Aidan Merwarth: Finn's wannabe boyfriend, pencil factory exec, juvenile delinquent, brat, with 3 d*cks and inconclusive social media

In Season 2 of Unprisoned, gay-coded Finn (Faly Rakotohavana) and his family go to group therapy. Mom complains  that he spends all day online, not interacting with anyone in real life, so he'll never "fall in love, get married, and have a nice life."  I'm not getting into the assumption that you have to be married to have a nice life.  The therapist assigns Finn to "make a friend," presumably a friend that he could fall in love with.

He invites Spencer (Aidan Merwarth), to his room but doesn't want to play video games or watch tv or anything.  Dude, if you're not going to make out with him, at least give him something to do.

Spencer plays with his phone for awhile, gets bored, calls Finn a "baby" (you wanted a real man?), and leaves.  He re-appears at the college fair to taunt Finn again. Well, can you blame him?  Dude thought he was going to get at least some smooching, and maybe some beneath-the-belt action.

Finn remains gay-vague, his sexual identity unconfirmed through two seasons.  

I wanted to know about this guy who is playing a gay subtext or maybe gay-text teenager.

He was born in July 2002, so as of this writing he's 22 years old. He's from San Antonio, and homeschooled, which means either he's a fundamentalist Christian, or he goes on so many auditions that he has no time for school. 

 

He has 133 friends on Facebook.  

He's an acrobatic gymnast.  In 2015, at the International Acro Cup in Poland. Aidan and his sister Devon won second place in the mixed pair 11-16 age range

He attended the Los Angeles Film School, graduating with a B.S. in Animation in 2025.

He has eight acting credits on the IMDB.

A Girl Named Jo (2019). on Brat TV, features two girls trying to unravel a mystery at Attaway High School in 1963.  Aidan appears in four episodes as Felix, apparently Jo's boyfriend.

Another Brat TV series, Crazy Fast (2019), has a group of outsiders join the track team at Attaway High. Colin McCalla (left) stars.  Aidan plays Eamon, a runner "whose past with Rowan threatens everything."

Another straight guy, darn it.

The Forgotten Place is a short about Eric (Jeff Locker), who wants a friend.  He finds one (Brian Flaccus), but apparently he means a platonic friendship.

In Saving Paradise (2021), a "ruthless corporate executive" (William Moseley) has to return to his small town when he inherits his father's struggling pencil factory. At Christmastime.  He has to save it and win The Girl (named Charlie, just to fool you into thinking there's a gay romance).

So Paradise is a pencil factory?  I guess it beats saving the annual Christmas festival.  Aidan plays the  rutless corporate executive as a teenager, already in love with The Girl.

But a pencil factory?  When was the last time you used a pencil?  Or saw one?

More after the break

Nicholas Hamilton: From depressed Outback teen to curious superhero, gay actor into exotic cocktails and girls. With n*de photos

 

 The n*de celebrity subreddit posted some photos of actor Nicholas Hamilton. 

Never heard of him, but according to Wikipedia,  he is gay, and came out at age 18.  So researching this guy will be easy: I just need to answer the third question in my profile: has he played any gay characters?

But doubtless someone who has been out since he started in show business will choose only gay roles.  Why would he want to play a straight character?

More bio: Nic was born in 2000 and grew up in Alstonville, New South Wales about 2 1/2 hours south of Brisbane.  His first acting role was Elvis Presley in a grade school play.  He decided on an acting career after his uncle died of cancer in 2011. 

His on-screen career begins with an episode of the Australian teencom The Mako Mermaids (2013) and a lot of shorts:

Time (2013): A boy is bullied due to his belief in time travel.

The Streak (2013): In spite of the misleading title, not about streaking, about a man who wants to honor the memory of his dead father by ending his evil uncle's "cricket streak."  So I guess Uncle always beat Dad at the game of cricket?

Jackrabbit (2013): A boy in the Outback has an abusive father.

There are lots more, but I'm fast-forwarding to Nic's full-length movies:

Strangerland (2015): a teenager (Nic) and his sister disappear in the Outback.  So, like Picnic at Hanging Rock?  

"There is a stillness in the air, and I'm in it. There are no sounds, no whispers, no shadows, no darkness. And just for a moment, there is no 'you', no 'me'. And I'm not lost."

Sounds like he's into the sister

Captain Fantastic (2016): in spite of the misleading title, it's not about superheroes, it's about a family living off the grid because they want to be critical thinkers or something.  Nic plays one of the children.

It (2017) and It: Chapter 2 (2019): Nic plays Henry Bowers, a sadistic bully who torments the Losers Club.  Turns out that he's the puppet of the transdimensional being known as It.  In the original novel, he's bisexual, doing things with a boy and a girl, but this does not occur in the movie.

In 2018, Nic graduate from high school and came out. Now we'll see the gay roles, right?

Endless (2020): High school graduates are separated by a tragic accident, one goes to limbo, and the other finds a way for them to get together again.  So, Orpheus and Eurydice?   It's heterosexual high schoolers played by Nic and a girl. 

In spite of the misleading title, the tv series Action Royale is not a spy spoof: A teen (Nic) starts an underground e-sports ring to pay off his father's gambling debts. He gets a girlfriend.

Brave the Dark (2023): High schooler Nate (Nic) is "engulfed by darkness" due to "traumatic childhood memories."  He's taken in by his drama teacher in 1973 and 1986.  None of the reviews mention gay characters.

Three movies, all straight?  Let's hope you do a better job of LGBT representation in your tv shows, buddy.

A 2020 episode of Love, Victor, about a gay guy trying to come out. Rahim (Anthony Keyvan) makes a date with Charlie (Nic) on a dating app, but when they meet in person, the dude rejects him for being too feminine. 

8 episodes of The Pradeeps of Pittsburgh (2024): An FBI agent is trying to deport the Indian-American family next door.  Then his son (Nic) falls in love with their daughter in a Romeo-and-Juliet thing. 

5 episodes of Gen V (2023-25) an Amazon Prime series about a superhero academy.  Maveric (Nic), who can turn invisible, is dating a girl who can turn into an alpaca (he's into it).  He admits to peeking at both men and women in the shower while invisible, but that's more curioisty than an expression of bisexual identity. Dude is definitely hetero-romantic.

One episode as gay, 14 as straight or straight-ish.  7% is not a great record.

More after the break.  I tried to post the n*de photos twice, and got censored.  This is the third time. Caution: Explicit.

Fate/La Suerte Gay law student is forced into driving a...Scene 8 Big Reveal. With two Oscar dicks and some random butts

 

I was drawn in to the Spanish tv series Fate (2025) on Hulu, but it does not appear among the five or six television series called Fate that premiered in 2024 and 2025.  Finally I found in the IMDB of star Oscar Jaenada: La Suerte: Un Serie de Casualidades (Luck: A Series of Coincidences).

Who was the genius who decided to mistranslate "la suerte" as "fate," and make the show impossible to find?  But it's worth the effort.

Scene 1: David (Ricardo Gómez, left) is trying to memorize passages from his Criminal Law text while driving a taxi through a party district in Madrid.  Suddenly two guys appear with a semi-conscious third, Gordito (Jairo Sanchez) pile in.  Their friend collapsed during dinner.  They order David to drive them to the hospital -- and don't stop for red lights.

At the hospital, Jero (Carlos Bernardino) orders David to keep the meter running -- while he and the nurses rush Gordito inside.  He steals the Criminal Law book so David will have to wait.

Carlos Bernardino played Armand in Jaula De Grillo, a Spanish language version of La Cage aux Folles, aka The Birdcage.

While waiting, David smiles at a hunky ambulance driver.  He can't be gay, can he?  Ricardo Gomez has played gay characters at least three times.  Could this be #4?

Scene 2: An hour later, Jero returns, telling someone on the phone that Gordito has been admitted to the hospital, but he'll be fine.  David wants to be paid, but skittish loose-cannon Jero points out that the taxi is stolen, and blackmails him into driving somewhere to get the money.  I imagine that it's not really stolen, David has just borrowed it to make extra money while studying for his law exam.

Scene 3: The restaurant where they were eating when Gordito collapsed is now closed, but the owner is a close friend, and opens for Jero.  They left in such a hurry that they forgot "the package."  Uh-oh, these guys must be drug traffickers. And could the owner whip up some muffins?

Scene 4:  Now on to the hotel to get the money.  Jero cautions David to not put down Andalusians -- the last guy who tried that got cut in half.  Just kidding -- or not. 

At the fancy hotel, as they walk down the hall, we see a black rooster wandering around for no reason.  Then a hand with tattoos and rings beckons: "Come in, Jero.  You know you want to."  I can't tell the gender of the voice or the hand. Grinnng, Jero tells David to wait outside -- he'll just be a minute.

Scene 5:  David gets tired of waiting and goes in.  I was expecting a hookup, but it's an elegant party.  One guy is stoking on cocaine, and people are lining up to slap a man's bare butt, but otherwise it's subdued.  

Jero introduces David as the guy who saved Gordito, and everyone cheers.  Then he tells David to guard the muffins with his life, and vanishes. This is tremendously surreal.

A guy grabs the muffins, in spite of David's protests, and takes them into the bedroom to present to a shadowy figure in sunglasses.   The muffin guy introduces David as the kid who saved Gordito, and asks "What should we do with him?" That sounds threatening.  Is this like the Spanish Mafia?  

 "Give him a muffin." 

David gets his muffin.  It's not even homemade. 

Scene 6: Figuring he won't be getting paid, David leaves.  The black rooster leads him into another room with a lot of gifts and bottles of booze on a table. And the package they retrieved from the restaurant -- full of money.  Drug money!  I knew it!  He starts to take enough to cover his fee, but is  distracted by the golden bullfighter costume on the bed, and just grabs and leaes.

Down in the cab, he counts -- 300 euros.  But the meter only reads 170.  The rest is stolen!  "Fuck me!" he exclaims -- he's got to return it.  Fortunately, he sneaks in and out of the room without incident.

Scene 7: It's early in the morning.  He gets home just as his elderly parents are leaving for a trip.

He opens the refrigerator  -- meals marked for every day of the week -- feeds the dog, strips to his underwear (whoa, he's hot.  The bulge is not very visible in this screenshot, but check out the shadow), and gazes wistfully at his graduation photo.  

Legal training in Spain requires a bachelor's and master's degree in law, followed by the examen de acceso a la abogacía (Exam for Admission to the Law).  David must be studying for the exam.

More after the break.  Caution: Explicit.

Boots: A gay teen and his straight buddy join the Marines. In 1990. With other gay characters, all the beefcake you could hope for, and at least 3 cocks

 

Boots on Netflix, not to be confused with Boots: The Musical or Das Boot , is advertised as the last series by Norman Lear, who produced some of the greatest hip sitcoms of the 1970s: All in the Family, The Jeffersons, One Day at a Time, Maude, Mary Hartman.  It's based on The Pink Marine by Greg Cope, his memoir of joining the Marines as a closeted gay kid in 1990.

My parents all but insisted that I join the army after high school, but I figured that it would be impossible.  Memories of the 1990s, plus gay characters and beefcake -- I'm in. Episode 1, "The Pink Marine":

Scene 1: 1990.  In the recruiting office, Cameron (Miles Heizer) is asked why he wants to be a Marine.  "Um...for freedom and America?"  The real reason: he's being bullied to death. 

Narrating, Cam goes back to the beginning.  Montage of his birth, toddler years, getting beat up, lifting weights, a penis, David Hasselhoff, Medieval knights.  "What if you're not who everybody says you're supposed to be?" 

Mom advises him to be more masculine. Brother Benjy, to not be such a p*ssy.  Getting his head shoved in a toilet at graduation.  Complaining about having to stay closeted.  Sounds like everybody knows you're gay, buddy.

His inner self interrupts and asks him to "stop being afraid, and just be yourself.  Our place is out there."  So you're joining the Marines? I moved to West Hollywood.

Scene 2:  Close up of the shoes of Cameron's only friend, Ray (Liam Oh),  as they eat at an outdoor restaurant. He's going to join the Marines, where they have the "buddy system": if you join with a friend, you stay together.  

"But they don't allow gays in the military."  

"So you'll just  pretend to be straight."  Wait -- does this mean that Ray is straight?  I remember 1980: you didn't come out to any straight person, ever.  If they found out by accident, they would drop you instantly.  

Cameron considers the idea.  He can't afford college, and his only other option is Bismarck, North Dakota (move to West Hollywood?).  Besides, he wants to stay with Ray.

Scene 3: Back to the recruitment office: "Boot camp is a machine that turns boys into men. In 13 weeks you won't even recognize yourself."

"Sounds great.  Let's do it."

Scene 4:  Parris Island, South Carolina. The boot camp bullying begins immediately, as Drill Instructor Knox (Zach Roerig) screams for the recruits to get off the bus. Drill Sergant McKimmon introduces himself --by yelling and insulting them ("a bunch of f*king degenerates).  This triggers Cameron.  Actually, it's starting to trigger me.

They call their "next of kin" to say that they arrived safely.  But they have to follow the script.  A guy who deviates has to do push-ups.

Next come haircuts, punishment for smiling at each other, dinner (forced to retrieve food that he threw away and eat it, gross!) , new uniforms (lots of beefcake).  

Uh-oh, Cam can't find his boots, so he's forced to go barefoot. That must be the reason for the title of the series.

Next, Drill Instructor Knox forces them to run to their bunk room and make their beds fast. He yells at Ray for being Asian, and forces the recruit who stole Cam's boots to do push-ups.

Another recruit flirts with Cam.

Back home, Older Brother is watching a public-domain 1930s cartoon.  Mom was too drunk to notice when Cody mentioned that he was joining the Marines, so she is shocked when she gets his phone message. 

Scene 5: Night.  Cameron sneaks out to go to the bathroom, and finds another recruit pleasuring himself (maybe do it in your bunk under the covers, like every other guy who sleeps in a dorm room?).  He sees Cam watching and calls him a homophobic slur. 

Cam runs back to his bunk and tells Buddy Ray that he made a mistake, he's got to get out of here.  It was an all-purpose slur, Princess -- he didn't really think you were gay.   

"It's hard on everyone," Ray answers. "I got a racist breathing down my neck."  

Scene 6: Drill Instructors Howlitt and Knox come in with trash can lids to wake up the recruits. Ochoa (Johnathan Nieves) gets yelled at for having an erection (not visible on screen).  He may be the one who flirted with Cam.

Cam gets bullied for not shaving properly, and later is asked if he has a girl back home. "She dumped me.  She's a Communist."  

Time for the strength test, which involves sit-ups and running, where he bonds with the fat guy John Bowman (Blake Burt). He joined because it's family tradition.

Next, you have to do at least three pull ups, or you're out.  Cam sees his chance: he pretends that he can't do any, but then he wants to encourage John Bowman, so he does his three, and stays in.   The Drill Sergeant allows them to hug and yell, as  long as they say "ooray" instead of "hooray."  

More after the break

Researching Trey Makai: A gay teen, a bodybuilder tease, some queerbaiting, influencer dick, and nude Hawiian dudes

 I get a lot of social media recommendations from bodybuilders,fitness influencers, and various hunkoids.  Most are unsuitable for a profile here, but Trey Makai hit all of my requirements:

1. According to the recommendation, he's an actor. Maybe he's played gay characters.

2. The photo showed him wearing an effeminate ring, setting off my gaydar.  He's doubtless gay in real life. 

3. He's a bodybuilder.

4. Makai is a Hawaiian word meaning "toward the sea."  He must be Native Hawaiian. 

 Native Hawaiians make up about 23% of the population of Hawaii.  Only about 2,000 speak Hawaiian as their first language, but many more have learned it in school or through apps.  And 600,000 speak Hawaiian Pidgin, a stable creole language.  

Dat moke mahu buggah get one beeg choke kine ule, bra,  You like mebbe get downstair?

That muscular gay man has a very large penis, my friend.  Would you care to engage in oral sex with him?

I'll look for that beeg ule, but first let's check #1: Gay characters

Trey has only three acting credits listed on the IMDB.

1. Goodburger 2 (2023), a sequel to the 1997 Good Burger, with middle aged doofuses Dexter and Ed (aka Keenan and Kel) trying to save their beloved fast-food joint.  I can't tell if there's a gay subtext or not.  Trey performs the song "Billionaire."  That's all?  That's performing, not acting.

2. The music video Little Kids Nowadays (2022): Brent Rivera and his boyfriend Caleb babysit his 11-year old niece, who wants to go to Starbucks so she can record her Vlog.  Then she breaks up with her boyfriend and gets a new one (Tanner, who has no lines; he just sits in the booth next to the girl, grinning).  Brent sings: 

Like I-I just don’t get it
These kids are so grown up!

They got boyfriends and girlfriends. 
The only thing I was playing with when I was 11 was toys! Not girls' hearts!

Girls' hearts, Brent?  According to Google AI, you're gay.  You were dating influencer Pierson Wodzynski until 2024, and now you're dating Monako.  Wait -- those are both girls.  You're straight, gay tease!

3. Trey's last role to date is Tanner in six episodes of Mani, Season 6, a teencom about a male nanny.   It has a bizarre release schedule: Season 5 was released in 2020, Season 6 in 2013, Season 7 in 2022, and Season 8 in 2013.  But when I fast-forwarded through Trey's episodes, they were dated 2022.

Tanner appears as the ex-boyfriend of Brittany, who has currently switched bodies with the male nanny Mani.  She interrogates him about who he is taking to the prom, but all he says is "a friend."  

On the Big Night, Brittany (newly restored to her original body) decides that she wants to rekindle their relationship: "I love you. You're my soul mate.  I want to spend the rest of my life with you."  Girl, you're 13 years old.

Tanner: "I love you, too, but not in that way anymore." 

Brittany: "Is there someone else? That girl you're taking to the prom?"

Tanner: "It's not a girl, it's a guy."

Brittany: "Oh, ok,  Not a problem.  See ya."   

He leaves, and never appears or is mentioned again.  There are no scenes set in the prom.  But at least it's a gay character.  One out of three isn't bad.

I usually look for beefcake or nude photos of the other male actors in a show.  With Mani, I spent an hour on research.  Some cast members had private Instagrams, some had no internet presence at all, and none had any beefcake photos, except for Nick Checket, who plays Uncle Keith in six episodes.  He's married to the Most Beautiful Woman in the World but at least he shows his chest.

More after the break. Caution: Explicit

Peacemaker, Episode 3.7: In a fascist parallel Earth, Judomaster comes out, and Vigilante finds his soul mate. With bonus Vietnamese d*cks.

 

Nhut Le has returned as the Supervillain Judomaster in Season 2 of Peacemaker, the DC Comics series about inept superheroes.  He's gay in real life, so I'm reviewing Episode 2.7, "Like a Keith in the Night," to see if there's any evidence that his character is gay.

Title: A parody of "Like a thief in the night," a reference to the Rapture.

Back Story: Washed-up superhero Peacemaker (John Cena) is mourning his dead brother, and the fact he had to kill his evil white-surpremacist supervillain father.  He stumbles through an interdimensional vortex in his father's old house into another universe, where Peacemaker is a hero, Dad is nice, and Brother Keith is still alive.  

After accidentally killing that world's Peacemaker, he decides to stay.  He even tracks down this world's counterpart of the lady who wants to be Just Friends, and guess what?  She's in love with this world's Peacemaker!  He's got it made!

But in Episode 2.6, his friends (and an enemy) come to retrieve him.  Just Friends finds him down at ARGUS Headquarters, where she discovers that this is a white-supremacist Nazi-dominated United States.  She wonders why he didn't get a clue from the swastika on American flags and Mein Kampf on every desk.  Answer: He's not very bright.

Scene 1: Peacemaker's buddy, the superhero Vigilante (Freddie Stroma), meets his Nazi world-counterpart (Kellen Boyle), and they bond over superhero gossip.  He mentions that he belongs to the Sons of Liberty, a resistance movement to the fascist state. 

"Wait -- the Nazis won World War II here?"

"So the Allies won in your world?  You must live in a utopia!"  Um...do you want to tell him, or should I?

Suddenly Vigilante remembers that one of the friends he came with is black.  They have to find her before she gets grabbed and sent to a concentration camp!

Cut to Leota being chased by an angry mob.  They chase her into a pool.  Judomaster rescues her, and electrocutes the mob (or you could just fly away with her.  Oh, right -- you're a villain).   

Cut to Peacemaker and Just Friends trying to escape.  They're surrounded, so he grabs her and flies her out -- ineptly. 

Scene 2:  Peacemaker's Dad (Robert Patrick) calls to tell Brother Keith (David Denman, left) to get home fast -- he's got Economos, a guy from a parallel world, tied up in the living room.

"I'm just a casual thief who got caught, and made up a story," he claims.  They don't believe him.  They also know that their Peacemaker is dead, replaced by the one from his world,  "a dark version of ours."  

Brother Keith ran into Just Friends earlier, and complains that she must be from that other world, too: "She was wearing...ugh..pants, and she never heard of Helloween!" 

"Ok, we have to round up and kill all of the intruders from the Dark World."

Scene 3: Judomaster takes Leota to a safe house -- one where the owners are out of town -- and explains that they are in a parallel world, with the portal in Peacemaker's father's house.    

"What's up with this place?" Leota asks  "I just went for a walk, and got chased by an angry mob."

"The Nazis won World War II.  You don't want to be a minority here...or Buddhist...or gay...or anything I am, really.  Also, Cheetohs end with an h here, and they aren't nearly as good."  Ok, he's gay, in a blink-and-you miss it throwaway line tucked in with a joke about Cheetos.

"So what do we do now?"

"Wait till nightfall, find your friends, and sneak into Peacemaker's father's house, and go through the portal to get home." 

While waiting, they play Scrabble (Scrobble in this world), and discuss Leota's problems with her girlfriend., and how much Judomaster hates Peacemaker, "jingoistic garbage person." 

"If you open your mind a little, you'll find out that he's really a sweet guy."

More after the break

"A hot groin and a tricep": Nude photos of Peter Hinwood, the original Rocky Horror. With Ian McShane, Morgan Jackson, and Chord Overstreet.

 

A deltoid and a bicep
A hot groin and a tricep 
Makes me --- shake.
Makes me want to take Charles Atlas by the...hand

Every gay man of a certain age had a coming out or "I'm not alone in the world" moment while watching  The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975), a science fiction-horror pastiche with the "sweet transvestite" alien mad scientist Dr. Frank-n-Furter  unwrapping his creation, muscleman Rocky (technically named Rocky Horror).

Give yourself over to absolute pleasure

Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh

Erotic nightmares beyond any measure

And sensual daydreams to treasure forever

Gay men of a certain age have seen Peter Hinwood and his "hot groin" many, many times, in the midnight shows, on VHS, DVD, Blu-Ray, and streaming on Netflix every Halloween.  But you may not know that there are nude photos of the muscle god out there.

Born in Bromley, about 10 miles south of London, in 1946, Peter Hinwood began his career as a photographer's assistant, but soon began modeling for English Boy Ltd.  By 1970 he was at the top of the industry, driving fancy cars, going on expensive vacations to Tangier, and hanging out with celebrities like director Derek Jarman and Mick Jagger of The Rolling Stones.

Not just fashion -- he also appeared in the physique magazines of the closeted gay subculture of the era.  He made the cover of Man's World in March 1967.

Peter began his acting career as a muscleman, naturally, playing the God Hermes in an Italian adaption of The Odyssey (1968)

Next he played Guy in Tam Lin, an adaption of the old Scottish folksong (1970).  Also appearing were British stalwarts Ian McShane (Charlie in If It's Tuesday, This Must Be Belgium) and Joanna Lumley (Patsy in Absolutely Fabulous), and the director was Tab Hunter's boyfriend Roddy McDowall.

In the original Rocky Horror Show performed in London (1973) and Los Angeles (1974), Rocky was played by svelte, feminine, androgynous men, but for the 1975 movie director Jim Sharman wanted a muscle god, massive and inarticulate, speaking only in grunts (his singing voice provided by Trevor White).  Peter was cast after showing his...um...porfolio.

Patsy: He wanted to show me his portfolio.

Edina: How was it?

Patsy: Fantastic!

The result: 50 years of ab-so-lute pleasure.  And more to come.

I am just seven hours old

Truly beautiful to behold

But somebody should be told

My libido hasn't been controlled

Now the only thing I've come to trust

Is an orgasmic rush of lust

Rose tints my world

Keeps me safe from my trouble and pain

After Rocky Horror, Peter had a small part in Sebastiane (1976), Derek Jarman's gay adaption of the St. Sebastian mythos, with Leonardo Treviglio as the Christian seduced by and then martyred by the Emperor Diocletian.

Then he left acting, and, valuing his privacy, refused to participate in Rocky Horror events.  Also, he admittedly can't act, and "cringes" whenever he sees himself on film. He became an antiques dealer, along with his "partner in life and business" Christopher Gibbs.  They divided their time between London and Tangier.

More after the break.  Caution: Explicit.

'Chad Powers": A-hole footballer disguised as a college student, with a gay roommate and lots of bare chests. And other bare stuff.

I have no interest in -- or knowledge of -- football, but when the new Hulu series Chad Powers is advertised by two hunks gazing at each other, ready to fight or kiss, what choice do I have?  

Wait -- the two hunks are both Glen Powell, who you recall from Scream Queens and Top Gun: Maverick.  He's playing Russ Holliday, a famous college football player who was cancelled after an altercation with a kid in a wheelchair (and various other a-hole acts).  He schemes to get back into the game by creating a new identity, Chad Powers, and playing for the  struggling Catfish football team at South Georgia College (like, he's catfishing them, har har).  Presumably he'll take classes, too.   

Left: Glenn's butt.

In Episode 1.1, he steals a lot of supplies from his Oscar-winning makeup artist Dad to create the character, goes to the campus, and has a meet-cute with team mascot Danny (Frankie Rodriguez), a fashion-and-pop culture junkie who offers to help him with the deception.  "Your new identity needs to be a modest, likeable guy.  Just play the opposite of yourself."  Danny is also a makeup artist. Dude is obviously gay.  

I'm reviewing Episode 1.2, where Russ tries to maintain his new identity at a party at the coach's lake house -- shirtless hunks are promised.

Scene 1:  Russ and Danny are behind the building, near the dumpsters.  Russ roils at his prosthetic cheeks, but Danny insists: "You have to become Chad Powers. But don't talk much."  Dylan (Jordan Mendoza) arrives with his new identification materials and transcripts, "but I couldn't find him a home address."  No problem, he can stay with Danny.  Tell me more. 

Gross -- there's a bug burrowing into his prosthetic cheek!

Frankie Rodriguez is gay in real life, and has played gay characters in High School Musical: the Series, Modern Family, and Will and Grace.  I'm sure that Danny is gay, too, but they may not give us more than a few hints.

Scene 2:  Football practice.  Subplot involves the fussy Coach (Steve Zahn) and his assistant, secretly his daughter (doubtless also Russ's Love Interest). 

Coach summons Russ/Chad to note a problem with his transcripts: he was homeschooled in West Virginia, in a wilderness surrounded by wolves (nope, no wolves east of Minnesota).  So how did he manage to play high school football?

"Oh, I played...um...with the wolves."

Um...ok.  The Coach needs a winning season, or he'll be fired, so he's willing to suspend his disbelief.

Next Gerry (Colton Ryan), from the scout team and backup, introduces himself.  So far, we have five named male characters.  I'm getting a testosterone high. Who cares what a "scout team" and "backup" are?

80% of the photos Colton Ryan's Instagram show him hugging, kissing, and frolicking with a lady, and the other 20% show her alone, dressed as a man, showing her legs, smooching at the camera.  I'm guessing that he's straight. 

Wait, here's one where he's by himself.

Back to Chad Powers: Gerry teaches Russ/Chad his secret handshake, "a p*ssy symbol, because I get a lot of it."  I know -- I've seen the first 300 pictures on your Instagram. 

Gerry may want to be friends, but the other players ridicule Russ/Chad, especially Bully Nishan (Xavier Mills).

They start the practice.  Russ/Chad screws up and is demoted to backup: "Hey, Flowers for Algernon, this is where you grab this clipboard." Literary reference, har har.

Football research: There are two quarterbacks on each team. The Starting Quarterback is chosen for his ability to draw photo-ops, fawning articles, and hefty donations from boosters.  The Backup does the grunt work while the other players call him names.  But if the Starting Quarterback is injured or traded to another team, won't the Backup take over, and the players who thought he was worthless will have to do what he says? 

On the sidelines, Russ/Chad asks his Love Interest why Coach demoted him to Backup.  "The Starting QB hasn't been decided yet," she assures him.  "Coach wants you and Gerry to compete for the role."  

More after the break.  Caution: Explicit.

"House of Guinness": Heirs to a beer empire in 1868 Ireland. With a gay brother, shirtless hunks, Irish hiphop, and a heck of a lot of dicks

 

I've been having trouble recently, beginning reviews of movies and tv shows and then not liking them, or when I like them, there's no gay representation or nude photos, so I can't review them here. So this time I cheated by checking in advance: there's a gay character in House of Guinness, and lots of the actors have appeared nude.  Here's a dick now.

Episode 1 Prologue: Closeup of the beer-making process, with the ingredients, water, hops, and so on.  A sweaty bare-chested bloke adds the fire.  I like this tv series already.  Then comes family, money, and rebellion.  

Scene 1: St. James Gate, Dublin, 1868:  As As Foreman Rafferty (James Norton, left) walks through the factory, a dude asks if there will be trouble today. Of course, there's always trouble with the Guinness Family.  

Outside, someone throws a beer bottle at the logo, and a gang of Prohibitionists burn an effigy of Benjamin Guinness: "A brewer of sin and debauchery!"  His funeral is today, and they are intent on preventing his procession from making it to the church.

The Temperance Movement was nearly as popular in 19th century Ireland as in the U.S., attributing almost all crime, poverty, disease, and insanity to alcohol consumption.  

Meanwhile, Fenian Leader Patrick (Seamus O'Hara) tells his followers than the Guinness heirs  are weak and divided, so this is a perfect time to free Ireland -- by attacking the funeral procession!  "Grab whatever weapons you can find, but spare the horses -- all horses are Catholic."

England occupied Ireland until 1922, forbidding the use of the Irish language, discriminating against Catholics, and promoting stereotypes that are still common today.  There were lots of revolts, rebellions, and terrorists acts, notably from the Fenian Brotherhood.

In the factory (very impressive set, lots of workers), Foreman Rafferty tells the men to arm themselves.  They have to fight to get the boss's corpse through to the church.

The battle is accompanied by the hiphop song "Get Your Brits Out," by Kneecap. Ordinarily I dislike contemporary music in a historical drama, but not when it's mostly in Irish:

Ach Stalford agus an DUP 

Gach lá, taobh amuigh de mo theach

"Go back to Dublin if you want to rap"

Anois éist, I’m gonna say this once

Yous can all stay just don’t be c*nts

 

Scene 2: Iveagh House, the Guinness family home (built 1736, now the headquarters of the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade).  Femme, decadent Edward (Louis Partridge) complains that his button-down conservative brother Arthur (Anthony Boyle) has been in London so long, he's lost his Irish accent.

The third brother, Benjamin (Finn O'Shea, top photo) is asleep on the couch, still hung over from one of his benders.

They discuss the hypocrisy of everyone pretending to grieve, when the Irish hated him, and the English are happy that he is gone: now they can manipulate the children.  

Sister Anne tells them to shush their bickering; it's time for the funeral, and they have to act like a civilized Christian family: "Decadent Edward, change your shirt. Drunken Benjamin, change into some clothes you haven't slept in. Conservative Arthur, just change." 

Left: Louis Partridge's butt.

Scene 3: More of the battle, while inside the church the minister praises Old Man Guinness, who brought the Catholics and Protestants together, and represented Dublin in Parliament.  The children keep eyeing each other and other people in the congregation, with whom they no doubt have a history.

Scene 4:  In a pub, Fenian leader Patrick congratulates his men on their performance in the battle.  He tells his sister about their next step: they're going to break into the cooperage and burn all of the barrels, so the beer can't be shipped out and the brewery will go under!  

Sister has a better idea: she's been talking to the maids and other staff, and three of the four children have secrets that could destroy them. One of them will be taking the seat in Parliament vacated by their father; they can blackmail him into pushing for Irish independence!

What those secrets are (and an *roused penis) after the break. Caution: Explicit.

"High Tide": Two guys discover the unrelenting agony of gay life. In Provincetown. With a heck of a lot of nudity

 

I don't usually watch gay-specific movies: they're too angsty, presenting coming out as an unbearable trauma and life after coming out as endless heartache, loneliness, and emptiness.   But High Tide (2024) is set in the gay resort of Provincetown, and it has a lot of n*de photos.  Who can be depressed, lonely, and empty while looking at cocks?  But I'll check out the trailer first, to make sure.

Scene 1: Lourenço (Marco Pigossi) runs onto a deserted beach, takes off his clothes, and jumps into the ocean.  Then, clothed again, he sits on the deserted boardwalk, staring into space, depressed.

Left: Lourenço as a tiny speck in the vast ocean.  The insignificance of human life...

Scene 2: He asks an older guy, "Have you heard from Joe?" 

 The older guy is irate: "You left him!"  So you should never hear from him or about him again?  But in gay communities, ex-lovers are our closest friends. 

Then: "True love is something else!"

 

Lourenço starts to cry.

Scene 3: He sits despondent on the boardwalk again, then meets a cute guy, Maurice (James Bland).  No one has been named Maurice since Samantha's father on "Bewitched."  It must be a homage to the early gay novel by E.M. Forster.  

They splash about on the beach, then sit down with a lady whose boobs are hanging out.  

Lady: "So you're Brazilian.  What do you do?" 

"I clean houses."

Montage of our boy cleaning houses.  This is portrayed as the ultimate in humiliation. 

Left: more beach bunnies.  Seriously, what is there to be depressed about?

Scene 4: Establishing shot of Provincetown, as Lourenço explains that he's here on a tourist visa, so technically he can't work, but he has to, because he needs the money...

The older guy tells him, "You're young and handsome.  You can do anything."

Scene 5: Lourenço and Maurice head to the bedroom and kiss (that's all we see in the trailer).  A review gushes: "Sexy, sad, and just the ticket."

More after the break