Hung Hungarian hunks: Eight Budapest bulges, Pecs penises, and Miskolc muscles

Budapest is only 244 km from Vienna, so if you're visiting Austria, there's really no excuse not to go -- the architecture is amazing, all of the art deco glitz of the old Austro-Hungarian Empire. 

St Stephen's Basilica, completed in 1905. 

Hungarian is a Finno-Ugric language, related to Finnish and Estonian, and rather difficult for English speakers. But everyone learns English in high school, so you should be able to get along with just a few phrases, like hol van a szauna, "Where is the sauna?"

Hungary doesn't have a great record on gay rights. Although public opinion is gradually moving forward, many Hungarians continue to believe that same-sex acts should be criminalized, and tv programs that "promote or portray" LGBT persons are prohibited.

Szeretnél filmet nézni, "Do you want to see a movie?"

Of course, there are some gay bars and saunas, and you can still be invited back to someone's room: Gyere a szobámba

The more adventurous can try urinal cruising.  Don't forget térdelj le, "get on your knees."

Budapest has an active bodybuilding scene.. Mekkora a kolbászod, "how big is your sausage?"

More pecs and penises after the break

Hacks: Disgraced comedian decides to turn lesbian, gay leather dude spirals, and there are some jokes. With bonus Devon Sawa

 

I've been avoiding the recommendation of Hacks, on MAX, because the icon shows two ladies in bikinis, and who wants to watch a tv show about computer hackers in bikinis?  But yesterday I casually looked through the episode list, and saw what looked like a black guy at a gay leather bar.  

Not many black guys into leather -- in years of going to the Faultline in West Hollywood, I only met one.  So maybe this show is worth checking out after all.

Turns out that the title is a misdirection. Hacks is an obsolete term for writers who churn out incompetent but popular trash,  In this case, the hack is Deb Vance (Jean Smart), a Vegas lounge lizard trying to revise her snarky 80s-style standup for a more sensitive generation.  Her head writer and confidant, Ava, had her own standup career cancelled after an insensitive tweet.  I'm reviewing the gay leather bar episode, 2.4, "The Captain's Wife."

Scene 1: At a dusty farm, Deb is filming an infomercial, selling strange-looking socks. Her bus driver, Weed, keeps turning on the air conditioning. Her photographer, Damien, notes that she forgot the American flag print. "Stupid f*king American flag."  Lots of presumably gay characters here: Weed is played by a very butch Laurie Mecalf, and Damien by Mark Indelicato.

Head writer Ava wants to stay behind during Deb's upcoming gig on a gay cruise, because she's afraid of water, and can't swim.   "You're going. Wear a life jacket."

And forget all the sensitive nonsense: Deb's going to do her old stuff, the classics.  "The gays get me." 

Scene 2: Swishy guys in a club bathroom gossipping and snorting cocaine. Marcus  (Carl Clemons-Hopkins, below) puts on a business suit: it's 7:00 am, and he has a breakfast meeting across town.  I remember staying at a sex club all night.  They put out a breakfast buffet at 6:00 am.  They ask him to stick around for his mental health.  He refuses, but he lets them score some of his addies (Adderall, a stimulant used to treat ADHD).

Scene 3: Boarding the cruise ship, Deb wonders why there are so many ladies in line. Famous comedian Margaret Cho, the last cruise's headliner, is just leaving. She tells Deb that the audience was mediocre, but the gay sex was great.

"Wait -- I thought this was a gay cruise."

"It is.  A lesbian cruise."

Uh-oh.  Gay men love Deb, but lesbians hate her.  She doesn't understand why. Ava suggests "the hundreds of thousands of jokes at their expense that you've told over the years."

Scene 4: At the cruise ship bar, Ava is approached by a grabby, hand-kissing, way over-eager lady horndog. She's not actually freaked out.  I wonder if she is a lesbian, too? Wikipedia lists a girlfriend and a boyfriend. 

Meanwhile, Deb calls her agent, Jimmy (Paul W. Downs), to complain about booking her on a lesbian cruise.   He's busy working on a residency -- a permanent casino gig.  "How about Terrible's Casino?"  "No way -- too far from the Strip."  

There actually was a Terrible's Casino, though I can't imagine why someone would choose that name.  It closed in 2020.

Next Deb chides Ava for having fun instead of writing some lesbian jokes.  "You speak lesbian, right?  Cause you're half?"  I don't know what that means. Maybe a lesbian mother and a straight father? 

Scene 5: Back in Vegas, Marcus, the gay leather bar guy, gets home to find two middle aged ladies on his couch. One is his mother.  "What are you doing here?" he asks angrily. "I told you I needed to get work done today." They came to pet his dog and upbraid him for spending all night at the club. He yells at them for trying to control his life.  

Scene 6: Ava is trying to dump someone's ashes into the ocean, when a lady approaches to flirt and ask her to the "She-ano Bar."   Cut to Ava getting ready, telling Deb about the Olympic athlete on board. Girlfriend going to get her some lady jocks.  She invites Deb to come along as her wing-person.  Nope, but Deb is willing to fix her outfit.

As they are bonding, Ava wants to know: with all her jokes about how terrible sex with men is, has Deb ever considered being with a woman?  "Nope.  I like men.  I wish I was gay, because it would be a hell of a lot easier."  Are you crazy, lady?  Let's start with your Sunday school teacher telling you that God hates you, and work our way forward.

Ava calls her out on her straight entitlement, and Deb agrees that it might not have been easier to like girls -- back when she was a kid in the 1960s. But she got a crush on John Lennon of The Beatles and never looked back.

"But why do you like men?"  I was asked that a lot, back when coming out meant a barrage of stupid questions. You like who you like, idjit. You don't have any control over it.

Ava concedes that "your sexuality is not a choice," but Deb still should try to figure out why she is straight.  "Maybe you aren't really attracted to men, you're attracted to their power." 

Scene 7: Convinced to try it out, Deb goes to the She-ano bar and cruises some lesbians.  The next morning, everyone at the breakfast buffet is friendly, and she has embraced lesbians as a potential audience: "They love women, and I'm a fabulous woman." 

Left: Former teen heartthrob Devon Sawa, whom Deb has sex with in another episode. 

Scene 8: Marcus at the club, dancing his butt off with his swishy friends He's dressed as a BDSM bottom, but it's not a leather bar, it's an old-style gay disco. 

He runs into Wilson -- according to wikipedia, his ex-boyfriend.  The breakup has resulted in his downward spiral.  He wanted to call and say "I love you," but he's blocked all of Wilson's social media profiles and deleted his number.  Wilson is concerned about his drug use, but doesn't want to get back together.

More Deb and a lot of Devon after the break

Adam's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 3: Jizz, penises, bodybuilders, and Duck Tales

This is a collection of hot or humorous photos of Adam Devine.  I've already posted almost all of Adam's dick and butt pics available, but not to worry, there are butts and dicks of other guys.

1. Multitasking by writing new jokes in the shower.

2. The fastest Adam has jizzed with a chick is seven seconds.  

I get it -- you want to finish as soon as possible.  With a guy, you can take your time. 

3. In Magic Camp, Adam plays a failed magician trying to re-ignite his career.  Aldis Hodge plays the father of one of the magic camp campers.

4. Get pumped in Ashland.

5.  Do you notice a pattern here?

6. In Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates, Kumail Nanjiali plays a masseur who performs a naked tantric massage on his female client.

More after the break.  Warning: explicit.

Gemstones Episode 3.9 : Baby Billy is bi, Peter plots revenge, and Kelvin and Keefe cuddle. With a Josh O'Connor bonus

Previous: Episode 3.8, Continued: Kelvin's tender bits, Chuck's butt, Peter's van, and coming out to the world

 Episode 3.9 seems rushed -- it could easily be three hours long.  The marital-problem and sibling-problem plots have been resolved, but we still have Uncle Peter, The Simkins, Dusty Daniels, and Bible Bonkers, and the writers have to find some way to tie them all together!

Title: "Wonders that Cannot be Fathomed, Miracles that Cannot be Counted." From Job 5,9, NIV.  Many terrible things have happened to Job, including physical ailments and the deaths of his children, but Eliphaz assures him that God can perform "wonders and miracles," and rescue him. We'll see what wonders and miracles God performs here.

Baby Billy is Bi:  Still trying to sell the siblings on his Bible Bonkers game show, Baby Billy (Walton Goggins, top photo), reveals he is friends with Dusty Daniels, the racing champ.  We cut to a scene of the two, plus famous actor Gene Hackman  (played by Kevin Murray) in Monte Carlo on New Years' Eve, 1999.  They're awaiting the Y2K bug, hugging, dancing, and dropping acid as if it's the end of the world.  

We cut to a bisexual after-party, with Dusty, Baby Billy, and Gene Hackman screwing and getting blow jobs, maybe from men, maybe from women -- hard to tell.  There's a male full frontal, but it morphs into a naked lady so fast that I can't get a screen shot, so I'll substitute Josh O'Connor's cock, left and below.

The theme song by Traci Lords is about finding a new love, or at least a new sex partner, implying that Baby Billy and Dusty Daniels are in this together:

You said you're lonely, you said you're blue

You lost your lover -- let me console you

If you surrender, you'll feel no pain

‘Cause I'm the master of this game

We zero in on the guys facing each other as they get blow jobs.  Baby Billy's partner is a woman, but Dusty's may be a man -- remember that he was established as bisexual back in Episode 3.2.

"Wait, " Jesse asks, "Did did you fuck Dusty Daniels?"

"I doubt it,  but you never know...we might have touched dicks. That's not the important part of the story."  The important part: he can talk Dusty Daniels into leaving his fortune to whoever wins at Bible Bonkers, the Gemstones or the Simpkins. 

So Kelvin came out to the family yesterday after years anguish, angst, self-doubt, backing-and-forthing, and annoyed viewers, and he still hasn't said the word.  Now Baby Billy comes out as bi with utter nonchalance.  Why couldn't he have said something to his nephew during Cousins' Night, or back in Season 1?

El Molino: We cut to a locust splatting on a windshield.  It's Uncle Peter and Chuck, driving the U-Haul full of explosives.  Peter has finally come up with a plan,  He doesn't specify what it is, but since it involves the Gemstones and explosives, it's not hard to figure out.  They're nearly out of gas, and the militia took all of their money, so they stop at El Molino, a real Hispanic supermarket with two locations in Charleston, to use the cash-counting machine.  

While Peter is inside, the U-Haul explodes!  He thinks that Chuck has been killed.

Out to the Family: The family gathers in Eli's parlor to watch a tv news report about Chuck's death.

Wait --when did the siblings stop hating their father?  Was a reconciliation moment cut?

 Notice that the guys are sitting on the right side of the room.  In four shots, Keefe moves from sitting a few inches away to leaning against the chair, his shoulder touching or almost touching Kelvin's thigh. They are so close that Kelvin can't move his hand or foot without bumping into him.

  They used to be very careful to avoid public displays of affection, holding hands under the table and forehead-pressing instead of kissing.  Now they casually cuddle in front of everyone, even family members who did not see the kiss.

They discuss the Bible Bonkers Family Feud-style game show.  The siblings will compete, but they need two more.  They were going to ask Chuck, a big Bible nerd, but he's dead, so it will have to be Karl and May-May.  

More Bible Bonkers after the break

"Pretty Dudes": Gay Asian erasure, Spiderman, a car hookup, and hamburger sex. All in11 minutes. With some pretty nude dudes

 I wanted to know how Carlin James, who is apparently straight, got cast on  Pretty Dudes, a webseries about a group of  gay guys sharing a house in West Hollywood and negotiating life, love, sex, and race.  He appears as CJ in four episodes.

Now the craziness begins. Amazon Prime lists 21 episodes, the IMDB 29, and Wikipedia 39, with different numbering and chronological order. Some titles appear in just one list. Some have been repackaged into other projects. You'll need an Excel spreadsheet to keep track of them all. 

But unless the titles have changed, only one of Carlin's episodes is streaming on Amazon Prime: 1.9, "All American Type."

Above photo: A show about gay guys, and the actors; nude photos are stuck behind paywalls.  So I just googled "Gay Asian actor"

Scene 1:  Hustler Jay (Tae Song) and photographer Zario (Brian Michael Nunez) are playing video games when a shirtless Spiderman approaches, announcing that he has super powers now, and can protect the queens.  How special, girlfriend.

Scene 2: Flashback to the day before. We hear Elijah (Carlin James) saying: "This is going to taste so good in my mouth.  I can't wait to shove it in there."  Psych!  He's talking about a hamburger.  Not a hot dog?

Gregory  (Leo Lam, left) enters from the kitchen and, annoyed, tells him to just eat it, but he continues making sexy sounds.  Wait --according to his page on the IMDB, Carlin plays CJ, but according to the tv series page...heck with it. 

Scene 3: Reality tv confessional room.  Model Sunji  (Yoshi Sudarno, left) confesses that he doesn't understand photographer Zario because he doesn't act gay.  But he'snot normal, so Sunji just tries to be a good friend.

Cut to photographer Zario getting ready for his first job "since the breakup," filming a podcast hosted by artist Kito (Chance Calloway). 

In 2024, Chance published Anatomical Iconography, featuring the Pretty Dudes paying homage to classic male nude art.  It sells for $43 on Amazon.  I had no idea the show as so popular.  How do fans figure out the episode confusion?

Scene 4: Model Sunji cooking shirtless.  He sees a spider and freaks out. 

More after the break

Adam's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 2: Gold's Gym, grapes, ben wa balls, and 69

This is a collection of hot or humorous photos of Adam Devine.  I've already posted almost all of his dick and butt photos, but not to worry, there are dicks and butts of other guys.

1. Bro, you don't have to be actually made of gold to join Gold's Gym.

2. Steve Howey, one of the gay terrorists in Game Over, Man

3. You think every guy wants a hickey, dude.

4. "Quick, make a funny face!  Maybe they won't notice where my hand is!"

5. In Captain Fail, Adam plays an unqualified, inept spaceship captain.  Jason Ritter plays his arrogant rival.

6. Adam always treats his fans like buddies or boyfriends.

More Adam after the break.  Warning: Explicit

Ten nude dudes from rejected reviews, from Matt Bomer to Tom Goodman-Hill

I find potential movies and tv shows to review on my streaming service recommendations, the social media of actors I follow, and if I have just completed a profile of someone, like Cory Chapman or Michael Provost, their work on the IMDB.  If the premise is interesting, or there are two guys together on the icon, I might just click "play," but usually there's some research involved.

Do the episode synopses mention a same-sex friendship or rescue?  Is there minimal man-woman kissing in the trailer?  Are there any beefcake or nude photos of the male cast members?  

Sometimes I collect nude photos for illustrations, and then decide against the review after reading a plot synopsis or Rotten Tomatoes score, or after watching for a few minutes.  The result is a folder full of naked guys from rejected reviews.  I hate to delete them, so I'm posting them for their aesthetic value.

1. Adam Rayner in Tyrant: An American family drawn into the politics of a fictional Middle Eastern nation.  A gay guy eventually comes out and finds a boyfriend, who is killed,  I don't do the Bury Your Gays trope.  Next!

2. I was planning a review of "The Unicorn and the Wasp," a Doctor Who episode with gay characters, so I searched for "Christopher Tennant." 

"Christopher Benjamin" popped up,  nude on stage doing The Fairy Queen. But the full-sized photo was behind a pay wall, so I tried someone else in the cast, Robert Burt.

Except this isn't Robert Burt the stage actor. The link goes to a set of pictures illustrating the works of poet Robert Hamberger, models unknown. 

3. Turns out that the Doctor I was looking for was actually played by David Tennant.  A new search on "David Tennant" yielded Harry Lawtrey in Industry.

The British drama about job applicants in a finance firm had two gay characters, but the opening sequences were boring, so no review.  Next!

4. A reader recommended The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare for its buddy-bonding and beefcake.  As of this writing it's in theaters only, so I scanned its cast list and found Hero Fiennes Tiffin -- great name -- which led me to The Loneliest Boy in the World.  The boy appears to be falling in love with a boy zombie.   But it's not available on any of my streaming services. Next!

5. Depressing disease-of-the-week medical dramas are usually a resounding "No!", but The Good Doctor had a gay character played by Noah Galvin, so I researched him.  A former Hasidic Jew, conflicted, confused, self-doubting, guilt ridden, who finally gets a boyfriend -- only to have him killed on the day they become engaged.  

Before I noped out of there, I found some nude photos of Noah Galvin's real-life boyfriend, Ben Platt

More nude dudes after the break

Adam's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 1: Forehead presses, anal poopers, divine dicks, an Oz salute, and Kermit the Frog

This is a collection of hot or humorous photos of Adam Devine.  I've already posted almost all of his dick and butt shots available, but not to worry, there are some dicks and butts of other guys. 

1. The "I lost my swimsuit in the ocean" excuse is getting old, buddy.

2. Adam's physique has been compared to Schwarzenegger's.  Not favorably, just compared.

3.  "I know he's not much to look at, but he makes me laugh." Girl, you’re looking in the wrong place .

.

4. Oh, for...three years of Kelvin/Keefe forehead presses, and now this!  Just kiss him, and save us all a lot of aggravation!

5. In The Out-Laws, Adam plays a hapless bank manager who butts heads with rival manager Dean Winters, here giving an Oz nude salute.

6. Adam's new commode, for turning bathroom time into fun time. It looks nice and all, but how do you poop?

More Adam after the break

Gemstones Episode 3.8, Continued: Kelvin's tender bits, Peter's van, Chuck's butt, and coming out to the world.

Previous: Episode 3.8: Is Peter a woman?  Are Kelvin and Keefe lovers?  Does Jesse dye his sideburns?

More Militia Squabbles: Under the highway overpass, the militia men get more chicken, this time from Fancy Nancy's, but the portions are still too small.  Plus they've accomplished none of their goals due to Peter's mismanagement.  Instead of Brotherhood of Tomorrow's Fires, referring to an Apocalypse that isn't happening, they're going to call themselves the Keepers of Yesterday's Monuments, to key into their interest in (Confederate) monuments.  

They kick Uncle Peter and Chuck out of the group, taking all of their money, but letting them keep the truck full of explosives.  

Top photo: The tender bits of Steve Zahn, who plays Uncle Peter.

Left: The tender bits of Lukas Haas, who plays Chuck Montgomery. 

Hating on Eli:  In the Executive Board Room, the siblings speak to Eli only through Baby Billy, expressing anger that he refused to pay the ransom.  

Judy: "You left us to die! Uncle Peter would have killed any one of us, or all three, or he'd just mutilate us and send you our body parts."

Kelvin specifies: "Nipples, penis, butthole shavings -- all our tender bits."  Interesting --the three body parts he finds erotic. We can also divide it up by sibling: Judy's nipples, Jesse's penis, Kelvin's butthole.  We all know that Kelvin is a bottom, so he's concerned about that.

Left: The tender bits of Adam Devine

Jesse states that he's always known that Eli doesn't love him, but he figured that it was all about the church.  But he was wrong -- it's all about the money.

Eli protests: it's not about the money.  It's always been about his children.  

Hah!  They're not buying it. 

Suddenly Eli is happy because the siblings are working together, cooperating, not competing.  If it takes hating on him for them to work as a team, fine.   

Showtime:  The Sunday of the siblings' return to the church.  Crowds waiting to greet them.  A woman holds a sign: "The Gemstone 3 -- we missed you."  The ticket booth announces: "The return of the Gemstone children -- praise be!"  At the ministers' meeting earlier in the season, the siblings tried the "We Three and Thee" catchphrase, with disastrous results.  Now the congregation is embracing The Three. 

In the hallway outside their dressing rooms, the siblings say goodbye to their partners.  Jesse/Amber and BJ/Judy kiss.  Keefe moves in for a kiss, but Kelvin blocks him with a forehead press.  Keefe looks very amorous, as if still caught up in the afterglow from whatever they did last night.  Kelvin looks apologetic: "Sorry, dude, not in front of my family and the gossipy church staff."  

This scene received a lot of misdirection in the trailers.  First you didn't see who Kelvin was saying goodbye to, so you would think it might be Taryn.  Then the lighting makes a square white patch appear on Keefe's face, as if he was injured during the rescue attempt.

Jesse signals "Showtime!", and the siblings join him to walk down the hall to the stage.  Amber at the other end of the hallway, waiting for the partners to join her in the sanctuary. Keefe and BJ stand there, watching.

Suddenly Kelvin backs up, then turns around and walks quickly back to Keefe.  What's going on?  He's holding his dressing room key -- maybe he forgot something?  He wraps his arm around Kelvin's shoulders, slams him forcefully against the wall, and kisses him.  We cut to BJ grinning, and Judy grabbing at Jesse's arm in surprise. 

 In the second take, or maybe a second kiss, the dressing room key is gone, and Kelvin has moved his hand to Keefe's face. 

They break, and Kelvin walks back to the siblings, grinning, pleased with himself.  Keefe looks proud of him, too.   Jesse and Judy give him congratulatory grins.  He adjusts his glasses, as if to say "Well, that's that."  

More after the break

Dead Boy Detectives: Ghost buddies, one gay, one bi, solve afterlife mysteries. With Luke Gage and WW1 soldier bonus

 

A growling, snarling World War I soldier -- played by Chris Pereira -- chases two teenage boy ghosts through the British Museum.  The intellectual Edwin surmises that his gas mask is cursed: they'll have to destroy it to restore him to wholeness, so he can go on to the afterlife.  They'll need the Minor Arcana, Volume 4, but the athletic Charles can't find it in his magic bookbag.  

With the ghost-monster in hot pursuit, they run through a mirror, but end up in a hotel, not back in the office.  Edwin explains that it's hard to locate the right mirror-dimension when you're being chased by a gas mask monster.  

Flashback to the Dead Boy Detectives office a few days ago: A World War I nurse explains that she's been hanging aroud the British Museum long after her death to help the many lost souls from her era enter the afterlife.  But one has been cursed and turned into a monster.  She hires the boys to help him.

Left: Chris's butt

Back in the present, the boys rush through the hotel, find another mirror, and end up in their office.  The monster follows!   Charles manages to tear his gas mask off -- the snarling monster underneath spews blood all over and tries to stab him. Meanwhile Edwin finds the right book, says the incantation, and the gas mask bursts into flames.  Back in human form, the ghost is calm, but confused.  The boys tell him that he 's dead, still fighting a war that ended over 100 years ago. 

Left: Chris's cock.  I know he only appears in this episode, but where else are you going to see it?

Uh-oh, Death is coming to guide him to the afterlife.  The boys have to hide, or she'll take them, too!

That's a lot of world-building in five minutes, but it comes while the boys are being chased, assaulted, threatened, and zapped about, so it goes down easily.  

The Dead Boy Detectives, a paranormal take on the common British "boy detective" genre, appeared in a number of comics and limited edition graphic novels during the 1990s and 2000s, all taking place in Neil Gaiman's Sandman universe.  Edwin, the intellectual one, died in 1916, when some boarding school bullies tried to scare him by pretending to offer him as a sacrifice to Satan.  The spell worked, and he was sent to hell.  

He stayed until 1989, when some of the residents of hell escaped and laid waste to a boarding school. The athletic Charles was killed in the ruckus.  He would be going to the Sandman-world version of Heaven, but he decided to wait and hang out with his new ghost-buddy.  Now they are detectives, helping lost souls with unfinished business, lost memories, or curses that prevent them from moving on. They must keep a low profile and not perform much magic, to avoid detection from Death and an afterlife "Missing Souls" bureacracy.

Spoiler alert: In the comics, Edwin is gay, and Charles is bisexual.  They don't date each other, however: who said any two random gay/queer dudes must automatically be into each other? 

I watched the first episode of the tv series to see if the pair, now played by the considerably older George Rexstrew and Jayden Revri, were heterosexualized.

The answer after the break