Off Campus: Hannah must choose between a hocky star with a nice butt and a bad boy with tats. Plus a gay bestie and fratboy cocks

Apparently the success of Heated Rivalry has started a trend. Producers thought, "Ok, viewers want to see more hockey players," not "viewers want to see more gay romance," so we're getting a lot of hockey player hetero romance.  I'm watching Off Campus (2026), on Amazon Prime, in spite of the annoying commercial breaks, in case there's a  gay character -- or some dicks.

Scene 1:Hockey Star Garrett (Belmont Cameli, left)  puts on his uniform, listens to "Dancing By Myself," and practices, while Hannah does janitorial work, listening to the same song.  

Finished, he takes off his shirt -- the tattoo says Nullum Gratuitum Prandium, "There ain't no such thing as a free lunch," which presumably will become important later.  He langorously showers.  Hannah, wearing headphones, can't hear the shower, and accidentally sees his backside -- and his front, when he turns around.  She hurriedly exits, grinnng.

Belmont states in an interview, "Obviously I'm being sexualized to some extent, but I never felt exploited." 

Scene 2:  90% of viewers tune in to see Cameli's butt (and hopefully cock), so they got it out of the way. Now we can get on to the plot.  At a hoity-toity university, the philosophy professor explains to the class that C means C, so 70% of the students got C+ or lower on their papers.  Hannah's gay bff Dexter (Miles Gutierrez-Riley, the boyfriend on Agatha All Along) complains that it's a jock class, so why should he bother?  Philosophy is a jock class?

Jock Beau (Khobe Maxwell, left, who played a gay guy in Cruel Intentions), looks at his grade and wonders if he can still drop the class.  His bro, Garrett from Scene 1, points out that they need it for their major, but not to worry, the coach will talk to the prof about "creative grading."  

When I was an undergrad, every student had to take a philosophy class.  I took "Modern Philosophy." assuming that it would be, like, modern.  Nope, it was about Kant, Hume, and Berkeley (pronounced Barkeley; that's the only thing I remember from the class).

BFF Dexter gawks at them: "Jocks -- so pretty, so entitled."

"Aren't you above stereotypes?"

"Girl, I'm beneath stereotypes."  He takes another look at  Beau.  "Maybe behind."  This will become important for shipping later.

Hannah got an A, but tells BFF Dexter that her grade was "not good."  Hockey Star Garrett looks over her shoulder and exclaims "You aced it!"  This angers Hannah, for some reason.  You forgot to complain that "He's arrogant!"

Scene 3: On the way out, BFF Dexter points out bad-boy music major Justin Kohl (Josh Heuston), Hannah's crush  Their third friend joins them and asked if Hannah has made a move yet.  "He doesn't know who I am.  Am I supposed to fling myself at him?"  "Yes!!!"

Hockey Star Garrett joins them.  After they criticize him for being rich and goodlooking, he tells Hannah that he's failing the class, and wants her help on the next assignment, n oral presentation.  "Nope." Why not?  Just because he's arrogant?  

"But you owe me for the sneak peek.  Tons of girls would have paid for that view."  What about guys, heteronormative jerk?

Scene 4: Hannah leaves them to bike across the campus of Briar University (actually the University of British Columbia).  She stops at Kaufman Center, where Professor Daveed (Brandon Scott, left), is conducting the student orchestra.  He glares at her for being late.

After class tells her that her scholarship for the year has been cut.  Not because she was late, because the government thinks that the fine arts are useless.

"But this is the third week of the semester!  My only hope of staying in school is to get another scholarship!" 

There aren't any other classical music composition scholarships, but what if she changes her major to performance?  Nope, she's a lousy clarinet player.  

So what about pop music composition?  Lots of scholarships there, given out at the Pop Music Showcase

"I can write pop music.  How hard can it be?"  Famous last words.

Scene 5: The frat house.  The guys, Tucker, Dean, and Logan (Jalen Thomas Brooks, Stephen Kalyn, left, Antonio Cipriano) are bickering as they prepare for the party tonight.  There are shirtless shots and discussions of cooking.  

Hockey Star Garrett comes in later, when the party is already going on.  Tucker is cooking "dippables."  Dean is kissing a girl.  Other party guests are playing video games and...chess?  I thought frat parties were all beer pong and nonconsensual bedroom stuff.  

They criticize Hockey Star Garrett's taste in music -- it's old-fashioned, from the 1990s. So he's a pop music fan.  Maybe he and Hannah can help each other.

Meanwhile, at Malone's, Bad Boy Justin and his band are performing, while Hannah, working the bar, appears to be having an orgasm while watching.  Her friend asks what she's going to compose for the Pop Showcase: "Taylor Swift or Lady Gaga?"

"I'm more Taylor."

"So be Taylor, and go talk to your crush, Bad Boy Justin."  

He's singing "A little less talking, a little more 'touch my body," which is basically what Olivia Newton John sang in "Physical," and Julie Andrews in My Fair Lady.

Never do I ever want to hear another word
There isn't one I haven't heard
Here we are together in what ought to be a dream
Say one more word and I'll scream

"Nope, I'm too scared." 

"Ok, then.  Everybody is going to the Block Party tomorrow.  You can talk to him then."  They have block parties at universities?

More after the break

Eldon Jones: Dancing Atreyu, drawing penguins, learning to snap, bringing gay promise. With nude co-stars and Patrick Swayze's bum

Eldon Jones as Cody,  grandson of focus character Sam Cooper (Alfred Molina,  right) , was the one bright spot in the overwhelming heterosexism of  the Netflix paranormal series The Boroughs.  While enduring the endless "My wife! My wife! My wife", it was a relief to check out the photos his mom posted of Eldon in feminine outfits, hanging with his gay brother, and attending Pride events.  Maybe the kid is gay in real life, maybe not, but he provides a reminder that LGBT people exist, no matter how aggressively they are erased.

Eldon was born in 2011, son of Neal Jones, best known for Dirty Dancing (1987): he plays the "kind-hearted" Billy, who gets his cousin Johnny (Patrick Swayze, left) a job at the Borscht Belt resort, and introduces him to "dirty dancing."   

The family lives in Albuquerque.  Older brother Jax (middle) graduated from the University of New Mexico with a degree in fine arts in May 2026.  Mom often posts photos of him and his boyfriend.  

Eldon is in the front, and sister Marian, also an actor, is in the back of the sibling pile. 

Eldon is remarkably accomplished.

A member of the permanent company of the National Dance Institute of New Mexico.

Studies piano at the New Mexico School of Music.

An artist, interested in penguin comics and watercolors.

A chef, baking bread and making soup for the family.

A fashionista.  He attended the Copenhagen Fashion Week in 2023.

Literary.  When they visited London, he checked out the bookstores (that's the first thing I look for, too).  He was reading Herman Hesse at age 12.

I've read some Hesse (Siddhartha and Steppenwolf), but I never even heard of the book he's reading: Knulp, about a "carefree vagabond who lives outside societal rules." 

And of course Eldon is an actor.

He started as a background player in three 2022 episodes of Walker: Independence, about a woman in the Old West searching for the guy who murdered her husband. Apparently there's a gay character.

Left: I couldn't find the gay guy in the cast list, but I found Jeff Pierre, who played Cameron Monaghan's boyfriend on Shameless.

More after the break

Brock Cock, Part 1: From the God Squad to the Immortal Kane, with bonus Daryl McCormack and James Duval

 

Everybody needs a little Brock O'Hurn now and then.  At least his 1.7 million instagram followers think so.  Brock has played any number of muscle-hunks, including Hulk Hogan, Thor, Tarzan, a "swole Mel Brooks," and guys named Horse and Ragnar Stormbringer.  

He may be most famous as  Torsten, the "gentle giant" of the God Squad, a homoerotic muscle commune, in Season 2 of The Righteous Gemstones.  Presumably Adam Devine isn't in character here, or he'd be much more interested in the muscles pressing against him.

Here Brock is a shirtless cowboy in the video Wild West Showdown.  

Brock is a co-creator and model for Kane Comic Universe about an immortal muscleman who travels through time, fighting demons, evil gods, madmen, and so on. Warning: Issue #2 features women's boobs rather than Brock pecs.

I promised Brock cock, but actually, he has only one nude scene on tv, in Euphoria, which I post in Brock Cock Part 2.   I just like saying "Brock cock."

But to fill my cock quota, here's Irish actor Daryl McCormack.

More Brock and cock after the break

The Top 12 Hunks of "Batwoman." With a guest appearance by Robin the Boy Wonder and his super-bulge

 

We're watching Batwoman (2019-22), because it's about superheroes, so why wouldn't we? 

All of the residents of Gotham City are dour and depressed, but Kate Kane (Ruby Rose) achieves new heights of angst when she discovers that Cousin Bruce was Batman, takes over his Batcave, and starts fighting costumed baddies.

1. Years ago, Kate was expelled from miitary school for doing gay stuff.   Her girlfriend claimed to be straight and got to stay, and is now in a lavender marriage to a guy who doesn't appear in the cast list; Google AI names him as Tyler, played by Greyston Holt. 

 

Left: Greyston's backside.  

Kate and Ex-Girlfriend exchange longing looks, but the betrayal is too great to overcome.

2.  Now Ex-Girlfriend works for the Crows, the private security force that Gotham City uses instead of police, which is coincidentally run by Kate's Dad, Jacob Kane (Dougray Scott).

Years ago, he lost his wife and daughter, Kate's twin sister, when their car plunged off a bridge. He searched for his daughter's body for years, until his new wife faked a DNA sample and convinced him that deer bones belonged to her.  

Left: Dougray's backside

3. Jacob's new wife also happens to be the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company that invents new and better weapons to sell to whatever evil empire wants them.  Her pride and joy is a gun with a "coil accelerator," the only thing that can pierce Batman's body suit and kill him (see, they both hate Batman, and now Batwoman).  Inventor Dean Devereaux (Matthew Graham) is the only person on Earth who knows how it works.

4.-5. So, what happened to Kate's twin sister after her car plunged into that river?  She was grabbed by August Cartwright (John Emmet Tracy), a plastic surgeon experimenting with human-skin face masks for his visually-different son Mouse (Sam Littlefield, left).   He says that he wants Twin Sister to "join the family," but instead he keeps her locked in a basement room for 12 years, with no food and nothing to read but Alice in Wonderland.  

More after the break.  Caution: Explicit.