"Dad Can't Know That I'm Gay": An Abraham Gemstone Adventure, with Ash, some twink d*cks, and a special appearance by Pontius and Stacy

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Pontius Gemstone and the Boy Named Stacy: What happened after the Gator Farm Massacre?

 

Previous:Gemstones Season 4 Finale: Saying goodbye to the Gemstones. With eight gay/bi characters, countless cocks, and a friggin' glory hole.

July 7, 2025: Stacy woke slowly, his eyes gradually adjusting to the hospital room. The monitors on his left side, the nightstand with cards and books on the right.  The window that looked out onto the parking lot, with maybe a little green beyond.  A countertop loaded down with "Get Well" balloons.  Two chairs -- wait, there was a figure sitting in one.  His eyes weren't focused yet -- who was it, his brother?

"You're not here to tell me how lucky I am, are you?  Another inch, and the bullet would have hit my aorta, and I would have bled out before the paramedics arrived? God was watching over me, but not the 17 men that Cobb killed?"

"Hell, no."  Stacy recognized the voice...but...the guy slid his chair over to the bed with a loud screech.  His friend Pontius!  Well, not really a friend -- Stacy had seen him on tv and at the Salvation Center, of course, but they didn't really meet until he started going to the skate park last month, and they had only spoken a few times. "I'm here to tell you to get well, so I can get back to watching you wipe out your ass on the tail slides."

"Har-har, big joke.  Dude, you know you're a wannabe mobber.  Just wait til I get back to that skatepark."  He hadn't realized how much he missed skating, and jamming about skating.

Pontius grabbed Stacy's free hand and pressed it against his own.  "I brought you some chocolate Turtles, 'cause you know, you're into lizards, but they accidentally got eaten in the car on the way over."

"Jackass!" 

He laughed.  Stacy felt surprisingly happy to see him. His brash, no-nonsense attitude was the perfect remedy to a week of "God had his hand on you!"

"I wanna know what it was like to work for Jeffrey Dahmer.  Did Cobb like, give you body parts to feed to the gators?"

"It was weird.  I liked working at the Gator Farm. Cobb was so nice to me, always asking about my classes and the Salvation Center, and all the time he was killing people, and he kept that guy Big Dick as a sex slave, like five feet from where I was mopping the floor."

"Yeah, dude, if you knew, you could have splattered the mother-f*cker!"  

"Hey, do you think he was asking so many questions because he was keeping tabs on your Grandad?"  

"Probably.  Seems like every year, some guy pops up with a grudge against my Grandad, the World Famous Eli Gemstone or whatever."  He reached up and squeezed Stacy's left shoulder.  "Does this hurt?'

"No.  I was shot in my right..."

"How about this?"  He moved his hand down to Stacy's crotch and squeezed.

"Hey, knock it off!"

"Just checking to see if your junk still works. Scoot over."  Pontius slid onto the bed next to him, so their thighs and legs were touching, and grabbed the tv remote.  "You get any porn on this thing?" 

"I don't think you're supposed to do that." 

"So call a nurse and complain."  

Stacy had never sat pressed against someone before, except maybe his brother when they were little.  He dated a couple of girls, back before he figured out that he was gay, but they never did any hugging, just handshakes and goodnight pecks.  He had been with two guys, but they were just hookups, unzip, suck, and don't say hello in the hallway the next day.  Was this what having a boyfriend felt like? Were they cuddling?  

Wait -- wasn't Pontius straight?

Pontius was casually clicking on the remote as if the closeness didn't bother him at all. Flustered, Stacy tried to think of something simple to talk about. "Did you know that your Grandad visits me every day?  Your brother Gideon has been by, and Kelvin..."

Uh-oh, Pontius took that as an accusation.  "I would have come before, but I've been busy.  Gideon is starting a new Christian-themed skatepark.  I'm going to be the manager."  He stopped on Spongebob Squarepants, then put down the remote and took Stacy's hand.  Their fingers interlocked.

They watched in silence for a few minutes. 

"This is nice," Stacy said.

Pontius started to blush, a reddening in his neck and face.  "Yeah, well, touching a dude is good for healing." 

He had a thin, tight frame, small hard biceps, some cool tattoos, and the most beautiful hands.  Why had Stacy never thought of asking him out?  

Reason #1: Stacy was a straight-A student at the College of Charleston, a biology major, planning to become a herpetologist.  And Pontius was kind of a screw-up.  Fun to hang out with, but no goals, no future.  Wait -- managing a Christian-themed skate park?  

Reason #2: Wasn't he straight?

"I've seen this episode," Pontius complained.  Let's find some chicks, or some dicks."  He clicked until he found a soap opera with a shirtless hunk sitting on a couch. "Awright! Check out those pecs! Man, I'd love to be working on those."

"I thought you were...you know...you like girls."

Pontius laughed, then lay his head on Stacy's shoulder.  "Dude, you are adorable.  I like pussy, but who's gonna say no to a cock?  I went down on half the cadets at the Citadel, and the other half went down on me.  Sometimes they wanted me to screw them while they screwed their girls, or the other way around."

Casually outing himself as bi?  No long, angst-ridden conversation?  Stacy was astonished, but strangely, not at ease.   Reason #3: Pontius was a player.  Whatever was going on here, it wasn't real.

"I'm gay...."

"Well, duh.  That's obvious, Stace.  Everybody knows.  My grandmother knows, and she's not even alive."

"So...if you knew, and you like guys, why haven't you ever asked me out?"

He looked away.  "So you're like a super-genius, you have the coolest job in the world, and look at you, with your dick-sucking lips and little pinprick tits and butt that goes on for days.  You're like Mr. Perfection,way out of my league." 

"Sure, but you're rich, so..."

Pontius laughed.  "Asshole!  C'mon, let's make out."  Without waiting for his response, he draped his arm around Stacy's shoulder and leaned in, and they were kissing.  Stacy had only kissed girls before, and only brief good-night pecks. Pontius was forceful and demanding, taking control, pushing, prodding, exploring. 

Stacy slid down so Pontius could lie on top, so he could feel his body, cling to him, his cock prodding against the fabric of his hospital gown.  It wasn't real, Pontius was just playing him, but...OMG, he was hot.

More after the break. Caution: Explicit

Gideon Gemstone's Secret Life, Part 1: Jimmy Olsen finds out that the Gemstones do it big

Previous: Pontius Gemstone, the Boy Named Stacy, and the Erotic Alphabet. With a special appearance by Gideon Gemstone.

Rev. Jesse Gemstone: The Big Man

Jimmy was prepared for a mansion rivaling Bruce Wayne’s – after all, the Gemstone motto was “Do It Big!”  But he still wasn’t prepared for the Gemstone Lake House, on Lake Murray, South Carolina’s biggest reservoir.  Tudor-style, with three round towers, four decks, eight bedrooms, two swimming pools, two boat launches, and a gazebo decorated with statues of the Greek gods Aphrodite and Apollo. 

Jesse Gemstone himself met him at the door, casually dressed in a checkered shirt and white pants. He shook Jimmy's hand and said “Praise be to He,” as if it was a standard greeting.   Jimmy had interviewed presidents and superheroes, but he was still in awe.  Rev. Gemstone was not only one of the three heads of the most successful Evangelical organization in the world, he was constantly in the news for everything from a mismanaged Prayer Pod debacle to numerous attempts on his life.

“Thank you for agreeing to the interviews,” Jimmy said. 

“It’s a visit,” he corrected.  “You’re our guest for the weekend.  Think of yourself as family – a long lost cousin.  You want anything, just ask.”  Then he flashed The Look – everybody did, Jimmy should have expected it, but he was still taken aback.  This was Jesse Gemstone!

Since he was about 15 years old, everybody who saw Jimmy Olsen, except for kids and the very old, fell in love with him.  Man, woman, gay, straight, single, married – it made no difference.  Usually they weren’t really aware of what was happening, they just got a little aroused and wanted to touch his arm or shoulder, and do things for him – he got a free dessert almost every time he ate in a restaurant, he was bumped to first class almost every time he flew, and he had never been turned down for a date or a hookup, except by Clark Kent – but sometimes they knew exactly what they wanted, and got a little aggressive.  God, he hoped that Jesse Gemstone wouldn’t get aggressive.

But all Rev. Gemstone did was get semi-aroused, caress Jimmy's arm a bit, and lead him into the foyer and…the library, where the Gemstone siblings crawled after they were shot by Corey Milsap, and prayed for him as he died -- they prayed for their murderer!  

“I’m surprised that you want to spend time at this place, when you and your brother and sister were shot and almost died here.”

He chuckled.  “So, if I stayed away from every place where someone tried to kill me, I’d never go anywhere.”  Then he hesitated.  “This isn’t going to be one of those smear pieces, is it?   Frankly, I agreed to the visit because  I like some of your articles in the Daily Planet.  You’ve got heart -- not like that Lois Lane and her muckraking interviews with Superman”

“It's going to be about the Gemstone Miracle, how you survive and thrive after adversity.  I get you – I grew up in the South. In an Evangelical family.”

“But you’re not Evangelical anymore?”  Uh-oh, Jimmy felt soul-winning coming on.

“I’m a gay ally – my sister is trans.  And I just couldn't stand the homophobia in my home church."

“Believe me, that’s not a problem here.”  Next they moved into parlor where they held talent contests, and Corey Milsap did a Michael Jackson routine – before trying to murder his friends.  “Is there going to be a talent show this weekend?”

“Why, do you have a piece in mind?”

As Rev. Gemstone showed him the dining room, kitchen, sun room, and game room, Jimmy wrote his introduction in his head:

A cross between Elvis Presley and Conway Twitty, with the Van Buren sideburns and rings on every finger, Jesse Gemstone lives the Gemstone motto of “Do it big!”  He has been kidnapped by his uncle, assaulted by a close friend, and shot by another close friend, yet he doesn’t hesitate to open his home and his heart to a complete stranger.  

“My brother and sister and their spouses will be coming up for dinner, and my oldest, Gideon, will be arriving tomorrow.  Right now it’s just my wife and I, our other two kids, and their boyfriends.”

Wait – boyfriends?  Didn’t Jesse and Amber Gemstone have three sons?  Jimmy would have to check his notes.

Mrs. Amber Gemstone: The Preacher’s Wife

Mrs. Gemstone was in the kitchen, elegantly dressed, all in white as she brought a pastry – peach cobbler? – from the oven.   She wiped her hands on a towel to shake Jimmy’s hand.

“You must think I’m an old fashioned Evangelical housewife, subservient to her husband,” she said, pausing as she gave him The Look.

“No, I don’t think that at….”

She caressed his arm.  “But we don’t have full time staff at the lake house.  The service goes home after making lunch, so we have to either eat out or cook dinner ourselves.  But coming all the way from Metropolis, I thought you’d appreciate some real Southern cooking rather than the Root Cellar or Thai Thai.”

Jimmy pulled away.  “I’d appreciate that, Ma’am.”

“Open!”  She popped a spoonful of cobbler into his mouth – a big spoonful, and still steaming hot!  He cried out in pain.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!  Jesse, get a glass of milk for our guest!”

Amber Gemstone, resplendent in white, the picture of the elegant Southern woman, is expertly hiding some insecurity.  She longs to be a traditional Evangelical housewife, following St. Paul’s admonition to “be submissive to your husband,” but the three-time sharpshooting champion of Charleston doesn’t take kindly to being submissive.

Abraham: The Loud Son

 “Pontius and Stacy are  out on a pontoon boat,” Jesse told him.  “You can meet them later. Next up is my youngest, Abraham.  He just turned eighteen.” 

Stacy?  Ok, Jimmy must have misheard.  Jesse’s middle son had a girlfriend, not a boyfriend.

He led Jimmy out to the bigger of the pools – the one behind the lake house – where two teenage boys were playing a noisy sword fight game with pool tubes. They were high school aged, athletic.   When they saw Jesse and Jimmy, they jumped out of the pool and ran forward.

“Boys, this is Jimmy Olsen, the reporter who will be staying with us this weekend.  My son Abraham –”  he gestured at the shorter boy, who had a muscular physique and a shock of unruly brown hair.  “And this is his friend Ash” – tall and thin, with brown skin and curly black hair.

“Don’t be so retro, Dad,” Abraham said, flashing the Look as he took Jimmy’s hand.  “Ash is my boyfriend.  I’m gay.”

“Yeah, with a boyfriend, I figured.”  He dislodged himself from Abraham and shook hands with Ash, who of course flashed the Look.  His semi-arousal was obvious.

"I'll leave you alone to get acquainted."  Rev. Gemstone vanished into the house.

“Go ahead and publish it in The Daily Planet,” Abraham continued. 

“If there’s room in my article.”

“I figured it out when I was like six, but I was afraid to come out to Dad after what happened to my brother Gideon…”

What happened to Gideon?  Jimmy smelled a Gemstone story that he hadn’t read in a bio or seen on CNN.

More after the break.  Caution: Explicit

You are invited to Kelvin and Keefe's wedding, with exclusive NSFW photos from the honeymoon

 

Previous: Gemstones Episode 4.9, Continued: Do the siblings really die?  Do Kelvin and Keefe really get married?

Here are some additional scenes from the Rightoeus Gemstones Episode 4.9 wedding:

This is the cover of the wedding program.

Martin: "Once upon a time, there were two  princes who fell in love."

The family applauds.

Sola the Nanny: "Alles gutes zum Hochzeitstag. Happy wedding anniversary"

Tiffany: "Yeah!"

Pontius: "Hey, Uncle Kelvin and Uncle Keefe. I hope you guys have a great marriage. Don't f*k too hard, ok?"

Gideon: "What Pontius is trying to say is, let your love... may your love be a blessing."  Looks like he is vaping.

Pontius: "Let your love be deep and hard...deep and hard.  Best wishes, guys."

Kelvin and Keefe dance. Keefe does The Worm.  He lifts Kelvin into his arms.

More after the break. Caution: Explicit.

Gideon Gemstone's Secret Life, Part 2: Keefe singing, Jimmy twerking, and Gideon in his underwear

Previous: Gideon Gemstone's Secret Life, Part 1: Jimmy Olsen finds out that the Gemstones do it big

In Part 1, Jimmy Olsen visits the Gemstones at the Lake House to write a story for The Daily Planet, and learns that something happened to Gideon that no one will talk about. On Friday, he interviews Jesse, Amber, Abraham, and Pontius.  It's Saturday morning, time for Kelvin and Keefe.  Then Gideon arrives

Kelvin Gemstone: The Top Christ Following Man

On Saturday morning, Jimmy came downstairs to the staff bustling about, cleaning bedrooms, mopping, vacuuming.  Most of the family had already finished breakfast and scattered to the boat or the swimming pools, but Kelvin and Keefe were still in the breakfast nook.  The youngest of the Gemstones was short, sturdy, muscular, and femme, a Tom of Finland drag queen, married to a long-haired muscleman with a fading “Hail Satan” tattoo visible on his forearm. 

“Good morning!” Kelvin called, flashing the usual Look.  “I hope you got a lot of rest, ‘cause we have a full day planned.”

Jimmy sat next to him.  A waiter jumped forward to fill his coffee cup and hand him the breakfast menu.  He ordered the Denver omelet and sourdough toast. 

“To be honest, after the noise and honking horns of Metropolis, it was hard to sleep in the quiet.”  Especially with his superpower revealing who was going at it at 3 and 4 am.

“Back when I was in Satan’s Baby, we toured in Metropolis a lot,” Keefe said. “I used to be a regular in the gay club scene up there.  Have you been to The Metropolis Eagle?”

Why did Keefe think that Jimmy would be hanging out in gay clubs?  “Your heavy metal past is a story waiting to be told. Maybe I can interview you later?”

He looked down at his mostly-eaten frittata.  “Thanks, but I like to stay out of the spotlight.  I’m the roots of the tree, and Kelvin is the branches.” 

Ok, so he wouldn’t be getting much information from Keefe.  Time to interrogate Kelvin. “So you came out publicly last year, but I’m sure the family knew long before that.  How did you come out to them?”

“Well, I didn’t really need to come out to them – they knew long before I did, back when I was a kid and sneaked peeks at my sister’s teen magazines. It took me forever to figure it out for myself.  I was in denial for years, until…”  He hesitated.  “I guess the kidnapping.”

But that was in 2023.  He had the God Squad, a cadre of bodybuilders living in yurts on his front lawn, in 2022.  How could he not know?

Keefe objected, too: “But we were doing stuff back when we first met, when Gideon and Scotty….” Kelvin shot him a harsh look, and he trailed off.

Obviously Kelvin was trying to control the narrative, present himself as unaware until 2023, so he could claim not to know about Gideon and Scotty….who the heck was Scotty, and what did it have to do with Kelvin?

“Keefe, are you sure you won’t reconsider that interview?  Maybe we can do it while swimming later.  I heard that the Lake House was clothing optional?”'

Keefe flashed the Look and glanced at Kelvin, who nodded his consent.

Kelvin Gemstone is short in stature, but he knows how to Do It Big: with puffy muscles, flamboyant outfits, and a series of revolutionary ministry innovations.  His most recent, a daily reflection for queer youth, averages 200 people in the on-site meeting and over a million views on the Gemstone streaming service, and won him the Top Christ Following Man of the Year Award.  Yet at home he is the quintessential nerd, a quiet, shy guy who collects comic books, plays arcade games with his husband, and can name all of the planets in the “Star Wars” universe.

Keefe Chambers: the Heavy Metal Rocker

City boy Jimmy learned to swim in a public pool, had been rescued from a sinking ship by Beast Boy, and was trembling with fear on the floating dock as Keefe dove into the 200-foot deep water of Lake Murray   (Kelvin stayed behind to do some work with Prism.)  He pulled himself up, rocking the dock – the guy weighed 200 pounds – and climbed up to the slide. 

He paused.  “Aren’t you coming in, Jimmy?” 

“No, thanks -- I’ll just work on my tan.  But I’m enjoying watching you.”  Jimmy hesitated, realizing that it sounded like he was interested – and maybe he was.  The guy was massive everywhere. Of course, he had a semi due to their proximity, but Keefe was bigger with a semi than most guys fully aroused.  He'd definitely need an extra-extra big condom.  If Jimmy was going to accept one of the three-way hints this weekend, it would be with the heavy metal rocker and his husband.

Keefe tumbled down the slide, dove in again, and then lay on the beach towel next to Jimmy – so close that they were touching, of course.  .

“Tell me about how you and Kelvin met,” Jimmy suggested.

He grinned at the memory.  “It was at Charleston Pride 2019.  I was passing out fliers for Baby Queef – my solo act after I quit Satan’s Baby.  Kelvin came to one of my performances, and that was it.  For me, anyway.  It took like three years to convince him that we should be more than sex buddies, and five years to talk him into marrying me.”

Keefe Chambers was on his way to an impressive career – lead singer in a heavy metal band, a solo act as a Satanic comedian, friends with musical giants Ozzie Osborne and Trent Reznor, covers of “It’s Raining Men” and “I’m Coming Out” that charted in France. But he gave it all up to stand in the wings, quietly supporting Kelvin Gemstone, his best friend, boyfriend, and eventually his husband.

“So Charleston Pride, June 2019, right?”  Jimmy fished. "Was that before or after Gideon and Scotty?”

“Gideon came home from California later, after I moved into Kelvin's house.  Maybe in January or February?  Scotty came up a week or so later, and stayed through...well, stayed awhile.”

“A boyfriend?”

“Probably.  I mean, we had them over for dinner, like they were a couple.”

“So Gideon is gay?”

Keefe patted his shoulder. “You'd better ask him yourself.  He likes irises and Greek food.”  He dove into the water again.

If Rev. Gemstone allowed Gideon and his boyfriend to live openly in his house in the spring of 2020, the thing that happened couldn’t be about being gay.  Unless he started homophobic, kicked Gideon out of the house, and somehow the relationship was restored.

More after the break

Pontius Gemstone, the Boy Named Stacy, and the Erotic Alphabet. With a special appearance by Gideon Gemstone.

Previous: "My Three Gay Sons and...ugh...Vance Simkins": A Jesse Gemstone Adventure, with Guest Star Karl Montgomery

Stacy awoke with Pontius' arms wrapped around him, his head on Pontius' chest, and his hand cupping his butt cheek.  Pontius was aroused, rock hard, his gorgeous cock rising into the air like a flagpole!  Stacy couldn't help reaching down to stroke it.  

"Mmm...keep doing that."  His eyes still closed, Pontius took Stacy's hand and helped him squeeze harder.  

"Sorry, I didn't know you were awake."

"I try not to sleep when you're lying in my arms.  I don't want to miss any of it."  He leaned up, and they kissed, both of them hard and pressing together.

"Good morning."  Pontius' gaze was intense, yet warm, comforting, loving.  

"I love you," Stacy said.

Instead of saying "I love you" back, Pontius moved down and started sucking his cock!  "Well, this says love, doesn't it?," he thought as Pontius' tongue darted around the head, and his lips moved up and down the shaft.  Or maybe it doesn't.  It says that he likes cocks.

Suddenly Pontius leapt out of bed.  "Be right back -- gotta pee."  He bounced to the bathroom, his cock still sticking out in front of him.

 While listening to the pee-sounds  -- why was that erotic?  -- Stacy looked around the room: New dresser, desk cluttered with books and headphones, a map of the world taped to the wall, drawings of car designs, a bookcase with mostly Matchbox car models, three dusty guitars that no one had ever used, a glowing neon P.  

Pontius had replaced a poster of a bikini babe with a muscleman because Stacy asked him to, and cleared a drawer for some shirts, socks, and underwear, but it was still his room, Pontius with capital P, in the house he shared with his brother. 

They met last July, when Stacy was shot in the Gator Farm Massacre, and Pontius visited him at the hospital.  Since they, they had hung out almost every day.  

There were movies, concerts, plays, Queer Youth Game Nights. dinner at Jason's Steakhouse after church, volunteer work, a Halloween Party, Thanksgiving with Stacy's family, Christmas with the Gemstones, New Year's Eve in Myrtle Beach -- yet whenever Stacy hinted at moving in together, or getting their own place, Pontius deflected, changed the subject, or bounced out of the room, and God forbid he say "I love you."  Did he think of Stacy as a boyfriend or a buddy? 

Sound of the water running, a towel being yanked, and then Pontius rushed out of the bathroom.  How was he still aroused?  

"So, what were we talking about?"

"Me on my stomach, I think," Stacy said.

"No, on your back. I want to look at you."

More after the break

Gemstones Episode 4.4, Continued: Keefe in drag, Pontius with four dicks, Jasper with one, and Casper the Friendly Ghost

 

Previous: Gemstones Episode 4.4: Gideon is gay, Jesse jealous, and Kelvin scared.  Plus a Big Dick and a play within a play

In the first part of Episode 4.4, the family gathers at the lake house Galilee Gulch, where Jesse and Kelvin hatch schemes to break up their father and his new girlfriend.  We see some attempts to break them up, some d*cks and beefcake, a cute Kelvin-Keefe scene, and hints that both Gideon and Abraham are gay.  Pontius next.

I forgot to post this photo of Tony in the swimming pool scene, bulge at the ready. 

And this one of BJ and the nephews hanging out, with the cute attendant in the background (still can't find him on the IMDB).  Abraham is shirtless, but only 16, not old enough to be a hunk.  Maybe a hunkoid.

BJ is angry because he spilled his drink.    

I

Judy's Breakup Plan:  Jesse and Kelvin have failed in their attempts to break up Eli and Lori, so Judy decides to use her "super power": the ability to incite the erotic interest of anybody.  She goes to Lori's room and tries to seduce her.  Lori just stands there.

Left: I didn't want to illustrate the scene with pics of Lori and Judy, so here's a Daddy by the pool.

Next she offers $500,000 to get gone. Lori sneers. "If I was in it for the money, why wouldn't I stick around for a lot more?"  

Ok, so Judy orders her to break up with Eli, or she'll claim that Lori tried to rape her.  

Lori glares at her. "Are we done?" 

Takeaway: Judy wouldn't know that her seduction technique works on women unless she's tried it out.  Add her to the ever-growing list of bi/pan Gemstones. 

Keefe in Drag: Saturday night.  In bed, Kelvin is distraught over the continuance of the Eli/Lori romance.  Keefe asks if he can do anything to help: "Not unless you can bring my dead Mama back to life." The episode title is about Jesus rising from the dead, and the siblings worship their Mama, so....

Keefe decides on the next best thing:  dress-me-ups.  He puts on one of Aimee-Leigh's dresses, her wig, her glasses, and some makeup (wait -- where did he get makeup?),  goes to Eli's room, and tries to haunt him: "I'm the ghost of your dead wife. Break up with Lori."  

Eli doesn't respond, so Keefe crawls on top of him and starts singing Aimee-Leigh's signature song, "Misbehavin'"

 

Suddenly Eli and Lori awaken; everyone screams.  Keefe rushes out and falls down the staircase into the parlor whereupon the Nanny, thinking that he is an intruder, pulverizes him.  

"Who are you?" she shouts.

"I'm just a ghost -- a friendly ghost."

First he consorted with Hot Stuff, the Little Devil, and now he's Casper the Friendly Ghost.

More after the break

Gemstones Episode 4.2, Continued: Pontius' private parts, Gideon's butt buddy, and JR's junk. Plus Karen from "Will and Grace" sings

 

Previous: Gemstones Episode 4.2: Baby Billy's dong, BJ's pole, Kelvin's pipe, and the Clobber Verses.

In Part 1, the conflicts of the seasons were introduced: Eli is looking for meaning, BJ for independence, and Keefe for a wedding ring. Next up: Jesse and his Cain-and-Abel sons, Pontius and Gideon.

Pontius' Private Parts: Jesse taping a commercial for his new line of Prayer Pods, like privacy pods except that inside you can pray, play Bible Bonkers, listen to a sermon, and so on.  He forces the entire family into one.  It's a tight fit: Pontius, sitting on his lap, deliberately farts in his face.

In the dressing room, we get some back story:  Pontius (top photo and left) got kicked out of the Citadel for low grades, and  because he was posting videos of his buddies sticking firecrackers up each other's butts.  

That sounds like slang for homoerotic activity, but apparently it's a real thing: people put fireworks in their friends' butts as a prank.  

I still think Ponty is hinting at homoerotic interests..

Amber notes that you can "hurt your privates doing things like that," but Pontius insists that his privates work fine, disgusting his parents.  Darn, now you have viewers checking out your bulge.

Gideon's Butt Buddy: Jesse can't communicate with his father Eli, but Gideon has no trouble: "I call Granddad, or he calls me."  

This enrages Jesse, who calls them "butt buddies."  Amber points out that the phrase actually refers to "sodomy," so he backs down: "I didn't mean it like that.  I'm not trying to say that he's trying to f*k Daddy in the ass."  Of course not, Gideon is a bottom.

This is a continuation of the Eli-Gideon relationship from Season 3, so it shouldn't come as a surprise.  I'm wondering, however, if Gideon is ever going to have a relationship with anyone outside the family.  His last friend or boyfriend was Scotty, who died at the end of Season 1.  Your Granddad has overcome his grief and moved on, Gid Baby; maybe you should, too.

Abraham's got nothing: Poor Gavin; his last plot arc was in Season 2, and it was about leaving secretions everywhere.  Looks like he's got nothing here, either; after the Prayer Pod commercial, he sits by himself and plays on his cell phone, just entering the conversation to laugh that his Dad is "butthurt" over Gideon's relationship with Eli.  

Amber criticizes that phrase as referencing "sodomy" also.  What you got against gay stuff, girl?

Karen arrives:  The siblings are getting jetpack training from J.R. Rodriguez (good idea), when it's time for the friend or relative from Eli's past to arrive and shake things up: Baby Billy in Season 1; Junior in Season 2; May-May in Season 3; and now "Mama's bestie," Lori , played by Megan Mullaly, Karen on Will and Grace.   

Everyone rushes to hug her; Kelvin blurts out "I love you."  It sounds like he means it in a romantic way.  Is he going to dump Keefe for the old lady?  They discuss how much they miss Aimee-Leigh.

She explains that she hasn't visited for awhile because she's been doing dinner theater in Pigeon Forge -- the Smokey Mountains home of Dolly Parton's Dollywood and other countrified attractions.  An article in Focus, the Tennessee LGBTQ magazine, calls it a "Gay Mecca."

Maybe not a mecca; it's still overwhelmingly "family friendly" conservative fundamentalist Christian. They had a "Gay Day" at Dollywood in 2004, but horrified protests caused it to not be repeated.

More after the break. Caution: Explicit

A Chess Game, a Christmas Carol, and Karl's Cock: A Vance Simkins/Cousin Karl Romance

 

(I revised this story to get the Christmas Carol references right, and include a picture of Karl's cock.)

October 18, 2025. Queer Youth Game Night

“Now this piece is called a rook, or castle if you want.  It can move horizontally or vertically across the board, but it can’t go around other pieces.”

Cousin Karl nodded.  

Vance paused to wonder again what the heck was happening. What was he -- the former head of a megachurch empire based on "old fashioned Christian morality"  -- doing at a Queer Youth Game Night?  

With his arch-nemesis Jesse...ugh...Gemstone?  

Teaching his Cousin Karl to play chess while gazing at his massive biceps and wondering if he was big everywhere?

“This piece is called a bishop," he continued, trying to stop imagining Cousin Karl's dick.

“Looks like a cartoon character,” Karl said with a grin.  “See his nose and mouth?

“Well, I’ll be…now that you mentioned it, I can’t see it any other way! But it’s supposed to be bishop’s hat, like Catholic bishops, right?  He moves diagonally.”

“So the Catholic guy can’t be straight?  He must be gay.”

Vance laughed. 

March 10, 2025: The Round-Table Discussion of Candidates for the Top Christ Following Man

The question is "Should public schools teach a class in world religions?," but Kelvin interrupts to brag about his Prism ministry.  Vance seizes the opportunity to complain about a "homosexual" being nominated: "God's Word is clear on this issue." 

Kelvin gets all flustered and starts blustering about the Levitical Code.  

Vance isn't stupid.  He knows that it's not fair to latch onto one verse from the Code and ignore the others -- and that one verse wasn't even about modern homosexuals -- gays -- it was about temple prostitution.  He knows that only a few Evangelicals think that God hates gays.  None of the preachers in the Cape and Pistol Society think so.  But he continues to dig at Kelvin, and when the boy wins the Top Christ Following Man award anyway, he screams about "homosexuals in our midst" on national tv.  

"The Queen and King can move in any direction," Vance continued, "But the Queen can go as far as she wants, and the King can only move one space."

"I get it," Karl said, grinning.  "Queens are the biggest and baddest of the pieces.  I guess that makes me a Queen."

Vance. laughed.  "You're bigger than anybody I've ever seen.  But not bad.  I think you're really nice."

Karl looked down at his hands.  "Thank-ee."

November 3, 2024. The Cape and Pistol Society

As usual, Vance is trying to dig at Jesse Gemstone.  The infuriating braggart thinks he's a much better preacher, but actually he's more successful because he comes from the Baptist tradition, and Vance is Wesleyan -- God requires perfection, no sins in thought, word, or deed.  No alcohol, no movies, no dances, no eating out on the Sabbath, no rock music, no secular literature, just the Word of God.  No wonder Jesse's laissez-faire "God loves you no matter what" fills the pews at the Salvation Center, and draws millions of views on their streaming service.  

Jesse's brother-in-law BJ was injured while pole-dancing -- disgusting! -- so Vance implies that he is gay, and asks "How many homosexuals in your family?"  "Two," Jesse answers. 

Vance wondered who Jesse meant: his brother Kelvin and...Cousin Karl?  No, he probably meant his son Pontius.  Tonight Vance dropped by Jesse's house to taunt him a bit, and heard that Pontius and his boyfriend Stacy (yes, a boyfriend) were going to Queer Youth Game Night at Kelvin's house.  They assured him that it was just board games, but he imagined cocks pushing through glory holes and guys in slings being gang-banged, so Jesse offered to bring him over to observe.

It was just board games: Sorry, Clue, Uno, Apples and Apples. With Kelvin leading a gay trivia game in the parlor, a chaperone monitoring video games in the Game Room -- and in the kitchen, a massive man-mountain -- 6'7" (as Mae West used to say, "Forget the six foot; tell me about the seven inches"), bench press record 585 pounds, Top Strongman of the South three years running.  With a smile that lit up the room. 

Vance was only trying to be friendly when saw an unoccupied chess set and offered to teach Cousin Karl to play.  And when he rubbed his leg against Cousin Karl's under the table. 

"Ok, now the Knight, this horse-shaped piece, moves two squares vertical or horizontal, then one square perpendicular.  Let me show you."  He moved his Queen's Knight to C5.  "It can also jump over other pieces, like that pawn, for instance."

"Sounds complicated."

"Well, anytime you do something that people aren't expecting, they're going to be confused.  They may even get angry.  But that's the place where you can be an individual, show them who you really are."  He reached over and squeezed Karl's hand. 

Suddenly Abraham, Jesse's youngest son -- short, slim, high school age -- rushed up to them.  Vance quickly moved his hand away.

"I came out!" he exclaimed.  "To my Dad.  I mean, my Dad found out."

Karl turned to  face him -- he was taller than Abraham, even sitting down! "How did it go?"

Left: Cousin Karl and Abraham from a few years ago.

"Like nothing.  Like it was not a big deal at all."  He fell against Karl's chest and hugged him.

"Your Daddy loves you," Karl said.  "He doesn't care who you go out with."

"After what happened with Pontius, I was really worried.  Hey, I gotta go tell Pontius and Stacy! See ya!"  He rushed off.

"That boy is lucky!" Vance exclaimed.   "You don't see many parents who are so accepting, especially when they have two gay kids."

"Three.  I think Gideon is gay, too.  He never says anything, but I never said anything to my Mama and Daddy, either.  They just kind of figured it out when I started bringing boys around."  He paused.  "What about your folks, Rev. Simkins...I mean, Vance?"

The boy thought he was gay!  Vance started to say "I'm just an ally," but then he figured that coming out as straight would decrease his likelihood of getting Karl's cock down his throat later.  "I never really said anything to my parents, either."

More after the break

Andreas Alvarez: Righteous Gemstones stunt skater has lots of man friends and a potential p*enis. With skater dude dicks

 

Although he's not in the cast list, Andreas Alvarez performed all of Pontius' skateboarding in Righteous Gemstones Season 4, and maybe Gideon's.

He has tats of his own, so Pontius always skateboarded in a long-sleeved shirt.

Of course, one of the perks of being a stunt performer is meeting the cast.

I wanted to research Andreas, but he doesn't seem to have any other stunt listing on the IMDB.  He was apparently cast because he has a similar body build to Kelton Dumont.

Not a lot of biographical information available. His facebook says that he was born in 1999.  He grew up in Compton, Virginia, an unincorporated small town in the Shenandoah Mountains.  Now he lives in North Springfield,Virginia, a suburb of Washington, DC.

Google searches are stymied by the much more famous Andreas Alvarez, baseball player.

All we have from our Andreas are skateboarding stats: overall global rank 326th, street 196th, park 984th, earned $2,184, with sponsors:Fairfax surf, Llama spit brand, Saiber (SABER), fly paper grip, OC Ramps

Over 100 competitions beginning iin 2016 with The Boarder Am Qualifiers (where he placed #52).

His most recent competition was the Jackalope Mens Street Semi Finals, where he placed #16 of #24.

I found a potential n*de photo, but it would have come before he most of his tats (the arms are visible).

More after the break

"My Three Gay Sons and...ugh...Vance Simkins": A Jesse Gemstone Adventure, with Guest Star Karl Montgomery

Previous: "Dad Can't Know I'm Gay": An Abraham Gemstone Romance, with a special appearance from Pontius and Stacy

October 18, 2025:

When Jesse walked into the media room, he saw Priscilla, Queen of the Desert on the big tv -- drag queens in the Australian outback -- and Pontius with his arms wrapped around someone.  They were kissing.

For a moment he thought it was a girl, proving that this "bi" stuff was just a phase.  But no, it was Stacy, the long-haired femme kid who was shot and almost killed at the Gator Farm Massacre.  How did he and Pontius manage to find each other?   

Sure, Stacy was a nice boy -- maybe too nice for his asshole son.  But after Kelvin coming out, then Cousin Karl, then his friend Levi, plus both Daddy and Uncle Baby Billy mentioning gay romances in their past, and now Pontius. Who was next,  BJ?  Aunt May-May?  Jesse was getting a little tired of being an ally.

“Hey, cool off," he called down.  "Give your tongues a rest.  Is that all you ever do?”

Pontius raised his head.  “Of course not," he said with an evil grin.  "We do a lot of stuff. Wanna watch?”

Jesse had already caught Pontius going down on Stacy -- in the hospital, of all places!  He didn't need a repeat. "Don't be a smartass.  You gonna go to the Queer Youth Game Night at Kelvin's house, or you gonna stay here and make out?"

"Stay here and make out?" Pontius asked, looking expectantly at Stacy.

"No, we're going. It's important for us to socialize with other queer youth."  He stood, took Pontius' hand, and pulled him to his feet.

"You're always going to get you rway" Pontius said, smiling.  "If only you weren't so gosh-darned cute."

Gosh-darned?  Jesse thought.  Maybe Stacy is a good influence on him.  

"One more for the road," Stacy said, "And then we'd better get to that party."  He leaned up and kissed Pontius.

"Disgusting display!" 

It was Vance Simkins, the megachurch pastor whose homophobic rants almost pushed Kelvin back into the closet, before he rallied, came out on national television, and won the Top Christ Following Man of the Year Award.  

 “Who let you in?” Jesse asked, frowning.  "I defeated you in that duel, remember?  So stay on your own side of the state."

“The security station was letting everybody through, if they said they were coming for the party.  What party?"

“Kelvin and Keefe's Game Night," Jesse said, omitting the "queer."

But Vance caught on anyhow.  "Good thing I dropped by.  Is this one of them decadent parties with little holes in the wall, so you can stick your dick through and anybody who wants can suck it?  And guys hanging in leather stirrups, so anybody who wants can screw them?”

“It’s just board games,” Stacy said.

"But the party you're planning sounds fun, too," Pontius added.  "Can Stace and I get an invitation?"

Vance grinned.  "Well, if it’s perfectly innocent, you won’t mind if I come along.”

“It’s for queer youth and their allies under age 25," Jesse said.  "Now, you’re obviously queer, but you haven't been 25 since...The Battle of Fort Sumter?”

"Besides," Stacy added, "A lot of the kids are traumatized by growing up in homophobic churches.  Some are closeted, worried that their parents will reject them, even kick them out of the house.  It's supposed to a safe space -- no  homophobes allowed."

“I am not a homophobe, young lady, or fella, or whatever you think you are.  I just want to see the kinds of games homo...um, queer youth play.  Or should I call the police and tell them about the underaged homosexual sodomy going on in Kelvin's little den of iniquity?"

Jesse sighed.  He was probably bluffing, but... "Ok, Vance, you talked me into it.  We'll go over and check it out. Boys, you go on ahead.  We'll be there in a bit."

There were only two ways to get into the party: they had to either turn 21 again, or bring food.  Jesse dragged Vance to the kitchen, and they loaded up the two trays of lemon bars that Amber was planning to bring to the Marital Problem Group tomorrow -- he would drop by the all-night bakery and replace them later.  

They had to park on the lawn at Kelvin's house.  There were about a dozen cars parked outside, plus two church vans.  Assuming that they carpooled, Jesse estimated that there were about fifty teenagers and young adults at the party.  Hopefully none of them were kissing!

Kelvin's boyfriend Keefe answered the door with his fists raised.  "Pontius and Stacy told us you would be trying to get in.  But we don't allow homophobes."

"Down, boy!" Vance said with a laugh. "I promise to be on my best behavior."

"We're just dropping off some snacks for the group.  Two dozen lemon bars -- Amber and our housekeeper Tanya made them."

Keefe looked suspicious, but he dropped his fists.  "Well, I do love a good lemon bar. Come on in."

They carried the trays from the foyer into the formal parlor, where about twenty people were sitting in small groups.  Kelvin, leading what sounded like a Gay Trivia game, nodded at them.

"Hey, Buddy," Vance said, "Isn't that your son Geraldine?  The one who wants to be a preacher?"

It was definitely Gideon and his friend Clay, the Classics major -- really, who majored in Latin? -- sitting with their backs to them, playing a "How well do you know your partner" game with two girls, one with pink hair. 

"They must be here as allies.  See, they're with their girlfriends."  Why hadn't Gideon mentioned having a girlfriend?

More after the break. Caution: Explicit