RG Beefcake and Boyfriends: Stephen Schneider

Showing posts with label Stephen Schneider. Show all posts

Stephen Schneider: Heterosexual love interest, heterosexual bottom, hung sleazoid, diversity dad

Stephen Schneider's profile on the IMDB tells us only that he was born in Sharon, Massachusetts and he's married with children. Wikipedia adds that he's Jewish.

Here he and his Dad study for his Bar Mitzvah.

He graduated from Emory University in Atlanta, started a sketch comedy website, and wrote, produced, and starred in some short films, including "Not Gay," 2006.

Soon Stephen found his niche in comedy, playing quirky boyfriends.

Ray Stark, the Love Interest of one of the Best Friends Forever, 2012.

Ben in the relationship comedy, Things You Shouldn't Say Past Midnight, 2014.

You're the Worst, 2014-17, follows the romance of two horrible people, Jimmy and Gretchen. Stephen plays Gretchen's ex, who is still in love with her. They eventually hookup, of course.

Stephen is on the IMBD list of Hung Actors, along with Derek Yates,John Cena, and Ben Affleck -- #32, but I don't think it's organized by size. He gets naked here, but no frontal.

Broad City, 2014-2017, follows two female best friends looking for love and sex in contemporary New York. Stephen plays Abbi's hunky next door neighbor, whom she is crushing on. When they finally hook up, she discovers that he's a heterosexual anal bottom. Not a problem, but then she tries to wash his favorite dildo in the dishwasher, ruining it, ending the relationship.

For someone who gets placed on the Hung List, Stephen is rather stingy about showing his dick. In Broad City, all we get are underwear shots.

More Stephen after the break. Caution: arousal.

I highly recommend Broad City (2014-19), about the adventures of two women in contemporary New York: the effervescent "let's get high and climb the Empire State Building" Ilana and the stick-in-the-mud "I can't -- I have to decide on a color scheme for the bathroom tile" Abbi.

Episodes are built around the trivial annoyances of everyday life:

Accidentally leaving your cell phone in a hookup's apartment, when you don't want to see him again.

Offering to wait to sign for a package for your neighbor, but it never arrives, and you're stuck.

Spending all day in the ice cream shop because you can't decide which flavor to get.

Telling your sex partner that you want to "switch" positions, but he thinks it means something else.

Washing your boyfriend's favorite dildo in the dishwasher, only to have it melted, then scouring the sex shops to find a replacement.

Wait...um...

This ain't your daddy's Seinfeld.

Instead of a street on the back lot in Studio City, Broad City features beautiful exteriors in Manhattan. The gang visits everywhere from Grand Central Station to the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

Instead of sex off camera, the girls and their friends are doing the deed in front of you. Lots of bare chests and butts.

Seinfeld was informed by homophobic anxiety about LGBT people, or attempts to get them to "switch teams (Kramer successfully converted a lesbian, but Elaine couldn't convert a gay man because she wasn't good enough in bed). But in Broad City, LGBT characters are fully integrated into story without comment. Ilana herself is bisexual, with a crush on Abbi, but they don't let it get in the way of their friendship.

Instead of guys taking their shirts off three times in ten years, Broad City is overloaded with hunks.

Ilana's gang includes:

1. Lincoln (Hannibal Buress), Ilana's regular sex partner. In the first episode, she face-times Abbi while having sex with him.

Lincoln's butt.

2. Jaime (Arturo Castro), her roommate, who is gay and unapologetically slutty, until he gets a boyfriend/

Gemstone connection: Tony Cavalero and Arturo Castro are friends, and will be starring together in the upcoming Operation Taco Gary's

Jaime's butt

More dicks and butts after the break

To see if Stephen Schneider (Stephen Downes of Season 3) has played any gay characters, I googled his name and "gay," and this clip came up on youtube. He's not in it.

A blond guy and a woman are standing at an apartment door . He asks "He never gave you the key?" She says no, so he bangs.

A very muscular black guy in his underwear answers. Shocked, he says "Oh...shit. Hey guys."

Blondie: "What the hell are you doing?"

Muscle Guy: "Sorry. We needed a place."

Woman: "For what?"

A swishy guy appears with a flourish, also in his underwear. They stare in shock.

Woman (Disgusted): "You're GAY????"

Muscle Guy (Upset): "No!!!!! But this n-word's son sucks really good dick." So the gay guy has a black parent?

The whole exchange -- the looks of shock and disgust, the need to defend yourself against the horrifying accusation, the gay guy's pronounced swishiness --- displays just the sort of jaw-dropping homophobia that I hate running into at 4:00 am.

The caption reads: You're the Worst - Brandon Mychal Smith. So let's look it up.

You're the Worst is a tv series that lasted for five years on FX (2014-2019), but was so under-exposed that I don't recall seeing a single commercial. Most episodes drew between .2 and .5 million viewers. It featured a romance between two horrible people, writer Jimmy (Chris Geere, the Blond Guy in the clip) and public relations person Gretchen.

The homophobic scene is from Episode 1.3, "Keys Open Doors." TO put it in context, I watched the whole episode.

Scene 1: Morning. After a night of carousing, Jimmy and Gretchen are lying naked, asleep, on the ground outside his house.

Cut to Jimmy pooping (butt shot) while Gretchen uses the hand nozzle of the shower to masturbate. Jimmy notes that he uses it too, in his butt.

They've spent six or seven nights together, so Gretchen wants a key to his apartment. He refuses, so she rushes out in passive-aggressive rage.

Scene 2: Edgar (Desmin Borges, left and below), Jimmy's horrible roommate, cooks breakfast. They discuss the key request as a symbol of banality and predictability, leading to "shopping for sconces at Williams-Sonoma."

Scene 3: At the coffee shop, Gretchen and her friend Lindsay discuss the key request, Lindsay's husband cheating, and "snorting in her vag." So she's bisexual?

Her assistant rushes in with a crisis: Sam the Rapper gave an interview to a college newspaper, and used "gay" and "faggot" 37 times! And the interviewer was the president of the gay student association! So, if he said all that to a straight person, it would be fine?

More after the break

In The Righteous Gemstones Episode 3.6, BJ Barnes intends to beat up Stephen (Stephen Schneider), the sleazy guitarist who had an affair with his wife. He goes to Stephen's house and finds him masturbating in the bedroom. The result is a 5-minute long fight between BJ and the naked Stephen, his cock and balls not only visible but emphasized throughout. The fight eventually moves outside, where BJ finishes it by grabbing and squeezing Stephen's balls.

They originally planned to use a prosthetic, but Stephen insisted on choreographing the scene using his own equipment, resulting in the most extensive full frontal shot in television history. Probably movie history, too.