Arthur Napiontek: Comedian, model, geographer, heterosexist man-candy

 

In Pineapple Express (2008),  mild-mannered process server Dale (Seth Rogen), his dealer (James Franco), and their supplier (Danny McBride) must flee from thugs trying to kill them. At one point Dale goes to the high school to tell his underage girlfriend that he won't be able to have dinner her parents, because of that fleeing thing.

But then a hot guy named Clark (Arthur Napiontek) approaches.  She praises his performance in drama class.  He returns the gym shorts that she left in his car when they worked out last week, assures Dale that he will protect her in college next year, and heads out to home economics class: "It's time to suck today's dick!"   Obviously gay, but Dale is still jealous and agrees to go to the dinner after all. 

I'm not sure if the phrase "It's time to suck today's dick" is gay-positive or homophobic.

This was Art Napiontek's first major movie role.  Although the 21 year old was cast for his comedic talent, not his physique, he took his clothes off in The Brotherhood V (2009), one of those David DeCouteau movies where straight guys bond in their underwear.  

Oddly, most of his later movie and tv roles do not involve flexing.  He did manage to take his clothes off for a gig on Conan (the talk show, not the Barbarian), but otherwise he has played a series of fully-clothed frat boys and hot guys, usually in comedies. 

Occasionally with gay content but usually not: Looking is a gay-themed series, but Boys from the Bar (2011) is about straight bartenders in a gay bar who just want to watch the game, and Switch Hitter (2015) is not about bisexuals,

In real life, Art has a wife and child and posts about how much he likes vaginas, so I'll assume that he's heterosexual. This photo spread in OK Magazine assumes that only ladies are interested in "Man Candy." 

More Arthur after the break

Marcus Hodson: Shape-shifting demon or hyper-masculine Midlands model? With nude merman bonus

On Dead Hot (2024), Marcus Hodson plays a shape-shifting demon, a hermetic Magus who travels between esoteric realms through the Eye of Horus bar and its mysterious Red Phone.  I wanted to know if he plays other mysterious Pucks or Lords of Misreason, but his IMDB listing is rather basic  Five roles, all 2022-2024: 

You Like That, a short about a gay American student in Edinburgh.

The Stand-up Sketch Show, where comedians perform "a surreal reconstruction of their own material."  Marcus is a background player in five episodes.

An episode of Domino Day, about a young witch "haunted by her need to feed on others." In Episode 2, Marcus plays a hookup who smooches with her and is eaten.

Gentleman in Moscow is about a Russian aristocrat placed under house arrest in a hotel for the rest of his life after the 1917 revolution.  He befriends a little girl who also lives in the hotel; Marcus plays her piano teacher.

He also plays one of the mermen in The Little Mermaid.

Only one other paranormal show, and he doesn't even play a supernatural being?

Not many biographical details available. A 2021 article in Pause magazine states that he is 25 years old, from Manchester but living in London. He began modeling at age 18, then started university, but left to go pro.

In spite of the paucity of biographical details, Marcus has a very active social media presence, with hundreds of posts about travel, food, and beefcake. Here he is in Greece

In Rome

On the beach.  Does Marcus have a palsy disorder in his left hand, or is he displaying some magickal gestures?

More after the break

Brock Yurich: Romcom hunks, hustlers, gay villains, nude modeling, and a big reveal

First Brock O'Hurn, and now Brock Yurich: I seem to be collecting Brocks.  After seeing Yurich as ChaseDream's Trainer in two episodes of The Other Two, I looked him up on the IMDB.  

Not much: Born May 1, 1989 in New Philadelphia, Ohio, about two hours west of Pittsburgh.  Nothing else until he moves into acting in 2011 with small roles like Fraternity Brother, Bar Patron, and Attractive Man, plus guest spots on The Two of Us, The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, and Succession.

The IMDB says that he "known for" playing Winston in Rambler (2013), not to be confused with The Rambler (2013), starring Daniel Keith as a hit-man with a price on his head. I don't know who Winston is, but in the trailer there's close-up of a woman's foot followed by a guy, maybe Brock, dressed in a South-of-Market leather outfit offering drinks and screaming.  I'm guessing a standard gay/trans villain.

Brock is also "known for" two short films that he wrote, produced, and appeared in: T-Country (2016), about a down-on-his-luck prizefighter, and 49: A Tribute to the Pulse (2017) -- the gay Latinx nightclub that was the site of a mass shooting in 2016.   That one is gay-related.

Another possible gay role: in Law and Order: Special Victim's Unit Episode 17.18, 2016, the detectives uncover a "massive cover-up in the Catholic Church." Brock plays Lance Woodstone. I don't have a lot of details, but this photo suggests that he's a hustler who specializes in BDSM scenes for priests. I can't tell if it's a homophobic portrayal or not.

After that, we move on to purely heterosexist roles. The Hating Game (2021): A romcom about two business rivals (Lucy Hale, Austin Stowall) who fall in love.  It's a "boring trifle," "sweet and sugary," or "an abomination," depending on whose review you believe. Brock plays someone named Mack, far down the cast list -- not the gay best friend.

The Love Hunt (2023) is a romcom about an heiress who has to find some hidden treasure in order to inherit her dad's estate. Brock plays the small-town working-class bloke whom she chooses over her prissy button-down boyfriend.

The Boxer and the Butterfly (2023) is a romcom about an aspiring dancer who must teach a down-and-out boxer the moves.  Brock plays her love interest.  Ok, maybe the gay projects were just a fluke.

His instagram is not very exciting.  Sure, he flexes a lot, but 3,000 photos of a bodybuilder flexing at the gym or in a nondescript room?  There are no photos of travel, restaurants, or anything of non-hunk interest, no humor, not even a lot of interesting exterior shots. And he hugs a lot of women.  Definitely straight.

This is the only humorous post, Brock in a Mandalorian mask, with the Yoda baby.

Searching for "Brock Yurich" and "nude" revealed some shots from Tyler Perry's soap opera, The Haves and the Have-Nots (2018-21),  about the relations between the rich Harringtons and the poor Youngs -- basically the plot of every soap opera ever, except that most of the cast is black.   

In Seasons 5-8, Brock plays Madison, an "openly gay" nurse at the local hospital, who develops a relationship with Jeffery, the Harrington's closeted, then out-but-beleaguered son. Actually no nudity, but the guys hug.

Real nudity after the break. Caution: explicit

Ricardo Gomez: Three gay roles, a gay actor, and some dicks, but is there anything to watch?

While researching that other Brandon Johnson, I came across Ricardo Gómez kissing a guy. Plus he had a lot of nude photos online.  So I went through his work on the IMDB to find something available in the U.S., with gay content, and not awful.

His first work available in the U.S. is the tv series Unauthorized Living, Spanish Vivir sin permiso, 2018. A drug lord with a respectable businessman facade is diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, and has to decide which of his kids will take over the business before everything goes dark.  Nope.

Bringing Him Back, Spanish Mia & Moi, 2021.  The IMDB synopsis says that the siblings Moi and Mia move to the countryside after their mother dies, but the TLA synopsis says that Moi brings his boyfriend home to meet his sister.  Looks like somebody wanted the movie closeted. 

But "a deeply affecting film about love, loss, and human connection"?  Nope.  I don't care if we do see sister's boyfriend Joe Manjon's man-jon.

And his man-rear.  And Ricardo's bulge.

More the Merrier, Spanish Donde caben dos, 2021: "A diverse group of people share a night of sexual self-discovery." A comedy con final feliz -- a happy ending. 

The trailer shows a lot of people being shocked by two girls kissing and an old guy in his underwear. Also a man licks a shoe, a man puts his hand on his buddy's chest but is rebuffed, a guy puts his dong through a glory-hole but doesn't get any action, and there's a jockstrap band. 

More Ricardo after the break

Harris Dickinson: Grindr hookup, rent boy, male model, wrestler, and all-around heterosexual

 

London-based actor Harris Dickinson broke into film with Beach Rats (2017), about a Brooklyn boy who lives a "normal" life with his girlfriend by day and by night, prowls "sordid" hookup apps looking for older men.  And it goes down hill from there: an "innocent" victim of an old perv, guys who are aggressively heterosexual in situations where you would expect them to be gay, blatant, gay-panic homophobes.  The non-gay friendly presentations are so frequent that it almost seems like Harris is seeking them out: "Is my character homophobic?  No?  Well, could we add a line or two to make him that way?"

But at least he takes off his clothes. A lot.

Beach Rats: strippng for an old guy.  Butt, and if you look closely, a little dick.

Better dick shot.

Clique (2017-): a tv series about a high school girl who falls in with the Mean Girl clique.  Harris butt during sex.

More Harris dicks and butts (and physiques) after the break.

Fire Island (2023): Myles Clohessy takes off his clothes, erases the LGBT people from a movie set in a gay resort.

  

I'm doing another trailer review, not because I want to see the movie -- the reviews were deplorably bad -- but because I want to demonstrate how deviously they erased the LGBT content.

Context: A 2022 movie, Fire Island, is a romantic comedy about guys looking for love (and sex) at the world-famous gay resort.   In 2023, a horror movie with the same title appeared, for audiences  that have no idea that the 2022 movie exists, or that Fire Island is a gay resort.

The blurb: "The perfect summer vacation quickly spirals out of control for a group of friends on the infamous, picturesque party getaway of Fire Island as they find themselves caught in a web of sex, lies and cold blooded murder."  Any idea that gay people exist here?

First, let's look at the Official Trailer:

Scene 1: A man and a woman in bed together when they get a phone call.  They climb into the car with another man and woman.  Two heterosexual couples, right?  They shriek loudly with excitement.

Scene 2: Establishing shot of the Fire Island ferry, while sinister music plays.  We see an American flag and a Pride flag. What kinda flag is that, Mabel?  I never seen such a thing.  

Scene 3: They move into their house.  More sinister music.  Late at night, Man #2 says "I have to take care of myself.  This is the best way I can breathe.  This weekend is the last fucking thing I wanted to do, but..."  

Meanwhile, Woman #1 and #2 are kissing.  The wives are having a lesbian affair!

Cut to morning, with everyone dancing around the kitchen, overjoyed to be cooking breakfast.  Man #2 and Woman #2 hug and start to kiss.  Man #1 sits on the porch, talking to Woman #1.  I guess the lesbian affair is over.  They're all back to being heterosexual couples again.

Scene 4: Uh-oh, the police find a dead guy (nice bulge in his underwear). Detective (Kresh Novakovic) thinks that it has something to do with the murders "out in the Pines."  That's where the two straight couples are staying!

Scene 5: Night.  Woman #2 awakens to an empty bed and calls for Man #2 (I assume, although the name she calls, Dan, is not in the cast list). Lights flash on and off.  

Cut to daytime. Man #2  and Woman #2 go into a house, yelling "Hello?  Hi?"

Now it's night again. Man #1 looks out the window at something scary.  I'll bet he's responsible for the murders.  

Scene 6: Old guy dressed as a hunter, in the woods, saying "Look at all this fucking b.s." or "these fucking deer." (I can't tell which: the dialogue is very soft, and the sinister music very, very loud.)  

Night again.  Man #2 and Woman #2 are in town. They see a figure in a deer mask.  They run on the beach, then into a house.  The detective, who is there for some reason, pulls a gun. Then it's morning, and they're running upstairs.

Scene 7: A split-second shot of a man and a woman dancing (wait...on pause, it's a butch/femme gay couple).  Cut to the femme one in the bathroom, with his throat slashed. 

Woman #1 wakes up in bed, wondering where Man #1 is.  He's on the beach, looking sinister.  Because he just killed a femme gay guy?  She gets up in her underwear and loads a gun.  The end.

Quick, how many of these people are gay?  Man #1 (played by Conor Paolo, top photo) is married to Woman #1.  Man #2 (played by Jonathan Bennett, second photo) is gay, and overcoming a recent tragedy.  Woman #2 is a lesbian, and in a relationship with someone who isn't on the car trip, so you'd think it was two heterosexual couples driving to Fire Island.  Plus her girlfriend looks like Woman #1, so you can't tell from the trailer that she exists.  You think the wives are having a lesbian affair. 

The Official Trailer tries very hard to make you believe that this movie is about two heterosexual couples at a resort that might have one or two gay people being eviscerated.  

But the Showtime Trailer goes even farther,  It cuts the Pride flag, the "I have to take care of myself," and the dancing/eviscerated gay guys, but adds three shots of men and women kissing.  

Left: Jared P-Smith, who plays the Bartender in a scene that doesn't appear in the trailer.

There are also three shots of a drag queen (played by writer/director Myles Clohessy's father) entertaining an audience of heterosexual couples. Each cuts directly to the deer mask person, implying that the drag queen, not Man #1, is the killer.  

The question is, why?  Why make a movie where 3 out of 5 protagonists are gay, then try very hard to hide it?  

Let's check Myles Clohessy.  He has 16 writing and 20 directing credits listed on the IMDB, but most are "upcoming."  Also 41 acting credits,  but only one gay role, in The Last Ferry.  He plays an ex-Marine who murders his boyfriend during a weekend in Fire Island.

 Interestingly, an interview in The Spirit, a local NYC newspaper, asks how he, a heterosexual, played a gay character.  He explains "I approached (the role) in the same way that I would approach any other character."   Actors used to be asked that all the time, but not in 2020.

But it may explain a lot about this movie.     

Nude photos of Myles Clohessy after the break

Derek Yates: Nude Photos of the Smiley-Emoji and Eggplant Guy

Actor/model Derek Yates has 21 credits listed on IMDB, including cops, paralegals, nurses, a sleazoid, a passenger on the doomed Titanic 666, and Rando the Smiley Emoji guy on How I Met Your Father (Sylvia didn't remember what he looked like, so he came out with a smiley-emoji covering his face and an eggplant covering his crotch).

Derek also claims to have played the Best Friend alongside Adam Devine in Isn't It Romantic.  I don't remember seeing him there, but his face is rather unremarkable.  Fans like him for his comedic talent.

His 840,000 social media followers may be even more interested in his beefcake photos. Thousands of them, so many that I actually got tired of looking. Always shirtless, usually bulging, and quite often nude.

Selfie wearing glasses.

Torso and cock. He didn't shave his chest that day.

Artistic nude

More dicks after the break

Blair's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 2: Only his abs and dick stay the same

This is a collection of hot/hung and humorous photos of Blair Jackson, the actor/model who became Kelvin's nemesis in Righteous Gemstones Episode 1.4, "Wicked Lips." Only one of the nude photos is actually Blair.

1. Teenage abs.

2. Grown-up abs.

3. Austin from "Wicked Lips" goes cruising. 

4. Going blond.

5. Blair's Starry Night.

6. You weren't looking at his face, anyhow.

More Blair after the break. Warning: explicit.

Moschino Models: Gay-positive, socially-aware, sometimes naked couture

 

Moschino Couture is a Milan-based fashion company that specializes in bright colors, reflections of pop culture, and social activism.

Although it produces clothing, accessories, and perfume for men, women, boys, girls, and nonbinary persons, anyone who can afford to pay $300 for a t-shirt, it has a special focus on sexual minorities.  

Gay Boy (parodying Playboy) and Toy Boy (a Bear) are ongoing brands, and there are usually new Pride collections every spring. 

Moschino models regularly appear in Attitude and Adonis Men.

And promoting a healthy lifestyle, with diet, exercise, and meditation

More models after the break

Jake Kelley: Modeling, arm wrestling, and nekkid cowboys

 

In 2023, Jake Kelley was an up-and-coming actor, with major roles in The Righteous Gemstones, Dogwood and the Secrets that Bind Us.  The writers' and actors' strikes have kept him off screen for several months, but he's making good use of his down time with theater and modeling.  

When he was in Los Angeles to model for  UScape Apparel (collegiate sweaters, t-shirts, and such), he took time off for a vacation.

Playing volleyball in Hermosa Beach.

Riding horses in San Luis Obispo.

Nekkid cowboys after the break