Noah Galvin: 7 gay characters, a husband, a Pride cake, lots of dick pics, and guys still think he's straight?

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The Lake Episode 1.4: Sleazy mayorJerry O'Connell wants a three-way with Justin and his date. What's a gay guy to do?

 

I already reviewed the first episode of The Lake, a comedy about a gay guy who returns to the Lake where he spent summers during his childhood, with plots about bonding with the teenage daughter he never met and trying to save his grandfather's beloved cabin.  I want to review Episode 4 because: it features a gay three-way with 1990s heartthrob Jerry O'Connell

Scene 1: Everyone is cheering at the junior lifeguard trials. Justin (Jordan Gavaris, left) and his Daughter watch from a distance and make fun of them.  But they're only being slightly sarcastic today, because they have won a victory: the board voted against the Evil Maisy's scheme to renovate (that is, tear down) the cottage Justin visited in as a child -- he never actually lived there, but he is desperate to keep it the way it was, a sort of anchor to his past.  Most of the plot arcs involve Jason trying to keep the cottage out of Evil Maisy's clutches.  

Speak of the Devil: Evil Maisy drops by to introduce Jason to Gil the Thrill (Jerry O'Connell), who  is running for Mayor.  Gloating, Evil Maisy notes that the Mayor can re-classify the cottage as a farmhouse, which doesn't need Board approval to be...torn down!  

To make matter's worse, he's hot for Jason!  Dude, maybe you could convince him to not-reclassify the cottage by getting on your knees? No, not to beg.

Scene 2: By the way, Daughter's Crush (Jared Scott), who also happens to be Evil Maisy's son, won the lifeguard contest.  The first Chinese-Canadian Junior Lifeguard in Lake history!  He gets his sash and the keys to the legendary Boathouse while Mom, Dad, and his brother Opal (Declan Whaley) watch.  No, Opal is not trans, or nonbinary.  He's a femme gay boy.  

After the boys leave to hang out with Justin's Daughter, Evil Maisy and her Semi-Evil Husband (Terry Chen, left) discuss their evil scheme to get the cabin re-classified.  "Remember, Dear, this is Justin's fault.  He sabotaged my previous play to destroy his childhood memories, mwah-ha-ha, so, so stay frosty."

Scene 3: Justin is going through withdrawal from junk food due to Daughter's health consciousness, so he runs into the Tuck Shop, sneaks behind the counter, and grabs some chips. Manager Riley (Travis Nelson, below) appears. Beep! Gil the Thrill (mayoral candidate Jerry O'Connell) is contacing them both on Grindr.  Nice chest, and he's into three-ways, but he's in cahoots with Evil Maisy!  

Scene 4: Cut to Daughter and her Crush discussing the evil re-classification scheme.  Even though he's Evil Maisy's son, Crush wants to keep the cabin, for a reason too complicated (and gross) to explain. 

After Crush leaves, Scandinavian Hippie Ulrika comes in with a fish to be tested for herpes.  A big deal --if it tests positive, they have to close down the lake for weeks-- no boating, swimming, waterskiing, or construction.  Hmm -- Daughter has a idea.

Scene 5: Justin talks to Jayne, apparently his only Ally in the cabin plot.  She is upset because Daugher's Crush won Junior Lifeguard instead of her own daughters. "Grr...Evil Maisy and her family ruin every.  The next time I see hre, I'm going to tell her...."  Whoops, at that moment her ally Gil the Thrill appears. "...how excited I am about her cook-out tonight.  I'm bringing crab cakes."

When she leaves, Gil gets down to business: he wants to hook up with Justin. "No way -- you're on Evil Maisy's team, trying to destroy my childhood memories!"  

"But I might change my mind on the reclassification if you'll have sex with me."nees. Hey, that's sexual coercion! I know, I thought of it first. 

:"Thanks, but I have a date with Riley tonight." "I like three-ways. Bring him along, and it's a done deal.  I'll refuse to reclassify and stick it to Evil Maisy after I stick it to you."

More sticking after the break

David Faustino: Bud on "Married with Children" is star-ving, humiliated, butt-nekkid, and a gay ally

 

Everybody in West Hollywood watched Married..with Children (1987-1997) for its savage skewering of the heterosexist trajectory of job, house, wife, kids.  Al Bundy (Ed O'Neill, later patriarch Jay of Modern Family) is working at a soul-destroying minimum-wage job and, although he likes women in general, hates having s*x with Peg (Katie Sagal, later Leela on Futurama), a housewife who never cooks or cleans (although the house is always spotless).  His daughter Kelly (Christina Applegate) is constantly lambasted for being a "slut," and his son Bud (David Faustino), for being a "virgin."

Gay people only appeared in one or two episodes, always with a "har-har, they're gay!  Isn't that ridiculous!" comedic edge.  

But at least they weren't sleazoid serial killers.

When David began to bulk up, the writers obliged by making him extremely attractive, but still unable to acquire girls due to his abrasive personality.

After Married, David played a gay character in Get Your Stuff (2000), about a gay couple wanting to adopt a baby as a fashion accessory, and instead getting preteen brothers.  According to the trailer, there are a lot of jokes about the dads accidentally getting n*ked and the boys trying to get with a hot older woman.

In Killer Bud (2001): two down-and-out buds (David, Corin Nemec) try to burglarize a convenience store.  My first Faustino profile said that he played a gay character, but I can't see it in the synopsis.

Inn Ten Attitudes (2001), he played "himself," not gay but on the gay dating circuit (for a sleazy reason).

In 2008 he was cast as the lead in The Gay Robot, a pilot for a tv series about...um, a gay robot.  The project was never filmed, but the script might have been tweaked into the movie Robodoc (2009)

David hasn't played any specifically-identified gay characters since, but he often introduces gay subtexts deliberately into his work.

A lot of his movies feature stoner buddies, often David and Corin Nemec: Pucked, High Hopes, Puff Puff Pass, The Hustle, Not another B Movie.

In his web series Star-Ving (2009), he plays"himself" as a has-been, starving actor whose only source of income is a sleazy video shop.  There are cameos from various actors with a sleazy reputation, including Seth Green, Coolio, Ron Jeremy, and Kato Kaelin. 

There is a again a deliberate gay subtext in his relationship with Nemec, and a lot of backside shots, mostly an attempt to humiliate David or demonstrate how "ugly" he is. 

Here he wakes up after a night of debauchery with Ron Jeremy and some ladies.

More after the break

Gladiator II: Not as homophobic as you think, and there are musclemen

 

Tonight's movie night movie was Gladiator II, the sequel to Ridley Scott's Gladiator (2000) -- 25 years later.  I didn't want to see it because I heard it was extremely homophobic, but actually it wasn't bad.  Well, it was jingoistic and very violent, but the homophobia and heterosexism weren't too bad.

The wife of Numidian soldier Hanno (Paul Mescal) is killed during a Roman invasion around 200 AD, and he cries, screams, tries to prevent her from crossing the River Lethe for about five minutes, but then he rarely mentions her again, and he doesn't get a new girlfriend.  

He concentrates on getting revenge on the leader of the invading force, General Acacius (Pedro Pascal, left), which he will accomplish by becoming a gladiator under the scheming Macrinus (Denzel Washington).  

These aren't the hand-to-hand combat gladiators of sword-and-sandal movies.  The spectacles in the Coliseum include fights with baboons and a rhinocerous, and a sea-battle with full-size ships in a shark-infested tank

Guess what: Hanno discovers that he is actually the grandson of Marcus Aurelius, and therefore the true heir of the Roman Empire.  Plus his mother is now married to General Acacius -- he wants revenge on his stepfather!  Anybody up for an Oedipal conflict?

The only other heteronormative moment occurs when Hanno asks gladiator physician Ravi (Alexander Karim) why he traveled from India to Rome: "I met a woman."

Hanno grins: "There's always a woman."  Not always, heteronormative jerk. Gay men exist.

Homophobia: Pedro Pascal and Paul Mescal have both played gay characters. Macrinus, who is plotting to take over the Empire, has a "twinkle of bisexuality," according to Ridley Scott. 

 I've published a lot about gay subtexts, and I didn't notice anything. A scene where he kisses a guy was cut, "but not due to homophobia."  Of course not, due to the belief that this is 1973, and audiences will rush from the theater.   All that is left is a statement that he "doesn't like women" some days. Dude is closeted to the point of invisibility.

The decadent (that is, acting like women) twin Emperors Geta and Caracalla (Joseph Quinn, Fred Hechinger) are oozing with homophobic villain stereotypes, except one is gay and the other is straight (we can tell because they are each fondling a consort during a depraved-party scene).

The gay one, Caracalla, actually seems to be a little more stable (which is not saying much: he installs his pet monkey his chief advisor).  

They just need to be swishy stereotypes to counterbalance the hard straightness of their rival Hanno.

More after the break.