The Top 15 Hunks of the Civil War Gemstones, with some 19th century soldier d*cks

Righteous Gemstones Episode 4.1, the short film about great-grandpa Elijah Gemstone (Bradley Cooper) grifting and murdering his way through the Civil War, was a nonstop sausage fest, with a cast of 18 men and no women.  Granted, they were all soldiers, grim, grimy, injured, and dying, but still, their inner hunkiness shone through. 

 Instead of trying to profile them separately, I'll do them all at once, excluding Bradley Cooper and the three who have already been profiled (Charles Ambrose, Jackson Kelly).  With such a large group, I'll limit my research to:

* Is he gay?  A man with a wife or girlfriend will be identified as straight.  Sorry, bi and closeted guys.

* Are there any n* ude photos?  I'll just check AZ Nude Men and Instagram.  No time to look through a lot of hookup sites.

1. Jim Cummings, Pete McCabe in Danny McBride's Halloween Kills, as Captain Cane, who accuses the pretend chaplain Elijah of gambling and drinking with the guys.  He's kissing a lady a lot on his Instagram, so: straight.

Here Jim is preparing for a polar plunge.  Yow. 

2. Josh McDermitt, best known as Eugene on The Walking Dead, as Pastor Grieves, whom Elijah murders for the church offering money.  Josh is straight, but likes to pretend to be gay for comedic effect by kissing dudes, har har.

3. Lew Temple,  left, Axel on The Walking Dead, as a condemned Confederate soldier who asks conman chaplain Elijah to say a prayer for them, "send us out with a good one."  He wishes his daughter happy birthday, so I'm going to guess straight.

4. Kimball Farley, star of the indie film Hippo,  as Ned Rollins, who partners with Elijah to cheat during a card game with Captain McFall, and is later murdered.  He and his girlfriend were profiled in the Love Issue of Cosmopolitan: their first kiss was at a stoplight. Straight.

5. Paul Schneider, left, known for All the Real Girls (2003) and Lars and the Real Girl (2007), as an injured soldier.  His Instagram consists of posts about an innocent man on death row, with no personal information, but he kisses girls in a lot of his photos on the IMDB, so I'm going to say straight.

6. Charles Halford, seen here on Lucifer, as a soldier bathing in the river.  There's a d*ck shot, but it's too blurry to post.  He fills his Instagram with art and nature photos, so I can't tell if he's gay or not.

7. Tim Johnson as a soldier.  He played Squi on Freaky and Punk Boss on Daybreak. Otherwise he's difficult to research: there are over 20 Tim Johnsons with Instagram accounts, including a pastor, several "husband and fathers," a fitness trainer, and this guy.  Maybe it's our Tim Johnson, maybe not.

I can't tell if he's gay or not.

More after the break

Knox Gibson: Australian swimmer, model, "Hunger Games" baddie, disability advocate. With some n*de co-stars and random twinks

As of this writing Knox Gibson. aka Captain Knoxie,  is 17 years old,  so I won't be searching for n*de photos. But he's not shy about showing off his physique.

And I have some n*de photos of his co-stars, like Clemons Schick (left), and some random Australian twinks (after the break).

Knox grew up in Orange, NSW, a small town about 250 km (150 miles) from Sydney.  His first love is swimming: he was selected for the Australian Age National Championships four times, and placed for the breast stroke  (2021, 2024) and the individual medley (2023). 

He also swims for his high school, St. Stanislaus College in Bathhurst. In 2024, he represented NSW in the all-Australia School Sport Games, and won the silver medal in the breast stroke.

Knox's second love is modeling, both fashion and runway. 

In  2020, he wore Tommy Hilfinger for New York's Fashion Week.  

In 2023, the Bonds company did a "As Worn By Us" campaign, showing Australians of every age wearing their clothes.  Knox appeared as  "Age 16."

Knox moved into acting with episodes of the Australian children's shows Teddies and Creature Mania (2017). 

 Three episodes of Lap of Honor followed (2018), then starring roles in the shorts Midnight Gun (2019), about a journalist and "masked hero" tracking down kidnapped children, and Forgive Us Our Trespasses (2022), about a boy in Nazi Germany, where people with disabilities are murdered, running for his life.

He has also starred in two music videos, "Handyman" by Triple One (2020) and "The Road," by the Zela Margossian Quintet (2022), and commercials for Kmart, NSW Transport, and Breeze Singapore

More after the break. Caution: Explicit

Johnny Berchtold: I have good news and bad news. The good news is his cock.

I researched Johnny Berchtold, who plays the gay-vague or maybe canonically gay college student Richard Beck on Season 3 of Reacher.   

I have good news and bad news.

The good news: He is hung.

 

The bad news: The d*ck pic is from the movie A Hard Problem (2021).  Johnny plays a guy who tries to reconnect with his sister and recruits The Girl to help him clean out his deceased mother's house. Heteronormativity all the way down.

The good news:  In addition to Reacher, Johnny has a gay-vague role in  The Passenger (2023). Violent loose-cannon Benson (Kyle Gallner) decides to "fix" beset-upon fast-food worker  Randy (Johnny), killing his bullies, helping him stand up to his overbearing mother, and so on.

The script was heteronormative, but queer director Carter Smith had the actors push up the homoeroticism until they are almost a gay couple.  (Spoiler: one dies at the end).

The bad news: I couldn't find any other gay or gay-vague roles.

In Tiny Pretty Things (2023), his character is married to Claire (Katherine Hahn of Agatha All Along).

In spite of the whimsical pun-title, Dog Gone (2023) is about a dying guy and his dog, who is also dying.  He's probably straight, but I'm not sure: the plot synopsis was so disturbing that I just skimmed through.

In Gaslight (2021), which is about Watergate, not Victorian England, Johnny plays Jay Jennings, the estranged son of Martha Mitchell (wife of Attorney General John Mitchell).  He's married to a woman.

In spite of the whimsical title,  Life as a Mermaid (2016-2018) is a live-action drama about two mermaid sisters living among humans.  Johnny plays the Barnacle King, sort of a nerdish character with disgusting barnacles attached to his face.  He has a male sidekick, but I couldn't stomach watching long enough to determine if he is gay or gay-vague.

Fun fact: Life as a Mermaid is also a documentary about transgender people in Borneo.

The good news: Johnny is way into horror.  His instagram is full of photos of him in bloody and monster makeup, and getting Chucky as a roommate.  

More after the break. Caution: Explicit.

Corey Saucier: Texas model who got nekkid with Carrie Bradshaw, counseled a dying gay guy, and posted an adult video, sort of

 

I like guys who aren't very famous, where there's something to research.  Never heard of Corey Saucier, but there are two types of photos of him online:

1. Teen idol type

2. And sullen artistic model type.

Corey was born in 1988 in a suburb of Houston,  played basketball, football, and basketball in high school, and decided to become a model while at Texas State University.

This modeling photo is from 2008, when he was 20.  

According to his purple-prose bio at the Fort Agency, "Corey Saucier has shot with fittingly unique brands, such as Diesel and his handsome visage has posed for Gap, Tommy Hilfiger, Calvin Klein and Levis."

His handsome visage?  Come on, that sounds ridiculous. Visages don't pose.

He continues: “My style is a mixture of chic and rugged”

He has two acting roles listed on the IMDB, both, in 2022:

Shane in "Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered," Episode 1.8 of  And Just Like That, the update of Sex and the City.   I never saw the original, but I understand that it's about four ladies sitting around discussing sex in a gay-free New York.  He isn't listed in the episode synopsis, but apparently he gets nekkid with, I think, Carey?

And Dr. Underwood in Spoiler Alert, about a gay couple (Jim Parsons, Kit Aldritch), one of whom is dying of cancer.  Why on Earth would anyone want to watch something like that?    I assume that Dr. Underwood is diagnosing him or whatever.

More nekkid photos after the break

"Welcome to Plathville": Beefcake and bulges of a hard-core fundamentalist family, including the Boylicious model

 

Welcome to Plathville, originally on TLC but recently streamed to Hulu, is a six-season long reality series about the Plaths: "A strikingly blonde, blue-eyed Quiverfull family with 9 children in Southeastern Georgia, who are very passionate about traditional roles, their courtship rituals, music, God, and domestic life."

Brr.  Sounds too scary.  They must be wildly homophobic, but I imagine that they agreed to appear only if there were no "homosexuals" in the crew, so maybe they won't mention them at all.  Episodes appear to be soap-opera like, with marital problems, career troubles, treks into secular civilization, and lots of clickbait "dark secrets" and "startling revelations."

The elder Plaths belong to the No Greater Joy Ministries, an out-of-the-box fundamentalist cult that, other than hating homos, teaches that women must always be subservient to men -- working outside the home is a major sin, and will turn her into an evil lesbian.  Plus you must beat your children to ensure their subservience -- if you don't, they'll start to talk back and turn gay.

I'm definitely too squeamish to watch, but I'll check the Plaths for fundamentalist beefcake.

The parents, Barry and Kim, have broken up and gotten a divorce.  In my childhood church, that would have gotten them kicked out.

Their oldest child, Ethan,left,  married the outsider Olivia, who works as a photographer.  A woman working outside the home!  Shocking!

They got divorced, also.

Ethan and a buddy at the gym.

Daughter Hosanna refused to appear on the show.  She has left the family, moved to Ohio, and married an outsider.  Shocking revelation!

Daughter Moriah visited San Francisco and had sex with her boyfriend Max Kallschmidt. A dark secret revealed!

 The younger children are Lydia, Isaac, Amber, Cassidy, and Mercy.  

Micah works as a model, which means he has to work with gay people.  Uh-oh, he's doomed. 

Wait -- a model?  He must have some n*de photos out there somewhere.

More after the break.

Jason Bradley Jacobs: From a cowboy cruising in the shower to a cartoon Kentucky Adonis to...well, isn't that enough?

Insurance companies go to great lengths to produce clever commercials, but they rarely venture into the realm of beefcake.  That's why the Eastwood Insurance cowboy was so memorable.

In California in the 1990s, a series of at least 30 tv commercials showed the Cowboy riding up to a befuddled car owner, almost always a man, who was paying too much for car insurance, and "saving the day" with Eastwood's low, low prices.

The best commercials had him in the shower, naked except for his white cowboy hat, cruising...um, I mean talking about insurance to another naked guy, who seems more interested in his physique than his insurance policies.

Nudity in unexpected places is always stunning.

Besides, he had quite a smile.

The Cowboy was played by Jason Bradley Jacobs, who has only two acting credits on the IMDB:

A record company executive in Selena, 1997, about the Tejana singer who topped the Latin music charts and sang at the Astrodome. John Seda played Chris, her guitarist/boyfriend.

Maurice Charpentier in The Feast of All Saints, 2001, based on the Anne Rice novel about "the Free People of Colour" in 19th century New Orleans, "a dazzling yet damned class caught between the world of white privilege and black oppression."  Anne Rice -- shouldn't there be vampires?

It stars many recognizable African-American celebrities, including Robert Ri'chard, Ozzie Davis, Ruby Dee, James Earl Jones, Eartha Kitt, Ben Vereen, and Forest Whitaker. 

Jason provided the voice and artists' model for a character in a comic book and animated series, Plowboy in the Cornmeal Universe, created by D.W. Newman.  It is set in the Appalachia of 1978, the era of Jimmy Carter, Hee-Haw, and The Dukes of Hazzard, and emphasizes the "raw physicality and blatant sexuality."

More after the break

Searching for Nate Stone through pastors, pole vaulters, porn stars, photographers, and a plethora of penises

When I was researching the Disney Channel teencom Bunk'd, I checked for nude photos of the adult cast members, and came across Nate Stone, who played Timmy: he moved out of the camp to live in the woods during Seasons 1-2.  

Living in the woods, he must be a counselor.  So I searched for "Nate Stone" and "nude" and found a lot of photos.

A lot of photos, apparently all from Nate's OnlyFans page.

Turns out that Timmy is not an adult, he's one of the campers.  At the end of Season 2, he is adopted by the family of his friend Doug (Owen Atlas, left). 

As of this writing, Owen Atlas is 16 years old. The Bunk'd Nate Stone couldn't be more than a year or two older, say 17 or 18.

The guy in the OnlyFans photos must be another Nate Stone.

But which one?  There are dozens with social media profiles, even if you exclude "Nathans."

1. A graduate of the University of Washington who devotes his life to starting new churches.

2. A "part-time mature male model" (left)

3. A photographer from Oahu.

4. A heterosexual porn performer known for Bed Sharers

5. A guy from Indiana who works for Rolls Royce.

6. A lacrosse player at Brevard College in North Carolina, right.

7. A hockey player at Gustavus Adolphus College in Minnesota

8. A swim coach at Benildes-St. Margaret Catholic High School in Minnesota.

More Nates after the break

Marcus Hodson: Shape-shifting demon or hyper-masculine Midlands model? With nude merman bonus

On Dead Hot (2024), Marcus Hodson plays a shape-shifting demon, a hermetic Magus who travels between esoteric realms through the Eye of Horus bar and its mysterious Red Phone.  I wanted to know if he plays other mysterious Pucks or Lords of Misreason, but his IMDB listing is rather basic  Five roles, all 2022-2024: 

You Like That, a short about a gay American student in Edinburgh.

The Stand-up Sketch Show, where comedians perform "a surreal reconstruction of their own material."  Marcus is a background player in five episodes.

An episode of Domino Day, about a young witch "haunted by her need to feed on others." In Episode 2, Marcus plays a hookup who smooches with her and is eaten.

Gentleman in Moscow is about a Russian aristocrat placed under house arrest in a hotel for the rest of his life after the 1917 revolution.  He befriends a little girl who also lives in the hotel; Marcus plays her piano teacher.

He also plays one of the mermen in The Little Mermaid.

Only one other paranormal show, and he doesn't even play a supernatural being?

Not many biographical details available. A 2021 article in Pause magazine states that he is 25 years old, from Manchester but living in London. He began modeling at age 18, then started university, but left to go pro.

In spite of the paucity of biographical details, Marcus has a very active social media presence, with hundreds of posts about travel, food, and beefcake. Here he is in Greece

In Rome

On the beach.  Does Marcus have a palsy disorder in his left hand, or is he displaying some magickal gestures?

More after the break

Joe Canoli's canoli: frontal nudity and erotic promise from the groovy 1960s

Readers were asking about Joe Canoli, one of the random hunks in the Season 2 Gemstone Memes. 

Walter Kudzincz, born in 1925, began photographing his well-hung buddies and boyfriends, establishing a catalog of guys in skimpy outfits pretending to be cowboys, pirates, or gladiators, trying to avoid being overtly homoerotic, as was required by the strict censorship and intense homophobia of 1950s society.    You could get them via mail order, or in "fitness" magazines like Physique Pictorial and Tomorrow's Man.  

In 1952 Walt met Jim Stryker, an 18-year old recent high school graduate, pranking his friend by urinating on him from a tree branch.  Stryker became his friend, lover, and the top-selling model in the gay male subculture for the next ten years.

In 1962, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that male nudity was not necessarily obscene, and in 1965, magazines began printing frontal nudity, allowing Walt to challenge the "chaste," closeted gay models of the earlier generation.  It was the era of the psychedelics revolution, the sexual revolution, the youth counterculture, and the more open, out gay subcultures that would culminate in Stonewall and the Gay Rights Movement.  The modern gay man was willing to admit that he liked to look at cocks as well as muscles.

So Walt's Champion Studio models got naked.  Sometimes their photos were campy and cool, brightly colored, "mod," groovy.  Sometimes they made fun of the posing-strap cowboys and football players of the uptight 1950s.  Sometimes they were unabashedly erotic.  

I'm covering a lot about the life of Walt Kudzincz because I have found almost nothing about Joe Canoli.  This  is the earliest photo I could find, taken between 1962 , when rear nudity was permitted, and 1965, when you were allowed to go frontal. 

More after the break

Arthur Napiontek: Comedian, model, geographer, heterosexist man-candy

 

In Pineapple Express (2008),  mild-mannered process server Dale (Seth Rogen), his dealer (James Franco), and their supplier (Danny McBride) must flee from thugs trying to kill them. At one point Dale goes to the high school to tell his underage girlfriend that he won't be able to have dinner her parents, because of that fleeing thing.

But then a hot guy named Clark (Arthur Napiontek) approaches.  She praises his performance in drama class.  He returns the gym shorts that she left in his car when they worked out last week, assures Dale that he will protect her in college next year, and heads out to home economics class: "It's time to suck today's dick!"   Obviously gay, but Dale is still jealous and agrees to go to the dinner after all. 

I'm not sure if the phrase "It's time to suck today's dick" is gay-positive or homophobic.

This was Art Napiontek's first major movie role.  Although the 21 year old was cast for his comedic talent, not his physique, he took his clothes off in The Brotherhood V (2009), one of those David DeCouteau movies where straight guys bond in their underwear.  

Oddly, most of his later movie and tv roles do not involve flexing.  He did manage to take his clothes off for a gig on Conan (the talk show, not the Barbarian), but otherwise he has played a series of fully-clothed frat boys and hot guys, usually in comedies. 

Occasionally with gay content but usually not: Looking is a gay-themed series, but Boys from the Bar (2011) is about straight bartenders in a gay bar who just want to watch the game, and Switch Hitter (2015) is not about bisexuals,

In real life, Art has a wife and child and posts about how much he likes vaginas, so I'll assume that he's heterosexual. This photo spread in OK Magazine assumes that only ladies are interested in "Man Candy." 

More Arthur after the break