"Sexy Beast": Ruaridh is gay for pay, Farley explores gay trauma, Gal shows his d*ck, and Vampire Bill gawks at guys.

 After reviewing Elspeth, starring the actress who played Arlene on the vampire soap opera True Blood actor, I decied to look for recent projects involving Stephen Moyer, who played Vampire Bill.  

I found him playing Teddy, the main villain in the British television series Sexy Beast (2024), a prequel to the 2000 movie:  he hires thieves and best buds Gal (James McArdle, left) and Don (Emun Elliot) for increasingly dangerous jobs, thus jeopardizing the relationships with the Women of Their Dreams. 

There is also a "Young Teddy,"  Ruaridh Moluca, who appears in a clip on AZ Nude Men smooching a heavy-lidded decadent gay guy while a woman is being strangled.  

So, is Teddy gay, or was he a straight "gay for pay" hustler in his youth?

The scene appears at the beginning of Episode 1.8, the finale: 

Scene 1: During the 1980s, Young Teddy tells either a femme man or a woman to "just get through it, don't ask names.  Think of the money."  His companion is rather looking forward to it.

They enter a nondescript building.  An elderly, decadent man in a bathrobe approaches, calls Teddy a "tart," gropes him, then leers at his companion -- Daniel -- and leads him into the main room. 

It's what straight people think a gay party is like, men in suits looking decadent by candlelight, with shirtless waiters milling about. A leatherman and a person with long hair snort poppers.  

"He's 21," Teddy tells the elderly man, who doesn't believe it.

Cut to moaning, leering, and decadent looks.  Teddy goes down on the elderly man, then sits beside him to drink.  He sees Daniel being gang-banged, hand-on-mouth, looking terrified.  The decadent men beat off while watching.

"He's suffocating!" Teddy exclaims.  He tries to intervene, but the elderly man stops him.  The participants include Sir Henry Coulson and Sir Anthony Jones (the husband of Princess Margaret) -- very powerful -- so  keep to yourself.  Young Teddy watches in dismay as Daniel dies.

In the present, Teddy remembers and is depressed during Guy Fawkes night, with fireworks exploding over Big Ben. 

More after the break

Elsbeth Episode 1.9: The lady from "True Blood" solves murders, with a jazz pianist, an OnlyFans hunk, a Christmas gay tease, and Kwanten's bum

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Matt Smith: Who doesn't want to see the penis of Prince Philip, Charles Manson, Christopher Isherwood, Superworm, and Dr. Who?

 

We've been watching the 2011 series of Doctor Who, the seemingly endless British sci-fi series that sends the last remaining Time Lord through time and space to save Earth, an alien planet, or the entire universe.  Again and again.  Oddly, when his world-saving takes him to modern day Britain, there are plenty of exteriors, but when it is a distant planet or the far future, all we see are endless corridors. 

Doctors regenerate every few years, getting new bodies and personalities.  Right now it's Matt Smith, an effervescent, jokey type, with an inner trauma that sometimes comes out.  After all, he saw the destruction of his people, and he's over 1,000 years old, so dozens of human companions have died, gotten lost, or left him to go on with their lives.

Matt Smith has appeared as the Doctor in dozens of projects outside the show itself: videos exploring odd corners of his universe, video games, a lot of four-episode miniseries, spin-offs starring former companions Sarah Jane and Amy Pond

The children's program Blue Peter. 

Comic Relief: Red Nose Day, An Adventure in Time and Space...I got tired of counting.  You have to be British to really understand his amazing popularity.

The Doctor would be enough for a career, but Matt has played a wide range of other characters, mostly based on real people:

Christopher Isherwood, the gay author of A Passage to India and Maurice, in Christopher and His Kind, a 2011 adaption of his memoirs. Left, the one without the biceps.

Rowing star Bert Bushnell in Bert & Dickie, 2012.  Neither was gay.

Prince Philip, the consort of Queen Elizabeth, in The Crown, 2016-7.

Robert Maplethorpe, the controversial gay artist, in Mapplethorpe: The Director's Cut , 2018  

Left, the one with the ring

Hippie cult leader Charles Manson in Charlie Say, 2018

Plus a variety of fictional characters. As far as I can tell, they're all heterosexual.  I guess he only takes gay roles if they're of historical significance.

A detective fighting witchcraft.

An evil clone with a nice bulge.

A zombie-fighting parson in the Regency era.

The case worker of a refugee family facing evil

An evil spirit in the psychedelic 60s

A tourist in Morocco for whom things go terribly wrong

More Matt after the break

"White Lotus": Checking Season 3 for gay characters, homophobia, Thai guys, and Patrick Schwarzenegger's dick

Believe it or not, I'm actually thinking of giving The White Lotus Season 3 a shot.  It takes place in Thailand.  I've visited: beautiful temples and monasteries, the Grand Palace.  I took a class in Theravada Buddhism at the Institute of Buddhist Studies. I'm into Asian guys.

Sure, it's produced by major homophobe Mike White, and the earlier seasons had some of the most offensive gay predator stereotypes, but...it's Thailand.  

But before investing, let's see how homophobic it is with the "Season 3" anad the "Coming Up in Season 3" trailers.   

Trailer:

1. An Anglo husband, wife, and three young adult children, and a middle aged woman come ashore, followed by a plus-sized African-American woman, while the voiceover tells us, "At the end of the week, you'll be a different person." 

I think they are Timothy Ratliff (Jason Isaacs, left), wife, daughter, and sons; and Belinda. 

2. Montage of female Thai dancers, Rick (Walton Goggins) kissing his girlfriend, and Three Women crying, screaming, and jumping out of a window.  The voiceover:  "What happens in Thailand, stays in Thailand."

3. Establishing shots of the resort, with the manager, maybe Fabian (Christian Feidrel),  saying "Our hotel is the best in the world."  

Montage of the Three Women hugging in the pool, Rick kissing his girlfriend, someone entering the ocean fully clothed, a ceramic monkey, gunshots, and drowning.  So we'll have some murders.

4. The Three Women toast each other. "To Thailand, and a week of memories."  Some couples on a boat. 

Then back to the Ratliff family from Scene 1.  Mom is happy that her children are all together, but they are miserable. 

5. Belinda from Scene 1 getting and giving massages, so she can bring her skills back to Maui.  I guess she's going to become a masseuse.

6. Rick and his girlfriend going to dinner.  She tells him that this is a wellness resort, so he should get a facial, because everyone thinks that he's her father.  She will help him find his joy again.

7. The Three Women hugging and laughing. One lies down in a bikini. 

8. Tax Evader Timothy Ratliff gets a phone call. He won't tell his family what it's about, because "We're poor now and Daddy's going to prison."

9. A masked robber invades a jewelry store.  Maybe he's Timothy, trying to make some money?  A cop, maybe Gaitok (Tayme Thapthimthong) runs out to apprehend him,  and gets clobbered.  A new security guard is told, "Your job is to protect the hotel."

10. Cop Gaitok says "I don't want to hurt anyone," and fires his gun, while his girlfriend tells him "You've got to be stronger than this."

11. Tax Evader Timothy Ratliff asks his wife, "What if we lost everything?"  She would "not want to live." Uh-oh, she's going to be murdered.

12. The Three Women laughing and hugging some more.  One cries.

13. One of the Ratliff sons, I think Lochlan (Sam Nivola), asks his brother Saxon (Patrick Schwarzenegger, left),  "What if this life is just a test, to see if we can be better people?" over a montage of a shirtless guy approaching Massseuse Belinda, Rick holding a snake, and Cop Gaitok and his girlfriend watching a show and laughing. 

Saxon finds the "Life is a test" theory ridiculous.

14. A shirtless Saxon twirls a woman, Timothy pulls out a gun, fireworks, a woman in a bikini, Rick kissing his girlfriend, partying, Buddha, partying, a woman's legs, a corpse, screaming.

15. A man tells Belinda the Masseuse, "Go big or go home."

The only male character not shown with a girlfriend is Lochlan Ratliff.  Let's try the "Upcoming Trailer:" After the break

The Jonas Brothers: I wanna be like you

 

The Jonas Brothers, consisting of Nick (born 1992), Joe (born 1989, left), and Kevin (born 1987), were already popular performers, recording several albums and appearing on MTV, the Cartoon Network, and Nickelodeon --  not to mention the White House -- before Disney took notice around 2006.

But after that the group was a Disney Channel juggernaut, recording new versions of movie classics like "I Want to Be Like You" (from The Jungle Book), appearing on Hannah Montana and Camp Rock, and finally getting two tv series of their own, The Jonas Brothers: Living the Dream (2008-2010) and Jonas (2009-2010).

That didn't keep them from releasing new songs: 14 singles and 16 music videos between 2005 and 2010, plus two more in 2013.

And from releasing beefcake photos.  Like Justin Bieber, they drew the special interest of fans looking for random arousal.  Joe seemed especially vulnerable; his moments were tagged "joners."

Like most boy bands, their lyrics were heterosexist, with lots of "girl! girl! girl!"  But some dropped pronouns.  And their version of  "I Wanna Be Like You"  sounds decidedly homoerotic:

What I desire is man's red fire
To make my dream come true
Give me the secret, mancub
Clue me what to do
Give me the power of man's red flower
So I can be like you

I wouldn't mind getting a little of that power of man's red flower myself.

The brothers are gay allies.   In an interview with The Advocate in 2012, Nick (left) noted that they loved their gay fans: "They’ve been incredible over the years. My brothers and I totally look forward to meeting them, because they really respond to our style."

In 2013 they appeared on the cover of Out magazine.

Their boy band days are long past, but Jonas Brothers are stil performing together.  Joe has also embarked on a solo career, and appeared as himself in tv shows like Dash and Lily and The Righteous Gemstones.

Joe nude, sort of, after the break

Giovanni Ribisi: Cute on "Friends," then all dreary, depressing, homophobic art-house movies. At least he shows his d*ck

 

I first saw Giovanni Ribisi on Friends, where he had a recurring role as Phoebe's cute, naive younger brother Frank (1995-2003).  Nice biceps, buddy.

His plotlines were extensively heterosexist -- it was Friends, after all.   Eventually he falls in love with a much older woman (Debra Jo Rupp of That 70s Show), and asks Phoebe to be the surrogate mother for his child.

But the 21-year old actor, son of a talent agent and a musician, had been on screen since he was 9 years old, with recurring roles in The New Leave It to Beaver, Davis Rules, My Two Dads, The Wonder Years, and Family Album, and guest shots practically everywhere.

Here Teddy and Boz (Giovanni, Stephen Dorff) rib their "dateless amigo" Bud Bundy on a 1989 episode of Married With Children. 

As a young adult, Giovanni had a lean, rugged frame and a handsome but quirky face.  I got such a strong gay vibe that I expected a lot of gay characters or subtexts in his work.  Instead, he played a lot of brooding, depressed heterosexuals in art-house movies: 

SubUrbia (1996): a group of teens in small-town Austin, Texas (of all places) experience angst and want to escape.   Nice physique, buddy

Lost Highway (1997):  A neo-noir by David Lynch, so of course it makes no sense.  No men show their stuff, as one expects from Mr. Lynch, but there are lots of lady parts.

First Love, Last Rites (1997): Two Generation X-ers, Giovanni and a girl, do bedroom stuff and are bored.  

Nice backside, buddy.

Scotch and Milk (1998): Written, directed, and starring Adam Goldberg: "A brooding self-styled swinger loses himself in booze and night clubbing amongst similar other men. Meanwhile he pines for the woman he really loves."  In spite of the gay tease, there aren't any gay characters.  Giovanni plays his friend.

More after the break

Gemstones Episode 2.7: Holding hands among the yurts and eating pizza for desserts. With a nude Jonathan Bennett bonus

Previous: Episode 2.6, Continued: Torsten gets it up, Keefe holds Kelvin's dick, and Sky is skyclad

In the last episode, Kelvin and Keefe were ejected from the God Squad and kicked out of their house, and Eli was shot several tis and crashed his car. Gulp, he's dead!

Title: "And Infants Shall Rule Over Them."  Isaiah 3.4: "I will make boys their princes, and infants shall rule over them."   Isaiah is describing the upcoming collapse of Jerusalem after social roles are overturned.  We're going to see Jesse and Kelvin as princes here, with their Daddy gone.

When you get tired of discussing erections: Whew, Eli's not dead after all, but he's in a coma. Jesse/Amber and Judy/BJ hug and cry at his bedside.  Kelvin is noticeably absent.  Then the siblings go out into the parking lot and throw up multiple times. followed by the partners.   Is this a common response to grief, or did they all have bad sushi for dinner?

Ok, we're not tired of discussing erections yet:  We cut to Keefe trapped in the God Squad's tiger cage.  There are several openings to look through, but he prefers the glory hole, as if awaiting his next cock.  This time, Sky (Joel Rush, top photo) pushes through, hitting him in the eye!  

Sky didn't really want a blow job, or he would have waited for Keefe to move his mouth into position.  He wanted to tease Keefe, demonstrating what he couldn't have.  The God Squad guys laugh and high-five each other.  In gay communities, and actually among heterosexuals also, the person who performs fellatio is often denigrated, considered physically and socially inferior. Keefe's activity with Kelvin apparently brands him as "a bottom." 

Keefe collapses, screaming in pain, and starts to cry.  He has died and gone to hell, being punished for Kelvin's sins -- a veritable Christ figure.  Note that Keefe undergoes a symbolic death and resurrection in every season.

When the God Squad guys leave, Kelvin appears with food and toiletries.  Interestingly, Keefe calls him by the formal "Brother Kelvin."  He isn't sure that he wants a romantic relationship with this guy who lets him suffer in a tiger cage instead of saying "Game's over! Let Keefe out!" and calling security if the God Squad resists.  But Christ-Keefe doesn't even suggest release; instead, he advises Kelvin that he's as powerful as Eli, just as Jesus was as powerful as his Father.  

Beauty and the Beast:  In church, Jesse announces that Eli was gunned down while driving on Long Point Road. 

Geography note: This is a real road in a suburb of Charleston.  It leads past the Seacoast Church, a megachurch that closely resembles the Salvation Center. 

Afterwards, the family is at their post-church dinner at Jason's Steakhouse, when Kelvin arrives, wearing a dark purple robe, carefully holding his glass of orange drink. 

They yell at him for not being around late;y, but he isn't ready to show himself in public yet. "I am a beast!"  Jesse quips that the robe makes him look like the beauty from Beauty and the Beast.

Next they argue over who will fill the power vacuum left by Eli's absence, until Martin has had enough: "Can't you just be kind to each other? Self-absorbed, loud, arrogant fucking assholes."  That's about the size of it.

Kelvin agrees:"Y'all are a bunch of a-holes."  Jesse points out that he was talking about "you, too, dick-lips."  The term refers to lips that would be especially nice to receive fellatio from: a call-back to the glory hole scene earlier, and yet another reference to Kelvin being gay.  

The Return of Baby Billy: After scenes where Judy promises to become a better person and Gideon announces that he's leaving to take a stunt job, BJ and Tiffany track Baby Billy's movements from his credit card statement.  He's in Winston-Salem, spending money at Sbarro, Bojangles, Tommy Hilfinger, Aeropostale, and the Fossil Watch Store.  

Timeline alert: the dates were all in mid October, 2022. This episode aired on February 13, 2022.  

Tiffany can sound out most of the words; apparently BJ has been teaching her to read.  He has become a father figure. 

In Winston-Salem, Baby Billy is recording a commercial for his new scam, a coconut-flavored health elixir that will cure every disease, even COVID.  Dude, that's false advertising, a criminal offense. On his way out of the studio, BJ, Judy, and Tiffany accost him.  First he tries to hide; then he claims that he was trying to make money to support Tiffany and their son; then he assaults BJ and runs away. 

Jesse's Plan:  After discussing the possibility of blowing up Junior's house and having a heart-to-heart with Martin, Jesse reveals to the siblings his new plan: he'll tell the congregation and the news media that Eli is recovering, and give them his hospital and room number, so the listening Cycle Ninjas will know to where to strike again.  Except Eli won't be there: Jesse will clear the hospital and lay in wait, ready to gun them down. Can you really clear an entire hospital? The siblings think that it's a crazy idea, but he talks them into it: "Let's lie to the church like a fucking family." 

Cut to the ambulances and army jeeps moving Eli to the safe house. Which happens to be his own mansion; is that wise?  Judy, Amber, and the kids join him.

On the third day he rose from the dead:  Meanwhile, Keefe sneaks back to the God Squad compound and tells Keefe: "I'm busting you out of here."  

Wait. When Eli visited, Keefe was already in the tiger cage.  Then he was shot, and they announced that he was in a coma in the Sunday service.  IT'S SUNDAY AGAIN!  Has Keefe been in that cage for over a week?  That would be inconceivably brutal.  Besides it wouldn't fit with the Christ motif: Keefe has to descend "into hell" on Friday, and get resurrected on Sunday.   I think there is a problem with the show's continuity. 

"Are we taking back the house?" Keefe  asks.  I'd be asking a lot more than that, just before I called the police and my lawyer.

"We are ejecting," Kelvin answers. "We'll move in with the rest of the family in the safe house." They run from the Tiger Cage hand in hand, then through the yard to freedom. 

Notice that Kelvin does not have an instrumental reason for offering his hand: Keefe is already standing.  It is purely a gesture of affection..

 This is a significant scene: Kelvin admits that Keefe is a member of the family, and invites a public display of affection that establishes them as a romantic couple.  A scene ago he yelled at Keefe for trying to hold his hand.  Now he initiates it.  

Question: Keefe is wearing only a jockstrap.  Where do they intend to find clothes? Kelvin had to move their stuff out of the master bedroom suite,  but it would still be in the house, right?  

Pizza and Cycle Ninjas:  At the safe house, Keefe goes to work on embedding himself into the family.  First he advises Kelvin to visit his father (and calls him Brother instead of the formal Brother Kelvin).  Then he tries to distract Jesse's kids from the crisis with what he thinks are funny stories.  While they are eating pizza, he notes that as a young boy, he often had pizza for every meal, even for dessert. That's not funny, it's sad.  Where were your parents? 

Personal note: My aunt is only ten years older than me, so I remember her in high school, bringing boyfriends around.  They would invariably try to score points by telling inane "funny" stories.  

We cut to Kelvin visiting the comatose Eli.  He admits that the God Squad was kind of dumb, but he just started it to make Eli proud. And invite a lot of musclemen to the steam showers.  He prays, promising to "never succumb to hubris again" if  God heals Eli.  And Eli speaks!  A miracle! The end.

Oh, right, we still have 15 minutes to go.  Jesse, the men in the family, and the mercenaries waiting in the cleared hospital.   Four Cycle Ninjas appear, armed with rifles. One is shot, and the others flee.  Jesse follows, knocks a second off his motorcycle, and shoves a taser up his butt, enacting an anal rape. Gideon chases and subdues the others.  The end.

Shaun Lynch and Jonathan Bennett after the break

"Ghosts," Episode 3.10: Nigel and Isaac's wedding day, with an adult performer, a vengeful Puritan, a naked Viking, and a lot of plot complications

 

In the British version of Ghosts (2019-23), the gay ghost is closeted, with a "disgraceful secret" that he never reveals to his housemates.  I heard that the American version (2021-25) was better at gay representation, so I watched Episode 3.10, "Isaac's Wedding"

The Premise: Sam (a woman) and Jay (Utkarsh Ambudkar) inherit a house filled with the ghosts of people who have died there or nearby, and for some reason can't move on to the afterlife.  Since she was dead for a few minutes after an accident, Sam can see and hear them, but Jay can't.

Nigel (John Hartman, right), a British soldier who died during the Revolutionary War, has been in a relationship with Isaac (Brandon Scott Jones, left), the Continental soldier who he killed (by accident)).  They are going to get married today, but Isaac is worried about his ongoing fantasy about Chris, the adult performer hired for his bachelor party (the humans told him that he was performing for an empty room).  

Isaac asks Sassapis (Roman Zaragosa), a Native American who died in the 16th century, about his attraction to the stripper.  Sassapis reassures him that it's just cold feet.

The DJ hired to play at the wedding arrives -- and to everyone's surprise, it's Chris (Deniz Akdeniz)!  He's gay, he hates the show Hamilton, and he has no sense of smell -- all points in his favor.  When he eats crab and has an allergic reaction, Isaac secretly wishes that he will die, so they can date -- but he survives.

Meanwhile Peter (Richie Moriarty), a 1980s scout leader who accidentally shot an arrow through his neck, has discovered that he can leave the house by poltergeisting family members, so he follows his descendants to a Caribbean vacation, and meets a female ghost from his time period.  They have a passionate affair, but then he starts to evaporate.  

Back at the house, the wedding begins, with Sassapis officiating.  As Nigel and Issac exchange vows, Peter returns from the Caribbean, finds that he is whole again, and interrupts with his shout of jubiliation.  He tells the story of his trip and the intensity of his love, and Isaac realizes that there's something missing in his relationship with Nigel.  He backs out at the last minute.  

Not noticing, lounge singer Alberta, who was poisoned during the Prohibition Era, starts singing "At Last" anyway.  Nigel runs off crying.

Later, Isaac's housemates agree with his decision.  He's 300 years old, and he's been out for only a few years, so he shouldn't rush into a relationship right away.  He needs time to grow.

More after the break