"Killing It," Episode 1.8: Does the Kingmaker like-like Brock? Are the Flo Boys brothers or boyfriends? And whose d*ck is that?

 

Killing It (2021-23) stars Craig Robinson as a Florida schlep who tries to get rich by hunting pythons in the Everglades.  Scott MacArthur plays his frenemy, a seasoned python hunter.  The two have a sort of love-hate gay-subtext relationship, but I'm going to review Episode 1.8, "The Kingmaker," which gives us Brock's back story.

Scene 1: 2016. Brock and his wife are celebrating their anniversary, discussing how much hot sex they're going to have tonight.  Whoops, they forgot that their son Corby (Wyatt Walter) is sitting at the table with them. Why bring your son to your anniversary dinner?  Have him order a pizza.  

Brock is a manager now, so they'll be able to buy a house.  Everything will be perfect from now on. Never say that on tv, or you're doomed.

 Uh-oh, phone call: It's the Boss, firing him for incompetence.  Brock switches from begging not to be fired to yelling "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"

Scene 2: 2018. Brock is lying in bed, talking to himself about how great he is: "I can kill a python with my bare hands!" But he's also sensitive; he cries when he thinks of his mother passing -- "women eat that stuff up."  He appeals to all four quadrants: kings, queens, teens, tweens, and men."  Aren't the kings men?  He just needs a partner to help monetize his fan base.

Son Corby asks why he's been sleeping in the guest room for the last month, and suggests marital counseling, but nope: "Your mother and I are fine."

Scene 3: At breakfast, Brock suggests a video where he's out catching pythons in free-balling jeans, so viewers can see his butt -- a tactic sure to draw followers.  His wife thinks that his goal of becoming an influencer is misguided, but he insists: one guy makes $190,000 a year letting spiders bite him.  

"Is he hot?"

"Um...yeah, incredibly hot, but...is that important?"  Brock is bi.

He's got a meeting with viral marketing pros today that will make his career. 

Scene 3: While driving Corby to school, Brock tries to bond by bragging about the big car they're going to get when he's internet-rich, but "I don't care what kind of car you drive."  This depresses Brock: "WHen I was a kid, I worshipped my Dad."

Scene 4: Brock giving his pitch at the Viral Marketing Agency.  "We want you to be sponsored by a major tobacco company."

"Fine, no moral qualms here. I'm not some fucking weird-ass pussy."  I forgot to mention that Brock is a terrible person.  They all are.

Actually, they want him to cast negative social attention on vaping, so kids will try cigarettes instead: use a vape pen all day, while secretly taking poison, so: "Your liver will give out, but you won't die, as long as you get to the hospital in time."  It pays $8,000.

"Don't you have any regular advertising, like gloves?"

You need a million followers for that, and he only has 150,000.

Scene 5: A depressed Brock looks at one of his python-hunting Youtube videos, and wonders why it has only 150 views. He accidentally clicks on the Flo Boys (Chris Mason, Luke Mullen), whose video got 1,000,000 views in an hour.  They're a Christian prankster team: after they pray, they dare Intern Kyle (Trey Best) to eat some mace-covered chicken wings. He runs away sobbing.

Left: The d*ck of someone named Chris Mason (there are a lot of them).  

Luke Mullen played the first identified gay character on a Disney Channel program, in Andi Mack.  He mentions a girlfriend in an interview, but his Instagram is full of pictures with male friends.

Back to Killing It:

Brock calls his son Corby and shows him the video.  "Look who's sitting with the Boys -- Kevin Brailing, the Kingmaker!"  He's got 120 million subscribers; he can make or break online influencers.  

Cut to the Kingmaker being interviewed. "I can get anyone 2 million followers," he announces.  The downside: he's making content constantly, with no time for shopping or having friends.

The Flo Boys are based in Miami, which means that the Kingmaker is in Miami right now!  

Scene 6: While on the way to the Flo Boys' house, Brock gets a call from the Viral Marketing people: some boys in Ohio got poisoned from vaping, so theyr'e going to use them instead. 

He yells: "Lose my number.  My life has value.  I have a family, I have talent, and I'm on my way to a meeting.

Crash, explosion!

More after the break

Pernille: Norwegian angst comedy with a gay dad, a bi nephew (probably), a gay wedding (almost), lots of funerals, and nude Vikings

I did my undergrad at a Swedish Lutheran college, where everyone had to read Ibsen and Strindberg (ugh!), and listen to Peer Gynt (shudder), so I don't trust Scandinavian fiction.  Even the comedies tend to the dark and dreary.  So, when Pernille (2021-24), renamed from the Norwegian Pørni for obvious reasons, appeared on Netflix as a "triumph of Norwegian television," I decided to do a little research before jumping in:

1. Any gay characters?  

2. How many deathbed scenes?

The premise: Pørni, a single mother (until she starts dating Bjørnar  in Episode 1.2), works for child protective services. After her sister's tragic death, she becomes responsible for her teenage nephew Leo (Jon Ranes)

Left: Gunnar Eiriksen plays Bjørnar, but I think this is a different one.

 Episode 1.3, "Don't Get a Boyfriend, Please":  "When Leo has an angry outburst during a match, Pørni urges him to deal with the elephant in the room." 

The elephant must have something to do with the request to not get a boyfriend.  Leo must be gay, and Auntie Pørni disapproves.

Nope, the elephant is: His dad killed his mother, and wll probably go to prison, but Leo hates him, and thinks that he should have died. 

Pørni advises that, regardless of the anger he feels, Leo owes the kid he attacked an apology, and he shouldn't have called him "mongo."  Not a gay slur -- it refers to a mental disability.

Episode 1.6: Leo has a "Big Day," but when I checked, it turned out to be his confirmation (joining the Lutheran Church).  And the guy sitting next to him is a family member, not a boyfriend.

Leo next appears in the plot synopses in Episode 2.3, when a girl named Rains comes into the kitchen, and everyone is shocked: "I thought they broke up."  "No, they're just open to seeing other people."  Heterosexualized in the second season!

But in Episode 5.6, which I skimmed through for another reason, Auntie Pørni asks Leo, "Have you seen Lukas lately?" with that eager gleam that you doubtless recognize from your childhood, when your parents were playing matchmaker.  He responds, "Not since I picked up the t-shirts for the bachelor party.  Why?"  "Oh, no reason."  Gleam, gleam, knowing smile. 

They use he/him pronouns: Lukas is a guy.  And it sounds very much as if Pørni is trying to push them together.  Maybe Leo has come out as bi.    

Actor Jon Ranes plays a youth gang member in the concurrent Flus (2022-24), and sings under the name Loverboy.  I don't know if he's gay in real life or not, but I have my suspicions.

I was so invested in skipping over the darkness, depression, and unyielding agony of life in Scandinavian comedies that I missed the elephant in the room:

Episode 1.1: While dealing with the grief over her sister's murder, Pørni learns that her elderly father (Nils Ole Oftenbro) is dying of an incurable brain tumor.  As he will be dead soon, he reveals a secret that he has been keeping for 70-plus years.

Yep he's gay.  And the brain tumor was a misdiagnosis.  He's fine; well, terribly depressed, but in a Scandinavian comedy, who isn't?  

Left: Nils Ole Oftenbro, early photo.  He's been acting since the 1960s.

 

More after the break. Caution: Explicit.

Ryan Potter: Nude and j/o photos of the Supah Ninjah, Beast Boy, Hiro Hamada, mystic, gamer, and bisexual buddy

 

Ryan Potter is best known as Gar Logan, aka Beast Boy, in the DC Comics Universe series Titans (2018-23).

These aren't the Teen Titans from your Daddy's comics collection.  The original Robin the Boy Wonder is still around, but the team also includes two oof his successors, Jason Todd and Tim Drake, as well as Connor Kent, the clone of Superman and Lex Luthor.

Plus there are gay and trans characters, and quite a lot of backsides on display, including Ryan's.

Born in 1995, Ryan lived in Tokyo for the first seven years of his life, and then moved to Los Angeles.  He started his acting career in Supah Ninjas (2011-13), spelled wrong on purpose, playing a shy, quiet student who discovers that he is...um...a super Ninja.  His best friend and the Girl of His Dreams join the team, tutored by his grandfather, George Takei.

More movies about shy, quiet students who learn martial arts followed, plus some Disney teencoms and a lot of animated series about martial arts.

In the various Big Hero 6 movies  and tv programs (Baymax and..., Big Chibi 6, Baymax Dreams, Big Hero 6: The Series, Baymax!), Ryan plays Hiro Hamada, a teenage robotics genius who creates a snowman-like inflatable robot named Baymax.  He and his friends and the Girl of His Dreams form the superhero team Big Hero 6.

One of the versions has a gay character named Mbita, and  another has Brooks Wheelan as Fred, "team mascot at SFIT."

The animated Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous (2020-22) follows teens at a summer camp on Isla Nubar who get stuck when the dinosaurs take over.  There are two lesbian teens among them, but Ryan's character is straight.

That's a lot of straight guys, but in his private life Ryan is a gay ally:

He was the youngest celebrity to speak out on the No H8 campaign in 2012, favoring the legalization of same-sex marriage

In 2021, he tweeted that his Titans character, Gar, was bisexual.

In 2022, he came out as bisexual himself.

More after the break

Bill Cable: 1980s nude model and gay porn performer, boyfriend of Elvira and Pee-Wee Herman, rock star in "Basic Instinct"

If you grew up in a heteronormative desert, like most gay boys in the 1970s, with nude and even shirtless guys vanishingly rare in magazines, movies, and tv, West Hollywood in the 1980s was a Paradise.  You could buy a dozen glossy, full-color magazines aimed at gay men with every conceivable taste and interest:

Drummer for leather and BDSM

Blueboy for dating advice

Mandate for muscle

In Touch for humor 

Inches for...well, you get the idea.

All of them were illustrated by full-page and centerfold photos of men, artistic and raunchy, always naked, sometimes aroused.  

You saw this guy everywhere, but probably didn't realize that Cable, Stoner, and Bigg John were all the same model.  Now we know.

He was Bill Cable, born William  Laurence Cumpanas in northern Indiana in 1946.  His grandparents were from Dalmatia (now part of Croatia), and he grew up with a strong sense of his Croatian identity,   

His family moved to Los Angeles in 1950.  He played football at North Hollywood High School and the University of Nevada, but a  massive head injury forced him to quit.  In 1970, he returned Los Angeles to pursue a new career as a model.

Bill modeled in all of the famous gay magazines of the 1970s and 1980s, plus gay porn pictorials for Colt Studios and The Athletic Model Guild.  

He also appeared in straight porn pictorials, mainstream fashion ads, and the influential After Dark magazine.  And in gay postcards, which you bought with no intention of actually mailing.

He posed nude in Playgirl three times, for:

"Long Cool Summer" (July 1973)

Victoriana (November 1974)

"Beauty and the Beast" (May 1975)

Bill's movie career began with a non-speaking role as a leatherman with a whip in the gay porn Bijou (1972).  Next came some collaborations with straight pornographer Carlos Tobalina: Last Tango in Acapulco (1973), Jungle Blue (1978), and Flesh and Bullets (1985).

Sometime in the early 1970s, Bill and Carlos wrote, directed, and starred in  What's Love (restored in 1987), "which deals with the themes of romantic obsession and Christian blasphemy."  From the various synopsses, it appears that, Carlos plays a cop who gets in touch with a magical self.  Bill as Jesus seduces him and his wife. 

More after the break

Max Casella after dating Doogie: Christian Bale's buddy, Tony Soprano's driver, Timon, Bottom, bi. With a small d*ck bonus.

 

In the early 1990s, if your parents belong to a certain socioeconomic class, you were required to watch ABC's ultra-conservative programming block on Wednesday nights: 

The Wonder Years, with Fred Savage as a boy winning the Girl of His Dreams in the 1960s.

Home Improvement, with Tim Allen grunting with tools.

Coach, with Craig T. Nelson as a...football coach.

And Doogie Howser, MD, with Neil Patrick Harris as a 16-year old who somehow managed to finish medical school, become a doctor, and get girls.

I wasn't of a certain age, I was not living with parents of a certain socioeconomic class, so on Wednesday nights I was watching Seinfeld.   Not Doogie Howser, because of its ridiculous premise and "Girls are the meaning of life!" ideology.  

 But I did notice Max Casella, who played Doogie's buddy: 22-26 years, "cute as a bug's ear," as the oldsters would say, and a member of the Short Guy Brigade at 5'7".

As everyone knows, Neil Patrick Harris came out a few years after Doogie, and for some inscrutable reason agreed to play "himself' in the homophobic Harold & Kumar movies and heterosexual horndog Barney on How I Met Your Mother (2005-14).  More recently, in Uncoupled (2022), he played a gay man dealing with the death of his partner and suddenly becoming single at midlife. 

But what has Max Casella been doing?

I'm researching the three standard questions: 

1. Any gay roles?

2. Gay in real life?

3. Any n*ude photos?  

1. Any gay roles?

In Newsies (1992), a Disney movie about the newsboys' strike of 1899, Max plays Racetrack Higgins, who may be gay or bisexual.  When focus character Jack (Christian Bale) says that they can't beat up the newsboys who refuse to join the strike, he "jokingly" suggests kissing them.

In Ed Wood (1994), the biopic of the director known for crossdressing, Glen or Glenda? and Plan 9 from Outer Space, Max plays Paul Marco, the gay actor who often starred in Wood's films.  His sexual identity is not mentioned here.

Later Max moved into animation, voicing characters on Pepper Anne, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Kim Possible; and video games such as Jak and Daxter (a humanoid elf and his previously-human otter-weasel buddy) and Grand Theft Auto: The Ballad of Gay Tony (he doesn't voice Gay Tony).

He appeared in 28 episodes of The Sopranos (2001-07) as Benny Fazio, who is partnered with Chris Moltisanti and sometimes works as Capo Tony's driver.  He's married with children.

Inside Llewelyn Davis (2013) depicts a day in the life of the folk singer (Oscar Davis) in the early 1960s Greenwich Village scene.  Max plays Club Manager Pappi Corsicato, who has sex with Llewelyn's girl.

Tulsa King (2024-): Sylvester Stallone plays a mob boss who tries to start a new cosa nostra among the Oklahoma cowboys.  Max plays Manny Truisi, formerly a soldier in the Invernizzi Family, who tried to assassinate Stallone's Dwight, then fled. and started a new life working on a horse ranch.  He's got a wife and kid.

More after the break.  

Who is Bradley Cooper, and why is he "ultra-famous"? With his gay/sort of bi characters , backside, and d*ck

 

Danny McBride promised an ultra-famous guest star for Righteous Gemstones Episode 4.1, the Civil War prequel, but kept him a super secret, so his appearance would be a shocking reveal.  I watched the entire episode, wondering who the ultra-famous guest star was.  

Turns out that it was....BRADLEY COOPER!!!!!

Who the heck is that? 

It's such a generic name, it could belong to anyone.

The main Bradley Cooper has  75 acting credits on the IMDB. I've seen six:

Wet Hot American Summer (2001), watched to review.  Bradley plays Ben,  a gay guy at the summer camp who gets a boyfriend.  His peers are horrified: "Ben is a fag!" But they give him a wedding present anyway.

Guardians of the Galaxy, Guardians of the Galaxy 2, Avengers: Infinity Game, and Avengers: Endgame, where he voices the the sentient raccoon character.  

Dungeons and Dragons: Honor among Thieves, where he plays a loveable rogue.

No wonder I didn't recognize him, or his name.

You can't really blame me. Who'd want to see Alias (2001-06), about a lady spy with a  "you're arrogant!" bickering partner?

Or Bending All the Rules (2002), about a woman juggling two boyfriends, David Gail and Bradley?  Even though he shows us his backside.

Or The A-Team (2010), a remake of a 1980s tv show that I never saw.  Even though it shows us Bradley's impressive physique.

Or Wedding Crashers, He's Just Not Into You, The Hangover, or The Hangover II?  They sound like nontstop heteronormative sleaze fests.

I might have gone to see Valentine's Day (2010), if I knew there was a gay plotline in the ensemble: Holden (Bradley) dumps his boyfriend, pro football player Sean (Eric Dane) because he's closeted, but after his career is over, the guy comes out, so Holden takes him back.

More after the break, including some c*ocks

Miles Heizer: Gay and nearly-gay roles, a real-life girlfriend and several boyfriends, plus a penis and Guy's Bar

I am certainly going to visit a bar full of  guys, even if it's spelled wrong.

Or is Guy the owner, so it's Guy's bar?

I'm going either weay, but I'm not sure if Miles Heizer wants to come along.

You probably remember Miles from Parenthood (2010-2015), the sitcom with Craig T. Nelson and his four children and eight grandchildren.  It was like Modern Family without the diversity.  Miles played grandson Drew Holt: shy, sensitive, artistic, but still girl-crazy, with several girlfriends fighting over him.

The Greenville, Kentucky native was born in 1994, and began acting in 2005, with many guest spots before Parenthood, plus Rails & Ties (2007), about a young boy who survives a catastrophic train crash, and Rudderless (2014), about a father grieving over his dead son.

He had some gay-positive roles after Parenthood.

In Love, Simon (2018), he plays Cal, who the closeted Simon mistakenly identifies as Blue, another closeted teen who posts about his experiences online.  Cal is not, but he offers an ear if Simon wants to talk, suggesting that he may be bisexual, or at least an ally.

In 13 Reasons Why (2017-20), which spends three seasons explaining why a high school girl killed herself, Miles plays Alex Standell, who kisses his boyfriend Timothy Granaderos, after they are named prom kings, and everyone in the school applauds. 

He also gives us a n*de scene.  Wait, that's a woman you're on top of.  What gives?

According to Wikipedia, he dates Jessica in Seasons 1-3, then Winston Williams (Deaken Bluman) and Charlie St. George (Tyler Barnhart) in Season 4. 

Wait -- AZ Nude Men says that Miles is  kissing Timothy Granaderos (left), but the fan wiki says Charlie St. George.  Granaderos plays Montgomery de la Cruz, a series antagonist who hooks up with guys, but isn't actually gay. 

Take your pick.  

After 13 Reasons, Miles appeared in two podcast series, Undertow: Narcosis and The Sisters.

He also starred in The Ex-Husbands (2023): a Manhattan dentist (Griffin Dunne of American Werewolf in London gets dumped by his wife, so he flies out to Tulum to crash his son's bachelor party. Whoops, that son gets dumped, too. Miles plays another brother, who is gay and therefore doesn't have to worry about marriage (um...gay marriage happens?)

It gets weird after the break

Wes Stern (sigh): Was the cutest teen idol of the 1970s gay, or just pretending? With bonus n*de Sal Mineo and Dustin Hoffman

 

Sigh.  Isn't this most groovy, ginchy, dreamy, outta sight dude to ever have his name written amid little hearts in a chemistry notebook?

Er...I mean he's a hot snack.

Wait -- not Bobby Sherman.  I meant his boyfriend, Wes Stern (sigh).

In the spring of 1971, 27-year old Bobby Sherman was probably the #1 teen idol in the country,or maybe #2 to David Cassidy of The Partridge Family.  He had released 10 albums and 23 singles, includiing hits "Easy Come Easy Go" and "Julie Do Ya Love Me."  His shirtless photos were plastered all over the teen magazines, actually more often than David Cassidy's.  And he had displayed acting talent as the "allergic to girls" beach movie star Frankie Catalina on an episode of The Monkees, plus two seasons as Troy Bolt on Here Come the Brides (1968-70).

The minds of ABC executives started churning.  Why not give him his own tv series?  He could play "himself," and sing a different number every week.  Surefire hit, right?

They based the premise on the singer/songwriter team Boyce and Hart.  Bobby would play Bobby Conway, a struggling singer. They just needed an awkward, "girl-shy" dude to provide the comic relief and tight jeans as his nerdish lyricist Lionel Poindexter.

Thousands of groovy dudes showed up for open auditions, but Bobby really, really liked 23-year old Wes Stern (sigh).  

Soon they were seen together at Hollywood hot spots, preparing for the deep, deep, deep romance (um...friendship) that would characterize their series.  

Everybody idolized Bobby Sherman at the time, but Wes (sigh) really pushed  up the lovelorn gaze.  He was definitely up for some snogging, and I'm sure that the nearly-openly bisexual Bobby Sherman obliged. 

Interestingly, Bobby married Pat Carnel that summer, and published an introduction to Wes (sigh) claiming that he "loves girls."  Protesting too much, buddy?

Left: Bobby hasn't revealed much about his male loves, but we almost know he dated almost-out actor Sal Mineo.

And Wes (sigh)

Tie-in novels and comic books were ordered, gushing teen magazine articles were written -- Wes (sigh) lives in a "bachelor apartment in West Hollywood.".  Then, after a "meet cute" episode of The Partridge Family, Getting Together premiered in October 1971. 

We must have watched -- the alternative was All in the Family, which Mom and Dad didn't allow because of the atheists.  But I don't recall anything except Bobby and Wes (sigh) smiling at each other.  My description comes from nostalgia articles:

In the first episode, Bobby becomes the guardian of his orphaned younger sister, but she runs away when she thinks her presence is interfering with their romance...um, I mean friendship. Don't they have their own room?  

Most episodes involved their parenting problems rather than the singing-song writing stuff - dig, a teenage girl in 1971 likes The Lawrence Welk Show!

Co-parents in an alternative family, plus the guys lived in an antique shop. They couldn't be more gay-coded if they plastered their bedroom with pictures of Steve Reeves.  

Except Getting Together didn't air on  ABC's Friday night block of kid-friendly programs.  It aired on Saturday night, where it failed to make a dent in the juggernaut of Archie, Edith, and the Meathead.  14 episodes appeared through January 1972, and then the duo disbanded.  But the memory of a gay romance has lingered.

Was Wes (sigh) gay in real life, did he and Bobby have a platonic-pal bromance, or was their relationship purely manufactured? I knew almost nothing about him then, and I still don't.  He is almost absent from the internet.  All I have is a few details about the show and 13 acting roles listed on the IMDB. 

He was born in New York City on July 25th, 1947.  "Stern" means "star" in German and Yiddish, so I'm assuming Jewish, although "Wesley" is a Methodist name.  No info on his education.  In 1969 he hit Hollywood and joined the Groundlings comedy troupe.

He turned down the role of Benjamin Braddock in The Graduate (1969) to star in The First Time (1969): Three teenage boys on vacation in Niagara Falls mistake Jacqueline Bisset for a hooker and set out to lose their virginity.  Wes (sigh) is into it, but his gay-coded friend is not.

More after the break

Gemstones Episode 2.1: Junior likes dicks, Kelvin likes pecs, and f**k, yeah! We got both.

Previous: Gemstones Season 1 finale: Judy and Kelvin begin to heal, and Scotty joins the family

Season 2 of The Righteous Gemstones began over two years after the Season 1 finale, and the back stories, personalities, and even the genre has changed.  Remember, Danny McBride likes his seasons to be complete stories, with no or few call-backs, so new viewers easily understand what's going on.  In fact, it may be fun for us to start afresh, watch as if we have never seen or heard of these people before.  

Title: "I Speak in the Tongues of Men and Angels."  I Corinthians 13.1: "Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal." Charity means "love," of course.  We'll see who is lacking.

Memphis Soul Stew: Memphis, 1968. Teenage Eli Gemstone, the Maniac K*d (Jake Kelley), is playing a heel, a pro wrestling villain: "from the wrong side of the tracks, a newcomer to the League, all muscle, all attitude."  He fights dirty, pretending to reconcile with opponent Kyle Hawk, then throwing him out of the ring.  

As he fights, his manager Glendon Marsh (Wayne Duvall) cheers. Glendon's teenage son Junior (Tommy Nelson) watches, sometimes happy but usually disturbed.  Is he jealous of the attention Eli is getting?  Is he a rebellious teenager during the era of the Generation Gap?.

Nice Cock:  In the locker room, Glendon offers Eli "some bonus pay on the South Side," while Junior looks on, smoking a cigarette, still either jealous or angry. As they leave, they pass a naked guy. "That's a nice cock, Ernie," Glendon says.  Junior is so busy looking that he trips, and then looks back again.  The teenager is definitely into cocks and butts.

The Loan Enforcer: Glendon is a loan shark as well as a wrestling manager: the job involves beating up a deadbeat.  Eli and Junior both go, squabbling over who's the boss.  

"Kill 'em!" we hear.  Psych!  It's the tv.  We meet a slovenly, drunken, foul-mouthed, abusive jackass of a husband.  While Junor subdues his wife and son, Eli punches him a few times and asks for the money, and when he doesn't have it, breaks his thumbs. Junior laughs "derangedly" (according to the subtitles).

Afterwards Glendon drops Eli off, hands him some money, and tells him, "Buy yourself something nice." This is a feminizing statement. 

As Eli drives off on his motorcycle, we hear Buck Owens' "Tall Dark Stranger":

 They say a tall dark stranger is a demon, and  that a devil rides closely by his side.

 So if Junior is the demon, Eli must be the devil riding beside him.  How long will they ride together?

Abusive Daddies all the way down:  Eli drives to the Gemstone residence (it's not a stage name, apparently), where his abusive dad chastises him for being late for dinner. So they're eating after Eli's wrestling match?  Like at 11 or 12 pm?   There's also a mousy, skittish mom and a little sister, May-May (important in Season 3). 

Ordered to say grace, Eli jokes: "Good food, good meat, good God, let's eat," which makes May-May laugh.  Dad slaps him.  End of flashback.

We're fine with the faggots:  In 2022, elderly Eli Gemstone is a megachurch pastor and televangelist.  He and the satellite church ministers are discussing the case of Pastor Butterfield (Victor Williams), caught videotaping his wife and another woman having sex in a dance club restroom, while they were all high on Molly ("we thought they were Sweetarts").  The story made the front page of The New York Times, thanks to reporter Thaniel Block (Jason Schwartzman), who has made a career of publicizing ministerial sex scandals.  Eli wants to be lenient, but the others object.  (Left: random pecs)

A Spanish speaking pastor explains: "My church is ok with the maricones (roughly faggots), but we're not ready for swinging and tropus."     Pastor Diane translates: "His church is really cool with the gays and the queers, but not so much about the swingers and the thruples."  They fire Pastor Butterfield; he tries to commit suicide.

 Why did Pastor Diane translate maricones with two words, gays and queers?  Why queers, doubtless with the old pejorative meaning rather than the contemporary reclamation? I get the impression that the pastors are not really ok with maricones, so any gay ministers might want to stay in the closet, especially with the reporter snooping around.  Since this is the first scene in the present day, it is doubtless setting up one of the main conflicts of the season.  But who is the gay minister  Eli, Junior, or someone not yet introduced?  

Left: God Squad pecs

Tell the girls:  A young man rides a motorcycle to the Gemstone Compound, doing crazy stunts (this will be important later), while the background song advises:

Tell the girls that I am back in town.  They'd better beware

They may run, and they may hide.

I'll follow, and I'll be there.

A stalker?  At least we know that he's not the closeted gay minister.  He turns out to be Eli's grandson Gideon, back from a job as a stuntman to assist with the Gemstone ministry.  He's going to move into the house that Eli built for his abusive dad.

In other news, Gideon's younger brother Abraham has been masturbating, and leaving "semen loads" all over the house, like in the freezer next to the Dreamsicles.  

Left: Selfie. Not Gideon or Abraham

We cut to a church service with Eli Gemstone, Jesse, Judy, and Kelvin, announcing the start of their streaming service, GODD.  We see Jesse's wife Amber, their sons, and Judy's husband BJ in the audience.  No partner for Kelvin. He must be single

F*k, yeah!  More pecs and dicks after the break

Workaholics, Episode 6.1: Blake is gay in this one, but don't worry, Adam still likes dicks. With bonus Dane cock...I mean Cook

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