I've been having trouble recently, beginning reviews of movies and tv shows and then not liking them, or when I like them, there's no gay representation or no beefcake, so they can't go on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends. So this time I cheated by checking in advance: there's a gay character in House of Guinness, and lots of the actors have appeared nude. Here's a dick now.
Episode 1 Prologue: Closeup of the beer-making process, with the ingredients, water, hops, and so on. A sweaty bare-chested bloke adds the fire. I like this tv series already. Then comes family, money, and rebellion.
Scene 1: St. James Gate, Dublin, 1868: As As Foreman Rafferty (James Norton, left) walks through the factory, a dude asks if there will be trouble today. Of course, there's always trouble with the Guinness Family.
Outside, someone throws a beer bottle at the logo, and a gang of Prohibitionists burn an effigy of Benjamin Guinness: "A brewer of sin and debauchery!" His funeral is today, and they are intent on preventing his procession from making it to the church.
The Temperance Movement was nearly as popular in 19th century Ireland as in the U.S., attributing almost all crime, poverty, disease, and insanity to alcohol consumption.
Meanwhile, Fenian Leader Patrick (Seamus O'Hara) tells his followers than the Guinness heirs are weak and divided, so this is a perfect time to free Ireland -- by attacking the funeral procession! "Grab whatever weapons you can find, but spare the horses -- all horses are Catholic."
England occupied Ireland until 1922, forbidding the use of the Irish language, discriminating against Catholics, and promoting stereotypes that are still common today. There were lots of revolts, rebellions, and terrorists acts, notably from the Fenian Brotherhood.
In the factory (very impressive set, lots of workers), Foreman Rafferty tells the men to arm themselves. They have to fight to get the boss's corpse through to the church.
The battle is accompanied by the hiphop song "Get Your Brits Out," by Kneecap. Ordinarily I dislike contemporary music in a historical drama, but not when it's mostly in Irish:
Ach Stalford agus an DUP
Gach lá, taobh amuigh de mo theach
"Go back to Dublin if you want to rap"
Anois éist, I’m gonna say this once
Yous can all stay just don’t be c*nts
Scene 2: Iveagh House, the Guinness family home (built 1736, now the headquarters of the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade). Femme, decadent Edward (Louis Partridge) complains that his button-down conservative brother Arthur (Anthony Boyle) has been in London so long, he's lost his Irish accent.
The third brother, Benjamin (Finn O'Shea, top photo) is asleep on the couch, still hung over from one of his benders.
They discuss the hypocrisy of everyone pretending to grieve, when the Irish hated him, and the English are happy that he is gone: now they can manipulate the children.
Sister Anne tells them to shush their bickering; it's time for the funeral, and they have to act like a civilized Christian family: "Decadent Edward, change your shirt. Drunken Benjamin, change into some clothes you haven't slept in. Conservative Arthur, just change."
Left: Louis Partridge's butt.
Scene 3: More of the battle, while inside the church the minister praises Old Man Guinness, who brought the Catholics and Protestants together, and represented Dublin in Parliament. The children keep eyeing each other and other people in the congregation, with whom they no doubt have a history.
Scene 4: In a pub, Fenian leader Patrick congratulates his men on their performance in the battle. He tells his sister about their next step: they're going to break into the cooperage and burn all of the barrels, so the beer can't be shipped out and the brewery will go under!
Sister has a better idea: she's been talking to the maids and other staff, and three of the four children have secrets that could destroy them. One of them will be taking the seat in Parliament vacated by their father; they can blackmail him into pushing for Irish independence!
What those secrets are (and an *roused penis) after the break. Caution: Explicit.