Pilot Bunch: Unbreakable boyfriend, zombie boyfriend, teen Jesus manager. With n*de dudes from New Orleans and Hawaii

 

I may have met Pilot Bunch, who will play Johnny B., the "hype manager" of the teenage Jesus in the Gemstone tv series Teenjus, at a Halloween party a few years ago. No, we didn't hook up.

Today he looks a lot like my niece before she began transitioning.  And coincidentally, their boyfriends look very similar, too.

Pilot was born in Kazakhstan, but grew up in Atlanta, where he will graduate from the Woodward Academy in 2025.   His first acting role was in The Lion King, performed at his elementary school.  He got an agent at age 11, and began appearing on tv at age 14.  To date he has twelve on-screen credits  listed on the IMDB, including:

Four episodes of Drama Club (2021), a Nickelodeon mockumentary about a middle school drama club recruitng a football player (Chase Vacnin).  Sounds like "High School Musical."

Pilot plays Colin, the chem-class lab partner of focus character Mack (a girl).  In an interview in TresA, he says that he loved the character: "witty, sarcastic, and always messing with Curtis (Reyn Doi).  Reyn Doi usually plays gay characters, so we can assume that Colin is gay-subtext or gay-vague.

In 2021, Pilot played Vincent, a resident of the Alexandria Safe Zone, in  the post-apocalyptic The Walking Dead.  "A reckless, immature bully," he and his friends play "chicken" with a child zombie (Augustus Morgan, son of Jeffrey Dean Morgan, who plays antagonist Negan).  He says that the role was fun because he got to hang out with Augustus in his zombie makeup. 

He also has roles on The Wonder Years, 115 Grains, The Hill, and Red One, and some theater, including Shenandoah.  He plays Robert, who is kidnapped by Union soldiers during the Civil War (right, with Caleb Baumann as Gabriel)  Robert isn't dead; Gabriel is his best friend, not an angel.

Pilot's biggest role to date is in The Unbreakable Boy (2025), a biographical heartwarmer featuring Austin (Jacob Laval), who has a brittle-bone disorder and is on the autism spectrum.  Pilot starts out a bully, but becomes Austin closest friend and supporter. In a feature article in Pop Size, he notes that the role has special significance for him, because his brother is on the autism spectrum

Pilot's Instagram contains no pictures of him with girls, except for this one, but he could hardly help it: it was at a friend's birthday party.  Otherwise it's boys all the way down.

More after the break. Caution: Explicit

"The Residence": Murder at the White House, with a gay President, suit guy dicks, and Randall Park's butt

 

I wanted to see The Residence, a new Netflix comedy about a murder at the White House, because it has a gay character: the President. The Observer review specifies: "it's rarely discussed and simply accepted as part of the narrative landscape."  Buttigieg in 2028!  

Besides, I love a guy in a suit, and the White House will be full of them.

Episode 1 is "The Fall of the House of Usher," a reference to the Poe story.  

Scene 1: Thunder rumbles.  We pass the busts and portraits of former presidents.  An older man in a tuxedo (Giancarlo Esposito) walks down a busy hall, being greeted by passersby.  He peers down at a reception, and then a formal dinner with hundreds of people attending, including the Prime Minister of Australia.  There's a knock on the door, a woman screams, and we cut to the evening's entertainment, Kylie Minogue. The camera zooming through the hallways is making me dizzy.  Back to the screaming woman, who looks like Jane Curtin.  The older man is dead!

Left: this is supposed to be Giancarlo's penis, but all I see is a suitcase with a foot on it. 

Scene 2: The Capitol, a few months later.  A Congressional Hearing about the murder and the investigation that followed.  First to witness: Jasmine, the Chief Usher, in charge of overseeing the Executive Residence (the 3rd floor residence of the President and his family). 

Flashback to Jasmine sitting in the very authentic-looking Blue Room, drinking while she's supposed to be working. A waiter asked if she talked to him, and advises that she not do something she'll regret. Like murder?  "Too late, I already did."  

Suddenly Agent Rausch (a woman) appears, and brings her upstairs, where the President's best friend Harry Hollinger (Ken Marino, left) says that there's been an incident, and she has to keep everyone away from the second and third floors.  

Jasmine refuses to do it because she's only the assistant usher.  She thought she was going to be the chief usher, but it was made very clear that she wouldn't, so ask the actual Chief Usher, A. B. 

Ulp -- A.B. is the murder victim!

Scene 3: Jasmine takes the elevator down, and flashes back to meeting A.B. on the same elevator earlier that evening. She congratulates him on his upcoming retirement, but he announces that he's not retiring after all, so no Chief Usher job for her.  She bangs the doors and screams.  

Later Jasmine returns to a roomful of people, including the President's friend Hollinger, Secret Service Agent Trask, the FBI director, the head of the National Park Police, and Lawrence Dokes, chief of the Washington, DC metropolitan police. 

Scene 4: Testimony switches to Chief Dokes (Isiah Whitlock, Jr.).  He explains that the White House is his jurisdiction.  No, it's not.    

Back at the crime scene, he brings in Cordelia Cupp, the greatest detective in the world, to help out.  She's on the South Lawn, bird watching. Best Friend Hollinger insists that it was a suicide, so they don't need an investigation.

Cordelia enters, discussing Teddy Roosevelt's list of birds (a real thing), and examines the body and the room -- it was locked from the inside -- a locked room mystery!   

Next she interviews the person who found the body: the President's mother-in-law, Jane Curtin in a bathrobe, who was watching a movie on tv.  She didn't go to the dinner because she doesn't like talking to people, especially her son's husband, the President.  First indication that the President is gay at Minute 14.  She heard a thump and a door close, and investigated to find the body in the Game Room.  

Cordelia gets a tour of the various other bedrooms, gym, music room, and solarium.  The President's brother Tripp was asleep, heard the scream, and went back to bed.  Best Friend Hollinger has a room there, too, which makes Cordelia suspicious.

Hollinger explains the severity of the situation: the last administration pissed off the Australians (and the Canadians, and the Danes, and...well, everybody), and this is a state dinner designed to smooth over relations.  They need to figure out what happened and put the least disastrous spin on it in 45 minutes.

More after the break. Caution: Explicit

Who is Bradley Cooper, and why is he "ultra-famous"? With his gay/sort of bi characters , backside, and d*ck

 

Danny McBride promised an ultra-famous guest star for Righteous Gemstones Episode 4.1, the Civil War prequel, but kept him a super secret, so his appearance would be a shocking reveal.  I watched the entire episode, wondering who the ultra-famous guest star was.  

Turns out that it was....BRADLEY COOPER!!!!!

Who the heck is that? 

It's such a generic name, it could belong to anyone.

The main Bradley Cooper has  75 acting credits on the IMDB. I've seen six:

Wet Hot American Summer (2001), watched to review.  Bradley plays Ben,  a gay guy at the summer camp who gets a boyfriend.  His peers are horrified: "Ben is a fag!" But they give him a wedding present anyway.

Guardians of the Galaxy, Guardians of the Galaxy 2, Avengers: Infinity Game, and Avengers: Endgame, where he voices the the sentient raccoon character.  

Dungeons and Dragons: Honor among Thieves, where he plays a loveable rogue.

No wonder I didn't recognize him, or his name.

You can't really blame me. Who'd want to see Alias (2001-06), about a lady spy with a  "you're arrogant!" bickering partner?

Or Bending All the Rules (2002), about a woman juggling two boyfriends, David Gail and Bradley?  Even though he shows us his backside.

Or The A-Team (2010), a remake of a 1980s tv show that I never saw.  Even though it shows us Bradley's impressive physique.

Or Wedding Crashers, He's Just Not Into You, The Hangover, or The Hangover II?  They sound like nontstop heteronormative sleaze fests.

I might have gone to see Valentine's Day (2010), if I knew there was a gay plotline in the ensemble: Holden (Bradley) dumps his boyfriend, pro football player Sean (Eric Dane) because he's closeted, but after his career is over, the guy comes out, so Holden takes him back.

More after the break, including some c*ocks

Sage Ftacek: "Sweethearts" Short Brigade Stud from Anoka, with a BFA, some Tiktok videos, and a cock

 I was interested in Sage Ftacek, because he plays a gay character in the Thanksgiving romcom Sweethearts (2024).  Newly out Palmer (Caleb Hearon) is looking for social contacts at a pre-Thanksgiving party.  He is standing in the kitchen.

A blond guy, maybe Kellan (Jake Bongiovi), yells: "Let's roast this sucker!"

Kurt: "Yeah, babe! I'll be right there."  He takes a turkey from the refrigerator, and stops to ask Palmer "Do you know anything about cooking?

Palmer "Not really."  

He starts to walk away, but realizing that he could be a gay social contact, Palmer stops him: "Wait, Kurt.  I'm gay."

Kurt responds with a blank expression: "I'm Kurt."

"I know. We've gone to school together since kindergarten."

"I'm gonna try to cook this turkey on the bonfire."

Later Palmer and Lukas, a gay guy who's interested in him, watch Kurt and his boyfriend rip off their shirts and try to set the turkey on fire. 

That's all, just four lines, but look at him.  Extraordinary cute. 

And at 5'8", a a member of the Short Guy Brigade.

He has a very unusual name -- it's Czech, originally meanng "little bird" -- so he should be easy to track down.

First his Instagram.  It says "golf cart dealership, which may be a joke.

Lots of joke pics, like this one of Sage dismantling a mannekin.

A clever way to see three cocks at once.

And a spare butt, which may be his or a friend's.

According to Facebook, Sage grew up in Anoka, Minnesota, a suburb of Minneapolis, where his Dad works at CostCo. He has a younger brother, and a relative who got a Ph.D. from Western Michigan University, specializing in transgender literary texts of the 18th century.  

Sage graduated from the St. Paul Conservatory for Performing Artists in 2018.

The Rutgers Actors Showcase says that he grew up in Minnesota, "sledding and throwing snowballs,"  fell into the "skateboarding and graffiti" scene when not taking the bus into Minneapolis for acting lessons,  and ended up at Mason Gross School of the Arts at Rutgers University, where he received a BFA in acting. in 2022.

More after the break. Caution: Explicit.

"High Potential," Episode 1.13: This one has a gay character, a ridiculous plot, and a last-scene twist. Plus some cast members' members

 

I reviewed an episode of the Hulu series High Potential earlier, but it didn't get enough page views to keep on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.  The G-rated version is still up, on NySocBoy's Beefcake and Bonding.

Most likely the problem was representation: the show -- about genius cleaning lady Megan (Kaitlin Olson), a "flashy girl from Flushing" hired to help the staid, stick-in-the-mud cops solve murders -- was skittish about identifying gay characters, with only "no expressed heterosexual interest" to go on.  

So I'm trying another, Episode 1.13, "Let's Play."  It has an open, out gay character -- an interior decorator, yet -- played by Broadway actor Adam Kantor, who is queer in real life, bulged on the cover of Next, and showed us his backside, although I can't find a c ock. 

Scene 1: Obligatory "home life" scene, with Megan's ex-husband (Taran Killan) teaching her daughter to drive.  She almost runs over the whole family. Don't you take driver's ed in high school?

Cut to the police station, where Megan is asking the homicide detectives to pull over her daughter, because when she was a teenager, she got in a lot of trouble while driving, har har.

In other news, everyone is required to attend the big, important Police Gala, so the higher-ups can see that they're all team players. 

Time for the case of the week: They got an email saying "Spencer Wallace wouldn't play with me, will you?" And a photo of the scared, tied-up Spencer.  "Two hours to make your move."

They look up Spencer: 37 years old, unmarried.  Gay.  Interior designer.  Gay stereotype.

The cops insist that it's just a joke or a weirdo bondage scene that got out of hand, but Megan thinks that they should at least contact Spencer to see if he's ok. 

Scene 2:  Spencer's apartment. It's daytime.  Wouldn't he be at work? They find a black box with a jigsaw puzzle and a note: "Let's play."

Back at the station, Megan completes the puzzle in a few seconds (she's got all types of intelligence, apparently).  It's a map of Mulholland Trail, with a piece missing.  That's where they have to go for the next clue.

Scene 3:  Megan and Detective Karadec hike to the spot, and find a lot of Loco Ocho (Crazy Eights) cards hanging from a tree, with a note: "Pick a card, and then you'll go down a path and through the shade, before dear Spencer starts to fade."  The cops at the station call to reveal that Spencer is diabetic, and needs insulin by the end of the two hours, or he'll die. 

Left: Spencer's backside

Megan and Detective Karadec play the Loco Ocho game.  The last card is two, so they have to take the second path.  Wait -- wouldn't that vary, depending on the starting card?

They find a hopscotch game with numbers.  Megan plays and adds them up to -10 and 240, the coordinates they have to check with the viewers: it looks directly down onto Valley Days Storage.  Spencer is in a storage locker!  This is ridiculous.  Who would set up a series of games like this? There's one chance in a thousand that the cops will figure it out. 

Scene 4:  The cops banging on storage locker doors and yelling for Spencer.  Then they get the bright idea of asking the manager: Spencer rents Unit L-4.   Yep, he's in there.  And they brought insulin from his apartment to administer.  He'll be fine.  Wait -- we're done?  That was a short episode.

Scene 5: In the hospital, Spencer tells the cops that he doesn't know who kidnapped him. They grabbed him, took him to a dark room, and tried to get him to play board games, but he was too scared.  Then they got frustrated and started the game with the cops. Description: wearing a white anime mask, rosy cheeks, big eyes. 

Megan: "Why was your storage locker empty?"

Spencer: "I rented it with James.  He was my partner for nine years.  He died in an auto accident four years ago"  Gay identity established at Minute 8, except for the interior designer stereotype.  They were going to fill the storage locker with their stuff while they traveled to Europe, and now he can't bring himself to get rid of it.

With that revelation, Stuart leaves the show.  But we still have two victims left.

Scene 6: At the station, the cops figure that Spencer was a random victim; the Kidnapper was actually targeting them.  So who has a grudge against the LAPD? 

Megan isn't so sure.  The Kidnapper wanted to play kids' games with Spencer.  Maybe a childhood friend, or someone who wanted to be a friend and was rejected?

Cut to evening, with Megan picking up the to-go dinner orders for her family.  But a guy has already paid for them:  Domeneck Lombardozzi (left) playing the gruff, abrasive private detective who is looking for Megan's missing husband.  More of that ongoing plot arc, then some home stuff, and an invitation to the Police Gala from a cute guy. 

Scene 7:  Detective Oz (Deniz Akdeniz) comes in early to stare at the suspect board.  They have a lead at the Marina Park Hotel, coincidentally where the Police Gala will be held:  a carriage full of scary dolls, and "The fun has just begun" written in Scrabble letters. 

At the station, Detective Oz, reveals his connection to the case: He lost his Dad last year, so he's been going to a grief group.  He doesn't go all the time, so he didn't recognize Spencer at first, but he's a member, too. And he told them all the story of the empty storage locker.  Somebody in that group is the Kidnapper!

Scene 8: Detectives Oz and Daphne go to the grief group and interview the members. 

I predict that the Kidnapper will be group leader Chris, played by Maurice Hall (the one with the bulge, not the chest).

Back to the grief group: one woman says that she had a crush on Spencer, before "I realized I was not his type."  Just say gay.

In other news, Group Leader Chris is worried because member Sierra, an ASL interpreter, never misses a meeting, usually comes early, and she's not there. 

The group member suggest David as a lead.  He hasn't been there for several months, but he used to be a regular.  His family played board games all the time, until his sister died, and then they stopped.  He was more and more upset about it every week.  

Megan is skeptical: dude tries to reclaim his childhood innocence by forcing Spencer to play board games?  Doesn't make sense.

Well, just before he left the group, he invited everyone to trivia night at a bar.  No one showed up. Well, they're grief-stricken.  What did he expect?  So maybe he's hurt, and forcing them to play?  

Megan is still skeptical: why would he force the police into the games?

More after the break

"Murder Mindfully": "Family is everything," a limp-wrist villain, too much smarm, and not enough murder. In Germany. With Bjorn's backside and Hoseman's hog

I wanted to review the first episode of Murder Mindfully (Achtsam Morden, 2024) because I haven't watched a German tv series for awhile.  

Problem: the first five minutes had my blood boiling, and the rest was nauseatingly saccharine.  But the two main guys have favored us with a lot of n*de photos.

Scene 1: Narrating, Bjorn (Tom Schelling) tells us that he didn't used to be a killer.  He didn't murder anyone until he was 42. Then it was six guys all in the same week, and he did it for a good reason: to get a work-life balance.

Cut to the judge's chambers, where lawyer Bjorn is arguing that his client, accused of a jewelry store robbery, should get out on bail.  He was having a bad day, but he had a noble goal: he wanted to get an engagement ring for his girlfriend.  He may be an immigrant, but he has the same values we Germans do: "he dearly treasures marriage and family."  Heteronormative jerk! 

 Getting the ring was an important step toward "cementing the relationship with his girlfriend."  Ok, he's heterosexual, so he can't be a bad guy?  

Discovering that the defendant has slept with a woman and is therefore a good guy,  the judge quickly grants the bail.  

Except Bjorn was lying: the guy actually has no girlfriend!  He is immersed in a homosocial band of brothers.  Evil!

Bjorn notes that early in his career, he would never have petitioned to let an evil/no girlfriend guy out out on bail,  but now he works for a disembodied limp-wristed hand with an ostentatious lady's ring.  On your way to audition for RuPaul's Drag Race, girlfriend?

Limp-Wrist, aka Dragan Sergowicz (Sascha Gersak), is the head evil/no girlfriend dude in town, running drugs, weapons, prostitution, and other disgusting things. Sex work is legal in Germany.   He keeps Bjorn busy cooking his books and bailing out his no-girlfriend goons.
 

Scene 2: Bjorn (left) gets home late, having missed...you know what's coming, right? -- the birthday of his young Daughter/Reason for Living, who is asleep on the couch clutching a stuffed animal, pushing up the cutesy junk to the max. This is the meaning of life!  Family is everything!   At this point Tonstant Reader thwowed up.  

Wife is angry with him, and suggests mindfulness so he can go back to "family is everything" again,  But you can't spend 24 hours a day gazing at your wife and Daughter/Reason for Living.  You have to eat and sleep sometime.  

But Bjorn gives it a try.  He stares at Daughter/Reason for Living for about 10 minutes, then carries her upstairs to her room and has endless tender tucking-into-bed moments that I fast-forwarded past.

Scene 3: The next day at work -- wait, why are you still working? Why aren't you home gazing at your wife and daughter? Family is everything, remember?

Bjorn is upset because there's a roomful of suits congratulating each other over some sort of work victory.  The bullying secretary taunts him: "Oh, weren't you invited?  What a pity."  You weren't invited either, lady.   

Bjorn narrating: "I was the Cinderella of the law firm."  He had to do all the dirty work -- anything unethical or illegal -- but it was all hush-hush, so no one knew that he did anything at all.

Darn, dude is a failure at "work is everything," too.   

He has to make a change.  He hates "trite, useless New Age junk" like the idiotic mindfulness his wife suggested, but "I'd have moved to Sodom, Gomorrha, or a hippie incense shop" to get back to "family is everything!" Hey, is that a homophobic dig?

Scene 4: Bjorn's appointment with the mindfulness guru, an elderly guy with a huge empty studio, who chides him for being late.  Stay in the moment, dude.

Left: Bjorn's d*ck

He spends the next 17 minutes of screen time in his mindfulness training, and the rest of the episode trying to combine "family is everything" and "work is everything" by taking Daughter/Reason for Living to work.  When is he going to start murdering people?

Scene 10: At Minute 27, Limp-Wrist seeks out Bjorn for help.  He got a tip that Igor was moving into his territory, so he beat him to death and set him on fire.  But Igor worked for rival Crime Boss Boris, and now Boris wants to kill Limp-Wrist. Neither of these guys appear in the cast list

By the way, 50 schoolkids on a field trip videotaped the murder and posted online.  Limp Wrist jumped on the bus and yelled for them to keep quiet or he would kill them all.  They recorded and posted that, too. 

You're getting in deep, Limp-Wrist buddy.  See what happens when you don't have a girlfriend?

"So, what are you going to do for me?" Limp-Wrist asks.

More after the break. Caution: Explicit.

"Deli Boys": Pakistani-American brothers learn a secret about their Dad. With a lot of gay characters and some bonus Pakistani d*cks

 

This is just to get your attention.

Deli Boys (2025), a new comedy on Hulu, features two Pakistani-American brothers, studious, hardworking Mir (Asif Ali, left) and irresponsible cokehead Raj (Saagar Shaikh), who find out a secret about their father's business activities after his death.  

I doubt that a tv series written by and starring Pakistani-American guys will have any gay characters, but there's bound to be some beefcake.

Scene 1: I was right.  The brothers chase a guy in his underwear, with a bag over his head, and a bulge in his shorts, out of the deli.

Three days earlier: Baba Dar records a commercial for his investors.  He came to American in 1979 with three dollars in his pocket; he worked at a deli, and lived above the store with nine other guys, with six shirts between us  (we see a photo; four of the guys are indeed shirtless).  Today DarCo owns 40 delis around the Philadelphia area, plus Caca brand Achar (a Pakistani relish).  Next he wants to buy some golf courses.

Scene 2: Cokehead Raj in bed with the Shaman Prairie (yes, that's her name) and a clump of around ten people, mostly women but two other guys.   I'm going to guess that he is straight but curved around the edges. 

 They get up and smoke hashish, and then she applies leaches to his back, a sort of New Age thing.

Meanwhile, Drexel Grad Mir tells his father that he learned a lot about business from him, even more than at Drexel University (which he is very proud of), so he's ready for the top spot in the organization. The Girlfriend comes in and tells him that he's ready to give the speech to his father.  

Next he works out, straining with a triceps pushdown.  

Trainer: "I haven't even put the pin in yet."  Dude is weak, har har. 

The Trainer is played by Calvin Thomas (not the queer theorist, the model).

Scene 3: The guys head to the golf course.  They are arguing over who deserves to become president of DarCo when Dad Baba retires.  He shows up to play golf. 

He is upbraiding them for being immature when a golf ball hits him in the head!  He drops dead.  His Caddy, Matthew, screams

Scene 4: As the brothers put a sheet over their dead Dad, Lucky Auntie bursts in.  She was Dad's business partner for thirty years. 

They ask, "Are you going to take care of us now?"  An odd question for grown men in their 30s, but she agrees.

On to the funeral.  The brothers can't do the Muslim prayers right, embarrassing everyone.  

The Caddy ends with "Amen!", har har, and bursts into tears.  Was he, like, Dad's boyfriend?

At the reception afterwards, Ahmad Uncle (Brian George) and Lucky Auntie spar with each other.  Each thinks that the other is out to undermine them and seize control of the company.

I recall Brian George as Babu on Seinfeld, the one with the gigantic waggling finger, but he has 325 acting credits listed on the IMDB. 

Scene 5: While each brother is petitioning to the DarCo board about why each should be named CEO, the feds raid and start making arrests.  They were investigating Dad for fraud, inside trading, tax evasion, and so on, but he had powerful friends.  Now that he is dead, they are able to act.  Lucky Auntie is led off in handcuffs.

More after the break

Reacher, Episode 2.6: Is Reacher homophobic? With a Ritchson p enis, a Bertchtold butt, and my new favorite catchphrase

In Season 3 of Reacher, the iterant do-gooder (Alan Ritchson, below) mentors shy, troubled college student Richard Beck (Johnny Berchtold).  Richard has a lot of queer codes, such as lack of expressed heterosexual interest and a preference for lavender.  When he stands in Reacher's bedroom doorway after a crisis and asks "Are you ok?", I expected them to hug...or maybe kiss.

I wanted to know if he is canonically gay, so I did a Google search.

Nothing came up about Richard, but some Reddit discussion board posts complained that Reacher was homophobic because he roughed up a gay guy during Season 2.  

Reacher often expresses a disdain for actions, interests, and behaviors that fail to meet alpha-male hegemonic masculinity ("Help you with your flower arrangement?  Nope, nope, I'm teaching you to box"), so I could see him being homophobic.  Let's check out the scene.

It's Episode 2.6, "New York's Finest."

The Story So Far:  A member of Reacher's former military investigation team is murdered, and the whole team may be in danger, so the Man-Mountain and his buddies investigate, from Atlantic City to New York to Denver and back, as the players become more and more powerful.  There are corrupt politicians, corrupt cops, enemies that turn out to be friends, and friends who turn out to be enemies. 

When two hitmen target Reacher and his buds, they kill one and interrogate the other.  He was hired by Swan (Shannon Kook, left), assistant head of security at the defense company New Age (dumb name, innit?).  

They go to the New Age company to ask about Swan.  Director of Operations Marlo arranges a meeting at a warehouse, but when they arrive, it explodes!  She set them up! 

I don't know who plays the hitman, but it could be Kyle Mac, seen here tied up next to Craig Henderson on Hemlock Grove (2013)

In Episode 2.6, the team will look for Marlo, who has gone into hiding.

Opening Ad: Why you should join the army, har har.

Scene 1:  Reacher's team consists ofL

1. Francis Neaghley, his former partner (a woman)

2. The Hacker, a young woman.

3. David O'Donnell (Sean Sipos, below), below, a lawyer and heterosexual "family man."

They find Marlo and her teenage daughter on the security cam of a convenience store run by a sleazy, hetero-horny clerk.  Noting that the daughter is a gamer, the Hacker suggests tracking her down through her gamer tag.  First they have to wait until she begins playing. 

Scene 2: While they are waiting, Reacher has sex with team member Francis.

More after the break.

Gemstones Episode 3.2: Kelvin's butt buddies, gay Percy, two toxic families, and some military dicks

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"Cold Wallet": When a crypto-investment goes wrong, gay-subtext buddies invade a Hegelian mansion. Plus Keefe's butt and the groundskeeper's d*ck

  Tony Cavalero has been promoting his new movie, Cold Wallet (2024), which just became available to stream: three friends invade the mansion of a crypto millionaire.  I don't know what crypto is: some sort of fake money that can be used to buy real money?  

But both Tony (left) and costar Raul Castillo (below) have played gay characters, so maybe they are boyfriends.  And maybe we see some of Tony's physique.  

It's worth forking over the $7.00 for a rental.

Scene 1: Christmastime. Don and Billy (Tony, Raul Castillo) sing "Jingle Bell Rock" at karaoke night.  Then Billy tells his bar buds -- all men.  Is this a gay bar? -- how they can use cryptocurrency to get rich: "I've been reading Reddit and watching podcasts, and it's transforming lives!"  He and Don buy a billion shares of crypto from Tulip and hug.

Cut to Christmas morning, with Billy dressed as Santa Claus bringing a present to his daughter.  Heterosexual identity established at Minute 2. Thanks to crypto, he'll soon be able to buy a house, so she can come for weekend visits.  

His ex-wife and her husband Justin are upset: his visitation isn't until next week. Hubbie threatens to call the police.  He can't say hello on Christmas?  

"And where do you get off, buying her a $2000 playstation, when you don't pay the mortgage on your house?"  "I don't live here."  Don't argue in front of the kid -- you'll traumatize her.

He checks his Tulip to demonstrate how rich he's getting.  Wait -- the numbers are going down... negative $42,000?  Help!

There's no one named Justin in the cast list, but there's an Evan, played by Logan Slater (n*de photo below).

Scene 2: Billy walking in desolation through an industrial neighborhood in the dark, crying.  Wait -- where has he been all day?  

He eats ramen in his horrible apartment, then checks online: Tulip is in trouble; millions of customers have frozen assets.  The CEO died in Kenya, and he was the only one who could unlock the exchange (so people could get their cryptocurrency).  

So no more house in Pittsfield, Massachusetts, no more idyllic weekend visits with his daughter.  And the comments section reveal many others who lost everything: "I'm a mom of three boys.  My husband died six months ago.  Tulip was supposed to help us..."

Reddit friend Eva Zero reveals that the CEO is alive -- he got a fake death certificate. He swindled them out of their money, and is now in hiding. She wants Billy to help her "take the f*cker down."

Scene 3:  The gym.  Billy wrestling with Don, his bud from Scene 1, who is all excited because Mr. Bautista, the owner, is letting him buy the place.  Billy accidentally punches him in the nose, but he doesn't care because "chicks dig scars."  Heterosexual identity established at Minute 11.  They still have a gay-subtext buddy bond going on.

Billy breaks the news that crypto is dead, and they owe $67,000 in real money.  Uh-oh, Don took out a loan to buy the gym.  Plus Mr. Bautista was in trouble; the bank was about to foreclose.  Now he and Mr. Bautista are both ruined. 

Scene 4: They meet Reddit friend Eva Zero in a deserted AMC theater parking lot.

She has discovered that CEO Charles Hegel lives alone in an isolated mansion nearby.  She wants them to break in, force him to hand over the cold wallets (where you store crypto off the internet), and get everyone's money back.

He is named after Georg Hegel, the 18th century German philosopher whose Phenomenology of Spirit influenced Marx and Nietzche.  I  consulted the Wikipedia and Brittanica Online articles on Hegel, but couldn't see the connection.

Cut to the trio buying guns at the ShopMart, then driving through the woods to Hegel's house, a gigantic Tudor.  Billy knocks on the door, pretending to be delivering for DoorDash. The groundskeeper says that there's no one home, he has the wrong house, so get out!

Left: I think the groundskeeper is played by Allyn Burrows, who posed nude in his younger days

More after the break

Johnny Berchtold: I have good news and bad news. The good news is his cock.

I researched Johnny Berchtold, who plays the gay-vague or maybe canonically gay college student Richard Beck on Season 3 of Reacher.   

I have good news and bad news.

The good news: He is hung.

 

The bad news: The d*ck pic is from the movie A Hard Problem (2021).  Johnny plays a guy who tries to reconnect with his sister and recruits The Girl to help him clean out his deceased mother's house. Heteronormativity all the way down.

The good news:  In addition to Reacher, Johnny has a gay-vague role in  The Passenger (2023). Violent loose-cannon Benson (Kyle Gallner) decides to "fix" beset-upon fast-food worker  Randy (Johnny), killing his bullies, helping him stand up to his overbearing mother, and so on.

The script was heteronormative, but queer director Carter Smith had the actors push up the homoeroticism until they are almost a gay couple.  (Spoiler: one dies at the end).

The bad news: I couldn't find any other gay or gay-vague roles.

In Tiny Pretty Things (2023), his character is married to Claire (Katherine Hahn of Agatha All Along).

In spite of the whimsical pun-title, Dog Gone (2023) is about a dying guy and his dog, who is also dying.  He's probably straight, but I'm not sure: the plot synopsis was so disturbing that I just skimmed through.

In Gaslight (2021), which is about Watergate, not Victorian England, Johnny plays Jay Jennings, the estranged son of Martha Mitchell (wife of Attorney General John Mitchell).  He's married to a woman.

In spite of the whimsical title,  Life as a Mermaid (2016-2018) is a live-action drama about two mermaid sisters living among humans.  Johnny plays the Barnacle King, sort of a nerdish character with disgusting barnacles attached to his face.  He has a male sidekick, but I couldn't stomach watching long enough to determine if he is gay or gay-vague.

Fun fact: Life as a Mermaid is also a documentary about transgender people in Borneo.

The good news: Johnny is way into horror.  His instagram is full of photos of him in bloody and monster makeup, and getting Chucky as a roommate.  

More after the break. Caution: Explicit.