RG Reviews

Reviews of episodes of The Righteous Gemstones (2019-25), a dark comedy/crime drama about a family of extremely wealthy Southern evangelical preachers.   I am especially interested in beefcake/male nudity (hanging dongs in almost every episode), gay characters (at least four), and queer codes (endless). 

Season 1

Episode 1.1: Kelvin is in love with a Goth boy, Judy with an atheist, and Gideon with the Devil. Plus some n*de dudes from Chengdu

Episode 1.1, Continued:  Blackmail, an o*rgy, double-dragon Ninjas, Scott Wolf's bulge, and Kelvin's d*ck.  Twice

Episode 1.2: Thai ladyboys, Italian shoes, Palestinian d*cks, and the  Devil's Kiss

 Episode 1.2 Continued: Eli catches a snake, Christian poses n*de, and Kelvin sees the Devil's T*esticle

Episode 1.3:  Kelvin outs himself, Scotty shoves a wiener into Gideon's face, and Jesse gets it all wrong

Episode 1.3, Continued: Gideon acts like a woman, Kelvin acts like a man, and chubby guys show their d*cks

 Episode 1.4:  Keefe looks for love in a sports bar, and Kelvin meets a girl

Episode 1.4 , Continued: Dot drives Kelvin crazy, Keefe refuses the Satanists, and Gideon and Scotty date

Episode 1.5: Eli and Baby Billy fight over Aimee-Leigh. Plus water sports and donkey d*cks

Episode 1.6: Kelvin sees Keefe's junk, and gets a big head.  Sounds like a fun evening

Episode 1.6, Continued: Scotty flirts, BJ is spanked, and Kelvin says "Let's hook up.  With bonus Kenyan dudes

Episode 1.7:  Keefe is in love, Scotty is ready, and everyone s*cks. With photos of guys doing it

Episode 1.7 Continued:  Bi fish, Thai brothers, and Scotty with a broken heart.  With a Thai guy bonus

 Episode 1.8: Kelvin's testicles, Chad's testicles, Jesse's butt, and ancient Philistine penises

Episode 1.9: Jesse is racist, Judy is a r*apist, and Kelvin is the devil.  With a Haitian dude bonus

 Episode 1.9, Continued: Kelvin goes dark, Keefe goes down, and Captain America saves the day

Season 1 Finale: Judy and Kelvin begin to heal, Scotty joins the family, and we say goodbye

Season 2

Episode 2.1: Junior likes d*cks, Kelvin likes pecs,and f*k yeah, we got both!

Episode 2.1 Continued: Keefe's kiss, Kelvin's b*oner, and a thug with broken thumbs.  With Jonah Hauer-King and a "proper e*rection" bonus

Episode 2.2: Kelvin clenches, Keefe dances, and everybody flirts with Eli.  With proof that everything is bigger in Texas

Episode 2.3: Kelvin topples, Keefe cuddles, and Titus is caged. With bonus s* loads

Episode 2.3 Continued: the darkness of roller coasters, club bulges, hookups, and apples.  With a lot of musclemen

Episode 2.4: BJ gets baptized, Baby Billy gets Funyons, Kelvin gets dissed, and Harmon gets a cat. With Israeli and Egyptian guys.

Episode 2.4, Continued:  Patricide, inc*est, cake and frolicking muscleboys

Episode 2.5: Yep, Kelvin is gay.  But there's embezzlement and murder, too

Searching "Muscle and Fitness" for Kelvin's cover. With Weatherford and Lesnar d*ck

Episode 2.6: Yep, they have s*x  Plus Judy grows a heart, Torsten a brain, and Amber the noive

Episode 2.6, Continued: Torsten gets it up, Keefe holds Kelvin's d*ck, and Sky goes skyclad

Episode 2.6 Deep Reading: The  S*x/Underwear Scene

Kelvin and Keefe have s*x, so why can't they kiss?

Episode 2.7: Holding hands among the yurts and eating pizza for desserts.  With a Jonathan Bennett bonus

Episode 2.8:  Baby Billy sees a ghost, Judy becomes a mom, and Kelvin gets *** up. With dwarf athletes

Episode 2.8  Continued: Macaulay Culkin grows up, the Cycle Ninjas break out, and Jussie Smollett shows his stuff

 Episode 2.9: Who killed Thaniel?  Will Keefe ever get a place at the table? Can we see some Gemstone alumns n*ked?

Episode 2.9, Continued: A perfect Christian, the Lion King, n*ked twinks, and lovers in old photographs

Season 2 Finale: The Godfather, Butch and Sundance, random n*de dudes, and "My love for you will never die"

Season 3

Episode 3.1: Kelvin collects c*cks, the Simpkins smirk, and Dusty flirts. With a Brazilian beefcake  bonus

Episode 3.1, Continued: Kelvin withholds s*x, Judy cheats, and Jesse fights

Episode 3.2: Kelvin's b*tt buddies, gay Percy, two toxic families, and some military dudes

Episode 3.3:  Baby Billy sings forever, Kelvin can't say the word, BJ poses n*de, and I'm depressed

Episode 3.3, Continued:  a fire dance, a limp wrist, a ph*allic sword, and Balkan muscle gods

The family responds to Keefe's fire dance

Episode 3.4: Wieners, betrayal, a burning a-hole, and Kelvin at his jerkiest. With a  Steve Zahn bonus

Episode 3.4, Continued: Mistaking love for dependency, two breakups, Kelton's b*tt, and some Cantonese guys

Episode 3.5: Young Kelvin, a pukka shell necklace, c*stration anxiety, and three n*de dudes 

Episode 3.6: BJ swallows a lot, Keefe learns about hard wood, and Kelvin gets a girlfriend

Episode 3.6 Continued: Kelvin and Keefe fight, BJ and Stephen fight, and nobody likes hologram Aimee-Leigh

Episode 3.7: The handsome man, misdirection, queerbaiting, and me yelling "What the f*k" a lot

Episode 3.8: Is Peter a woman? Are Kelvin and Keefe lovers?  Does Jesse dye his sideburns?

Episode 3.8, Continued: Kelvin's tender bits, Eli's hate, and coming out to the world

Episode 3.9: Baby Billy is bi,  Peter plots revenge, and Kelvin and Keefe cuddle. With a Josh O'Connor bonus

Episode 3.9, Continued: Five plot resolutions and a funeral. With collegiate jocks

 Season 3 Finale:  Kelvin and Keefe married?  Pontius a Dark Lord? Peter redeemed through the Redeemer?

Season 4

Episode 4.1: Elijah scoundrels, Winston dies, and Kelvin screams. With Bradley's body and Jackson's junk

Episode 4.2: Baby Billy's dork, BJ's pole, Kelvin's pipe, and the clobber verses

Episode 4.2, Continued: Pontius' private parts, Gideon's buddy, and JR's junk.  Plus Karen from "Will and Grace" sings.

Episode 4.3: Keefe has relations with the Devil. So does Eli. With a pole dancer and the Cobb's backside

Episode 4.3, Continued: Vance is homophobic, Jesse is sad, and Kelvin is doomed. With stuntman and Shakespearean d*cks

Episode 4.4: Gideon is gay, Jesse jealous, and Kelvin scared. With a Big D*ck and a play within a play.

Episode 4.4, Continued: Keefe in drag, Pontius with four d*cks, Jasper with one, and Casper the Friendly Ghost

 Episode 4.5: The dirt on Vance, Big D*ck Mitch, Lori, and Teen Jesus.  With Gossip Girl's Dad and a Queen

Episode 4.5, Continued: Kelvin crashes, the Monkey fumes, and we find out who is bigger, p*orn star Joey Stefano or Adam Devine

Episode 4.6: Kelvin cruises Anakin Skywalker, Jesse hangs dong, and Cobb gets his cobb bit off. With Ricky and Smiley Creature

Episode 4.6, Continued: Cobb smashes, Corey lies, and Kelvin is traumatized for life. With Jace Norman and Mongolian muscle

Episode 4.7: Pontius and Kelvin have their nards threatened, Gideon finds his voice, and skaters show their d*cks

Episode 4.7, Continued: Teenjus meets the Devil.  So does Kelvin. With a gay Christian and Jordanian junk

Episode 4.8: BJ's hookups, Corey's birthday blade, and Tyler's tree trunk

Episode 4.8, Continued: We finally see Big D*ck Mitch, the boy named Stacy, a serial killer, and a lot of tied-up dudes.

Episode 4.9: Corey moonwalks, Pontius hugs, and BJ greases his pole. Plus there are two hunkoids on crosses, one with a d*ck

Episode 4.9, Continued: Do the siblings really die?  Do Kelvin and Keefe really get married?  With a lot of d*cks to get you through it.

You are invited to the Kelvin/Keefe wedding, with exclusive NSFW photos from the honeymoon

Gemstones Season 4 Finale: Saying goodbye, with eight gay/bi characters, endless c*cks, and a friggin' gl*ory hole