You are invited to Kelvin and Keefe's wedding, with 10 new scenes and exclusive photos from the honeymoon

 

Here are some additional scenes from the event of the year, wedding of Kelvin Gemstone (Adam Devine) and Keefe Chambers (Tony Cavalero), on The Righteous Gemstones Episode 4.9

1. The cover of the wedding program.

2. Martin, the church accountant: "Once upon a time, there were two  princes who fell in love."  The family applauds.

3. Sola, the nanny for Baby Billy and Tiffany's children: "Alles gutes zum Hochzeitstag." (Happy Wedding Day).

4. Nephew Pontius: "Hey, Uncle Kelvin and Uncle Keefe. I hope you guys have a great marriage. Don't f*k too hard, ok?"

5. Nephew Gideon: "What Pontius is trying to say is, let your love... may your love be a blessing."  Looks like he is vaping.

Pontius clarifies:  "Let your love be deep and hard...deep and hard.  Best wishes, guys."

6. Kelvin and Keefe dance. Keefe does The Worm.  He lifts Kelvin in his arms.

7. The nephews spin around and blow bubbles. 

8. We see other family members: BJ, Judy, and Amber.

More after the break.  Caution: Explicit.

Aaron Moody: Who has the monster cock, the Nip/Tuck fratboy or the Swindon reserve goal keeper? With two butts and a lot of monster cocks

 

I swear, I did it right this time.  Searching for short videos on the nude celebrity site, I found Aaron Moody displaying an enormous cock.  So big that it was rather shocking, and I've seen a lot of them.

I've been fooled before with videos of non-actors, so I immediately checked the IMDB, and found that Aaron Moody had six acting roles.  His professional resume listed several more.

Ok, we were good to go on a profile.

Aaron was born on December 18, 1979 in Grants Pass, Oregon, in the far south of the state, near the California border.  As a teenager he had starring roles in The Tell Tale Heart, Philadelphia Here I Come, and Twelfth Night.  After graduating from high school in 1998, he moved to Los Angeles, took acting lessons, and started auditioning.

In 2000 his commercial for the Volkswagon Cabrio won a Cleo Award, and hit #48 on the Cosmo list of "Sexiest Stuff Ever."  The guy and his girlfriend drive their Cabrio through the darkness to a house party, where everyone is impressed.

Aaron's tv debut came the same year, on an episode of Crime Strike: a recreation of real-life events where "heroic citizens" used guns to defend themselves against aggressors. Sounds like a validation of the Tough on Crime Movement, which gave the U.S. the highest incarceration rate in the world.

Next came a short, The Truth about Beef Jerky (2002): Count Nugent (a parody of singer Ted Nugent) lures a group of hippies with the promise of a music festival, but he and his right-wing pals are really going to kill the "deviants" and turn them into beef jerky.  

The short is available for streaming on Youtube: Aaron plays the hackey-sack playing Paul, who is eviscerated by Count Nugent's arrows.  

Filmmaker Fritz Junker was definitely on the side of the hippies: "I spent six months researching Nugent's lifestyle. He's a total and complete lunatic."

Aaron's next major on-screen role came in a 2005 episode of the plastic-surgery show Nip/Tuck: Christian is called in to perform emergency surgery on a fraternity hazing ritual gone wrong: Alex (Aaron) and another pledge had their cheeks super-glued to the butt of Derek (Adam Henderschott). 

I went through the entire episode on fast-forward, to see if Aaron returns.  Later Christian (Julian McMahon, top photo) shows his butt, savagely criticizes a guy for being bisexual, says that his girlfriend is "my property" (she agrees), and tells us that "the traditional ways are the best: marriage should consist of one man and one woman."  Holy cow, the guy is a sexist, homophobic bigot. Apparently the show was well known for its homophobia.

In 2006 Aaron played a dialogue replacement actor in John Tucker Must Die and a reporter in Love, Hollywood Style: "four intertwining stories filled with fantasy, set in the entertainment industry on Valentine's Day."  I haven't found a plot synopsis online.

Next came two plays: 

The Speed of Darkness: Two Vietnam veterans have a terrible secret that could destroy their lives (no, it's not being gay).

Thursday: A drama about a lady who lost her leg in the London bombing.

And two short films:

Chope (2007): A young man deals with the death of his mother.

Cessation (2009): Matt (Ben Shields) thinks that he met the Girl of His Dreams, but she turns into a monster.

And "loop group" for Adventures in Appletown (2009), starring Cole and Dylan Sprouse from The Suite Life of Zack and Cody.

The monster cock after the break.  Caution: Explicit.

Operation Taco Gary's: A gay porn star, Keefe, the "American Pie" guy, the cock that got censored, tacos, and aliens. And everybody's gay.

 

Tony Cavalero (yes, I still follow his Instagram) announced that Operation Taco Gary's, which he completed in 2023, has finally found a broadcast home, on Amazon Prime. I've been waiting for this for awhile, so here goes:

Scene 1: As the radio announces the death of actor Jason Biggs (best known for the American Pie franchise), a guy runs through the woods in his underwear, holding a book or a box.  He yells "F*k you, Biggs!"

Flashback to the child Bulge Guy and his buddy or brother trying to destroy their neighborhood.  As an old fat guy sunbathes in s Speedo, child Bulge Guy accidentally pushes his buddy into a wall, knocking him out. He runs away, past a sign saying "Moving sale. Please buy my stuff." 

Scene 2: In a run-down house, a guy is lying on the bed, despondent, while his roommate or boyfriend, Luke (Dustin Milligan), sells off their stuff. They're moving to Ottawa. Wait -- the moving sale is in the present. What about the kids?  They weren't Bulge Guy and his buddy?

Someone asks about a painting of the Pope eating dinner with Big Foot.  "It's not mine.  I'm basically Jewish."

"That's not true," a voice calls from another room.  "I've seen his penis.  Ample foreskin. His dick looks like the head of a baby elephant."  

It's Bulge Guy, Luke's long-lost brother!  He's a conspiracy theorist who lives off the grid, and he brought the painting because the Catholic Church is supressing evidence of Bigfoot.

They discuss Luke's move to Canada.  "You got a girlfriend  up there?"

"No.  I wish." Heterosexual identity established at Minute 7.  "I'm a new paleontology researcher. I start on Monday."

Bulge Guy guilts his way into an invitation to come along.  Who was the roommate despondent over Luke leaving?  Maybe a random person trying out the bed?  A little confusing, director!.

Scene 3: Driving to Canada on narrow country roads through the woods.  On the radio: "Jason Biggs' death has been ruled a homicide"  Bulge Guy looks suspicious.

Left: Research reveals that Bulge Guy is played by Simon Rex, unrecognizeable from his early days in gay-ish porn.

They stop at Taco Gary's for lunch.  Bulge Guy claims that his days of scamming the Portuguese mafia out of Taiwanese ketamine are over.  He just wants to be a good brother.

Cut to the police breaking into Luke's empty house.  They find a Taco Gary's wrapper and conclude that Luke is now helping Bulge Guy. 

Scene 4: An ugly guy with a physique that's um...well, I'm sure he has a nice cock.  He awakens, brushes his teeth, and heads to the dentist office to protest the practice of putting microchips in our teeth.   

Getting gas nearby, Luke and Bulge Guy see him. So he's going to join the team?

Uh-oh, Bulge Guy sees a car, rushes over, and accosts the old lady driving with a hunting knife. He shows her a taco, and refers to the "TG Truce of '21."  She doesn't know what he's talking about.  "Sorry, I mistook you for a member of the Coalition."

While he's gone, Luke checks his backpack and finds that Bulge Guy is not taking is meds.

Scene 5: They zoom off.  Hey, what about the ugly guy with the sign?  You spent so much time showing him getting dressed, I thought he would be a major character.  

Luke confronts Bulge Guy for not taking his meds, destroying his cell phone, and attacking the old lady.   He can't accommodate his brother's craziness anymore, and orders him out of the car.  But Bulge Guy gives him an injection that knocks him out, and drags him into the woods.

Scene 6: He awakens at night, by a campfire, remembers what happened, and tries to run away, but Bulge Guy injects him again.  And a third time. Just tie him up, dude.

Bulge Guy explains: he needs Luke's identity to sneak into Canada.  He's already stolen Luke's passport, wallet, and car keys, so he can't say no. "You'll get them back when we cross the border, and you'll still be in Ottawa in time for your new job."  How are both of them going to get into Canada with the same passport?

He gives Luke a high-tech, alien-made homing device to use instead of a government-hacked cell phone.

"This is a Rubik's Cube painted black."

Uh-oh, the cops have found their car!  Bulge Guy yells "We are armed and extremely dangerous!"  They approach with guns pulled.  Run!

They run. Luke and the two cops all hurt their ankles on the same log (not funny, painful to watch). 

They stumble across a white-haired guy camping, and by taking off his pants, Bulge Guy convinces him to give them a ride. So he liked your bulge?  

"By the way, I've kidnapped my brother, and I'm forcing him to help me against his will."

"No problem," White-Haired Guy says, no doubt thinking that they both must have big cocks.

Scene 7: They stop at a gym and ride the mechanical bull while waiting for a badger (someone who helps you illegally cross the border).  She descends the stairs in slow motion while Luke gapes in Girl of My Dreams squishiness. I was wondering when he would meet The Girl.

She actually works at the gym, at the smoothie bar.  While they are talking, Bulge Guy tells Luke, "I know that look. You're sexually attracted to her, aren't you?"  Hey, that will ruin his chances with The Girl.

Turns out that she's not really a badger.   But she has nothing else to do today, and Bulge Guy always has "crazy, fun" ideas, so why not?

More after the break

Khemjira: A Thai shaman and his students find boyfriends, with a "Power Ranger" demon, muscular ghosts, magic bees, a play, and penises

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