Looking: Gay dudebros look for love and sex, with countless directorial tricks and some nudity

(Apparently the "sensitive content" tag was just some homophobe complaining about gay content, so I've put the nudity and word "gay" back into this review)

Looking. on MAX (2014-15), is a gay-themed comedy-drama about a group of 30-ish gay men looking for love and sex in San Francisco.  I lived in San Francisco for two years, so maybe I can get some nostalgia going on: let's review Episode 1.1

Scene 1: Paddy (Jonathan Groff, below) is meeting a stranger in the  park. The guy refuses kissing or conversation, just starting a hand job. That's it?  What are you, amateurs?  At least get on your knees. Suddenly Paddy's cell phone rings -- he thinks it's his mother, because who else calls these days? -- and he scrams. 

Scene 2: Paddy's friends, Richie (Raul Castillo) and Dom (Murray Bartlett), who drink all the time, praise him for getting a hookup: now he can finally call himself a pervert. They discuss booze on the bus (I never once rode a bus, either. It was Muni, BART, or drive and spend an hour looking for a parking space)

Scene 3: They guys are talking about a bachelor party. I'm rather confused. One of the grooms invited his ex-boyfriend, which is a bad idea, but is Paddy the ex-boyfriend, or are they talking about someone else?  Paddy criticizes Gabe (one of the grooms?) for being too fat, but the others criticize his body-shaming.  They also reference Frank. OMG, introduce your characters!  Dom discusses how much he loves booze; at least he has  a character tag.

 

Scene 4:  Morning. Establishing shot of a quiet San Francisco hill, not Castro Street. Paddy awakens to the sound of two guys having sex in the next room and says "Oh my God."  You got a problem with gay sex homophobe?

The two guys (who may be Dom and Richie) seem to be giving each other hand jobs (Doesn't anyone in San Francisco do the more usual things?).  But one of them realizes that he's late for an appointment; "This guy might take the room" -- Tara's friend --  so he leaves.  Ok, the guy with the appointment calls his partner "My Little Cuban Sandwich," so he must be Augustin (Frankie Alvarez). 

More plot: the guy with the appointment keeps asking Augustin to move in, but he usually refuses.  He's agreeing today because he "can't afford the City anymore."  Wait -- the establishing shot was the City.  Aren't these the guys who are having sex in Paddy's apartment?

Scene 5: Breakfast. Paddy talking to a guy we can't see, so the big reveal will be a surprise.  He heard the guy and Frank having sex through the wall.  Frank must be the guy with the appointment, played by O.T. Fagbenle.  I assume it's a stage name/

Another guy walks in -- Augustin?  And Paddy was discussing Frank, so who is the guy he is talking to? The camera moves back -- he is talking to an empty chair, or I guess to Augustin when he was still in the other room.  Ok, at least we know that these are the guys having sex in Scene 5, except they think it's Oakland, when it is clearly San Francisco.

Frank calls from the bathroom that he needs a towel, and Paddy mocks him for it.  Yeah, wanting to dry off after a shower, what a loser!  But I guess if you have to criticize everybody all the time, you start grasping at straws fast.

Scene 6: Frank finishes his shower, but he's in another apartment, talking to a woman.  This is probably a Frank lookalike, shown taking a shower to confuse us. He wants to call Ethan but the woman disapproves because Ethan tried to kill him. "He did not!  He just threatend to! Besides, when we were together, you tried to kill me a bunch of times."  Ok, the woman is Frank Lookalike's ex girlfriend.  

Next order of business: the Frank Lookalike is thinking of getting into real estate.  Ex-Girlfriend laughs at him. "You -- somebody like you -- in real estate?  Don't be ridiculous!"  She doesn't explain why it's ridiculous, but I guess everybody just has to mock everything.  "Is there any coffee?"  "What an idiotic question!  Jerk!"  

Scene 7: A guy who wears glasses going to work in a cubicle with a computer. Paddy?  But he looks completely different! His coworker, Owen (Andrew Law), drops by to criticize him.  Seeing that Paddy is on the OK Cupid dating site, he ridicules his choice:  "Wait -- he's a doctor, and you think he'd date an idiot like you? Plus he's a swimmer.  You're too clueless to swim."  He then comes out as straight, with a girlfriend, Bethany. Named characters so far: 10. The Frank Lookalike and his ex have not been named yet, so 12 altogether.

Paddy accepts the date anyway - at the Press Club tonight -- and sends him a winking emoji.  Owen criticizes both the dating venue and the emoji, of course.

Scene 8: Augustin at work, maybe doing set design.  A woman introduces him to Scotty (Tanner Cohen), his assistant for the day. They have fun criticizing the design (aren't you the one who designed it, dude?)

Scene 9: Four suit-types at lunch, complaining that they can't get the wine they got last time.  The waiter recommends something else, "a nice full-bodied red, spicy but easy on the pallete, with notes of fruit and coca" It's so much easier when you don't drink: "Diet Coke, please.  Sure, Pepsi is fine."  

Hey, the waiter is the Frank Lookalike, who wants to go into real estate! He goes to the bar to complain about the suits: "they look like a bunch of filthy dog-f*kers."  Rather harsh, even for a culture where everybody ridicules everything.

Another waiter tries to console him: "Just keep on putting positive energy out into the universe."  When he leaves, Frank Lookalike criticizes him, then asks the bartender for his name.  Bartender: "No. Whenever you sexually harass a new guy, he quits."

Scene 9: Paddy checks his hair in a store window.  A guy inside smiles at him.  He recoils in disgust and moves on to the Polo Club, or whatever it is. His date introduces himself as Benjamin (Matthew Wilkas, left and top photo)  Hey, where are Paddy's friends Richie and Dom from the first scenes?  I thought they were going to be major characters.

Benjamin criticizes Paddy's job in video game development (of course), then asks "are you disease and drug free?"  Is this a date or a physical, Doctor?  But Paddy gets even, criticizing Benjamin's misquoting of Khalil Gibran (a famous poet from the hippie era).  Then he discusses how desperate he is to get laid (bad move, dude).  He was so desperate yesterday that he had a hookup in the park!  Benjamin, looking for romance rather than anonymous encounters, is not pleased.  "This isn't working. Bye!"

Scene 10: Back to Augustin and Scotty flirting while criticizing things.  Wait -- Scotty is flirting with another guy (maybe Augustin's boyfriend Frank)!  They met at Darren and Anthony's Cinco de Mayo party.   They start an encounter right there in the -- stage?  Kissing, and it looks like Augustin is going downtown.

Scene 11:  A guy flirts with Paddy on the bus.  Paddy still has Benjamin's card, so he pretends to be a resident in oncology. The guy introduces himself: Richie, a cosmetologist.  Wait -- then who was Paddy's friend in the first two scenes?

Cut to the Frank Lookalike at work at the fancy restaurant. On his break, he's eating lamb with merguez (lamb sausage).  He offers a bite to a guy off camera, so we'll be surprised by the big reveal -- surprise!  It's Liam, the waiter he criticized/liked earlier. "So, want to grab a drink?" Frank Lookalike asks, "Or we could just go back to your place."  Geez, forward.  Have you spoken two words to this guy?  

Scene 12:  Paddy telling his friend Dom (from scene 1, remember?) that he gave the guy (Richie) the wrong card!  "I was just so angry at that doctor."  Your fault for discussing a public h**kup on a first date. "What about the bus guy?"  "He came on too strong, and he's not my type."  Weren't you desperate to get laid ten minutes ago? 

Paddy heads to the bathroom, and is shocked to see a guy off camera, so we'll be surprised at the big reveal -- someone I don't recognize, but they both agree that it's awkward to be pissing into the same trough. This must be the very late-night bachelor party, and Paddy is the ex-boyfriend.  

Hey, Frank Lookalike is Dom from Scene 1!  He complains that the guy he invited home said no -- the first time that has ever happened. Not true -- the bartender said that Frank Lookalike/Dom tries to have sex with lots of the male waiters, and they always quit.  Paddy complains that he has too many bad  dates. 

Out on the street, after the bachelor party, Paddy looks depressed, and then goes to the club where Richie from the bus works. The end.

Beefcake: Some bare chests.

San Francisco: Some random street scenes.

Number of Characters: Too many to keep track of, and they look different from scene to scene.  And who the heck is the non-Richie in the first scene?  Or was that a time jump?

Update: It was Augustin!  Their photos look alike on the IMDB, and Richie gets second billing, so I figured he must be the second friend.

Talking to Someone Off Camera: A device to be used only occasionally, when the identity of the person will be a big surprise.  Used here all the time.  I'm still mad about Paddy talking to an empty chair, so when Augustin comes in, you think there are three people in the room.

Trick Cuts: Instantaneous cuts between two people doing the same thing, so you think it's the same person. Fooled you, har har.  It's a dirty trick, especially in the first episode where you're trying to keep track of 300 characters.

Criticizing Everything: This was actually fun.  Every time I thought "Such an innocuous statement. They couldn't possibly criticize it," they did!

My Grade:  Not a lot of nostalgia here, and too many tricks. B

Shhh -- I hid some nude guys after the break:

Kelvin and Keefe, Matchmakers: A Cousin Karl Story

As Kelvin waited for Percy at one of the little blue tables outside the Lost Dog Cafe, he couldn't help flashing back to the first time they met, when Jesse hired him to design the church's executive board room.  Kelvin wasn't out to anyone yet, not even to himself, really, and seeing the flashy, unapologetic, loud-and-proud interior designer was a revelation. Percy became his best friend, and his go-to guy for anything about gay history and culture, from the Stonewall Riots to GLAAD Awards.  But today Kelvin had a different kind of request.  He wasn't sure that a guy who came out at age ten could understand.

They chatted about ordinary things, rated a few bulges, and then Kelvin got down to business. "Percy, I had an ulterior motive in inviting you to lunch today.  Remember my Cousin Karl?  You met him at the wedding reception."

"Big guy, black beard, baby face, smile that lights up the whole state?  Sure, he's hard to miss."

"He came out to Keefe and I last night."  

"Wait -- out as gay? Isn't he over 30?"

"36.  But don't look so surprised.  I was 34 when I figured it out, remember, and Karl has been even more sheltered than me.  He's known for a long time, but he thought it was just him.  He didn't know that 'gay' was a thing until he saw Keefe and I kissing one night."

"He's got a lot of catching up to do."

"Karl wants a boyfriend, but he's so soft and sweet, a little kid, really, that we don't trust him on Grindr, or Gay Christian Mingle .  And you're like the gay expert of South Carolina. You belong to every club, you know everybody, and so..."

"So you want me to play matchmaker?  Sure, glad to do it.  Off the top of my head, I can think of four or five candidates.  Let's start with Brett.  He goes to my gym -- built like a bodybuilder, chest for days! He'll be able to appreciate Karl's muscles."

First Date: The Bodybuilder

 Keefe and Kelvin were sitting on the couch in the parlor, kissing, when Percy and Karl’s date knocked on the door.  The Bodybuilder shook their hands (Kelvin forgot his name almost immediately), and Percy tried to hug them both while balancing a large white box.  "I brought tiramisu for dessert. I hope it fits with the menu.  What are we having?"

"We don't know.  Cousin Karl is cooking, and he won't let anyone in the kitchen."

"Tiramisu fits with anything, though," Keefe said.  "I'll bring it in to him." He took the box from Percy's hands and headed back into the house.

More after the break

Schitt's Creek: Quirky small town (in Canada, but don't tell anyone) has gay/bi guys and a lot of beefcake

In the Canadian sitcom Schitt's Creek (2015-20), video magnate Johnny Rose (SCTV alumnus Eugene Levy) loses his fortune to a shady business manager, and he and his former-actress wife Moira and adult children David and Alexis  are forced to move into a cheap hotel in the desolate small town of Schitt's Creek, where they try to adapt to such hardships as sharing a room and making their own beds.

They butt heads with many curious, eccentric, and passive-aggressive smiling-as-they-dump-on-you residents, like Mutt (Tim Rozon), the mayor's son, who lives in a barn and collects compost.

It reminds me a bit of Gilligan's Island, with the castaways trying to survive on a desert island, their plans to escape constantly falling through at the last moment.

Schitt's Creek is so small that it has only one hotel, restaurant, and "general store," and the same six people do everything.  But still, there's a lot going on, and the Roses throw themselves into town life, getting jobs, joining clubs, running for city council, dating -- a lot of dating.  David (Dan Levy) develops a friends-with-benefits relationship with a girl, Stevie (Emily Hampshire), who appears to be the hotel's only employee, and Alexis has a steady stream of boyfriends, like Mutt and  town veterinarian Ted (Dustin Milligan, left).

That's one of the things I like about Schitt's Creek -- it's overloaded with beefcake, hot guys in tight shirts -- or out of tight shirts -- everywhere you look.

The other thing I like is the writing.  The dialogue is witty, sardonic without being bitter.  There is no us vs. them, normal v. hicks or normal v. snobs.  Everyone has foibles, but almost everyone comes across as likeable.



What I don't like is:

1. David states that he is pansexual, and he is played by Dan Levy, who is gay, yet his relationships are exclusively heterosexual until the third season, when his ex-boyfriend Sebastian (Francois Arnaud) rolls into town. 

 Later he and Stevie get into a three-way relationship with Jake (Steve Lund, left).  

More bi/pan after the break

"Modern Family" Episode 5.6: Gloria's crush on Adam Devine, Phil's three-way, and a nude Matt Risch

 

Back in 2014, I was quite adamant that Adam Devine's character on Modern Family, Andy the Manny (male nanny), was homophobic, so I've been reviewing episodes, looking for evidence.  This is his first appearance, in Season 5.6: "The Help."  Ugh!  I hated being called "the help" when I was in high school, working at the Carousel Snack Bar.  I told the boss "I am a human being.  I have feelings.  I am not 'the help.'"

As in all Modern Family Episodes, we have three plots, usually involving a random assortment of family members, interspliced.  I separated them out.

Plot 1: Claire, her husband Phil, and their kids.  Phil's Dad, Frank (Fred Willard), staying with his family because his girlfriend dumped him, being depressed and annoying. They discuss whether he needs a therapist, but Claire's dad Jay (Ed O'Neill) says that he just needs a woman.

"I know a place," he tells Phil.  "Tonight you, me, and Frank are going out on the town." 

 "Fun!  A three-way!" Phil exclaims: a running gag has him saying innocent things that sound sexual, usually homoerotic.   

Cut to the bar.  The men approach two women and say hello. "Not interested!" one exclaims. The other flirts with Frank, so his wingmen scram.

In the morning, Frank tells Phil that he hooked up: "She's downstairs right now.'  Except she turned out to be a sex worker, and he owes her $500. Ok, first of all, you have to make the contract clear, and second, sex workers don't spend the night. They get the job done and go home. 

While they're scrounging to find $500 in cash, Claire returns from yoga class, and wants to know who the woman in the kitchen is.  "The therapist we hired!" Let the misunderstandings begin: "I have always wanted to do what you do. I'd be good at it.  It's basically what I do for the whole neighborhood anyway."  

The sex worker (Peri Gilpin, best known for Frasier) assures Frank that his performance was superlative.  She has a lot of elderly clients who can't even get...um there are kids present...but "any woman would be lucky to have you."  This gives him the confidence to start dating again -- and move out, which is what Phil and Claire wanted all along.

Plot 2: Gay couple Mitchell and Cam are getting married, but they can't decide on anything, so they've asked their flamboyant friend Pepper (Nathan Lane), a professional wedding planner, for help. He comes in with overloaded binders and his flamboyant assistant, Ronaldo. But when they don't like his first idea (a purple color scheme), he goes into a snit, so they have to pretend to like all of his other horrible ideas, like riding in on a unicorn and wearing Willy Wonka outfits. 

Pepper is burnt out from planning 50 gay weddings since they became legal in California, so Ronaldo offers to take over?  Uh-oh, the assistant stealing the job from his boss -- drama.  Of course, they all act like they are cheating on a romantic partner: "I couldn't stop thinking about you.  What happened here yesterday was real!"  Pepper-Ronaldo end up breaking up and reconciling.

Plot 3: Jay, the patriarch of the family, and his wife Gloria, who is actually younger than his adult kids, argue over her habit of firing their infant son's nannies: she feels threatened by other women in the house. Also, their teenage son Manny keeps sexually harassing them. 

At the park, Gloria meets Andy, the manny of her frenemey Joan.  Andy reveals that she is  unfriendly because she's worried that Gloria might steal her husband.  

Gloria is irate: Frenemy's husband is too fat to be attractive.  Not anymore: Andy helped him lose 30 pounds! He also can cook. Enough bragging, dude.  It sounds like you're hitting on Gloria.  But it works -- Gloria decides to steal Andy, but not in a sexual way (well, not overtly sexual; she does get quite chummy as she leads him off)

When Jay and Manny get home, Andy introduces himself as the new manny. Manny: "Am I being replaced?"  No, he's the baby's new male nanny, but "My mission is to make all of your lives happier and healthier." So, are you a nanny or a life coach/personal trainer/dietitian?

No way! Jay yells.  "He's a man!  It's weird!" The aging Baby Boomer Jay thinks that only women are qualified to do childcare, but Gloria has a big crush on him: "He's perfect," she sighs. Manny disapproves, too: how can he sexually harass a guy?  They argue; Gloria storms out of the room.  That's the end of it, right?

The next day, Jay is in the shower.  He forgot to get a towel (isn't there always one hanging in the towel rack?), so he yells for Gloria. But Andy brings it for him, and does the gay discreet-glance-at-his-bulge thing (but in this case, he sees Jay's dick instead of his bulge).  I'm confused: is Adam playing Andy as gay, or do straight guys like looking at dicks, too?    

Andy made a heart-healthy breakfast for Jay and Manny, and afterwards, he suggests jogging.  How about taking care of the baby?  

"Nope," Jay tells him. "My wife overstepped her bounds by hiring you. You're fired."

"I came on too strong, didn't I?  My dad warned me about that when I turned 14." He goes into a story of his dad dying, so he had to be "the man" of the family, and take care of the kids. But that doesn't dissuade Jay and Manny: they want him out.

Gloria returns and starts yelling.  They yell back.  Andy begins a group therapy session that ends with everyone apologizing and promising to do better at communicating their feelings. Cut to the whole family jogging...er, walking fast.

Ok, I get it.  All three of the groups hired "help" in scenarios that looked sexual (or, in Frank's case, were sexual), and turned out to be more "help" than anyone anticipated.

Bonus butt after the break

John Cena: Nude photos of the wrestler, bodybuilder, superhero, and Fred's Dad

 

Like many muscular guys, the wrestler-turned-actor John Cena seems to prefer comedy. But that doesn't keep him from displaying his physique.  He appears naked except for a cloth over his dick while sexing the protagonist in Trainwreck (2015).

Frontal and rear

Beating up Chris Romano in Tour de Pharmacy (2017). Ok, that's another guy's dick, but still, it's a few inches from his face.  That's a good thing, right?

More Cena after the break

Adam Devine's House Party, Episode 3.1: Adam marries a dude. No, it's not Tony Cavalero. With nude Hawaiian dudes.

I'm not a big fan of Adam Devine's House Party, the Comedy Central series spotlighting up-and-coming stand-up comedians.  The two episodes I've reviewed were heterosexist, promoting "all boys like girls and all girls like boys" rhetoric. It's like crashing a party where you weren't invited, so everyone pretends that you're invisible. Plus Adam's persona is authoritarian, self-aggrandizing, and unpleasant.  But he takes his shirt off.

One more try: in Season 3, the party moves to Hawaii, where there's bound to be some muscle guys in Speedos.  In Episode 3.1, Adam marries a dude! No way they can do that without mentioning LGBT people. 

Scene 1: Adam announces that for tonight's episode, he is taking over a resort in Hawaii.  Mary the Hotel Manager says no, he can't, because the space is reserved for a wedding. He'll have to do it tomorrow.  Adam claims that he's the one who reserved the space: he'll be getting married on the show tonight.  Ok, but he'd better get married, or she'll unplug the show on the spot. 

Intro: Beach babe, Adam kissing a girl, accidentally pouring ketchup on his pants. running out of the surf, a disgusting closeup of a girl's bare butt.  Guest comedians: Chris Garcia, Jacob Williams, Megan Gailey

Scene 2: Afternoon.  Darn, everyone is fully clothed except for a big-boobed girl at the drink stand.  Adam reveals to the comedians that he has to get married tonight.  Chris is married already, so it's down to Jacob and Megan.   

The two go off by themselves to discuss it: Jacob is heterosexual, so he's not attracted to guys in general, and Megan is heterosexual but not attracted to Adam at all.  But he's rich, so being his partner might be fun. They call him back: "One of us will marry you.  But you're gonna have to woo us." They act like this will be a forever marriage.  Why not just have a pretend wedding? 

Scene 3: Chris Garcia riffs on how boring soccer is, Hispanic-American culture, and comics who make fun of how their parents talk.  

Scene 4: Jacob is excited about the wedding, and the honeymoon: he has booked them the bridal suite at the hotel.  Hey, when the comedians say "you'll have to woo us," there have to be funny bits where Adam tries to woo them. Ever hear of Chekhov's Gun?

 Adam reveals that he's decided on Megan because she's a girl, and, you know, he is into girls.  

Wait -- Manager Mary is watching, so Jacob and Adam have to act like they're in love. They should kiss.

Adam recoils in disgust at the idea of kissing another dude. He's always hugging guys, pressing foreheads, grabbing butts, even on this show. Here he has a group massage with Jak Knight and Brandon Wardell.  But kissing is another matter entirely.  I would never kiss a girl, no matter what the script said.

Jacob suggests that they move their faces together as if they are kissing, and grab butts.  Mary is satisfied; "They're boyfriends."

Scene 5: Jacob riffs on having sex with his girlfriend, and finishing too soon. I fast-forwarded. 

Scene 6: Manager Mary wants to know where Adam's fiance is.  He shoves Jacob out of the way and explains that they are ex-boyfriends. It's hard to get over him -- "I love cock!"  -- but Adam is with Megan now. She won't kiss him, but Manager Mary is satisfied.

Scene 7: Megan riffs on being attracted to men in boat shoes and the problem of doing female-centered humor.

Scene 8: Blake is performing the Adam-Megan wedding.  When he asks if anyone objects, Jacob comes forward: "We're both heterosexual men, but I need money."  

Adam objects that if he marries Megan, he'll get to have sex. But she is disgusted by the idea, and backs out.  

So it's Jacob.  Blake: "It's freakin' sick (good), Dude.  Love rules. I now pronounce you man and another man, they're both men, men together." 

Jacob and Adam shake hands and walk into the crowd, Adam grimacing in disgust.  At that moment, the real couple arrives.  Manager Mary says "I knew something was up," and pulls the plug.  The end.

Beefcake: Only in the opening shots.

Gay Characters: Never.

My Grade:  This episode, which aired in March 2016, is apparently a riff on same-sex marriage, which was legalized in Hawaii in October 2013, and everywhere in the U.S. in June 2015. Everyone is completely nonchalant about it, which is a plus, but how about having some real gay people at your party, Adam?  And lay off the graphic display of bikini babe butts. C.

Nude Hawaiian dudes after the break