Thunder," about finding the strength to never give up.  Hey, I'm tearing up. My dad stayed up all night with me once when I was sick.   

This actually proves that Aimee-Leigh loved them, not Lori, but the siblings are moved, and agree to help her contact Eli. 

Big Dick Mitch:  After their lunch,  Eli and Baby Billy get into their car.  Suddenly they get darted, and go unconscious!   Cobb grabbed them in the middle of the afternoon , in the parking lot of a busy restaurant?  

They awaken several hours later, tied up in a concrete room, with a naked, collared man who says he was kidnapped.

Eli: "Are you Big Dick Mitch?"

Baby Billy: "That's an odd thing to comment on."  Dude can't help it if he likes dicks, Baby Billy. Remember, he dated Junior.

Notice that Big Dick Mitch is actually quite small. Lori would know this.  I think Cobb gave him the nickname to embarrass him, and told his son -- uh-oh, Corey is in on it, or at least aware of it and protecting Cobb.

Mitch is played by Regan Burns, an actor and comedian best known as the Dad on Dog with a Blog  He has 83 credits on the IMDB.

Cobb enters and introduces Mitch as "a good boy," using a taser to keep him cowering.  He explains that  "I keep Mitch alive because he entertains me," implying that he usually kills Lori's boyfriends.

He's not sure if he will kill Eli and Baby Billy, or break them down, "see how long it takes you to crack, make y'all my womans."  

"You ain't gonna make me a woman!" Baby Billy exclaims.

"I'll make you whatever I want."  He unzips and pulls it out (unseen).  Mitch whimpers as he starts to lower into position for sucking his dick.  Then suddenly Stacy pages him: "the police are here.  They'd like a word."

Stacy is actually a guy, played by Michael Berthold.  Cobb seems to be promoting traditional hegemonic masculinity with the contention that someone who plays a passive role in same-sex activity is a "woman," yet he doesn't seem bothered by a long-haired, androgynous boy with a girl's name?

Michael Berthold grew up in Apopka, north of Orlando, Florida, and as of this writing is a student at the University of Florida, Gainsville.  He has 28 acting credits on the IMDB, including Billy the Fetus (2016), for which he won a Young Actors Award, and  The Peanut Butter Falcon (2019), where he worked with Shia LaBeouf.

And he owns a Great Dane.

I like him so much that I have been writing fan fiction where he dates Pontius.

More after the break

Ansel Pierce: "Duster" Baby Face and "Euphoria" BIg Dick, with Rat Boy, Chubby Guy, and West Hollywood digressions

 

In Duster Episode 1.4, 1970s mob driver Jim Ellis (why not name him Duster?) and the boss's Probably Gay Son (Josh Holloway, Benjamin Charles Watson) are transporting Howard Hughes' car across the Arizona desert, when they almost crash into a car being driven by two guys who aren't named, so I'll call them Rat Boy (left) and Baby Face (right).  

They look like  Mormon missionaries, but their bumper sticker says "Vacuums suck," so they may be salesmen. 

Jim/Duster and Probably Gay Son stop at Floyd's Gas and Go, and the guys follow.  Ulp, their trunk is filled with guns, cables, ropes, and baseball bats embedded with spikes.  They're baddies!  While Jim/Duster is occupied with an unrelated assassination attempt, the Mormon missionary-baddies beat up the mechanic and the Probably Gay Son, and steal the car!   

Jim/Duster and his assassin-turned-ally track them down and kill them, Baby Face with a knife to his head (through an open car window while they're driving side by side), and Rat Boy with a shot in the back.

We learn no more about the characters, but I wanted to research the actors, especially Baby Face.

Rat Boy is played by Garrett Young, who has 13 acting credits on IMDB, including Timid Pimps, Other People's Heads (where he played a head), and Chicago Justice/Med/Fire. 

As a stage actor, he has appeared in John Proctor is the Villain on Broadway, Clyde's, and The Oresteia.  

His Instagram has the "no women," "a lot of hugging guys," and "world's best uncle" gay codes until you get to the very end, where there are a lot of photos of his wife and kid.

On to Baby Face.

We've seen him before -- a lot of him.  He is Ansel Wolf Pierce, best known as Caleb, a recurring character in Euphoria Season 2, and particularly for the house party scene in Episode 2.1: Cassie is hiding in the bathtub when he comes in and sits on the toilet, revealing a..Holy sh*t, that thing is huge!  Noticing her, he apologizes: "You're really hot but I still gotta take a sh*t."  She doesn't mind.

I repeat: Holy sh*t, that thing is huge!

We see his backside, too, but who was paying attention?

Plus Ansel has a social media presence, for a change.

A "versatile young talent making waves in the world of modeling and acting" (and d*cks), he graduated from Fossil Ridge High School in Fort Collins, Colorado, in 2018, then studied business at the University of Colorado.  

While he was in college, a photographer noticed him (and his d*ck) and invited him to L.A. for a fashion shoot.  He decided that modeling would be his career.

Today Ansel is represented by Wilhelmina Models, where he is listed as 6'2", waist 38, shoe size 12, d*ck size  -- well, we already know about that.

More after the break

Case Walker: ChaseDreams from "The Other Two" grows up, plays a monster, displays his delts and...stuff. With n*de Chase, Tarver, and Fin

 Case Walker was as a kid growing up in Denver who  weekly podcasts on musical.ly and other social media platforms, and within a year had 1.7 million followers and a new television program: The Other Two, on HBO Max were Brook and Cary Dubek (Heléne Yorke, Drew Tarver, left), a failed dancer and aspiring actor dealing with the sudden fame of their 13-year old brother, Chase (Case Walker), aka teen pop sensation ChaseDreams. 

At least in the first season (2019).  In the second and third seasons (2021, 2023), Brooke and Drew get the lion's share of plotlines, negotiating increasing success, friendships, and romances.

  For instance, Dreew dates Lucas (Fin Argus), a method actor who stays in character off camera and therefore refuses sex. 

ChaseDreams still appeared in nearly every episode, but he has very few centrics.  The writers just didn't know what to do with him. Turn him into a bad boy, with pink hair and a lot of tattoos? Make him a fake mental health advocate?  Have him date a girl who isn't a fan?

Viewers mostly ignored him. It was much more interesting to see a non-swishy gay guy who actually had a romantic life.

While we weren't paying attention, Case grew up.  As of this writing, he's 22 years old, and buffed.  No, ripped.  No -- have you ever seen delts like that?

More after the break

Gideon Gemstone's Secret Life, Part 2: Keefe singing, Jimmy twerking, and Gideon in his underwear

Previous: Gideon Gemstone's Secret Life, Part 1: Jimmy Olsen finds out that the Gemstones do it big

In Part 1, Jimmy Olsen visits the Gemstones at the Lake House to write a story for The Daily Planet, and learns that something happened to Gideon that no one will talk about. On Friday, he interviews Jesse, Amber, Abraham, and Pontius.  It's Saturday morning, time for Kelvin and Keefe.  Then Gideon arrives

Kelvin Gemstone: The Top Christ Following Man

On Saturday morning, Jimmy came downstairs to the staff bustling about, cleaning bedrooms, mopping, vacuuming.  Most of the family had already finished breakfast and scattered to the boat or the swimming pools, but Kelvin and Keefe were still in the breakfast nook.  The youngest of the Gemstones was short, sturdy, muscular, and femme, a Tom of Finland drag queen, married to a long-haired muscleman with a fading “Hail Satan” tattoo visible on his forearm. 

“Good morning!” Kelvin called, flashing the usual Look.  “I hope you got a lot of rest, ‘cause we have a full day planned.”

Jimmy sat next to him.  A waiter jumped forward to fill his coffee cup and hand him the breakfast menu.  He ordered the Denver omelet and sourdough toast. 

“To be honest, after the noise and honking horns of Metropolis, it was hard to sleep in the quiet.”  Especially with his superpower revealing who was going at it at 3 and 4 am.

“Back when I was in Satan’s Baby, we toured in Metropolis a lot,” Keefe said. “I used to be a regular in the gay club scene up there.  Have you been to The Metropolis Eagle?”

Why did Keefe think that Jimmy would be hanging out in gay clubs?  “Your heavy metal past is a story waiting to be told. Maybe I can interview you later?”

He looked down at his mostly-eaten frittata.  “Thanks, but I like to stay out of the spotlight.  I’m the roots of the tree, and Kelvin is the branches.” 

Ok, so he wouldn’t be getting much information from Keefe.  Time to interrogate Kelvin. “So you came out publicly last year, but I’m sure the family knew long before that.  How did you come out to them?”

“Well, I didn’t really need to come out to them – they knew long before I did, back when I was a kid and sneaked peeks at my sister’s teen magazines. It took me forever to figure it out for myself.  I was in denial for years, until…”  He hesitated.  “I guess the kidnapping.”

But that was in 2023.  He had the God Squad, a cadre of bodybuilders living in yurts on his front lawn, in 2022.  How could he not know?

Keefe objected, too: “But we were doing stuff back when we first met, when Gideon and Scotty….” Kelvin shot him a harsh look, and he trailed off.

Obviously Kelvin was trying to control the narrative, present himself as unaware until 2023, so he could claim not to know about Gideon and Scotty….who the heck was Scotty, and what did it have to do with Kelvin?

“Keefe, are you sure you won’t reconsider that interview?  Maybe we can do it while swimming later.  I heard that the Lake House was clothing optional?”'

Keefe flashed the Look and glanced at Kelvin, who nodded his consent.

Kelvin Gemstone is short in stature, but he knows how to Do It Big: with puffy muscles, flamboyant outfits, and a series of revolutionary ministry innovations.  His most recent, a daily reflection for queer youth, averages 200 people in the on-site meeting and over a million views on the Gemstone streaming service, and won him the Top Christ Following Man of the Year Award.  Yet at home he is the quintessential nerd, a quiet, shy guy who collects comic books, plays arcade games with his husband, and can name all of the planets in the “Star Wars” universe.

Keefe Chambers: the Heavy Metal Rocker

City boy Jimmy learned to swim in a public pool, had been rescued from a sinking ship by Beast Boy, and was trembling with fear on the floating dock as Keefe dove into the 200-foot deep water of Lake Murray   (Kelvin stayed behind to do some work with Prism.)  He pulled himself up, rocking the dock – the guy weighed 200 pounds – and climbed up to the slide. 

He paused.  “Aren’t you coming in, Jimmy?” 

“No, thanks -- I’ll just work on my tan.  But I’m enjoying watching you.”  Jimmy hesitated, realizing that it sounded like he was interested – and maybe he was.  The guy was massive everywhere. Of course, he had a semi due to their proximity, but Keefe was bigger with a semi than most guys fully aroused.  He'd definitely need an extra-extra big condom.  If Jimmy was going to accept one of the three-way hints this weekend, it would be with the heavy metal rocker and his husband.

Keefe tumbled down the slide, dove in again, and then lay on the beach towel next to Jimmy – so close that they were touching, of course.  .

“Tell me about how you and Kelvin met,” Jimmy suggested.

He grinned at the memory.  “It was at Charleston Pride 2019.  I was passing out fliers for Baby Queef – my solo act after I quit Satan’s Baby.  Kelvin came to one of my performances, and that was it.  For me, anyway.  It took like three years to convince him that we should be more than sex buddies, and five years to talk him into marrying me.”

Keefe Chambers was on his way to an impressive career – lead singer in a heavy metal band, a solo act as a Satanic comedian, friends with musical giants Ozzie Osborne and Trent Reznor, covers of “It’s Raining Men” and “I’m Coming Out” that charted in France. But he gave it all up to stand in the wings, quietly supporting Kelvin Gemstone, his best friend, boyfriend, and eventually his husband.

“So Charleston Pride, June 2019, right?”  Jimmy fished. "Was that before or after Gideon and Scotty?”

“Gideon came home from California later, after I moved into Kelvin's house.  Maybe in January or February?  Scotty came up a week or so later, and stayed through...well, stayed awhile.”

“A boyfriend?”

“Probably.  I mean, we had them over for dinner, like they were a couple.”

“So Gideon is gay?”

Keefe patted his shoulder. “You'd better ask him yourself.  He likes irises and Greek food.”  He dove into the water again.

If Rev. Gemstone allowed Gideon and his boyfriend to live openly in his house in the spring of 2020, the thing that happened couldn’t be about being gay.  Unless he started homophobic, kicked Gideon out of the house, and somehow the relationship was restored.

More after the break

"Final Destination: Blood Legacy": Death has a wacky sense of humor. With Travis Turner, the gay guy from "Chucky," and a n*de security guard

Final Destination is a movie franchise about people who escape death, so Death tracks them down and offs them in complex, gruesome ways that would make Rube Goldberg proud.  Final Destination: Bloodlines (2025), on HBO MAX, gets a score of 93% Fresh on Rotten Tomatoes, and reviews of "a scary streaming hit with a surprising amount of heart."  I'm looking for beefcake and gay characters, of course.

Scene 1: A blindfolded girl is apparently going to her Sweet Sixteen party with her father.  She asks for a hint, but he will only say "You'll love it!"  They end up at a fancy building, the Sky Tower, with a weird fountain outside.  She is thrilled: "I didn't even know it was open yet!"

"I pulled some favors, and got us on the list for opening night."  How are people in movies always pulling in favors.  Who are they granting this big favors for?

Transistor radio playing Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire" (1963).  This is the mid-1960s.

First misdirection: "Dad" is made up to look much older than "Daughter," but actually they are only eight years apart: Paul (Max Lloyd Jones, age 34) and his girlfriend Iris (Brec Bassinger, age 26) 

The Evil Penny-Dropping Kid (Noah Bromley, who deserves an Oscar for his smouldering malice) is nabbed for fishing coins out of the fountain, then pushes ahead of them to get on the elevator.  It is overcrowded, but the Elevator Operator (Travis Turner) says that there's plenty of room.   Don't believe it.  I saw that Twilight Zone episode.

Uneasy, Iris agrees to squeeze in with Paul. 

The dang floor is glass!  Penny Dropping Kid starts jumping up and down to scare her more.

And they make it to the Skyview Restaurant. Unfortunately, their reservation has been cancelled, so they sit at the bar, while we see the various set-ups for the deaths and destruction: people dancing on the glass floor, a pricked finger, a chef doing a flambé, a woman singing "I came tumbling down," and so on.  Back story: Iris is pregnant, but hasn't told her boyfriend yet.

They walk up the stairs to the observation deck, where Paul decides to pop the question.  But then the Penny-Dropping Kid drops the penny, starting a chain reaction that reveals the structural faults and will send the whole tower tumbling down.

Down on the main floor, as the singer sings "Shout!", they all jump up and down on the glass floor.  It caves in, and people fall to the ground.  Lol, the parking valets are playing "Raindrops Keep Fallin' on my Head"!.  Then the whole place catches on fire and explodes. The Elevator Operator tries to guide everyone down the stairs, but they crumble.  He guides them onto the elevator, but it splats.  The tower topples.  Iris and a little boy are hanging on..,they fall and die!

Scene 2: Psych!  It was just a dream.  In the modern era, Stef awakes screaming during her university math lecture (in a giant lecture hall, like even the most advanced classes in movies).  The Professor yells at her.

Later, in the dorm room, Stef has the same dream, and wakes up screaming. Her roommate yells at her for having the same dream every night and waking her up. The woman in her dream is named Iris -- her grandmother's name!  She's dreaming about her grandma, who she never met.  No wonder, she died before she could give birth to Stef's mother.

Scene 3: Stef is determined to track down her Grandma Iris and find out what the dream means. Back home, she greets her dad (Tipo Lee),  who is happy to see her, and sibling Charlie, who is not.  Dead end: Dad threw out all of Grandma's stuff after Mom abandoned them. 

More after the break

Gemstones Episode 4.8: BJ's hookups, Corey's birthday blade, and Tyler's tree trunk

 

Previous: Gemstones Episode 4.7, Continued: Teenjus meets the Devil.  So does Kelvin. With a gay Christian, Jordanian junk, and Dustin's d*ck

 Title: "On Your Belly You Shall Go." Genesis 3.14, KJV: The Serpent tempted Adam and Eve to eat the forbidden fruit, leading to their knowledge of good and evil, so God curses it: "On your belly you shall go, and dust you shall eat all the days of your life."  I imagine that we'll just see someone getting eaten by a snake.  Or a gator.

A Homosexual in Our Midst: Fox News broadcasts "Vance Simkins Loses Control at Award Ceremony."  He yells "They let a homosexual in our midst!" and starts punching and hitting people before being dragged off stage. 

Jesse, watching on tv, tells Amber "I fucking love this."  Amber agrees: "He is a very negative man."   They argue about what role Jesse had in Kelvin's victory, but end up agreeing that he was important "behind the scenes."

BJ's Hookups:  Judy wheeling BJ and the Monkey through the park, complaining that they used to do picnics and hookups.  Now they can't do that.  So BJ and Judy used to go on Grindr and invite guys over?  Tell me more.

BJ wants to show her something: He can get out of the wheelchair and walk a few steps before falling.  Then a few more steps.  "I am healed!" he yells.  The Monkey is not happy.

Cut to Eli is sitting in the dark, looking at photos of him with Lori.  He decides to cut his hair.  Thank God -- he looked horrible with that long, stringy do.

The Monkey Smokes: Family dinner at Jason's, around a round table, with the newly cleaned-up Eli, and the Monkey bringing dinner rolls to BJ.   Everyone praises Eli for cutting his hair; Jesse quips that he looked like "one of those Shakespearean witches."  So we've moved from Hamlet to Macbeth.

They wonder why BJ hasn't returned the Monkey, since he's cured.  He wants to keep it.

Pontius and Gideon, now friends, want to see the Monkey smoke, so Baby Billy pulls out a cigarette.  Like Kelvin, Gideon has decided to be "true to himself" and not be straitjacketed by societal expectations about Christian youth.  

The Monkey smokes!  Kelvin and Keefe want to get one: it would be a great addition to Game Night.  So they have a Game Night?  Who do they invite, gay couples?

Uh-oh, the Monkey starts to masturbate.  

The Monkey Turns Murderous: Judy is taking a bath when the Monkey comes in and grabs a plugged-in hair drier.  Hey, that will electrocute her!    He comes closer and closer, while Judy pleads: "Please don't murder me."  BJ rings the bell, and he rushes out.

She goes downstairs, where BJ is reading a romance novel, Sunkissed and Sentimental (not real) , and watching Chowder (2007-2010), a cartoon about an apprentice chef in a world where everyone is named after food (Kimchi, Mung Daal, Truffles, Gazpacho).  I'm not sure about the significance.

BJ refuses to believe that the Monkey is murderous, so she spins it, saying that they should give him to someone who needs his help.

Losing a Pet: Happy Helping Hands arrives, with Amber and Brody, to take the Monkey away. Crying, BJ notes that the Monkey has attachment issues ever since he lost his mother at a young age.   "He was beautiful, and he believed in me."  I fast forwarded through the scene. F*k the Sadness.

Left: Brody is played by Chris Rubiez. a "dad/husband" from Roanoke, Virginia, "half Lebanese and half country boy." No beefcake photos online, so I'll f*k the Sadness with a bear with a similar face and physique.

Ok, we've had the Sad Scene.  Now let's try for some Comedy.

Turn My Water into Wine: The Nanny grills a giant sausage at the beach while Tiffany and her kids sit at a picnic table. Baby Billy was supposed to be here an hour ago!  

Cut to Baby Billy snorting cocaine, and then playing Teenjus, who has just turned water into wine.  Johnny B (Pilot Bunch) proclaims that this will make him the hit of the village party, and he won't be bullied for having a virgin mother. 

Cut!  No Virgin Mom in the script!  No ad-libbing.  "Say exactly what I f*king wrote!"  I wouldn't be surprised if Johnny B walks.

Baby Billy stomps back to the Director's Tent to snort some more cocaine.

More after the break.  Caution: Explicit.

Skyler's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 1: Birthdays, biceps, and a Viking Satyr. Plus Asa Butterfield's junk

This is a collection of cute/cool or hot/humorous photos of  Skyler Gisondo, star of The Santa Clarita Diet and The Righteous Gemstones, and Jimmy Olsen in the upcoming Superman: Legacy.   As far as I know, he's over 18 in all of them.  He doesn't have any verifiable nude photos online, but some of his friends do, and there are some interesting chatroom and hookup app possibilities.

1. 24th birthday, with cat, odd presents, and a bare chest.

2. "Ok, I switched to a muscle shirt.  Now can we kiss?"

3. Is an infinite number of Skylers enough?

4. Skyler starred in The Santa Clarita Diet as the boyfriend of the daughter of the zombified Sheila Hammond.  Thomas Novak played their high school principal.

5.Skyler dressed as a Viking Satyr for a competition in Wet Hot American Summer.   If you don't like eating hot peppers, I have another suggestion.

6. A more realistic Viking-Satyr costume for you to consider

More genuine Gisondo after the break. Warning: explicit.