Title: "You Shall Remember," from Deuteronomy 8.18: "You shall remember the Lord your God, for it is He who gives you the power to get wealth, that He may establish His covenant." The Gemstones have forgotten that God made them rich so they can help people. Tonight they'll get their comeuppance.
The Dirt on Vance: Vance Simkins (Stephen Dorff) examines his burnt-out church, fuming, and glares at the Gemstone satellite church across the street. Cut to a Simpkins Commercial with him and his siblings, Craig and Shay, saying: "Grace.. .Praise... Rejoice.. Salvation."
Vance calls his siblings to his office, but Shay won't come ("she wants nothing to do with you") and Craig (Gogo Lomo David) is just there for his money: their parents' estate put Vance in charge, so he has to depend on hand-outs. Vance gives him $10,000, and tells him to make it last.
Craig criticizes Vance for running the church into the ground,destroying their parents' legacy. He keeps trying to open new churches when they're broke, just to compete with the Gemstones: "You can't admit you're beat, can you?"
Vance protests that he's going to win the Top Christ Following Man Award.
"You're a straight white man," Craig digs. "Your kind don't get awards anymore. Wait -- are you straight? Never had a girlfriend, sweetie-pie." Enraged by the implication, Vance slaps Craig and throws him onto the desk.
Uh-oh, a church deacon saw the attack. Vance is violent, like Uncle Peter in Season 3 and Lyle Lissons in Season 2....he's the Big Bad of the season!
Vance had some queer codes back in Season 3, when he swished around with that tiny dog. It would make sense for him to be gay and closeted.
Baby Billy and Kelvin in Decline: Baby Billy finishes his screenplay about a teenage Jesus and his friends, changes the title from "Teen Jesus" to "Teenjus," and snorts some cocaine. That's the Belly of the Beast in the Gemstone universe, buddy.
Cut to Kelvin and Keefe rushing through the crowd of queer well-wishers to a party to celebrate his Top Christ Following Man nomination. Jesse, Amber, and Judy look angry; Eli, Lori, and Gideon look happy. Abraham looks intrigued; Pontius sneers. Another of Jesse's kids comes out
They begin partying. Kelvin joins his siblings to gloat at the big turnout. Judy sneers: "You're their little gay avatar." Jesse: "You need to stop smelling your farts." Translation: He's getting way too conceited about this award thing.
Lori drops by. They criticize her for having sex with their father. She promises to lock the door next time, and asks if they can start over and be friends again. She's known them all their lives. Nope, "We reject this union."
Lori: "All y'all little cocksuckers better put on your big boy pants and get the fuck over it." Hey, that's homophobic, and at a LGBTQ event! My estimation of Lori dropped 20 points.
She continues: "I wanted to be y'all's friend, but if you want a wicked stepmother, I can do that, too."
The siblings interpret "stepmother" to mean that Lori and Eli got married. They are disgusted.
Baby Billy is Doomed. Cut to Baby Billy and Tiffany cuddling in a swing, while the Nanny cleans the pool. He describes their life as idyllic, but it's going to get better. They'll make a fortune with his new project, Teenjus.
The Nanny notes that she likes teen dramas like Pretty Little Liars and Gossip Girl. She would watch it. Baby Billy yells at her.
Left: Matthew Settle, who plays the dad on "Gossip Girl."
Here he shows his dick. At least you know it's not a prosthetic
And his backside
Tiffany suggests that Baby Billy retire so he will be around for their children growing up, but he refuses. He's got to seize this opportunity. "I got to provide for you. I don't know how much time I got." Another precursor of doom.
BJ's Injury. BJ tries to make it from the toilet to his wheelchair, but fails and falls into the bathtub. Judy rushes in to help. He complains that he can't even pee on his own. "I'm broken. I'm half a man."
Judy points out that the doctors say he will have a full recovery, but he won't believe it. When she tries to help him out of the bathtub, he angrily yells at her to go.
Amber arrives to see how they are doing -- they're both miserable -- and to give Judy service monkey named Dr. Watson. She works with a charity that trains service monkeys for disabled veterans.
More after the break