Ned Brower: From nude modeling to an ER nurse, , getting older and less gay-coded year by year. With his cock, plus Malcolm in the Middle's

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Aramis Gomez: Teenage model/actor with six acting credits, some swimsuit photos, and lots of gay friends. With Zac Efron's stuff

 

I was interested in Aramis Gomez because he has over 1,000 photos on the teen idol site, so he must be famous for something, and because I always liked the name Aramis: one of the Three Musketeers, originally "someone from Aramits," a village in the  Basque region of the Pyrenees.  My friend Yuri and I went to Basque country several years ago in search of "the world's biggest penis."

Our Aramis seems to be primarily known for modeling.  He has only six acting credits listed on the IMDB, five of them shorts:

Bricks (2016), not to be confused with the other Bricks (2016), an adaption of Poe's "Cask of Amontillado," Bricks (2015), about two crooks arguing after a robbery, or Brick (2025), about an apartment house that's bricked in.  Our Bricks is only seven minutes long; it took me longer to look for a plot synopsis. I couldn't find one.

Why is Santa Asian? (2016).  No plot description, but no Santa Claus appears in the cast list, but Randall Park stars as Lily's Dad.

Foster Home (2017). No plot description, but directed by Sean Peavy.

Clark (2018): William McNamara kidnaps a boy (Aramis) who is "much more than he seems to be."  So, a demon, a brat, or someone who teaches him the joie de vivre.

Ghost Squad (2018): Paranormal investigators camp out in their school.  

Plus a two-episode guest spot on Animal Kingdom (2021): Liam (Taylor Handley), the abusive ex-husband of desert guru Cassandra, kidnaps their son (Aramis), so Andrew (Shaun Hatosy, left) leaves him tied up in the desert and suggests that Cassandra run away with the boy.

Aramis is a preteen or tween in all of his appearancces,  so I doubt that there is any gay content.

More after the break

The Leneave Brothers: Three Catholic swimsuit models with gay-positive ads, contradictory biographies, and model dicks

 

When Chris Leneave, aka Chris Luquin, appeared on my Instagram recommendations, I figured that he was French.  But he appears to be an American model, one of these three.  I'm not sure which yet -- all of his posts show duos or trios.

An ad from 2021. Chris (or his Mom) says that this advertises "environmentally friendly luxury swimwear" with his brother and MZ.   I still don't know which brother is Chris.

I looked for MZ, but can't find a model with that name.

Google AI thinks he might mean the Model Zone, MZ agency, based in Mexico City but with branches in Florida.  I checked the six male actors on their website, and found a nude photo, but no one who looks like the dad above.

"The perfect shorts do exist. Community and family values etched into every line."  Family values usually means homophobia, but this looks very much like two dads and their sons frolicking on the beach.

Again, he doesn't tell us who the grown-up models are, but at least he identifies himself: Chris is the older brother.

I had even less to work with in an attempt to track down the adult models.  The closest I could come was "black male model Florida."

More after the break

Marcus Hodson: Shape-shifting demon or hyper-masculine Midlands model? With nude merman bonus

On Dead Hot (2024), Marcus Hodson plays a shape-shifting demon, a hermetic Magus who travels between esoteric realms through the Eye of Horus bar and its mysterious Red Phone.  I wanted to know if he plays other mysterious Pucks or Lords of Misreason, but his IMDB listing is rather basic  Five roles, all 2022-2024: 

You Like That, a short about a gay American student in Edinburgh.

The Stand-up Sketch Show, where comedians perform "a surreal reconstruction of their own material."  Marcus is a background player in five episodes.

An episode of Domino Day, about a young witch "haunted by her need to feed on others." In Episode 2, Marcus plays a hookup who smooches with her and is eaten.

Gentleman in Moscow is about a Russian aristocrat placed under house arrest in a hotel for the rest of his life after the 1917 revolution.  He befriends a little girl who also lives in the hotel; Marcus plays her piano teacher.

He also plays one of the mermen in The Little Mermaid.

Only one other paranormal show, and he doesn't even play a supernatural being?

Not many biographical details available. A 2021 article in Pause magazine states that he is 25 years old, from Manchester but living in London. He began modeling at age 18, then started university, but left to go pro.

In spite of the paucity of biographical details, Marcus has a very active social media presence, with hundreds of posts about travel, food, and beefcake. Here he is in Greece

In Rome

On the beach.  Does Marcus have a palsy disorder in his left hand, or is he displaying some magickal gestures?

More after the break

Aleks Kurdzielewicz: Femme boy from Poland with some gay subtext roles and Pride merch. And grown-up co-star cocks, of course.

 

My "Profiles to Do" folder has guys that I added with minimal research, and now, for some of them, I don't remember why.  Have they played gay characters?  Are they gay in real life?  Are there n*de photos?

For instance,  Aleks Kurdzielewicz, a femme boy model and actor from Poland. 

1. Has he played gay characters?

Aleks has nine acting credits on the IMDB, all in Polish or German productions.  Let's hope that they're available to stream in the U.S.

2020: 

Berek, a music video by Plan Be (Bartosz Krupa). Bartosz is chased by men in black masks past a school classroom, a blond women, teenagers smoking, a man and a woman on a couch, and a depressed looking family on a park bench.  Eventually they join him.  Sounds like a critique of the heterosexist job, house, wife, kids trajectory.

2022:

How I Fell in Love with a Gangster, about the rise of infamous gangster Nikos Skotarczak (Tomasz Wlosok, left).  Aleks plays the young Nikos.

An episode of Professional Secrecy (2022), about a woman discovering dark secrets about her husband

2023:

An episode of Na sygnale, about paramedics.  Starring Dariusz Wieteska, left, who has been in 434 episodes to date.

An episde of Dzielnica strachu, about cops fighting crime.

2024:

Oderbruch: Lucas Gregorowicz plays a detective solving a murder in the Oderbruch region of Germany, near the Polish border.  Aleks plays his son. 

Two episodes of Ojciec Mateusz, about a priest (Artur Zmijewski) who solves murders in his spare time. Over 400 to date. 

 He posts a scene where he's getting dressed up and wears his dad's cologne, but he calls it "perfume."  He doesn't mention having a date with a girl.  Sounds like the kid is queer-coded.

 

This is from Artur's performance piece "The Whole One."  Or it might be another Artur.

More after the break

Fresh Off the Boat Episode 3.2: Musclemen flex, Walter is homophobic, Evan finds a new boyfriend, and Eddie is traumatized by cocks.

Since identifying Hudson Yang as "probably gay," I've been going through his tv series, Fresh Off the Boat, about a "fresh off the boat" Taiwanese-American family in the 1990s.  There are a number of recurring gay characters, but I'm looking for gay texts and subtexts among the sons, Eddie, Emery, and Evan.  Episode 3.2, "Breaking Chains" (2016) has some, plus beefcake and homophobia.

I'm skipping the A Plot, where Dad Louis (Randall Park) hires a housekeeper, thus insulting his wife Jessica, who thinks that he thinks she is a failure as a woman (because her gender identity is based on her ability to clean up?) 

In the B Plot, Eddie (Hudson Yang) and his friends are about to enter eighth grade, so they'll need either great gear or great stories.

Trent (Trevor Larcom) has great gear: he went to a theme park and got a scrunchie depicting the mascot.

Walter (Prophet Bolden) tells him that it "looks like a gay raindrop." 

 Homophobic comment, buddy.

Brian (Dash Williams) has a great story: he had mono, so he stayed inside watching Cinemax.  Now he knows a lot about boobs, and wants to become a pizza delivery boy.  Ugh, heteronormative girl-craziness.

Dave (Evan Hanneman) argues they don't need gear or stories, because they'll be eighth graders, practically upperclassmen.  Eddie (Hudson Yang) agrees: "We'll be men among boys!"  Sounds like their middle school covers grades 7-9, and high school grades 10-12.

Cut to a fantasy of the guys as grown-up musclemen flexing and grinning. I count six girls and one boy swooning over them -- but the one boy acknowledges the existence of LGBT people. 

Eddie's brother Emery is also impressed.  He gasps, "Who are those MEN?"

"Nah, son," Adult Eddie answers.  "We're eighth graders."

Ok, two boys are swooning over the musclemen.

In case you were wondering, Trent becomes Chris Kimball (below); Walter, Cleveland Berto, Dave, Colin Owens; and Eddie, Chen Tang (left)

Some dicks after the break

Melvin Mellblom: Sad Swedish-Thai model with muscles, a constantly changing hair color, and a backside. With Peebles and Algerian d*cks

 

I was drawn to Melvin Mellblom on the teen idol website because he posts a blurry muscle photo.  Who would do that?  

And because of his name.  When I was in high school, bullies used "Melvin" to disparage kids that they considered clumsy, awkward, or book-smart. And God help you if that was really your name!  

Most actors saddled with the name Melvin change it to Mel.  Google lists only three who didn't: Melvin van Peebles (left), Bonez Estivez, and Gregg. So why didn't this Mellblom fellow avoid the giggling and change it to Mel?

Melvin (really?  not Mel?) was born in Sweden, but moved to Thailand at age three, so he speaks Swedish, Thai, and English.   His Instagram and Facebook pages say that he is an actor, model, and social media influencer, but there are no acting roles listed on the IMDB, and only two on his professional resume:

The music video Without You (2016), by Marcus & Martinus, a Norwegian dance pop duo.  A boy wanders around some temples and historic sites in Thailand, being sad, crying, screaming, and looking at photos of his ex-girlfriend. 

Is it over? I just gotta know
Cause I'm reaching, but where did you go?
Tears are falling, while I'm calling
Can't make it alone, no

I don't like where this research is heading.

And a short, The Gold Star Kid (2017): A boy living in Thailand finds a 20 Euro note, and uses it to pay the restaurant bill of a soldier who reminds him of his dead father  (Algerian actor Rachid Oumakhlouf, nude after the break).

The IMDB says that the boy is played by Nils Bento Connault.

Melvin's Instagram and Facebook pages begin in 2017, with a lot of modeling photos.  He looks sad in most of them.  No girl-hugging, but he posts "Sorry boys, I like girls," to clear up any misconceptions.

Bummer. 

In February 2020, he posts to fans from bed.  Some guys comment on his hotness.  So, did you change your mind about liking boys, Mel Baby?

In April 2020, he poses wearing a Sylvester Stallone t-shirt, and gets purple hair.  A pride color?

More after the break.  Caution: Explicit

Proud: A young male model in Poland is gay, sleazy, frequently naked, and not at all proud.

The first episode of the TV series Proud has dropped on HBO MAX: "After a tragedy, a carefree young man must grow up or lose what he has left."  Nothing in the premise or episode synopsis suggests that he is a gay carefree young man, but dropping a show called Proud during Pride Month is a dirty trick if it's gay-free.  So we'll give it a try.   

Scene 1: Shaky hand-held camera follows the back of a Carefree Young Man's head as he walks past blurry people in a room.  They seem to be models waiting for an audition. The casting agent wants them all in underwear.   The Young Man sneaks into the bathroom, takes cocaine, does some push-ups, and heads for his audition.  

Wait -- they said underwear.  He strips, completely nude, explaining "I don't do underwear."

One of the casting agents says it's fine, "The kid's a free spirit."  You just like his cock, buddy.   He starts choking, so the young man gives him Heimlich. 

Scene 2: A blurry club, very dark, very red, very crowded.  Looks like mostly men.  The Young Man does cocaine, is absorbed by gyrating body parts, then follows a group of guys through the kitchen and into the dark room.  Ok, he's gay. And this must be Europe, where every bar has a dark room.  They don't usually put them next to the kitchen,though. 

The dark room is even darker and blurrier than the main club, but I think I see some kissing and rimming. 

Whoops, a girl bursts in and opens the curtains: "Party's over!  Get out!"  

Ulp, this isn't a dark room.  The Young Man invited four guys to an orgy at his sister's apartment!  Does the apartment open directly onto the kitchn of a gay club, or do we have to deal with inept editing as well as inept cinematography?

"I thought you weren't coming back until Monday," the Young Man says in a blurry, drug-addled voice.

"It is Monday, you idiot!"

"Dang, I have a very important meeting today!"

Scene 3:  After kicking the guys out, the Young Man -- Filip -- goes to the kitchen and asks Sis why she's so upset.  "We had an agreement -- no partying in the house! Plus you haven't taken out the trash or done the laundry.  Those are your two jobs!"

"I know.  I've been busy."

She wants him out.  She can't take his lack of responsibility, not doing any chores, always being drunk and high, strange men coming in and out all the time, with her child in the house. The child looks like she's about a year old. 

"But I'm broke."

"Then sell your motorcycle!" 

They argue for awhile.  Sister yells: "You think life is all fun and games, but today is the day you grow up.  Move out by this evening!"  This isn't carefree, it's pathological!

Scene 3: The naked Filip is getting dressed. We may get a brief cock shot, but it's too blurry to see anything.  A guy bangs on the door, asking for his money.  A lady walking down the hall says that she's walking Filip's dog, and he owes 50 zloty ($13) for dog food.  

The guy takes the dog.  Filip yells down after him, but he says "I want my money today!"

Filip pours some vodka into a coke bottle and jumps into a taxi to head to his very important meeting.  But he turns around to sell his motorcycle.

Scene 4: Two guys pick up the motorcycle, insisting that they'll only pay half of what it's worth. Hey, he has four of them!  And he's broke?  Maybe it's the cocaine.  The guy from his very important meeting calls, angry: "Where the hell are you?"

Left: The IMDB lists only Ignacy Liss, who plays Filip, but I found Mateusz Wieclawik in the closing credits.  I don't know who he plays; no one in the show has hair like that.

Filip takes a taxi downtown.  His agent meets him: "You're 45 minutes late!  Everyone is freaking out!  I'm tired of making excuses for you!"  Sort of a jerk, aren't you, Filip Baby?

Uh-oh, the guy he owes money to is there.  Filip pays with the motorcycle money, gets his dog back, and asks if he has any more cocaine.

On to the meeting!  They rush him into makeup, complaining that he reeks of alcohol and "things go better when the models actually show up." 

The makeup lady just got engaged, and her teenage daughter shows up and announces "I'm meeting someone."  This upsets her.  Must be a subplot brewing.

Scene 5: It's one of those daytime talk shows, show, just finishing a segment with an expert on marital conflicts.  Next up: the hosts will show you how to be chic on the beach. They approach the four models.

"Filip  is presenting a beautiful red brief cut."   

Uh-oh, Filip is high: he begins giggling, then throws up, then collapses -- on live tv!  They quickly cut to commercial. 

More after the break.  Spoiler alert: He lives.

Like Cattle Towards Gloom: The mystery of the glowing cattle solved, sort of. With Nicolas Hau tree-trunking, a naked man in my bed, and unrelenting gloom

I started watching Half-Man (2026), starring Jamie Bell as a sort-of gay guy who has a sort-of homoerotic relationship with his sadistic "half brother" (Richard Gadd of Baby Reindeer),  but I had forgotten the intensity of Mr. Gadd's internalized homophobia  -- until the depiction of same-sex desire as unrelentingly dark and destructive began.  So I dropped it. What's so horrible about liking cocks?  

Next, in search of light entertainment, I checked the nude celebrity subreddit: a morose white-haired young man sitting on his bed with his cock tree-trunking.  In another shot, he's manipulating.  

I was fascinated.  What was the context?  How could anyone be morose while doing that?

 The caption said that he was Nicolas Hau, from the French movie  Like Cattle Towards Glow (2015).   You can't move toward "glow."  It would have to be a glowing object. 

A mystery to solve!  Was it a bad translation, or an old folk saying changed to gibberish with the passage of time?

According to his IMDB biography, written by himself,  Nicolas Hau "has collaborated with international directors and continues to develop a diverse body of work across film and artistic projects, with a strong interest in character-driven and visually distinctive storytelling."

This extremely pretentious bio is matched by two acting credits on the IMDB: the glowing cattle movie and The Aspern Papers (2018), based on the novel by Henry James: An American novelist wants to get the letters that  Romantic poet Jeffrey Aspern sent to his mistress, but she has them sequestered in her decaying Venetian mansion. 

Jonathan Rhys Meyers (left) stars. Nicolas plays the bisexual poet Lord Byron.

It grossed $9,700 in the U.S, and got reviews like "Awful!" "Pretentious drivel!" "Boring!"

Well, it's Henry James.  What do you expect?

Nicolas' resume also lists three theatrical credits:

Bottom in A Midsummer Night's Dream

Benjamin in The Graduate, the part originally played by Dustin Hoffman.

And Einar Wegener in Danish Girl.  In 1920s Copenhagen, Einar develops a female persona named Lili, and with the support of his wife, gradually acknowledges a female gender identity.  Lili was a pioneer in transgender history as the first person to undergo sex reassignment surgery.  In the 2015 movie, she was played by Eddie Redmayne.

Nowadays Nicolas is mostly a model.  His credits on Models.com include Vogue, the covers of Stylist and Beauty magazines, walking for Ferderico Curradi and Peuteray, "Bizarre Love Triangle" (behind a paywall), and whatever this is.

The samples he uploads to his Instagram mostly show him looking bored and pretentious while hugging a semi-nude lady.  This is one of the few where he's alone, putting on a Gaucho outfit for a shoot.

The glowing cattle and the tree-trunking photo that sent me down this internet rabbit hole after the break