Jacob Tremblay: Gay sea monster, gay-subtext Miracle, heterosexist Good Boy, Boyfriend. With Brady Noon and n*de dudes

 

You probably saw Luca (2021), the Disney/Pixar animated movie about the friendship between the closeted sea monster boy (Jacob Tremblay) and a human boy named Alberto (Jack Dylan Grazer). And you were probably upset when director Enrico Casarosa vehemently denied the possibility of a gay reading of the couple.  "They're kids!  They're much too young to be gay!"   

Got it, Enrico. All boys are born heterosexual, Gay is something that happens in adulthood, after you've tried heterosexual stuff and decided that it is not right for you. Gay is who you invite to your bed,, heterosexual is the Eternal Feminine that draws us to the City of God. 

Yeah, I was unhappy, too.  

But it wasn't the fault of the actors.  I heard that Jack Dylan Grazer and Jason Maybaum (general voices) are gay.  Let's see if Luca himself, Jacob Tremblay, is involve din any gay-friendly projects.

He has 43 acting credits on the IMDB, most long before Luca.  I've never heard of most of them, but there seem to be some interesting gay subtexts here and there:

Gord's Brother (2015): The human Gord and his monster brother (Jack Irvine, Raphael Alejandro) searach for the legendary City of Monsters.  Jacob plays the Young Gord.

Wonder (2017): "The incredibly inspiring and heartwarming story" of a boy with facial differences who goes to school.  How to come up with a title that gives you absolutely no clue to what the movie is about.  

There's a girl -- there's always a girl -- but he makes a male friend (Noah Jupe), too.  

Good Boys (2019): Three six-grade boys skip school to go on an "epic adventure" involving two of them (Jacob, Brady Noon, center, recent photo) trying to win the Girls of Their Dreams (of course).  The third (Keith L. Williams) is a bullying victim who doesn't try to win a girl.  Hey, in a raunchy "coming of age" comedy, I'll take any gay hints I can get.  

Will Forte plays one of the dads.

Left: As of this writing, Brady Noon is 19.  Maybe I'll profile him next.

More Jacob after the break

Aaron Carter: The golden boy of the fall of 2000 comes out as bi, shows his d*ck, has a hard life. Brother Nick: "Hurts to love you."

Aaron Carter, the younger brother of Nick Carter of The Backstreet Boys, burst into teen idol fame with his debut album (entitled Aaron Carter, naturally), released in 1997, when he was just nine years old. It sold a million copies.  A second album, Aaron's Party: Come and Get It (2000), sold two million copies and peaked at #4 on the U.S. charts.  

To those who were young in the fall of 2000, songs like "Bounce," "Aaron's Party," and a highly risque version of "I Want Candy" became symbols of a golden age of innocence,  became an icon of the fall of 2000, along with "Who Let the Dogs Out," "Kryptonite," and "Dance with Me."

 

The sizzling star appeared as himself on Sabrina the Teenage Witch (2001) and Lizzie McGuire (2001), and started high-profile romances with Hilary Duff (Lizzie) and Lindsey Lohan (The Parent Trap).

New albums were released in 2001 and 2002, but in the post-911, War on Terror world, that golden age seemed impossibly naive, and Aaron's star faded.  He continued to tour and release new songs, but none of them charted.  Focusing on his acting, he played:

Harry (one of the daughter's boyfriends) on two episodes of 7th Heaven (2004)

A classmate of the live action Fat Albert (left, with Shedrach Taylor III as Rudy).

A Hannah Montana-like incognito popstar in Popstar (2005).  Former popstars David Cassidy and Leif Garrett (right) appeared.

Marty in I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With (2006), with Jeff Garlin (soon to star in The Goldberg) as a man looking for someone to each cheese with.

Brian in College Fright Night (2014), about a vampire infestation at a college, with former teen stars Todd Bridges and Dustin Diamond in the cast.

Aaron's adult years were rough:

Monetary problems, with his parents squandering his income, sometimes forcefully.

His father firing a gun next to his ear, leaving him partially deaf.

Allegations of abuse from his sister Leslie and brother Nick, which led to a restraining order and an admission that on social media that he wanted to kill Nick's wife.

Frequent drug problems.

More after the break

Alexander Polinsky: Adam on "Charles in Charge" grows up, models props, goes Furthur. With Andrew Keegan, Julian Sands, and some d*cks

 I get a lot of page views with profiles of former child stars and teen idols who have gone on to a hunk adulthood, so naturally I was drawn to Charles in Charge (1984-1990), with Scott Baio as a college student working as a live-in nanny in...um...a household full of teenage girls far too old for a nanny.

There were boys around, too, but Jonathan Ward and Michael Pearlman from the 1984-85 version can't be found.  That leaves Alexander Polinsky, who appeared as Adam Powell in 104 episodes in the second version (1986-90).  

The show was focused on Charles, his buddy Buddy (Willie Aames), and the two teenage girls, so Adam didn't get a lot of centrics: he is harassed by a bully, gets a crush on a girl, takes a babysitting job.  I recall one episode where Adam has to explain that he doesn't like playing football.  He starts off with a list of the sports he does like, lest Charles get the idea that he is a sissy/ gay.

Left: Alex with fellow 1990s teen stars Stephen Dorff and Brian Austin Green

After Charles, the 14-year old had guest spots on Billy (about a Scottish comedian), The New Lassie (about a dog), and Joe's Life (about a stay-at home Dad), and starred in Pumpkin II: Blood Wings (1994): teenagers accidentally unleash an ancient demon, who kills them all except the Final Girl.

In Perfect Fit (2000), Dick (Alex) "turns to murder" to satisfy his girlfriend, a blue jean fetishist. 

Former Colt model and soap stud Nick Benedict appears as Thomas, one of the jeans donors.

Since the 2000s, Alex has been involved mostly in his prop modeling and voiceover animation: 

Control Freak in Teen Titans

Garrett in Alpha Teens on Machines

Chameleon Boy in Legion of Superheroes.

Jimmy Olsen in Batman: The Brave and the Bold

Unicorns 1 and 2 in Breadwinners

Several characters in Monster High: the Series

He returned to live action for the the anthology movie Locker 13 (2014).  In Segment 3, Alex plays a mental patient considers jumping off a building, until the fast-talking Jason Marsden tells him about a Suicide Club, where members bet on when and how people will off themselves.

Ricky Schroder appeared in another segment as a down-and-out boxer who finds sinister gloves that let him win every match -- for a price.

Roger Ebert.com tells us: "Rarely do I find a movie that is so appalling if not outright insulting to all of humanity (and particularly, in this case, womankind) that it gives me a stomach ache, but Locker 13 really put me off my Cobb Salad."

Still, Alex highlights his segment in his acting demo reel.

Alex has one writing/producer credit: Going Furthur (2016), 1966-67, Ken Kesey and his Merry Pranksters took a psychedelic bus called Furthur up and down the West Coast, offering Acid Tests to introduce the youth counterculture to LSD. 

50 years later, Ken's son Zane and new Merry Pranksters repeat the trip (without the LSD), visiting "music festivals, community events, tribal festivals, and national landmarks."

This one sounds interesting.

More after the break

Matthew Underwood: The "Zoey 101" It-Boy Logan plays himself again and again...and again, posts dick pics. With bonus Noah Beck

 

The internet was all agog over pictures of Matthew Underwood's penis.  I wasn't impressed.  First, the guy doens't even show his face.  Second, he rubs me the wrong way.  I can't quite remember how.

Oh, yeah.  It's that annoying smugness.  It's one thing to be heterosexual -- lots of guys are.  It's another to brag about it.  "I'm so entirely heterosexual, I'm the most heterosexual of all heterosexuals, I can heterosexualize anywhere, anytime.  Every girl wants to be with me, and every guy wants to be me."

It's not just his character: this photo came directly from Matt's Instagram, posted in 2025.

Born in "The Sunshsine State of Florida" in 1990, Matt began acting at the age of eight, and appeared on screen in some guest spots before hitting paydirt in Zoey 101 (2005-08).

Zoey (Jamie Lynn Spears) and her brother Dustin (Paul Butcher) are students at the prestigious Pacific Coast Academy, filmed on location in Malibu instead of on a sound stage.  Her coterie includes:

1. Logan (Matthew Underwood),  the fabulously wealthy son of a famous actor, an it-boy who is basking in the absurdly exaggerated longing of every girl who sees him.  Eventually he settles down with the nerd Quinn (see, looks aren't everything).

2. Chase (Sean Flynn, left), in love with Zoey but trapped in the "friend zone."  Eventually, she realizes that she is in love with him, but then she leaves him again.

2. Michael (Christopher Massey, right), mostly in charge of advising Chase to admit his feelings, although he eventually gets a girlfriend of his own.

Matt reveals that just after Zoey, when he was 19, he was sexually harassed and then assaulted by his agent. The trauma prompted him to move away from Los Angeles and retire from acting.

He returned in 2017 to direct and star in two tv pilots with Sean Flynn, playing themselves: The Magic Studio, about kids who find magic rings, and The Golden Stars, about missing award statues. 

And some shorts: Time Hoppers (2018), Matt and Sebastian Cabanas in silly costumes.

The Alien (2019): Matt (playing himself) and some girls meet a classic grey.

The Unicorn Sisters (2019): Matt helps some grieving girls write poetry. 

Kind of full of yourself, aren't you, Matt?

He appears with some girls in Remi (2021) and with the entire Zoey gang in the Jamie Spears music video Follow Me (2020).

Noah Beck plays an alternative Logan.  No, I don't think that the penis is real.

Matt returned to the Zoey universe in Zoey 102 (2023): A struggling 32 year old film producer, Zoey is asked to be maid of honor at Quinn and Logan's wedding.  It took them 14 years to get married?  She also resolves her feelings for Chase.  After 14 years, he's moved on, girlfriend.

Matt's social media is mostly generic, landscapes, weird jokes, boating, pictures taken with the Zoey gang. He is currently single, his last heterosexual relationship (that he told fans about) in 2015. 

Ready for the cock pics?  #1: Impressive size, but the physique is nondescript, and dude doesn't even show his face.

#2: Full arousal.  This must be from a different session, since he's wearing pants.

3. I censored a silly emoji.

Not bad, but I'd rather see Noah Beck's abs.

See also:  Shane Harper: the "Good Luck Charlie" and "God's Not Dead" guy shows his dick surprisingly often

Nathan Kress, Freddie from ICarly, grown up. Is he still homophobic? Is he still shy about showing his dick?

"Malibu Rescue": Ricardo Hurtado hits the beach for a retro 1980s nerd-jock battle, with bonus lifeguard photos

Rob Lowe: Brat Pack prettyboy, bad guy with a dick, cowboy cop, grieving biochemist

Rob Lowe got his start as an androgynous prettyboy in Brat Pack classics like The Outsiders (1983), The Hotel New  Hampshire  (1984), and St. Elmo's Fire (1985).   

He played a teenage operator who buddy-bonds with the naive Andrew McCarthy in Class (1983).

He did the "Yank skewers the pretentions of stuffy Brits" thing in Oxford Blues (1984).

In Youngblood (1986), he gave us not only a butt shot, but a revealing near-frontal.  

Millions of heterosexual girls and gay boys had his posters on their bedroom walls. Corey Haim's Sam had one in The Lost Boys (1987), leading to widespread speculation that Sam was gay.

.We all figured that Rob was gay.  Why else would he infuse his movies with  so much buddy-bonding amid the 1980s homophobic slurs?  Why else would half the guys in West Hollywood, including my friend Mario, claim to have dated him?  

Why else would he show his butt so often?  

Then something happened that changed Rob Lowe's life and career forever.  During the Democratic National Convention in 1988, Rob and his friend Justin Morrow filmed themselves having sex with two women. It was blurry and grainy, but you could see Rob fully aroused.  (Photos after the break) 

The scandal marked him as  dangerous, deviant, and overtly sexual.  You knew things about him that you didn't about any other celebrity.

Hollywood insiders figured that his career was over, but Rob managed to capitalize on his new aura of danger in Bad Influence (1990),  luring a yuppie (James Spader) onto the Dark Side while showing us his butt again.  And in 

The Dark Backward (1991), a dark comedy about a pair of garbage collectors who want to become standup comics.  

He starred in a BBC adaption of Tennessee Williams' Suddenly Last Summer, about a decadent gay guy whose "perversion" leads to a gruesome and ridiculous death.

By 1994, Rob had bounced back enough to play Nick Andros, one of the "good guy" survivors of a plague that destroys the world, in an adaption of Stephen King's The Stand  (1994).  

He appeared in  comedies like Wayne's World and Austin Powers, murder mysteries (often as the murderer), and tragedies. But he kept his infamous penis under wraps, except for a nude scene in I Melt with You (2011).

More after the break.  Caution: Explicit.

"Howl" for Ricky Schroder, with Ricky's d*ck

 

I saw the cutest guy of my generation destroyed by madness, ranting hysterical naked...

Who played a "poor little rich boy" on Silver Spoons (1982-87) on my dream Saturday night, immersed in the buddy-bonding of Bosom Buddies, Jennifer Slept Here, and Mama's Family.

Whose boyfriend, Alfonso Ribeiro, went on to display his muscles and bulge on Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Who became a teen idol without taking off his shirt, who made gay boys sigh just with his dreamy eyes and smile

Who graduated to play a young soldier (Too Young The Hero, 1988), a cowboy (Lonesome Dove, 1989), and the juvenile brother of Brad Pitt (Across the Tracks, 1990), all men who knew the manly love of comrades

 Who hooked up with Mark Patton the Scream Queen but then threw himself into the closet of wives and sons and locker room homophobia

Who buddy-bonded with Dermont Mulroney in There Goes My Baby (1994), before they were both shipped off to Vietnam, one to die and the other to open a surf shop and cry over his lost love

Who forgot the endless summers of our youth

Seeing, touching, and tasting c ocks and endless balls.

Who crashed into movies and tv shows that no one saw, harsh, gritty, repellant, "make America great again" vehicles.

Who played a detective on NYPD Blue (1998-2001), with a woman's body below his gyrating backside

A nurse named Flower on Scrubs (2002-3) , who was queer coded but in love with Elliot

More after the break

Glenn Scarpelli: the star of "One Day at a Time" and "Jennifer Slept Here" grows up, comes out, and gets a husband

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Max Casella after dating Doogie: Christian Bale's buddy, Tony Soprano's driver, Timon, Bottom, bi. With a small d*ck bonus.

 

In the early 1990s, if your parents belong to a certain socioeconomic class, you were required to watch ABC's ultra-conservative programming block on Wednesday nights: 

The Wonder Years, with Fred Savage as a boy winning the Girl of His Dreams in the 1960s.

Home Improvement, with Tim Allen grunting with tools.

Coach, with Craig T. Nelson as a...football coach.

And Doogie Howser, MD, with Neil Patrick Harris as a 16-year old who somehow managed to finish medical school, become a doctor, and get girls.

I wasn't of a certain age, I was not living with parents of a certain socioeconomic class, so on Wednesday nights I was watching Seinfeld.   Not Doogie Howser, because of its ridiculous premise and "Girls are the meaning of life!" ideology.  

 But I did notice Max Casella, who played Doogie's buddy: 22-26 years, "cute as a bug's ear," as the oldsters would say, and a member of the Short Guy Brigade at 5'7".

As everyone knows, Neil Patrick Harris came out a few years after Doogie, and for some inscrutable reason agreed to play "himself' in the homophobic Harold & Kumar movies and heterosexual horndog Barney on How I Met Your Mother (2005-14).  More recently, in Uncoupled (2022), he played a gay man dealing with the death of his partner and suddenly becoming single at midlife. 

But what has Max Casella been doing?

I'm researching the three standard questions: 

1. Any gay roles?

2. Gay in real life?

3. Any n*ude photos?  

1. Any gay roles?

In Newsies (1992), a Disney movie about the newsboys' strike of 1899, Max plays Racetrack Higgins, who may be gay or bisexual.  When focus character Jack (Christian Bale) says that they can't beat up the newsboys who refuse to join the strike, he "jokingly" suggests kissing them.

In Ed Wood (1994), the biopic of the director known for crossdressing, Glen or Glenda? and Plan 9 from Outer Space, Max plays Paul Marco, the gay actor who often starred in Wood's films.  His sexual identity is not mentioned here.

Later Max moved into animation, voicing characters on Pepper Anne, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Kim Possible; and video games such as Jak and Daxter (a humanoid elf and his previously-human otter-weasel buddy) and Grand Theft Auto: The Ballad of Gay Tony (he doesn't voice Gay Tony).

He appeared in 28 episodes of The Sopranos (2001-07) as Benny Fazio, who is partnered with Chris Moltisanti and sometimes works as Capo Tony's driver.  He's married with children.

Inside Llewelyn Davis (2013) depicts a day in the life of the folk singer (Oscar Davis) in the early 1960s Greenwich Village scene.  Max plays Club Manager Pappi Corsicato, who has sex with Llewelyn's girl.

Tulsa King (2024-): Sylvester Stallone plays a mob boss who tries to start a new cosa nostra among the Oklahoma cowboys.  Max plays Manny Truisi, formerly a soldier in the Invernizzi Family, who tried to assassinate Stallone's Dwight, then fled. and started a new life working on a horse ranch.  He's got a wife and kid.

More after the break.  

Gemstones Episode 4.6: Kelvin cruises teen idols, Jesse hangs dong, and Cobb gets his cobb bit off. With Ricky Martin and the Italian Stallion

 

Previous: Gemstone Episode 4.5, Continued: Kelvin crashes, the Monkey fumes, and Eli gets a wake-up call

Title: "Interlude IV."  The Interlude is usually Episode 5, but this season started with a stand-alone.  We're halfway through the action in the present day, with Kelvin's meltdown, Judy's jealousy over the monkey, and Eli and Lori dealing with violence.

The New Parking Lot: 2002.  Eli is standing before the County Zoning Board, discussing his plan to build a 10-acre parking lot at the Salvation Center, which would involve buying and demolishing neighboring houses.   He claims that they bring thousands of people to town, who spend money, so it's a "win-win" situation.  Aimee-Leigh points out that they're also bringing in jobs.  The townsfolk growl and complain.  So am I.  Zoning restrictions?  How boring can you get? 

Cute council member Terry Cook is eating a donut.  A background player notes that they did several takes, asking him to convey anger and eat an egg.  

The cast list is not yet up on the IMDB, and googling "Terry Cook" doesn't work, but he looks like Jamie McGuire, the creepy-grin creature on "From." 

 The council president yells: "You may be able to buy out desperate people, Dr. Gemstone, but that doesn't make it right!"   She notes that the county board usually rubber-stamps their crazy plans, but not this time: "The crowd of people behind you is voiceless, and someone has to be their voice!"  

The plan is rejected, and the couple leaves in defeat. Aimee-Leigh wonders why they're even doing this ministry stuff.

Eli: "For the lake house."  That is, for the money. Um...serving God?  Spreading the Gospel? Helping people?

They walk out into a huge demonstration.  Someone shoves pies in their faces.

Writers: This sequence has no connection to the plot.  In Season 3, the Y2K scandal caused Peter's meltdown and enmity toward the Gemstones, but Cobb's enmity has nothing to do with the new parking lot.

Corey Defends Daddy: At the lake house, Lori's husband Cobb (Michael Rooker) is trying to water-ski, but Eli drives too fast, and he capsizes. His manhood challenged, he splutters and swears. 

Meanwhile, on a raft-slide, Young Judy and Jesse laugh at him, which upsets Young Corey.

Young Kelvin defends him, pointing out that at least Cobb is trying, whereas Jesse spends all his time "being bad, having sex."  This has resulted in Amber getting pregnant.  The enraged Jesse tries to attack, but Corey stops him.

A New Album: While Lori and Aimee-Leigh watch their husband in the water, posturing to see who will become the Silverback, they advise the very pregnant Amber that she should go inside and take a nap.  She refuses, so they discuss how much they dislike their kids until Amber gets tired of it and leaves.

Then they discuss recording a new album; they haven't recorded together in years. 

Cut to the studio, where they are making up song lyrics while Judy listens.  Kelvin eavesdrops from outside the door. 

More after the break