Gemstones Episode 1.7, Continued: Bisexual fish, Thai brothers, and Scotty with a broken heart. With a Thai dick bonus

Previous:  Episode 1.7, Keefe is in love, Scotty is hard, and everybody s*ks dick. With photos of guys doing it

Earlier in this episode, BJ left Judy due to her constant abuse, and Gideon left Scotty...for the same reason?  He also abandoned the plot to steal the Easter Sunday offerings. . 

Exclusively Female Fish: That night, Jesse and Amber are congratulating each other on his performance, when Gideon appears, fortunately with no scrapes or bruises from his fight with Scotty.

He tells them that Scotty had to leave town unexpectedly, and Jesse praises him for helping a guy who was "down on his luck."  Then he encourages Gideon to share his "special news" with Amber.

He says: "I'm not in love with Scotty."

 "In love with Scotty?" Amber repeats, confused.  I'm confused, too.  That wasn't the special news. Jesse just finished saying that he was helping the guy, not dating him.  Is Gideon trying to convince himself?

He clamps down: "I'm not.  I'm just your son, regular."  

Now Jesse seems to be convinced that they were dating after all, and encourages Gideon to bounce back: "there's a lot of handsome fish in the sea."  Gideon says that he's looking for "female fishes exclusively.  It was just a...."  

Just a what, Gideon?  Just a one-time thing?   It's impossible not to conclude that Gideon and Scotty had a sexual relationship.      

"Ok, so you're bi," Jesse concludes. 

Gideon protests that he's not bi, but his parents are so supportive, or he is so uncomfortable with the conversation, that he just lets it go, leaving the question open.

I suspect that the showrunners were unsure, when they planned the scene, if Gideon was going to be bisexual or not. They fudged by giving him no expressed romantic or erotic interest in anyone in Seasons 2 and 3,  The Kelvin/Keefe and BJ/Judy relationship plotlines were enough. 

You made your choice:  Later that night, Scotty returns to the compound.  Security chief Brock waves him through (Gideon really should have told him that Scotty is no longer welcome.)  Remember that his blackmail van is in Kelvin's garage?  He breaks the van through the garage door.  Keefe sees him but thinks it's just one of Jesse's car pranks.  The partners were kept completely in the dark.  If only Kelvin had been a little more forthcoming, Keefe could have called security.

Scotty then kidnaps Jesse and Gideon and takes them to Eli's house, where Eli  hands over the key to the church vault.  Wait -- how do they get past security guard Brock?

At the church, after they load up the money, Scotty ties Jesse and Gideon back-to-back in the church vault, where they'll be rescued Monday morning,  and punches them.  "We could have been a killer team, the pussy brothers of Thailand," he tells Gideon. "Coordinating low-budget kung fu pics during the day, slammin' ass at night."  Presumably he means girls, but you never know.  

"But you made your choice, and you broke my fuckin' heart."  Remember, Jesse said earlier that betrayal by a "loved one" can break your heart.  

It appears that Scotty had romantic feelings for Gideon..  He just didn't know how to express or experience. love without manipulation, threat, and control.

Despondent,  he drives away, while the background song describes precisely the sexual acts they engaged in, and why Gideon didn’t “just leave.” 

Creeper got mad and angry eyes – one look from him can paralyze.

Upon his lips the taste of pain, venom kiss of love insane

He got a rod beneath his coat – he gonna ram it right down your throat.

Make you grovel on the floor, spit up and scream and beg for more

 Bonus Thai dicks:

I've been to Thailand  Some fascinating historical and cultural sites temples, museums.  Plus wall-to-wall gay clubs.

More after the break

Nathan Kress, Freddie from ICarly, grown up. Is he still homophobic? Is he still shy about showing his dick?

Many Nickelodeon shows of the 2000s had strong homophobic subtexts, and  ICarly (2007-2012) was one of the worst.  Miranda Cosgrove starred as Carly, who hosts an internet comedy show with her butch-but-straight buddy Sam (a girl) and nerd-next-door-with-a- stereotyped crush on her, Freddie (Nathan Kress).  

They are supervised by her wacky bi-subtext older brother, Spencer. 

 On the way, the contempt for gay men, or as Sam calls them, prancies, oozes out in joke after joke.  The most egregious is Spencer being chased down and arrested for appearing in public in a dress; cross-dressing has not been a crime in any American city since the 1970s.

I especially disliked Nathan Kress, amd not only for the horribly cliched "unrequited crush" plotlines.  As he bulked up, he steadfastly refused to permit beefcake photos.  To an extent, that's his choice: his body, his rules.  But when you choose a career that depends on displaying that body, and further set yourself up as a teen idol, you have a sort of obligation to your fans.

More annoying was his reason for failing to post beefcake: he was a way, way conservative fundamentalist of the "hating ten gays before breakfast" variety, and he didn't want girls and prancies getting ideas.

Today Nathan's instagram is full of wife-and-children pictures. 

Still hardly any beefcake, unless incorporated into the wife-and-kid pictures.

And he's still ultra-fundamentalist.

I wouldn't find this mug so annoying if I didn't know that Nathan's God is good only to heterosexuals.  

I don't know who the crazy looking friend is.

More Nathan after the break

Jak and Kelton visit the Citadel: Beach Day, Dick Day, wrestling, modeling, and a tour of the campus

 

Jak Kristowski is a South Carolina-based media influencer, actor, producer, model, Disney fan, Baptist, missionary, and surfer.  His stage credits include  Aladdin: the Musical, David vs. Goliath, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Jr., and Anastasia, and he is the executive producer of the fan-based movie Spider-Man: The Dark Age.

In Episode 3.9 of The Righteous Gemstones, Jesse sends his wayward son Pontius to The Citadel, the South Carolina military college.  Jak was cast as one of Pontius's classmates. 

His scene was cut. but he got to meet Jody Hill, Danny McBride, and Kelton Dumont, he got a free lunch and a campus tour, and of course he still was paid.  He posted some pics of his experience on his instagram, and I added some of my own.

The Citadel enrolls  2,300 cadets who want the military-style education they might receive at West Point or Annapolis, but without the obligation of entering the military after graduating.  No Battle Logistics: you major in one of the standard academic subjects, like English or history.

The library and student union don't look much different from those of other colleges, except for the uniforms

The naked guys are about the same, except for the dog tags. (Not Jak or Kelton)

More cadets after the break. Warning: it gets explicit.

Joseph Cali: Nude model before Stonewall, John Travolta's disco buddy, soap opera hunk, Adonis Male

In 1968, a year before Stonewall, 18-year old Joseph Cali was playing chess and cruising in Washington Square Park in Manhattan when he was approached by George Haimsohn, author of Stories of the Homosexual Life, The Gay Psychedelic Sex Book, The Gay Coloring Book, A Summer on Fire Island, and the book and libretto for the musical Dames at Sea, which was currently playing off-Broadway.

Haimsohn was also a photographer, working under the name Plato, and invited Joe to model. 

His first full frontal photo appears in a 1968 issue of Go Guys.  The text says that Joe is a "fast shooting star on the physique horizon....well equipped to handle himself in any tight spot."  Tell me more, tell me more, did he get very far?

  

The photo set and magazine work paid for Joe's tuition at Siena College, where he led anti-war protests, starred in the play Drunkard, and worked as a stage manager for The Gingham Dog. 

 

He moved to Los Angeles in 1973, and continued to pose for the Model of the Month Club and Photozique, while making the rounds of auditions.

Joe's big break came in 1977, when he was cast as Joey, best buddy of John Travolta's Tony in the disco drama Saturday Night Fever

More Brooklyn-disco roles followed, including Flatbush, a tv series about a gang called the Fungos.  Joe starred as Presto opposite Adrian Zmed as Socks.  It only lasted for six episodes.

He got 19 episodes of Today's FBI in 1981-82 as Nick, the "Ethnic" member of the team according to Wikipedia.  I'm not sure what his ethnicity was.

More Joseph Cali after the break. Warning: Explicit

Eight Halifax hunks, bulging Bluenoses, and naked New Brunswickers

 

I don't remember the last time I posted on a Canadian tv series, but there were a lot of naked guys from Nova Scotia and Newfoundland left over that have been sitting in my "to post" file for ages.  

We'll start with a  New Brunswicker from St. Johns,   

Ginger violinist from Antigonish, on the Celtic coast of Nova Scotia

Antigonish selfie

Celtic church 

A statue of footballer Cristiano Ronaldo that fans have been rubbing "for luck."  It's in Portugal, so why did I post it in a collection of Canadian photos?  

Um...have you seen the bulge?

A bluenose is a Nova Scotian, like this guy aroused by a refrigerator in Halifax

More after the break

"Muscle & Fitness": Searching for the Kelvin cover, with Weatherford butt and Lesnar dick

 

In Righteous Gemstones Episode 2.5, the flashback to 1993, four-year old Kelvin has a cover of Muscle & Fitness on the wall of his room. 

 

Not featuring Dick Stark, top photo, or Steve Weatherford, left. 

I've never heard of either, but apparently they were famous enough to rate covers and nude photos.

You can only see Kelvin's cover for a second before Judy turns off the light. Notice that it's positioned very low, at Kelvin's height.  

Being a research fan, I looked through the entire Muscle & Fitness cover gallery to find the issue chosen by the set dresser.  Notice that it shows a man with very short hair, arms akimbo.

I worked at Muscle & Fitness in the 1990s.  Joe Weider was extremely homophobic, worried about gay men reading our magazine, so almost every cover featured a man and a woman together.  A number featured just women.  The only male-only covers during my four years at Muscle and Fitness featured a celebrity, usually Arnold Schwarzenegger, but sometimes Lou Ferrigno or a sports figure.

More after the break

Gemstones Episode 1.7: Keefe is in love, Scotty is hard, and everyone s*ks dick. With pictures of guys doing it.

 

Previous: Episode 1.6: Kelvin sees Keefe's cock, and gets a big head.

In Episode 1.6, after the blackmail plot fell through, Gideon and Scotty came up with a plan to steal the $3,000,000 in offerings that the church receives during the Easter service.  Gideon had doubts, but then Scotty showed up at his parents' house, pretending to be a friend visiting from California! 

Title: "And yet one of you is a devil."  From John 6.70. Jesus is complaining that he chose 12 disciplines, and one will betray him.  I guess we know who the devil is.

Prayer Power: A flashback to the Prayer Power Convention in Atlanta.  Gideon comes into the hotel room, upset: he was planning to have dinner with his Dad, but Jesse ditched him to play drinking games with his crew.  Jesse insults him, ridicules his upcoming internship and "California dreams," and orders him out.  On the way, Gideon sets his camera to take the video he would use for blackmailing.  So he didn't run away; the family knew that he had an intership set up. Why did Jesse act as if it was a big mystery.

Gideon the soul-winner: In the present, Scotty is having dinner with the family.  He explains that he came to South Carolina for a stunt job, but he "got banged up" and had to drop out.  Then he says that he came to see Gideon, who brought him to Christ. The family is so overjoyed that the "prodigal son" has become a soul-winner that no one notices the contradictions.

Uh-oh, Jesse recognizes Scotty from somewhere!  His cover is almost blown, but Scotty claims that he had a recurring role as a rapist on CSI Miami.  Rapist -- interesting choice, since CSI is about murder (you gather forensic evidence from the crime scene).  Scotty is painting himself as a sexual predator.  I wonder if Gideon is his latest victim.

Amber insists that he stay with them. Gideon protests, but Scotty touches his hand, and he consents.  So, Scotty, do you want a guest room, or would you prefer to share Gideon's bed?

We cut to a scene of Eli giving the siblings their Easter assignments; Judy will sing during the collection, Jesse will preach the sermon, and Kelvin has to lead a youth group song and dance number, which angers him (he's the youth minister; what did he expect?)

Shirt on, shirt off:  In the morning, Scotty and Gideon stop at the security station on their way out of the compound.  Hey, Scotty has his arm on Gideon's shoulder.   Everybody who sees them will think that they are a romantic couple.   Scotty flirts with security guard  Brock: "If you get to L.A., I'll get you an agent."  But he needs head shots, shirtless shots, and so on.  This is way more than Scotty needs to get access to the compound.  He just wants to see Brock naked.  

I'm gonna be rock-hard: Cut to the guys having dinner (score: three dinners for Scotty/Gideon, none for Kelvin/Keefe).  They discuss the plan: on Sunday morning, after the offering is counted, Gideon and Martin will take it down the service elevator to the vault.  Scotty will be waiting, wearing his devil's mask, and rob them.  How will he get out of the church, with thousands of people milling about?

"As soon as the elevator door opens," he promises, "I'm gonna be rock-hard."  

"Nothing too big," Gideon cautions.  He can't help his size, dude.

To make it believable and not implicate Gideon, Scotty suggests tying him up, and using a few P-whips. This term is not defined online.  Could it mean penis-whip?

Scotty has more news: He got the sex tape fixed, so he can do the original blackmail plan in addition to robbing the church. "This is what you always wanted," he says. "We destroy your old man."  Gideon is not so sure that he wants Jesse destroyed.

Tell TJ to walk out: Cut to Judy announcing to Baby Billy that they will be performing during the Easter service. But Baby Billy doesn't want to: "too little, too late."  BJ protests, and Billy orders him to leave.  Judy agrees: "You're making me look like an idiot.  Go outside!"  Uh-oh, disrespecting your boyfriend.  Since the Kelvin/Keefe plot runs parallel, we should be expecting some discord in their relationship soon.

Billy continues: "Your Daddy is a fame whore.  He'd suck a man's cock in the middle of town square if he thought it would make him famous forever. He'd suck ten men's cocks."  Being outed as gay or bi is the most embarrassing thing Billy can think of. This may suggest a general attitude of homophobia that will make Kelvin's coming out difficult.

Part of the Family: Jesse takes everyone  out on his yacht.  Scotty complements the family on how close they are,  His own dad is in prison.  Jesse offers to be his Daddy, and hugs him.  Eli never once hugged Keefe.  Of course, it's just an act; Scotty waggles his tongue at Gideon over Jesse's shoulder, a vulgar gesture similar to what Keefe experienced at the sports bar.  Wait -- is he teasing Gideon, or offering to have oral sex with him?

Is it all an act?  Scotty seems to like being part of the family.  The background song tells him: 

The days are getting brighter – the sunlight feels like gin.

Juices punch and cider shiver deep within

You don’t have to be alone, when we’re having so much fun.

Don’t be alone

The Prayer Circle: Just before the Easter service (17,000 people in the Salvation Center, six million world wide), Eli, the siblings, their partners, and Martin have a prayer circle, Kelvin/Keefe are holding hands and praying.  Scotty is holding Keefe's hand and glaring.  Why isn't he standing next to Gideon, his "friend"? 

I Have to Be a Man:  We see a few moments of Levi's Christian rock number, then switch to Kelvin leading the teens in their song-and-dance.    Keefe, working security in the bleachers, seems to be making an "I love you" gesture. 

Meanwhile, Gideon is in the bathroom, throwing up, and Judy rejects Eli's offer of singing during the offertory.

Cut to Judy's dressing room.  She criticizes BJ for asking if she's ok.  He counters that he is not even religious, but he has always been there for her.  She continues to berate him for attempting emotional support until he's had enough and leaves: "I have to stand up for myself.  I have to be a man." He starts crying and runs away. Judy throws her engagement ring after him.  .

"What is a man?" is an ongoing question of the season.  It was discussed in Gideon's "welcome home" dinner.  Kelvin declares that he is "a man" frequently.  The definitions are contradictory: being muscular; controlling your emotions; being in charge; standing up for yourself; being heterosexual.  Maybe we'll get a resolution when the episode continues.

Guys doing it after the break.  Warning: explicit.

Miles Burris: Bodybuilder/footballer/family man "will come upon you." Plus some random dicks

 

Former football player Miles Burris broke into acting with roles as football players in Starwood and Safety, and a lot of buffed guys: Rip Hardcore in The Really Loud House,  Triple H in Young Rock, Huge Guy #1 in Gym Rat and Mr. America in Federation.

He played Lucifer's dudebro brother Jophiel in a 3-episode story arc on Lucifer.

In Season 2 of The Righteous Gemstones, he plays, God Squad bodybuilder Titus, who begins the decline and fall of Kelvin's God Squad cult.  He'd rather exercise than listen to a Bible story. When he is sentenced to a week in the tiger cage as punishment, he exclaims: "Retribution will come upon you, and I'll do the coming."

Sounds ok, dude, but I prefer oral

Miles discusses how he prepared for the role: by watching a lot of youtube videos about Christian muscle groups.  "They would lift their brothers and rip phone books."

Miles' instagram features lots of humorous reels poking fun at the buffed-guy experience.  They tend to be entirely heterosexist, assuming that the only reason guys work out is to get girls, but some of them are funny.

Miles of Miles after the break

"Clickbait": Misdirections, hidden agendas, secret alliances, a gay reporter, and Adam Grenier's dick

 The TV series is called Clickbait, which is ironic, because I clicked on the title to see what it was about, without remembering that Netflix tries to trick you: clicking on the icon starts the darn thing playing, instead of linking to more information, like every other streaming service.  

But it showed a birthday party, and a guy who I thought was Faly Rakotohavana of Unprisoned saying "This present is from me and Eric."  Obviously a gay couple.  So I kept watching

Scene 1:  It's an old lady's birthday, so the gift-givers are her adult children.  The only other male at the table is a middle-aged man, so Eric may be Faly's father rather than his boyfriend.  The short-blond-haired Pia gets very upset because the siblings were supposed to go together and buy Mom a bread maker, but they went behind her back and bought her a planter instead.  

Mom says that it's ok, she loves the planter, but Pia starts yelling at Eric and the young lady on the other side of the table, probably her sister: "You always do this!  You try everything in your power to destroy me!  This is the worst night of my life, and it's all your fault!"

"The planter is fine, dear..."

"This isn't about you!  It's about how those two hate me so much that they've sabotaged every plan I've ever made!"   She runs outside and screams in the middle of the street as a car pulls up.  Uh-oh, she's going to be kidnapped.

Cut to Pia walking through downtown Oakland, past a kissing gay couple.  Eric texts to see if she's ok: "Sure, I just need to get drunk and hook up to try to forget this awful night!"  She drops into a nightclub to dance crazily. 

Eric and Faly appear to see if she's ok.  Then they dance together.

Update: according to the IMDB, they are new characters played by Enzo Nazario and Kashmir Sinnamon.  The director just thought it was a good idea to cast lookalikes of Eric and Faly, and have them ask if she's ok minutes after Eric asks if she's ok.

 Scene 2:  Drunkenness accomplished, Pia goes into the nightclub restroom, sits on the toilet, and looks at a dating app -- with both men and women as possible matches.  She chooses Woody, age 36, .6 miles away.  Uh-oh, he's going to stalk her.

They make a date to get a drink right now.  She gets up, and -- splash! 

Scene 3: Home to bury the cell phone in rice.  She then takes some pills, eats yogurt marked "Elli," masturbates to porn, watches cute-cat videos....

Morning: driving to work, more pills, having to take over the phlebotomy for a nurse who can't find a vein: "Pia always gets me the first time," the cute patient Vincent, played by Jack Walton, tells her. I definitely don't want someone as unstable as Pia drawing my blood.  He offers her some crazy youtube videos, like "Ghost Dog Caught on Camera." 

Then a Vlogger shows a video she received of a guy holding a sign, "I Abuse Women."  If it gets 5,000,000 views, he's going to die.  Wait -- it's Eric, the guy from the head of the table last night!  I thought this was going to be about Pia being stalked by a hookup.

Scene 4: Pia tries to call Nick -- who the heck is Nick? -- but he's not picking up.  Then Sophie, either her mother or her sister, but she's in class all morning.  So she drives to the University of Oakland, where Nick works, and shows the video to Matt the Volleyball Coach.  "Did he come in this morning?"  Matt  checks: nope. 

Next stop: the Balfour school, where Sophie works.  Chased by the security guard, into the classroom where Sophie -- who was at the birthday party -- is lecturing on same-sex attraction in Twelfth Night.  

Sophie sees the video. "But I saw him leave for work this morning."  Ok, Nick is the one they were calling Eric last night, married to the sister, Sophie, with the teen or young adult as their son.  

Scene 5: Pia and Wife Sophie go to the police, where they are interviewed by Detective Amiri (Phoenix Raie, who becomes a main character).  More details: Eric/Nick is a physical therapist.  He took his bike to work. About the sign saying "I abuse women"?  "No idea.  Eric/Nick would never abuse anyone." Pia seems fully competent today.  Last night at the birthday party, she was full-on bipolar and probably schizophrenic.

They go home. Faly's character, Kai, and a teenager named Ethan are watching the video.  They say that everybody at their high school knows about it.  It's at 300,000 views!  Pia tells them "Under no circumstances click on the link." A few won't make a difference in five million, lady.

Left: Ethan is played by Camaron Engels

Scene 6: Pia goes back to her apartment and retrieves her cell phone from the rice.  Um...a message from Eric/Nick at 1:25 am. He's sorry about blowing up at the party, and there's something going on that they should talk about.  Wait -- Pia is the one who blew up, unless she's an unreliable narrator.

She flashes back to a few days ago, asking Eric/Nick if something is wrong: he's all quiet and brooding. 

More misdirection and some butts after the break