Showing posts with label Adam DeVine. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Adam DeVine. Show all posts

The Top 10 Hunks of Queerbaiting TV, Part 2: Dead Pixies, an Irish psychopath, a Kraken's dick, a swishy straight guy, and a bonus Adam Devine



 


Ready for another set of hunks acquired through sitting through queerbaiting, gay teases, heteronormative erasure, and research that goes nowhere?  

"It's not easy having a good time" -- Frank N Furter.





1. Will Merrick
Dead Pixies, a "new" Britcom on Hulu (actually 2019-21) is about three online gamers who struggle with life in the non-cyber world: the intensely hetero-horny Meg; Usman, who mentions his wife every five seconds, and Nicki (Will Merrick), who never mentions girls or any heterosexual interest -- until Season 2, when he gets a girlfriend.  A whole season of queerbaiting.

And the series is  actually called Dead Pixels. 


2. Richard Short (top photo)

I still like gingers, queerbaiting or not, so I checked on Will Merrick's other work, and found The Night Passenger "Marty (Will) is going through a crisis and is hanging on by a thread. After discovering a man (Richard Short, top photo) tied up in his trunk things go from bad to worse. Worse being a psychopathic Irishman who joins Marty on a journey through the city of LA."

Doubtless the guy in the trunk becomes a buddy/lover, and helps Marty fight the psycho.  But all of the pictures on the IMDB show Marty having a heart-to-heart with a depressed looking woman.



3. Kyle Harris
.  I spent 30 minutes watching the "flashy girl from Flushing helps the cops" series High Potential, Episode 1.12, because the murder victim,  "controversial" tech guy Anson Pierce (Kyle Harris), had a queer-coded little dog (unharmed) and a mother, but no wife or girlfriend. Obviously gay.  But 30 minutes in, we learn that he was having secret trysts with a woman.  Why keep it secret?

In other news, Officer Karadec has a blistering relationship with his "former partner," FBI Agent Hank (Joe Alvarez).  I kept assuming that he meant romantic partner due to their sultry looks, married-couple arguments, and statements like "it's a lot more complicated than that" from coworkers who knew them back then.  But nothing ever comes of it.  The two don't even part with a hug. 

Two gay teases in one episode. 

4. AZ Nude Men featured this shot of a guy with his dick out, probably prosthetic.  He is Ian Stanley, playing The Kraken, maybe a sports star, on Episode 1.4 on of the medical drama The Pitt.  

I hate medical dramas -- who wants to watch people dying? -- but I fast-forwarded through Episode 1.4, with various patients dying, being told that they're dying, and having medical emergencies.

Finally we get to the Kraken.  He's having a seizure, so four doctors and nurses hold him down while Whitaker  (Gerran Howell) jabs him with an injection.  And gets peed on, har har.  We never even see the Kraken's face. 

I guess that doesn't count as queerbaiting.  Maybe it's penis-baiting?


5.  Taj Speights.  The Kraken is supposed to appear in three episodes, so I fast-forwarded through Episode 1.5 of The Pitt.  He's not there, but one scene features swishy, femme-voiced college guy Tag Speights, whom the doctors all know and love, dropping by.  

After excessive hugging and everyone telling him how wonderful he is, the head doc asks "Are you looking for ROBBIE? "   Must be his boyfriend.

"No. We were going to go to the jazz festival together, but I decided to ditch him and go with a friend instead."  

"A friend!!!!! What's HER name???", they ask, high-fiving and congratulating each other, absurdly jublilant.  He says "Leah."

Wait -- they can't be celebrating because they're so relieved to discover that he's straight -- they immediately assumed that the "friend" was a girl, not a boy?   So if they already knew he was a femme straight guy, why the intense celebration?  

Still, making him all femme and pretending that he had a boyfriend named Robbie is a blatant gay tease.

More after the break

Gemstones Episode 2.6: Yep, they have sex. Plus Judy grows a heart, Torsten a brain, and Amber the noive.




Title: "Never Avenge Yourselves, but Leave It to the Wrath of God." Romans 12:19.  Who will suffer God's wrath?

Episode 2.6 has that controversial scene that fans are still arguing about, three seconds that have been analyzed backward and forward, frame by frame. Are they having sex or getting dressed?  But really, it's so obvious that it could become porn with only a few minor changes in the actors' directions. It's so obvious that I can't even put a screen shot at the top photo without getting a "sensitive" tag.   But first we have some unfinished business to attend to.

The Cycle Ninjas:  We begin immediately after the Cycle Ninja attack in Episode 2.4.  Jesse and Amber grab guns and fire on them as they zoom off, grazing one.  He falls off  his motorcycle, but jumps onto his colleague's and gives them the finger.

Later the family, except for Kelvin, gathers in Eli's drawing room to discuss the incident with Sheriff Brenda.  Judy thinks that it was a case of road rage.  Sheriff Brenda thinks that it was a botched robbery by some teenagers: professional assassins would have finished the job.  Eli is sure that Junior sent the Cycle Ninjas to kill him.  Other family members are at risk too, so he puts the compound on lockdown.

Judy complains about being stuck at home, with Tiffany living there after Baby Billy abandoned her. "She cleans everything with vinegar."  Not the time for complaints, girl.  Eli agrees: "Are you incapable of thinking of anyone but yourself?"

Out on the porch, Eli asks if Jesse has been to see Kelvin since the assault: "No. we ain't friends.  He grew up to be a nerd." 



The Second Dressing Room Scene:  
We cut to a full body front-and-rear shot of Kelvin, as he stands naked in front of the mirror in his dressing room. "Look at me," he tells Keefe, "A grotesque reflection of what I once was." Dude, you're not going to get any sympathy with that incredible body on display.

 He is distraught over the fight with his father and the loss of the God Squad; he has been de-manned by the symbolic castration. Why should he get dressed?  "I shall remain hidden, like the beast I've become."

 Keefe advises that dressing for the day "soothes the soul," and drops to his knees.  Kelvin pushes his head forward and down to begin oral sex.  We see and (and hear) his climax, orgasm, and post-orgasm release.  Keefe swallows and says "nice." 

The scene lasts only a few seconds, and thus is easy to miss (I missed it the first time).  And it is immersed in the act of getting dressed.  Viewers are expected to be unsure whether they had sex or not, thus continuing the "are they or aren't they?" speculation. 

But the non-sexual explanation makes no sense: 

While stepping into his Tommy Johns, Kelvin steadies himself by pushing on Keefe's head. You steady yourself on your friend's shoulders, not on his head.

Using his hands to push is painful.  Elsewhere he is shown using the palms and base of his hands without pain.  

Keefe says "nice" because...um... Go on? 

Structurally, it is a logical conclusion of the first dressing room scene.  The guys move from quasi-sexual erotic activity to an overt sexual act.

It makes sense for Kelvin's character. He that his injury has rendered him impotent in a society dedicated to the phallus, grotesque in a society that prizes male beauty.   What better way to demonstrate that he is still potent, still beautiful? 


It makes sense for Keefe's character.  You've just gotten a good look at the amazingly hot backside of the Man of Your Dreams, and now you are kneeling with your face three inches from his amazingly hot cock --aroused by your proximity.  What guy could resist going down?






Afterwards, Keefe helps Kelvin get dressed, boops his nose, and puckers up for a kiss.  Kelvin moves in, then changes his mind and abruptly turns aside.  He still resists the idea of romantic love, but he is gradually coming around.

Down in the yard, the God Squad is running a motorcycle over the tennis court and otherwise wilding.  They've even moved into the house.  Kelvin is horrified: "Our empire is crumbling."  Notice that it's now "our" empire; they are equal partners.  Keefe encourages him to prove that he is still strong, physically and mentally: "Your will is not broken, even though your thumbs are."


Judy Grows a Heart: 
 Judy is signing fan photos with an erect penis and "stay horny," a call back to the Kelvin/Keefe sex scene, while Tiffany calls the area hospitals to see if Baby Billy was  admitted.  Judy scoffs: "He abandoned you."  But Tiffany can't believe it.  Maybe he's still looking for Funyons, and will return with the car loaded-down with them. Maybe he had a stroke, and doesn't remember who he is.  What if he's dead?  

Tiffany starts to cry,  and Judy starts to feel compassion, "thinking of someone other than herself" for maybe the first time in her life. This reminds me of the Tin Man in The Wizard of Oz: "If I only had a heart."

Amber Grows Courageous.  Next the Cowardly Lion: "If I only had the noive." At the marital support group, Amber brags about how she chased off the Cycle Ninjas and shot one from 50 yards away.  The women cheer.  Jesse, feeling threatened, argues that they were both shooting, and it's unclear who actually "grazed " the Ninja,  The women aren't having it.  Amber luxuriates in the cheers, feeling for the first time that she's her own person, not just an extension of her partner. 

 Later, Jesse's crew tries to console him for being de-manned by his wife. They suggest some buddy-bonding over craft beers, but he refuses.  He's too upset about "the whole church sucking my wife's dick." Another call-back to Kelvin's blow job.

Hand-holding and orgasms after the break

A new, improved batch of Adam Devine beefcake, bulge, and butt photos. With maybe a d*ck or two.


I thought I had seen every butt, bulge and cock scene in every one of Adam Devine's movies and tv shows, but nope, there are more.  I'm not even going to think of clever comments; let's just get to the goods.

1. From the Righteous Gemstones Season 4 trailer.  Kelvin gets up off his knees and tells Keefe: "This our world now. We can do what we want."  I have  pretty good idea what he wanted, but the question is, did he swallow?



2.  Adam wigggling his jelly roll in Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates.  Wait until you see Zac Efron's bulge later on!










3. Adam as Adam, with a snake and an apple.  I'm not sure about this one.  Butt looks a little too hairy.










4. A very young Adam sports a blatant bulge.













5. A side butt in a hospital gown in Workaholics.













6. Hey, who let the gay guy from Bumper in Berlin in here?












More Adam, Ders, and Tony after the break

Adam's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 1: Forehead presses, anal poopers, divine dicks, an Oz salute, and Kermit the Frog



This is a collection of hot or humorous photos of Adam Devine.  I've already posted almost all of his dick and butt shots available, but not to worry, there are some dicks and butts of other guys. 

1. The "I lost my swimsuit in the ocean" excuse is getting old, buddy.


2. Adam's physique has been compared to Schwarzenegger's.  Not favorably, just compared.








3.  "I know he's not much to look at, but he makes me laugh." Girl, you’re looking in the wrong place .

.




4. Oh, for...three years of Kelvin/Keefe forehead presses, and now this!  Just kiss him, and save us all a lot of aggravation!








5. In The Out-Laws, Adam plays a hapless bank manager who butts heads with rival manager Dean Winters, here giving an Oz nude salute.








6. Adam's new commode, for turning bathroom time into fun time. It looks nice and all, but how do you poop?














More Adam after the break

Brock Cock, Part 1: From the God Squad to the Immortal Kane, with bonus Daryl McCormack and James Duval


 
Everybody needs a little Brock O'Hurn now and then.  At least his 1.7 million instagram followers think so.  Brock has played any number of muscle-hunks, including Hulk Hogan, Thor, Tarzan, a "swole Mel Brooks," and guys named Horse and Ragnar Stormbringer.  






He may be most famous as  Torsten, the "gentle giant" of the God Squad, a homoerotic muscle commune, in Season 2 of The Righteous Gemstones.  Presumably Adam Devine isn't in character here, or he'd be much more interested in the muscles pressing against him.






Here Brock is a shirtless cowboy in the video Wild West Showdown.  








Brock is a co-creator and model for Kane Comic Universe about an immortal muscleman who travels through time, fighting demons, evil gods, madmen, and so on. Warning: Issue #2 features women's boobs rather than Brock pecs.






I promised Brock cock, but actually, he has only one nude scene on tv, in Euphoria, which I post in Brock Cock Part 2.   I just like saying "Brock cock."

But to fill my cock quota, here's Irish actor Daryl McCormack.











More Brock and cock after the break

"Human Discoveries" Episode 1.1: Paleolithic hunks invent underwear. With nude Zac Efron and Milo Ventimiglia

 


Human Discoveries
(2019) is an animated series (available on Facebook) about a group of Paleolithic humans who discover things like fire, relationships, and underwear.  Zac Efron stars as Gary, a loveable nebbish looking for love, community, and a way to avoid getting his butt bitten. Adam Devine appears in Episode 1 as the leader of an elk community.  I reviewed the first episode, to check for gay characters or subtexts.




Scene 1
:  Ugg (Paul Scheer), a bare-chested caveman, comes running out of some bushes. I'm a fan already. 

He and several other muscle guys run through the jungle, chased by a giant sabre-toothed tiger. They reach a cliff, and have to jungle-vine over it.  Bart, doesn't make it; the tiger starts eating him.  The guys make excuses to not save him.


Scene 2:
Jane complains about the gender-inequality of their society: the women have to weave baskets and gather fruit, while the men get to fight the tiger that's been preying on them.

At a community meeting, Ugh admits that the tiger is still out there.  Jane raises her concerns about gender equality; Gary (Zac Efron) agrees -- why not have everyone do the job they're best at?  His  roommate Trog (Lamorne Morris, left) thinks that he just wants to impress Jane. 

Meanwhile, the elk are discussing their predicament as prey to the humans. Leader Elk (Adam Devine) complains: "Why are they cared of the tiger but not us? We weigh a thousand pounds, and have spears growing out of our heads."  


Scene 3:
Night.  Gary and Jane flirt, and almost kiss, but they are interrupted by the camp guard being eaten ("Why is it starting with my feet?). 

Back in the cave, Gary disapproves of the skirts they wear while hunting -- too easy for his dick to be injured -- so he sews in some nuderwear (nice butt shot)  Trog disapproves: how can they poop with that thing on?

I know this isn't supposed to be historically accurate, but I can't help pointing out that no one in the Paleolithic Era actually lived in caves.  They lived in tents, and in some regions huts made of mammoth bones.  


Scene 4
: The men go off to fight the tiger, and the women are assigned to weave baskets.  Jane starts a rebellion: they're going to fight, too. But who's going to weave the baskets?  Jane appoints an old guy who is a closet basket-weaver.  "No more hiding!" he exclaims, displaying the baskets he has hiding in "the closet."

In the wild, Gary brags about the comfort and support his new genital hammock offers.  Two of the hunters, Tristain and Bog (James Adomian, Sam Richardson) are a canonical couple: later, when the group discovers "relationships," they point out that they've been together for years. But here they just display some enthusiasm for each other's accomplishments.  

Scene 5:  The women dig holes and build scarecrows with spikes in the head, hoping that the tiger will attack and impale itself.  But when the tiger arrives, chasing the men, it is not impaled.  It approaches Gary -- who poops his pants, distracting the tiger long enough for Ugg-- to spear it.

Unfortunately, the women were so busy building the scarecrows and digging  holes that they forgot to gather any fruit to eat. So Ugg decrees that the gender-polarized work assignments will remain.

More after the break

Kelton Dumont's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 3: Birthday biceps, bare bums, rugger dicks, and brothers for life

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"Bad Ideas with Adam Devine": When you need to f*k the Sadness in a hurry. With bonus buddy bulges and butts



Sometimes you need to f*k the Sadness in a hurry, and your best bet is Adam Devine.  Not (just) because of his hotness, because his stuff is always upbeat, with no hatred, no tragedy, no angst, not a lot of heteronormative mishegas, just whimsical problems, humorous braggadoccio, and homoerotic bonds. 

But you don't have time for a whole movie, or an episode of  Workaholicsor   The Righteous Gemstones. What do you do?

The reality series Bad Ideas with Adam Devine, streaming on Roku, is a perfect solution. In each episode, Adam. "the world's greatest movie star, the world's greatest lover, the guy who clearly writes his own intros," teams up with one of his comedian buddies to do something dangerous:

1. Compete in the World's Hottest Pepper Eating Contest, in the Bahamas. With Thomas Middleditch from Solar Opposites







2. Compete in a demolition derby, the Night of Destruction, at Perris Auto Speedway, near Riverside, California. With Blake Anderson from Workaholics










Blake bulging as a cop-stripper









3. Become stunt performers in a Western movie (after seven minutes of training). With Rebel Wilson from Pitch Perfect

4. Drive an ice cream truck up highway P3 in Peru, called "the Death Road" for its hairpin turns and 1000 foot drops. With Anders Holm from Workaholics








More after the break