Showing posts with label Adam DeVine. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Adam DeVine. Show all posts
Gemstones Season 1 Memes: Kelvin bottoms, Gideon falls in love, and Keefe checks for semen loads
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Adam's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 1: Forehead presses, anal poopers, divine dicks, an Oz salute, and Kermit the Frog
This is a collection of hot or humorous photos of Adam Devine. I've already posted almost all of his dick and butt shots available, but not to worry, there are some dicks and butts of other guys.
1. The "I lost my swimsuit in the ocean" excuse is getting old, buddy.
2. Adam's physique has been compared to Schwarzenegger's. Not favorably, just compared.
3. "I know he's not much to look at, but he makes me laugh." Girl, you’re looking in the wrong place .
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4. Oh, for...three years of Kelvin/Keefe forehead presses, and now this! Just kiss him, and save us all a lot of aggravation!
5. In The Out-Laws, Adam plays a hapless bank manager who butts heads with rival manager Dean Winters, here giving an Oz nude salute.
6. Adam's new commode, for turning bathroom time into fun time. It looks nice and all, but how do you poop?
More Adam after the break
Workaholics, Episode 6.1: Blake is gay in this one, but don't worry, Adam still likes dicks. With bonus Dane cock...I mean Cook
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Brock Cock, Part 1: From the God Squad to the Immortal Kane, with bonus Daryl McCormack and James Duval
He may be most famous as Torsten, the "gentle giant" of the God Squad, a homoerotic muscle commune, in Season 2 of The Righteous Gemstones. Presumably Adam Devine isn't in character here, or he'd be much more interested in the muscles pressing against him.
Brock is a co-creator and model for Kane Comic Universe about an immortal muscleman who travels through time, fighting demons, evil gods, madmen, and so on. Warning: Issue #2 features women's boobs rather than Brock pecs.
I promised Brock cock, but actually, he has only one nude scene on tv, in Euphoria, which I post in Brock Cock Part 2. I just like saying "Brock cock."
But to fill my cock quota, here's Irish actor Daryl McCormack.
More Brock and cock after the break
"Human Discoveries" Episode 1.1: Paleolithic hunks invent underwear. With nude Zac Efron and Milo Ventimiglia
Human Discoveries (2019) is an animated series (available on Facebook) about a group of Paleolithic humans who discover things like fire, relationships, and underwear. Zac Efron stars as Gary, a loveable nebbish looking for love, community, and a way to avoid getting his butt bitten. Adam Devine appears in Episode 1 as the leader of an elk community. I reviewed the first episode, to check for gay characters or subtexts.
Scene 1: Ugg (Paul Scheer), a bare-chested caveman, comes running out of some bushes. I'm a fan already.
He and several other muscle guys run through the jungle, chased by a giant sabre-toothed tiger. They reach a cliff, and have to jungle-vine over it. Bart, doesn't make it; the tiger starts eating him. The guys make excuses to not save him.
Scene 2: Jane complains about the gender-inequality of their society: the women have to weave baskets and gather fruit, while the men get to fight the tiger that's been preying on them.
At a community meeting, Ugh admits that the tiger is still out there. Jane raises her concerns about gender equality; Gary (Zac Efron) agrees -- why not have everyone do the job they're best at? His roommate Trog (Lamorne Morris, left) thinks that he just wants to impress Jane.
Meanwhile, the elk are discussing their predicament as prey to the humans. Leader Elk (Adam Devine) complains: "Why are they cared of the tiger but not us? We weigh a thousand pounds, and have spears growing out of our heads."
Scene 3: Night. Gary and Jane flirt, and almost kiss, but they are interrupted by the camp guard being eaten ("Why is it starting with my feet?).
Back in the cave, Gary disapproves of the skirts they wear while hunting -- too easy for his dick to be injured -- so he sews in some nuderwear (nice butt shot) Trog disapproves: how can they poop with that thing on?
I know this isn't supposed to be historically accurate, but I can't help pointing out that no one in the Paleolithic Era actually lived in caves. They lived in tents, and in some regions huts made of mammoth bones.
Scene 4: The men go off to fight the tiger, and the women are assigned to weave baskets. Jane starts a rebellion: they're going to fight, too. But who's going to weave the baskets? Jane appoints an old guy who is a closet basket-weaver. "No more hiding!" he exclaims, displaying the baskets he has hiding in "the closet."
In the wild, Gary brags about the comfort and support his new genital hammock offers. Two of the hunters, Tristain and Bog (James Adomian, Sam Richardson) are a canonical couple: later, when the group discovers "relationships," they point out that they've been together for years. But here they just display some enthusiasm for each other's accomplishments.
Scene 5: The women dig holes and build scarecrows with spikes in the head, hoping that the tiger will attack and impale itself. But when the tiger arrives, chasing the men, it is not impaled. It approaches Gary -- who poops his pants, distracting the tiger long enough for Ugg-- to spear it.
Unfortunately, the women were so busy building the scarecrows and digging holes that they forgot to gather any fruit to eat. So Ugg decrees that the gender-polarized work assignments will remain.
More after the break
Kelton Dumont's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 3: Birthday biceps, bare bums, rugger dicks, and brothers for life
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"Bad Ideas with Adam Devine": When you need to f*k the Sadness in a hurry. With bonus buddy bulges and butts
But you don't have time for a whole movie, or an episode of Workaholicsor The Righteous Gemstones. What do you do?
1. Compete in the World's Hottest Pepper Eating Contest, in the Bahamas. With Thomas Middleditch from Solar Opposites
2. Compete in a demolition derby, the Night of Destruction, at Perris Auto Speedway, near Riverside, California. With Blake Anderson from Workaholics
Blake bulging as a cop-stripper
3. Become stunt performers in a Western movie (after seven minutes of training). With Rebel Wilson from Pitch Perfect
4. Drive an ice cream truck up highway P3 in Peru, called "the Death Road" for its hairpin turns and 1000 foot drops. With Anders Holm from Workaholics
More after the break
Gemstones Episode 1.1: Kelvin is in love with a Goth boy, Judy with an atheist, and Gideon with the Devil. Plus nude dudes from Chengdu
I figured that we would have Righteous Gemstones Season 4 by now, or at least a cast list to profile, but nothing so far, so let's do some more Season 1 reviews.
Episode Title: Same as the series, "The Righteous Gemstones." Danny McBride has not commented on the origin, but in the Book of Exodus, Aaron's breastplate contains twelve gemstones, representing the twelve tribes of Israel, and in Ephesians, we are told to "put on the Breastplate of Righteousness." Maybe some Evangelical preachers make the connection, and apply Christian virtues to the twelve gemstones. Maybe someone in McBride's childhood even called them "righteous gemstones."
Who is More of a Man?: Chengdu, in southwestern China. Beneath an advertisement for "24 Hours of Saved Souls," a woman is singing in Mandarin, while hundreds of people file into a swimming pool to be baptized by missionary Eli Gemstone (Dan Conner of Roseanne) or his adult children. Jesse, the oldest (Danny McBride of Vice Principals), complains that his brother Kelvin (Adam Devine of Workaholics) is dipping the converts too far, getting water in their noses. Kelvin disgrees. Suddenly someone turns on waves and disco music, people lose their footing, it's chaos!
Left: Fireman from Chengdu. Or somewhere in China, anyway.
The Gemstones return home, and are greeted by Martin, Eli's chief accountant and right-hand man, and his secretary Judy, the third Gemstone child, who complains that she didn't get to go, even though she learned "Ni hao" (Hello). Jesse argues that missionary work is for only men, and she counters: "I'm more of a man than Kelvin is." Jesse agrees. Is this a gay reference?
The three men are chauffeured, in three identical cars, through a huge estate with a golf course, amusement park, and private police force. Ok, Eli is not a missionary; he has a televangelism empire like Jimmy Swaggart's
They are dropped off at their houses. First Eli, greeted by a staff of 15 women. Then Jesse, greeted by his wife, Amber, and children, Pontius and Abraham. Then Kelvin, greeted by no one. So his plot arc will be about finding someone.
Kelvin and the Vampire: Kelvin walks into his game room, and starts sorting his mail. Suddenly a half-naked man appears in the doorway, lowering from a sit-up bench like a vampire rising from his coffin -- next to an Egyptian mummy case. This is the Land of the Dead.
He says "Hello, friend," more threat than greeting.
Kelvin: "You scared the bullcrud out of me!"
Left: At the gym
The Vampire: "I'm sorry, man. I'd like to keep your bullcrud in." Another reference to butts.
Kelvin didn't like China: "Jesse was riding me the whole time, fully up my butt." Second butt reference, this one alluding to anal sex.
Kelvin asks for a hug. Keefe reluctantly approaches. "So happy you're home," he whispers.
He continues to criticize Jesse for not "letting me be me."
Is this a reference to Kelvin being gay? Will he come out during this season, or is he already out?
After a bro fist-bump, Kelvin asks (his friend has not yet been named, but we'll call him Keefe) how the housesitting went.
It went fine. Keefe slept in Kelvin's room one night, "But it felt odd, so I slept the rest of the time here on the couch." The huge house must have a dozen guest rooms. Why the couch?
Kelvin: "Hey, man, you do not need to feel odd sleeping in my bed. I told you you could." Is he easing Keefe into the idea of sleeping with him, so sex can happen by "accident"?
Keefe didn't like being in Kelvin's room: "The energy in there is just unsettling. It's lonely" Very insightful. He can sense Kelvin's loneliness. There's no one in his life, no friends, no romantic partner. He doesn't realize it yet, but he is, in the words of Dag Hammarskjold, "screaming for love." .
Kelvin thanks him for looking after the place: "Home-run friendship." Keefe is appreciative: "I know not everybody wanted me here." House-sitting? Why would the family care?
Timeline problem: Keefe was a Satanist before he and Kelvin met. Maybe Kelvin even brought him to Christ. How long have they known each other? In a future episode, Keefe's Satanist friends wonder why he hasn't been around lately, so just a few weeks. But there's a faded 666 tattoo on Keefe's chest. Laser tattoo removal takes 6-10 sessions, scheduled 6-8 weeks apart. Did Keefe start the removal long before he met Kelvin, or did the writers goof? .
Keefe decides to return to his apartment: "I'm pretty bushed. Gonna go soak in a tub. " It's the middle of the day! You haven't seen your friend in a week or so. Why don't you want to stick around? Are you worried about things heading in a direction you're not ready for?
"No, man!" Kelvin pleads. "Let's stay up late, play some video games, smash some Pixie Sticks." Staying up past your bedtime? Eating sugar? Are you planning a sexual encounter or a junior high sleepover?
Keefe refuses politely. "That sounds good, but I really need a soak...I like to turn it up real hot." A sexual double-entendre. Keefe is overtly excluding Kelvin from his erotic life, saying "I'm going to have sex, but you're not invited."
As the hug ends, Kelvin looks devastated. He is desperate for some kind of physical connection, but Keefe is leaving. He's so flustered that he can't even return Keefe's "Night-night" properly.
Kelvin seems to be pushing for a sexual relationship, but Keefe isn't sure. He's been saved (converted) for only a few weeks. He might find Kelvin attractive, but the power differential is enormous, and maybe he's been abused by clergy before. It's best to reject overtures that sound too sexual, play it cool, and see what happens.
Nude Chengdu dudes after the break
Workaholics Episode 1.9: Adam kisses a cougar, gets frisky with Ders, and raps as a bodybuilding fairy wizard. With a Michael O'Hearn frontal
After the gloomfest of The Mick, I needed something a little more upbeat. So Workaholics Episode 1.9, which was heavily criticized on the Gender/Sex/Media blog as homophobic: the guys think of "homosexuality" as weird and wrong -- and something you can catch. Plus Adam uses a homophobic slur! We'll see.
Scene 1: The guys dressed as wizards in long beards and conical caps, rehearsing a rap number for the Renaissance Faire. Ders asks why Adam has ripped his shirt off: "We're trying to get people excited, right? The world needs to see the madness that is my upper torso." Can't disagree with that.
Next Ders objects to "whoring out" the art of rap, but the guys remind him that ladies with big boobs will be watching their performance, so ok.
Scene 2: At work, the guys are watching through the window as Adam lifts weights on the patio. Geez, don't you gawk at his bod enough at home? Sorry, of course there's no such thing as "enough."
Suddenly a middle-aged lady comes onto the patio to smoke: Sharon, the owner of the whole building! The guys, watching, don't understand.. "Why is that lady talking to Adam? Wait -- why are they kissing?" Well, Billy, some boys like to kiss boys, and some like to kiss girls.
Scene 3: Blake wonders where Adam has been for three days; he's missing the Wizard Rap rehearsals. He comes in to announce that he's moving in with Sharon! They're in love, they're having sex, and besides, she's helping him with his bodybuilding career. She got him a gig at the Tri-County Amateur Bodybuilding Competition. Um..buddy, anyone can sign up for those things. Blake and Ders disapprove: she's a cougar (middle aged lady who's into young guys.) Nonsense, she's the same age as Adam's mom, who has sex a lot.
He zooms away on the back of Sharon's motorcycle. The guys feel betrayed, and decide that they will break up the lovebirds. Their plan: Ders will seduce her. Won't work -- I'm sure Sharon is fine with three-ways.
Scene 4: The guys arrive at Sharon's mansion. While Adam shows Blake around, Ders asks to check out the pool (we've already established that he's a former swimming champ).
The grand tour, consisting of the various places where Adam has made "the magic happen": their bedroom, the staircase, her son's bedroom, the kitchen. Have they ever actually had sex? I think a big reveal is coming.
Meanwhile Ders goes out to the pool in a very tight Speedo and flirts with Sharon. She can't swim, so he offers to teach her.
Scene 5: Adam shows Blake the gym, where he's preparing for the bodybuilding competition. Blake wants to stall him, to give Ders enough time to complete the seduction, so he asks for a demonstration of the bicep curl. Adam likes to keep the window open during his workouts, so when he screams, people outside think he's having sex. But aren't you having sex a lot anyway?
Meanwhile, in the pool, Sharon asks Ders "Are you trying to seduce me?" She is totally open to the idea.
Scene 6: Adam looks out the window, sees Sharon and Ders flirting, and runs down in a jealous snit. "We're going to fight!"
Upset at being interrupted in the midst of a seduction, Ders cries "You are frickin' dead, boy!" But when he climbs out of the pool, he is aroused!
They can't fight that way, so he has to lie down until he gets soft. But the minute the two start grabbing at each other, they both get aroused! "Your boner is contagious!" Adam exclaims. He orders Ders to put on a shirt to hide his hunkiness. What about you, Mr. Sexiest Man on the Planet? It can't be a fair fight with your gorgeousness distracting your opponent. "Wait, am I supposed to hit you or kiss you? I'll compromise with a blow job."
Ders agrees -- they're too attracted to each other for a physical fight. Maybe if they just hurl insults? Nope -- it turns into an "are you as turned on as I am?" tirade that stops just short of the kiss. And they're aroused again!
More arousal after the break
Bumper in Berlin Episode 1.1: Bumper from "Pitch Perfect" sings, meets a hunk, and doesn't get The Girl. Plus Morris Bleibtreu's butt
Remember Bumper, the a capella jerk from Pitch Perfect, played by Adam Devine? In November 2022, he spun off into his own tv series, Bumper in Berlin.
The only other male character in the regular cast is Pieter Kramer (Flula Borg, below). Not many opportunities for buddy-bonding gay subtexts here, but Adam is one of most handsome men on Earth, and Flula is one of the most muscular, so maybe I'll watch with the sound off just for the face and physique. Besides, the episodes have cute German titles like Backpfeifengesicht (face in need of a fist -- sounds like Bumper).
Scene 1: Bumper singing a capella with some old guys. "Baby, I'll show you how a real queen behaves." Not necessary -- I've seen Kelvin. "You may think I'm weak without a sword, but if I had one, it'd be bigger than yours." Tell me more about your...um, sword, Bumper.
"If all the kings had queens on their throne, we'd toast champaign...I'll be your queen." Girlfriend, that's as homoerotic as a song gets. Did you forget that you're not playing Kelvin?
Lights go up. This is a rehearsal for Bumper's new group, the Tonehangers. They'll be performing at a retirement center next month. Whoa, the old people won't know what hit them.
The other guys have to go -- wives, kids, stuff to do. Bumper claims that he has stuff to do, too, but actually he's all alone. I hate the heterosexist equation of wife and kids with success, but I'll give it a pass due to the homoerotic song. And he's working as a security guard at his old college but he's still planning on becoming a famous singer, somehow. Bummer, Bumper.
Scene 2: Bumper is locking up as part of his security guard duties, when he gets a phone call from Germany: a fan of his college performances and his recent appearances on game shows and Tik-Tok. "Wait -- how do you know all this?" Bumper asks, horrified. "Are you a pervert?" Come on, dude, any fan would know those things. I know that Adam was born in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Well, to be fair, I just remember it because my home town is nearby.
"I'm a pervert for talent," the voice says --revealed to be Pieter Kramer. "We have met before." Turns out that he belonged to Das Sound Machine, a rival a capella group. "You are a big Tik Tok star in Germany." His TikTok involved making funny faces while singing the very sad song "Neun und neunsig Luftballon." "You got 7.6 million views!"
"That's like a million views!" Bumper exclaims.
Pieter wants him to move to Berlin and become his client. "It's all happening!" he exclaims. "All of those failures were worth it, because now I'll never fail again." Har-har.
Scene 3: Bumper arrives at a horrible, graffiti-filled, run-down building in Berlin. Pieter greets him. They hug; Bumper is so excited that he won't let go, but to his credit, Pieter does not recoil in homophobic contempt.
Upstairs to his horrible office with a window facing the train tracks. Pieter's assistant Heidi arrives: Sarah Hylund, who played Adam's girlfriend on Modern Family! I guess we know where the sparks will fly.
An American, an airhead, she gives him American cheese (almost impossible to find in Germany) and a caffeine pill (to avoid jet lag). Sparks fly.
Pieter has prepared a comic strip of Bumper's path to superstardom, culminating in a gig as "the hottest new singer" at German Unity Day in two months.
Scene 4: The three walking through Brandenburg Gate, getting a sandwich from a food truck: "It's made with dead animals." "Oh, it's meat."
A stranger (Govinda Cholleti) and his crew recognize Bumper from his Tik-Tok!
They arrive at the horrible youth hostel where Bumper will be staying. The scary lady manager scowls at him: "I truly am meeting you." Har-har. They want to leave him alone in his horrible dorm to "get some rest," but he wants to go with them: "I'll get nervous if I'm alone." And scared of the scary lady?
A Techno-Goth Club after the break
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