The top 18 cocks of the handsome/hung actors, from the Nip/Tuck fratboy to the Headless Ghost

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"It's Not Like That": Pastor starts dating his dead wife's best friend. No, he's not Eli Gemstone. With surprising queer codes and n*de dudes

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Baylen Bielitz: The kid version of the gay superhero Wiccan visits Oz and The Secret Garden, buddies with Jett Kyte, crushes on Spider-Man.

 

I've been researching the actors who played Billy and Tommy, sons of the Scarlet Witch Wanda Maximoff in Marvel comics and tv shows.   They grow up to be superheroes Wiccan (gay) and Speed (bi), so did the casting agents make sure that the actors playing them were gay/bi, too?  

Teenagers: Joe Locke and Ruaridh Mollica (below).  Both gay.

Tweens: Julian Hillard and Jett Kyte (left). Both probably gay.

Kids: Baylen Bielitz (right) and Gavin Borders. 

 

Left: Ruaridh in action. Don't worry, he's with a dude.

I doubt that the casting agents were specifically looking for gay actors to play the preteen Billy and Tommy. They might not even be aware that LGBT kids exist.  But they if they were looking for resemblance to the older actors, they might ping on a gay vibe, or ask if Mom and Dad would object to their kid playing gay.  We'll start with Baylen Bielitz, five-year old Billy (the future Wiccan) on Wandavision.

Baylen was born in Southington, about 20 miles from Hartford, Connecticut, in May 2014.  He expressed an interest in acting and dancing when he was five years old, so his parents entered him into a local acting competition.  He won and got an agent, who started sending out video audition tapes (this was during the pandemic).  

 On his sixth birthday in May 2020, Baylen posts "It's my b-day, dance with me," noting that he always was inspired by Derek Hough.

Actor/dancer/choreographer Derek Hough, is straight, but he has played gay characters and fought for LGBT representation on Dancing with the Stars. He performed in the first male-male duo on the show, in December 2024.

A few days later, Bay got word that he had been cast as Billy Maximoff.  Directly from kindergarten to the Marvel Cinematic Universe!  In the summer of 2020, he and his mom drove to Atlanta to film his scenes. 

I doubt that he knew the entire biography of Wiccan when he auditioned, but he does now.

Other on-screen roles came quickly.

2021:

He appears in The Gilmore Girls on stage and in several tv commercials.

Plus he gets to pose (or photoshop-pose) with Tom Holland's Spider-Man (n*de photo of Tom Holland after the break).

 2022:

He plays Younger Boy to Lucas Luchsinger's Older Boy in A Better Half (2022), a short about a man confronting his demons.

In an episode of Evil, about a team of Catholic exorcists, Bay and Robbie Crandall play brothers who are being bedeviled by a demon.  Or is it their mom, trying to push up the subscribers to her social media channel?  

The Noel Diary stars Justin Hartley as Jake Turner, a driven big city corporate type who returns to his small home town for Christmas and...well, it's the plot of every Christmas romcom ever.  Bay plays his younger brother in a flashback sequence.

More after the break. Caution: Explicit.

Deciphering the hyperbolic gush of "Seraphim," about black gay men having sex and dying. With awful grammar, purple rain, and nude dudes

 

 The trailer of Seraphim: The Motion Picture (2024 or 2026) shows two African-American men, named Angel and Druid, so you think there will be paranormal content.  We see them knocking on each other's door, kissing, hugging, dancing, having sex, displaying their butts, gazing into each other's eyes, singing while having sex, and singing while having a BDSM scene.  Then one is shot and killed by a snarling cop, and the other experiences grief.

So, gay life ends in tragedy.  A bit old-fashioned, marred by internalized homophobia, but totally comprehensible. But check out the plot synopsis: a labyrinth of obscure references and pretentious, hyperbolic, overpraising gush set amid the annoying overuse of all-caps and quotation marks. 

Let's go through it beat by beat. I'm fixing the ALLCAP and quotation mark mishegas. and the misuse of commas, for, everything.

" From the creators of the critically acclaimed, socially-conscious album Seraphim..."

Seraphim is a concert album with themes of racial injustice and homophobia, written, performed, and produced by Marck Angel.  I never heard of him, but according to his bio, he is an acclaimed actor, singer, dancer, songwriter, record producer, director, novelist, painter, architect, marine biologist, neurosurgeon, theologian, and Greek god, able to walk on water and leap tall buildings in a single bound. 

"...based on the award-winning short film Justice..."

There are many, many short films by that name: a girl seeks revenge for her sister's murder; a famous lawyer prepares for a case; a woman is accused of murder; the mind of a troubled young man in prison.

"...comes Seraphim: The Motion Picture , starring Pop/R&B sensation, Marck Angel ("Finding Me", "Christopher Street")..."

I figured that since Marck is the greatest everything in the world, his two songs would be going super-platinum and stay on the Billboard #1 list for 345 weeks, but I can't find them.

I found two songs named after Christopher Street, the heart of New York's gay village and the name of an influential gay magazine.  

The first is from Wonderful Town (1953), a musical about two sisters (variously played by Rosalind Russell, Carol Channing, Nancy Walker, and Brooke Shields), who move from Ohio to New York to pursue their dreams. One falls in love, and the other gets a newspaper reporter job.   There are gay subtexts throughout, including the irony of their tour of  Greenwich Village:

Here you see Christopher Street,
Typical spot in Greenwich Village.
Ain't it quaint?  Ain't it sweet? 
Pleasant and peaceful on Christopher Street

The second is called "Christopher Street," by Yarn (2014), a North Carolina based band that frequently plays at gay venues:

I hear the sound of the street shuffle all damn night
And I see the colors from the street lights
Oh and the queens they come walking this way
Lord I'm counting on better days

Sounds homophobic. 

More about Marck Angel.  The acclaimed actor has three other credits on the IMDB:

Cocktails (2014), about the owners of a gay club.

Finding Me (2013-15), a tv series about a gay black man trying to find himself.

Deckalogue: A Finding Me Story (2017).

Plus Fuckme, not listed on the IMDB, appears amid the 23 posters for Seraphim on Marck's Instagram.  Sorry, 28.  They just keep going.

"...web-series heartthrob Donta Hensley (Honest Men, Davenport Diaries)..."

Honest Men is a 17-episode tv series about "honest conversations" between men, their sons, and "the boy next door."  There's also strangling, screwing, and a guy squeezing his nipple while getting a blow job (left).

Davenport Diaries is a 16-episode tv series with no plot synopsis, but it looks like a soap opera.

"....and up and coming stage/film prodigy Donnie E. Thomas (Love and Therapy)."

Donnie E. Thomas has no other screen credits.  There is no Love and Therapy movie or tv show, but there's a Sex, Love, & Therapy movie from 2014, starring Patrick Breul (left) as a marriage counselor who promotes the benefits of falling in love before you fall into bed -- until he hires a sex-crazy female assistant.

Whew, we made it through the first sentence.  More after the break.