Nathaniel Bacon: Canadian muscleman plays classic gay characters, but is he gay in real life? With three cock shots, Christmas, and Charlie Brown

 

My "Profiles to Do" collection has a folder entitled "Nathaniel Bacon," compiled on December 25th of last year: a day that I generally devote to celebrating the end of the dark melancholic Holiday Season and those depressing Holiday songs, especially Judy Garland's "Haaaaaaave youuuuurself..."  

Nathaniel Bacon must have been special to warrant starting a folder on that auspicious day, but it contains only six photos: three nude, two muscle, and one indicating that he's a fan of The Golden Girls (and Friday the 13th).

I'll check his Instagram for more photos before committing to a profile.

And maybe some that I can post on the G-rated, censor-happy site.

Not much luck in that department: Nathaniel is wearing underwear that shows everything in almost all of his Instagram photos.  Maybe he can't help it.  Even extra-large is too small for him.

I found one where he's displaying his butt, not his bulge.  Does that count?

Finally, a G-rate photo.  He's with a lady, but that can't be helped.  When he's not bulging, he's hugging, frolicking with, or dining with a lady (or two or three). I'm going to peg Bacon Boy as straight.  

His tagline tells us that he's a tv/stage/film actor and singer, Broadway World Toronto Award Winner, and ACTRA Award Nominee, so let's check out his plays.  Maybe some have gay content.

Cabaret: A muscle guy.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show: Rocky, of course.

Hedwig and the Angry Inch: um...he played Hedwig? 

Fade to Black:  The "young, gay fan" of a movie legend.

Wait....

Mike and Aaron Write a Musical:  Mike, in an "enchanting gay love story."

That's a lot of gay content, Bacon Boy.  Are you sure that you're straight?  Maybe you're hugging, dining with, and cuddling in hot tubs with platonic pals, or your sister? 

Nathaniel's on screen work and more of his cock after the break.  Caution: Explicit.

Arturo Castro: The gay Guatemalan roommate and gay-subtext gangster, with the cock that got censored.

 

When I posted a cock pic of gay-subtext gangster Arturo Castro on my review of Mike + Nick, it got a "sensitive warning" exclamation point that wouldn't go away.  Wait -- isn't every post on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends sensitive? .  

So I'm going to try again, and put the post so far down that I won't see the exclamation point.

Guatemalan actor Arturo Castro is best known for Broad City (2014-19), the New York gal-pal sitcom.  He plays Jaime Castro, Ilana's pocket-gay roommate, in 25 episodes.  Most of his centrics involve being fashion conscious and shy, but eventually he begins dating Johnny (Guillermo Diaz, right).

A n*de photo of Guillermo.

Arturo has 95 other acting credits listed on the IMDB, but I don't recognize any except Narcos (2015-17), a biography of drug lord Pablo Escobar, and The Menu (2022), about a chef whose posh creations involve the deaths of his dinner guests. As far as I can tell, none of his other characters are gay

Although he does show his physique in a 2019 episode of Room 104, the anthology series featuring paranormal problems bedeviling guests who stay in that room.  Craig (Arturo) suffers from a debilitating skin condition that gets worse and worse, no matter what he tries.

Shaving doesn't help.

But he never gives up hope, which is why he continues smiling even as his body falls apart.

We see his backside, too.

Nice tush, buddy.  Too bad you're not into bottom stuff.  With guys, anyhow.

More after the break, including the c*ck that got me censored.  

If It's Tuesday, It's Murder": Tourists with dark secrets solve a murder. With a dreamy dude, a queer teen, cop cock, and Lisbon sights

One of the iconic movies of my childhood (seen on tv, of course) was If It's Tuesday, This Must Be Belgium, about the adventures of a group of wacky American tourists abroad.  The Spanish tv series If it's Tuesday, it's Murder (Si es Martes, es Asesinato) is probably not a homage, but I'm watching it anyway. 

Scene 1:  Monday: In a tiny restroom, a hunky guy (Alejandro Garcia, left) changes out of his bloodstained clothes (nice bulge) and into a suit.  He tells us "This isn't what it looks like -- or maybe it is."

A group of mismatched Spanish tourists are boarding the bus for a trip to Lisbon (seven hours from Madrid): 

1.-3. Fabio from the restroom.  A teenage girl and her drag queen buddy swoon over him.

4-7.. An elderly Miss Marple in a wheelchair, traveling with her hunky son, her daughter, and her young adult grandson (Alvero de Juana, left).  They all dislike her. 

8.. A young woman wearing headphones seems suspicious of everyone.

9.-11. Neurodivergent Daniel (Biel Montoro, left), who is arguing with the bus driver about the proper route. A woman calls him "sweetheart" and "my love," which in the U.S. would mean a romantic partner, but she looks old enough to be his mother. 

Update: he's traveling with his mom and dad.  

12,  Cristina, the tour guide, who divulges too much about discovering her husband's affair and  25-year old daughter by the other woman. Hopefully this will become important later.

And several others.

13.  Four hours later, they reach Badajoz, near the Portuguese border.  They stop to pick up another tourist (Pedro Casablanc, left), an elderly guy in a 1940s bow tie and fedora.  

Scene 2:  Two hours later, they arrive in Lisbon, and stop at Praça do Comércio, Commerce Plaza, on the Tagus River.  A lady asks Suspicious Girl to take her photo, but Dreamy Fabio is in the background.  He rushes off so he won't be in the picture.  Later she is almost hit by a car while crossing the street, but Fedora Guy pulls her out of the way.

 Daniel refuses to get off the bus because this stop is not on the itinerary: "Something's not right."

His hunch is correct:  The hotel lost Tour Guide Cristina's reservations, so she's scrounging for something at the last minute.

All the agent has: The Marquez, a horrible pink block under the train tracks. 

The Manager (Paulo Pires, butt and back cock left) gives them the tour: "It's been a hospital, a convent, a prison, an opium den, even a brothel .  It survived the 1755 earthquake and tsunami, when every other building in Lisbon was destroyed."

Scene 3: They retreat to their rooms.

Photo-taking lady gets mysterious messages from someone planning to meet her in Lisbon.

Daniel arranges his desk properly, while his parents put up the paintings he needs. He's definitely queer coded.

The staff brought Fabio's suitcase into Suspicious Girl's room by mistake.  She opens it: clothes, ring, watch, a lot of cash, and a check.  Before she can investigate further, he knocks to retrieve it. 

More after the break. Caution: Explicit.

Gemstones Episode 4.5: The dirt on Vance, Big Dick Mitch, and Lori, with a nude Teenjus and Joey Stefano

 

Title: "You Shall Remember," from Deuteronomy 8.18: "You shall remember the Lord your God, for it is He who gives you the power to get wealth."  The Gemstones have forgotten that God made them rich so they can help people.  Tonight they'll get their comeuppance.  

The Dirt on Vance: Vance Simkins (Stephen Dorff) examines his burnt-out church and glares at the Gemstone satellite church across the street.  Cut to a Simpkins Commercial with him and his siblings, Craig and Shay, saying: "Grace.. .Praise... Rejoice..Salvation."

Vance calls his siblings to his office, but Shay won't come ("she wants nothing to do with you") and Craig (Gogo Lomo David) is just there for his money: their parents' estate put Vance in charge, so he has to depend on hand-outs.  Vance gives him $10,000, and tells him to make it last.

Craig criticizes Vance for running the church into the ground, destroying their parents' legacy.  He keeps trying to open new churches when they're broke, just to compete with the Gemstones: "You can't admit you're beat, can you?"  

Vance protests that he's going to win the Top Christ Following Man Award. 

"You're a straight white man," Craig digs. "Your kind don't get awards anymore. Wait -- are you straight?  Never had a girlfriend, sweetie-pie."  Enraged by the implication, Vance slaps Craig and throws him onto the desk.

Uh-oh, a church deacon saw the attack.  Vance is violent, like Uncle Peter in Season 3 and Lyle Lissons in Season 2....he's the Big Bad of the season!

Vance had some queer codes back in Season 3, when he swished around with that tiny dog.  It would make sense for him to be gay and closeted.

Gogo Lomo-David is gay in real life, but there's no evidence that his character is gay.

Baby Billy and Kelvin in Decline:  Baby Billy finishes his screenplay about a teenage Jesus and his friends, changes the title from "Teen Jesus" to "Teenjus," and snorts some cocaine.  That's the Belly of the Beast in the Gemstone universe, buddy.

Cut to Kelvin and Keefe rushing through the crowd of queer well-wishers to a party to celebrate his Top Christ Following Man nomination.  Jesse, Amber, and Judy look angry; Eli, Lori, and Gideon look happy.  Abraham looks intrigued; Pontius sneers.  Abraham is the last of Jesse's kids to get a queer code.  I wrote a fan story where he comes out.

They begin partying.  Kelvin joins his siblings to gloat at the big turnout.  Judy sneers: "You're their little gay avatar."  Jesse: "You need to stop smelling your farts."  Translation: He's getting way too conceited about this award thing.

Lori drops by.  They criticize her for having sex with their father.  She promises to lock the door next time, and asks if they can start over and be friends again.  After all, she's known them all their lives.  Nope, "We reject this union."  

Lori: "All y'all little cocksuckers better put on your big boy pants and get the fuck over it."  Hey, that's homophobic, and at a LGBTQ event!  My estimation of Lori dropped 20 points. 

She continues: "I wanted to be y'all's friend, but if you want a wicked stepmother, I can do that, too."  

The siblings interpret "stepmother" to mean that Lori and Eli got married.  They are disgusted. 

BJ's Injury. BJ tries to make it from the toilet to his wheelchair, but fails and falls into the bathtub. Judy rushes in to help.  He complains that he can't even pee on his own. "I'm broken. I'm half a man."

Judy points out that the doctors say he will have a full recovery, but he refuses believe it. When she tries to help him out of the bathtub, he angrily yells at her to go.  

Amber arrives to see how they are doing -- they're both miserable -- and to give Judy a service monkey named Dr. Watson.  She works with a charity that trains service monkeys for disabled veterans (first I'm hearing of it)

Rebuilding the Tree House: Cut to Keefe using his carpentry skill to rebuild the tree house that got destroyed in the storm (he actually has a crew, visible in the background).  He swings like Tarzan from one building to another.  Easter Egg: The blueprints are dated 4/24/24. 

Kelvin exclaims that "it's all coming together.  A project like this tree house is exactly what I needed."

Next up in the Top Christ Following Man of the Year contest is a tv roundtable discussion: "A great chance to drop some dank soundbits and establish myself as a clear fave."

The Yellow Kerchief: Jesse at the Cape & Pistol headquarters, drinking and glaring at Eli as he talks to his friends. Vance stops by to heckle him for Eli dating Lori, and to blame him for bombing the Simkins church.  He threatens to "drop a yellow kerchief," challenging Jesse to a duel.  Jesse smirks and pretends not to know who Vance is, angering him even more. 

BJ and Watson:  Judy introduces BJ to his new service monkey.  She demonstrates, asking him to bring a Black Cherry White Claw (a hard seltzer beverage) -- and he does!  Actually, it's Citrus Yuzu Smash, another flavor of White Claw.  Close enough.  Capuchin monkeys can learn up to 200 words and understand complex sentences. 

The Dirt on Big Dick: The Gemstone Leadership Team, aka Jesse's Goon Squad, has been researching Miss Lori's socials, and found lots of photos of her with different men, especially Big Dick Mick, her ex boyfriend (although Matthew doesn't think it's very big -- you can't see the outline through his pants.  This will become important later).  

A newspaper article reveals that Big Dick Mick went missing on May 11, 2024.  Plus several of Lori's other boyfriends have gone missing, and some are just dead: drowning, car accident, suicide.  Uh-oh, she's a "Black Widow."  

Wait -- Lori started dating Eli last September, during the Aimee-Leight telethon.  These guys are dying eight months or more after she ended the relationship.  Why would she kill them?  Corey must be the culprit.

The siblings need more information.  Time to ask someone who knows Miss Lori well.

Teenjus Again: Baby Billy pitches his television show, Teenjus, to the siblings.  They don't like the name.  He promises to give them some dirt on Miss Lori, if they greenlight the project, so they agree.

The dirt: Miss Lori begged him to let her sing at the telethon, saying that she was broke and needed the gig.  Don't performers volunteer their time at those things?  And she immediately starts dating Eli.  Suspicious?  That's it?  I expected something juicier.

The Dirt on Miss Lori:  The siblings wait for Eli, discussing who gets to "crush him" first with their revelation. 

When he arrives -- wearing a ridiculous outfit --  they reveal that many of Lori's ex-boyfriends have ended up missing or dead.  Also "she's in debt up to her eyeballs."  Eli thinks they're just making stuff up, and yells at them that "Mama ain't coming back!"

"Us or her?" the siblings demand.  "Pick a side."

He picks the one that lets him have s*x, of course.  

Later, as they fume, Kelvin struts his stuff, bragging about his achievements.  Jesse thinks that his nomination for Top Christ Following is a sham, just tokenism.  Got to nominate the gay guy to prove that we're into diversity, but no way will he win. I remember when I was applying for jobs, I would often get interviews as a diversity token.  

Kelvin counters that Jesse is a loser.  Even his kids don't respect him.  And Judy, married to "a pole-dancing cripple."  Dang, Kelvin, you're a super jerk today.   They both get hurt feelings from these savage jabs.  "I hope you feel good about yourself," Jesse says. 

Kelvin turns his back -- no, he doesn't feel good about himself at all.  

Filming Teenjus: Teenage Jesus (Matthew Garbacz) complains to his sidekick Johnny B, aka John the Baptist (Pilot Bunch) that the kids in the village will never give him a shot.  Maybe if he wins the big dance contest, they'll believe that he's the Chosen One.  A centurion (Dan Auerbach of the band Black Keys) criticizes him for being a trouble-maker: "You're late to class."

Baby Billy cuts the action and asks Jesus for more "smolder."  

Matthew Garbacz began his career at age eight.  At age 16 he began touring as John Deacon in a Kings of Queen tribute band.  He has performed in Oliver!, Gypsy, Billy Elliot, and Les Miserables.

I assume that he is gay because appeared in Trust in Love (2024), about a record producer who comes out to his wife and son

And because of the way he celebrates Valentine's Day: "Tag the one you love."

And because he played a Queen.  Not the gay one, but still....

And because of his....

.  

Lori's Edibles: Lori and Eli want to give the siblings "some space," so they move to her house. Wait -- I thought she was living in Pigeon Forge.  If she's been living in Charleston the whole time, why hasn't she visited the Gemstones for years?

Corey meets them at the door: he dropped by to bring dinner, "Kung Pao Dynasty." Also, he left her edibles by the microwave.   Eli doesn't know what edibles are, so Miss Lori explains. Apparently he's ok with drug use now; he wasn't in earlier seasons.

Corey shakes Eli's hand and says "Have fun, you two," but as he walks away, he grimaces.  He's been killing the ex-boyfriends.

Meanwhile, Kelvin in a flamboyant costume is being photographed with the conservatively-dressed nominees for Top Christian Man. And it's time for the Live TV Roundtable.  

The full cast list is not in the episode credits or the IMDB, but I think the conservative minister being hugged by Kelvin is Chad Darnell, who is gay in real life.  He works primarily in casting, but he has 21 screen credits, and a lot of theater work, including the gay-themed Love! Valour! Compassion!, Forced, and Hedwig and the Angry Inch.

Plus some gay-themed screenplays and two novels.

More after the break