I 'm seeing more and more Thai BL series on Netflix. I like the universe where everybody is gay or bi, and the setting are sometimes interesting, but the multisyllabic names make research difficult. Try typing "Sailub Hemmawich Kwanamphaiphan" and "gay" into your search engine. And when you do, they never have n*de photos available; I have to make do with random nude dudes. I think this one is Japanese, not Thai. But who can resist a show called This Love Doesn't have Long Beans?
I checked: Long beans, fak yao, are legumes, denser and less juicy than Western green beans, and they grow up to three feet long. No proverb that I could find.
Scene 1: Influencer Prawan is reviewing the No Long Beans Basil House. He only reviews restaurants that specialize in basil stir fry, pad krapao. This one is special because they don't include long beans, a traditional ingredient in the dish.
He praises the atmosphere, the plating, and the food, loudly, annoying the other customers, until Chef Oab, the "Hellfire Chef," asks him to leave. Then he hates everything, insults Chef Oab, and tries to fight him. Waiters hold him back.
Scene 2: Shirtless musclemen posing for the camera. Influencer Prawan bursts in late, and then won't take off his shirt. "It's a commercial for a weight loss clinic. We asked for a model with a six pack." "Well..um...I can act." The director kicks him out.
Next he gets a text from the electric company: he has to pay his bill today, or they're cutting off his power. But he only has 99 baht (about $3.00) in his bank account. What can he do?
How about ask his agent for a loan? No way -- he got Prawan that modeling job, and he was kicked off the set for not being in shape. "You promised that you'd be in model shape by the beginning of the year!
Prawan begs for another chance. His influencer career isn't working out -- no one is paying him to review restaurants. Maybe if you expanded beyond pad krapao? --
"Just get me one more job."
"No, you're hopeless."
Scene 3: Back home, Prawan is inundated by bills from creditors and disconnect notices. He goes to his friend JJ's house and announces that he's staying there.
"Only for one night. After that, you go home."
"But my power's been cut off. I can't go home."
"I've paid your electric bill."
"Oh...well, they've turned off the water, too..." Har-har.
Scene 3: Chef Oab reviewing a commercial for his restaurant. First, as one of the celebrity judges on Kitchen Fire Thailand (logo in English), he screams that the pork is undercooked, and tastes awful. Cut to praising how he selects the ingredients for the world's best basil stir-fry (pad krapao). Most important: no long beans. Shouldn't that be a matter of taste?
He's not going to use the commercial.
"But why? We can make any changes you want."
"Because I'm closing the restaurant. I've lost my passion." Maybe try cooking something besides pad krapao?
"Is it because of your ex girlfriend?" Cut to him and his girlfriend hugging, gazing at each other, tasting food, and opening their restaurant, with "no long beans" because she is allergic to them.
"Yes, and also I need money. I'll sell to the first person who meets my offer."
More after the break
Scene 4: Cut to him tearing up a check for 20 million baht (600,000 dollars). "I know I said the first person, but I'm not selling to you. You're just a greedy investor, Methas!" Darn, I thought he was an x-boyfriend.
Cut to the Greedy Investor and his thugs literally dragging a guy out of his restaurant.
"But that restaurant was really old. It didn't deserve to stay open. I turned it into some soulless Brutopian structures."
"Get out!"
Scene 5: Chef Oab visits the Professor, the chef whose restaurant was co-opted, in the hospital. He's got severe coronary artery disease, and needs an operation right away.
The Professor happens to be the father of Chef Oab's ex-girlfriend. Small world. But he doesn't want to contact her -- "She needs to work on her studies."
Out in the hallway, Chef Oab tells the Professor's son that he transferred 500,000 baht to his account to pay for the surgery. That's why he needs money quickly.
That night, Chef Oab calls the Ex-Girlfriend anyway, and suggests that she call her Dad, without giving away his medical condition. Her gay bestie has arrived to walk her to class, so she has to hang up.
Scene 6: Chef Oab and the Professor's Son discuss how to keep his restaurant from being torn down. "The only interest so far is from developers."
"Why don't you hold a cooking competition? The chef with the best pad krapao gets your restaurant. That way it won't get torn down"
Scene 6: Press conference about the cooking competition.
Cut to Influencer Prawan from Scene 2 telling his friend JJ that he's going to join Greedy Developer Methas' team in the competition, and win, so it will be torn down, and he can get even with Chef Oab for being rude to hin, mwah-ha-ha.
"But you can't cook."
"It's just acting."
Scene 7: Greedy Developmer Methas looks at Prawan's resume. He hasn't acted in anything major, he doesnt' have the body to be a model, and what cooking experience does he have?"
"None. But the competition isn't for a few months. I can get some training after I join your team."
"You're an idiot. Get out."
Friend JJ comes to his rescue: "This man may not be smart, or talented, or muscular, or attractive, but he is better at eating pad krapao than anyone on the planet. He could be an invaluable addition to your team. And you think because you're incredibly gorgeous and sexy, with a body that won't quit, that you're so special..." He tries to punch Greedy Developer Methas, but Influencer Prawan drags him away.
Scene 8: Out in the hallway, JJ is seething. "We have to get even with Greedy Developer Methas for being so sexy...I mean, rude." He decides that they're going to join the competition by themselves, then win the restaurant and sell it to Greedy for much more than it's worth. He'll tear it down, and they'll both have their revenge, mwah-ha-ha. So much work for minor slights. These guys are remarkably petty.
Cut to Influencer Prawan spying on Chef Oab as he scopes out ingredients. Whoops, he's caught. "Spying on you? How ridiculous -- I'm here shopping! I'm getting ready to prepare my world famous pad krapao. It's just a coincidence that I have a list of the same ingredients that you have." Chef Oab confiscates his list.
And, in case you haven't figured it out, the two main couples will be Chef Oab-Influence Prawan, and JJ-Greedy Developer.
Beefcake: The flexing musclemen. There will be a lot of shirtless kissing later.
Heterosexism: None
Gay Characters: Everybody is gay or bi. Even minor characters like Prawan's agent and the Professor's Son.
My Grade: I'm not sure that a cooking competition interesting enough to support eight hour-long episodes, not when my other Thai BL choices are about a queer singer zapped into the past and the disciples of a shaman fighting an evil demonic force. But...everybody is gay. B
Left: Monpa dude from Tawang, India, in the Himalayas near Bhutan. The Monpa, the only scheduled tribe in India that used to be nomadic, speak three mutually unintelligible languages related to Tibetan. Isn't that more interesting than yet another guy from Bangkok?
One Night in Bangkok, Three Hundred Nights at Mugi
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