Johnny Berchtold: I have good news and bad news. The good news is his cock.

I researched Johnny Berchtold, who plays the gay-vague or maybe canonically gay college student Richard Beck on Season 3 of Reacher.   

I have good news and bad news.

The good news: He is hung.

 

The bad news: The d*ck pic is from the movie A Hard Problem (2021).  Johnny plays a guy who tries to reconnect with his sister and recruits The Girl to help him clean out his deceased mother's house. Heteronormativity all the way down.

The good news:  In addition to Reacher, Johnny has a gay-vague role in  The Passenger (2023). Violent loose-cannon Benson (Kyle Gallner) decides to "fix" beset-upon fast-food worker  Randy (Johnny), killing his bullies, helping him stand up to his overbearing mother, and so on.

The script was heteronormative, but queer director Carter Smith had the actors push up the homoeroticism until they are almost a gay couple.  (Spoiler: one dies at the end).

The bad news: I couldn't find any other gay or gay-vague roles.

In Tiny Pretty Things (2023), his character is married to Claire (Katherine Hahn of Agatha All Along).

In spite of the whimsical pun-title, Dog Gone (2023) is about a dying guy and his dog, who is also dying.  He's probably straight, but I'm not sure: the plot synopsis was so disturbing that I just skimmed through.

In Gaslight (2021), which is about Watergate, not Victorian England, Johnny plays Jay Jennings, the estranged son of Martha Mitchell (wife of Attorney General John Mitchell).  He's married to a woman.

In spite of the whimsical title,  Life as a Mermaid (2016-2018) is a live-action drama about two mermaid sisters living among humans.  Johnny plays the Barnacle King, sort of a nerdish character with disgusting barnacles attached to his face.  He has a male sidekick, but I couldn't stomach watching long enough to determine if he is gay or gay-vague.

Fun fact: Life as a Mermaid is also a documentary about transgender people in Borneo.

The good news: Johnny is way into horror.  His instagram is full of photos of him in bloody and monster makeup, and getting Chucky as a roommate.  

More after the break. Caution: Explicit.

"The Other Two," Episode 1.6: Cary goes shirtless, Chase twerks, and there's enough bulges and butts for everyone

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Gemstones Episode 2.9 Continued: A Perfect Christian, the Lion King, naked twinks, and lovers in old photographs.

Previous:  Episode 2.9: Who killed Thaniel?  Will Keefe ever get a place at the table?  Can we see some Gemstone alums naked?

Keefe stands alone: Keefe sits next to Kelvin on the way to the Zion's Landing ground-breaking party.  He stands next to BJ while the siblings perform.  But afterwards, he goes off to make new friends: he tries to impress them by doing the Worm, and is upset when he fails.  

Why doesn't he interact with Kelvin, or anyone in the family?  It's as if they told him "You can come, but don't be seen with us.  We don't want people thinking that you and Kelvin are together." 

Baby Billy Returns: As Tiffany sits in a cabana, Baby Billy appears!  He tells her "I'm back for good,"  Judy isn't having it "You've got a lot of nerve coming here after what you did!" 

He ignores Judy and asks Tiffany to take him back.  She refuses to answer, saying that she has to go to the bathroom.

Keefe and the Perfect Christian: Meanwhile, Keefe and Joe Jonas, the world's most perfect Christian, head to the same porta-potty.  They are so busy gazing at the guy who just exited that they both reach for the handle at the same time, and clasp hands.  It is accidental, but still a strangely erotic moment.  

Tiffany pushes them aside and rushes into the porta-potty.  Joe Jonas and Keefe continue to flirt as she goes into labor.   Don't they, like, have to go?

Personal note: Although they were only on stage for a few minutes, I used their budding friendship for a fan fiction, "Keefe's Date with Joe Jonas."  Actually he has the date with a guy on Joe's PR team.

The Lion King: Later, a crowd has gathered around the porta-potty.  Didn't anyone fetch a doctor? 

Baby Billy rushes up and asks Keefe, Pontius, and Abraham if they've seen Tiffany.  They point. She said she was going to the bathroom, you dolt! Why did it take you so long to figure it out?

Tiffany emerges, stating that she had her baby: it fell into the toilet.Gross callback to the "toilet baby" discussion.  Baby Billy reaches down and pulls the baby out.  Then, in a scene reflecting Simba's birth in The Lion King, he holds it over his head for the crowd to see.  Everyone applauds. 

Lyle's Revenge: Eli gets a phone call: Junior has used his underworld connections to trace the origin of the weapons the Cycle Ninjas used. They were sold to some boys in a gang in Texas -- where Lyle Lissons is from!  Don't jump to conclusions, Eli -- Texas is a big state.

On the beach, Jesse, still unaware of Lyle's involvement, is handing over the investment money.  Suddenly a woman appears, yelling at Lyle about the disappearance of her husband: "He was working with you, to get information on the Butterfields!  He told me all about it!"  

Finally Jesse starts to figure it out.  He confronts Lyle, who admits to sending the Cycle Ninjas to kill Eli --  he thought he was "doing you a solid," freeing up some money so Jesse could invest.  Besides, hasn't he often wished that his father would hurry up and die?  No, of course not.  But, now, worried that he might tell, Lyle attacks. They fight, and Jesse hits and kills him with a rock from the David and Goliath slingshot he used to threaten Junior. 

He rushes to his family -- um, hang on for a moment. Check out Kelvin's ultra-femme outfit and mannerisms.  He's really come out loud and proud.  He was the macho Messiah of the Musclemen an episode ago, and now he's my Aunt Sadie. 

And why isn't Keefe there?  He's at the porta-potties, of course, but there isn't even a chair that he vacated.

Jesse announces that he's murdered someone.  The family follows him to the beach, but Lyle is alive, and Lindsey is armed!  She shoots BJ in the femoral artery, and forces the others to swim out into the ocean.  BJ will bleed out in 2-4 minutes unless he gets first aid.  He's doomed!

Lots of Reconciliations: One month later, we see Chad and his wife reconciling at Amber's marital group. I didn't even know that was a plot arc.   

Then Judy and BJ, who has miraculously recovered, say goodbye to Baby Billy, Tiffany, and baby Lionel as they head home. 

Nobody ain't inviting no kids to the steam showers:   Kelvin and Keefe  have started a Youth Squad for 12-15 year olds. "The whole time we've been searching for our calling," Kelvin says, "It's been right under our noses: these beautiful, innocent chil dren."

He continues, evoking a Judean retreat: "We could groom these k ids into the next generation of muscle men."  Keefe suddenly realizes that people could get the wrong idea, and suggests getting chaperones and permission slips.But Kelvin isn't ready to start planning yet; he's just brainstorming, thinking of the possibilities.  

I read fan responses to this scene before actually watching it: anger, disgust, and dismay: "Please don't let them be creeps.  Please don't let them be creeps.  Please don't let them be creeps."  The "They're straight buddies" camp was ecstatic, because who would give gay characters lines like that?  When I watched, I was upset by the structure: everyone else gets a heartfelt scene, and the guys get pe dophile jokes. But one fan who grew up in an Evangelical church set me straight, so to speak.  I paraphrase a bit:

This IS a touching scene!  Friggin' homophobe, thinking that because the guys are gay, they must like little ones!  

The kids are not dressed in revealing outfits, and at least one of them is a girl!  Kelvin and Keefe  do not say one single thing that suggest an erotic interest in the "little angels."  Keefe notes that a particularly muscular b oy is popular with other b oys, and Kelvin fiddles with his "wedding ring," to let you know that he and Keefe are partners. 

The Youth Squad is a perfectly legitimate way for them to combine their interests in youth ministry and physical fitness.  Note that the kids are not training for bodybuilding, which is not permitted for anyone under age 15.  They are doing strength training exercises, which are recommended for ch ildren aged seven and up.   

Plus it makes structural sense.  The heterosexist trajectory includes job, house, wife, and k ids.  Baby Billy does not become a man until he holds his infant son.  BJ and Judy have no ch ildren of their own, so they adopt Tiffany. Nurturing ch ildren is the final step in Kelvin's movement into manhood.

(Sorry for the skipped letters, but any term referring to a young man gets the blogger censor upset.)

Lovers after the break

Mark Patton: Freddy Krueger's boyfriend, George Clooney's buddy, artist, scream queen. With his butt and bulge and Clooney's dick

I wanted to do a profile of Mark Patton, the Scream Queen who hooked up with Ricky Schroder in 1988, at least according to my friend in West Hollywood, Zach the Photographer.

He's called the Scream Queen because of Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985), where he plays a gay-vague teenager beset-upon by the nightmare psycho-killer Freddy Krueger.

Plus continuing the tradition of Nightmare hunks like Johnny Depp (left), he shows some butt and bulges.

Mark thought that Nightmare would be his "big break" into mainstream movies.  He was mistaken.

Previously he (right) had played a gay boy in the 1950s (actually a  transgender woman before transitioning), Chuck Connor's son, and the brother of a cloned girl, all roles with gay potential.

When he was cast in Nightmare, he assumed that his character was gay,  but his costar Robert Rusler (above) said "Hell, no!  And if you know what's good for you, you won't mentions gays to David [writer David Chaskin], ever!  He'll have you fired and on the first bus back to Missouri!"

I found the movie homophobic, even for the homophobic 1980s.  There are lots of "fag" slurs. The evil gym coach (Marshall Bell) dies when nightmare killer Freddy Krueger assaults him from behind in the shower, the homophobe's fear of what a gay predator might do.  The boy's "deviant impulses" are cured through the love of a woman.  

In a recent interview, David Chaskin admitted that he put gay codes into the script deliberately, but his goal was homophobic, to point out that gay people are monsters.  Still, the movie has been reclaimed as a queer classic, a gay teenager struggling to come out in a homophobic society that thinks gay people are monsters. 

After Nightmare, Mark found himself at the mercy of agents who tried to de-gay him.  They went through his closet to eliminate "gay" outfits, told him to avoid West Hollywood, and forbade him from being interviewed in The Advocate.

Mark managed a role as straight teenager in a CBS Schoolbreak Special (1986), and the buddy of the guy (George Clooney, left) who is having an affair with his mother on an episode of Hotel (1986).

In 1987, he was cast as a gay teenager, but told that he had to be closeted in real life, so he walked, and became an interior designer.

He lost his first partner, Timothy Murphy, to AIDS in 1988.  According to the story told by Zach the Photographer, he hooked up with Ricky Schroder later that year.

In 2000, while hospitalized for bronchitis, he was diagnosed as HIV positive himself.  

More after the break

"Howl" for Ricky Schroder, with Ricky's d*ck

 

I saw the cutest guy of my generation destroyed by madness, ranting hysterical naked...

Who played a "poor little rich boy" on Silver Spoons (1982-87) on my dream Saturday night, immersed in the buddy-bonding of Bosom Buddies, Jennifer Slept Here, and Mama's Family.

Whose boyfriend, Alfonso Ribeiro, went on to display his muscles and bulge on Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Who became a teen idol without taking off his shirt, who made gay boys sigh just with his dreamy eyes and smile

Who graduated to play a young soldier (Too Young The Hero, 1988), a cowboy (Lonesome Dove, 1989), and the juvenile brother of Brad Pitt (Across the Tracks, 1990), all men who knew the manly love of comrades

 Who hooked up with Mark Patton the Scream Queen but then threw himself into the closet of wives and sons and locker room homophobia

Who buddy-bonded with Dermont Mulroney in There Goes My Baby (1994), before they were both shipped off to Vietnam, one to die and the other to open a surf shop and cry over his lost love

Who forgot the endless summers of our youth

Seeing, touching, and tasting c ocks and endless balls.

Who crashed into movies and tv shows that no one saw, harsh, gritty, repellant, "make America great again" vehicles.

Who played a detective on NYPD Blue (1998-2001), with a woman's body below his gyrating backside

A nurse named Flower on Scrubs (2002-3) , who was queer coded but in love with Elliot

More after the break

Reacher, Episode 3.1: The man-mountain bonds with a gay college boy with a drug dealer dad, and there are plot twists and d*cks

I see that Reacher is in its third season on Amazon Prime. "When retired Military Police Officer Jack Reacher is arrested for a murder he did not commit, he finds himself in the middle of a deadly conspiracy full of dirty cops, shady businessmen, and scheming politicians."

What's the big deal?  "Crime he did not commit" has been a cliche since "The Fugitive" in 1963, and every single movie and tv show has dirty cops.  No way would I consider watching something so trite and......

...um...

...boring....um....

I mean, I can't wait to start watching.  I'm reviewing Episode 3.1, "Persuader"

Recap: Reacher (Alan Ritchson) travels from town to town, helping people with their problems, mostly requiring him to shoot machine guns, kick guys in the balls, and throw them off balconies into trash piles, then take a Trailways bus somewhere else.

Scene 1: Establishing shots of Havenhurst University in Abbotsville, Maine.  Not real places, but they could mean Bowdoin College, the safety school for lots of valedictorians.  Reacher pulls up to the Vinyl Vault downtown, grimaces, and brings his record collection in to sell.

While he's bickering with the shopkeeper, Steve (David Daniel Stewart) drives up in his pick-up truck.  Suspicious, Reacher watches as he deliberately plows into the car, pushes it into a telephone pole, kills the driver, and drags the whimpering college student Richard Beck (Johnny Berthold, below) from the back seat into his truck.

Reacher intervenes and shoots out the tires.  Steve opens fire, but Reacher shoots him in the arm and retrieves the whimpering Richard, loads him into his van, shoots a cop ("I didn't know -- I thought he was pulling a gun"), and zooms away, with more cops in hot pursuit.  The campus police?  Can they even make arrests?

Scene 2: A well choreographed chase, with a lot of sudden turns and smashed cars -- the staging must have cost a fortune.  They stop so Reacher can steal a new car.   He tells Richard to call for a ride; "tell them you're in shock and can't remember what I looked like." 

But Richard wants more help; the kidnappers could still be around.  "No.  I'm a drifter who used an unlicensed gun to kill a cop.  I gotta disappear."

"At least take me home. My dad's rich, and can help you disappear."

"Nope."

"Please?" Offer to let him screw you.

"Well, ok." 

Back story: Richard was kidnapped before, five years ago.  Dad wouldn't pay the ransom until the kidnappers cut off his ear. 

Scene 3: Establishing shot of Richard's huge Federal-style mansion, on a rocky coast.  Wait -- I swear I hear the "Dark Shadows" theme. Is this Collinwood?  Is Richard like the grandson of Barnabas Collins?

Richard tells Paulie, the hot security guard (Olivier Richters, the Dutch Giant), that it's ok, Reacher is a friend, but Paulie doesn't believe him.  Well, he could be a kidnapper.   

Reacher doesn't want to submit to a search or get his gun confiscated, but Richard bats his eyes and says "Pretty please?  For me?"  

More after the break

Shane Harper: the "Good Luck Charlie" and "God's Not Dead" guy shows his dick surprisingly often

 I wanted to research Shane Harper, the extremely well-hung drug dealer  Junior on Hightown (2020-21).  He's distraught over his girlfriend's death, so he makes some homophobic comments to two leather daddies, hoping that they will kill him.  They just beat him up; he dies of a drug overdose later.

Shane only has six photos on his Instagram, and two on his X, including this one: he getting a spray-on tan,  with the caption: "this is probably the only nude photo I'll ever post."

Don't believe him.  He posts a lot of nude photos.

So who is this guy?

According to the IMDB, he was born in San Diego, and began dancing, singing, and acting in community productions at the age of nine.   He played dancers in Re-Animated, High School Musical 2, Dance Revolution, and Dancing on Sunset.

Then he bounced arund the Disney Channel for a few years, guest starring in Zoey 101 and  Wizards of Waverly Place, and starring in Good Luck, Charlie as Teddy's boyfriend (Teddy is a girl; so is Charlie)

He released an album in 2011,  so I check out the heterosexism: the number of songs that shout "girl! girl! girl!," thus proclaiming that every relationship is heterosexual and invalidating the desires and relationships of LGBT fans.

Not much heterosexism.   But then look what happens:

God's Not Dead, 2014, starrs right-wing nutjob Kevin Sorbo as an evil college professor who forces his students to submit signed statements affirming that "God is dead."  This is utterly ridiculous. College professors don't force students to accept any point of view. They aren't allowed to.

Besides, The Death of God  (1961) was a book complaining that modern society had lost its sense of transcendence, the magical in everyday life.  The author didn't mean that the actual Supreme Being was dead.  And it was 50 years ago.  Why are fundamentalists still upset about it?

Shane plays the student who bravely challenges the evil prof and ends up proving that God is, in fact, still alive.

He returns in God's Not Dead: A Light in the Darkness (2018), in which a Christian pastor is tormented, and his church burned down, by an army of atheists and liberals.  No philosophy professors?  

OMG, that is jaw-droppingly idiotic. 

In a 2011 interview, Shane states that he only takes "wholesome" and "uplifting" roles. For instance, he would be ok with playing a gay guy, as long as the movie establishes that being gay is wrong, and has him give up the lifestyle.  

That was over a decade ago. Let's see what Shane has been up to lately.

Besides posting nude photos, I mean.

More after the break.

"Zero Day": Monster Apocalypse, time travel, or political thriller? With a gay tease, De Niro's dick. and a cute Russian guy

A tv miniseries, Zero Day (2025) popped up on my Netflix feed with no description.  There have been five previous Day Zeros, about a monster Apocalypse (2011, 2022), a water shortage (2021), a terrorist (2020), and the military draft (2007), so the premise of this one is a gamble.  I'm hoping for the monster Apocalypse.

Scene 1: The elderly George (Robert DeNiro, left) is trying to open the safe in his book-lined office while someone tries to break down the door.  He smashes a photo of him with his best bud in 1975, then tries again, but it's too late: the door opens.

Three Days Earlier:  George awakens in a double bed (must have a dead wife), takes his Lipitor, swims laps, goes jogging through the woods with his dog.  His jacket says that he's the President of the U.S. -- so where are his security guards?

Scene 2: In the kitchen, his boyfriend, Hector (Geoffrey Cantor), is making breakfast.  They discuss the bird feeder situation.  An assistant brings his morning newspaper and briefings -- the former First Lady is being confirmed as an Appellate Judge. So they're divorced.

"When does my wife land?" he asks.  So they're not divorced? Former -- he's the ex-President.  They discuss the catering for Saturday's Big Event.  I imagine that he has Big Events every day, being the ex-President and all.

He hasn't heard from Alex, but they assume she'll be coming.  Girlfriend or daughter?

"And send this morning's visitor to the guest cabin."

Scene 3: A limo drops off a young lady, presumably "this morning's visitor," at the rustic, book-lined guest cabin.  She is not happy to be there.  She examines the photos and memorabilia, and a bookcase full of handwritten journals: Campaign 2004, U.S. Invasion of Iraq, NYC Transit Strike 2005.

George enters and explains that he's using the journals to write his autobiography, which will be done soon.  Sorry it's so late. 

She's excited: he is the last president in modern history to get bipartisan support (you got that right), so this book could have a big impact in today's contentious political climate (the current President will probably ban it).

Next George points out the photo of him with his childhood boyfriend Jon Flanagan.  They served in the army together, and then he was killed in Greenpoint picking up a bottle of milk.  Lift with your legs, not with your back. Oh, wait -- he was murdered while trying to buy the milk. Dumb way to phrase it.

This inspired George to go to law school, become a prosecutor, put bad guys away, and eventually run for President.

Next question: "Why did you decide not to run for re-election? The real reason, not 'Our son just died,' the bogus reason  you gave the press."  

George doesn't like this -- would you?  --  and kicks her out.

Scene 4: On the way home, the Visitor is complaining to her boss, when the cell phone blanks out with a message: "This will happen again!"  Then their car crashes into a train and bursts into flame.

George watches Wolf Blitzer on tv: multiple outages affecting power grids, transportation systems, and communications, resulting in train derailments, airplane crashes, life support systems shut down.  It's called Zero Day.  Is this a post-Apocalyptic series?  Will George and his staff be eating canned beans in a bunker?

Scene 5: Russian Consulate. A cute guy (Nikita Bogolyubov, who is fluent in English, Russian, and Weirdo) says "I'll take care of it," and grabs a gun from his desk, giving us an eyeful of the bulge in his Calvin Kleins. 

Meanwhile, in Washington DC, the Speaker of the House (Matthew Modine, left) makes a gung-ho speech about America's vulnerability.  Time to get tough and crack some heads.  And deport all the immigrants?  

And back home, George watches a video of a man telling his son to "wave to Mommy" during his first subway ride. Ulp -- I knew where this is going. I'm fast forwarding past the son's death.  His Ex-Wife, the former First Lady, arrives, and they continue to watch.

Scene 6: Zero Day 1.  George gets up, takes his Lipitor, swims his laps, jogs with his dog.  We'd better see some societal breakdown today, or I'm leaving.  

Back home, tv reports of massive casualties and search-and-rescue efforts. George tells his boyfriend, Hector, that the dog found something scary in the woods, maybe a corpse.

He gets a special intelligence briefing -- no idea about the perp -- and Roger Carlson (Jesse Plemons) visits. They hug.

The White House wants George to visit some of the sites, shake hands with first responders, and so on.  "Nope, I'm retired."  

"But we need you. Everyone is scared. Right now the American people need to know that the country will be ok."  Is he talking about the cyber-attack, or the 2024 election?

Talked into it, they drive into Manhattan to the site of a train collison.  A police barricade with a crowd behind it carrying "Have you seen me?" fliers, yelling "F*king socialist traitors!" and "Wake up, sheeple!  This is all fake!"  He shakes hands with some firefighters.

The crowd gets angry with each other and starts fighting, but George calms them down. "We're Americans! We're supposed to be standing up for each other?"  Huh? Have you ever looked at the comments on any internet post? "You spelled this actor's name wrong -- I hope you and everyone you know dies a slow, painful death!" 

Cut to people all over the U.S. listening to his impromptu "We have to stick together" speech.

Scene 7: In Washington, DC, the Wicked Witch of the West -- George's daughter -calls Roger Carlson, irate over him getting her father involved.  "You've done some horrible things before, but this is the worst!  You are trying to destroy my career by bringing the man I hate more than life itself into the picture!  How am I supposed to take over the world now?"  Whew, girlfriend really hates her father.  Maybe he's not the saint he has been presented as.  Maybe she's responsible for the cyber-attack.

More after the break. Caution: Explicit.

David Pevsner: Quasi-homophobic roles, older gay guy roles, gay theater, lots of Pevsner penis pics. Did I mention that he's gay?

This photo of someone named David Pevsner popped up on my "n*de celebrity" feed.  I never heard of him, but when I checked the IMDB, I found 57 acting credits, with a lot of gay-themed projects.  

A promising start.  Until you start checking the synopses.

A bartender in a gay bar in a 2000 episode of NYPD Blue: the detectives, including the homophobic Rick Schroeder, deal with the case of a man who rents a hotel room to have sex on the downlow.  He is stabbed 47 times, and his p enis removed. So, like "Cruising", with some gay panic shite?

A casting agent in The Fluffer (2001): a young man employed as a fluffer (keeping the adult actors aroused) falls for "a gay-for-pay porn star whose hedonistic lifestyle may lead them both to destruction."  Yuck, more gay-as-sleaze homophobia.  I'll be he gets redeemed through a heterosexual romance.

"Man in Hospital" in Adam & Steve (2005):  Adam and his girlfriend are at a pub, when he sees a male dancer, Steve, and decides to hook up.  Years later, he meets Steve again, now a psychiatrist, and they start a new relationship.  Meanwhile, the ex-girlfriend starts dating Steve's roommate.  It's on Pluto only, so I can't get to it, but according to the reviews, there's some homophobic hate crime, people being horrified at seeing a gay couple (in 2005 New York), stereotyping, gross-out humor, and a whimpering dog.   

A gay pe dophile child abductor in a 2006 episode of Criminal Minds (with Daryl Sabara as a teen with a precursor of a gay OnlyFans page).

A lot of gay roles, but not positive ones.  I don't know if this guy is gay or a blistering homophobe, or both.

A starring role in The Real Life (2007), about a life coach (David) who gets his own reality tv show, and becomes "addicted to fame."  Not available to stream anywhere.

Lez Be Friends (2007), two episodes of a tv pilot repackaged as a movie: A lesbian must pretend to be straight so her lesbian-phobic landlord will allow her and her gay bff to move in with a gay guy.  So the dude is fine with gay men, but not lesbians?  Or does he think that gay people all hook up with each other, regardless of gender?  The first episode sets up the premise, and the second is about a crab infestation.  David plays Duke, not one of the roommates.  Not available to stream.

A pornography professor in Pornography: A Thriller (2009).

Role Play (2010): A recently outed soap star begins a relationship with a "recently divorced gay marriage activist," and there's something about fame. At least nobody dies. David plays Alex, the resort owner.

The IMDB goes on like that, with guest spots in gay-themed movies and tv shows, some quasi-homophobic. I'm going to move up to the tv series where David has more substantial roles.

Tardust in 10 episodes of We're Alive: A Story of Survival, a podcast about a zombie apocalypse. 

The Host in 7 episodes of Disorganized Zone, a Twilight zone parody.

27 episodes of Old Dogs & New Tricks (2011-20), a webseries about four middle-aged gay men living in "youth-obsessed West Hollywood": Leon Acord as a talent agent, Curt Bonem as singer who peaked in the 1980s, David as an actor who peaked in the 1990s, and Jeffrey Patrick Olson as a personal trainer

Scrooge in Scrooge & Marley (2012), a gay retake of Dickens' Christmas Carol.  The "bah! humbug!" dude is mourning his dead partner (Tim Kazurinski), learns the Spirit of Christmas, and helps his nephew get a boyfriend.  And the ghosts are rather...um, festive.  

It's on Tubi. Maybe I'll review it next Christmas.

  

More after the break. Caution: Explicit.

Gemstones Episode 2.9: Who killed Thaniel? Will Keefe ever get a place at the table? Can we see some Gemstone alums naked?

Sorry for doubling up, but I'm trying to get through the Season 3 reviews before Season 4 starts

Previous:  Episode 2.8, Continued: Macaulay Culkin grows up, the Cycle Ninjas break out, and Jussie Smollet shows his stuff

It's the last episode, time for answers to the big questions of the season:  Who killed Thaniel?  Who is trying to kill Eli?  Will Keefe ever be admitted to that family dinner? 

Title: "I Will Tell of All Your Deeds."  Psalms 9.1, NIV: "I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds."  Hopefully we'll hear about some of the Lord's deeds.

The Thaniel Answer:  A flashback: Thaniel Block (Jason Schwartzman), the snoopy reporter who was murdered in Episode 2.2, is yelling at Lyle Lissons, the megachurch pastor who wants Jesse to invest in his Christian resort!  How do those two know each other?

Ulp, Thaniel is forcing Lyle to dig up dirt on the Gemstones, but all he has provided so far is satellite church pastor Butterfield having a  three-way in the dance club restroom (See Episode 2.1)

Not good enough.  Thaniel wants Eli Gemstone, the most famous televangelist and megachurch pastor in the world.   Bringing down the Gemstones will win him a Pulitzer! 

But Lyle needs their money for his resort.  How about if he frames some of his own satellite church pastors for embezzlement? 

No, Eli Gemstone, "Or I'll do a story on your strange relationship with some of the boys at your orphanage."  Uh-oh, Lyle is a pe dophile!  

Lyle goes out to his car, where the ministers he offered to betray are waiting. One is played by Chad Mountain, linked below. 

They brought hand grenades to kill Thaniel with.  But one of the idiots pulls the pin, and is exploded!   Thaniel investigates the noise and shoots another, then runs back into his house, where he accidentally shoots himself!

  

Lyle and the two surviving ministers hide when a car approaches. It's the Gemstone siblings, coming to tell Thaniel to back off. So this is all happening during Episode 2.2.   They see Thaniel's corpse and the other dead guys and run away.  To avoid discovery, Lyle tells his ministers to burn down the house.  Then, worried that the siblings may have seen them, he burns them to death, too.   OMG, this guy makes Eli breaking thumbs look like a church ladies' tea.  I'd call him a psycho, but I don't want to insult Freddy Krueger.

 So now we know who killed Thaniel and the other men, and I'm guessing that Lyle sent the Cycle Ninjas, too.  We just need the answer to the Keefe question.

Gideon jumps out a window:  Cut to Gideon running through an office, chased by the police.  He jumps through a window and falls three stories.  He's dead!

Psych!  It was a stunt job!  Everyone loves it, including his visiting parents, who conclude that maybe doing stunt work in California isn't so bad after all.  Don't worry, he'll be back with the Gemstones soon.

Toxic father, toxic son: Then back to the Psycho: Lyle and Lindsey Lissons are visiting his elderly Dad Roddy (John Amos), who is not happy to see him: "You took everything I cared about, locked me up in this....prison."  "You mean an expensive care facility?"  Whoa, Lindsey actually slaps him and threatens him. Murder and elder abuse!  

They have come to give Roddy a permanent room at the Christian resort they are building  -- with some of the money the've stolen from him.  But since he's acting so snippy, they rescind the offer

Toxic father-son relationships this season: Roy Gemstone-Eli, Glendon Marsh-Junior, Lyle Lissons-Roddy, Baby Billy Freeman-Harmon, Eli-Kelvin, Jesse-Pontius. 

Personal note: John Amos and I used to go to the same gym in West Hollywood. We never became friends, but we had a sort of nodding acquaintanceship.  I did manage to see him in the shower.

More answers after the break