Gemstones Episode 4.2, Continued: Pontius' private parts, Gideon's butt buddy, and JR's junk. Plus Karen from "Will and Grace" sings

 

Previous: Gemstones Episode 4.2: Baby Billy's dong, BJ's pole, Kelvin's pipe, and the Clobber Verses.

In Part 1, the conflicts of the seasons were introduced: Eli is looking for meaning, BJ for independence, and Keefe for a wedding ring. Next up: Jesse and his Cain-and-Abel sons, Pontius and Gideon.

Pontius' Private Parts: Jesse taping a commercial for his new line of Prayer Pods, like privacy pods except that inside you can pray, play Bible Bonkers, listen to a sermon, and so on.  He forces the entire family into one.  It's a tight fit: Pontius, sitting on his lap, deliberately farts in his face.

In the dressing room, we get some back story:  Pontius (top photo and left) got kicked out of the Citadel for low grades, and  because he was posting videos of his buddies sticking firecrackers up each other's butts.  

That sounds like slang for homoerotic activity, but apparently it's a real thing: people put fireworks in their friends' butts as a prank.  

I still think Ponty is hinting at homoerotic interests..

Amber notes that you can "hurt your privates doing things like that, but Pontius insists that his privates work fine, disgusting his parents.  Darn, now you have viewers checking out your bulge.

Gideon's Butt Buddy: Jesse can't communicate with his father Eli, but Gideon has no trouble: "I call Granddad, or he calls me."  

This enrages Jesse, who calls them "butt buddies."  Amber points out that the phrase actually refers to "sodomy," so he backs down: "I didn't mean it like that.  I'm not trying to say that he's trying to f*k Daddy in the ass."  Of course not, Gideon is a bottom.

This is a continuation of the Eli-Gideon relationship from Season 3, so it shouldn't come as a surprise.  I'm wondering, however, if Gideon is ever going to have a relationship with anyone outside the family.  His last friend or boyfriend was Scotty, who died at the end of Season 1.  Your Granddad has overcome his grief and moved on, Gide Baby; maybe you should, too.

Abraham's got nothing: Poor Gavin; his last plot arc was in Season 2, and it was about masturbation.  Looks like he's got nothing here, either; after the Prayer Pod commercial, he sits by himself and plays on his cell phone, just entering the conversation to laugh that his Dad is "butthurt" over Gideon's relationship with Eli.  

Amber criticizes that phrase as referencing "sodomy" also.  What you got against anal sex, girl?

Karen arrives:  The siblings are getting jetpack training from J.R. Rodriguez (good idea), when it's time for the friend or relative from Eli's past to arrive and shake things up: Baby Billy in Season 1; Junior in Season 2; May-May in Season 3; and now "Mama's bestie," Lori , played by Megan Mullaly, Karen on Will and Grace.   

Everyone rushes to hug her; Kelvin blurts out "I love you."  It sounds like he means it in a romantic way.  Is he going to dump Keefe for the old lady?  They discuss how much they miss Aimee-Leigh.

She explains that she hasn't visited for awhile because she's been doing dinner theater in Pigeon Forge -- the Smokey Mountains home of Dolly Parton's Dollywood and other countrified attractions.  An article in Focus, the Tennessee LGBTQ magazine, calls it a "Gay Mecca."

Maybe not a mecca; it's still overwhelmingly "family friendly" conservative fundamentalist Christian. They had a "Gay Day" at Dollywood in 2004, but horrified protests caused it to not be repeated.

More after the break. Caution: Explicit

Skyler's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 5: Bathtub pic, glory hole pic, hanging with Scotty pic. With Corenswet and Hoult backsides

 

This is a collection of cute/cool or hot/humorous photos of  Skyler Gisondo, star of The Santa Clarita Diet and The Righteous Gemstones, and Jimmy Olson in the upcoming Superman: Legacy.  

1. "Another photo collection?  Haven't you seen enough of me?"

I can't help it, buddy.  You keep posting homoerotic pics.

2. And now that you're starring in Superman, we have David Corenswet to worry about, too.

3. And Nicholas Hoult/Lex Luther

4. "Hey, I thought this was a photo collection about me."

Sorry.  How about a long-hair bathtub pic?

5. "Have you met my girlfriend?"

Odd time to introduce her.

6. I don't care what you do in private, but let's get back to the homoeroticism.  Tell me about your relationship with Scott McArthur when you were filming "Righteous Gemstones" Season 1.

"We really carped the diem… from frisbee golf courses to to swamp tours to bondage... I mean bluegrass concerts to cock...I mean chasing down the best fried chicken sandwich in Charleston."

More after the break.  Caution: explicit

Gemstones Season 1 Memes: Kelvin bottoms, Gideon falls in love, and Keefe checks for semen loads

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Gemstones Season 1 Finale: Judy and Kelvin begin to heal, Scotty joins the family, and we say goodbye with some random dicks

Previous: Episode 1.9, Continued: Kelvin goes dark, Keefe goes down, and Captain America saves the day
 

Showrunner Danny McBride has stated that he wants every season of his programs to tell a complete story: no callbacks to previous seasons, and no cliffhangers.  By the finale, every plotline has been resolved and every character development arc has been concluded.  He also hates downbeat endings, so the season finale tells us that "they lived happily ever after"  

The Season 1 primary plot featured Gideon betraying the family, first by blackmailing Jesse over the tape of his sex-and-drugs party, then by planning to steal the Easter offerings from the church. He also betrayed Scotty by failing to acknowledge their romantic bond.  Secondary plots involved Eli butting heads with Rev. Seasons over his church expansion, and Kelvin and Judy dealing with obstacles in their relationships.  The finale ties all of the plotlines into a single theme: forgiveness.

Back in Freeman's Gap :  Church. In his sermon, Eli describes his visit to Aimee-Leigh's childhood home, where he interacted with her spirit.  Cut to a flashback of the siblings collecting the money that Baby Billy and Tiffany stole from Scotty's van.

He continues: "We move through this world, crossing paths with friends, family...and I believe that the goal of all that colliding is to make us appreciate one another, to find empathy." Shots of Martin, Mandy (Chad's wife), and Chad, sitting far away from her. 

Rev. Seasons is redeemed: Cut to a flashback of Rev. Seasons  (Dermot Mulroney) working in a hardware store (Baptist churches are autonomous, so if one closes you don't automatically get placed elsewhere). Eli offers him a job as pastor of the satellite church that Baby Billy abandoned. Rev. Seasons was a secondary Big Bad, but Eli stole his flock, so we are not sure who needs forgiveness more.

"If you're not rooting for your enemy's salvation, you are not in line with what the Spirit wants."  Shots of Dot Nancy and her parents, BJ, Keefe (working security again), Martin's wife, a couple I don't recognize, and Jesse's crew (Matthew, Gregory, and Levi).  Notice that BJ and Keefe are linked, structurally presented as the partners of Judy and Kelvin.  They won't begin sitting together until Season 3. 

Scotty is redeemed: "Aimee-Leigh knew this. That's why she wanted to help, no matter what."  Shot of the spirit of Aimee-Leigh sitting in the congregation, glowing in ethereal light, with Scotty beside her. 

He looks more bemused than happy, surprised that he has been forgiven, wondering how he came to be sitting here, after all the pain he caused Gideon and the Gemstone family.  Remember that both BJ and Keefe had to suffer symbolic deaths before they could unite with their partners.  Did Scotty, in death, become Gideon's partner?  

Maybe, in spite of his machinations, posturing, criticism, and threats, in spite of the hints of abuse, this is what Scotty wanted all along.  After all, the goal of the two schemes was to draw Gideon away from his family so they could spend their lives together. Maybe he couldn't admit it to himself, so it came out in random bursts, like calling Gideon "cute," taking him out on dates, and finally admitting, just before his death, that "you broke my heart."  Aimee Leigh helped him understand what he needed, what he wanted, and she has made him a Gemstone.

Baby Billy grifts: "For when you forgive other people when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will forgive you."  Cut to Baby Billy and Tiffany selling their new gimmick, pictures of his trip to heaven. I guess they haven't been redeemed yet. 

Kelvin and Judy start to heal: "How we navigate this life,  and each other, is what defines us, and what leads us on the path to healing."  Cut to Judy and Kelvin in makeup, getting ready to perform, smiling. 

Before this season, the siblings spend their lives crippled by the traumas of their past. Unable to believe that they were worthy of being loved, they sabotaged every potential relationship, Judy by defining herself soley as a sexual being, and Kelvin by denying that he was a sexual being at all.  In this season they found partners who loved them in spite of their spitefulness, selfishness, and general craziness, in spite of Judy's obsession with the phallus and Kelvin's fear of it.  Forgiven, redeemed, they have started on the road to healing.   

The conclusion and cocks after the break

Gemstones Episode 1.7, Continued: Bisexual fish, Thai brothers, and Scotty with a broken heart. With a Thai dick bonus

Previous:  Episode 1.7, Keefe is in love, Scotty is hard, and everybody s*ks dick. With photos of guys doing it

Earlier in this episode, BJ left Judy due to her constant abuse, and Gideon left Scotty...for the same reason?  He also abandoned the plot to steal the Easter Sunday offerings. . 

Exclusively Female Fish: That night, Jesse and Amber are congratulating each other on his performance, when Gideon appears, fortunately with no scrapes or bruises from his fight with Scotty.

He tells them that Scotty had to leave town unexpectedly, and Jesse praises him for helping a guy who was "down on his luck."  Then he encourages Gideon to share his "special news" with Amber.

He says: "I'm not in love with Scotty."

 "In love with Scotty?" Amber repeats, confused.  I'm confused, too.  That wasn't the special news. Jesse just finished saying that he was helping the guy, not dating him.  Is Gideon trying to convince himself?

He clamps down: "I'm not.  I'm just your son, regular."  

Now Jesse seems to be convinced that they were dating after all, and encourages Gideon to bounce back: "there's a lot of handsome fish in the sea."  Gideon says that he's looking for "female fishes exclusively.  It was just a...."  

Just a what, Gideon?  Just a one-time thing?   It's impossible not to conclude that Gideon and Scotty had a sexual relationship.      

"Ok, so you're bi," Jesse concludes. 

Gideon protests that he's not bi, but his parents are so supportive, or he is so uncomfortable with the conversation, that he just lets it go, leaving the question open.

I suspect that the showrunners were unsure, when they planned the scene, if Gideon or Kelvin was going to be "the gay one."  When they decided on Kelvin, they were stuck, and gave Gideon no romantic or erotic interest in anyone through Seasons 2 and 3.  

Or maybe Scotty was Gideon's "true love."  On this show, "true love" lasts through time and eternity, whether you want it to or not.

You made your choice:  Later that night, Scotty returns to the compound.  Security chief Brock waves him through (Gideon really should have told him that Scotty is no longer welcome.)  Remember that his blackmail van is in Kelvin's garage?  He breaks the van through the garage door.  Keefe sees him but thinks it's just one of Jesse's car pranks.  The partners were kept completely in the dark.  If only Kelvin had been a little more forthcoming, Keefe could have called security.

Scotty then kidnaps Jesse and Gideon and takes them to Eli's house, where Eli  hands over the key to the church vault.  Wait -- how do they get OUT past security guard Brock?

At the church, after they load up the money, Scotty ties Jesse and Gideon back-to-back in the vault, where they'll be rescued Monday morning,  and punches Gideon.  "We could have been a killer team, the pussy brothers of Thailand," he says, nearly in tears. "Coordinating low-budget kung fu pics during the day, slammin' ass at night."  Presumably he means girls, but you never know.  

"But you made your choice, and you broke my fuckin' heart."  Remember, Jesse said earlier that betrayal by a "loved one" can break your heart.  

It appears that Scotty had romantic feelings for Gideon..  He just didn't know how to express or experience love without manipulation, threat, and control.

Despondent,  he drives away, while the background song describes precisely the sexual acts they engaged in, and why Gideon didn’t “just leave.” 

Creeper got mad and angry eyes – one look from him can paralyze.

Upon his lips the taste of pain, venom kiss of love insane

He got a rod beneath his coat – he gonna ram it right down your throat.

Make you grovel on the floor, spit up and scream and beg for more

I've been to Thailand  Some fascinating historical and cultural sites, temples, and museums.  Plus wall-to-wall gay clubs.

Bonus Thai dicks after the break

"How do I know if I'm g...."?: A Young Gideon Story

This story features Gideon Gemstone (Skyler Gisondo) of The Righteous Gemstones as a teenager.  All of the subjects of n*de photos are over 18.

“Hey, Bro,” Pontius called, rushing up to Gideon’s locker at the Riverpointe Christian Academy in Charleston. 

“Hey, yourself.”  Gideon was a bit suspicious: his younger brother rarely talked to him at school.  Sometimes he didn’t even accept a ride home, preferring to call one of the Gemstone drivers to avoid being seen with a “glee club nerd.”  An odd insult, since Gideon didn’t belong to Glee Club.

“Are you staying after for gymnastics?”

“No, that’s on Tuesday and Thursday. Why, what do you need?”

“Well, a ride home.”

“Why – the drivers are both busy, and your pogo stick’s in the shop?”

Pontius smiled, either not noticing the dig at his age, or too invested in whatever he wanted to care.  “And  can we stop for pizza on the way?”

This was really suspicious -- Pontius never invited him to go anywhere.  Maybe the age difference was too great for them to really be friends – Gideon was in eleventh grade, with a girlfriend and college plans, while Pontius in eighth grade still played with toys.  

Maybe they didn’t have much in common – Gideon was into gymnastics and acrobatics (he loved tumbling with Uncle Kelvin at the Gemstone Teen Center), while Pontius was into…well, hanging out with his buds and telling dirty jokes.  Or maybe they just didn’t like each other.  He must want a big favor, Gideon thought.

 They climbed into the Lexus that Granddad Eli gave him for his sixteenth birthday and drove down to Famulari’s, the go-to pizza place for all of the Gemstones, probably because the delivery guys didn’t mind driving ten miles out to the Compound.  The moment they sat down, Pontius said, "Ok, here’s the thing. I want to have a sleepover Friday night, and you have to come."

"No way, José! 16-year olds do not go to slumber parties.”

“You used to like them.”

“Sure, and I used to like Battlebots, too. I grew up.”

From his 10th birthday until last year, when he graduated to the high school building at the Academy, Gideon and Pontius hosted sleepovers at least once a month. They each invited two or three friendss, plus their younger brother Abraham by default. 

They spent the night playing video games, watching tv, eating snacks, and bragging about how late they were staying up.  Then they bedded down in the Kid Guest Room, Pontius and Abraham on the top bunk, Gideon and another boy “on the bottom,” and the rest in sleeping bags.   Gideon always took awhile to choose his bed partner: not necessarily his best friend.  Maybe even one of Pontius’s friends, if he was cute. 

How did I know which boys were cute?  Gideon thought, surprised by the memory.  Why did I care?

"We haven't had one for a long time!" Pontus protested.  "And Mom says I can't have one by myself – you have to be there, too."

The waiter came – a rather chunky, sandy-haired guy from Gideon’s Biblical History class – and they ordered their usual bacon-cheeseburger pizza (sometimes Mom and Dad called for something “healthy,” and they had to scour the menu for healthy toppings.  What kind of pizza topping was healthy?).

“What will my friends say if they find out I went to a sleepover with a bunch of eighth grade dorks?  What will my girlfriend say?”  He and Katie had only been dating for three weeks, but Gideon mentioned her every chance he got. “Katie likes lima beans. Katie’s aunt lives in Belgium.  Katie’s favorite Harry Potter character is…”  

"They won't all be dorks," Pontius said.  "How about if you can invite some of your friends. Whoever you want.”

"As if!  My friends are way too cool for sleepovers!”

"Well, maybe not one of your friends, just guys that you like.  You know, want to spend time with, like the guys that Uncle Kelvin hangs out with”

Gideon felt the anger rising.  “I do not want to spend time with guys like that, Jackass!  Uncle Kelvin is gay, and I have a girlfriend!”

Pontius laughed.  “You dummy, no way is Uncle Kelvin a homo!”

“How do you know?”

“Number One, he’s got muscles.  Number Two: he works with kids…”

“You’re an idiot. Gay guys have muscles sometimes, and they can work with kids like anybody else.”

Pontius sneered. “Number Three, he never brings a little fruity friend to the family dinner….”

“Maybe he’s afraid to bring a boyfriend around. Granddad Eli might kick him out of the church.”

“Number Four: He doesn’t live in California,”  Pontius said with a flourish, as if that was a definitive argument.  “Why do you want Uncle Kelvin to be gay so much?  Are you in love with him?  Do you want to, like, hug and kiss?” 

“Dude, that’s my uncle!” Gideon said, disgusted.

“Ok, so if he wasn’t your uncle, you’d be all into him.”  He made pucker sounds. “Oh, Thweetie, your muscles are so big! Kiss me again!”

“You’d better stop talking trash about me if you want me to come to your darn sleepover.” 

“Ok, ok, sorry…Thweetie.”  He giggled. “Now pick two guys that you want to invite. Somebody you want to spend time with.”

“Someone you want to spend time with” made sense to Gideon.  Maybe a guy who was a little standoffish at  school, or constantly involved with his own clique.  This could be his chance to break through and make a friend.

"Ok, let’s go for it. For my first boy I pick Derek from Gemstone Teen Time.”  A tall, blond 10th grader with a round angelic face.  For some reason he went to public school, not the Academy.  When he got the lead in the drama club production of Oklahoma last fall, Gideon made his Mom and Dad and brothers all go to see him, but they didn’t hang out afterwards. 

"No problemo.  Derek and me are tight."  He paused.  "So...who's the second boy?"

More after the break.  Caution: Explicit

Cullen Moss: Two drag queens, two homophobes, a security guard, a fairy, and a frontal

 

Cullen Moss is one of those actors who you've seen in a dozen tv shows and movies, but he is so completely immersed in the role that when you see him again, you don't recognize him.  

Born in Brooklyn but raised in North Carolina, he graduated from Mount Tambor High School in 1993 and moved immediately into local North Carolina theater.  A lot of iconic and gay-positive roles:

Stanley in A Streetcar Named Desire

Puck in A Midsummer Night's Dream

Alan Strang, the one who gets naked on stage in Equus

Clifford Bradshaw, the Christopher Isherwood character, in Cabaret

The drag queen Albin in La Cage aux Folles

The closeted, homophobic Roy Cohn in Angels in America

His tv career began with some voiceovers in the 90s, followed by a starring role in One Tree Hill, 2003-2012, as Junk Moretti, a high school student with a "girlfriend who lives in Canada" (we've all been there; mine lived in Paris). 

Later Cullen has played a detective in Your Honor, a cop in The Walking Dead, and ..his list of credits on IMDB goes on like that.

In a two-episode story arc on Eastbound & Down in 2013, Cullen played Mark, "the smarmy, slow-motion punching, donut-gifting smuck of a rental car company manager," boss of Danny McBride's washed-up baseball player.

This led to a role as Brock, head security guard of the Gemstone Compound in Righteous Gemstones Episodes 1.6 and 1.7.  Scotty, Gideon's "friend from California" and co-conspirator in the blackmail scheme, flirts with him to get easy access to compound, even asking for shirtless photos.

Brock returns in Episode 1.9, to deny BJ admission after he and Judy break up, criticize his name, and act like a macho jerk.

He returns in Episode 2.3, to announce that Eli's friend Junior is at the front gate.  Eli says to not admit him, and they argue.

More Cullen after the break

Gemstones Episode 1.7: Keefe is in love, Scotty is hard, and everyone s*ks dick. With pictures of guys doing it.

 

Previous: Episode 1.6: Kelvin sees Keefe's cock, and gets a big head.

In Episode 1.6, after the blackmail plot fell through, Gideon and Scotty came up with a plan to steal the $3,000,000 in offerings that the church receives during the Easter service.  Gideon had doubts, but then Scotty showed up at his parents' house, pretending to be a friend visiting from California! 

Title: "And yet one of you is a devil."  From John 6.70. Jesus is complaining that he chose 12 disciplines, and one will betray him.  I guess we know who the devil is.

Prayer Power: A flashback to the Prayer Power Convention in Atlanta.  Gideon comes into the hotel room, upset: he was planning to have dinner with his Dad, but Jesse ditched him to play drinking games with his crew.  Jesse insults him, ridicules his upcoming internship and "California dreams," and orders him out.  On the way, Gideon sets his camera to take the video he would use for blackmailing.  So he didn't run away; the family knew that he had an intership set up. Why did Jesse act as if it was a big mystery.

Gideon the soul-winner: In the present, Scotty is having dinner with the family.  He explains that he came to South Carolina for a stunt job, but he "got banged up" and had to drop out.  Then he says that he came to see Gideon, who brought him to Christ. The family is so overjoyed that the "prodigal son" has become a soul-winner that no one notices the contradictions.

Uh-oh, Jesse recognizes Scotty from somewhere!  His cover is almost blown, but Scotty claims that he had a recurring role as a rapist on CSI Miami.  Rapist -- interesting choice, since CSI is about murder (you gather forensic evidence from the crime scene).  Scotty is painting himself as a sexual predator.  I wonder if Gideon is his latest victim.

Amber insists that he stay with them. Gideon protests, but Scotty touches his hand, and he consents.  So, Scotty, do you want a guest room, or would you prefer to share Gideon's bed?

We cut to a scene of Eli giving the siblings their Easter assignments; Judy will sing during the collection, Jesse will preach the sermon, and Kelvin has to lead a youth group song and dance number, which angers him (he's the youth minister; what did he expect?)

Shirt on, shirt off:  In the morning, Scotty and Gideon stop at the security station on their way out of the compound.  Hey, Scotty has his arm on Gideon's shoulder.   Everybody who sees them will think that they are a romantic couple.   Scotty flirts with security guard  Brock: "If you get to L.A., I'll get you an agent."  But he needs head shots, shirtless shots, and so on.  This is way more than Scotty needs to get access to the compound.  He just wants to see Brock naked.  

I'm gonna be rock-hard: Cut to the guys having dinner (score: three dinners for Scotty/Gideon, none for Kelvin/Keefe).  They discuss the plan: on Sunday morning, after the offering is counted, Gideon and Martin will take it down the service elevator to the vault.  Scotty will be waiting, wearing his devil's mask, and rob them.  How will he get out of the church, with thousands of people milling about?

"As soon as the elevator door opens," he promises, "I'm gonna be rock-hard."  

"Nothing too big," Gideon cautions.  He can't help his size, dude.

To make it believable and not implicate Gideon, Scotty suggests tying him up, and using a few P-whips. This term is not defined online.  Could it mean penis-whip?

Scotty has more news: He got the sex tape fixed, so he can do the original blackmail plan in addition to robbing the church. "This is what you always wanted," he says. "We destroy your old man."  Gideon is not so sure that he wants Jesse destroyed.

Tell TJ to walk out: Cut to Judy announcing to Baby Billy that they will be performing during the Easter service. But Baby Billy doesn't want to: "too little, too late."  BJ protests, and Billy orders him to leave.  Judy agrees: "You're making me look like an idiot.  Go outside!"  Uh-oh, disrespecting your boyfriend.  Since the Kelvin/Keefe plot runs parallel, we should be expecting some discord in their relationship soon.

Billy continues: "Your Daddy is a fame whore.  He'd suck a man's cock in the middle of town square if he thought it would make him famous forever. He'd suck ten men's cocks."  Being outed as gay or bi is the most embarrassing thing Billy can think of. This may suggest a general attitude of homophobia that will make Kelvin's coming out difficult.

Part of the Family: Jesse takes everyone  out on his yacht.  Scotty complements the family on how close they are,  His own dad is in prison.  Jesse offers to be his Daddy, and hugs him.  Eli never once hugged Keefe.  Of course, it's just an act; Scotty waggles his tongue at Gideon over Jesse's shoulder, a vulgar gesture similar to what Keefe experienced at the sports bar.  Wait -- is he teasing Gideon, or offering to have oral sex with him?

Is it all an act?  Scotty seems to like being part of the family.  The background song tells him: 

The days are getting brighter – the sunlight feels like gin.

Juices punch and cider shiver deep within

You don’t have to be alone, when we’re having so much fun.

Don’t be alone

The Prayer Circle: Just before the Easter service (17,000 people in the Salvation Center, six million world wide), Eli, the siblings, their partners, and Martin have a prayer circle, Kelvin/Keefe are holding hands and praying.  Scotty is holding Keefe's hand and glaring.  Why isn't he standing next to Gideon, his "friend"? 

I Have to Be a Man:  We see a few moments of Levi's Christian rock number, then switch to Kelvin leading the teens in their song-and-dance.    Keefe, working security in the bleachers, seems to be making an "I love you" gesture. 

Meanwhile, Gideon is in the bathroom, throwing up, and Judy rejects Eli's offer of singing during the offertory.

Cut to Judy's dressing room.  She criticizes BJ for asking if she's ok.  He counters that he is not even religious, but he has always been there for her.  She continues to berate him for attempting emotional support until he's had enough and leaves: "I have to stand up for myself.  I have to be a man." He starts crying and runs away. Judy throws her engagement ring after him.  .

"What is a man?" is an ongoing question of the season.  It was discussed in Gideon's "welcome home" dinner.  Kelvin declares that he is "a man" frequently.  The definitions are contradictory: being muscular; controlling your emotions; being in charge; standing up for yourself; being heterosexual.  Maybe we'll get a resolution when the episode continues.

Guys doing it after the break.  Warning: explicit.

Gemstones Episode 1.6 Continued: Scotty flirts, BJ is spanked, and Kelvin says "Let's hook up." With bonus Kenya cock

Previous: Episode 1.6: Kelvin sees Keefe's cock, and gets a big head.  Sounds like a fun evening

Earlier in this episode we saw a lot of innuendos about Kelvin and Keefe's relationship going to the next level.  Now it's time to concentrate on Gideon and Scotty.

They are very rude: Since the van is gone, Scotty has to live in a tent. Why doesn't Gideon spring for a cheap hotel?   Gideon tries to help him set it up, but he goes dark again: "I'm tired of this shit, and I'm tired of your fucking family! They are very rude people!"  But at least he looks hot in a black vest with no shirt.

"The van in my uncle's garage," Gideon tells him.  Completely ransacked, with all of Scotty's stuff taken.  Scotty is irate: he needed that stuff!

Cut to Jesse and Kelvin informing the crew that they have the van. Inside they found a sleeping bag, tongs, a copy of L. Ron Hubbard's Dianetics (so Scotty is a Scientologist?), some potato chips, some beans, soiled Q-Tips, and yellow, crusty paper towels. Conclusion: the blackmailers are "fucking amateurs."

Suddenly all of them get a phone call from Scotty.  He wants his van and his stuff back, or "I'm a fuck your life in the ass."  I'm surprised no one riffed on that.  "I'm a release the video."  

Back at the campsite, Scotty and Gideon clasp hands.

Jesse doesn't think he has the video, and tells him to fuck off.

My Slim 3: After scenes with Baby Billy and Judy at the Salvation Center, rehearsing. and Jesse and his crew (without Kelvin) throwing their ceremonial coins into the swamp, we return to the campground.  Gideon has brought lunch for the two of them (Subway-type hoagies). but Scotty goes beserk, destroys his sandwich, and yells that he's going over to the Compound right now to kill Jesse.  Gideon points out that this will keep them from getting the three million dollars from the church's Easter offerings.  Scotty gives up the plan, and grabs Gideon's sandwich, a "Slim 3."

Kelvin comes out on top: Meanwhile, no doubt as a reward for his success with Dot Nancy, Eli has assigned  Kelvin the job of learning enough Swahili to greet the Kenyan refugees who will be welcomed into the church on Sunday   He's already learned fuju karibu, which means "mess around," "have sex."  (He wanted karibu, "welcome."   Uh-oh.)  Judy disapproves, and physically assaults Kelvin. 

Why Kenya, when it's a haven for refugees, not a source  (it's the 13th largest asylum country in the world, with 650,000 refugees)?  Maybe because Swahili is the most well-known African language (viewers might not recognize Hausa or Xhosa). Or because it's 60% Protestant, so joining the Salvation Center makes sense. 

Jambo instead of Karibu: After a scene where Jesse tries to reconcile with Gideon (they admit that they "like" each other), we cut to the church.  As the Kenyan refugees file onto the stage. Kelvin says "Jambo!" and tries to make small talk ("I like your outfit!"). Keefe hands each a white rose.  Two takeaways here: Kelvin is pushing up the flamboyance, and he and Keefe are already inseparable. 

Meanwhile, Eli yells at Baby Billy for stealing his daughter ("Just like you took Aimee-Leigh").  

Spank that ass:  Judy is in her dressing room, preparing to perform with Baby Billy at the satellite church.   BJ offers her some tea to calm down, but instead she pulls down his pants and wants to spank his bare butt.  He refuses, so she slaps his dick: "Let's see that snowy white dick!  I need a release, dude!'  

He refuses again,  but he does gift her with a soda machine (a parallel to Kelvin's), and retreats to the car so she can masturbate.

This scene is parallel to the "mushroom head" scene earlier in the episode. Both partners become nude, BJ by design, Keefe by accident.  Judy's response is aggressive, masculine-coded, while Kelvin's is passive, feminine-coded. Judy's attempt to make everything about sex, and Kelvin's attempt to ignore his erotic desires, create the conflicts with their partners that will lead to their breakup and reconciliations.

More after the break

Gemstones Episode 1.4 Continued: Dot drives Kelvin crazy, Keefe refuses a bj, and Gideon and Scotty date, With bonus Daedalus dick

Previous: Episode 1.4 : Keefe looks for love in a sports bar, and Kelvin meets a girl.

Earlier in Episode 1.4, we learned that Keefe is gay, and Kelvin is afraid of sex, or maybe just the phallus. Next we see a normalization of the Gideon-Scotty relationship.  Instead of being terrorized by Scotty, Gideon seems to actually like and care about him. This suggests disagreements among the showrunners about where the characters should go, similar to seeing Kelvin and Keefe as good buddies in one episode and romantic partners in another.

I'll let you buy me dinner: At the campground, Gideon gives Scotty the intel he learned from Martin: they receive an offering of over $1,000,000 on normal Sundays, but on big holidays, $3,000,000.  It's counted and placed in the vault overnight Sunday. On Monday it's deposited into the bank.  Wait -- is that all in cash?  Don't people just throw a few bucks in the offering plate?  If they're going to donate a lot of money, they'll write a check, or just have it deducted automatically from their bank account.

Scotty "goes dark" for a moment, brags about his own stuntwork, and criticizes Gideon's.  Then he becomes downright friendly and says "I'll let you buy me dinner."

You Shine:   Kelvin appears at Dot's lacrosse practice at North Jackson High School.    The background music, Sweet Cheater's "Summer," seems to suggest a sexual interest:

It's driving me crazy, making me wild in the summer, 

Spending my time alone with you

Take a ride, baby, to the stars, in the backseat of my car

Ooh yeah, it feels so right, you belong with me tonight

.

 Her friend concurs: “Who’s that creepy man?”, “man” instead of “guy” highlighting Kelvin’s inappropriate age, but Dot assures her that he’s harmless, “just an asshole from church.” 

 He swishes down from the bleachers and squeals “What’s up, girl!” like the flamboyant gay friend in a romcom, a queer code that signifies his utter lack of romantic or sexual intent.

He apologizes for the Satanic Sweep, oddly characterizing it as a “hang” between friends, and invites her to a teen trampoline party at the Sky Zone tonight: “No presh, just come by. If you like it, great.  If not, you’ll never see me again.”  This is the rhetoric of someone who wants to make a friend, not find a girlfriend. 

When she agrees, Kelvin adds: “What if we go no boyfriend tonight. Just you.  You sparkle without him – know that.”  Austin is too old for the teen group, so he wouldn’t be permitted anyway; Kelvin is simply stressing that Dot doesn’t need an older boyfriend, or “semen loads,” He skips off, still the flamboyant gay friend: “It’s gonna be fun, girl!”  

When the episode first aired, some very desperate fans took it as evidence that Kelvin was straight, and interested in Dot, but what straight guy would ever make a date and then skip off with a "It's gonna be fun, girl!" 

Dot at the Youth Group:  We cut to the youth group meeting at the Sky Zone, an indoor trampoline park on Wando Park Boulevard in Mt. Pleasant, a suburb of Charleston with many Gemstone sites. Lots of kids somersaulting on bouncy-walls, and Keefe stretching Kelvin from behind as he groans "Harder. Harder.   Yeah, oh, that's good."  Acting like they're having anal sex, har har.

Left: random twink

Notice that they're both wearing "Faith Factory" T-shirts, but none of the kids are. Keefe is now Kelvin's assistant youth minister. 

Dot appears.  Kelvin is "super-pumped that you didn't bring your idiot boyfriend."  Do you still think he's straight, after the sex joke?

He clears a space.  Keefe says: "These feats of physical strength are amazing."  Yeah, Kelvin is hot.   He performs some professional-looking acrobatic stunts.

Gideon and Scotty's Date: Dinner is pizza and beer at the Shem Creek Restaurant in Mount Pleasant, to the rather suggestively sexual song “You Knock Me Out.” 

The way you talk when you say what you see

Your smile breaking my words – you knock me out.

The way you shake it, baby -- what’s on your mind?

The way you get when you get down – you knock me out. 

Apparently Scotty or Gideon, or both, are overwhelmed by the intensity of their passion.

 Scotty calls Gideon "Little Lord Fauntleroy,” a rather archaic phrase for a fragile, polite, feminine-coded “sissy,” named after a character in the 1886 novel by Francis Hodgson Burnett.  In the 1936 movie version, Freddie Bartholomew’s Ceddie is redeemed through a homoromantic bond with the tough Mickey Rooney    Likewise, here Scotty seems to be trying to masculinize Gideon, complimenting him on his ability to smoke, drink, and swear:  "I like this side of you, man."  They smile at each other, caring boyfriends far removed from the toxicity of Scotty’s earlier rant.

Gideon explains how he came to make the video: things were tense between him and Jesse, so his mom made him go to a prayer convention.  Jesse had his friends in his hotel room, and didn't want Gideon around. "Dude wanted to fuck," Scotty says, the act coming to mind because of what he intends for later.

So Gideon left, but on his way out, he hid  hid his phone with the video on, in case anything interesting happened.  He ended up taping Jesse's sex-and-drugs party, and decided to blackmail Jesse to "get even."

Scotty envisions their new life in Thailand, after stealing the money from the vault. He mentioned the ladyboys earlier, but it's worth repeating that Thailand is a well-known destination for gay tourism.  He also wants to repair the hard drive containing the sex-and-drugs party video, so "we fuck your Daddy in the butt again."  Very graphic way of putting it.

Then he recalls their first meeting.  Gideon was wearing a wig to be the stunt double for a woman (wigging," remember?), and Scotty was attracted: he came up behind him and grabbed "like you were a little piece." He means "a piece of ass," a potential sexual partner.  Apparently he likes people who are androgynous or nonbinary.  

Left: Gideon's butt.  

He continues: "But you weren't.  You were a friend."  Gideon didn't mind being grabbed; apparently he liked it, since he accepted being drawn into a relationship.

 "And I get you.  I know you way better than your family does."  He sounds like an abusive boyfriend: "No one understand you but me." 

We cut to another scene on this busy Friday night: Jesse and Amber counseling Chad and his wife Mandy about the aberrant emails ("we were just fooling around").  Of course they mention cum again ("Water squirt emoji does not mean 'cum' -- it means ejaculation"),  And we're off to Club Sinister.

Satanist cock after the break

Gemstones Episode 1.3, Continued: Gideon acts like a woman, Kelvin acts like a man, and chubby guys show their d*cks

 

Previous: Episode 1.3: Kelvin outs himself, Scotty shoves a wiener into Gideon's face, and Jesse gets it all wrong.

God offers one thing:  Eli and Baby Billy attend a service at Locust Grove Baptist Church. where Rev. Seasons preaches.  The sermon: when people pray, they're really asking God to give them stuff.  But God only offers one thing: His love. Yawn -- Baby Billy is bored.  His church offers razzle-dazzle.

Later, at an after-church potluck, Baby Billy tries to mediate between Eli and Rev. Seasons, but it doesn't work: "Get the hell out of my church.  I got nothing to say to you."  Eli counters that he's been spreading lies about the Gemstones.  

Then: "What do you want, Eli?  You've got everything, and you want more.  Why are you so hungry?"  Eli responds by throwing a baked potato through a church window. Baby Billy is here the voice of reason.

As Eli stomps off, followed by a conciliatory Baby Billy, Rev. Seasons makes a throat-cutting gesture at some of his congregants.  We will see their dicks later.

Later, Baby Billy argues with Eli: he has to live in Locust Grove, and Eli is out there making him enemies.  "Well, what could I do about it?" Um...not throw a baked potato through his window?  Eli, increasingly unsympathetic, dismisses Baby Billy as a "two-bit con-man."  He never cared about the family, not even his sister Aimee-Leigh.  

Baby Billy calls him a "righteous Gemstone dick" and quits the Locust Grove job. 

The Family Dinner:  Next, Gideon goes to work for Martin, ostensibly to learn church operations, but really looking for a new way to steal a million dollars. Jesse disapproves, hurt that they decided on this new job without consulting him.

 Later, the family gathers for a "welcome home" dinner for Gideon at Jesse and Amber's house.  

This is the only time that we will see the family here; later family dinners will be held at Jason's Steak House. Notice that Kelvin sits on the left side, between Pontius and Gideon, as if he is a kid.

Gideon is discussing his stunt work: because of his slim frame, he stunt-doubles for women a lot: it's called "wigging."  Jesse disapproves of him "pretending to be a woman." Amber defends him: it's just for the stunt, because "he's very manly," not feminine, not gay.  Notice Kelvin's reaction: he does not like this conversation at all.  He keeps his head down, worried that someone will apply it to him.

But the industry is moving toward having women stunting for women, so no more wigging.  Jesse mocks him: my son is sad "cause he can't pretend to be a woman for money anymore."  He's really pushing the hegemonic masculinity here: behavior that men are expected to engage in, and punished if they fail: being important/ in charge, aggressive, stoic, politically and socially powerful, muscular, and heterosexual.

BJ thinks that "representation of marginalized peoples is a big deal," so if a script calls for a woman to fall off a building, a woman should do the stunting.  Amber disagrees, promoting stereotypic gender polarization: "only men should jump off buildings."

Finally Kelvin has had enough, and changes the subject: "Wasn't Baby Billy supposed to be here tonight?"

The party devolves into a fight between Jesse and his son Pontius. He blames Pontius's bad behavior on Gideon leaving: "Actions have consequences."

Kelvin's Basketball:  After things calm down, Judy and Kelvin find Jesse in the back yard, crying, the super-masculine guy exhibiting "feminine" emotion.  He asks if they have come to make fun of him.  Judy: "Well, Kelvin has."  

Notice that Kelvin is carrying a basketball. Where did he get it?  Did he bring it with him, as a "welcome home" gift for his adult nephew?  Did he pick it up from an off-camera basketball court?

This is the only time in the series that Kelvin exhibits an interest in any team sport, or any athletic activity other than acrobatics and bodybuilding.  I wonder if he is trying to project a stereotypic masculine image in response to the talk about "acting like a woman."  

Dicks after the break