"How do I know if I'm g...."?: A Young Gideon Story





This story features Gideon Gemstone (Skyler Gisondo) of The Righteous Gemstones as a teenager.  All of the subjects of n*de photos are over 18.


“Hey, Bro,” Pontius called, rushing up to Gideon’s locker at the Riverpointe Christian Academy in Charleston. 

“Hey, yourself.”  Gideon was a bit suspicious: his younger brother rarely talked to him at school.  Sometimes he didn’t even accept a ride home, preferring to call one of the Gemstone drivers to avoid being seen with a “glee club nerd.”  An odd insult, since Gideon didn’t belong to Glee Club.

“Are you staying after for gymnastics?”

“No, that’s on Tuesday and Thursday. Why, what do you need?”

“Well, a ride home.”

“Why – the drivers are both busy, and your pogo stick’s in the shop?”

Pontius smiled, either not noticing the dig at his age, or too invested in whatever he wanted to care.  “And  can we stop for pizza on the way?”

This was really suspicious -- Pontius never invited him to go anywhere.  Maybe the age difference was too great for them to really be friends – Gideon was in eleventh grade, with a girlfriend and college plans, while Pontius in eighth grade still played with toys.  

Maybe they didn’t have much in common – Gideon was into gymnastics and acrobatics (he loved tumbling with Uncle Kelvin at the Gemstone Teen Center), while Pontius was into…well, hanging out with his buds and telling dirty jokes.  Or maybe they just didn’t like each other.  He must want a big favor, Gideon thought.

 They climbed into the Lexus that Granddad Eli gave him for his sixteenth birthday and drove down to Famulari’s, the go-to pizza place for all of the Gemstones, probably because the delivery guys didn’t mind driving ten miles out to the Compound.  The moment they sat down, Pontius said, "Ok, here’s the thing. I want to have a sleepover Friday night, and you have to come."

"No way, José! 16-year olds do not go to slumber parties.”

“You used to like them.”

“Sure, and I used to like Battlebots, too. I grew up.”


From his 10th birthday until last year, when he graduated to the high school building at the Academy, Gideon and Pontius hosted sleepovers at least once a month. They each invited two or three friendss, plus their younger brother Abraham by default. 

They spent the night playing video games, watching tv, eating snacks, and bragging about how late they were staying up.  Then they bedded down in the Kid Guest Room, Pontius and Abraham on the top bunk, Gideon and another boy “on the bottom,” and the rest in sleeping bags.   Gideon always took awhile to choose his bed partner: not necessarily his best friend.  Maybe even one of Pontius’s friends, if he was cute. 

How did I know which boys were cute?  Gideon thought, surprised by the memory.  Why did I care?

"We haven't had one for a long time!" Pontus protested.  "And Mom says I can't have one by myself – you have to be there, too."

The waiter came – a rather chunky, sandy-haired guy from Gideon’s Biblical History class – and they ordered their usual bacon-cheeseburger pizza (sometimes Mom and Dad called for something “healthy,” and they had to scour the menu for healthy toppings.  What kind of pizza topping was healthy?).

“What will my friends say if they find out I went to a sleepover with a bunch of eighth grade dorks?  What will my girlfriend say?”  He and Katie had only been dating for three weeks, but Gideon mentioned her every chance he got. “Katie likes lima beans. Katie’s aunt lives in Belgium.  Katie’s favorite Harry Potter character is…”  

"They won't all be dorks," Pontius said.  "How about if you can invite some of your friends. Whoever you want.”

"As if!  My friends are way too cool for sleepovers!”


"Well, maybe not one of your friends, just guys that you like.  You know, want to spend time with, like the guys that Uncle Kelvin hangs out with”

Gideon felt the anger rising.  “I do not want to spend time with guys like that, Jackass!  Uncle Kelvin is gay, and I have a girlfriend!”

Pontius laughed.  “You dummy, no way is Uncle Kelvin a homo!”

“How do you know?”

“Number One, he’s got muscles.  Number Two: he works with kids…”

“You’re an idiot. Gay guys have muscles sometimes, and they can work with kids like anybody else.”

Pontius sneered. “Number Three, he never brings a little fruity friend to the family dinner….”

“Maybe he’s afraid to bring a boyfriend around. Granddad Eli might kick him out of the church.”

“Number Four: He doesn’t live in California,”  Pontius said with a flourish, as if that was a definitive argument.  “Why do you want Uncle Kelvin to be gay so much?  Are you in love with him?  Do you want to, like, hug and kiss?” 

“Dude, that’s my uncle!” Gideon said, disgusted.

“Ok, so if he wasn’t your uncle, you’d be all into him.”  He made pucker sounds. “Oh, Thweetie, your muscles are so big! Kiss me again!”

“You’d better stop talking trash about me if you want me to come to your darn sleepover.” 

“Ok, ok, sorry…Thweetie.”  He giggled. “Now pick two guys that you want to invite. Somebody you want to spend time with.”

“Someone you want to spend time with” made sense to Gideon.  Maybe a guy who was a little standoffish at  school, or constantly involved with his own clique.  This could be his chance to break through and make a friend.


"Ok, let’s go for it. For my first boy I pick Derek from Gemstone Teen Time.”  A tall, blond 10th grader with a round angelic face.  For some reason he went to public school, not the Academy.  When he got the lead in the drama club production of Oklahoma last fall, Gideon made his Mom and Dad and brothers all go to see him, but they didn’t hang out afterwards. 

"No problemo.  Derek and me are tight."  He paused.  "So...who's the second boy?"


More after the break.  Caution: Explicit

Searching for Nate Stone through pastors, pole vaulters, porn stars, photographers, and a plethora of penises


When I was researching the Disney Channel teencom Bunk'd, I checked for nude photos of the adult cast members, and came across Nate Stone, who played Timmy: he moved out of the camp to live in the woods during Seasons 1-2.  

Living in the woods, he must be a counselor.  So I searched for "Nate Stone" and "nude" and found a lot of photos.








A lot of photos, apparently all from Nate's OnlyFans page.







Turns out that Timmy is not an adult, he's one of the campers.  At the end of Season 2, he is adopted by the family of his friend Doug (Owen Atlas, left). 

As of this writing, Owen Atlas is 16 years old. The Bunk'd Nate Stone couldn't be more than a year or two older, say 17 or 18.

The guy in the OnlyFans photos must be another Nate Stone.

But which one?  There are dozens with social media profiles, even if you exclude "Nathans."


1. A graduate of the University of Washington who devotes his life to starting new churches.

2. A "part-time mature male model" (left)

3. A photographer from Oahu.

4. A heterosexual porn performer known for Bed Sharers

5. A guy from Indiana who works for Rolls Royce.


6. A lacrosse player at Brevard College in North Carolina, right.

7. A hockey player at Gustavus Adolphus College in Minnesota

8. A swim coach at Benildes-St. Margaret Catholic High School in Minnesota.





More Nates after the break

"This F*king Town": This f*king gay-free Hollywood. But I included some celebs that I hooked up with...I mean met.

 


Whilc looking at Tony Cavalero's work on the IMDB,  I found This Fucking Town, a TV short about "actors looking for love and work in L.A."   When I lived in West Hollywood, about half my friends were "actors looking for love and work" so I tried to check it out.  But it didn't seem to exist.  Tubi and Roku advertised it, but "content isn't available."  A rave revew made it sound like an entire web series, not just a short, but the links provided led to "content unavailable."

Finally I found it as a movie on Amazon Prime, and rented it out of sheer frustration. 

It starts out ok, with Mark (Michael Mark Friedman) flexing and Jeremy (Gregory Hoyt, left) dancing in his underwear, displaying a sizeable bulge. They meet up.  

Heading to a party, Jeremy is worried meeting someone new: they always dump him the moment they discover that he has a huge penis.  Really?  





At the party, Jeremy runs into his ex, Caitlin, who thinks all actors are pathetic losers.  She took a witchcraft class and put a spell on him, to ensure that he will never find work (conicidentally, Tony Cavalero's wife Annie is a magic practitioner).  











Jeremy sneers that her new guy, Brett (Tony Cavalero), is an actor, too, but Caitlin counters that he's a personal trainer.  "So you hold people's feet while they do sit-ups!".  Brett stomps off.

That's all for Tony: one word.  

Then the movie turns into a soap opera about heterosexual relationships, with six lengthy kissing scenes amid discussions of auditions and roles.  No more beefcake, and no LGBT people exist. Ugh!






Believe me, life in West Hollywood was a lot more fun than this short/ web series/ movie suggests. Gay men definitely existed.  And celebrities.  Ten days after I arrived, I was having lunch with Michael J. Fox.

More after the break. Caution: Explicit.

Matthew William Bishop: Leatherman, muscleman, actor, LGBTQ advocate. With nude bodybuilder bonus.

 


If you saw this guy standing outside a brownstone in New York, would you 

a) Run away screaming; 

b) ask for his phone number;

c) just drop to your knees.









How about now? 

He's Matthew William Bishop, who gave up a career in corporate public relations in 2021, when the acting bug bit.  His Some Kind of Wonderful, about four gay guy looking for love in Palm Springs, won four awards for Best LGBTQ Film. 

Then he hit the big time playing the silent supernatural Big Daddy, a symbol of AIDs in American Horror Story, NYC. (Set during the first years of the AIDS epidemic.)

Matthew is also a bodybuilder, obviously. He took first place at the 2023 Miami Muscle Beach Contest in the NPC Open Super Heavyweight Category.





And a philanthropist, devoted to recovery, AIDS awareness, and LGBTQ advocacy.  10% of the sales of this "Make the Deposits" shirt go to the New York LGBTQ Community Center, so it's probably not dirty.








This isn't supposed to be dirty, either, although a lot of the comments on his Instagram page were from people willing to "choke on it."












What they want to choke on, from his fitness model days.


More of "it" after the break

Michael Welch: Flying starships, fighting zombies, getting baked, showing his chest. With some dick pics

 



You probably remember Michael Welch from the Twilight saga, about a girl torn between vampire and werewolf boyfriends (Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner).  He plays a human who has an unrequited crush on her.









Michael had sharp features and striking eyes that make him look angelic, demonic, or alien, so he was often cast as a  gay-vague outsider, even if his characters sometimes experienced unrequited heterosexual passions.

He began his acting career at the age of 10 in Star Trek: Insurrection (1998)  as Artim, a guy from a non-technological planet who bonds with the android Data.  performance won him a Young Artist Award.

Next came a series of paranormal and science fiction roles, including a clone of Colonel Jack O'Neill (Richard Dean Anderson) who just wants to be a normal teenager, on Stargate SG-1.  


He guest-starred in a number of sitcoms and dramatic series, including a memorable role as a new neighbor who falls for the brainy Malcolm in Malcolm in the Middle.

On Joan of Arcadia (2003-2005), Michael plays Luke Girardi, genius brother of the girl who talks to God,  He has a homoromantic buddy-bond with his best friend Friedman (Aaron Himmelstein), although he's also girl-crazy.

In The United States of Leland (2003), his mentally-challenged Ryan is murdered by classmate Leland, Ryan Gosling, who is dating his sister.


The Grind 
(2009) is about a grifter, Luke (C. Thomas Howell), who depends on his friends Josh and Courtney (Michael, Tanya Allen) to get him out of a jam. They start a sleazy website, but things go sour, and Luke has to rescue them from the Mexican mafia.

In Lost Dream (2009), college student Perry (Michael) falls for nihilistic free-spirit Giovanni (Shaun Sipos), who is involved in risky sex, drugs, and games of Russian roulette.  He must save Gio before it's too late.


As we often find, teenage gay-subtext roles give way to a thoroughly heteronormative adulthood.  Hansel and Gretel Get Baked, 2013, about a witch who lures teenagers into her house and drugs them with marijuana before literally baking them for dinner.  

More after the break

"Dashing in December": Campy Christmas romcom with gay guys and a ranch that needs saving. Plus Neil Patrick Harris's butt


I was recommended Dashing in December, a Christmas romcom advertised on Amazon Prime as a tv series, for some reason.  The blurb gives the standard plotline: Big City careers are stupid, go home for Christmas and find love.  The twist: Big City is a guy!  It will take about 10 minutes of screen time for the big reveal: he's gay!

Scene 1: Establishing shot of NYC.  Big, Important Financial Planner Wyatt (Peter Porte) is at an office Christmas party, miserable amid the talk of husbands and wives.  He and Lindsey broke up in October, so he'll be alone!  At Christmas! Hey, I thought Wyatt was gay.  Has he not figured it out yet, or is Lindsey a made-up girlfriend? 

"What went wrong?" the Big Boss wants to know. "I thought you and Lindsey were perfect for each other."  So they've met?  Maybe Lindsey is a beard? Or maybe he's bi?

 "The nonstop trips to the Cape, the five-star restaurants every night. I want someone with simple, down-home tases."  Should have thought of that before you moved to the Big City, Dude. 

More plot: this is the first Christmas since Dad passed away, so Mom is depressed, so he's going back to the ranch in Colorado.  10,000 to one he finds love there.


Hey, the hot bartender (Eric Meroño, left) grins at Wyatt!  If you came in cold, this would be your first clue that Wyatt might not be straight, but I'll bet not one viewer in 100 catches it

Scene 2: Establishing shot of a beautiful ranch in Colorado. Wyatt's Mom brings tea to her workers: a girl and Heath (Juan Pablo de Pace, below).  She announces that Wyatt is coming home for Christmas, for the first time in five years.  Heath has only been working there for three years, so they've never met, but the girl is his High School Girlfriend. Whoa, Wyatt really racks up the babes.  

"Won't your husband, who is out of the country working for Doctors Without Borders, be jealous of your ex-boyfriend visiting?" Heath asks. 

High School Girlfriend, grinning: "I...don't...think so."  Her certainty is another clue.

Heath leaves, and High School Girlfriend interrogates Mom: "Heath doesn't know about Wyatt?" 

 "Well, I couldn't just tell him, could I?"  Tell him what, Mom?  What about your son is such a problem that you're afraid to tell your employee about it?

"Well, does Wyatt know about Heath?"  

"What could I say: you guys are both gay?"  The big reveal!   Why all the circumlocution and misdirection?  Probably the same rationale as not revealing that a tv character is gay until Season 2: you want the viewers to become invested in the story first, so they won't run away in homophobic horror. 

Wait -- Ranch Hand Heath is gay, too?  So what's the problem? This will be a very short romcom. Wyatt's plane lands, sparks fly, mistletoe, the end.


Scene 3: 
 Heath giving two moms and two kids (a lesbian couple?) a tour of Santa's Workshop. By horse-drawn carriage, not sleigh: there's no snow on the ground. 

Meanwhile, Wyatt arrives. pulls out his luggage, and grimaces. Yuck, back at the place I found so oppressive as growing up!   Mom hugs him and immediately envisions him having kids. Geez, Lady, wait until he's in the house before pressuring him to get married and have kids. 

Wait -- if Wyatt is gay, what's up with the ex-girlfriend Lindsey?  Mom references them with he/him pronouns -- yep, he was a guy with a girl's name, a misdirection to fool us before the big reveal.  Or Wyatt has a thing for gender-bending names: his High School Girlfriend is named Blake.   

Mom points out Heath: "He keeps the place going."  Wyat notices the lack of customers for Santa's Village, and criticizes him for not doing his job.  Yeah, Heath, get busy and make with the snowfall!


Scene 4:
 Heath and High School Girlfriend are heading to dinner, and to meet Wyatt.  Heath worries that he will be homophobic, but she reassures him: that won't be a problem.  So the guy who escaped Colorado, with its long history of homophobic legislation, for the freedom of a gay mecca, is homophobic?  

At dinner, Wyatt snipes at Heath (left), misnames him Hank, criticizes the terrible wine he brought, and ignores him to chat up High School Girlfriend. This isn't going well, but then neither of the guys knows that the other is gay.  


More misdirection after the break

"Wellmania" Episode 1.5: Gaz cheats on his boyfriend, Chad shows his dick, and Liv has yet another meltdown


The 8-episode comedy/drama Wellmania, 2023, stars Celeste Barber as Liv Healy, a New York Times food writer who returns to her home town of Sydney to cover a food event and discovers that her dangerously high cholesterol level prevents her from getting a green card to return to the U.S.  She must lower it to continue her career.  

The premise and episode descriptions on Netflix give you no hint of gay representation, but according to Wikipedia, Liv's brother Gaz (Lachlan Buchanan) is gay, and appears with his fiancé Dalbert Tan  (Remy Hii) in every episode. 


Left: Remy Hii.

Episode 1.2 says that Liv iefuses to attend the wedding.  I checked the scene: it has nothing to do with homophobia.  She just doesn't like the family thinking of her as a joke.  I reviewed Episode 1.5, "Hall of Mirrors."

Scene 1: Mom is retiring, so Liv gives a depressed speech: "You can have your colon cleansed and do your 450,000 steps a day, but it doesn't matter, because we're all going to die."  Gaz and Dalbert tell her to shut up and stop ruining Mom's day.

So she takes a bite out of the cake before it's cut and asks for more booze.

Mom's dining companion has heard that Gaz is getting married, and asks who the "lucky lady" is.  Mom doesn't divulge much, does she.  "Me, because we're homosexuals."  "So are my favorite patients!  They have such fascinating sexual injuries." Jerk


Uh-oh, Gaz gets a text from someone named Sebastian, lies that he has a lot of clients to see, leaves.  Cheating on the boyfriend?  

Liz runs into the bathroom to throw up.  Mom wants to know why she keeps doing such unhealthy things.  "You can't have two perfect children."  Gaz is perfect?  Just wait...

Editor Valerie call.  Everyone loves her Camille article. "It was gutsy!  It was real!" She wants Liv in New York to "be the third judge in the show," but Liv is trapped in Australia. 

From here there are three plotlines.  I'll review each separately.


Liv's Story
: Liv accosts Chad, Guy Edmonds,  the American counsul, while he's in the men's room. She needs a new doctor to bribe to say her cholesterol level is ok, so she can get her green card back and return to New York -- she sort of attacked the old one, Dr. Singh. Couldn't you go on a tourist visa if you just want to be the judge on the show?

"It's a once in a lifetime opportunity.  Haven't you ever had a dream?"  While she is begging, she accidentally scatters paper towels, and gets on her knees to pick them up just as another man comes in.  "It's not what it looks like."  "No, it's worse," Chad retorts.



Chad's penis after the break.  Caution: Explicit.