Title: "That the Man of God May Be Complete."
1 Timothy 3:17, ESV: All Scripture is inspired by God, so "that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work." Sounds like the Golden Bible will play a role.
Left: Pontius spends nearly the entire episode hugging Gideon. It looks like Abraham squeezed between them. I can't tell which leg belongs to who.
The Duel: The Cape and Pistol Society. Vance Simkins bursts in, drinking, and everyone laughs at him. He points out that Kelvin has defeated him, but not Jesse, and throws down the yellow handkerchief, challenging him to a duel. Vance will have Pastor Brad as his second, and Jesse will get Eli.
They immediately adjourn to the front lawn. Jesse is nervous, since he's a terrible shot. Eli suggests that he back out, but nope: "He insulted Kelvin and built mini-malls in our territory." You know, duelling and challenging someone to a duel has been illegal in South Carolina since 1880.
Vance's shot goes way over the trees. Jesse aims at him, but he runs zigzag, and then he stops and begs for his life. Now Jesse deliberately aims away from him, but accidentally hits someone else.
He tells the group: "You don't need a secret society to be an impressive man. It's what you do that makes you impressive. So I quit." Thus ends Jesse's plot arc: he's going to stop being jealous of others' success.
The Proposal: Kelvin examines the newly-completed treehouse. "Great job, Keefey."
You've never once called him that, Bro. Keefe points out that a storm is brewing, and "the devil's piss causes you terror." Nope, not anymore. In fact, a lot of things don't scare him anymore: spiders in toilets, the old lady puppet from Mr. Rogers (well, she was scary).... and marriage.
Remember, in Episode 4.2, Keefe suggests getting married, and Kelvin completely tears down the idea. Now he proposes: "Keefe Chambers, will you marry me?", with a box with an engagement ring. They hug and kiss.
This is the end of Kelvin's plot arc: he is no longer paralyzed by fear. We still need a wedding -- hopefully.
BJ Greases His Pole: BJ is unscrewing his pole: "I thought I needed this to prove how manly I was, riding this long, sleek pole up, only to drop down, my thighs squeezing it."
Um...BJ, it's getting hot in here.
He tells Judy, "It's about to pop off. Put your hands in position, right at the base...squeeze it tight...we're going to jerk it off."
Dude, I might join you.Now that the pole has come,,off, they discuss the Monkey. BJ misses him, and wants him back.
Cut to Judy taking him to visit the Monkey. They end up reconciling. I fast forwarded past that part: boy-and-dog, or in this case boy-and-monkey stories make me uncomfortable.
Presumably this is the end of Judy's plot arc, but I'm not sure what it was.Lori and Eli: Visiting Eli, Lori notes that the kids like her again, now that they aren't dating. In other news, Corey is taking the crisis "real rough." He hardly leaves the house, and his wife Jana has moved in with her sister. Well, he killed Cobb to save Eli and Baby Billy. You might expect some trauma.
Lori found some mementos that Eli might enjoy: A flier from one of her shows, a letter that Aimee-Leigh wrote her soon after the divorce. Hey, the Gold Bible isn't there. They say goodbye and hug. Doesn't she live nearby? Can't they continue to be friends?
Later, Eli retrieves the letter from the box, but can't bring himself to open it.
Hunkoids on Crosses: Baby Billy goes back to work after his ordeal at the Gator Park Massacre. Everyone applauds. He notes that he is happy to be alive, and God gave him the physical prowess of a teen boy to help vanquish Cobb.
"Ok, back to work. Work, work, work." He doesn't seem happy as they set up the crucifixion scene. He recalls his argument with Tiffany: "Is that all that matters to you?", and flashes back to spending time with his family.
Left: Another hunkoid, maybe Edge (Alex Matoussian, c*ock after the break).
Baby Billy stops the filming and announces "I quit. Even though it may cost my nephews and niece millions of dollars. Shows over. Fuck tv."
This ends Baby Billy's plot arc: he has chosen family over fame.
Alex's dick.
Gideon: Look at that cock! Incredible!
Pontius: I've seen bigger
Eli's Dick Still Works: Eli is on the darkened stage where Lori sang at the telethon. He bows to an imaginary audience, sits morosely at the piano, and starts to play.
Suddenly the siblings appear for a heart-to-heart: They're impressed that he can still "do cums," so they're fine with him using his dick, with Miss Lori or whoever. They all hug.
When this scene appeared in the trailers, fans speculated that Eli was mourning the death of Baby Billy or Lori, or that he himself and all of the siblings were dead.
"By the way, has anyone heard from Corey?"
No, he doesn't answer their calls and texts. They decide to invite him up to the Lake House.
Pontius Pats: At Galilee Gulch, Corey stares morosely out into the lake, then goes inside, where the talent show is going on:
Lori and Judy sing "Little Angel, Big Heart," which she mentioned writing with Aimee-Leigh.
In the audience, Keefe is feeding Kelvin Hershey's Kisses. This will become important later.
Pontius has his arm around Gideon -- and leaves it there -- and keeps hugging and patting his shoulder. This is a parallel to the Kelvin-Keefe displays of affection. After Season 1 dropped strong hints that Gideon was gay, he never expressed an interest in men or women after. Pontius had a girlfriend in Season 3, but this season he is shown only with men, and the t-shirt he wears has only cocks on it.
They are in a masculine embrace, only the fact that they are brothers pushing away from identifying them as gay -- and only just barely.
It's Corey's turn to perform. He comes down in his Michael Jackson outfit -- the one Eli paid $22,000 for. He moonwalks, grabs his crotch, but doesn't sing a Michael Jackson song.
Maybe they couldn't get the rights.Uh-oh, Corey has a problem: the bank is going to foreclose on the Gator Farm, and he needs $7 million to buy it back. They're all shocked -- you don't just ask for money, you approach with a business plan and a powerpoint presentation -- but Corey says "I killed my Daddy to save Dr. Gemstone. He has millions of dollars, but he can't help me?"
Jana tries to spin it as a loan, not a handout. Corey tells her to shut up, and she finally grows a pair: "I'm tired of you talking to me like that!"
"Then get the fuck out!" Corey yells.
Jana wants a divorce. "This is over!"
The siblings push Corey into playing cornhole to calm him down. Eli pushes everyone else onto the boat.
More after the break
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