Mr. Bigstuff: Short guy with big stuff isn't into ladies, has a gay boss and a psycho brother. With six big reveals and a lot of butts

 

I don't have a lot of  luck with Britcoms.  The references have me scurrying to the internet, the jokes a little too droll, and I can never tell if the actions are meant to be sitcom exaggerations or over-the-top bizarre.  But I'm checking out Mr. Bigstuff, which just dropped on Hulu, because it stars Ryan Sampson, gay in real life and 5'4". 

"Bigstuff" is one of those culturally specific references.  There's no definition online. Does it mean that the guy is important, a "big shot," or that he's a "big dog," gifted beneath the belt?

Episode 1, Scene 1: Glen (Ryan Sampson) and his girlfriend parking in the car outside a horribly decrepit office building.  She consoles him for being unable to perform.  It's been a long time.  Maybe he's not into you, lady.  Or not into ladies at all.  But they're still getting married in 100 days.  

Scene 2:  Glen at his horrible, soul-destroying job as a carpet salesman.  He's pointing out some boring heterosexual stuff to a boy-girl couple, when the Manager comes by.  He asks for a promotion.  In response, the Manager pretends to shoot him.  He falls to the ground, "dead."  I guess that's a no?  

Left: The Manager is played by Adrian Scarborough, who I thought was in The Thursday Murder Club.  He's not, and I deleted my review due to low pageviews.

Meanwhile, a hand smokes cigarettes and drinks beer.  Eventually it turns into a burly bloke, who bursts into the carpet store and asks the receptionist if she's seen "this geezer," displaying a photo of a schoolboy. In the U.S. a "geezer" is old. She calls the Manager.  The situation escalates to Burly Guy choking him and demanding to know where the "geezer" is.

Glen hides behind some display cases, then runs out and drives home.  

Left: Burly Guy is played by Danny Dyer, who is straight but played a gay character in Borstal Boy (2000) and the father of a gay teen on East Enders.

Scene 3: At home, the Girlfriend from Scene 1 is lying in bed.  She explains that there was a gas leak at work, so everyone had to leave, and he explains that he just popped in to get his sandwiches.  I expect that there's a man hiding in the closet. Nope: "Get in here, you c*nt."  In the U.S., that term is extremely offensive, and it refers only to ladies, but I think here it's just a mild expletive, like "dope." 

Left: Glenn's butt, from Plebes.

They discuss boring heterosexual stuff as Glen undresses (no beefcake).  She tries to get him to do sexy stuff, but he refuses.  You're in bed with your lady at 10:00 on a workday.  Why would you not, unless you're not into ladies?

Next Glen drinks something from a water glass by the bedside, then starts to gag.  Girlfriend apologizes -- she didn't expect him to drink it (then why was it on his side of the bed?).  They're both very upset.  

We never learn what it was. Maybe Metamucil, or a lady supplement?

She rushes downstairs to fetch him some tea -- and finds the Burly Guy sitting on the couch!

Scene 4:  Glen throws the disgusting liquid at him, and Girlfriend runs for the pepper spray.  "You can't be here!  Get out of my house!"

"I just want to talk, Glen!" he exclaims.  

Girlfriend; "You know each other?"  Big Reveal #1

"No.  Not really...I mean, I used to."  This upsets Burly Guy, and he leaves.

Left: Burly Guy's butt, from Plebes.

Scene 5: Back at work, everyone is gossiping about what happened earlier "with that geezer and the Manager."  Is that a common phrase in Britain for someone under age 80?   A woman is upset that she wasn't around to see him "get shanked."  In the U.S., "shanked" means being stabbed.  

The Manager calls Glen, crying: "You need to get here immediately! I'm sorry -- I didn't know!  I can't do this!"  Burly Guy comes onto the phone and tells him: "Dagenham, by the water, where he died.  You know the spot."  Darn, I thought they were old boyfriends.

More after the break

Gerran Howell: The hot doc from "The Pitt" plays a vampire, troubled teens, and Ozma's boyfriend, speaks Welsh, drops his trousers.

If you've been watching The Pitt on MAX, about emergency room staff and patients, you've certainly noticed Dennis Whitaker.  The fourth-year medical student moved to Pittsburgh from a farm in Broken Bow, Nebraska, which causes a lot of derision from the big city doctors, and got a degree in theology before going to med school. Don't you need a lot of courses in biology and chemistry?   He gets squelchy scenes where he is splashed with the body fluids squirting out of patients, but also heart-tugging scenes where he establishes an emotional connection with a dying patient.

So far Dennis hasn't expressed a romantic interest in anyone, although fans on the Pitt Reddit eagerly pair him with Nurse Kim, because she offered to find him new scrubs after a patient urinated on him, or the wife of a dying burn victim whom he comforts.

Plus when Dr. Robby (Noah Wyle) is treating the victims of a mass shooting, he flashes back to treating COVID victims and the death of his beloved mentor and has a panic attack.  Dennis helps him out, and the two hold hands.  About 1,700 fan stories on Archive of Our Own move the relationship forward into romance (and explicit sexual activity).

Left: Artistic interpretation of Noah Wyle. 

That's enough to warrant researching the actor, Gerran Howell.

Well, being 5'7" and exceptionally cute helps.

Turns out that Gerran is not Nebraskan, he's Welsh, born in Barry a resort town near Cardiff, in 1991.  He's bilingual in the Welsh language, and got to speak it as a fan service during Season 2 of The Pitt.

Nice bulge, mate.

After attending Barry Comprehensive School, Gerran studied at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts.  His first on-screen roles came in 2006, in a PSA about the dangers of swimming in the Welsh Reservoir and the short Mummy's Boy, about a boy traumatized by his brother's death. 

Next he starred in Young Dracula (2006-2013), as the teenage Vlad, The Chosen One (of course) who moves from Transylvania to Wales with his family.  According to the episode synopses, he may have gotten a few gay-subtext buddy-bonds along with the usual assortment of girlfriends.  

The role brought Gerran a lot of fame in Britain: talk-show interviews, cooking on Blue Peter, a tutorial on how to spot a vampire.

In The Spartacle Mysteries (2011-15), everyone over age 15 is zapped into a parallel dimension.  It's up to the kids to survive -- and bring them home. So, was it a one-time deal, or does everyone who turns 16 zap over?  Gerran plays Ernesto, the leader of a rebel gang who doesn't want the adults back: the world is better and safer without them.  He gets a girlfriend.

Emerald City, the dreary, depressing take on the Wizard of Oz mythos (2016-17), stars .Oliver Jackson-Cohen (left) as Dorothy Gale's boyfriend.  Gerran plays Jack (based on Jack Pumpkinhead), who helps Tip escape from the witch Mombi, and falls in love with her after she turns into a girl. But she's not into him.  Being into trans women makes him a LGBT ally.

Gerran has many more acting roles, everything from Doctor Who to Xenoblade Chronicles.  Many have gay interest:

More after the break

Justin Ellings: Kyle from the awful clown episode of "Modern Family" plays Corey Haim and Sean Giambrone, shows his physique and his d*ck

 

In Modern Family Episode 11.1 (2019), high school vice principal Cam invites a group of "wayward teens" to his house to gain their trust by being the "cool mentor."  Things go wrong when his beloved, awful clown figurine goes missing, and he accuses them of stealing it, horrifying the viewers and his husband Mitchell with his increasingly vituperative insults: "You're trash! You're garbage!  Everyone has given up on you!"   Finally Mitchell can't stand it anymore, and announces that they are innocent: he threw out the figurine because it was incredibly ugly.  

Then Cam comes clean -- the kids are actually the high school drama club, playing wayward teens to force Mitchell to confess.  

I'm not happy with the plotline.  Seeing Cam lash out was rough.  And why would  you destroy something that your husband valued?  Something that was on prominent display in the living room?  But it was worth it to see drama club member Kyle, played by Justin Ellings.

19 years old when he filmed the episode.

A Short Guy, 5'6"  Forget the five feet; tell me more about the six inches. 

Endless beefcake photos on his Instagram and Facebook pages. 

Including one where he squirts.

Interestingly, Justin's official website shows a map of his location (so you can stalk him?).  He's on Cahuenga just north of Lexington, near my old gym in West Hollywood.  Cue the nostalgic reminiscences of my years in the gay mecca.

Justin grew up in Milwaukee, where he starred in The Music Man (2011) and The Sound of Music (2012) at the Skylight Opera Theatre Center.  He graduated from Arrowhead High School at age 16, then moved to L.A. to pursue his acting career.

His first major acting role was on the Nickelodeon teencom Sam & Cat (2013): he played Jarvis, one of the kids that the former ICarly star and her girlfriend babysit.  According to the fan wiki, Jarvis is gay.

I doubt that a Nickelodeon show would have a canonical gay character, but even if it was subtext, it's a great beginning.  Unfortunately, Justin's characters in other tv programs, on Girl Meets World (2015). Game Shakers (2017), American Housewife (2018), and Wandavision (2021), don't appear in the plot synopses. 

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Justin is primarily interested in stunt work.  He has 33 stunting credits listed on the IMDB, including episodes of The Middle, Young Sheldon, 13 Reasons Why (where he was presumably Miles Heizer's butt double), 9-1-1, Stranger Things, and The Fabelmans.

 He was Sean Giambrone's stunt double on 19 episodes of The Goldbergs.

More after the break. Caution: Explicit

Shayne Topp: Nickelodeon teen, Barry's buddy, bodybuilder, sketch comedian who pretends to be gay and have a massive d*ck. We'll see.

 

The Goldbergs (2017-23) was a nostalgic look at showrunner Adam F. Goldberg's childhood experiences in the 1980s, with Sean Giambrone (here being murdered in the shower) as a stand-in for Adam.  I wasn't a fan: most of the experiences involved attempts to meet, impress, or win The Girl of His Dreams.  But it aired in the same block with Speechless and Modern Family, in the days before we went to all-streaming services, so we had no choice but to watch.  

I liked Adam's older brother Barry (Troy Gentile), a muscular wrestler, and in Season 2, the gay-vague hippie-chill Matt (Shayne Topp), who struggles become his friend and join the Jenkintown Posse.  As far as I remember, he never displayed any heterosexual interest, and he had a queer-coded attraction to Barry.

Plus he was exceptionally cute,  and at 5'7", he was a member of the Short Guy Brigade.  Who could ask for anything more of actor Shayne Topp?

How about a muscular physique?

And other parts of interest.

Into tie-up games.

And a reader.

Born in 1991 in Florida, Shayne played the unrequited crush of a Yu'pik girl in Dear Lemon Lima (2009).  He was a regular in the teen variety show So Random (2011-12), and appeared in episodes of ICarly, Henry Danger, Sam & Cat, and Fred: The Show.  He also did some fashion and n*de modeling. But he is best known as a sketch comedian.

More after the break. Caution: Explicit.

Gemstones Episode 2.8: Baby Billy sees a ghost, Judy becomes a mom, and Kelvin gets ***.up. Plus nude short guys

Title:  "The Prayer of a Righteous Man."  James 5:16: "The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much." Whose fervent prayer is going to avail some miracles?

This ain't the 1970s: In 1993 Memphis, Junior and his dad Glendon are watching midget wrestling featuring "heel" Chris Blanton, aka "Little Fabio"

Glendon thinks that it's the wave of the future, but Junior complains that it's old-fashioned.  He wants to liquidate their gambling operation to raise money for some big wrestling promotions:"This ain't the 1970s.  Wrestling has changed. You need big money to go after big talent." Glendon nixes the idea.

Next complaint: Glendon was going to leave Junior the business when he retired, but he never retires:  "Look at me, Daddy: I'm going gray with my dick in my hand."   Look at him, with his jaunty hand on hip, similar to after spending the night with Eli earlier this season.  He's got some femme mannerisms going on  I'm looking at a middle-aged gay man.

Glendon wants to know how he can retire when his idiot son has terrible ideas and does everything wrong?  "You hurt my feelings," Junior exclaims, starting to cry.  The boy gets hurt feelings a lot, doesn't he?   Glendon mocks him.  But he agrees that he's been holding on too long: let's liquidate the gambling operation.

We cut to Glendon being upset while Junior loads the slot machines into a truck for Mr. Dukare (played by Dakare Chatman, who was playing a teenager in Season 1.) 

Later, Junior counts the money, annoucing that they will triple it with their new wrestling promotions.  

But Glendon has other ideas. Brandishing a gun, he orders: "Handcuff yourself to that inversion table and shut the fuck up."  He then moons Junior and leaves: "You ain't never going to see ths old ass again."  

Junior screams and cries. Glendon goes off to visit Eli and get murdered on Christmas Day, 1993. 

In the present, Martin visits the captured Cycle Ninjas in jail: a group of scruffy teenagers.  Sheriff Brenda tells him that they have fake ids, no fingerprints in the system, and they aren't talking.  Martin tries to use psychology: "We know who sent you. Now you tell us."  But it doesn't work; they just fart at him.

Cut to Baby Billy selling his health elixer in a nursing home. Afterwards the spirit of his sister Aimee-Leigh appears, and encourages him to visit his son Harmon, whom he abandoned in a shopping mall in 1993. "It's time," she tells him, and "You know I'm right."  He tells her to get lost.  Aimee-Leigh appears in the Seasons 1 and 3 finales, but doesn't interact with anyone.  I wonder if she is a hallucination here.

Eli's physical therapy:  Eli gathers the siblings, their partners, and Gideon to thank them for their role in his recovery.  Keefe is not present, but Eli tells Kelvin: "You and Queef have been such a help. I keep saying 'Go back to your house,' but you wouldn't hear it. You've stayed on, helping me get on my feet with physical therapy."  He gets Keefe's name wrong, but at least he acknowledges that Kelvin has a partner.  

Wait -- how could Kelvin administer physical therapy with his hand injury? I'm getting an image of Keefe being run ragged from caring for two invalids.  Surely there were nurses around, too. 

Of course, they had an ulterior motive for not going home: the God Squad has taken over their house.

Cut to BJ and Judy putting the very pregnant Tiffany on the bus for the 15 hour trip to her mama's house in West Virginia, where she can raise her son with no money.  At the last moment. Judy asks her to stay: she's family.

Cleansing the Temple: Later that day, Kelvin and Keefe spy on the God Squad as they dance, fight with sticks, run wild on a golf cart, and..um... masturbate into a watering can?   "It's time to cleanse the temple!" Kelvin exclaims.  How could the God Squad control the house for several weeks with no one noticing? There's a housekeeping crew and regular security patrols.  This must be another chronological mishap.

The guys burst into the gym, knocking over things.  "This was a house of prayer, but ye made it a den of thieves!" Kelvin exclaims. Torsten orders the men to put Keefe back in the tiger cage, but Keefe tries to fight back, Kelvin yells "No one re-cages Keefe," and they relent. 

Next he reminds them of all the good he's done. Before joining the God Squad, Torsten was "a little doughboy" who still lived with his parents. "I chiseled you into the sculpture you are today." 

When Cody had cramps, Kelvin "crawled into his yurt and massaged him until sunrise."  A sexual reference, of course.  The guys stare at Cody, who shakes his head -- that didn't happen.  In a cult based on homoerotic desire, why would anyone disapprove of Cody and Kelvin getting busy?  There appears to be a major misunderstanding here. Many of the God Squad musclemen are straight alphas, in it for the muscles, just tolerating the homoerotic activity of Kelvin, his boyfriend, and the guys he invites to the steam showers.

Torsten challenges "the Messiah of the Muscle Men" to another cross raising to determine leadership.

Whoa, there used to be twelve musclemen -- now there are 23.  The cross used to be about ten feet high.  Now it's over thirty!

As Kelvin grabs the crossbars, the casts on his hands fly off -- a miracle!  Although he is much smaller than the musclemen, he is able to "get it up" -- another miracle!  Keefe drops to his knees, apparently in worship.  He needs to decide whether he wants a boyfriend or a Savior.

When he has achieved leadership with "a proper erection," Kelvin orders the God Squad to get out of his house, then pulls Keefe to his feet.  They hug and do their weird forehead press thing, but don't kiss.  I guess it's been decided for him: Kelvin is the strongest, but not the Messiah, and Keefe is an equal partner, not his disciple. 

Torsten: "It's your house, Bro.  You didn't need to get weird about it."  But of course Kelvin had to prove that he was strong, sexually potent -- a man.

No lions, no tigers, no bears: We cut to Eli and his children rehearsing for his welcome-back service. Notice that Kelvin's shirt and jacket display no roaring animals, and his pants display no club-bulge. His obsession with demonstrating his potency is over. 

Later, Eli tells Jesse that he's grown, healed his family, demonstrated his leadership ability, so he'll give him the money to invest in the Zion's Landing Resort after all.  

But what about Junior -- won't he keep on trying to kill them?  "I think it's time you know the truth," Eli says.

He brings his children to the amusement park, and tells them about Christmas 1993. about Glendon Marsh holding him at gunpoint and Daddy Roy coming to the rescue, or maybe just shooting.  Afterwards, Eli wanted to protect his family, and worried that the scandal of having a murdering Dad would destroy his empire, so he and Martin buried the body under the roller coaster. 

Eli determines that the only way to protect his family from Junior is to come clean, tell him everything. Gulp -- he's already trying to kill you because you rejected his friendship.  What will happen when you tell him about his daddy being murdered?   

Before we continue, a bonus for aficionados of short guys: A dwarf swimming champ from Helsinki.  

More after the break

Joe Mande: The incredibly gorgeous Ben on "Modern Family" writes for tv shows that I don't like, shows his dick but not his chest.

Ben (Joe Mande) is introduced in Modern Family Episode 6.17 (2015) as the shy, beset-upon marketing manager at Pritchet's Closets and Blinds, where Jay's daughter Claire has just taken over as boss.  He returns in four episodes of Season 7, mostly to be the butt of jokes.  Lives with his mother?  Owns a cat?  What a loser!  

Claire holds the "little suck up from marketing" in utter contempt, but keeps him around because he will do anything she asks, such as performing "mom" duties so she can pretend to have the perfect work/life balance.

Jay's wife Gloria thinks so little of him that she can never remember his name, although she knows everyone else who works at the company, even the guys in the warehouse.  

 

In Episode 8.12, Ben notes that he has a crush on Claire's adult daughter, Alex.  He doesn't expect her to reciprocate, since he's a total loser, not good enough for her -- or for anyone, really.  He doesn't deserve to have friends or a romance.  But Alex is into losers, and a guy who lives with his mother, owns a cat, works in closets, is constantly ridiculed by everyone, and is over 40 ("actually, I'm 26"): "kiss me!"  

Maybe she is attracted to losers like Ben, Alec (John Karna), Teddy, Sanjay (Suraj Patel), and Arvin (Chris Geere, below) because they are so easy to control, belittle, diminish, and feel superior to.  

She spends four more episodes in Season 8 and two in Season 9 having fun ordering Ben around, making jokes at his expense, ridiculing his interests, and having sex with him in ways that ignore his needs.

Finally Ben can't take the constant ridicule, and starts seeing a woman who actually likes him.  When Alex finds out in Episode 9.5, they break up, and he is never mentioned again.

I kept thinking, what the heck is wrong with these people?  Ben is gorgeous, with that round face, expressive eyes, d*ck-sucking lips, and scruffy beard. At 5'9", a member of the Short Guy Brigade.  And always wearing a business suit!  When he was on stage, I couldn't pay attention to anyone or anything else.

So let's try a profile.  

Question #1: Gay in real life?  No: he's married to the "beautiful, kind, funny, supportive, warm-hearted Kylie Augustine," and apparently a devotee of Hooters. 

Question #2: Any gay content in his movies and tv shows?

Joe was born in Albuquerque in 1983, went to high school in Minnesota, and received a BFA in Writing from Emerson College in 2006.  He began doing stand-up comedy in college, and moved to New York after graduation to go professional.

 His first film role is in Yeti: A Love Story (2006): five college students go camping.  Joe goes off into the woods to pee and gets skewered.  The others are killed, but not by a yeti, by a weird cult.  The male yeti is a good guy, who rescues Adam (Adam Malamut).  They fall in love.  I can't tell if it is homophobic or not, but Malmut is straight in real life, and according to one review, "incredibly annoying."

More after the break. Caution: Explicit.

Jamie Mayers: Absurdly hot Short Guy, LARPer, ghost, with a trans mom, a gay dad, a BFA, and a boyfriend. And maybe a cock

 

We've been watching the American version of Ghosts (2021-26), about a disparate group of ghosts who are trapped between worlds in a bed-and-breakfast in upstate New York.  I'm not happy with the way they approach the Revolutionary War soldier Isaac being gay.  At least in Season 1, he'll say that a man is attractive, and the other ghosts will stare, mystified, as if same-sex desire cannot possibly exist.

But I like the buddy-bonding and the beefcake. 

In Episode 1.7 (2021),  Samantha, who can see ghosts because she was dead for a few minutes, encounters early 20th century newsboy Winky.  He was only 12 years old when he died, but the actor is obviously an adult --- 21 year old Jamie Mayers, now 25, and at 5'3", an outstanding member of the Short Guy Brigade who deserves a profile.

Well, he's also absurdly hot,  and gay in real life.  But mostly because he's 5'3". 

Jamie has several well-stocked social media pages, plus Linkedin and a professional website, so we can piece together a biography:

He was born in Montreal in 1999, and began acting in 2010, with some shorts, commercials, and Lies My Father Taught Me at Theatre Calgary: a Jewish boy's bittersweet memories of 1920s Montreal.

In 2012, Jamie played the son of gay-vague werewolf Ray (Andreas Apergis, left) in an episode of Being Human, about ghost, vampire, and werewolf roommates.

And he voiced the young Connor in the Assassin's Creed III video game.  He returned in 2017 to voice Pharaoh Ptolemey in Assassin's Creed: Origins.

Teencoms followed: the bratty little brother of Live Action Role Playing Gamer Brittany in seven episodes of LARPERS (2014-15)

The gay-vague best friend of a teenage boy whose life is narrated by sportscaster-like beings in Game On (2016-17).

And a drama: four episodes of This Life (2015-16), about a woman dying of cancer while her teenage sons have soap opera problems.

But his most famous role is in Venus (2017):  Indo-Canadian trans woman Sid (Debargo Sanyal) is just starting to transition, when a teenage boy shows up on her doorstep, a son from a high school girlfriend.  He's fine with having a trans mom, but what about her conservative Indian parents?   She also finds the time to fall in love with Pierre-Yves Cardinal (butt left).

In high school Jamie spent several summers at Stagedoor Manor, a performance camp for youth in Loch Sheldrake, New York, playing:

Patsy in Spamalot: the one who makes the sound of horses' hooves.

Arthur in Half a Sixpence: the draper's assistant who gets rich and finds love.

Otto in Grand Hotel: a dying bookkeeper who wants to spend his last moments in luxury.  He gets a girlfriend. (Played by Daniel Evans, probably not this Daniel Evans, in the West End revival).

Tobias in Sweeney Todd: the mentally challenged assistant to the murderous barber.  Played by Neil Patrick Harris on Broadway.

Jamie graduated from high school in 2017, and spent his gap year in London, where he performed in two plays with the St. George's Players, Avenue Q and Into the Woods.

Life after high school after the break.  Caution: Explicit.

Modern Family Episode 8.14: Alex is promoted, Cam is injured, and Phil dreams of parking lots. With a dozen gay actors, two short guys, and Fillion butt

 

We've been watching Modern Family, even without Adam Devine as Andy.  Last night's episode was 8.14, "Heavy is the Head" (2017) -- a little dated, but it had a lot of gay representation and beefcake.

The Phil/Jay Plot

Scene 1:  Phil (center) and his father-in-law Jay (right) are at the groundbreaking for his lifelong dream of building his own apartment complex, Dunphy Towers. Corporate guy Jared Cook approaches with an offer to buy the property for 20% more than they paid.  Phil says no, but Jay wants to play with him for a bit and get the offer up.

Left: Jonathan Chase's butt, sexing his boyfriend in Another Gay Movie (2006)

Scene 2: Foreman Pete (Robert Baker, left) found a sewer line running through Phil/Jay's property, so they can't dig the basement of the new apartment building.  Shouldn't they have checked that first?  Plus there are pockets of methane gas everywhere, bursting into flame at random moments.  The project will have to be scrapped.

Scene 3: Phil and Jay approach Jared Cook, the corporate guy who wanted to buy the property, and accept his offer.  Nope, he heard about the structural problems, and the deal is off the table. 

Scene 4: They decide to turn the space into a parking lot.  Problem solved.  Phil announces that this was his dream all along.  Really?

The Claire/Gloria Plot

Scene 1:  Claire has to be careful around her birthday, because her stepmother Gloria (who is the same age) keeps giving her dumb gifts, then complains that she doesn't appreciate them.  This year Gloria is giving her a spa day, which is ridiculous -- she hates that girly stuff.  So she claims that she's too busy.

Scene 2: Claire is the new CEO at her father's company, Pritchet's Closets and Blinds.  Her marketing manager, Ben (the incredibly cute Joe Mande), complains that the workers are going ballistic about the budget cuts.  No overtime pay?  No bagel?

"We didn't have the Christmas sales we expected."  Do people usually put closets under the tree?

"Maybe we could fire someone, like Kenny in the warehouse."

"No, I love him. He makes fun of you."

Claire holds a staff meeting and claims that she's making sacrifices, too,  like flying coach. And she's taking off her office door to indicate that she's always available.

Ulp, when she enters her office, Gloria is there, with a huge gourmet lunch. Now the staff won't believe that she's cutting corners!

Scene 3: While Ben stands guard, Claire rushes through her caviar-and-champaign lunch.  She thinks she's done, but no, Gloria has arranged for the spa to come to the office.  And Claire can't say anything, or Gloria will get hurt feelings. 

When the swishy masseur Joshua (Artie O'Daly) appears, a worker asks who he is.  "Um..he's applying for a job as a forklift operator.  There are lots of gay forklift operators." 

Joshua:  "I'm not gay!"  

Left: Artie O'Daly is gay in real life. He is currently starring in the youtube sitcom Bad Boy, with Blase Maffia III.

Scene 4: The massage, plus a manicure. Claire is starting to unclench, but assistant Ben is having more and more trouble keeping the workers out: "Your girlfriend's office smells like truffles."

"My girlfriend is your boss, and she is not my girlfriend."

More after the break

Lenny Rush: Doctor Who's buddy, the Artful Dodger's boyfriend. a gay-vague vampire. With a lot of acting awards and co-star d*cks

In the 2023-24 season of Doctor Who, Episodes 1.7 and 1.8, the time-and-space zapping Doctor (Ncuti Gatwa) and his latest companion Ruby Sunday visit UNIT, the time-and-space anomaly-investigation agency, to solve two mysteries:

1. Why does an elderly woman pop up in various guises in all of their recent adventures?

2. Ruby's mother left her on a church doorstep on Christmas Day.  They want to go back in time to discover who she is, but the Doctor can't use his regular time-traveling power, for reasons, so they use one of UNIT's experimental devices.

Things go terribly wrong, of course, and they release Sutekh, the Great Beast, the Abomination, the Destroyer, the Bringer of Death, the One Who Waits...who actually looks rather like a giant dog.  He intends to destroy all life in the universe.  Well, it's better than yet another visit from the Dahh-leks.

UNIT is staffed primarily by the Doctor's retired companions, all ladies, but there are a few hunks wandering around: 

Tachia Newall (left) as Col. Chidozie, who gets sanded to death by the Giant Dog

Alexander Devrient as Col. Ibrahaim, whose muscles are praised by the Doctor (bisexual this season): "You've been working out!"

 Aneurin Barnard (butt in candlelight, left) as Roger ap Gwillam, who will become the most evil Prime Minister in the history of Britain.  

And a cute kid: Lenny Rush as12-year old super-genius Morris Gibbons, who runs the time-travel device, fights the Giant Dog, gets dusted and resurrected, and after the Dog's demise, invites everyone out to a pizza party.

Lenny was originally cast in Episode 1.1, as one of the sentient babies running an orbiting space nursery, but he was so great that they decided to cut his scene and cast him in this much bigger role.

As of this writing, Lenny is 16 years old and looks a bit younger, so I won't be searching for beefcake or n*de photos.  I'll post some of his co-stars instead.

But at  3'2" he's a perfect addition to the Short Guy Brigade, so I'm going to research the other usual questions of a profile:

1. Has he played any gay characters?

Lenny has 14 acting credits listed on the IMDB, beginning with 4 episodes of the animated Apple Tree House (2018-19) and 7 episodes of The Dumping Ground (2021-22), about children "dumped" in a foster home.

There were two lesbians in The Dumping Ground, but no gay boys.

Dodger (2022-23) featured the Victorian-era pickpocket Artful Dodger (Billy Jenkins, left) and his mentor Fagin (Christopher Eccleston) before their adventures in Dickens' Oliver Twist.  Lenny (right) played Morgan the Crossing Sweeper, the Dodger's gay-subtext boyfriend.

More after the break