Lance Kerwin: The Golden Boy of the 1970s offers gay promise for about five years, then vanishes to Hawaii and fundamentalism

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"The Cat and the Moon": An almost canonical gay couple and a gay-subtext romance on the Mean Streets of New York

The Cat and the Moon (2019) was advertised as a "coming of age" movie with Alex Wolff (left) playing an updated Holden Caulfield.  So I  went in expecting depression, drugs, suicide, heterosexual machinations, and rampant homophobia. I found lots of drugs, suicidal ideations, insanity, and heterosexual romance, but no homophobia, and so many gay subtexts that I couldn't keep track of who was in love with whom.  

New Guy (Alex Wolff) moves to New York City while his mom is in rehab, stays with his dad's old buddy (Mike Epps, who reputedly belongs to one of these cocks).  He gets involved in a lot stuff.  This review will only cover the gay subtext scenes.

Scene 1: New Guy's first day in school.  Boyfriend (Giulian Yao Gioello, left), hot for the new guy, befriends him and shows him around.

Scene 2: In algebra class, two stoner buds are playing a game involving fluttering their hands together. 

Scene 3:  New Guy is in the restroom, trying to get high with a bong made of a toilet paper roll, when the stoner buds come in, bickering like an old married couple and talking like "he got into my motherfuckin' grill, yo."  

One stands at the urinal; the other doesn't have to go, so he just stands nearby to get a peek at his bud's penis.

They introduce themselves as Seamus and Russell (Skyler Gisondo, Tommy Nelson).  I'll call them Gay Guy and Straight Friend.  They invite New Guy to a party Friday night.

"Wait -- will your girlfriend be there?"  Gay Guy asks.  

"Yes."

"Fuck!  You never pay attention to me when she's around."  To New Guy: "His balls just evaporate when she's around." That must make sex difficult.

Scene 4; The party was cancelled, so Gay Guy and Boyfriend (from Scene 1) invite New Guy to a club .  Straight Friend and his Girlfriend will also be there.  So when they go out, it's Straight Friend-Girlfriend and Gay Guy-Boyfriend?  

On the way, Gay Guy and Straight Friend argue and break up.  The Girlfriend tells New Guy not to worry: they break up all the time, but get back together again. "Honestly, I think they just secretly want to fuck each other."  Ok, so it's not a subtext.

Left: New Guy Alex Wolff's penis

They end up partying on the roof. Gay Guy and Straight Friend kiss.  Wait, I thought you had other partners.

Later, while the guys are dealing with an overdose, New Guy and The Girlfriend bond.

More after the break

Gemstones Episode 4.5, Continued: Kelvin crashes, the Monkey fumes, and we find out who is bigger, Adam Devine or Joey Stefano

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The "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend" boys grow up: Gay subtexts and penises of Zayne, Elijah, and Steele. With bonus Dad bulge

 

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (2015-19) starred Rachel Bloom as Rebecca Bunch, a driven attorney (with degrees from Harvard and Yale both) who drops everything and moves to West Covina, California to track down Josh, the boy she met at summer camp 15 years ago (Vincent Rodriguez III, who would go on to play everyone's favorite family-friendly gay guy).  

As she tries to steal him away from his current girlfriend, then gives up and dates other guys, Rebecca becomes immersed in the lives of his friends and associates, including the gay White Josh (David Hull), who dates her newly-out bisexual boss.  And there are musical numbers that reveal the characters' inner state, such as "Fit Hot Guys Have Problems, Too."

We liked it so much that we went through the series twice.

Paula Proctor (Donna Lynne Chaplin), Rebecca's confidant and partner-in-crime in the devious schemes to land Josh, is a nuclear family mom with a troubled marriage to Scott (Steven Munroe, below) and two kids who dislike her.

1. Brendan is a budding juvenile delinquent who is obsessed with knives and swords ("What did I say about the katana on the table) and sells marijuana, with customers including Josh's girlfriend Valencia and Dad Scott. His heterosexual identity is not established until Season 3, when he mentions that Rebecca has "nice boobs." When his father tells him to be respectful, he changes it to "beautiful breasts."

In Seasons 1 and 3, Brendan was played by 16-20 year old Zayne Emory, who has 27 credits listed on the IMDB, including episodes of Modern Family, Shameless, Supergirl, and a lot of teencoms.  

He played JC Spink, Adam's bully-turned-friend on 29 episodes of The Goldbergs (2015-22).  JC has a gay-subtext buddy-bond with Brian (Zach Callison).

Most recently Zayne appeared on 10 episodes of The Rookie (2018-24) as Henry, son of main character John Nolan (Nathan Fillion).  He has a girlfriend.

Zayne seems to be heterosexual in real life, but at least he's given us a nude selfie.

2. In Season 2, Brendan was played by 17-year old Elijah Nelson, who has 38 acting credits on the IMDB, including episodes of The Thunderman, Bizaardvark, American Housewife, 911 Lone Star, and SWAT. 

Most recently he has played himself in 91 episodes of Shiloh and Bros (2020-25).  Brothers Elijah, Micah, Judah, and Josiah. and their sister Shiloh, post humorous videos like "Dress to Impress in Real Life" and "If Among Us Had No Chats."

More after the break

Has "Phineas and Ferb" gotten more gay-friendly since 2007? With bonus Adam Devine butt and Malcolm McDowell dick

I watched a few episodes of the Disney Channel's Phineas and Ferb when it first aired in 2007-2009, but was turned off by Mechanics Today vibe and the incessant heteronormativity.

The premise: 10-year old stepbrothers Phineas and Ferb (Vince Martella, Thomas Brodie-Sangster, top photo) spend their summer vacation creating technological marvels like time machines and space ships, thereby impressing their male friends and girlfriends (each has a heterosexual crush).  Their older sister Candace tries to tattle (either she's worried about their safety or she's just evil), but by the time Mom gets there, the elaborate devices have reverted into harmless toys; Mom therefore suspects that her daughter is suffering from a psychosis.  

Candace has a heterosexual crush, too: Jeremy, played by Disney teen Mitchel Musso, who has mental health issues.    

Meanwhile, their pet platypus, Perry (Dee Bradley Baker), has adventures as a super-spy.  Under the orders of Major Francis Monogram and his dimwitted assistant, he thwarts the plans of the evil Dr. Doofenschmirtz.  Most involve wacky evil-scientist inventions, making Doof and Perry sort of mirror images of Phineas and Ferb. 

In four seasons, there were no gay characters, although TV Tropes notes some Ho-Yah (queer codes used as jokes) shipping Doof/Perry and the bully Buford and his victim Baljeet.   

Showrunner Dan Povenmire said that there were some LGBT persons in the universe, but "it's nobody's business" who they are.  Got it, heterosexual romance gets infinite space, but gay people must be invisible.  Can't have kids finding out that they exist.  

In June 2025, ten years after the last Phineas and Ferb, a new season dropped.  Gay characters have appeared on Craig of the Creek, Duck Tales, Big City Greens, The Hollow, The Bravest Knight, Jellystone, Kippa and the Age of the Wonderbeasts, Kid Cosmic, The Ghost and Molly McGee, and many others.  Surely Phineas and Ferb can have a gay friend without traumatizing kids for life.

Especially since voice actors Vincent Martella (Phineas) and Maulik Pacholy (Baljeet) are gay.

I reviewed two 2025 episodes.

"Sleepover":  The main five kids and Candace and her friends are having two separate sleepovers in the same house on the same night.

The kids' sleepover activities: a scary movie in a geodesic dome with a popcorn floor.

Candace wants to bust her brothers, but her friends sing about the things they could do instead: play truth or dare, wear monster masks, and so on.

More after the break

Dane invites Tony Cavalero to take the plunge, but Dad likes him, too. With some Danish d*cks

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Jonathan Bennett: From Mean Girl to the King of Gay Christmas. Plus his d*ck, his husband, and a bonus Buddy butttt

 

A new d*ck pick of Jonathan Bennett popped up on one of my celebrity sites, so I checked out his Instagram to see if he was a good candidate for a profile.

Whoa, what a surprise. You can usually identify a gay actor from his social media posts (I only check Instagram and Facebook).  Straight guys begin their taglines with "married to the most incredibly gorgeous woman in the world" and post 3,000 pictures of the two holding hands, kissing, going to formal events, celebrating holidays, and discussing how much they love each other.  Gay guys keep  mum; they post a lot of photos with women, and maybe one in a hundred with their boyfriend, but they don't tell us who he is.  Even when they are out; I guess they don't want the homophobic pushback.

Take Buddy Keaton: The first 40 posts on his Instagram display no men at all, but 15 show him hugging, kissing, being licked by, and going to the beach with women.

He also invites us to try out his Diet Coke and his butt, but you have to really read between the lines to deduce gay identity from that. 

But Jonathan Bennett: the first 40 posts on his Instagram mention his husband 13 times and show him 10 times (including two kissing shots).

So who is this guy who is so completely out in an era where most gay guys closet their social media?

1. He's been around forever

Jonathan grew up in Rossford, Ohio, a suburb of Toledo, and got a few on-screen gigs while studying drama at Otterbein College.  Six months after graduating, he was in New York, playing bad boy JR Chandler on the soap All My Children (2001-02).

He played Aaron Samuels, football jock (of course) who is fought over by Cady and Regina in Mean Girls (2004).

The teenage Bo Duke, who joins forces with his teenage cousin Luke (Randy Wayne) to save Uncle Jesse's farm in the Dukes of Hazzard prequel, The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning (2007).

More after the break

Camden Garcia: The swishy straight kid on "Raising Hope" grows up to play femme gay guys. With bonus Ben d*ck and Boris butt

Raising Hope (2010-14) starred Lucas Neff as a teenager who accidentally becomes a father.  He has biceps, and a chest which he displays very rarely; his dad (Garrett Dillahunt) is on display quite often; and there's even a gay character, his boss Barney (Greg Binkley).  At least I think he was gay; he played a gay guy on the earlier My Name is Earl

Nope: his gayness was erased, like it was for this kid.

He's Camden Garcia playing Trevor, a young teenager who works at the grocery store, and gets a crush on Jimmy's girlfriend Sabrina.

A crush on a girl?  This kid?

In another episode, he's an actor starring in a show called Yo-Zappa-Do.  Jimmy and Sabrina attend.

Still straight.

The grown-up Camden has a chest and biceps as impressive as Lucas Neff's.   His Instagram tagline is: little/rascal, kid comedian, child actor, bikini girl.

He has a personal website with headshots, publicity, and a resume: 

A BFA in Theater Performance from Boston University, plus training at the Eugene O'Neill Theater Center and Second City 

Skills include drag queen, balancing things on his nose and chin, baton twirling, and working with chimps.

Theater: Newsies, Morning in Freedonia, This Could Be on Broadway, and Stamptown

Nice bulge, Buddy

And a lot of standup comedy shows where he riffs on being gay and femme. 

Camden grew up in Calabasas California.  His dad Greg Garcia was the producer and head writer for several popular sitcoms of the 2000s ("Greg, move your head!"), so naturally his career began with guest or recurring spots on Daddy's shows.  In addition to Raising Hope:

Two episodes of My Name is Earl (2007) as the Young Glen, who would grow up to be the ex-con associate of the reformed petty thief (Jason Lee).  Grown-up Glen was played by Ben Foster (left).

More after the break.  Caution: Explicit.

Skyler's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 5: Bathtub pic, glory hole pic, b*ondage with Scotty. Plus Corenswet and Hoult backsides

This is a collection of cute/cool or hot/humorous photos of  Skyler Gisondo, star of The Santa Clarita Diet, The Righteous Gemstones, and Superman.  

1. "Another photo collection?  Haven't you seen enough of me?"

I can't help it, buddy.  You keep posting homoerotic pics.

2. And now that you're starring in Superman, we have David Corenswet to worry about, too.

3. And Nicholas Hoult/Lex Luther

4. "Hey, I thought this was a photo collection about me."

Sorry.  How about a long-hair bathtub pic?

5. "Have you met my girlfriend?"

Odd time to introduce her.

6. I don't care what you do in private, but let's get back to the homoeroticism.  Tell me about your relationship with Scott McArthur when you were filming "Righteous Gemstones" Season 1.

"We really carped the diem… from frisbee golf courses to three-ways...I mean swamp tours to bondage... I mean bluegrass concerts to chasing down dicks...I mean chasing down the best fried chicken sandwich in Charleston."

More after the break.  Caution: explicit

Gemstones Episode 4.5: The dirt on Vance, Big Dick Mitch, and Lori. With Gossip Girl's Dad's d*ck and a nude Teenjus

 

Previous: Gemstones Episode 4.4: Keefe in drag, Pontius with three dicks, Jasper with one, and Casper the Friendly Ghost

Title: "You Shall Remember," from Deuteronomy 8.18: "You shall remember the Lord your God, for it is He who gives you the power to get wealth."  The Gemstones have forgotten that God made them rich so they can help people.  Tonight they'll get their comeuppance.  

The Dirt on Vance: Vance Simkins (Stephen Dorff) examines his burnt-out church and glares at the Gemstone satellite church across the street.  Cut to a Simpkins Commercial with him and his siblings, Craig and Shay, saying: "Grace.. .Praise... Rejoice..Salvation."

Vance calls his siblings to his office, but Shay won't come ("she wants nothing to do with you") and Craig (Gogo Lomo David) is just there for his money: their parents' estate put Vance in charge, so he has to depend on hand-outs.  Vance gives him $10,000, and tells him to make it last.

Craig criticizes Vance for running the church into the ground, destroying their parents' legacy.  He keeps trying to open new churches when they're broke, just to compete with the Gemstones: "You can't admit you're beat, can you?"  

Vance protests that he's going to win the Top Christ Following Man Award. 

"You're a straight white man," Craig digs. "Your kind don't get awards anymore. Wait -- are you straight?  Never had a girlfriend, sweetie-pie."  Enraged by the implication, Vance slaps Craig and throws him onto the desk.

Uh-oh, a church deacon saw the attack.  Vance is violent, like Uncle Peter in Season 3 and Lyle Lissons in Season 2....he's the Big Bad of the season!

Vance had some queer codes back in Season 3, when he swished around with that tiny dog.  It would make sense for him to be gay and closeted.

Gogo Lomo-David is gay in real life, but there's no evidence that his character is gay.

Baby Billy and Kelvin in Decline:  Baby Billy finishes his screenplay about a teenage Jesus and his friends, changes the title from "Teen Jesus" to "Teenjus," and snorts some cocaine.  That's the Belly of the Beast in the Gemstone universe, buddy.

Cut to Kelvin and Keefe rushing through the crowd of queer well-wishers to a party to celebrate his Top Christ Following Man nomination.  Jesse, Amber, and Judy look angry; Eli, Lori, and Gideon look happy.  Abraham looks intrigued; Pontius sneers.  Abraham is the last of Jesse's kids to get a queer code.  I wrote a fan story where he comes out.

They begin partying.  Kelvin joins his siblings to gloat at the big turnout.  Judy sneers: "You're their little gay avatar."  Jesse: "You need to stop smelling your farts."  Translation: He's getting way too conceited about this award thing.

Lori drops by.  They criticize her for having sex with their father.  She promises to lock the door next time, and asks if they can start over and be friends again.  After all, she's known them all their lives.  Nope, "We reject this union."  

Lori: "All y'all little cocksuckers better put on your big boy pants and get the fuck over it."  Hey, that's homophobic, and at a LGBTQ event!  My estimation of Lori dropped 20 points. 

She continues: "I wanted to be y'all's friend, but if you want a wicked stepmother, I can do that, too."  

The siblings interpret "stepmother" to mean that Lori and Eli got married.  They are disgusted. 

Baby Billy is Doomed. Cut to Baby Billy and Tiffany cuddling in a swing, while the Nanny cleans the pool.  He describes their life as idyllic, but it's going to get better.  They'll make a fortune with his new project, Teenjus.

The Nanny notes that she likes teen dramas like Pretty Little Liars and Gossip Girl.  She would watch Teenjus. Baby Billy yells at her.

Left: Matthew Settle, who plays the Dad on "Gossip Girl."

 Here he shows his dick.  At least you know it's not a prosthetic

And his backside

Tiffany suggests that Baby Billy retire so he will be around for their children growing up, but he refuses. He's got to seize this opportunity.  "I got to provide for you.  I don't know how much time I got."  Another precursor of doom.

BJ's Injury. BJ tries to make it from the toilet to his wheelchair, but fails and falls into the bathtub. Judy rushes in to help.  He complains that he can't even pee on his own. "I'm broken. I'm half a man."

Judy points out that the doctors say he will have a full recovery, but he refuses believe it. When she tries to help him out of the bathtub, he angrily yells at her to go.  

Amber arrives to see how they are doing -- they're both miserable -- and to give Judy a service monkey named Dr. Watson.  She works with a charity that trains service monkeys for disabled veterans (first I'm hearing of it)

More after the break