Joseph Gordon-Levitt: The 3rd Rock kid plays gay teenagers, then descends into ceaseless heteronormativity. With his butt, bulge, and potential dick

 

Raise your hand if you still think of Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Tommy Solomon on 3rd Rock from the Sun (1996-2001).  A team of aliens is sent to Earth, disguised as a "typical human family," but their superiors get the ages and genders mixed up.  The male security officer becomes a woman, Sally (played by Kristen Johnsten, who would go on to play Eli's estranged sister on The Righteous Gemstones).  The middle aged information officer becomes prepubescent Tommy.  Poor guy has to go through puberty twice.

There were no regular gay characters, and only two references, in "mistaken for gay" episodes, but Sally, as a male being presenting as a woman, has a queer aura in spite of her heterosexual interests.  Plus John Lithgow, a vocal ally who has played gay and trans characters, imbued team leader Dick Solomon with a number of queer coded, explained as his umfamiliarity with human customs.

Joseph was a busy child star long before 3rd Rock, with guest spots on Murder She Wrote, LA Law, Quantum Leap, Family Ties, and Roseanne, and starring roles in the 1991 Dark Shadows reboot (as David Collins, heir to the vampire-ridden dynasty) and the 1992 Powers that Be (as the grandson of the unhinged Senator Powers).

I've already reviewed The Great Elephant Escape (1995), a buddy-bonding adventure set in East Africa.

Duriing and after 3rd Rock, Joseph appeared in several projects of gay interest:

On a 1998 episode of That 70s Show, about a group of high school friends in 1970s Milwaukee, focus character Eric befriends his chemistry lab partner, Buddy (Joseph), who thinks they are dating and kisses him.  Eric struggles with the realization, but in the end decides to stay friends with Buddy anyway.  Buddy was supposed to be an ongoing character, but homophobic fans objected, so he was dropped.

Some historians call it the first male same-sex kiss on tv, but it doesn't really count, since Eric didn't consent.  The first kiss where both men consent aired in 2004.

Latter Days (2003) features a romance between  closeted Mormon missionary Aaron (Steve Sandvoss, middle) and out-and-proud, heavily partying Christian (Wes Ramsey, left).  They end up leaving the church and tthe party subculture, respectively. 

Left: Wes Ramsey's butt

 Joseph auditioned to  play Aaron, but the directs thought that his aggressive manner was better suited to the homophobic missionary Paul.  

Mysterious Skin (2004) features two boys, Neill and Brian (Joseph, Brady Corbet), who are abused by their Little League coach.  When they grow up, Neil becomes a hustler (gay, but with a girlfriend), while Brian is experiencing "missing time" and believes that he was abducted by aliens.  

Left: The butt of Joseph as an adult.

I didn't watch because I heard that it was homophobic, presenting the idea that the abuse "turned" the boys gay.

Then the gay content abruptly  ends.  His character even uses a homophobic slur in Don Jon (2013).  He explains, "that character would say that." So it's realistic to offend your gay fans?

In the same interview, he's asked about his gay fans, and replies: "I can't say it's something I really think about."  Jerk!

Left: the jerk's butt.

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Sweet Magnolias: Southern ladies stick together, with hunky husbands, a gay couple, Aidan Merwarth, and drama club cocks

 

Aidan Merwarth played Spencer, who had a disastrous first date with Finn (Faly Rakotahavana), in a 2024 episode of Unprisoned.  I've been following him since, looking for more gay or gay-light roles, and I just discovered that he has an ongoing character arc in Season 5 of Sweet Magnolias.  Shows set in the South don't usually have gay characters, but this season the high schoolers are staging a play, The Taming of the Shrew.  Where there's a drama club, there are gay teens.  Let's hope that Aidan is one of them.

I'm reviewing Episode 5.6, "Smoke and Mirrors," figuring that by this point they will be having dress rehearsals.

For reference, you should know that the Sweet Magnolias are three friends who support each other like the Steel Magnolias that they are named after.  From left to right, Dana Sue, who owns the restaurant Sullivan's, Maddie, a writer; and Helen, a lawyer.  They co-own a spa/gym. 

Scene 1: Night.  Everyone is crying and bringing toys and teddy bears out of a smoldering building.  Dana Sue and her husband learn that the fire started in the garage due to the "usual suspects": faulty wiring, greasy rags, and so on.  They divvy up who is going to stay with who.  Hey, there are no kids in the house, just Dana Sue, her husband, and their teenage daughter.  Surely regular viewers would know that, and be immune to the tearjerking of throwing out dinhrf teddy bears.

There are different plot arcs involving each character, all interspliced, but I'll cover them separately.

Dana Sue's Story

Dana Sue and her husband (Brandon Quinn, bulge left) are staying with Maddie the Writer and her husband.  They drink tea and cry.  Later, unable to sleep, they discuss the fire, and how "we can possibly get through this."  Don't y'all have insurance?

Husband feels guilty because the fire is his fault; as the man, he should have been taking care of whatever household item caused the fire.  Right, God forbid dainty little ladies know anything about home improvement projects.

In the morning, Dana Sue inspects the fire-damaged house.  Her Husband gets angry at her for just throwing things into boxes;  they have to check what can be salvaged and what can't be.  "I'm choosing what's important to me!" she exclaims.  "Like this old, singed cooking pot that belonged to my mother!"  Or you could look for photos.

He stomps off.

Cut to Dana Sue and her friends going to Flawed But Still Worthy, where they have an appointment with Wally himself.  To buy used clothes?  Wally (Geoffrey D. Williams), a flamboyant middle-aged black man in a pink suit, is a fan favorite for his "powerful and uplifting scenes."  He has chosen some outfits to give Dana Sue "a little joy to get through the hard times.  It's what makes the darkness bearable."  And, by the way, they are on the house.

Cut to Dana Sue going through her new stuff, and complaining that her hair still smells like smoke.  Then she goes to her restaurant and makes quesadillas for her friends. I'm fast forwarding through the "friends stick together" tearjerking. 

In the morning, Dana Sue and her Husband are discussing things, when Fireman Leif shows up (Ben VanderMey, left).   The Fire Department has donated some food for the 4th of July Barbecue.

Isaac's Story

The morning after the fire, Isaac (Chris Medlin, left) gets a vistor, Michael (Kyle Findley), who tries to hug him and is rejected.  He came a day early so he can help the people displaced by the fire.  Hey, they start kissing.  They're boyfriends!  I guess Isaac rejected the hug because they were still standing in the doorway, and neighbors might see them.

They head to the bedroom.

That night, there's a knock on the door.  It's a blond woman, maybe Noreen, and her young child, with teddy bear.  She's surprised to see Boyfriend Michael. He explains that he arrived early, but don't worry, they can babysit together. 

Noreen watches until Boyfriend Michael leaves with the girl, and then asks for the dirt.  Isaac is hiding it, but extremely upset that Boyfriend came early: "I work so hard to be methodical and organized, and this is how he repays me?  By being impulse and unpredictable?"  The scoundrel!  Dump him for not following the schedule!    

Plus he's trying to prepare a surprise anniversary dinner, and how can it be a surprise with Boyfriend Michael by his side every second?  I thought he was out helping the displaced family.

"No problem.  I'll help you."  Don't you have somewhere to be, which is why you needed a babysitter?

The next day, Isaac invites Michael to the coffee shop to explain where they source their beans and how he creates the staff schedules.  If I wanted to hear about that, I'd get a job.  Let's get back to the kissing. He gives him a drink called The Michael: Cold-brew, tonic, and cherry juice.  Yuck. 

That night, Isaac and Noreen set up for the surprise anniversary dinner on the high school stage, having transformed it into an Italian restaurant. Boyfriend Michael arrived; as they get their antipasto, Isaac tells him that he needs to share how he feels: "I love you."  Thety dance.  That's it?  I thought you were going to propose.

More after the break

Gage Beule: South Dakota wrestler poses in singlets a lot, posts nothing else. But they are really nice singlets, plus nude guys named Gage.

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Mr. Bigstuff: Short guy with big stuff isn't into ladies, has a gay boss and a psycho brother. With six big reveals and a lot of butts

 

I don't have a lot of  luck with Britcoms.  The references have me scurrying to the internet, the jokes a little too droll, and I can never tell if the actions are meant to be sitcom exaggerations or over-the-top bizarre.  But I'm checking out Mr. Bigstuff, which just dropped on Hulu, because it stars Ryan Sampson, gay in real life and 5'4". 

"Bigstuff" is one of those culturally specific references.  There's no definition online. Does it mean that the guy is important, a "big shot," or that he's a "big dog," gifted beneath the belt?

Episode 1, Scene 1: Glen (Ryan Sampson) and his girlfriend parking in the car outside a horribly decrepit office building.  She consoles him for being unable to perform.  It's been a long time.  Maybe he's not into you, lady.  Or not into ladies at all.  But they're still getting married in 100 days.  

Scene 2:  Glen at his horrible, soul-destroying job as a carpet salesman.  He's pointing out some boring heterosexual stuff to a boy-girl couple, when the Manager comes by.  He asks for a promotion.  In response, the Manager pretends to shoot him.  He falls to the ground, "dead."  I guess that's a no?  

Left: The Manager is played by Adrian Scarborough, who I thought was in The Thursday Murder Club.  He's not, and I deleted my review due to low pageviews.

Meanwhile, a hand smokes cigarettes and drinks beer.  Eventually it turns into a burly bloke, who bursts into the carpet store and asks the receptionist if she's seen "this geezer," displaying a photo of a schoolboy. In the U.S. a "geezer" is old. She calls the Manager.  The situation escalates to Burly Guy choking him and demanding to know where the "geezer" is.

Glen hides behind some display cases, then runs out and drives home.  

Left: Burly Guy is played by Danny Dyer, who is straight but played a gay character in Borstal Boy (2000) and the father of a gay teen on East Enders.

Scene 3: At home, the Girlfriend from Scene 1 is lying in bed.  She explains that there was a gas leak at work, so everyone had to leave, and he explains that he just popped in to get his sandwiches.  I expect that there's a man hiding in the closet. Nope: "Get in here, you c*nt."  In the U.S., that term is extremely offensive, and it refers only to ladies, but I think here it's just a mild expletive, like "dope." 

Left: Glenn's butt, from Plebes.

They discuss boring heterosexual stuff as Glen undresses (no beefcake).  She tries to get him to do sexy stuff, but he refuses.  You're in bed with your lady at 10:00 on a workday.  Why would you not, unless you're not into ladies?

Next Glen drinks something from a water glass by the bedside, then starts to gag.  Girlfriend apologizes -- she didn't expect him to drink it (then why was it on his side of the bed?).  They're both very upset.  

We never learn what it was. Maybe Metamucil, or a lady supplement?

She rushes downstairs to fetch him some tea -- and finds the Burly Guy sitting on the couch!

Scene 4:  Glen throws the disgusting liquid at him, and Girlfriend runs for the pepper spray.  "You can't be here!  Get out of my house!"

"I just want to talk, Glen!" he exclaims.  

Girlfriend; "You know each other?"  Big Reveal #1

"No.  Not really...I mean, I used to."  This upsets Burly Guy, and he leaves.

Left: Burly Guy's butt, from Plebes.

Scene 5: Back at work, everyone is gossiping about what happened earlier "with that geezer and the Manager."  Is that a common phrase in Britain for someone under age 80?   A woman is upset that she wasn't around to see him "get shanked."  In the U.S., "shanked" means being stabbed.  

The Manager calls Glen, crying: "You need to get here immediately! I'm sorry -- I didn't know!  I can't do this!"  Burly Guy comes onto the phone and tells him: "Dagenham, by the water, where he died.  You know the spot."  Darn, I thought they were old boyfriends.

More after the break