"The Sandman": Season 2: What happened to the beefcake and gay romance? After watching, you'll need to see some cocks

 

We're watching Season 2 of The Sandman on Netflix, based on the 75-issue Neil Gaiman comic book series.  The Sandman, aka Morpheus and the Dream of the Endless, negotiates crises with humans, various magical beings, and his siblings, whose names all begin with D (Death, Destruction, Desire) and end with "of the Endless."  

1. In Season 1, the Sandman is an otherworldly creature, dark and mysterious, who rarely intrudes upon the human realm.  He spends 50 years naked in a bottle, staring at the humans as if they are a bizarre alien species.  In Season 2, he is a jaded aristocrat who hangs out in the human realm all the time, taking cabs and paying for things.

Or look at Lucifer: in Season 1, a seductive, dangerous being with motives and desires that are impossible for humans to comprehend.   In Season 2, an elderly British aristocrat who wants to sit on the beach with a cup of tea.

2. In Season 1, the Endless are responsible for the working of the human realm.  When Dream is captured, the world falls into chaos: millions of people fall asleep and can't wake up, and others can't fall asleep at all.  In Season 2, the Endless mostly engage in partying and pranks.  The only one we see doing any actual work is Death, who escorts people to the afterlife. 

3. Season 1 has high stakes. A nightmare is running rampant in the human realm, plus an unstable guy has acquired Dream's ruby of infinite power, and changes the world, with disastrous results.  In Season 2, there's some rumbling about a prophecy, but mostly it's episodic stories, like deciding who to give the keys to Hell to after Lucifer retires, or trying to track down Dream's ex-girlfriend from 10,000 years ago (who is not interested in getting back together).

4. In Season 1, there are many gay characters.  A gay couple in the first episode.  A lesbian couple in the second.  In Episode 6, two same-sex couples emerge among the six people stuck in a diner, when they are forced to tell the truth of their situation. Plus a heterosexual liason involving job applicant Mark (Laurie Brewer, left) and the lady in charge of the company.

More after the break.  Caution: Explicit

"Wednesday": The Top 13 Hunks and Hunkoids of Nevermore Academy, some gay, some with d*cks

 

The second season of Wednesday, featuring the boarding-school adventures of the Addams Family girl, has dropped on Netflix.  Again there seem to be no gay characters.  Netflix is usually good at LGBT representation; I'm guessing that it's the Charles Addams estate that wants Wednesday's world to be gay-free.  

But there are a number of gay actors, and a variety of hunks and hunkoids to add to the queer enjoyment of the series.

1. Hunter Doohan as Tyler, son of the local sheriff and secretly a hyde (werewolf).

Hunter's backside.

Hunter is gay, and married to Fielder Jewett.

2. Isaac Ordonez as Pugsley, Wednesday's younger brother, a new student at the school.  He's also a fashion model who wears multiple rings, so I assume that he's gay.

3. Georgie Farmer as Ajax Petropolus, a gorgon student at Nevermore Academy.  His social media doesn't mention a girlfriend, so....

4. Luis Guzman (right) as Wednesday's father Gomez, who gets a plotline in Season 2.  

Short and chubby, two selling points, if he's available.

5. Haley Joel Osment, the "I see dead people" kid, as a serial killer.  I've always assumed that he's gay, but Google AI says he's straight (or rather "not gay").

6. Moosa Mostafa as Eugene, Wednesday's ally, who has a crush on her roommate. 

More after the break

Ilia Bolshaya: Collegiate swimmer with a 3.97 GPA and a huge sausage. With nude swimmers and why gay men don't major in science

 

The nude celebrity subreddit posted a photo of Ilia, who is walking into the room with his cock swinging.  I figured he was an actor, but research reveals that he was a college swimmer.  Quite a prestigious one, with a lot of awards.

But the subreddit took him down right away, so they don't consider him celebrity enough.

I'm torn.  Are a lot of swimming awards enough?

I was convinced by learning that fraternity initiations at his college often involve stripping the guy, so there are a number of nude photos around (left and below). 

 But I'll compromise by changing Ilia's last name (Bolshaya means "huge" in Russian, as in большая сосиска, "big sausage").  

I'll also omit the names of his colleges, so he can't be tracked down easily (searching for "Ilia" and "swimmer" doesn't do it).

Ilia is originally from Moscow.  As a teenager, he competed in swimming events across Europe, including this one in Regensburg, where I spent a quarter abroad during my sophomore year. 

He graduated from a gymnasium (high school) in 2016, and enrolled in college in the U.S., where he majored in biology.

He was on the swim team, of course.  His favorite dish was sushi, and his favorite non-swimming activity was reading.

He joined a fraternity where they typically strip candidates.

In 2020, Ilia received his B.S. in Biology, with a 3.97 GPA, and went to graduate school in Biomedical Engineering.  As of the summer of 2025, he is a Ph.D. candidate, researching the intersection of pharmacogenomics, artificial intelligence, and mathematical modeling.  He also has an internship in quantitative pharmacology, and five publications.

Ready for the nude photo?  After the break.  Caution: Explicit.

"Caravaggio's Shadow": As time goes by, the gay Baroque painter becomes more and more straight. With nude Italian men

When my generation was growing up, teachers, reference books, and movies always presented historical figures as absolutely, undeniably straight.  My paperback copy of The Importance of Being Earnest said that Oscar Wilde was imprisoned "on scandalous charges."  I asked the teacher what those charges were. She said she didn't know.

In the 1980s, we started to uncover the "lies, secrets, and silence," reveal the gay men and lesbians of the past who had been denied us.  We collected them like beacons of hope in a homophobic world: Plato, Aristotle, Walt Whitman, Oscar Wilde, Emily Dickinson, Shakespeare, Gertrude Stein, Michelangelo...and Caravaggio (1571-1610), who introduced the Baroque style of bright, naturalistic color to Italy, who scandalized the art world by using thieves, beggars, and prostitutes as models for religious-themed paintings.  And who was gay.

Everybody in West Hollywood went to Caravaggio (1986), by filmmaker Derek Jarman (who announced that he was gay later that year). We were expecting a lot of cute Italian guys (there are some), and hoping that they would be nude (no). 

We were also hoping that Caravaggio would be presented as gay, but resigned to the likelihood that he would be straightwashed: turned heterosexual, or mostly heterosexual (a few men as trivial dalliances as he pursued the Woman of His Dreams).  

He was straightwashed.

As a child and teenager, the artist (Dexter Fletcher, left), is the victim of sexual abuse by Catholic clergy.  This "turns him" gay, or rather pansexual. 

As an adult (Nigel Terry), he is a decadent figure like something out of a Pasolini film, consorting with men and women, although he prefers women.   He seduces both Raduccio (Sean Bean) and his girlfriend Lena.  But Raduccio is just a dalliance; the heterosexual romance is True Love.  Then Raduccio kills Lena, and a distraught Caravaggio kills him.  Gay lives must always end in tragedy.

More after the break.  Caution: Explicit.

Zach Galligan: The "Gremlins" guy ruined my childhood, sort of. Plus his dick, Michelangelo's David, and Bubba's bulge

The spring of 1984 was dark and dismal, endless days and weeks and months of trying and failing.  A degree in English and Modern Languages with professors who said "You can do anything you want. Go into advertising, or public relations, or book publishing."  A hundred resumes sent to advertising agencies, public relations firms, and publishing houses all over the country, with no answer or "no openings."  By the end of May, my friends had all gone home for the summer or graduated, so I walked the streets of Bloomington alone, looking up at the cross on the tower of a distant church and wondering if there was anything ahead but dead ends.

On the evening of June 15th, I saw Gremlins,  starring 20-year old Zach Galligan as a teenager who accidentally feeds his mogwai after midnight, thus turning it into a rampaging monster.

 The movie itself was of minimal interest. Zach may have had a buddy-bonding friendship with fellow mogwai enthusiast Corey Feldman on the way to winning the Girl of His Dreams.

It was Zach's jaw-dropping handsomeness that convinced me that there was some good left in the world, leading to a job in Texas and eventually to West Hollywood.

During the next years and decades, I didn't learn much more about Zach.  I never saw him in any other movie or tv show, except maybe a 1998 episode of Star Trek: Voyager, where I didn't recognize him.

There was an occasional photo or reference on one of the gay celebrity websites that we had back in the days of America Online and Myspace.  They revealed that: 

1. Zach was tied up in a lot of his movies.  This shot appeared over and over.  

And:

2. He was gay in real life.  I never questioned this.

A few days ago, I noticed a run on my earlier profile of Zach Galligan, so I started researching him for a new profile.   

First, n*de photos.  

A butt pic was easy.

A frontal, a little harder to find.  I don't think this is him.

More after the break.  Caution: Explicit.

Has "Phineas and Ferb" gotten more gay-friendly since 2007? With bonus Adam Devine butt and Malcolm McDowell dick

I watched a few episodes of the Disney Channel's Phineas and Ferb when it first aired in 2007-2009, but was turned off by Mechanics Today vibe and the incessant heteronormativity.

The premise: 10-year old stepbrothers Phineas and Ferb (Vince Martella, Thomas Brodie-Sangster, top photo) spend their summer vacation creating technological marvels like time machines and space ships, thereby impressing their male friends and girlfriends (each has a heterosexual crush).  Their older sister Candace tries to tattle (either she's worried about their safety or she's just evil), but by the time Mom gets there, the elaborate devices have reverted into harmless toys; Mom therefore suspects that her daughter is suffering from a psychosis.  

Candace has a heterosexual crush, too: Jeremy, played by Disney teen Mitchel Musso, who has mental health issues.    

Meanwhile, their pet platypus, Perry (Dee Bradley Baker), has adventures as a super-spy.  Under the orders of Major Francis Monogram and his dimwitted assistant, he thwarts the plans of the evil Dr. Doofenschmirtz.  Most involve wacky evil-scientist inventions, making Doof and Perry sort of mirror images of Phineas and Ferb. 

In four seasons, there were no gay characters, although TV Tropes notes some Ho-Yah (queer codes used as jokes) shipping Doof/Perry and the bully Buford and his victim Baljeet.   

Showrunner Dan Povenmire said that there were some LGBT persons in the universe, but "it's nobody's business" who they are.  Got it, heterosexual romance gets infinite space, but gay people must be invisible.  Can't have kids finding out that they exist.  

In June 2025, ten years after the last Phineas and Ferb, a new season dropped.  Gay characters have appeared on Craig of the Creek, Duck Tales, Big City Greens, The Hollow, The Bravest Knight, Jellystone, Kippa and the Age of the Wonderbeasts, Kid Cosmic, The Ghost and Molly McGee, and many others.  Surely Phineas and Ferb can have a gay friend without traumatizing kids for life.

Especially since voice actors Vincent Martella (Phineas) and Maulik Pacholy (Baljeet) are gay.

I reviewed two 2025 episodes.

"Sleepover":  The main five kids and Candace and her friends are having two separate sleepovers in the same house on the same night.

The kids' sleepover activities: a scary movie in a geodesic dome with a popcorn floor.

Candace wants to bust her brothers, but her friends sing about the things they could do instead: play truth or dare, wear monster masks, and so on.

More after the break

Miles Heizer: Gay and nearly-gay roles, a real-life girlfriend and several boyfriends, plus a penis and Guy's Bar

I am certainly going to visit a bar full of  guys, even if it's spelled wrong.

Or is Guy the owner, so it's Guy's bar?

I'm going either weay, but I'm not sure if Miles Heizer wants to come along.

You probably remember Miles from Parenthood (2010-2015), the sitcom with Craig T. Nelson and his four children and eight grandchildren.  It was like Modern Family without the diversity.  Miles played grandson Drew Holt: shy, sensitive, artistic, but still girl-crazy, with several girlfriends fighting over him.

The Greenville, Kentucky native was born in 1994, and began acting in 2005, with many guest spots before Parenthood, plus Rails & Ties (2007), about a young boy who survives a catastrophic train crash, and Rudderless (2014), about a father grieving over his dead son.

He had some gay-positive roles after Parenthood.

In Love, Simon (2018), he plays Cal, who the closeted Simon mistakenly identifies as Blue, another closeted teen who posts about his experiences online.  Cal is not, but he offers an ear if Simon wants to talk, suggesting that he may be bisexual, or at least an ally.

In 13 Reasons Why (2017-20), which spends three seasons explaining why a high school girl killed herself, Miles plays Alex Standell, who kisses his boyfriend Timothy Granaderos, after they are named prom kings, and everyone in the school applauds. 

He also gives us a n*de scene.  Wait, that's a woman you're on top of.  What gives?

According to Wikipedia, he dates Jessica in Seasons 1-3, then Winston Williams (Deaken Bluman) and Charlie St. George (Tyler Barnhart) in Season 4. 

Wait -- AZ Nude Men says that Miles is  kissing Timothy Granaderos (left), but the fan wiki says Charlie St. George.  Granaderos plays Montgomery de la Cruz, a series antagonist who hooks up with guys, but isn't actually gay. 

Take your pick.  

After 13 Reasons, Miles appeared in two podcast series, Undertow: Narcosis and The Sisters.

He also starred in The Ex-Husbands (2023): a Manhattan dentist (Griffin Dunne of American Werewolf in London gets dumped by his wife, so he flies out to Tulum to crash his son's bachelor party. Whoops, that son gets dumped, too. Miles plays another brother, who is gay and therefore doesn't have to worry about marriage (um...gay marriage happens?)

It gets weird after the break

"Superman" (2025): You'll believe a man can queerbait

 

I don't usually review movies that are playing in theaters, but we just saw Superman (2025).  I went in with an internet full of complaints about "wokeness," so I expected a lot of LGBTQ representation.  Here's what I got:

The Wokeness: There are some nonwhite people around.  Big deal.

The Plot: The tyrannical leader of Boravia (mostly Russia, a little Israel) wants to invade neighboring Jarhanpur (mostly Palestine, a little Ukraine), and promises to make Lex Luthor  (Nicholas Hoult, left) king of half the country if he helps.  So he sells them $80 billion in arms for cheap. 

But Lex's main goal is to discredit and hopefully kill Superman (David Corenswet), because he doesn't like aliens, because he's envious of Supe's popularity, because...well, even he isn't sure. He's a movie villain, it's his job.  

Lex has a vast number of high-tech resources to help with the discrediting/murder:

1. The Engineer, who can fill your lungs with nanobots so you suffocate.

2. A prison in an unstable pocket universe, where he keeps political prisoners and people who criticized him on social media.

3. An interdimensional rift that can take down whole cities.

4. A lot of Superman clones.

5. Super-genius employees played by Terence Rosemore and Stephen Blackehart.

6. A monstrous kanju that grows to Godzilla-size and breathes fire.

Left: Blackehart's d*ck

7. The message that Jor-El and Lara sent along from Krypton. Supe always thought that they asked him to help the people of Earth, but they actually told him to rule Earth, and massacre anyone who resisted.  This is real, not fake, and when it gets into the media, people reject poor Supe.  Why do they care about the career his parents planned for him?  My parents wanted me to work in the factory.  

Supe has a number of allies this time around:

1. Food cart guy Malik Ali (Dinesh Thyagarajan), who jumps into a crater to help the injured superhero. Lex kidnaps him.

2. Krypto the Superdog.  Lex kidnaps him, too.  Spoiler alert: The dog doesn't die.

More after the break

Matthew Underwood: The "Zoey 101" It-Boy Logan plays himself again and again...and again, posts dick pics. With bonus Noah Beck

 

The internet was all agog over pictures of Matthew Underwood's penis.  I wasn't impressed.  First, the guy doens't even show his face.  Second, he rubs me the wrong way.  I can't quite remember how.

Oh, yeah.  It's that annoying smugness.  It's one thing to be heterosexual -- lots of guys are.  It's another to brag about it.  "I'm so entirely heterosexual, I'm the most heterosexual of all heterosexuals, I can heterosexualize anywhere, anytime.  Every girl wants to be with me, and every guy wants to be me."

It's not just his character: this photo came directly from Matt's Instagram, posted in 2025.

Born in "The Sunshsine State of Florida" in 1990, Matt began acting at the age of eight, and appeared on screen in some guest spots before hitting paydirt in Zoey 101 (2005-08).

Zoey (Jamie Lynn Spears) and her brother Dustin (Paul Butcher) are students at the prestigious Pacific Coast Academy, filmed on location in Malibu instead of on a sound stage.  Her coterie includes:

1. Logan (Matthew Underwood),  the fabulously wealthy son of a famous actor, an it-boy who is basking in the absurdly exaggerated longing of every girl who sees him.  Eventually he settles down with the nerd Quinn (see, looks aren't everything).

2. Chase (Sean Flynn, left), in love with Zoey but trapped in the "friend zone."  Eventually, she realizes that she is in love with him, but then she leaves him again.

2. Michael (Christopher Massey, right), mostly in charge of advising Chase to admit his feelings, although he eventually gets a girlfriend of his own.

Matt reveals that just after Zoey, when he was 19, he was sexually harassed and then assaulted by his agent. The trauma prompted him to move away from Los Angeles and retire from acting.

He returned in 2017 to direct and star in two tv pilots with Sean Flynn, playing themselves: The Magic Studio, about kids who find magic rings, and The Golden Stars, about missing award statues. 

And some shorts: Time Hoppers (2018), Matt and Sebastian Cabanas in silly costumes.

The Alien (2019): Matt (playing himself) and some girls meet a classic grey.

The Unicorn Sisters (2019): Matt helps some grieving girls write poetry. 

Kind of full of yourself, aren't you, Matt?

He appears with some girls in Remi (2021) and with the entire Zoey gang in the Jamie Spears music video Follow Me (2020).

Noah Beck plays an alternative Logan.  No, I don't think that the penis is real.

Matt returned to the Zoey universe in Zoey 102 (2023): A struggling 32 year old film producer, Zoey is asked to be maid of honor at Quinn and Logan's wedding.  It took them 14 years to get married?  She also resolves her feelings for Chase.  After 14 years, he's moved on, girlfriend.

Matt's social media is mostly generic, landscapes, weird jokes, boating, pictures taken with the Zoey gang. He is currently single, his last heterosexual relationship (that he told fans about) in 2015. 

Ready for the cock pics?  #1: Impressive size, but the physique is nondescript, and dude doesn't even show his face.

#2: Full arousal.  This must be from a different session, since he's wearing pants.

3. I censored a silly emoji.

Not bad, but I'd rather see Noah Beck's abs.

See also:  Shane Harper: the "Good Luck Charlie" and "God's Not Dead" guy shows his dick surprisingly often

Nathan Kress, Freddie from ICarly, grown up. Is he still homophobic? Is he still shy about showing his dick?

"Malibu Rescue": Ricardo Hurtado hits the beach for a retro 1980s nerd-jock battle, with bonus lifeguard photos