RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

Nathan Kress, Freddie from ICarly, grown up. Is he still homophobic? Is he still shy about showing his dick?

Many Nickelodeon shows of the 2000s had strong homophobic subtexts, and ICarly (2007-2012) was one of the worst. Miranda Cosgrove starred as Carly, who hosts an internet comedy show with her butch-but-straight buddy Sam (a girl) and nerd-next-door-with-a- stereotyped crush on her, Freddie (Nathan Kress).

They are supervised by her wacky bi-subtext older brother, Spencer.

On the way, the contempt for gay men, or as Sam calls them, prancies, oozes out in joke after joke. The most egregious is Spencer being chased down and arrested for appearing in public in a dress; cross-dressing has not been a crime in any American city since the 1970s.

I especially disliked Nathan Kress, amd not only for the horribly cliched "unrequited crush" plotlines. As he bulked up, he steadfastly refused to permit beefcake photos. To an extent, that's his choice: his body, his rules. But when you choose a career that depends on displaying that body, and further set yourself up as a teen idol, you have a sort of obligation to your fans.

More annoying was his reason for failing to post beefcake: he was a way, way conservative fundamentalist of the "hating ten gays before breakfast" variety, and he didn't want girls and prancies getting ideas.

Today Nathan's instagram is full of wife-and-children pictures.

Still hardly any beefcake, unless incorporated into the wife-and-kid pictures.

And he's still ultra-fundamentalist.

I wouldn't find this mug so annoying if I didn't know that Nathan's God is good only to heterosexuals.

I don't know who the crazy looking friend is.

More Nathan after the break

It was an Instagram page consisting of 30 or so photos of this guy flexing, all posted in July 2026.

Sometimes wearing glasses and a cowboy hat. His name was Xale Spider.

He's also got a Spider Xale Instagram, with photos of Spider-man, real spiders, his sister, who is wearing a University of Wisconsin sweatshirt, and his Dad, who seems to own a carpet store.

I found SpiderXale on X, with 24,000 followers but no content except for a few "sensitive content" photos, and "New York." Wait -- what about Wisconsin?

He seems to be a redhead now.

It linked to a site called Fansly, which seems to be like OnlyFans. You pay $9 per month for "Hot Content." Except there are no examples, and now his name is Egor Xale.

More after the break. Caution: Explicit.

This one wasn't my fault. I saw the Instagram recommendation while on my cell phone: Jonathan Tillson, a cute short guy who looks like Harrison Houde, Bowie on Some Assembly Required. Plus he has beefcake shots, and he's obviously gay -- the first 12 photos on his Instagram show him hugging, riding the back of, and visiting Greece with his boyfriend. Perfect for a profile!

But when I returned on my laptop, the recommendation was gone, and Jonathan Tillson is a white-haired comedian from Boston.

Maybe Tillotson? Or John instead of Jonathan?

It took a lot of sleuthing, including going through my search history and cache, to find short, obviously gay actor Jonathan Tison.

I like profiling little-known, obscure actors rather than superstars, and Jonathan has only five acting roles listed on the IMDB:

A 2014 episode of the true-crime docuseries Snapped: In Mississipi in 2006, a woman killed her estranged husband, but talked her thirteen-year old half-brother (played by Jonathan) into confessing to the crime.

A 2018 episode of the true-crime docuseries Murder Calls: In Oklahoma in 2011, a woman claims that an intruder broke into the house and killed her husband, but actually she did it. Jonathan plays Young Tim, but there's no Adult Tim in the cast list.

A 2018 episode of the true-crime docuseries Murder By Numbers. Dallas cops track down the Eyeball Killer. Jonathan plays the teenage Eyeball.

You're getting typecast, buddy.

Jonathan wrote, directed, and starred in two shorts:

Fade From View (2025): A teenager (Jonathan), "caught in the fallout of his parents' divorce," goes to live with his grandfather. They bond "in the stillest hours past midnight."

Left: I think this is Jonathan's backside.

At least it doesn't begin "After the death of...", like 90% of these vanity projects.

Joint Hatred for Paul (2025): Writing partners Noah (Jonathan) and Ava discuss how much they hate Paul Shoeman (not a real person, and not in the cast list).

But wait -- there's more. Jonathan has a personal website where he identifies as an "actor, singer, dancer, adventurer" from Knoxville, Tennessee, who began performing at age nine, and has worked on professional, regional, and LORT stages. He specializes in "The Earnest Boy-Next-Door, whose infectious smile tries to distract from the truth his eyes can't hide."

His resume lists ten theatrical credits, but most are identified as "family-friendly," which means "heterosexuals only." I'll check those that don't have the FF label:

Double Helix, a musical about the woman who helped discover the structure of DNA, while facing misogyny and anti-semitism. Jonathan played her coworker, Raymond Gosling, who was straight in real life.

Titus Andronicus. He played Lucius, son of the violent warrior-king. Straight.

Urinetown has no specifically gay characters, but sometimes productions play up the gay subtexts. But Jonathan's character, Bobby Strong, gets The Girl.

Left: Bobby was played by Richard Fleesman in the London production.

She Loves Me: Jonathan played Arpad, the teenage delivery boy who has a gay-subtext bond with shop owner Maraczek in this ancestor of You Got Mail.

One gay-subtext role out of 15 theatrical and on-screen performances is not a great record, Jon Baby. But at least you're going to show us your cock, right?

More after the break. Caution: Explicit

The 18 best Gemstones stories: Kelvin with Percy, Cousin Karl with Vance and Percy, Keefe with Gideon, Pontius with Stacy. Plus Abraham comes out

I never wrote fan fiction before, but I got the urge frequently during the run of The Righteous Gemstones, to "fix" terrible plotlines, expand upon minor characters, and respond to the incessant "that doesn't make Kelvin gay" fan complaints. There are 25 on Archive of Our Own, but I've only reposted 18 here:

Before Season 1

How do I Know If I'm G...: Pontius pressures his older brother, 16-year old Gideon, into coming to his sleepover. He invites the "juvenile delinquent" Manny, gets his first kiss, and wonders if he is g___.

During/After Season 1

My Boyfriend and my Satanist Ex-boyfriend at Thanksgiving Dinner. Kelvin wants them to stay closeted at Thanksgiving Dinner with Keefe's family, but his ex-boyfriend, Daedalus, is coming, too, and wants to get back together.

Is there Sex After Death? Scotty dies in Episode 1.8, but Grandma Aimee-Leigh guides him through all the moments of Gideon's life, so he can forgive him for all the moments lost to pettiness and fear.

Kelvin and Keefe under the Christmas tree. After the events of Season 1, everyone thinks that Kelvin and Keefe are boyfriends -- except for Kelvin.

During/After Season 2

BJ's Angels. I envision Gideon and two members of the God Squad getting jobs as detectives in a Charlie's Angels parody, with BJ as Charlie.

During/After Season 3

Bondage doesn't solve everything. There were several hints in Episodes 1-2 that Kelvin and Keefe were into BDSM, so I wrote a story where they guys break up during a BDSM scene, then reconcile when Kelvin arranges for Keefe to get a job as manager of the Gemstone Health Club.

Kelvin's Rebound Date with Percy. Percy appears in just one scene, as an interior designer working on the church board room. In this story, Kelvin is distraught after the Episode 3.4 breakup, and his siblings suggest that he move on...with a date with Percy.

Gideon Moves out of the Friend Zone. After the Episode 3,4 breakup, Gideon gets the nerve to ask Keefe out. They have a hookup, but is that enough to move out of the friend zone?

The Kiss Heard 'Round the World. The day of the Episode 3.8 Kelvin/Keefe kiss, seen through the eyes of Amber, Gideon, Eli, Judy, Keefe, and Jesse.

More after the break