The 8-episode comedy/drama Wellmania, 2023, stars Celeste Barber as Liv Healy, a New York Times food writer who returns to her home town of Sydney to cover a food event and discovers that her dangerously high cholesterol level prevents her from getting a green card to return to the U.S. She must lower it to continue her career.
The premise and episode descriptions on Netflix give you no hint of gay representation, but according to Wikipedia, Liv's brother Gaz (Lachlan Buchanan) is gay, and appears with his fiancé Dalbert Tan (Remy Hii) in every episode.
Left: Remy Hii.
Episode 1.2 says that Liv iefuses to attend the wedding. I checked the scene: it has nothing to do with homophobia. She just doesn't like the family thinking of her as a joke. I reviewed Episode 1.5, "Hall of Mirrors."
Scene 1: Mom is retiring, so Liv gives a depressed speech: "You can have your colon cleansed and do your 450,000 steps a day, but it doesn't matter, because we're all going to die." Gaz and Dalbert tell her to shut up and stop ruining Mom's day.
So she takes a bite out of the cake before it's cut and asks for more booze.
Mom's dining companion has heard that Gaz is getting married, and asks who the "lucky lady" is. Mom doesn't divulge much, does she. "Me, because we're homosexuals." "So are my favorite patients! They have such fascinating sexual injuries." Jerk
Uh-oh, Gaz gets a text from someone named Sebastian, lies that he has a lot of clients to see, leaves. Cheating on the boyfriend?
Liz runs into the bathroom to throw up. Mom wants to know why she keeps doing such unhealthy things. "You can't have two perfect children." Gaz is perfect? Just wait...
Editor Valerie call. Everyone loves her Camille article. "It was gutsy! It was real!" She wants Liv in New York to "be the third judge in the show," but Liv is trapped in Australia.
From here there are three plotlines. I'll review each separately.
Liv's Story: Liv accosts Chad, Guy Edmonds, the American counsul, while he's in the men's room. She needs a new doctor to bribe to say her cholesterol level is ok, so she can get her green card back and return to New York -- she sort of attacked the old one, Dr. Singh. Couldn't you go on a tourist visa if you just want to be the judge on the show?
"It's a once in a lifetime opportunity. Haven't you ever had a dream?" While she is begging, she accidentally scatters paper towels, and gets on her knees to pick them up just as another man comes in. "It's not what it looks like." "No, it's worse," Chad retorts.
Chad's penis after the break. Caution: Explicit.
Next Liv accosts Dr. Singh, the original consulate doctor, at her country-western dance class, apologizes, and asks her to ok her green card application. "Nope, you are one of the most self-obsessed, entitled people I have ever encountered." Liv is about to attack again, when the dance instructor boots her.
Walking home morosely, she encounters a street preacher, but doesn't want to find Jesus: she wants "sensible solutions." Why not a psychic?
In the psychic's house, she asks if there's a ghost or spirit or Viking who can get her out of Australia. The psychic consults a deck of animal cards: the oyster, the swan, the buffalo. In other words, "you're where you need to be. Don't leave." Also she gets tea with a microdose of LSD and starts tripping.
Evie calls: she's in Luna Park, the amusement park: something terrible has happened, but don't call her Mum. Liv grabs Bruno Sanches, the guy she flirted with in the last episode, and rushes over, still high. Uh-oh, Evie is in the Hall of Mirrors. You can guess where this is going.
The horrible thing, by the way, is being ditched by her friends at the park.
Their heart-to-heart convinces Liv to try again with Dr. Singh: "I know I fucked up, but part of being an adult is taking responsibility. She brings flowers and a blue-ray of Good Will Hunting. Dr. Singh agrees to do a new evaluation, as long as she gets a psychiatric exam first.
Dougie's Story: Dougie, Johnny Carr, and his wife are the subject of Liv's Camille article, basically revealing that he's terrible in bed.
They're trying on outfits for Gaz's wedding. She suggests a flashy silvery suit: "You used to wear cool clothes when we first met," and then, sotto voce, "You used to do a lot of stuff when we first met." He hears her, and pulls her into the dressing room for sex.
They are caught by the security guard: "I don't want to yuck on your yum, but it's a OH&S -- Work Health and Safety -- issue."
The cops arrive. The couple argues: "This is what you wanted, right?" "What, sex? Yeah, it would be nice to get it once in a while, instead of you jerking off and ignoring me." Turns out that all of Sydney has read Liv's article, including the security guard and the cops.
At home, they continue to argue: "I can't remember the last time we had sex." They problem is, Denny is worried about growing older, going bald, and not being attractive anymore. But she likes bald men. They start doing stuff.
Gaz's Story: Gaz looks through the sexy photos of Sebastian from when they were dating. He shows up, and they have lunch -- but no avocado toast, har har. The ex congratulates him on his nuptuals -- "you deserve better than me" -- but their hands accidentally touch -- sparks!
Nope, Gaz just wants to clear the air after the bad breakup and be friends again.
But...a friendly hug leads to kissing and grinding and...
We cut to Gaz coming home, and Denton asking "How was it?" Ulp, how was what? "Your day, of course." Why don't you just tell him that you had lunch with your ex, instead of starting out your marriage with a lie? "It was fine." They hug. The end.
Beefcake: None.
Gay Characters: Only in the C Plot.
Despicable Characters: Growing up with American sitcoms, I still sort of expect tv characters to have an inner niceness, but Liv is rather nasty.
Cheating: Did Gaz cheat or not? Why leave the question in the air?
Update: Gaz comes clean in Episode 1.7, an hour before the wedding. Ulp.
My Grade: C+
Jimmy Cavaretta: Trapeze artist, Dating Game contestant, Playgirl model.
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