"The Other Two," Episode 1.6: Cary goes shirtless, Chase twerks, and there's enough bulges and butts for everyone

The Other Two are the struggling, closeted actor Cary  (Drew Tarver, left) and his sister, failed dancer Brooke.  When their little brother Chase (Case Walker) suddenly becomes the pop sensation ChaseDreams, the Other Two are torn between jealousy, pride, and over-protectiveness: "You can't perform at the White House unless your math grades improve."

I prefer the first season, when the family dynamics take precedence, and we can see some genuine affection between the siblings and their teen idol brother.  In later seasons, delayed due to COVID, Chase is grown up and wacky, and eventually doesn't appear at all, as episodes concentrate on the stardom of the siblings and their Mom, Pat. 

I'm reviewing Episode 1.6, because of guest star Patrick Wilson, Prince Orm in the Aquaman series. There are two plotlines, featuring Cary/Mom and Brooke/Chase, so I'll review each separately.

Cary/Mom's Plot: Chase recently outed Cary with the music video "My Brother's Gay, and That's OK."  This led to an offer to play the Shirtless Bartender on the real-life talk show Watch What Happens Live, hosted by Andy Cohen (playing himself)  

He complains that he doesn't have any lines; they just hired him for his looks.  "Big deal, you'll be seen, and you can meet the guest stars."  Who are they, anyway?  He looks it up: Patrick Wilson...and Mom Pat!  She'll be talking about her children's book based on Chase's rise to fame.  Uh-oh, being shirtless in front of his Mom!  

Plus he was cast without anyone asking him to take his shirt off.  What if he doesn't have the pecs for the job? 

The only gay guy on Earth who never works out, Cary drops into a gym and asks to "get jacked fast" for his Shirtless Bartender gig.   Um..it's going to take at least a year, buddy.  Turns out that the Receptionist (David Arquilla) has been the Shirtless Bartender, too; he's not an actor, but he has pecs.  Uh-oh.

We cut to Cary using the equipment wrong and getting sneered at by muscle studs. The staff will be happy to demonstrate. He wants to give up after one minute, but he can't leave and have the Receptionist see him, so he hides out in the locker room and runs into Lance  (Josh Segarra), his sister's on-off boyfriend.

Lance encourages Cary to pose, and gives him a self-actualization talk: "You are a sexy and beautiful man, thin but tight." 

We cut to filming Watch What Happens. Andy Cohen introduces Patrick Wilson as the star of Candy Land, and Pat Dubek, as mother of ChaseDreams -- "I'm obsessed with your son," he admits.  In a non-erotic way: unlike most teen idols, Chase has fans in every age group.  Nearly everyone the siblings meet gushes over him.

Next Andy introduces Pat's other son, the Shirtless Bartender, and asks: "What do you have for us tonight?"

Uh-oh, Cary didn't know that he would have to perform.  He doesn't have anything ready except an angsty monologue from Rosencranz and Guildenstern are Dead: "We are born with an intuition of mortality..."  Ulp, Andy meant what cocktail is he preparing.

As the interviews continue, Cary knows that he's supposed to just look hot and laugh at the guests' jokes, but he can't help interrupting with bits of his own.  Patrick takes pity on him and asks if he has any projects he would like to promote -- but he doesn't.  

Later they bond while waiting for the elevator.  Well, Cary thinks that they bond; Patrick is just trying to get rid of him.

My grade: I didn't feel the stakes, and Patrick suddenly withdrawing support seemed a little forced, but I liked seeing Cary shirtless for the entire scene. B+

Brooke/Chase's Plot:  Preparing to film a new music video for his song "Stink," Chase is doing push-ups while his Trainer (Brock Yurich, left) encourages him: "Push it, baby!  You are a god!"  Spoiler alert: in the next episode, the Trainer and Brooke are dating, but he is just interested because she can get him close to Chase. In a non-erotic way.

They're ready on the set, so Brooke, working as Chase's assistant, comes to fetch him.  Nope, Sleazy Manager (Wanda Sykes) says that he needs to do more push-ups to "get his pecs to pop."

"Can a 13-year old's pecs pop?" Brooke wonders.

Sleazy Manager continues: "We already did gay, so now Chase has to be a fuckboy."

"Um...isn't he a little young to be a fuckboy?"

The fuckboy and some dicks and butts after the break

"My Life with the Walter Boys": Five brothers, three hunks, and an instant replay of the Kelvin/Keefe "are they really gay?" mishegas

  

I dislike tv series about how small towns are so much better than big cities, with good old fashioned down-home values -- which means gender-polarization,  mom baking pies and dad watching football, plus heterosexism, every boy gazing wistfully at a girl.  

But My Life with the Walter Boys, on Netflix, is about a big-city girl who moves to a ranch in Colorado, for some reason, where the family has five boys!  Including Cole, played by 25 yer old Noah LaLonde (top photo)!  I'm going to review Episode 3, which has the Homecoming Huddle -- a dance, i guess -- to check for gay characters.

Scene 1: In the rustic barn, Sensitive Alex (22-year old Ashby Gentry) is telling focus character Jackie the colorful history of the family's cider wagon and explaining how important home coming is.

Cut to Brooding Cole, practicing football with his little sister,  who is playing her first junior football game.  He'll be in the stands cheering her on. At least no one is uptight about breaking gender stereotypes.  As he bends over, he winces -- uh-uh, injury.

Scene 2: Two boys at the kitchen table, while Dad (Marc Blucas, left) talks to someone about the pests eating their crops.  Hopefully the new pesticide will kill the lot.  Mom comes in -- wait I thought it was a single dad -- and drinks coffee while discussing farm stuff.

Scene 3: At school, Jackie's friend thanks her for not telling Brooding Cole's girlfriend that they're cheating on her (Horndog Cole apparently cheats on everybody with everybody).   

On to a meeting of the fundraising committee for the auditorium renovation. They expect kids to take care of that? Jackie suggests a silent auction. Mean Girl, who hates Jackie because you have to have an antagonist, thinks the idea is ridiculous, but everyone else loves it.  Snarl, snarl. 

More butts after the break

Rob Lowe: Nude photos of James Dumont's classmate, the Brat Pack prettyboy and bad guy with a dick.

Rob Lowe got his start as an androgynous prettyboy in Brat Pack classics like The Outsiders (1983), The Hotel New  Hampshire  (1984), and St. Elmo's Fire (1985).   

He played a teenage operator who buddy-bonds with the naive Andrew McCarthy in Class (1983).

He did the "Yank skewers the pretentions of stuffy Brits" thing in Oxford Blues (1984).

In Youngblood (1986), he gave us not only a butt shot, but a revealing near-frontal.  

Millions of heterosexual girls and gay boys had his posters on their bedroom walls. Corey Haim's Sam had one in The Lost Boys (1987), leading to widespread speculation that Sam was gay.

.We all figured that Rob was gay.  Why else would he infuse his movies with  so much buddy-bonding amid the 1980s homophobic slurs?  Why else would half the guys in West Hollywood, including my friend Mario, claim to have dated him?  

Why else would he show his butt so often?  

Then something happened that changed Rob Lowe's life and career forever.  During the Democratic National Convention in 1988, Rob and his friend Justin Morrow filmed themselves having sex with two women. It was blurry and grainy, but you could see Rob fully aroused.  (Photos after the break) 

The scandal marked him as  dangerous, deviant, and overtly sexual.  You knew things about him that you didn't about any other celebrity.

Hollywood insiders figured that his career was over, but Rob managed to capitalize on his new aura of danger in Bad Influence (1990),  luring a yuppie (James Spader) onto the Dark Side while showing us his butt again.  And in 

The Dark Backward (1991), a dark comedy about a pair of garbage collectors who want to become standup comics.  

He starred in a BBC adaption of Tennessee Williams' Suddenly Last Summer, about a decadent gay guy whose "perversion" leads to a gruesome and ridiculous death.

By 1994, Rob had bounced back enough to play Nick Andros, one of the "good guy" survivors of a plague that destroys the world, in an adaption of Stephen King's The Stand  (1994).  He appeared in  comedies like Wayne's World and Austin Powers, murder mysteries (often as the murderer), and tragedies. But he kept his infamous penis under wraps, except for a nude scene in I Melt with You (2011).

Today Rob is a fixture on television, for audiences who never heard of his sex tape, or don't care.  He has starred in The Grinder, Code Black, Wild Bill, and 911 Lone Star.  No gay characters, but we still can see an occasional butt.

Ready for the sex tape dicks?  Warning: they are explicit

James Dumont's teen idol career, with Tim Matheson, Rob Lowe, and Andrew McCarthy

If you know James Dumont mostly as the middle aged bear Chad on The Righteous Gemstones, you may be surprised to find that he began his acting career in 1980, at the age of fifteen.  

He got his first headshot courtesy of his uncle that year, and used it to get an uncredited role as "Kid Dancing in the Street" in The Blues Brothers.

Here's another 1980 shot. Definite Tiger Beat fave rave vibe.  He might have been another Shaun Cassidy (top photo: Shaun for comparison).

In 1982, James got some more head and body shots for his acting/modeling career.  I'm thinking the rural craze, someone who belongs on The Waltons or Little House on the Prairie.  

Instead he got two more uncredited roles: In Listen to Your Heart (1983), a romcom starring Tim Matheson and Kate Jackson.

Tim's butt after the break

Willie Aames: Nude photos of the "Charles in Charge" buddy, the "Paradise" hunk, and Bibleman

 

Teen idol Willie Aames had an amazing physique, back in the day, and a rather impressive bulge.

Other than Charles in Charge (1984-90), he is best known for Paradise (1982), a knockoff of Blue Lagoon, with none of the scintillating dialogue or intriguing plot (ok, I'm joking.  Blue Lagoon didn't have those things, either.)

But you did get to see Willie's willie.

I'm not usually into butts, but he has some nice pulchritude, and the penis isn't bad.

An underwater closeup shows his penis with some shrinkage.

More Willie butt.

Shortly after Paradise, Willie found God and devoted himself to Christian projects, so there were no more nude scenes.  But sometimes the little guy popped out.

Gemstone connection: one of my Facebook friends of friends claimed that Bible Man was played by Keefe (Tony Cavalero).

But I'm pretty sure it was Willie Aames

See also: The Other Two, Episode 1.6: Cary goes shirtless, Chase twerks, and there's enough bulges and butts for everyone

Keefe's Capacious Cock

Nude Photos of Christopher Atkins

Christopher Atkins: Nude photos of my West Hollywood friend and 1980s gay icon (who never played a gay role)

 

I met Christopher Atkins a few times when I lived in California: my friend was starring with him in a Smokey and the Bandits rip-off.  

Recently we became facebook friends. Well, me and 3,800 other people.  But I'm one of the few who responds to his posts.

"Come on, Christopher, it's big, but not big enough to write your entire name and a heart on." (I didn't really say that.)

Christopher was one of the first actors to go full frontal on the big screen.  Several times.Here he shows off in his iconic but immensely heterosexist Blue Lagoon (1980).  At the time, he hated performing nude.

In A Night in Heaven (1983), he played a male stripper at a ladies-only club. 

In real life Christopher has been a gay ally since the start of his career.  While other actors were insisting that only women enjoyed looking at their physique, he was happily discussing his appeal to gay fans in magazines like The Advocate.

More after the break