Glenn Scarpelli: the star of "One Day at a Time" and "Jennifer Slept Here" grows up, comes out, and gets a husband
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Jackson Tessmer: From Hebrew School to toga parties, with angst tv, Christian drama, Asa Butterfield, and n*de selfies
He was a swimmer and powerlifter, winning first place in the Orlando Open Championships in 2022 with a bench of 170 and a deadlift of 211. Sorry, I couldn't find any powerlifting photos.
He was also very busy with Hebrew School and temple activities. It's a wonder that he had time to go on auditions.
Jackson's on-screen acting credits begin with a series of shorts: Show and Tell (2013), Birthday Boy (2014), Table Manners (2015). He starred with Michael Berthold, Stacy on The Righteous Gemstones, in Dear Ones (2014), On Your Street (2016), and Ranger Things (2017).
Plus walk-ons in Tomorrowland (2015) with George Clooney, Modern Family (2016) with Mitch dressed as Little Orphan Annie, and Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children (2016), with Asa Butterfield
Jackson's first starring role came in Schoolbus Diaries (2016-17), with "the everyday lives of children and teenagers" mediated by their surprisingly wise bus driver.
No Place in the World (2017) is a Christian movie featuring two sisters with problems at home and school, "trying to survive in a disconnected, self-centered world." I'll bet they find God. Jackson seems to play a school shooter.
I can't find the tv series Mohawk (2018) streaming anywhere, but Jackson's demo reel shows his father, who has just crucified someone, punching and strangling him. He's saved by the spirit of a Native American woman.
Paradise Lost (2018) is another show that is impossible to find on streaming services. All I can figure out is a guy (Josh Hartnett) and his wife and kids returning to his home town to confront the demons of his past. Jackson plays his son. Shane McRae plays Dickie Barnett, his enemy.
More after the break. Caution: Explicit.
Solar Opposites Episode 4.9: Skyler Gisondo plays a muscular bat-alien with a human boyfriend, plus Thomas Middleditch penis
Solar Opposites is an animated sitcom about a family of sentient slugs that crash-landed on Earth and must look for a way home while adapting to bizarre human customs like gender polarization: Korvo (Justin Roilland/Dan Stevens), the "man of the house," resistant to assimilation; Terry (Thomas Middleditch), the childcare expert, who eagerly adopts human culture; Yumyulak (Sean Giambone), the teenage boy, a rebel who hates humans; and a teenage girl and pupa (infant).
But this is a review of an episode where no one in the family appears except in flashbacks. I'm including a beefcake photo of Sean Giambone (left) and frontals of Thomas Middleditch (below) anyway.
Episode 4.9, "Down and Out on Planet X-Non," stars Glenn (Kieran Culkin), the family's snoopy neighbor, who got blasted into space. He joined the SilverCops Space Force, but they framed him for murder. He had to flee into the wilderness of an alien planet, fighting monsters and nearly dying many times. And now his story continues in what seems to be the pilot for a spin-off.
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Scene 1: After having an "expositional dream," Glenn awakens in a run-down office, naked. Zy (Skyler Gisondo, top photo), a muscular being with a bat-head, found him in the wilderness, half-dead. "What were you doing all alone in the woods?"
"I go there to jerk off," Glenn jokes. "I got a thing for trees. Why am I naked?"
"Your clothes were soaked with piss and shit."
Zy infers that he has a "secred, fucked-up past," so he'll be perfect for their group of multi-species thieves and con-men.
Glen tries to leave, but outside the door, beings are robbing and killing each other, so he decides to stay. First queer code; Zy puts his hand on Glenn's shoulder and leaves it there.
Scene 2: The tour. Most of the group has holograms on their chest, which means "they need extra help."
"But I don't have a hologram on my chest," Glenn complains.
"I'm sure you have a hologram in your heart." Awww..getting a little crush on this human, Zy?
Second queer code: Hand on shoulder again. Third queer code: Again. Gee, Zy can't keep his hands off Glenn.
Scene 3: Interview with the group leader, Skeletom, a hippie dude with a glowing green skeleton. He explains: "This place is for people who don't fit in." Island of Misfit Toys, huh? Queer code #3. "No one else has our backs, so we have to be family to each other."
Scene 4: Glenn, Zy, a cat-being, and a Cthulhu-being on a scam run. Zy explains that the 'Raffs (sentient giraffes) took over and pushed the indigenous population into slums, using SilverCops to break heads: "They claim they're keeping the peace, but they're racist as hell, and they play the natives against each other." Cthulhu Lives Matter.
Uh-oh, their last victim called the SilverCops. Run! Hiding in an alley, they discuss how much they hate the Sils. And Glenn is one! If they find out, he'll lose their friendship -- or worse.
More after the break
Bill Cable: 1980s nude model and gay porn performer, boyfriend of Elvira and Pee-Wee Herman, rock star in "Basic Instinct"
If you grew up in a heteronormative desert, like most gay boys in the 1970s, with nude and even shirtless guys vanishingly rare in magazines, movies, and tv, West Hollywood in the 1980s was a Paradise. You could buy a dozen glossy, full-color magazines aimed at gay men with every conceivable taste and interest:
Drummer for leather and BDSM
Blueboy for dating advice
Mandate for muscle
In Touch for humor
Inches for...well, you get the idea.
All of them were illustrated by full-page and centerfold photos of men, artistic and raunchy, always naked, sometimes aroused.
You saw this guy everywhere, but probably didn't realize that Cable, Stoner, and Bigg John were all the same model. Now we know.
He was Bill Cable, born William Laurence Cumpanas in northern Indiana in 1946. His grandparents were from Dalmatia (now part of Croatia), and he grew up with a strong sense of his Croatian identity,
His family moved to Los Angeles in 1950. He played football at North Hollywood High School and the University of Nevada, but a massive head injury forced him to quit. In 1970, he returned Los Angeles to pursue a new career as a model.
Bill modeled in all of the famous gay magazines of the 1970s and 1980s, plus gay porn pictorials for Colt Studios and The Athletic Model Guild.
He also appeared in straight porn pictorials, mainstream fashion ads, and the influential After Dark magazine. And in gay postcards, which you bought with no intention of actually mailing.
He posed nude in Playgirl three times, for:
"Long Cool Summer" (July 1973)
Victoriana (November 1974)
"Beauty and the Beast" (May 1975)
Bill's movie career began with a non-speaking role as a leatherman with a whip in the gay porn Bijou (1972). Next came some collaborations with straight pornographer Carlos Tobalina: Last Tango in Acapulco (1973), Jungle Blue (1978), and Flesh and Bullets (1985).
Sometime in the early 1970s, Bill and Carlos wrote, directed, and starred in What's Love (restored in 1987), "which deals with the themes of romantic obsession and Christian blasphemy." From the various synopsses, it appears that, Carlos plays a cop who gets in touch with a magical self. Bill as Jesus seduces him and his wife.
More after the break
Dane's Polar Plunge: A 365 day Lake Tahoe Challenge. With Scott Gaffney, Danish dicks, and nude guys at Notre Dame
I don't usually do profiles of non-actors, but this is amazing. His name is Dane, he's a student at North Tahoe High School, and he's jumping into Lake Tahoe every day for a year. Even on Day 190: Water temperature 39.3, air temperature 32. That's Fahrenheit.
Day 173: Gray, cloudy. Water temperature 37.3, air 33.0. Dane walked through the snow-- barefoot! -- toward his icy plunge.
On Day 184, he brought his Dad, professional skiier Scott Gaffney Water temperature 48.5, air 55.
On Day 120, he brought the North Tahoe High School Varsity Basketball Team -- at least the ones brave enough to try. Water temperature 39 degrees, air with wind chill 19.
The Wildflour Baking Company in Tahoe donated some donuts. How about space heaters?
I can't imagine being interested in the aesthetics of the penis after all that icy plunging, but here are some guys running naked through the snow.
More after the break. Caution: Icy.
Blake Michael: The "Dog with a Blog" brother starts a band, stalks a teacher, vanishes into corporate. With Blake and Dano dicks
I haven't been watching Disney Channel programs regularly since the days of Hannah Montana, so all I heard of Dog with a Blog (2012-15) was buzz about how ridiculous the premise was: three kids discover that their dog is sentient, can talk, and actually has a blog where he discusses his experiences and tries to find other dogs. How is that more ridiculous than a pop star pretending to be a regular girl, both daughters of a famous country-western music singer, and no one suspecting for an instant?
Critics lambasted the show for its "lackluster writing' and absence of any actual blogging, but it averaged 3 million viewers in the first season, and was nominated for three Emmies. The main players appear to be Chloe and Avery, two tween sisters from a blended family, but there was also a teenage brother, Tyler (Blake Michael).
Plus Dad Bennett (Regan Burns) and Avery's enemy/crush (L.J. Benet), who now has abs but smiling smugly as girls in bikinis surround him.
Besides, I haven't found any n*de photos of L.J. But there are some of Blake.
Blake got his start in modeling at age three, and had his first on-screen role at age eight, playing a restaurant patron in Chosen (2004). Small parts in October Road, Out of Jimmy's Head, and The Mortician followed.
He had a starring role in Lemonade Mouth (2011), which I never saw because I thought the term referred to some kind of terminal cancer. It's actually the name of a bad that five high schoolers who start a band -- I guess disgusting names are de rigeur for rock bands. The boys are Charlie (Blake) and Wen (Adam Hicks). Both get girlfriends, and the remaining girl gets a boyfriend, and so on, and so on. Heteronormativity fulfilled.
Sorry, this is the only photo I could find where the two guys are together, not bookending the three girls.
It's a little tangential, but Adam Hicks is known as one of the Disney Channel's skateboarding dudebros on Zeke and Luther (2009-12). His partner, Hutch Dano, has retired from acting to become a painter.
And post photos of his d*ck (after the break).
A classic gay-subtext romance in "Godzilla v. Kong: The New Empire." Plus some penises, of course.
For Movie Night this week, we sawGodzilla v. Kong: The New Empire (2024).
I didn't actually understand what was going on most of the time:
There was a Hollow Earth, which you can only get to through a space warp.
A Lost Civilization that predates anything on the surface, where people communicate through telepathy and use crystals to manipulate matter and antimatter.
A Chosen One.
A tribe of giant apes that live next to a volcano, and keep a giant glowing stegasaurus captive. King Kong joins them, becomes their leader after fighting an evil dude, and adopts a baby ape.
Another giant stegasaurus, which fights King Kong in Egypt and takes out the Great Pyramid of Giza.
Nearby Cairo is an Orientalist myth instead of a modern city with skyscrapers and Starbucks.
Is that a gay couple?
A giant glowing moth.
A fight between the two dinosaurs and two apes that takes out Rio de Janiero.
I guess you just have to say "Look! Monsters fighting!"
Five people go to the Hollow Earth to check on Disturbances in the Force or something.
1. Mikael (Alex Fern, top photo), the driver of the transport vehicle, who gets eaten by a man-eating plant right away.
2. Ilene Andrews, an expert on the Iwi Culture of Skull Island, where King Kong lived before he moved to the Hollow Earth.
3. Her adopted daughter Ji, the last of her tribe, who doesn't speak.
4. Tripper (Dan Stevens, left), a roguish, devil-may-care monster veterinarian.
5. Conspiracy theory podcaster Bernie (Brian Tyree Henry).
When Tripper shows up, you assume he's going to be smooching with Ilene by fadeout. That's what happens in 300,000 action adventure movies, right?
Nope. He mentions that they were friends in college, but gives no hint of a past or present relationship. Instead, he starts flirting with Podcaster Bernie, who is suspicious at first but warms up to him.
They hug.
More after the break
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