"Superman" (2025): You'll believe a man can queerbait

 

I don't usually review movies that are playing in theaters, but we just saw Superman (2025).  I went in with an internet full of complaints about "wokeness," so I expected a lot of LGBTQ representation.  Here's what I got:

The Wokeness: There are some nonwhite people around.  Big deal.

The Plot: The tyrannical leader of Boravia (mostly Russia, a little Israel) wants to invade neighboring Jarhanpur (mostly Palestine, a little Ukraine), and promises to make Lex Luthor  (Nicholas Hoult, left) king of half the country if he helps.  So he sells them $80 billion in arms for cheap. 

But Lex's main goal is to discredit and hopefully kill Superman (David Corenswet), because he doesn't like aliens, because he's envious of Supe's popularity, because...well, even he isn't sure. He's a movie villain, it's his job.  

Lex has a vast number of high-tech resources to help with the discrediting/murder:

1. The Engineer, who can fill your lungs with nanobots so you suffocate.

2. A prison in an unstable pocket universe, where he keeps political prisoners and people who criticized him on social media.

3. An interdimensional rift that can take down whole cities.

4. A lot of Superman clones.

5. Super-genius employees played by Terence Rosemore and Stephen Blackehart.

6. A monstrous kanju that grows to Godzilla-size and breathes fire.

Left: Blackehart's d*ck

7. The message that Jor-El and Lara sent along from Krypton. Supe always thought that they asked him to help the people of Earth, but they actually told him to rule Earth, and massacre anyone who resisted.  This is real, not fake, and when it gets into the media, people reject poor Supe.  Why do they care about the career his parents planned for him?  My parents wanted me to work in the factory.  

Supe has a number of allies this time around:

1. Food cart guy Malik Ali (Dinesh Thyagarajan), who jumps into a crater to help the injured superhero. Lex kidnaps him.

2. Krypto the Superdog.  Lex kidnaps him, too.  Spoiler alert: The dog doesn't die.

More after the break

Jordan Calloway: "Unfabulous" hunk, "Riverdale" jerk, supervillain, firefighter, fundamentalist. With a j/o video

In another instance of seeing the nude photos and then researching the actor, I found the j/o video of someone named Jordan Calloway, then googled his name and "gay."  There were references to his "gay kiss" and "captivating gay scenes."

Next, his Wikipedia article, where I saw that he was on Riverdale, the campy, over-the-top adaption of the venerable Archie comic books.  He played Clay Walker, Kevin Keller's boyfriend during the last season, when the gang was zapped into the 1950s.

By the way, Kevin also dated Joaquin DeSanto (Rob Raco), Moose Mason (Cody Kearsley), and Fangs Fogarty (Drew Ray Tanner, left)

Wait -- Jordan graduated from the fundamentalist Maranatha High School in 2009 and the extremely homophobic Azusa Pacific University in 2013.  How is he playing a gay character a few years later? 

Jordan's first major role was in Unfabulous (2004-07), a Nickelodeon teencom featuring a middle school girl (Emma Roberts) who has a crush on, dates, breaks up with, and reunites with a boy named Jake (Raja Fenske).  Wait -- are all of the boyfriends of teencom girls named Jake?  

Her two friends, girly girl Geena and jock Zach (Jordan), eventually fall in love with each other, so everything is tied up in a neat little heteronormative package.

Next Jordan had guest roles on Reckless, Recovery Road, House of Lies, Beyond, and Pure Genius.

Nine episodes of Freakish (2017), as Zane, who was working at the Keller Chemical Plant the day a toxic fog started killing everyone -- which happened to be the same day that he dumped his girlfriend for cheating on him.  A straight guy.

Six episodes of Riverdale (2017-18).  Except I read the Wikipedia entry wrong! Jordan didn't play Kevin Keller's boyfriend Clay, he played Chuck Clayton.  Clay-Clayton, an honest mistake.

Chuck is a horndog who lies about making it with Veronica on their date, so she and Betty trap him in a boiling hot tub and torture him into making a confession.  A straight guy.

So which of his roles featured a "gay kiss" and "captivating gay scenes"?

An article promises a "gay love story" in Drumline: A New Beat (2014): An upper-class Brooklyn girl defies her rich parents to attend college in Georgia and revitalize the "drumline."  She falls in love with her "he's arrogant!" rival, Jordan!  Straight.

The gay guys are played by Rome Flynn (who plays a straight guy in With Love) and Quentin Flair (who plays a straight guy in Welcome to Chippendales).

Left: Quentin.

More after the break

Christian Boeving: Fitness expert turned porn star turned movie monster. With a newly added butt shot

 

With a name like Christian Boeving, you expect someone from Belgium or the Netherlands, but in fact the bodybuilder was born in Dallas, Texas, and grew up in Missouri.  He began posing for muscle and fitness magazines at the age of 18, and is one of the most photographed people in the world, appearing on over 400 covers to date.

He's also a fitness writer, consultant, and spokesperson for bodybuilding supplements, though he has lost status in the industry after admitting that he had been using steroids since age 16.

He broke into show biz with a gay porn video, Posing Strap (1994) and a tv pilot, the aptly named Muscle (1995).  

Guest roles in a number of tv series and movies followed, usually roles requiring musclemen: Prey, Nash Bridges, Malcolm in the Middle, and Sheena.

He also continued his porn career in the gay Coverboys (1996) and the softcore straight Andromina: The Pleasure Planet (1999).  

Although Christian starred in a man-mountain "let's rescue someone in Southeast Asia" movie, When Eagles Strike (2003), his most important roles have been in sci fi and fantasy:  The monster Grendel in Beowulf: Prince of the Geats (2007);  Jack Stone in Apocalypze Z, aka Zombie Disaster (2013); Andre in Legend of the Red Reaper (2013).

More recently he has appeared in Bane: The Series, which seems to be about a DC Comics character, and Knight's End, which stars Kevin Sorbo. 'Nuff said.

I don't care for his social media sites.  Too many photos of Christian with half-naked women, too many dirty jokes, and some of...this stuff.  A guy holding a giant American flag doesn't necessarily eat at Chick Fil-A and watch Fox and Friends, but....

Very explicit photos after the break