Gemstones Season 4 Finale: Saying goodbye to the Gemstones. With eight gay/bi characters, countless cocks, and a friggin' glory hole.

 

In March 2023, my partner and I subscribed to the streaming service HBO/MAX to watch science fiction programs like The Last of Us and Doctor Who.  He  also wanted to watch The Righteous Gemstones, a comedy/drama about "a famous and dysfunctional family of televangelists," but "No, thanks." After a childhood of preachers screaming "God hates you!" every Wednesday night and twice on Sunday, I thought that even a critique of evangelical homophobia would be too traumatic.

Then one day I was walking through the living room on the way to a snack, and I saw the Gemstones walking in slow motion toward Jason's Steakhouse: A nuclear family husband, wife, and kids; another male-female couple and their pregnant daughter; and, taking up the rear, a gay couple!  They were holding hands!  They joined the others at the dinner table with no recriminations, no stupid questions about "which of you is the man?", no yelling about the Book of Leviticus.  I was astonished.

Watching from the beginning, I found a show that was crass, vulgar, and often grotesque, with annoying plot holes and a complete disregard for internal consistency.  Plus it took forever for the showrunners to admit that Kelvin and Keefe were canon, resulting in endless annoying "they're really straight buddies" arguments. But once they were acknowledged, Season 4 became a masterpiece of gay inclusion, with their wedding the pivotal moment of the entire series.  

A gay wedding was the pivotal moment in a series about Evangelicals!

Plus: A more obvious, and highly erotic, romance between Gideon and Scotty.

Both Eli and Baby Billy have gay relationships in their past.

Queer coded characters everywhere.  Just when you think there couldn't be any more, they start dropping hints about Pontius. 

Two homoerotic bands of brothers taken directly from Tom of Finland prints.

A near total absence of heterosexual activity, and almost no lady parts.

Nonstop beefcake.

Penises in nearly every episode.  

 A friggin' glory hole!

Gay men were not only welcome at the table, the table was designed for them.  In the midst of some profound theological questions about faith and forgiveness.

There has never been anything on tv like it.

Two years have passed, with two conference presentations, a scholarly book, two blogs with over 500 reviews and profiles each, over 20 fan stories, and endless fan discussions. And now it's time to say goodbye (sort of).

Fortunately, the Series Finale features a special goodbye message for those viewers who found the show, and the characters, especially meaningful:

Saying Goodbye is Never Easy: During the Kelvin-Keefe wedding reception, while Eli watches everyone dancing, we hear the letter that  his deceased wife Aimee-Leigh wrote to her best friend Lori  years ago:

Saying goodbye is never easy -- it's not something I've ever been good at.  Sometimes it's easier to never say goodbye and just leave things where they lay.  Don't wrap it up all nice and neat.  

Hear that, fans?  We're not going to tie up every loose end.

The Grave:  Eli hugging Lori as she cries at Corey's grave.   

Takeaways: 

1. Corey was born in 1976, so he's six years older than Jesse, making it unusual for them to be friends.  Imagine a 10 year old and a 16 year old hanging out.

2. Season 4 begins in September 2024.  Corey dies in July 2025.  The wedding takes place several months later, I estimate in October.

3. Continuity error: the Gator Farm Massacre occurred in late June or early July 2025.  Earlier we read that Big Dick Mitch went missing in March 2024.  No way he was a prisoner for over a year.  

Don't look for closure in a goodbye.  We rarely get the closure we want. Most times we don't even get the closure we need.  Sometimes things happen and the life we knew is taken from us, just like that. It can happen fast.

I'll need a minute.

Hugging: Back at the reception. Eli grins at the people dancing and hugging.  Jesse and Amber hug.  Kelvin dances with Aunt Tiffany and his sister Judy. Keefe hugs Uncle Baby Billy.  

Cut to Baby Billy, Tiffany, and their Nanny having a picnic. 

It's in those times you realize how precious friends are, family.  

The Gold Bible: The Siblings install the Gold Bible, the Maguffin of the season, on a pedestal at the Salvation Center, in front of a video presentation about Aimee-Leigh and Eli's ministry.

How important it is to let Jesus' love find you through them so we can lift each other up. 

Gideon Finds His Place: Performing at the opening of the new Gemstone Christian Skatepark, Gideon is able to combine his interest in stuntwork and the ministry. Banners say: Christian Skate Summit.

A shot of Jesse talking to his arch-nemesis Vance Simkins was cut. Apparently they're on friendly terms.

Jesse's kids, Pontius and Abraham, with Ash on one side and Edge on the other, gawk at the stunts.  Now there are girl skaters; previously Pontius' group has been entirely male.  I'm calling it: he's bi. 

And Abraham's pink shirt?  Plus check out his room in Episod 1.1: pictures of Holly Hobby dolls and a ballerina nightlight.  He's gay. Prove me wrong.

Aimee-Leigh continues: So we can fly even higher.   

Shot of Gideon flying high.

More after the break

My 16 teen idol fave raves, from Rock Island to West Hollywood, with David's dick and Alex's super-dick

 

This is a list of my favorite teen stars from 1975-2000, when I was growing up in Rock Island and a young adult in West Hollywood (with three years in New York at the end).  The profiles are posted for nostalgia, for fun, and for aesthetic appeal -- when I investigated these guys as adults, a surprising number turned out to be gay, or have nude photos online, or both.

1.Michael Cade.  The only reason to watch California Dreams, aka Saved by the Bell-light.

2. David Naughton.  The cutest guy of the Disco Era taught us how to "be a Pepper," and showed his dick as an American werewolf (in London).

3. Glen Scarpelli.  The femme boy who valiantly pretended to be straight on One Day at a Time grew up, came out, and moved to Taos.  

4. Jeff East. The Disney teen graduated to play a naked fratboy.

5. Zach Galligan.  The Gremlins guy ruined my childhood, sort of, but showed his d*ck as an adult.

6. Mat Botuchis.  The chest that launched a thousand fantasies.

7. Andrew Keegan The original Teenage Caveman played a gay guy in The Broken Hearts Club, and kissed Superman himself, Dean Cain.

8.Chad Allen.  The heartthrob made Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman a must-see.  He came out and started playing gay detectives with nude scenes.

More after the break.  Caution: Explicit.

Unchosen: A mysterious stranger seduces a gay fundamentalist and his wife. Plus murder, Nazarene triggers, and Asa's dick

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Jack Caroll is trollied, eaten by lions, endures soap opera angst, does stand-up comedy, shows his backside and his dick

Mobility is a BAFTA Award-winning comedy short about three boys from Huddlesfield, Yorkshire, who get on each other's nerves as they ride the mobility bus to school.  

Surly Dan (Ruben Reuter) insults everyone, mostly by references to the sexual proficiency of "your Mum."

Upbeat Sonny (Zak Ford-Williams) announces that "the only disability is a bad attitude," and chastises Dan: his behavior is not in keeping with the spirit of the Duke of Edinburgh award. 

Entrepreneur Mike (Jack Carroll) claims to be the future Wolf of Wakefield; he's going to make a fortune on the stock market.

I researched Ruben and Zak, and discovered that they are both gay in real life.  Coincidence, or a deliberate casting decision?

Time to check out the third, Jack Carroll, who also co-wrote the script.  

He has the longest resume of the three: Born in 1998 in Bradford, Yorkshire, started his career at age 12.  Comedian Jason Manford saw a video of Jack performing at his parents' wedding anniversary, and invited him to perform at a show at St. George's Hall.  

A film of his comedy bit aired on The One Show,leading  Britain's Got Talent, where he was runner-up, and 13 episodes of the sketch comedy show The Ministry of Curious Stuff (2012). Episodes of 4 O'Clock Club, Katy, Big School, and Ministry of Justice followed.

And the feature film Eaten by Lions (2018).  After their Gran dies, half-brothers Pete and Omar (Jack, Antonio Aakeel) go off in search of Omar's estranged dad. They find him in the tawdry, seedy tourist trap of Blackpool (for Americans, think Atlantic City).  Pete gets a girlfriend, and shows his bum.  I reviewed it several years ago.  It got a low grade for heteronormativity.

Next came 25 episodes of Trollied (2014-18), about the workers in a run-down supermarket (for Americans, a trolly is a shopping cart).  Mark Addy, who stripped down in The Full Monty (1997), played head butcher Andy, and perennial nude dude Joel Fry played nice guy Leighton.

Jack's character, 16-year old Harry, is the brightest of the group: he received 9 A-grades in his GCSEs (tests taken during Year 11 of secondary school).  He's heterosexual.

In the short Newbie (2023), a new teacher is worried that students won't accept him because of his disability.   Weird-- the guy played a high school student that same year.  But Cole Sprouse was 30 when he finished playing high schooler Jughead on Riverdale.

 

Jack's biggest role to date is Bobby Crawford in 69 episodes of the soap Coronation Street (2023-25). 

In 2023, the teenage Bobby argues with his mum's boyfriend, and gets kicked out.  He looks up his birth dad, Rob Donovan (Marc Bayliss), who is in prison, and gets a referral to live with his Aunt Carla on....Coronation Street.

Ulp...maybe a soap opera community is not the best home.  Aunt Carla has a life-threatening illness, then disowns Bobby due to his friendship with his birth dad. He is kidnapped, becomes a hostage, is accused of murder....

His crush Lauren disappears, presumably murdered; then she reappears, is accused of murder, and is blackmailed.  Am I getting this right?  It seems rather repetitive.  Finally Bobby has had enough; he runs away to Majorca to work on a fishing boat with a male friend.  

Jack explains that he had to leave the show to prepare for a national tour, but maybe he was getting tired of the angst.  He's primarily a comedian, after all.

He has performed on Britain's Got Talent, Britain's Got More Talent, Loose Ladies, Pointless Celebrities, Sunday Brunch, This Morning, The Stand Up Sketch Show, and Would I Lie to You?, as well as many live venues.  In 2026 his "Fall Guy" tours Scotland, beginning in Edinburgh. 

More after the break