Showing posts with label bulge. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bulge. Show all posts

"This F*king Town": This f*king gay-free Hollywood. But I included some celebs that I hooked up with...I mean met.

 


Whilc looking at Tony Cavalero's work on the IMDB,  I found This Fucking Town, a TV short about "actors looking for love and work in L.A."   When I lived in West Hollywood, about half my friends were "actors looking for love and work" so I tried to check it out.  But it didn't seem to exist.  Tubi and Roku advertised it, but "content isn't available."  A rave revew made it sound like an entire web series, not just a short, but the links provided led to "content unavailable."

Finally I found it as a movie on Amazon Prime, and rented it out of sheer frustration. 

It starts out ok, with Mark (Michael Mark Friedman) flexing and Jeremy (Gregory Hoyt, left) dancing in his underwear, displaying a sizeable bulge. They meet up.  

Heading to a party, Jeremy is worried meeting someone new: they always dump him the moment they discover that he has a huge penis.  Really?  





At the party, Jeremy runs into his ex, Caitlin, who thinks all actors are pathetic losers.  She took a witchcraft class and put a spell on him, to ensure that he will never find work (conicidentally, Tony Cavalero's wife Annie is a magic practitioner).  











Jeremy sneers that her new guy, Brett (Tony Cavalero), is an actor, too, but Caitlin counters that he's a personal trainer.  "So you hold people's feet while they do sit-ups!".  Brett stomps off.

That's all for Tony: one word.  

Then the movie turns into a soap opera about heterosexual relationships, with six lengthy kissing scenes amid discussions of auditions and roles.  No more beefcake, and no LGBT people exist. Ugh!






Believe me, life in West Hollywood was a lot more fun than this short/ web series/ movie suggests. Gay men definitely existed.  And celebrities.  Ten days after I arrived, I was having lunch with Michael J. Fox.

More after the break. Caution: Explicit.

Julian Lerner: Six-pack abs, some costars' bulges and dicks, and a lot of premiere parties for movies he wasn't in.


I stumbled upon Julian Lerner while researching someone else.  I don't know who he is, but anyone with abs like that deserves a profile. 








But I don't profile singers.  Let's see some acting roles.







He's in Disney's Descendants: Rise of the Red,  a 2024 movie in which Red, the teenage daughter of the Queen of Hearts from Alice in Wonderland, and Chloe,the  teenage daughter of her bitter enemy Cinderella, go back in time to meet their mothers as teenagers, to forestall their life-long feud. 

It also stars:






1. Joshua Colley., left, as Captain Hook's son.  I thought Captain Hook was gay. Ki must be adopted.

2. Peder Lindell as Morgana Le Fay's son.






3. Paolo Montalban, bulging left, as King Charming -- Prince Charming after he inherited the throne, get it?  I always thought that was a description, not his actual name.

4. Levin Valyali as the middle-aged Aladdin.

5. Kabir Bery as the teen Aladdin

6. Leonardo Nam as the Mad Hatter's son.  Come on, that guy was too looney to establish a permanent romantic relationship.

7. Anthony Pyatt as the teenage Hades.  



Wait, Julian Lerner isn't in this.  Why is he getting photographed on the red carpet?

He wasn't in in Percy Jackson and Olympians, either, regardless of what Getty Images says.

More after the break

Hank Strong: Bodybuilder, firefighter, enforcer, leatherman, gay daddy



The Brooklyn-born Hank Strong (Henry Akinsaya) graduated from Xaverian Brothers High School in Westfield, Massachustts in 1998, then studied pre-law at NYU.  








He competed in some amateur bodybuilding competitions, worked as a bodyguard, and did some modeling where he had to show his abs.  

His acting career began in 2018, when he was cast as Lunkhead, enforcer for the villain Zachary Trumble. in an episode of Gotham (2018).   

Hank moved on to play more enforcers, bodybuilders, and scowling musclemen, notably, the fighter Iron Long on Ray Donovan.
 


He appeared in two episodes of Godfather of Harlem as Big Dick Buster. Crime lord Bumpy Johnson, a real figure from the 1960s, keeps "Big Dick" on retainer to rape men who rape black women.


 




As a firefighter in The King of Staten Island, he takes his clothes off, of course, to bond with Pete Davidson.







In 2020, Hank played Jericho, a member of Kelvin's God Squad in Righteous Gemstones Season 2. When they threaten Keefe, he defends himself by swatting Jericho's nipple.  (Actually a courageous act, since Jericho is nearly a foot taller and 100 pounds heavier than Keefe).


More Hank after the break

Aaron Goldenberg: Former fundamentalist, Cousin Karl's boyfriend, Mean Gay. With some underwear bulges.

 


Aaron Goldenberg is an Atlanta based comedian with 41.000 followers on Facebook, 294,000,  on Instagram, and 1.2 million on Tiktok. 











He is best known for his series of "Mean Gays" videos with Jake Jonez: they make snarky comments at your wedding, your baby shower, by the pool, at your dinner party. The "hookup" video, where the Mean Gays invite you over for "some fun" and discover that you're a little older and huskier than your profile photo, has gone viral, with over 4 million views on Twitter and Tiktok.

Well, we've all been there.

The Mean Gays went national in 2024 when they "invaded," or rather hosted, the Razzies, the annual awards for the worst movies and actors of the year.





Aaron also riffs, or rather comments, on his fundamentalist childhood -- hiding in plain sight, parents in denial, friends saying "Hate the sin but love the sinner," coming out to his pastor.  It did not go well.














Aaron has 21 acting and 9 writing credits on the IMBD, beginning in his fundamentalist days with the short "Witnesscylin," about a drug that can help you win souls.  He has played Confused Bellhop in Burn Notice, Emaciated Vampire in So Dark, and the Host of Rap Shit.













He has a scene in Season 3 of The Righteous Gemstones, as Percy the Interior Designer, who is working on the siblings' new executive board room.  Kelvin is nice to him,so I interpreted this as an attempt to form social connections with other LGBT people. 

I was so impressed with Percy that I used him in four fan stories: he has a date with Kelvin during the breakup with Keefe; attends their commitment ceremony; and finally starts dating Cousin Karl Montgomery.  There's even an explicit story about their first night together.

More Percy..um, I mean Aaron..after the break

Skyler's Hot/Hung, Photos, Part 3: Basketball, beach boys, wrestling, giving a guy his leg


This is a collection of cute/cool or hot/humorous photos of  Skyler Gisondo, star of The Santa Clarita Diet and The Righteous Gemstones, and Jimmy Olson in the upcoming Superman: Legacy. As far as I know, he's over 18 in all of them.  He doesn't have any verifiable nude photos online, but some of his friends do, and there are some interesting chatroom and hookup app possibilities.

1. Why is Skyler the only one with his shirt off?




2. "Homie wouldn't help you put sunscreen on my back."  

3. Why not?  Is the dude homophobic, or does he want you to lie on your back so he can see your abs?



4. Obviously they've been wrestling.  I have absolutely no idea what else they could be doing that leaves them on the floor, out of breath.








5. But we're not playing shirts vs. skins, buddy.










6. I dig the lesbian haircut, Sky Baby, but your sweater shrank in the wash.
















More ginormous Gisondo after the break.  Warning: Explicit

Arthur Napiontek: Comedian, model, geographer, heterosexist man-candy

 


In Pineapple Express (2008),  mild-mannered process server Dale (Seth Rogen), his dealer (James Franco), and their supplier (Danny McBride) must flee from thugs trying to kill them. At one point Dale goes to the high school to tell his underage girlfriend that he won't be able to have dinner her parents, because of that fleeing thing.

But then a hot guy named Clark (Arthur Napiontek) approaches.  She praises his performance in drama class.  He returns the gym shorts that she left in his car when they worked out last week, assures Dale that he will protect her in college next year, and heads out to home economics class: "It's time to suck today's dick!"   Obviously gay, but Dale is still jealous and agrees to go to the dinner after all. 


I'm not sure if the phrase "It's time to suck today's dick" is gay-positive or homophobic.


This was Art Napiontek's first major movie role.  Although the 21 year old was cast for his comedic talent, not his physique, he took his clothes off in The Brotherhood V (2009), one of those David DeCouteau movies where straight guys bond in their underwear.  









Oddly, most of his later movie and tv roles do not involve flexing.  He did manage to take his clothes off for a gig on Conan (the talk show, not the Barbarian), but otherwise he has played a series of fully-clothed frat boys and hot guys, usually in comedies. 

Occasionally with gay content but usually not: Looking is a gay-themed series, but Boys from the Bar (2011) is about straight bartenders in a gay bar who just want to watch the game, and Switch Hitter (2015) is not about bisexuals,


In real life, Art has a wife and child and posts about how much he likes vaginas, so I'll assume that he's heterosexual. This photo spread in OK Magazine assumes that only ladies are interested in "Man Candy." 












More Arthur after the break

Agent Elvis: McConaughey as the King, Cavalero as a drug dealer with a bulge, and Gary Coleman as a dick with a dick


 Agent Elvis
 (2023) features Elvis Presley (Matthew McConaughey) interacting with some of the real people and events of the 1960s, like Timothy Leary, Howard Hughes, and the Rolling Stones concert at Altamont, but as a secret agent, working for the mysterious Commander (Don Cheadle).  Episode 1.3 has a Tony Cavalero sighting.






While filming A Change of Habit (1969), Elvis hears about the Moon Landing, and, upset that he's not going, decides to take out his frustration on some drug dealers.   His assistant Bobby Ray (Johnny Knoxville) tells him that Flyboy (Tony Cavalero), who hangs out in the studio parking lot, selling maps to movie stars' homes, actually sells cocaine.   His handler tells him that they still have scenes to shoot, but he rushes down to the parking lot.


Why is Flyboy dressed as a pimp to sell cocaine?  He explains that drug dealing and pimping have an intersecting clientele. 

Who is his cocaine supplier?  Flyboy doesn't want to say, because "snitches get stitches," so Elvis steals his clothes, ties him up in the back seat of his car, and sics his ape companion, Scatter, on him.  Faced with having his head bit off, Flyboy tells him.  


With Flyboy trapped in the trunk, Elvis enters a sleazy apartment building.  His handler appears again, ordering him to get back to the studio to film the remaining scenes. Besides, taking down drug dealers won't get him on the Moon Mission: "No matter what you do, it's not going to turn you into an astronaut." 

Elvis doesn't listen: he beats up the drug wholesaler and his henchmen, but Scatter kills them before they can tell him about the big cocaine shipment coming in.

More after the break

Gemstones Episode 2.3, Continued: The darkness of roller coasters, hookups, club bulges, and apples. With lots of nude musclemen

 


Previous:  Episode 2.3: Kelvin topples, Keefe cuddles, and Titus is caged.  With bonus semen loads.  

We're not finished with Kelvin's descent into the Darkness, but first an interlude with Eli answering some questions about his past.  

Eli's Past: Gideon is clearing out stuff, in preparation for moving into Roy Gemstone's old house on the estate, when he comes across a suitcase full of Eli's wrestling memorabilia.  Plus some newspaper articles about Glendon Marsh, Junior's father, who gave Eli a job as a loan enforcer. He had a whole crime syndicate; he ordered the murders of some police officers who were snooping around -- like Thaniel Block!  So maybe Eli didn't just break thumbs -- maybe he and Junior were  full-fledged hit men!

Jesse concludes that Eli brought Junior to town to kill Thaniel!  He rushes to tell Judy.  

While they are talking, Judy's husband BJ comes in with even more evidence: He was out rollerblading in the amusement park on the estate, and came across Eli riding the rollercoaster by himself, over and over.  (wait -- don't you need someone to turn it and off for you?).

"Funny -- Daddy always hated that rollercoaster," Judy muses.  Maybe he's using it to work himself into a murderous frenzy, so he can kill more people!

The Amusement Park: Jesse and Judy go to the park to investigate. Suddenly Kelvin appears, having tracked them down (or BJ told him where they were).

Notice that he's trying to dilute the raw homoerotic power of his usual outfits.  He still wears a power-inducing lion t-shirt and a club-bulge (or is that his real package?), but he's hiding it with a granny sweater and a cap.  

And what's with the wedding ring?  It's been a few days since the dressing room scene. Did he and Keefe solve the "buddies or boyfriends" dilemma by getting married?

Kelvin pocketed Eli's cell phone after "grow up" speech, so they can search it for clues.  After a bit where they try to think of the passcode -- it's Eli's birthday, but when is his birthday? --they find a text to Martin from the night of the murders: "Went out with Junior. Things went sideways. Need your help here."  Then "Thanks for cleaning up my mess." Uh-oh. proof positive!



A Symbolic Castration:
The siblings confront Eli, who tells them what really happened on the night of the murders: he and Junior go bowling. Four ladies sitting beneath a "Hot Snacks" sign spread their legs,  Junior picks the one with the biggest breasts, and Eli picks the Asian.  She takes him back to her place and purrs, growls, smooches at him, takes off things -- why did she go bowling dressed in an evening gown that looks like it should be worn to the Academy Awards?

Eli is enthusiastic about hooking up, but for some reason he decides to go to the bathroom and shave off his pubic hair first. Dude, a lady is waiting with her legs spread.  Isn't that, like, a heterosexual mating signal?   He accidentally cuts himself on the testicle, starts bleeding, and calls Martin to help.  So, are you going to see her again?

In the Medieval Arthurian epics written by Chrétien de Troyes and others; the Fisher King suffers from a wound in his groin or hip, symbols for his genitals, often as punishment for sexual infidelity.  As a result, he is impotent, and his land is infertile.  Here Eli suffers from a symbolic castration, maybe as punishment for "two-timing" Aimee-Leigh: in this universe, true love lasts forever, even behind the grave, and betraying that love is worse than murder: "Why couldn't you have just killed someone?" Kelvin yells.  

The siblings stomp out.



"I will do the coming": 
It's time for homoerotic shirtless Bible study.  Kelvin begins with a reference to Eli: "The world is full of people who will fail you, betray you, let you down."

Muscleman Titus refuses to sit crosslegged with the others, or even "take a knee."  Gay joke: Keefe explains that Kelvin meant "get on your knees."  He's an expert on being on his knees, as we will discover in Episode 2.6 .   

Titus has been in the steam showers with Kelvin and Keefe. I wonder if his closeness to the Messiah’s cock makes him feel privileged, free to defy orders.  But next he goes too far:  he doesn't have time "to sit around for story time like a fucking toddler. » Kelvin hits the roof.  Wait -- doesn't Titus believe that the Bible is the Word of God?  If some non-religious guys were drawn in by the homoeroticism, and some straight guys were drawn in by the fundamentalism, we might have a problem.

Interpreting Titus' back-talk as a formal challenge to his authority, Kelvin tells the men to put on their formal robes -- shiny black, but still displaying their chests and abs -- and gather for judgement.  Titus tries to smooth things over, but the increasingly unstable cult leader screams "I am the leader!  I am the alpha, not you!" before challenging Titus to carry a heavy stone cross twenty feet. If he succeeds, Kelvin will step down. 


Titus is swayed by the promise of taking an inside-the-house bed instead of sleeping in a yurt, so he tries -- and fails.  Struggling and screaming "No, no!", the "traitor" is placed in a tiger cage to serve a seven-day sentence.  Involuntary confinement in a tiny cage where he can't even stand up? In the hot South Carolina sun?  That is brutal, Kelv Baby!  Not to mention a felony.  You've gone full-on Darth Vader.

 Titus yells: "Destruction will come unto thee, and I will do the coming!"  

Kelvin (grinning): "That's nasty."

This is the third reference to jizz this season.  Anyone want to write a scholarly article?

God Squad Wannabes after the break

Peter Kaasa: The hottest man in professional wrestling. With bonus nude wrestlers




The Greco-Roman wrestling of American high schools and colleges, the masked lucha libre of Latin American countries,  and performance-art professional wrestling have one thing in common:

Those blatant bulges in the wrestling singlets. 

Peter Kaasa has been wrestling -- and bulging  -- since high school. 






 

He was born in James Island, a suburb of Charleston, South Carolina, and received a degree in Exercise Science from the College of Charleston in 2008.  Along the way, he excelled not only in wrestling, but in gymnastics, surfing, and Brazilian jiu-gitsu. Finally he decided to train at the prestigious Funking Wrestling Academy in Ocala, Florida. 



In 2012, Peter began pro wrestling as a heel character, Peter Kaasanova (soon changed back to Kaasa).  Less than a year later, he won the TSW Heavyweight Championship.






His professional wrestling career lasted from 2012 to 2017, but during those years he was very busy, competing in WrestleForce, America's Most Liked Wrestling, Dragon Gate, and Evolve.  He drew a huge following, even becoming the subject of fan art and fiction.













 He was named the "The Hottest Man in Professional Wrestling" and "The Most Liked Man in Professional Wrestling"  

Several major injuries, including torn ligaments and a torn groin, forced Peter to retire in 2017, but he drew on his talents to move into an acting career.





More Peter and some penises after the break

James Dumont's teen idol career, with Tim Matheson, Rob Lowe, and Andrew McCarthy




If you know James Dumont as a middle aged bear, you may be surprised to find that he began his acting career in 1980, at the age of fifteen.  














He got his first headshot courtesy of his uncle that year, and used it to get an uncredited role as "Kid Dancing in the Street" in The Blues Brothers.












Here's another 1980 shot. Definite Tiger Beat fave rave vibe.  He might have been another Shaun Cassidy (top photo: Shaun for comparison).
















In 1982, James got some more head and body shots for his acting/modeling career.  I'm thinking the rural craze, someone who belongs on The Waltons or Little House on the Prairie.  














Instead he got two more uncredited roles: In Listen to Your Heart (1983), a romcom starring Tim Matheson, left, and Kate Jackson.














Tim's butt after the break