Casey Simpson: The Ricky Dicky boy buddy bonds through his childhood, then bulks up and discovers girls. With Gallagher and Benward dicks

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

The Season: Rich straight guys have problems, too. Even in Hong Kong. With some dicks, bulges, yachts, and the dad from "Lost in Space"

I've been fooled by two tv series and a movie today.

Voice mails for Isabelle: A guy sits by Golden Gate Bridge, complaining to his dead sister he can't find his people in San Francisco. Where are all the drag queens. It took me 20 minutes to figure out that it's actually a girl, not a gay guy.  She was wearing a hoodie and pants to trick you into watching.  

Booth Bangla: A guy plans his sister's wedding.  He doesn't express any heterosexual interest -- until halfway through the movie, when he meets the Girl of His Dreams.

Oasis: A family checks into an exclusive resort.  Two boys immediately meet the Girls of Their Dreams, and an established couple smooch.  I was holding out for the teenage daughter to be a lesbian because she keeps cruising girls.  Nope,  she meets the Boy of Her Dreams at Minute 12.  

Heck with it.  I'm watching The Season on Hulu, about "the glittering world of super-yachts, sun, and scandal" in Hong Kong.  At least there will be some nice exterior shots.

Episode 1 Prologue.  A woman tells us: "Hong Kong is a city of bloodlines.  It will destroy you."   An elegantly dressed middle-aged woman floats in the water outside a burning yacht.  She sinks.

Scene 1: Six weeks earlier.  A young woman jogs through Hong Kong.  Nice exterior shots.  Someone named Carrie calls, and tells her that her job today is impress the Hexts.  Impress them, and you've got it made in Hong Kong.

A taxi takes her through the forest to her destination, a mansion or institution.   Carrie ends her cardio work out to greet her.  Back story: Her name is Cola (I love your parents' products, girl!), she has graduated with a degree in economics and maths, and her classmate Carrie, a wealth mover, has invited her to come out to Hong Kong as an intern.  "I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get a full-time job offer," Cola says.  Lie?  Steal?  Blow up yachts? 

The summer is Boating Season, where Hong Kong A-Listers decide who they will admit to their social network.  You have one chance to make a good impression; a single misstep, and you're out. 

Scene 2:  A lady, maybe Carrie, tells the staff that everything must be spotless, and asks Jon if he is ready for the maiden voyage.  "Bring on the Bacchanalia," he says in a bored/aesthete tone. He'll be telling the guests to "Diversity at your own risk."  He must be gay.

His teenage daughter sneers: "Great small talk, dad."  Nope. 

On the way upstairs to change, Jon asks a Male Staffer, "Is everything ready?"  Maybe they are having an affair. Wife, now calling him Christopher, says "I really need this to work."

Why the changed name?  It turns out that Bored Aesthete is Christopher (Toby Stephens, the Dad on Lost in Space).  Jon (Lee-Jai Yoon, top photo) is the Male Staffer.  Wife asked him a question while she was walking away from him, toward Christopher, who answered for him.

Scene 3: Cola and Carrie enter the yacht.  They're joined by a guy named Andrew Fung (Chris Pang of Crazy Rich Asians), who was in St. Tropez, but it's too hot in Europe. "Global warming is so inconvenient."

When Carrie introduces Cola, Andrew teases "A younger, hotter version of you?" Heterosexual identity established in his second sentence.  His "lovely wife" Niki arrives and is introduced.  Her family owns the Harbor Club, and are the bitter rivals of the Hexts, whom they are there to impress.  

Next Jay and Sara Byford, from Melbourne, arrive and kiss up to Andrew and his Lovely Wife, but he doesn't like them.  

He does like Hong Kong's most eligible bachelor, David Ho (Justin Chien, left). Maybe he's.....

Confused by the plethora of names?  Don't worry; all you really need to know is that everyone is very rich, very bored, and heterosexual.  

Back story: the family from Scene 2 are Christopher and Fiona Hext.  This is their yacht.  Wait -- everyone is here to impress them.  Why are they concerned about the day going well?  Spoiler alert: they're having financial problems.

Sceme 4: Cola is introduced to the Hext Family.  "How nice to see some new faces!" Fiona Hext exclaims.

Cola is turned on by a semi-shirtlessC hunk with his lady, but Carrie warns her: "God, no, that's Matthias! Just a personal trainer, not rich.  Ignore." Heterosexual identity established at Minute 11.

Left: Lincoln Younes plays Matthias the Personal Trainer, Gigolo, Drug Dealer, and Actor.

Dirt on the Hexts: "Christopher's family practically invented colonialism, and Fiona's Old Hong Kong money fueled it."  

Scene 5: Eligible Bachelor is helping the Captain pilot the ship.  Christopher Hext takes over and asks how things are going since the divorce.  It must be rough.  After all, he and Lian were together for 13 years. Don't get your hopes up -- Lian can be used for any gender, but 2/3rds of the time, it's a girl.  And gay marriage is not permitted in Hong Kong, so he would have to establish residence somewhere else if Lian was a guy.

"You're right, I'm miserable.  How are you doing?"

"Miserable, too."  

More after the break

The 18 biggest, hottest, or most surprising cocks of the musclemen and bodybuilders from Arnold to Slab, with bonus Brian

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Jonathan Lipnicki: The most surprising skinny kid to muscleman transformation of the 2000s. And he's an ally. With Jon's backside and Boo-Boo's dick

 

Born in October 1990, Jonathan Lipnicki became a famous actor at the age of five, playing Tom Cruise's son in Jerry Maguire (1996); comedian Jeff Foxworthy's son on his show (1996-97); and the charge of wacky alien-nanny Bronson Pinchot in Meego (1997). 

Then came four box office-topping movies:

Stuart Little (1999) and Stuart Little 2 (2002): His new brother is a mouse voiced by Michael J. Fox.

The Little Vampire (2000): He has a gay-subtext buddy bond with a vampire, which becomes even more blatant in the animated remake, The Little Vampire 3D (2017).

Like Mike (2002): His buddy finds a pair of magic sneakers that allow him to become a basketball superstar.

Between 1996 and 2002, Jonathan was a superstar.  He appeared on every talk show you could name -- Leno, Letterman, Rosie O'Donnell, Sharon Osbourne. He presented at the American Comedy, Kids' Choice, and British Comedy Awards. He won a Critics' Choice Award.  The media went crazy when he appeared at the Spiderman premiere with Daryl Sabara, the second most famous child star of the 2000s.

Then he started fading away, with movies like When Zachary Beaver Came to Town (2003) and The Teacher from the Black Lagoon (2003), and occasional guest spots.  You could see him on Dawson's Creek, Touched by an Angel, and Monk, but you probably didn't.

It wasn't due to lack of talent. Jonathan was being bullied, branded a "has-been," told "you'll never book a job again,"  harassed with homophobic slurs, attacked for "being gay" (although he's actually straight), "made to feel like garbage every day" through middle school and high school.  He was suffering from anxiety, depression, and nearly daily panic attacks.  His battle with depression is ongoing, but his Jewish faith helps.  And working out. 

Around 2008, a rash of "Where is he now?" articles appeared, with detailed attention paid to Jonathan's increasingly buffed physique.  He was playing water polo and basketball, training in mixed martial arts, and lifting weights.

If you last saw him as a cute kid holding hands with a vampire, the change was astounding.

Becoming a muscleman didn't exactly restore Jonathan to superstardom, but he was very busy, starring in Youthful Daze (2014-15) and Interns of FIELD (2016), Mr. Student Body President (2017-18), and Joe Schmo (2025); plus many movies and shorts.

.

He shows his butt in Pitching Tents (2017).  A high school senior has to decide whether to go to work in the factory or study art. Also, he and his buds kiss girls.  I think Jonathan plays one of the friends.  Booboo Stewart (d*ck after the break) plays another.

More after the break

Brian Cage and Lance Hoyt, the "Disclosure Day" demi-gods: Which has nude photos? Which is gay? WIth Riddle rising and Oberst pretending

Disclosure Day (2026), about aliens finally announcing their presence to the world (after hanging around since the Roswell Crash of 1947), offers beefcake only in the first scene.  Danny (Josh O'Connor) stole tapes demonstrating the aliens' presence, and Boss Hogg of the Evil Corporation kidnapped his girlfriend to get them back.  They want to make the trade at a wrestling match.  

I haven't posted a profile of a muscleman for a long time, so I thought I would research the wrestlers, Brian Cage (blue) and Lance Hoyt (red).

Brian Cage, civilian name Brian Button, works for Lucha Underground and Impact Wrestling. Sometimes he performs as Mortis as an homage to his friend Chris Kanyon, who created the character.  As a bodybuilder, he won the 2026 Mr. Nevada competition.

 Other than wrestling shows, he has appeared in:

A fan film, The Fall of Greyskull  (2015), playing He-Man.

The Bloody Man (2020), about a boy who accidentally summons a monster.  Brian plays "Barbarian Man."

And Kill City Cup (2023): A sort of cage-fighting Hunger Games.  He plays a wrestler. 

Brian's Instagram consists almost entirely of selfies, photos from his wrestling and bodybuilding performances, and ladies with big breasts. I got the distinct impression that he is straight.   

Yep, the pro wrestling website tells us that he is married to Melissa Santos, a ring announcer and television personality who works with him in the Lucha Underground.

But at least we have a nude photo.

Or two.

More after the break

Among Us: A crew of nonbinary bean-beings face a killer in their midst. With Park's butt, Elijah's junk, Korvo, and Casper the Friendly Ghost

  

Among Us is an adult animation series based on a video game, filmed in 2024 and released on Paramount Plus in 2026.  Showrunner Owen Dennis has been associated with the gay-friendly Regular Show, Infinity Train, and AJ Goes to the Dog Park (and he has Pride wallpaper on his cell phone), so I expect some gay subtexts, or maybe even texts.

The premise: An alien shapeshifter is killing the crew members on the Spaceship Skeld as it travels toward its home planet with a precious cargo.  They have to identify the imposter before it's too late.  

The astronauts are bean-shaped,  about 3.5 feet tall, named after their color (which could present problems in a large group).  They have two legs, no arms, no mouths, floating hands, and large visors that change to express emotions. They are genderless, but they reference hookups and "childbirth," so something like human sexual activity occurs.  

Since they are nonbinary, the astronauts are all LGBTQ.  But I'm going to gender them through the gender of their voice actors, and check for "same-sex" desire.

I'm reviewing Episode 1.2, "You Can't Be Hot and Smart," which begins just after the first being, new crew member White (Patton Oswald), has been sliced neatly in half.  

Scene 1: Everyone screams, retches, slips on the blood. Someone puts a "Wet Floor" notice. They try to notify MIRRA, their company, but comms are down.  Captain Red (Randall Park, left) cautions everyone, "don't panic."

And don't forget your towel (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

Then Doctor Blue (Dan Stevens, Korvo on Solar Opposites) arrives, and everyone relaxes, because they inspire confidence.

Scene 2: In the med bay, Captain Red tries to avoid admitting that White was murdered;  maybe it was a work related accident?   Doctor Blue tells them that suddenly being cut in half is quite rare.  They perform some tests. We see swabbing, a petri dish, typing into a computer, and finally they conclude that...White is dead.

Scene 3: Meanwhile, in the cafeteria, everyone agrees that it was a murder. Did White have any enemies?  No, everyone loved them -- except Unpaid Intern Green (Elijah Wood) who wanted to steer the ship -- their lifelong dream -- but White stole the job. This aroused their bloodlust!

Green, mopping the floor, claims that they have "no lust for anything, especially blood."

Left: Reputedly Elijah Wood.

Scene 4: Captain Red asks Security Officer Purple (Ashley Johnson) to check the security cams for suspicious activity, but they only record in black and white, and without color, you can't tell who is who.  Maybe by costume?

Doctor Blue calls Purple into the medbay for an invasive body scan: they want to compare White's body with every crew member's, to see if the splitting-in-half was caused by an alien pathogen or mutation.  "I won't sleep until I know how to protect the crew!" they announce.

Purple swoons with romantic desire.  M-F voice actors

More after the break

Callan Farris: The Unsittable Jeremy drops in on Disney teencoms, kisses boys, learns about gigantic penises on the darkweb

 

This photo on the teen idol site drew my interest. Dude is either gay or pretending. 

His social media offers more photos of the two guys kissing him, plus standard buddies hugging, and no icky girls.  Here he poses with "I keep my private life a secret, but I'm dating a dude" Pedro Pascal. 

He's Callan Farris,  best known for the Disney Channel teencom Gabby Duran and the Unsittables (2019-21).  13 year old Gabby soon learns that her charges are "unsittable" because they are alien children hiding out as humans. 

Callan plays Jeremy, a shapeless blob who is next in line for the throne of Gor-Monia, on Earth to hide from would-be assassins.  Most of his plots involve misunderstanding human customs, or having his alien powers accidentally cause disasters.  

The episode synopses and fan wikis don't mention any heterosexual interests. But Jeremy considers Gabby's friend Wesley (Maxwell Acee Donovan, "The Human Erection" on That 90s Show), his "sister" (he doesn't quite understand gendered nouns).  And he is "fond of" Julius (Kheon Clarke), a waiter at the teen hangout.  Sounds like a lot of gay subtext going on.

Callan was born in Los Angeles in 2007.  No other information about his childhood is available, but from his last name ("warrior" in Arabic) and some of his early roles -- Syrian Boy, Kadir Siddiqui, Rafi Elshami -- I'm guessing that he's Arab-American. He started his career in commercials, and moved into television playing "Very Sweet Kid" on a 2016 episode of Dr. Ken.

On the IMDB, Callan lists his "most famous" works as Gabby; Kings (2017), about a family in South Central during the 1990s L.A. riots; a 2018 episode of Grey's Anatomy where Jackson (Jesse Williams, left) treats a boy with cancerous tumors on his scapulae (shoulder blades); and the preschooler series Rocketeer (2019-20)

More after the break

Finn Bennett: Unexpected beefcake in "Backrooms" leads down a rabbit hole of gay teases. With some nude Finns and Whishaw butt

Last weekend we saw Backrooms (2026), which  is not about the backrooms of gay bars where you get down with dudes. Based on a creepypasta, it stars Chiwetel Ejofor as Clark, a struggling furniture store owner and failed architect, who stumbles onto an Upside Down: endless yellow-walled office rooms, most empty, some with piles of melting chairs, bloody clothes, a Christmas tree, a mannikin equipped with a recording in Urdu...and misshapen, half-melted humanoids.

Clark recruits his employee Kat and her boyfriend Bobby (Finn Bennett), who filmed one of his commercials, to explore with him.  When he knocks on their door, Bobby answers shirtless.

As we have seen with the shirtless parking valets on Suburgatory, unexpected beefcake still has power. .  This screenshot doesn't capture the sudden joy of recognition.  I went home and looked up Finn Bennett.

Preliminary research yielded this photo on his Instagram, with the comment "I'm just a boy who likes to have fun."  I can see that.  

And a Google AI statement that he played a character "implied to be homosexual" in Domina.  

That's enough to start a profile.

I was expecting a recent university graduate with some theatrical experience and a few minor on-screen roles, but it turns out that Finn won the Trophée Chopard at Cannes in 2025, and was named a Star of Tomorrow by Screen International.  

He has his own wikipedia page, and so do his parents:

Ronan Bennett, famous novelist and screenwriter.

Georgina Henry, famous journalist, who died in 2014

Finn was born in December 1999 in Hackney, a rough but rapidly gentrifying neighborhood of East London.  He took acting classes at Stagecoach Performing Arts in Islington, and appeared in a 2013 episode of Top Boy, his dad's show about drugs and gangs in East London.  I know the area very well.

After taking his A-levels in maths, Finn applied to Queen's University, Belfast.  In Britain you have to apply to a field of study, so he found anthropology near the top of the list and figured "that's good enough.  I'll study that."  But then he decided to forego uni altogether in pursuit of an acting career, and worked in pubs and as a landscaper while awaiting his big break.  I'll check the highlights for gay characters:

Four episodes of Liar (2017-20), about a teacher who accuses the guy she went on a date with (Ioan Gruffud) of rape.  He plays Ewen, one of her students.

Left: is that his ear or his dick?

Four episodes of National Treasure: Kiri (2018): A black girl is murdered just as she is about to be adopted by a white family.  He plays Simon, the family's teenage son, a suspect (spoiler alert: he didn't do it).

Hope Gap (2019): A husband and wife announce to their adult son (Josh O'Connell) that they're divorcing.  According to the AI, Mom encounters a young man who has just lost his boyfriend, but I don't know if he is Finn's character.

Finn's big break came with the ancient Roman drama Domina (2021): Livia Drusilla struggles to acquire power, eventually becoming the wife of Gaius (Augustus Caesar).   Marcellus (Finn) is forced to marry Gauis' daughter Julia.  Sorry, AI, he's not just "implied," he has an explicitly sexual realtionship with his slave Aprio (Pedro Leandro).  

The show was criticized for making the only gay character creepy, violent, and "deeply unpleasant." 

More after the break

"Fionna and Cake": Complex adult-oriented sequel to "Adventure Time," with two out gay couples and lot of back story and butts

  

The Cartoon Network series Adventure Time (2010-18) sent 12-16 year old human Finn (Jeremy Shada, left) and his magical dog companion Jake on adventures in the medieval-style world of Ooo (occupied by sentient candy, slime, and fire beings, plus a few animals and humanoids).  Eventually we learn that this is a post-apocalyptic world where things went wrong during the Mushroom Wars 1,000 years ago.  It gets more complex and much more sinister, with back story after back story, with Lovecraftian cosmic beings pulling the strings of the world, only to discover that there are darker gods changing reality on a whim. 

  All you really need to know about is the only same-sex romance in the series, between the Bubblegum Princess  --really an Elemental, one of the four substances that created the universe and all life, but presenting as a 16-year old girl -- and Marceline, a 1000 year old teenage vampire whose mentor Simon Petrikov put on a magical crown and became the insane Ice King -- got all that?  They become girlfriends in the last scene of the last episode -- typical, no open gay characters until series fade-out. 

Fionna and Cake were a gender-swapping Finn and Jake in the Ice King's fan fiction. Then an omnipotent being decided to bring them to life, and after some adventures, remove their magical powers and memories and place them in a pocket universe designed to look like a 21st century city.  But things are a little off-- generic names like "City Park", backgrounds a little smudged, everything tastes like cardboard, there is nothing but elevator music on the radio, nothing on tv but reruns of Cheers and Friends.  Cake is non-sentient, and Fionna is so discouraged that she keeps getting fired from dead-end jobs.

Episode 1.6, "The Winter King," features a meeting between the male counterparts of the Bubblegum Princess and Marceline: Gary Prince (Andrew Rannells, left), a baker who has discovered a way to give food taste; and Marshall Lee (Donald Glover, below), an aspiring musician who has discovered how to use a guitar. They kiss in Episode 1.7.

Both voice actors are gay in real life.

Left: Gratuitous Rannells butt.

One day Fionna and Cake find their way to Ooo, where they meet Finn from the original series, now middle aged, and the Ice King, now reverted to human form as Simon Petrikov.  After many adventures on a variety of worlds, they decide that they like their original pocket-universe, and return in time to save their city from destruction under a godlike being named Scarab.  End of Season 1.

We hear all of this in the opening sequence of Season 2: it is told in story form to Simon (the former Ice King) and girlfriends Marcelline and the Bubblegum Princess by a little girl whose back story on the fan wiki is too complex to mention.  So maybe the Fionna-Cake universe is still a fan fiction?

I think we're ready for a review of Episode 2.1.

Scene 1: Fionna awakens, relishing her new human life, and sets out with Cake into the still-recovering City.  She helps out at the places where she was fired previously, except for the tour bus ("on your left you'll see more destruction"), where tour guide Queenie (a gender-reversed, child version of the evil King of Ooo) calls her a "deadbeat."

Scene 2: Next the Candy Supply Store, where the shape-shifting, still-sentient Cake transforms into a buxom woman so she can flirt with the owner.  Fionna grabs the last bag of cocoa powder, but the evil Lady Cutter steals it and calls her a loser. They fight.

Scene 3: On the street, Fionna gets a call from Simon Petrikov, back in Ooo, who is living with the Bubblegum Princess and Marceline.  He'll start teaching magical arts at the university tomorrow. Meanwhile, Cake destroys all of the posters advertising DJ Flame, Fionna's ex (the gender-swapped version of the Flame Princess, Finn's ex).

Scene 4: In a forest on Ooo, a lion steals an orange from a tomb, and the Huntress Wizard, the middle-aged Finn's estranged girlfriend, gives chase.  She finds it in a cave with a cow and a duck, squeezing the juice into the mouth of the  nearly-unconscious Finn.  He is dying.   

More after the break

"Disclosure Day": Incessant heterosexism as the aliens announce their existence, 26 years too late. With Tommy dick and Boss Hogg butt

 

Today we saw Disclosure Day (2026) at the theater.  I'm not happy.  The plot is all mushed up, but I'll try to disentangle it.

The Kidnapping: We begin at a wrestling match, which gives us some beefcake.  But things go downhill fast.  Danny (Josh O'Connell) is there to hand over a backpack to the Bad Guys who have kidnapped his coworker or girlfriend or sister (we aren't sure which). Why is it always a kidnapped girl?  Why can't it ever be a guy?

 But he points an alien magic wand at them, and they're so flustered that they let him and the Girl drive away.  The two hide out at the convent where she used to be a nun.

Big reveal: they only just started dating.  Danny is upset that she didn't inform him of her religious past, and the Girl is upset because he has a briefcase with something that Bad Guys kidnapped her to get.

The Cardinal: Weather girl Margaret and her boyfriend Jackson (Wyatt Russell) are having problems.  She keeps being dissatisfied by the town they're living in, and insisting that they move, but Jackson likes it in Kansas City.  Also, her father died when she was 17, there's a pesky missing time incident from when she was 10, and animals and birds keep staring at her.

Today she was stared at by a cardinal, and suddenly could speak Russian.  She's late for work, so she zooms through downtown Kansas City, and when a cop stops her, gets out of a ticket by telling him about his marital problems, and advising him on how to reconcile with his wife.

At the studio, Margaret is going on the air in a few minutes, but she has time to translate the Korean of a guy who is being interviewed but did not bring along an interpreter, and stare at three people and give them advice about their marital partners (all heterosexual, over and over and over).  When she starts her broadcast, she begins speaking in a click language, then collapses.

The Big Reveal:  Danny is actually working for a guy named Hugo, who sends Operative Santiago (Tommy Martinez, nude after the break) to drive them to a safe house.  There he tells his Girlfriend that he has tapes documenting 70 years of the Evil Corporation harassing aliens: confiscating their crashed spaceships, stealing their technology, dissecting their corpses, imprisoning and torturing survivors.  An advanced alien civilization let this happen without retaliation?  Why aren't our cities smoking ruins?

The Evil Corporation wants to keep all of this hidden, because if the public finds out, they will panic.  Girlfriend thinks that if the public finds out, they will stop believing in God and start worshipping the aliens.  (She even telephones the convent to ask, but the Mother Superior says that her belief in God wouldn't be affected by aliens.)

Going North:  At the hospital, everything checks out.   The doctor asks about the missing time and her father's death, and suggests that Margaret began speaking in Russian, Korean, and the click language because she's under stress.  Really?   I'm under stress -- could I learn Mandarin?  

Margaret intuits that the Evil Corporation has sent goons to kill her, so she asks Boyfriend Jackson (left) to help her to the bathroom.  For some reason the bathroom opens out onto a hallway, and they can escape.  Margaret insists that they drive north to find "Danny."  She doesn't know who he is, but she wants to find him.  Boyfriend Jackson humors her for awhile, but finally he's had enough, and calls the hospital to fetch her  She scrams.

The Crucifix:   While Danny is out looking for cell phone bars to call Boss Hugo, the Head Corporate Guy -- I'll call him Boss Hogg because he looks and acts like a corrupt Southern sheriff in a 1970s trucker movie --  uses an alien magic wand to appear before the Girlfriend and force her to tell them where the safe house is.  "Oh, and if we don't get there in time, would you mind killing Danny yourself?"  She can avoid his mind control temporarily by jamming a crucifix into her hand, but it doesn't work for long.  

Left: Danny dick, in case you haven't seen it lately.

Meanwhile, Weather Girl Margaret calls Danny to warn him that Corporate Goons are coming to kill him.  He sees their 28 cars from a distance, but instead of running away, he steals one of the cars, grabs his Girlfriend, and zooms away with them in hot pursuit.  

That night, as they are sleeping in a hotel in Indiana (at least seven hours from Kansas City by car, and they dumped their car over a cliff), Boss Hogg uses the alien technology to have Girlfriend reveal their location again!  Does Danny get smart and leave her there?  No, he shoves her out the bathroom window and allows himself to be captured. 

More after the break