"A hot groin and a tricep": Nude photos of Peter Hinwood, the original Rocky Horror. With Ian McShane, Morgan Jackson, and Chord Overstreet.

 

A deltoid and a bicep
A hot groin and a tricep 
Makes me --- shake.
Makes me want to take Charles Atlas by the...hand

Every gay man of a certain age had a coming out or "I'm not alone in the world" moment while watching  The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975), a science fiction-horror pastiche with the "sweet transvestite" alien mad scientist Dr. Frank-n-Furter  unwrapping his creation, muscleman Rocky (technically named Rocky Horror).

Give yourself over to absolute pleasure

Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh

Erotic nightmares beyond any measure

And sensual daydreams to treasure forever

Gay men of a certain age have seen Peter Hinwood and his "hot groin" many, many times, in the midnight shows, on VHS, DVD, Blu-Ray, and streaming on Netflix every Halloween.  But you may not know that there are nude photos of the muscle god out there.

Born in Bromley, about 10 miles south of London, in 1946, Peter Hinwood began his career as a photographer's assistant, but soon began modeling for English Boy Ltd.  By 1970 he was at the top of the industry, driving fancy cars, going on expensive vacations to Tangier, and hanging out with celebrities like director Derek Jarman and Mick Jagger of The Rolling Stones.

Not just fashion -- he also appeared in the physique magazines of the closeted gay subculture of the era.  He made the cover of Man's World in March 1967.

Peter began his acting career as a muscleman, naturally, playing the God Hermes in an Italian adaption of The Odyssey (1968)

Next he played Guy in Tam Lin, an adaption of the old Scottish folksong (1970).  Also appearing were British stalwarts Ian McShane (Charlie in If It's Tuesday, This Must Be Belgium) Wick) and Joanna Lumley (Patsy in Absolutely Fabulous), and the director was Tab Hunter's boyfriend Roddy McDowall.

In the original Rocky Horror Show performed in London (1973) and Los Angeles (1974), Rocky was played by svelte, feminine, androgynous men, but for the 1975 movie director Jim Sharman wanted a muscle god, massive and inarticulate, speaking only in grunts (his singing voice provided by Trevor White).  Peter was cast after showing his...um...porfolio.

Edina: How was it?

Patsy: Fantastic!

The result: 50 years of ab-so-lute pleasure.  And more to come.

I am just seven hours old

Truly beautiful to behold

But somebody should be told

My libido hasn't been controlled

Now the only thing I've come to trust

Is an orgasmic rush of lust

Rose tints my world

Keeps me safe from my trouble and pain

After Rocky Horror, Peter had a small part in Sebastiane (1976), Derek Jarman's gay adaption of the St. Sebastian mythos, with Leonardo Treviglio as the Christian seduced by and then martyred by the Emperor Diocletian.

Then he left acting, and, valuing his privacy, refused to participate in Rocky Horror events.  Also, he admittedly can't act, and "cringes" whenever he sees himself on film. He became an antiques dealer, along with his "partner in life and business" Christopher Gibbs.  They divided their time between London and Tangier.

More after the break.  Caution: Explicit.

"House of Guinness": Heirs to a beer empire in 1868 Ireland. With a gay brother, shirtless hunks, Irish hiphop, and a heck of a lot of dicks

 

I've been having trouble recently, beginning reviews of movies and tv shows and then not liking them, or when I like them, there's no gay representation or nude photos, so I can't review them here. So this time I cheated by checking in advance: there's a gay character in House of Guinness, and lots of the actors have appeared nude.  Here's a dick now.

Episode 1 Prologue: Closeup of the beer-making process, with the ingredients, water, hops, and so on.  A sweaty bare-chested bloke adds the fire.  I like this tv series already.  Then comes family, money, and rebellion.  

Scene 1: St. James Gate, Dublin, 1868:  As As Foreman Rafferty (James Norton, left) walks through the factory, a dude asks if there will be trouble today. Of course, there's always trouble with the Guinness Family.  

Outside, someone throws a beer bottle at the logo, and a gang of Prohibitionists burn an effigy of Benjamin Guinness: "A brewer of sin and debauchery!"  His funeral is today, and they are intent on preventing his procession from making it to the church.

The Temperance Movement was nearly as popular in 19th century Ireland as in the U.S., attributing almost all crime, poverty, disease, and insanity to alcohol consumption.  

Meanwhile, Fenian Leader Patrick (Seamus O'Hara) tells his followers than the Guinness heirs  are weak and divided, so this is a perfect time to free Ireland -- by attacking the funeral procession!  "Grab whatever weapons you can find, but spare the horses -- all horses are Catholic."

England occupied Ireland until 1922, forbidding the use of the Irish language, discriminating against Catholics, and promoting stereotypes that are still common today.  There were lots of revolts, rebellions, and terrorists acts, notably from the Fenian Brotherhood.

In the factory (very impressive set, lots of workers), Foreman Rafferty tells the men to arm themselves.  They have to fight to get the boss's corpse through to the church.

The battle is accompanied by the hiphop song "Get Your Brits Out," by Kneecap. Ordinarily I dislike contemporary music in a historical drama, but not when it's mostly in Irish:

Ach Stalford agus an DUP 

Gach lá, taobh amuigh de mo theach

"Go back to Dublin if you want to rap"

Anois éist, I’m gonna say this once

Yous can all stay just don’t be c*nts

 

Scene 2: Iveagh House, the Guinness family home (built 1736, now the headquarters of the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade).  Femme, decadent Edward (Louis Partridge) complains that his button-down conservative brother Arthur (Anthony Boyle) has been in London so long, he's lost his Irish accent.

The third brother, Benjamin (Finn O'Shea, top photo) is asleep on the couch, still hung over from one of his benders.

They discuss the hypocrisy of everyone pretending to grieve, when the Irish hated him, and the English are happy that he is gone: now they can manipulate the children.  

Sister Anne tells them to shush their bickering; it's time for the funeral, and they have to act like a civilized Christian family: "Decadent Edward, change your shirt. Drunken Benjamin, change into some clothes you haven't slept in. Conservative Arthur, just change." 

Left: Louis Partridge's butt.

Scene 3: More of the battle, while inside the church the minister praises Old Man Guinness, who brought the Catholics and Protestants together, and represented Dublin in Parliament.  The children keep eyeing each other and other people in the congregation, with whom they no doubt have a history.

Scene 4:  In a pub, Fenian leader Patrick congratulates his men on their performance in the battle.  He tells his sister about their next step: they're going to break into the cooperage and burn all of the barrels, so the beer can't be shipped out and the brewery will go under!  

Sister has a better idea: she's been talking to the maids and other staff, and three of the four children have secrets that could destroy them. One of them will be taking the seat in Parliament vacated by their father; they can blackmail him into pushing for Irish independence!

What those secrets are (and an *roused penis) after the break. Caution: Explicit.

"Mobland": The sons of rival crime families date. Of course it ends badly. With Brosnan butt, four dicks, and Gavin Munn

Mobland (2025) on Paramount Plus, is about warring London mobs.  The youngest son in a crime family is usually gay, as we have seen in Gangs of London, Shameless, Greenleaf, Animal Kingdom and The Righteous Gemstones.  

Eli Gemstone's son Kelvin  and grandsons Pontius and Abraham  (Gavin Munn, right) are all gay.  At least in my fan fiction.

Besides, it stars Pierce Brosnan, so I'll check out Episode 1.1, "Stick or Twist."

Scene 1: Harry (Tom Hardy, who played a gay mobster in RocknRolla, 2008) is hosting a mob summit where the capos,  speaking various languages (all immigrants?), are arguing over a mishap involving a spoiled side of beef.  Mehmet and Costas agree to a truce, but only with a handshake, not with an apology.  That might be good enough: Harry goes to the restaurant upstairs and reports to his Dad (Pierce Brosnan), who doesn't think that it will stick.  Besides, Mehmet and Costas have been skimming off the top.

Back downstairs: Harry orders his goons to kill them all. Equal opportunity assassins: one of the goons is a woman.   Dad inspects the corpses, finishes off one ("You whore!"), then announces that there's a gap in the brown business; call the Maltese and ask for their offer.

Scene 2: Two guys at a club.  Tommy (Felix Edwards) and wants to go home, but his Boyfriend Eddie (Anson Boon, gay in real life) argues that they still have "a date with Destiny...and Bethany and Alexis and Zari."  So that's two girls each, or are they planning to share all of them?

Left: Anson's d*ck.

On the way to the orgy, they run into Tommy's friends Mink (Lucas Ely, straight in real life) and Kingster. (Jake Dove, can't tell) Boyfriend wants to rush him along -- the girls are waiting!  -- but Tommy would rather hang out with the guys.  Prefering male company to a hetero orgy?  He's gay.  Boyfriend fumes.

On the way, the guys take a photo: Tommy and his Boyfriend belong to rival mob families, so dating --- um, hanging out -- is epic.  Boyfriend throws their phone out the window.  "Nobody can know that we're dating...um, hanging out!"

Scene 3: Boyfriend Eddie suggests an exclusive leather/S&M club that he belongs to.  He's only permitted one plus-one, but he bribes the bouncer to make it a plus-three.  Inside, it's mostly leather-clad girls dancing. Not a gay club, darn it. 

Eddie flirts with a girl and threatens a leatherman, while the other guys look embarrassed.  The manager rushes over to complain about him bringing three guests instead of one. 

Uh-oh, Eddie splashes a guy with his drink, then insults him, and when he complains, stabs him to death.  Security tries to grab him, but he climbs onto the roof and escapes.

At the park, Eddie runs into Tommy, who is hyperventilating. "You really fucked that one up."

"He was reaching into his back pocket.  It was self-defense."  Then why did you run?

"You're a mad c*nt, Eddie."  In Britain, it's the equivalent of "asshole," applied to men and women.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of you."

More after the break

Bleu Landau: The EastEnders bad boy grows up, plays for Sheppy United, lives in a world of men. With his tree trunk and Keanu's cock

This guy appeared among the new photos on one of my male celebrity sites.  I like your retro 1950s hairstyle and tight chest, buddy, but to get a profile, you have to be an actor or former actor, and  answer "yes" to at least one of these questions.

1. Are you gay in real life?

2. Have you played gay characters?

3. Do you have a nude frontal available?

A little research makes the answer to #1 obvious.  Very cool for your boy to keep groping you while you're being photographed.

 

Your new guy has his pants open, and you've moved your hand away just before the cell phone click. Might as well leave it there; this looks like a private men-only party, so no one cares.

#1 is answered, but what about #2: any gay characters?

Bleu Landau (nice name) was born in Bexley, south London, in 2005, and raised on the Isle of Sheppey, Kent.  In 2015, he landed his first on-sceen acting gig, playing Dennis Richman, Jr. on the soap EastEnders.  He stayed for 231 episodes, through 2021.  

The son of Sharon Watts and Dennis Rickman, who was murdered before he was born, Denny enters the story when he is kidnapped on the day of his Mum's wedding (by the groom!), then rescued by Mum's ex-lover Phil (Steve McFadden).  They live with Phil for awhile, and then with the younger brother of Phil's enemy (Scott Maslen, left), who teaches him to box.  Then back to Phil.

Dennis gets into many fights at school, notably with Bobby Beale (Clay Milner Russell), after accusing him of murdering his half-sister.  This leads to an auto accident, a severe injury, and a new guardian, who abuses him.  And back to Mum Sharon and Phil.

Denny's life goes on like that, more and more violent, with gangs and drugs, plus various abusive guardians, injuries, assaulting pregnant women (twice), spying on girls in the locker room, being kidnapped (twice), having girlfriends with incurable diseases, and discovering the truth about who murdered various acquaintances (lots of times).

Left: Keanu (played by Danny Walters) helps Stepdad Phil with a robbery, then goes to work at his auto shop.  He saves Denny from a gang, and has an affair with Mum Sharon, who kidnaps him. Just go with it.

In 2020, main protagonist Ian Beale discovers that Denny was responsible for putting his son in the hospital,  and traps him on the lower deck of a boat to get revenge.  But the boat sinks (due to Keanu and Phil fighting), and Ian is unable to free him in time.  This happens while Mum Sharon is giving birth to Denny's brother, which could be either Keanu or Phil's.

In 2021, a baby is left on Sharon's doorstep. Various men are suspected of being the father, but it turns out to be Denny's

Well, it was a soap opera.  What did you expect?

More after the break.  Caution: Explicit

The New "Doctor Who," Season 2: The gay doctor fights robots and cartoon characters, and gets a girlfriend. With bonus Groff and Projectionist penises

The latest Doctor Who, that  time-and-space faring adventurer from the planet Gallifrey (played by Ncuti Gatwa), is the first to be black, and although there have been bisexual hints in the past, the first to be gay.  In Episode 1.6, he even gets a boyfriend, an interdimensional bounty hunter named Rogue (Jonathhan Groff, left).

At least, he was gay in the first season. 

I watched the first two episodes of Season 2, and I am sorry to report that the gay guy has turned straight.

In Episode 2.1, "The Robot Revolution," the teenage Belinda Chandra receives a gift from her sort-of boyfriend: a star.  It seems that you can "buy" a star and get a certificate stating that it's yours.  They break up soon after.  

17 years pass, and one night gigantic robots arrive to force Belinda to become the queen of "her" planet.  Apparently the certificate was a binding contract.

Left: Robert Strange plays the head robot.

To complicate things, the robots have taken control of the world.  Humans are forced into smiling servitude.  

The Doctor, stranded on the planet for the last six months, is starting a revolt with a squad of hunky humans, including Caleb Hughes and Max Parker, left.  

Soon into the revolt, the Doctor's girlfriend is killed.  Grieving, he explains that when he first arrived on the planet, she took him in and explained the situation.  "She took care of me.  She was wonderful."   The other freedom fighters tell him to buck up, they have a world to save.

The robots announce that Belinda is to marry the great AI Generator, who turns out to be the ex-boyfriend (Jonny Green, left), merged with a machine.  Belinda dumped him due to his controlling behavior, and this is the only way he could think of to get back together again. Maybe send her flowers?

So this was all about heterosexual romance?  They had an episode with an astronaut and his husband.  Two of the Doctor's companions have been lesbians.  How the mighty have fallen.

The Doctor and Belinda save the day.  Belinda asks to be taken home, but his space-and-time ship, the TARDIS, refuses to go to the day she left.  Maybe the next day?

In Episode 1.2, "Lux," some people are watching a movie in 1952 Miami.  Before the main feature, there's a cartoon featuring Mr. Ring-a-Ding, whose catchphrase is "Don't make me laugh!"  While he is busily romancing Sally Sunshine (yes, another hetero-romance), he jumps off the screen to scream at the audience.

Enter the Doctor and Belinda, taking a detour on the way home.  They notice that the theater door is chained, as if there's a wild beast inside.  

More after the break

"The Thursday Murder Club": Retirees solve murders. With Pierce Brosnan, Tom Ellis in a kilt, some gay hints, and bonus d*cks

 

The Tuesday Murder Club is currently #2 on Netflix.  Residents of an old person's home solving a "cozy murder" doesn't sound appealing, except that one of those old people is Pierce Brosnan, the suave, sophisticated, and well hung (according to Adam Devine) leading man of 1980s tv. 

Scene 1: In May 1973, a man is walking back from the pub to the flat of his girlfriend (heterosexual identity established in Minute 1), when he  heard two voices arguing.  Suddenly the girlfriend falls from a second-floor window.  She has been stabbed.  A masked intruder rushes away.  By the time the police arrive, she is dead.

In the present, three old people discuss the case in a palatial drawing room.  I'll call them by their jobs before the retired: Labor Union Activist (Pierce Brosnan), Psychiatrist (Ben Kingsley), and Spy (Helen Mirren).  Nothing had been taken from the flat, so robbery is an unlikely motive. The boyfriend, Peter Mercer, mechanic (played by Will Stevens), disappeared soon after the murder.  But did she die from the fall or the knife wound?  How long does it take to bleed out?  They need someone with medical expertise to help.

Scene 2: Establishing shot of the old people's home, Cooper's Chase, an ornate palace that must belong to royalty. A retired Doctor and her adult daughter tour the painting classes, archery lessons, and llamas used as comfort animals. Whew, I'm moving in.  Inside, they run into the Murder Club with their diagrams and crime scene photos.  Daughter is shocked, but Doctor is intrigued. 

Daughter doesn't want her mother living there, but Doctor insists (it's usually the opposite in the States).  She wants to make new friends, and she can't do that in an apartment in a city full of young people: they don't want anything to do with her.  Really?   Since I turned...um, whatever age this is... the twinks have been banging down my door. 

When Daughter leaves, the Doctor rushes downstairs to get the details of the Thursday Murder Club. They can use her medical skills to solve the cold case, so she's in!

Scene 3:  Evil Ian (David Tennant, left) drives through a quaint village (now I'm depressed; we don't have quaint villages in the States).  On the phone, Lloyd (not listed on the IMDB)  tells him that his wife wants the house, the car, and the apartment in Majorca.  Back story: she's divorcing him because he was unfaithful.  Heterosexual identity established immediately.

At the Red Lion pub, Evil Ian tells his Buddy Lloyd his evil scheme: to maximize his assets, he's going to go forward with clearing out a cemetary to build something disrespectful.  Who cares if grandma's remains are still there?  "Oh, and we're also tearing down Cooper's Chase, the old people's home."

"But the old people won't like it.  And some of them were very rich and powerful in their day."

"Who cares? It's my bloody land. The only real issue is Tony Curran, part owner of Cooper's Chase.  He won't agree to the demolition because his Auntie is a resident."

Left: Lloyd isn't listed in the IMDB, but maybe the subtitle writer made a mistake, and his buddyy is Bogdan, played by Henry Lloyd-Hughes (his penis is sort of visible).

Evil Ian wants to hire Buddy Bogdan to manage the destruction project.

"Sure, I'll take the job, but Tony Curran is a dangerous man. Maybe he kill you."

More about Bogdan: he's a Polish immigrant who needs the work to send money home to his elderly mother.

Scene 4: At Cooper's Chase, Dangerous Tony Curran has brought biscuits (cookies) for his Auntie ("your favorite," of course -- everybody in movies is always told that whatever they are eating is their favorite).   

The Thursday Murder Club walks by and says hello.  The Doctor asks who he is, and they explain -- but we already know, so the explanation is unnecessary, except the assertion that "he's on our side," against Evil Ian's scheme to destroy the home.  Another movie about people saving things, yawn.  When are we going to get to the murder?

On to cake and the cold case: In 1973, the boyfriend of the defenestrated girl was questioned and released, not a suspect.  But the only female police officer, Inspector Penny, wasn't so sure. She asked to bring him in for re-questioning, but "the boys' club closed ranks," and he vanished.  Something fishy about it.  Still not important to the plot.

Inspector Penny, by the way, was a member of the Thursday Murder Club, and brought in the case.  But she is in the hospice wing now, dying, so she can't contribute any more.

Scene 5: Cut to the hospice wing where the Spy s telling the comatose Inspector Penny about their new member.  Holding her hand and calling her "darling"?  Are they girlfriends? No, there's a man sitting with her, too, doubtless her husband.  And he asks the Spy "How is Stephen?", thus establish her heterosexual identity at Minute 14.  Tease that she's gay, and then immediately mention her husband!  They did that on purpose.

The Spy and Inspector Penny's Husband spend a lot of screen time discussing how much they love their spouses.  Then Spy returns to her apartment to interact with her husband, who has dementia and doesn't remember thiings.  

I'm fast-forwarding.  I signed up for murder, not "Silver Threads among the Gold."

Darling, I am growing old. Silver threads among the gold
Shine upon my brow today. Life is fading fast away.

Scene 6: A Cop is is giving a roomful of residents tips on home security.  The Spy asks about the 1973 murder, confusing her.  Plus, when she glances out the window, Cooper's Chase security has booted her police car for illegal parking, har har. 

Since she won't be going anywhere for awhile, they invite her to lunch and a tour of the grounds.  The Activist gets a visit from his son, Jason (Tom Ellis, top photo and left), a famous boxer, now retired after an injury and taking gigs like Celebrity Master Chef and Dancing on Ice.

  The Activist is established as heterosexual in Minute 21, and I'll bet this whole scene was just a set up for Jason to fall in love with the Cop.

And where's that murder?

They notice Evil Ian and Dangerous Tony Curran arguing: "Destroying Cooper's Chase and kicking out all the old people is essential to my evil plan!  I'll do anything -- anything -- to get it done!" 

"My Auntie's here, so I won't permit it!  It will never happen, as long as I'm alive!"

More after the break.

"The Curse": One of many "cursed" tv shows leads me from Bjorn Mosten to Xavier R., with a lot of dicks in between

 

Amazon Prime recommended a British tv series called The Curse (2022).  I'm interested in the paranormal, but British dramas are not great at LGBTQ representation, so rather than going through an entire episode, I conduct an internet search on The Curse (2022) and "gay characters." 

A lot of movies and tv shows with that title appeared between 2021 and 2023.  Doesn't anyone ever check to ensure that single-word titles aren't repeated?  

The Curse (2021):  When its new owners (including Laurence Rupp) move in, the curse on a haunted house resurfaces. Left: Bjorn Mosten, who appears when you search on "Laurence Rupp nude."

The Cursed (2021): In 17th century France, Seamus (Alastair Petrie) attacks a Romani camp.  They get revenge by sending a werewolf to kill people in his village. 

Left: Alastair's backside.

The Curse (2023): An American tv series about a newlywed man and woman trying to be eco-friendly in a small New Mexico town.  It stars Emma Stone and Nathan Fielder.

Left: Nathan's penis, or a prosthetic. 

He also shows his backside.

The Curse (2023): An American tv series about the host of a HGTV show about "passive homes," starring Emma Stone and Nathan Fieder.

Wait, this is the same show with a completely different premise.  Did they reboot halfway through?

Reverse the Curse (2023): Ted (Logan Marshall-Green) is a failed writer turned penis vendor at Yankee Stadium. He moves home to care for his dying father, and creates a winning streak for his favorite baseball team.

Sorry, I meant peanut vendor, but he shows his penis, too. 

After the first five, I give up: Apparently the British tv series The Curse (2022) exists nowhere on the internet except on Amazon Prime.  

More after the break. Caution: Explicit.

"Getaway": Nick Frost and his gay son vs. a creepy Swedish ritual and a transphobic stereotype. With Kit Conner and a stunt d*ck

Getaway or Get away, either "a holiday" or "someone is chasing you!" is a 2024 vanity project, written by, directed by, and starring Nick Frost, who has played the sidekick in several Simon Pegg movies.  But it also stars Sebastian Croft of Heartstopper: he plays the closeted boyfriend that Charlie (Joe Locke) has before he starts dating Nick (Kit Connor, below).  

Sebastian is "not into labels," but he supports queer causes: his line of Queer Past clothing supports LGBT refugees.  So maybe his character will be gay.

Scene 1:  Dad Richard (Nick), Mom Susan, teenage son Sam (Sebastian), and teenage daughter Jessie are heading on a holiday (vacation) through Sweden, with Finland as a stand-in.  Their destination is the island of Svalta, where in 1824 the islanders quarantined themselves for fear of a deadly flu pandemic. Two and a half years later, when British soldiers checked, most of the islanders had died of starvation, or turned to cannibalism. The soldiers were murdered.  Why are the British checking on an island in Sweden? 

They mention that it's near Kristianstad in northern Sweden.

Every ten years the islanders commemorate the event with an eight-hour long play, Karantan.  Really? Not every year?  Jews have yahrzeits to remember their dead loved one every year.  

Scene 2: Two Days Until Karantan.  They arrive at a horrible cafe at the port.  The surly owner snarls and mocks their weird menu requests, like cheese on a hamburger  (well, the Ugly Americans didn't even try to speak Swedish.  Wait, they're Brits).

Like every horror movie ever, he warns them not to go to the island. There are no hotels -- "no worries, we have a B&B" -- and the islanders hate outsiders, especially during Karantan.  

Then why is there a ferry several times a day?  And why do they have a tourism brochure?  Oh, wait, I know why.  I've seen "Midsommer" and "The Ritual"

Son and Daughter find a decapitated bird, but that's not a sign or anything.  Off they go. Whoops, Dad left his wallet on the bar.

Scene 3: The ferry lady has never heard of outsiders going to Svalta before, and warns that they'll be stuck for three days.  Dad goes to fetch his wallet.  Why did they bother with the "leaving it" bit?

Left: Nick's dick, actually a stunt cock. Not from this movie.

Cut to the ferry, with islanders glaring like they want to attack.   When they dock, a crowd of islanders is staring at them and growling.  Finally Commune Leader Klara asks what they are doing there.

"We've come to see your play."

"Billy Elliot is a play.  Grease: the Musical is a play.  Karantan is our life."  The isolated islanders get around.

She orders them to go back to the mainland: "You are not welcome here."  I'd be outta there, but Mom insists on staying. Otherwise be lousy story.

Mom tells them that one of her ancestors died here: he was one of the British soldiers murdered by the islanders during the quarantine.  So that's why they are so adamant about staying?  She wants revenge or something?

Scary lady licks her face to force her to leave, but at that moment Matts (Eero Milanoff) appears and tells the islanders that it's ok, he rented them his mother's house. They growl, but what can you do?  

Scene 4: At the house, Matts tells a long story about his mother walking across the ice to get married in 1974, and dying 10 years ago at the age of 91, beheaded in her favorite chair. So she was 50 when she married?

Then he creepily sneaks up on Teenage Daughter.  I can't tell if she likes him or not. 

Scene 5: While Mom and Dad cook dinner, and Teenage Son complains about the lack of cell phone service, Teenage Daughter takes a bath (five minute long closeup of her boobs).  She hears a shuffling noise, and investigates, but finds nothing.

More after the break

Billy Howle: A serious actor, crazy cute, with frequent nude scenes. Do you need anything else? With bonus Tommy Knight d*ck

I've reviewed two tv series starring British actor Billy Howle (not Howlie), and two things about him stand out:

1. He is crazy cute.  What we used to call dreamy, the sort of guy who elicits fantasies of holding hands in the moonlight rather than going downtown.

 

2. Speaking of going downtown, he is not shy about displaying his rather impressive penis on screen.

I always ask two questions in these profiles.

1. Is he gay in real life?

Billy has no social media presence, but various interviews note that he is in a long-term relationship with a lady.  He could be bisexual or gay-and-closeted, but for now we'll call him straight. 

2. Has he played any gay characters?

This one will take some research.  We'll start with his bio.  

Billy was born in Stoke-on-Trent in the Midlands, about an hour from Birmingham, son of a college professor and a "schoolteacher."  He graduated from the Bristol Old Vic Theater School in 2013.  His theatrical credits include:

The Ibsen play Ghosts (2015), which is about religion, free love, and incest, not about ghosts.  We had to read Ibsen in college.  Ugh.

Eugene O'Neill's A Long Day's Journey into Night (2016).  We had to read O'Neill, too.  Double ugh.

Hamlet (2022).  Maybe a gay subtext between the Prince and Mercutio.

Dear Octopus (2024), which is about a large, suffocating family, not an octopus.  At least it's not Ionesco.

John Osborne's Look Back in Anger (2024) about marital problems.

No significant gay content, I'm afraid, and pretentiousness as the summum bonum.  

Next, Billy's on-screen roles.  He has 21 acting credits on the IMDB.  A  mostly pretentious lot, with only one science fiction movie and not a whiff of comedy.  I'll check the projects that I've reviewed already, those listed as "known for," and those with nudity.

Already Reviewed:

The Perfect Couple (2024).  When the Maid of Honor is murdered on the night before the wedding, everyone is a suspect, including the Bride and Groom.  Billy plays the Groom's brother, who has a girlfriend. 

Under the Banner of Heaven (2022). Lapsed Mormon Allen (Billy) is accused of murdering his wife and baby, but he says that his fundamentalist family did it to punish her for wanting a career and being uppity. 

More after the break

Sherlock & Daughter: A late Victorian red thread case, with gay actors, a lesbian subtext, Dougray bum, and Kasper cock

 

Since Arthur Conan Doyle began publishing stories of the Baker Street detective and his...um...roomate, hundreds of movie and tv adaptions of the Sherlock Holmes mythos have appeared.  Many depict Sherlock and Watson as gay-subtext buddies or even boyfriends, but I don't hold much hope out for Sherlock & Daughter, now streaming on MAX. Having a daughter pegs him as heterosexual, and with those two sorting through clues, Dr. Watson is bound to be relegated to a few walk-on "Hello, old chap" lines.  

But David Thewlis (Sherlock) played gay poet Paul Verlaine against Leonardo DiCaprio's Rimbaud, and almost-gay Lupus in the Harry Potter movies. And he has shown us his d*ck several times on screen, so I'm reviewing the first episode anyway.

Scene 1: London, 1896 (Sherlock is in his mid 40s). He takes a hansom cab through a late-Victorian cityscape to the crime scene, a giant mansion, and greets Inspectors Bullivant and Whitlock (Aidan McArdle, left early photo).  The kidnappers dragged the boy from his room, but the maid intervened, and they fled.

Uh-oh, Sherlock finds a red string on the boy's wrist, refuses the case, and rushes out.  

"But his father is the Italian Ambassador." 

"Tough, I'm out."

Scene 2: New York, still 1896.  Amelia bursts into a cheap hotel, past the prostitutes, and gets a room.  A bellhop named Cooper (Kasper Andreasen) offers to carry her luggage, but he actually leads her to the alley and tries to rob her.  She pulverizes him, but he takes her purse anyway.

Left: Kasper Andreason, from Banbridge, Northern Ireland, hit the newspapers in 2017, when the 12--year old raised thousands of pounds for children with cancer with a paperclip swap.  In 2020, he flew to London to interview the stars of the movie 1917.  

Age 21 as of this writing, Kasper has 5 acting credits on the IMDB, including the paranormal teen Silverpoint and Mordlichter - Tod auf den Färöer Inseln, so I'm guessing that he's fluent in German.

A more...um...intimate portrayal after the break

At the steamship ticket office, Amelia has no more money, but she offers a blueprint for a machine that pasteurizes milk, so you can bring it on ships.  You're offering that to a ticket agent?  How about a CEO?  He doesn't want it, so how about her mother's watch?

Scene 3: Back on Baker Street, Sherlock looks at a mysterious letter he received, while his housekeeeper, Mrs. Halligan, brings his dinner.  He rejects it: the egg is overcooked. 

She scoffs: she only agreed to help out because he's taken the case of the kidnapping of her sister, Mrs. Hudson, and Dr. Watson.  Why would that require you to take a job as his housekeeper? 

"Tough, it's simple instructions. 4 minutes 12 seconds to boil an egg for toast soldiers.  Go find someone with the brains to do it properly." Toast soldiers must be a Victorian thing.

When she storms out, he looks at the message: "Lamp in the window tonight to show you will observe the thread or Watson and Hudson (the housekeeper) will pay like your maid."  Next he opens a box with a red thread and severed finger.

Scene 4: On the steamer en route to London, Amelia is also playing with a red thread.  A rich girl in a pink cape approaches and starts flirting voraciously.  Careful, ladies: Oscar Wilde's trial just ended.

Oh, well, what the heck: let's change course for "Lesbos, where kisses, languishing or joyous, burning as the sun's light, cool as melons,  adorn the nights and the glorious days" (Baudelaire).

Back stories: Amelia's father lives on Baker Street (hint, hint), and the Girl's father is the new U.S. Ambassador to the U.K.  "By the way, Papa is throwing me a ball to celebrate my coming out. Won't you come as my date?" You're quite an ally, Dad.  Yes, I know she means coming out into society.

Uh-oh, the girl's chaperone, Lady Violet, aka the Wicked Witch of the West, appears, drags her away, and warns Amelia to back off, or she'll put her in the brig. The Girl is going to marry the aristocrat that her parents choose; she doesn't have time for indulgences like lesbian romance!  

Scene 5: Amelia stays out of sight until they reach New York.  Then the Girl spots her, rushes up, and assures her that class distinctions are meaningless, they should become very close friends.  "Call on me anytime.  Anytime." 

Native American actress Blu Hunt (left) identifies as "super queer," and played a queer character on "The Originals."

Amelia makes her way through London's Chinatown, gets cruised by a prostitute (what, is she wearing a Pride flag?), barters food from an African lady, and finds a secluded park bench to sleep on.  Why not go directly to Baker Street and reunite with your Dad?

More after the break. Caution: Explicit.