Showing posts with label Halloween. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Halloween. Show all posts

Friday, December 8, 2023

Robert's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 1: Fifty burgers, three pies, Halloween, bondage, and the love of his life


 
This is a collection of hot or humorous photos of Robert Oberst, professional strongman who played Cousin Karl in Righteous Gemstones Season 3.

1. Halloween Scotsman







2. Robert wants to get "back into shape."  Looks pretty in shape to me.  

His motto is "Strong and Pretty," get it?








3. Robert the underwear model.










4. Robert has a home gym, of course, but there's a lot to be said for working out with other guys.










5. A light lunch: Fifty burgers (no buns, of course) and 200 wings.  Notice the gay couple behind him.


 

6.
Only three pies?  You feeling ok, buddy?













More Robert after the break. Warning: Explicit.

Tuesday, November 14, 2023

When We First Met: Adam time-travels and bulges to win the Girl. Plus a Kelvin/Keefe moment.

 


I've reviewed a lot of Adam Devine's work, looking for gay subtexts, and he does not disappoint: nearly every movie is loaded with homoerotic interest.  Even romcoms where he wins The Girl of His Dreams.

So I'm anxious to review When We First Met (2018).   Check out the poster (below): it looks like Adam is trying to keep the Girl and his rival from kissing, but you can also read it as Adam trying to decide between his rival and the Girl.

Scene 1: November 1, 2017. Beautiful establishing shots of New Orleans (except no French Quarter).  A fancy party.  Noah (Adam Devine) is gazing at Avery (a woman), who is gushing over the fact three years ago today, she met "someone special."  Aww, are they engaged? 

Flashback to October 31, 2014. Wait, she said exactly three years ago.  This is three years and a day. A Halloween party.  Amid all the guests in sexy costumes, we see Noah dressed as super-nerd Garth from Wayne's World.  That's no way to pick up chicks.

Whoa, when he walks past Tony Cavalero  (Keefe), dressed as Angus Young of AC/DC, he stops to grin.  Precognition much?   You'll be falling in love with him next year. He then has a spilled-drink meet-cute with Avery, and guesses that she is dressed as Tom Hanks.  Even I know that's a bad move, and I haven't tried to pick up a girl since...well, ever.

She guesses that Noah is her lesbian cousin, then changes to Garth.  Yep: "The key to doing a good Garth impression is to make your  mouth into a tiny butthole." Dude, watching you flub like this is almost painful.  At least he takes the Garth-wig and glasses off so she can see his intense gorgeousness.  Maybe that will counteract his faux-pas.


Scene 2: 
Yep: as they watch the male-female couples making out, she asks "Do you want to get out of here?"  Translation: "You're a goofball, but incredibly hot. Let's have sex."  But first  he takes her to the jazz club where he works.  He plays the piano, makes funny faces and sings "You Make Me Wanna Shout."   Not going to get you laid, Dude.  Then get their picture taken in a mysterious photo booth. 

Back to her place, but instead of getting sexy, Noah wants to play foosball and eat Cookie Crisp cereal.  Dude, why do you keep stalling? This is the way gay guys act with their female friends.  Eventually he moves in for a kiss.

Back to 2017: Avery tells the crowd, "And that's when I realized that I was in love."  Wait -- she's engaged to Ethan (Robbie Amell).  She must have met him on November 1st, the morning after her hookup with Noah (who is smiling to put a brave front on his broken heart).  So he's been in the friend zone for three years, while Avery was with another guy?  Shouldn't he have given up and moved on long ago? 

Noah drinks a lot and throws up.  Avery and Ethan go into the bathroom to see what's wrong.  He claims food poisoning, while looking at Avery with a lovelorn expression that anyone would notice instantly.  Ethan gives him some crackers and mineral water -- he really cares about the guy -- then kisses Avery, which makes Noah even sicker.  She asks her plain-jane roommate to give him a ride home.


Scene 3
: Instead of home, Noah asks the plain-jane roommate to take him to his jazz-club workplace, where we meet his Best Bud (King Bach) (identified as absurdly hetero-horny from his first line). 

He explains what happened back on October 31st, 2014: he moved in for a kiss, but Avery gave him a hug instead, saying how nice it was to have a guy friend: "I left never knowing where I went wrong."  Got an hour or so?  I have a list.

 He figured he'd get a second chance, but the very next day, "fate kicked me in the ball sack." Avery was shopping for Cookie Crisp cereal, when Ethan appeared in her aisle, a shirtless winged centaur!  Whoa -- if for some reason they didn't want to share and I had to pick one,   it's be Robbie.  Sure, Adam is one of the most handsome men on the planet, and he has a spectacular cock, but in between, Robbie Amell's got the goods.    

Darn, I was so busy commenting on the first two scenes that I'm out of space, and we haven't even gotten to the time-travel plot.  Noah returns to the photo booth and keeps getting zapped back to Halloween 2014 for a day. He goes to the party (interacting with Cavalero's Angus Young every time), and tries different strategies: knowing everything about Avery; being nice; being a jerk; being career-driven.  Either things go terribly wrong, or else he gets Avery and everyone is miserable when he returns to 2017.  Guess who he ends up with, Avery, Ethan, the plain-jane roommate, or the best bud?


Beefcake: 
All three of the male stars shirtless, plus Adam's bulge when he's wearing leather pants.

Gay Characters: None, not even in crowd scenes.  Two references: Avery mentions her lesbian cousin, and Noah asks if she is at the Halloween party as a "tranny" (when he's being a jerk).

Gay Subtext:  Occasionally guys will be told "get a room!" when they look too chummy.

When the Best Bud is showing Noah how to look sexy, Cavalero gives him a double-take.  A blink-and-you-miss-it moment, and very, very subtle, but as gay as it gets. 

My Grade: Ordinarily I would mark points off for the lack of LGBT representation or subtexts, but Adam is just too much fun to watch.  Not only because of his hotness -- he carries every scene, and he's friggin' hilarious.  I can't recall when I've laughed so much in a hetero romcom. B+


Bonus: Robbie Amell bulge.











Another bulge.  He has not yet shown us his penis, but you can get a good idea


















And his butt

Sunday, November 12, 2023

Eight Penises and Packages of South Carolina


 The Righteous Gemstones is set in Rogers, South Carolina, either a stand-in for Charleston or a suburb.  I've visited Charleston, Walterboro (about an hour west) and other cities several times, most recently in October 2022  (no Gemstones sites -- I was not yet aware that the show existed).  Here are some photos of South Carolina penises and packages that I may or may not have seen in real life

The nude photos are all from public websites or posted with permission of the subject.

1.Walterboro nude




2. Spiderman, ready for trick-or-treating in Charleston's French Quarter









3. At home, Charleston











Old City Market, Charleston







4.Halloween Parade











5. Gullah Island

More after the break









Wednesday, November 8, 2023

Christopher Atkins: Nude photos of my West Hollywood friend and 1980s gay icon (who never played a gay role)

 


I met Christopher Atkins a few times when I lived in California: my friend was starring with him in a Smokey and the Bandits rip-off.  

Recently we became facebook friends. Well, me and 3,800 other people.  But I'm one of the few who responds to his posts.










"Come on, Christopher, it's big, but not big enough to write your entire name and a heart on." (I didn't really say that.)











Christopher was one of the first actors to go full frontal on the big screen.  Several times.Here he shows off in his iconic but immensely heterosexist Blue Lagoon (1980).  At the time, he hated performing nude.











In A Night in Heaven (1983), he played a male stripper at a ladies-only club. 

In real life Christopher has been a gay ally since the start of his career.  While other actors were insisting that only women enjoyed looking at their physique, he was happily discussing his appeal to gay fans in magazines like The Advocate.










More after the break