Caleb Brown: Is the former "Lay-Lay" star closeted or gay-teasing? With a switch to Peyton Perrine and Chris Redd's cock

A 2016 episode of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is notable for a rare sighting of the bulge of Rebeccca's crush Josh (Vincent Rodriguez III), Paula's song about the nefarious deeds she's engaged in to help Rebecca snare him, and a young prince played by Caleb Brown.

Who grew up to be a goofy, swishy, obviously gay hunk.

Caleb Brown did musical theater and commercials before breaking into tv with Bella and the Bulldogs. A number of teencoms followed, including Bizaardvark and Henry Danger.

Plus he played the femme son of macho Oscar's girlfriend in two episodes of the Odd Couple remake (with Matthew Perry as Oscar)

He got his big break in That Girl Lay-Lay.  The premise: Sadie brings her AI (Lay-Lay) to life, and must teach her how to be human while hiding her secret from the world. Meanwhile, Lay-Lay helps Sadie break out of her shell and do things like join drama club and run for class president.  Caleb played Jeremy, the girls' gay-coded classmate and sometime ally.  He never gets a girlfriend, but buddy-bonds with guys a lot.

Left: Sadie's father is played by Thomas Hobson, who is gay in real life, but he has no nude photos online, so I'm posting Danny Hobson instead.

After Lay-Lay, Caleb went to college to study filmmaking.  He is producing a student film, Spring Creek, based on the true story of a camp for troubled teens that was closed down after numerous allegations of abuse.

Caleb's instagram shows him hugging guys, going on trips with guys, and taking guys to formal events.  Here he and his date are attending a fundraiser for the Visalia Emergency Fund.

More after the break

"Final Destination: Blood Legacy": Death has a wacky sense of humor. With Travis Turner, the gay guy from "Chucky," and a n*de security guard

Final Destination is a movie franchise about people who escape death, so Death tracks them down and offs them in complex, gruesome ways that would make Rube Goldberg proud.  Final Destination: Bloodlines (2025), on HBO MAX, gets a score of 93% Fresh on Rotten Tomatoes, and reviews of "a scary streaming hit with a surprising amount of heart."  I'm looking for beefcake and gay characters, of course.

Scene 1: A blindfolded girl is apparently going to her Sweet Sixteen party with her father.  She asks for a hint, but he will only say "You'll love it!"  They end up at a fancy building, the Sky Tower, with a weird fountain outside.  She is thrilled: "I didn't even know it was open yet!"

"I pulled some favors, and got us on the list for opening night."  How are people in movies always pulling in favors.  Who are they granting this big favors for?

Transistor radio playing Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire" (1963).  This is the mid-1960s.

First misdirection: "Dad" is made up to look much older than "Daughter," but actually they are only eight years apart: Paul (Max Lloyd Jones, age 34) and his girlfriend Iris (Brec Bassinger, age 26) 

The Evil Penny-Dropping Kid (Noah Bromley, who deserves an Oscar for his smouldering malice) is nabbed for fishing coins out of the fountain, then pushes ahead of them to get on the elevator.  It is overcrowded, but the Elevator Operator (Travis Turner) says that there's plenty of room.   Don't believe it.  I saw that Twilight Zone episode.

Uneasy, Iris agrees to squeeze in with Paul. 

The dang floor is glass!  Penny Dropping Kid starts jumping up and down to scare her more.

And they make it to the Skyview Restaurant. Unfortunately, their reservation has been cancelled, so they sit at the bar, while we see the various set-ups for the deaths and destruction: people dancing on the glass floor, a pricked finger, a chef doing a flambé, a woman singing "I came tumbling down," and so on.  Back story: Iris is pregnant, but hasn't told her boyfriend yet.

They walk up the stairs to the observation deck, where Paul decides to pop the question.  But then the Penny-Dropping Kid drops the penny, starting a chain reaction that reveals the structural faults and will send the whole tower tumbling down.

Down on the main floor, as the singer sings "Shout!", they all jump up and down on the glass floor.  It caves in, and people fall to the ground.  Lol, the parking valets are playing "Raindrops Keep Fallin' on my Head"!.  Then the whole place catches on fire and explodes. The Elevator Operator tries to guide everyone down the stairs, but they crumble.  He guides them onto the elevator, but it splats.  The tower topples.  Iris and a little boy are hanging on..,they fall and die!

Scene 2: Psych!  It was just a dream.  In the modern era, Stef awakes screaming during her university math lecture (in a giant lecture hall, like even the most advanced classes in movies).  The Professor yells at her.

Later, in the dorm room, Stef has the same dream, and wakes up screaming. Her roommate yells at her for having the same dream every night and waking her up. The woman in her dream is named Iris -- her grandmother's name!  She's dreaming about her grandma, who she never met.  No wonder, she died before she could give birth to Stef's mother.

Scene 3: Stef is determined to track down her Grandma Iris and find out what the dream means. Back home, she greets her dad (Tipo Lee),  who is happy to see her, and sibling Charlie, who is not.  Dead end: Dad threw out all of Grandma's stuff after Mom abandoned them. 

More after the break

Lance Kerwin: The Golden Boy of the 1970s offers gay promise for about five years, then vanishes to Hawaii and fundamentalism

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"The Cat and the Moon": An almost canonical gay couple and a gay-subtext romance on the Mean Streets of New York

The Cat and the Moon (2019) was advertised as a "coming of age" movie with Alex Wolff (left) playing an updated Holden Caulfield.  So I  went in expecting depression, drugs, suicide, heterosexual machinations, and rampant homophobia. I found lots of drugs, suicidal ideations, insanity, and heterosexual romance, but no homophobia, and so many gay subtexts that I couldn't keep track of who was in love with whom.  

New Guy (Alex Wolff) moves to New York City while his mom is in rehab, stays with his dad's old buddy (Mike Epps, who reputedly belongs to one of these cocks).  He gets involved in a lot stuff.  This review will only cover the gay subtext scenes.

Scene 1: New Guy's first day in school.  Boyfriend (Giulian Yao Gioello, left), hot for the new guy, befriends him and shows him around.

Scene 2: In algebra class, two stoner buds are playing a game involving fluttering their hands together. 

Scene 3:  New Guy is in the restroom, trying to get high with a bong made of a toilet paper roll, when the stoner buds come in, bickering like an old married couple and talking like "he got into my motherfuckin' grill, yo."  

One stands at the urinal; the other doesn't have to go, so he just stands nearby to get a peek at his bud's penis.

They introduce themselves as Seamus and Russell (Skyler Gisondo, Tommy Nelson).  I'll call them Gay Guy and Straight Friend.  They invite New Guy to a party Friday night.

"Wait -- will your girlfriend be there?"  Gay Guy asks.  

"Yes."

"Fuck!  You never pay attention to me when she's around."  To New Guy: "His balls just evaporate when she's around." That must make sex difficult.

Scene 4; The party was cancelled, so Gay Guy and Boyfriend (from Scene 1) invite New Guy to a club .  Straight Friend and his Girlfriend will also be there.  So when they go out, it's Straight Friend-Girlfriend and Gay Guy-Boyfriend?  

On the way, Gay Guy and Straight Friend argue and break up.  The Girlfriend tells New Guy not to worry: they break up all the time, but get back together again. "Honestly, I think they just secretly want to fuck each other."  Ok, so it's not a subtext.

Left: New Guy Alex Wolff's penis

They end up partying on the roof. Gay Guy and Straight Friend kiss.  Wait, I thought you had other partners.

Later, while the guys are dealing with an overdose, New Guy and The Girlfriend bond.

More after the break

The "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend" boys grow up: Gay subtexts and penises of Zayne, Elijah, and Steele. With bonus Dad bulge

 

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (2015-19) starred Rachel Bloom as Rebecca Bunch, a driven attorney (with degrees from Harvard and Yale both) who drops everything and moves to West Covina, California to track down Josh, the boy she met at summer camp 15 years ago (Vincent Rodriguez III, who would go on to play everyone's favorite family-friendly gay guy).  

As she tries to steal him away from his current girlfriend, then gives up and dates other guys, Rebecca becomes immersed in the lives of his friends and associates, including the gay White Josh (David Hull), who dates her newly-out bisexual boss.  And there are musical numbers that reveal the characters' inner state, such as "Fit Hot Guys Have Problems, Too."

We liked it so much that we went through the series twice.

Paula Proctor (Donna Lynne Chaplin), Rebecca's confidant and partner-in-crime in the devious schemes to land Josh, is a nuclear family mom with a troubled marriage to Scott (Steven Munroe, below) and two kids who dislike her.

1. Brendan is a budding juvenile delinquent who is obsessed with knives and swords ("What did I say about the katana on the table) and sells marijuana, with customers including Josh's girlfriend Valencia and Dad Scott. His heterosexual identity is not established until Season 3, when he mentions that Rebecca has "nice boobs." When his father tells him to be respectful, he changes it to "beautiful breasts."

In Seasons 1 and 3, Brendan was played by 16-20 year old Zayne Emory, who has 27 credits listed on the IMDB, including episodes of Modern Family, Shameless, Supergirl, and a lot of teencoms.  

He played JC Spink, Adam's bully-turned-friend on 29 episodes of The Goldbergs (2015-22).  JC has a gay-subtext buddy-bond with Brian (Zach Callison).

Most recently Zayne appeared on 10 episodes of The Rookie (2018-24) as Henry, son of main character John Nolan (Nathan Fillion).  He has a girlfriend.

Zayne seems to be heterosexual in real life, but at least he's given us a nude selfie.

2. In Season 2, Brendan was played by 17-year old Elijah Nelson, who has 38 acting credits on the IMDB, including episodes of The Thunderman, Bizaardvark, American Housewife, 911 Lone Star, and SWAT. 

Most recently he has played himself in 91 episodes of Shiloh and Bros (2020-25).  Brothers Elijah, Micah, Judah, and Josiah. and their sister Shiloh, post humorous videos like "Dress to Impress in Real Life" and "If Among Us Had No Chats."

More after the break

"The Prince": The actor claims that his flashy-femme prince is "just sensitive." See for yourself. With gay-subtext homies and Turkish d*cks

 

The Prince is unfortunately the title of about a dozen tv shows and movies, but the Turkish one (2023-25) stars Giray Altinok as the Prince of Bogonia, a fictional micro-kingdom somewhere in the Balkans during the Middle Ages.  The Prince (no other name because his father hates him) is so flashy-femme, and exhibits such a strong interest in men, that viewers began buzzing.  Altinok went on social media to clear up the "misunderstanding": The Prince isn't gay, he's just sensitive.  Funny, that's what my parents used to say about me.

Of course Altinok would claim that his character is straight: Turkey is the most homophobic country in Europe. It gets 4% on the Rainbow Map of LGBT legal status, while Russia gets 8%, and Poland 15%.  Let's take a look at Episode 1, and see how "not gay" the Prince is.

Scene 1: Establishing shot of Bogonia. Several n*de women, one chained up, snooze with semi-n*de guys (one butt shot).  Can you show naked ladies on Turkish tv?   

A chained up man who has been cuddling with a man and a woman both awakens to a rap on the door, and yells at the Slave Köle (Canberk Gültekin, top photo and left).  Surprise -- he's the Prince!  Identified as bi in the first scene. Maybe Altinok meant "not gay, bi/pan."

 The King has summoned him.  "So what?"   "So what?" He returns to his orgy.

Scene 2: As everyone waits impatiently, the Prince bursts in.  He touches the cheek of one of the courtiers: "Come here, my black lamb."  He lectures against Turkish masculinity: to compete in the modern world, we need to be hugging and touching.  

The problem: The Hungarian army is at the border, and Bogonia doesn't have a big enough army to defeat them.  

"So, get help from our neighbors, like Bosnia?" "No, they all hate us."

Uncle Kalish (Serdar Orçin) suggests just surrendering and paying the tribute.  "No, we'd lose our proud history." "But this country is only twenty years old!"  This enrages the Prince's Older Brother Tenyo (Çagdas Onur Öztürk, left),  who threatens to kill Uncle Kalish for treason.

King to Older Brother: "I'm lucky to have you as a son.  Without you, my name would die with me."  So the Prince isn't going to have any kids.  Maybe he is gay, not bi. 

They decide to fight the Hungarians.  Older Brother gets the horses ready for their 50 soldiers.

Scene 3: The King meets with the Prince in private: "Everyone has some regrets in life.  Mine is you.  I can't find the words to describe my hatred of you." You're just homophobic, Dad.

The King orders Slave Kole to bring his Very Important Sword  to the Blacksmith to get the handle fixed. "The Blacksmith is my oldest and dearest friend, and only he can fix my sword."  The Prince asks him to also fetch the "big ruby necklace" that the jeweler has for him.  Dude is into drag.

Whoops, the King decides to humiliate the Prince by making him take the sword in instead of the slave.

Scene 4: Older Brother Tenyo's Wife has just taken a home pregnancy test (the Medieval version).  Still not pregnant! He is not upset: "Don't obsess over it, it will happen in due time."  But the Queen has been putting pressure on her; she sent a gigantic crib, hint, hint.   Older Brother suggests trying again now.

Scene 5: The Prince and Slave Kole in the market.  He stops to look at some fabric.  Dude is gay.  A commoner complains that the people are starving while the royals live in luxury, "especially that Prince."  "Which one?" "The ugly one."  

Upset, the prince orders him executed.  Slave Kole suggest  they could give him a chance to apologize.  Nope, he's hanged.

Next stop: the Blacksmith, the only person who can fix the King's Very Important Sword.  Except he's the guy they just executed!

Scene 6: The Prince's Sister is practicing swordsmanship when her stepmother, the Queen, bursts in and throws her sword out the window.  "Act like a Princess!"  "No -- I don't want to be a princess!"

"Too bad -- I've arranged for you to marry the Duke of Saxony!"   

"What?  No!  This is the modern world.  I want to be more than just a wife!"

Ok, the main conflicts are established: Older Brother can't get his wife pregnant, Sister wants to be a liberated woman, and the Prince is gay.

Scene 6: The royal family eating together and glaring at each other. 

Uncle  Kalish: "We can't fight the Hungarians! We'll be massacred!"  I've been checking the Prince for queer codes, but look at Uncle Kalish: 35 effeminate rings, no wife.  Dude is gay.

King: "Princess, you are going to get married whether you want to or not." 

Sister: "No!"

Queen: "The Duke of Gaul has had a son.   wish I had a grandchild."

Older Brother's Wife: "You're Older Brother's stepmother, not his mother, so any kids we have will not be your grandchildren.  Besides, how do you know it's my fault?  Maybe Older Brother's not doing his job properly."

Older Brother: "Let's fight the Hungarians right now!" 

King: "Prince, how is my sword repair coming?  The Blacksmith is a very old, dear friend of mine." Uh-oh, the Prince had him executed. 

Scene 7:  Slave Kole fixes the Very Important Sword with glue.  It will take a day to harden, but the King is coming for it now! 

 The Prince asks Slave Kole to hide in the closet (har har), and presents it to the King, who is pleased: "This is the first tim ein your life that you've followed through on a task." Whoops, he puts it in the scabbard with the resin still wet -- he'll never get it out again! A painting of a naked man is in the foreground of every bedroom scene, and there's a fresco in the back that looks like a Roman woman.  Dude is gay or bi.

The King finds Slave Kole in the closet (har har), and becomes angry at the Prince for having s*x with a slave. He has no problem with his son dating men, but they should be upper class.

 Slave Kole starts to explain that he was just fixing the sword, but the Prince cuts him off: "Shut up, Love.  He's onto us.  It's fine."   The King stomps out.  

More after the break

"Cavendish": Brothers, one gay, face paranormal peril in a quirky PEI town. With Sandiford bulge and Canadian cocks

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"Best Foot Forward": Boy negotiates middle school with a prosthetic leg, a hung dad, a bodybuilder brother, a gay buddy, and no annoying girl-craziness

 

We just dumped Peacock in favor of Apple Plus, so now we can watch Best Foot Forward (2022), based on childhood experiences of  "Paralympian, comedian, author, disability advocate, and Halloween enthusiast" Joshua Sundquist.  

Focus character Josh has been home schooled since he lost his left leg at age nine, but he finally convinces his parents to allow him to start seventh grade in public school.  He faces the standard junior high problems of friends, math tests, soccer practice, movie night, and school dances.

Josh is played by Logan Marmino, fifteen years old in 2025 and thinking about college.  Maybe Johns Hopkins?

He's an accomplished athlete, competing in Paralympics track and high school basketball and baseball.  Plus surfing and skateboarding. 

When showrunner Joshua Sundquist invited him to audition for Best Foot Forward, he had no acting experience, not even a school play.  And he doesn't really seem interested in an acting career -- he hasn't appeared in anything since. Sports and disability activism keep him busy.

While Josh is experiencing the joys and hassles of junior high, Dad and Mom (Stephen Schneider, left, Joy Suprano) have B plots of their own, like when they tried to order two pizzas, and accidentally ordered twenty. "Sometimes older people can't see the order screen very well," the delivery guy explains, to Mom's consternation.

Stephen Schneider may be best known for a five-minute long n*de fight scene in The Righteous Gemstones, but he has 37 acting credits on the IMDB, including three tv series reviewed here: You're the Worst, Broad City. and Nobody Wants This.

Josh's younger brother Matt (Roger Dale Floyd) mostly tries to help, or feels left out when Josh gets all of the attention.

Roger Dale Floyd, 13 years old in 2025, has appeared in The Walking Dead, Doctor Sleep, Greenland, and Stranger Things.  He is a junior bodybuilder, interested in promoting fitness among teens and tweens. 

In Greenland (2020), Roger and his Mom and Dad (Gerard Butler, left) must flee cross-country to safety after a comet-Apocalypse.  Whoops, they forgot to bring his insulin. 

Josh makes two friends, Kyle (Peyton Jackson, left) and Gabriella (Trinity Jo-Li Bliss).

More after the break.  Yes, I'm getting to the review.

Raising Dion Episode 2.2: Gay kid with superpowers and his scoobies fight monsters, deal with a helicopter Mom

There are lots of movie and tv shows about teenagers discovering that they have superpowers, but not many about eigh-year olds. In Raising Dion, single mom Nicole must deal with her own problems and her son's superpowers, which draw the attention of the usual medical specialists, dark-government agencies, and monstrous supervillains.  Gavin Munn plays Dion's best bud.  To see if they have a gay-subtext relationship,  I reviewed Episode 2.2, about a new boy in school, figuring that this was the episode where Gavin first appears.

Prelude: Mom and Dion off a giant smokey monster in naked human form.  So far, so good.  The monster leaves, and a guy named Pat (Jason Ritter, left) is left (fully clothed).  He explains: "It took a whole day for my body to completely reform, and another to walk to the nearest town, where I decided to start a new life."

Scene 1: Zoom out: he's being interrogated, claiming that he did unspeakable things because the Crooked Man was controlling him.  And now it is controlling someone else!  Big Boss Suzanne doesn't believe him.

Scene 2: Guys in Hazmat suits investigating a giant crater.  There are footprints down there -- maybe the security guard. They call him to check, but he's at home with a disgusting pustulating growth on his neck.  They block off the crater so no school kids fall in.

At that moment, Mom and Dion (Ja'siah Young) drive past. Dion, now ten years old, is troubled, but Mom tells him that there is nothing to worry about.  He praises his superpower trainer, Tevin (Rome Flynn, top photo). Mom says "I'm glad you like him."  Next subject of conversation: the upcoming musical, which Esperanza is counting on him for.  Does Dion have a girlfriend?  TV writers are hesitant about portraying gay pre-teens or even teenagers, but they'll happily have toddlers expressing heterosexual desire.

Scene 3: At school, Dion is drawing in the abs on a muscular superhero.  Questioned by his friend Jonathan (Gavin Munn, already a regular), he claims that they are power stabilizers to help him go faster.  "Um...ok," Gavin says, rather obviously pretending not to know that Dion is gay.  I'd better take another peek at Dion's interest in his superpower trianer.

Their third friend Esperanza (Sammi Haney), who has a unique body type and uses a wheelchair, wants to know when they're going to investigate the mysterious crater. How about today after school?  Next, she has picked out the songs they're going to use for their auditions for the school musical.  BFF Jonathan says there's no need: he has his song picked out, and it's going to be awesome!

During class, the new kid Brayden (Griffin Robert Faulkner) keeps glaring at Dion. 

Scene 4: B Plot with Mom and her sister Kat discussing where their lives went wrong. 

Cut to school: after class, New Kid Brayden reads the minds of the kids around him, mostly criticizing him for being strange.  Dion and his buds friend-up to him: "I know how hard it is being the new kid."  They ask him to audition for the school musical.

Scene 5: Out in the hall, Crooked Man tells Brayden to "get him alone!", so he asks Dion for a tour of the school. BFF Jonathan wants to come, too, but Brayden mind controls him into agreeing that it should just be the two of them. 

They walk down a deserted hallway.  Dion asks Brayden why he moved to Atlanta.  "To find you."  I don't think he means "we were meant to be together."  

Crooked Man smokes out of Brayden and tries to grab Dion, but fails.

Scene 6:  After school.  Mom arrives to pick up Dion, but Esperanza stalls her, and at the crater, BFF Jonathan stalls the hazmat guy, so Dion can zap down and investigate. It's got glowing purple flowers with undulating stamens that reach out for him -- ulp, time to zap away! 

Scene 7:  At the Bio Institute, while Dion is changing into his superhero-workout clothes, his trainer Tevin asks Mom out.  I'll skip the Mom and Patrick plots.  Actually, they take a while.  I guess child stars can't work a lot of hours.

Scene 8: Brayden at home -- he lives by himself -- eating pizza.  He criticizes the Crooked Man smoke-monster for trying to attack Dion, when he wasn't strong enough.  "Well, he was just so close, and I couldn't help it."   Crooked Man is not quite as scary when he whines to a little kid.  

Next criticism: "Why are you using the weird flowers to build an army? Why can't you kill Dion all by  yourself, you wimp?"  Crooked Man doesn't answer; he just complements Brayden: "You're making me stronger.  Soon I will be ready." 

Next: when the job is done, will Crooked Man abandon Brayden?  "No, I'll keep you with me."  Ten to one he's lying.

Scene 8:  Dion in his room, reading comic books.  Why is there a map of Scandinavia on his wall?   Suddenly Brayden appears!  He explains: "I'm not actually in your room, I'm in your head.  I have powers, too."  While Dion stares, he says "I think we're going to be best friends."  Uh-oh, that sounds sinister.  The end.

The Dion plot is a little thin, so lI'll add a scene from the next episode:

The Musical Auditions:   Dion's main friends and Brayden compete for Dion's attention.  Brayden uses his superpowers to zap the two of them into a field (a boring field?  How about Disney World?). But Dion still chooses his main friends.  Brayden roils with jealousy.

The femme diector, Mr. Kwame (J. Harrison Ghee, who won a Tony for his role in Some Like It Hot ), uses the opening of Fame: "you got big dreams?  You want fame?  Well, fame costs, and here's where you start paying -- in sweat!" This is a fourth grade musical review, not Broadway!  

Ulp, all of the kids sing "Oh, Susannah!"  Badly!  "Fosse, forgive me!" Mr. Kwame cries. Then Esperanza does a mesmerizing performance of  "Beautiful Dreamer." 

Jonathan doesn't audition; he uses pyrotechnics and confetti cannons to push for the job of stage manager.  The end.

Beefcake: None, but I included the butts of Jason Ritter and Rome Flynn after the break.

Heterosexism: Just among the adults.  I researched the series, and none of the kids is involved in a heterosexual romance.

Gay Characters: One scene implying that Dion is gay.  There are probably hints in other episodes, too, but I doubt they go beyond.  

According to AfterEllen, Mom's sister Kat gets a "surprise! she's a lesbian" moment that is never referenced again.  There are rainbow posters around the school, but I can't read what they say.

Gay Subtext: Dion and Brayden have a kid version of a toxic romantic relationship, complete with gaslight, blaming, and abuse.  Nothing with Dion and Jonathan in this episode. 

My Grade:  Esperanza steals every scene, and Jonathan is amazing as a pre-teen operator.  Dion is the morose, troubled Peter Parker type.  Mom is definitely over protective.  Kid plotline: A-.

Overall, this seems to be Mom's story, about the problems of raising a "special needs" kid and dealing with the season's Big Bad.  Grown-up plotline: C+.

Butts after the break.  Guess which belongs to whom:

Sherlock & Daughter: A late Victorian red thread case, with gay actors, a lesbian subtext, Dougray bum, and Kasper cock

 

Since Arthur Conan Doyle began publishing stories of the Baker Street detective and his...um...roomate, hundreds of movie and tv adaptions of the Sherlock Holmes mythos have appeared.  Many depict Sherlock and Watson as gay-subtext buddies or even boyfriends, but I don't hold much hope out for Sherlock & Daughter, now streaming on MAX. Having a daughter pegs him as heterosexual, and with those two sorting through clues, Dr. Watson is bound to be relegated to a few walk-on "Hello, old chap" lines.  

But David Thewlis (Sherlock) played gay poet Paul Verlaine against Leonardo DiCaprio's Rimbaud, and almost-gay Lupus in the Harry Potter movies. And he has shown us his d*ck several times on screen, so I'm reviewing the first episode anyway.

Scene 1: London, 1896 (Sherlock is in his mid 40s). He takes a hansom cab through a late-Victorian cityscape to the crime scene, a giant mansion, and greets Inspectors Bullivant and Whitlock (Aidan McArdle, left early photo).  The kidnappers dragged the boy from his room, but the maid intervened, and they fled.

Uh-oh, Sherlock finds a red string on the boy's wrist, refuses the case, and rushes out.  

"But his father is the Italian Ambassador." 

"Tough, I'm out."

Scene 2: New York, still 1896.  Amelia bursts into a cheap hotel, past the prostitutes, and gets a room.  A bellhop named Cooper (Kasper Andreasen) offers to carry her luggage, but he actually leads her to the alley and tries to rob her.  She pulverizes him, but he takes her purse anyway.

Left: Kasper Andreason, from Banbridge, Northern Ireland, hit the newspapers in 2017, when the 12--year old raised thousands of pounds for children with cancer with a paperclip swap.  In 2020, he flew to London to interview the stars of the movie 1917.  

Age 21 as of this writing, Kasper has 5 acting credits on the IMDB, including the paranormal teen Silverpoint and Mordlichter - Tod auf den Färöer Inseln, so I'm guessing that he's fluent in German.

A more...um...intimate portrayal after the break

At the steamship ticket office, Amelia has no more money, but she offers a blueprint for a machine that pasteurizes milk, so you can bring it on ships.  You're offering that to a ticket agent?  How about a CEO?  He doesn't want it, so how about her mother's watch?

Scene 3: Back on Baker Street, Sherlock looks at a mysterious letter he received, while his housekeeeper, Mrs. Halligan, brings his dinner.  He rejects it: the egg is overcooked. 

She scoffs: she only agreed to help out because he's taken the case of the kidnapping of her sister, Mrs. Hudson, and Dr. Watson.  Why would that require you to take a job as his housekeeper? 

"Tough, it's simple instructions. 4 minutes 12 seconds to boil an egg for toast soldiers.  Go find someone with the brains to do it properly." Toast soldiers must be a Victorian thing.

When she storms out, he looks at the message: "Lamp in the window tonight to show you will observe the thread or Watson and Hudson (the housekeeper) will pay like your maid."  Next he opens a box with a red thread and severed finger.

Scene 4: On the steamer en route to London, Amelia is also playing with a red thread.  A rich girl in a pink cape approaches and starts flirting voraciously.  Careful, ladies: Oscar Wilde's trial just ended.

Oh, well, what the heck: let's change course for "Lesbos, where kisses, languishing or joyous, burning as the sun's light, cool as melons,  adorn the nights and the glorious days" (Baudelaire).

Back stories: Amelia's father lives on Baker Street (hint, hint), and the Girl's father is the new U.S. Ambassador to the U.K.  "By the way, Papa is throwing me a ball to celebrate my coming out. Won't you come as my date?" You're quite an ally, Dad.  Yes, I know she means coming out into society.

Uh-oh, the girl's chaperone, Lady Violet, aka the Wicked Witch of the West, appears, drags her away, and warns Amelia to back off, or she'll put her in the brig. The Girl is going to marry the aristocrat that her parents choose; she doesn't have time for indulgences like lesbian romance!  

Scene 5: Amelia stays out of sight until they reach New York.  Then the Girl spots her, rushes up, and assures her that class distinctions are meaningless, they should become very close friends.  "Call on me anytime.  Anytime." 

Native American actress Blu Hunt (left) identifies as "super queer," and played a queer character on "The Originals."

Amelia makes her way through London's Chinatown, gets cruised by a prostitute (what, is she wearing a Pride flag?), barters food from an African lady, and finds a secluded park bench to sleep on.  Why not go directly to Baker Street and reunite with your Dad?

More after the break. Caution: Explicit.