Kelton's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 1: Chanting, wrestling, growing a beard, going blond. With some grown-up dicks

This is a collection of cute/cool and hot/humorous photos of actor Kelton Dumont, best known as Pontius in The Righteous Gemstones.  As far as I know, he's over 18 in all but #2.  There are also some photos of his dad and a few friends.  

1. "When I go blond, I go all the way"

2, Kelton and his dad James practice Sokka Gakkai Buddhism, where you chant "Nam myoho renge kyo" and learn compassion, truth, and optimism: "We need to be able to continually direct our minds in a bright, positive, and beneficial direction and help those around us to do so, too."

3. Kelton and James at the WBC Main Event in New Orleans.  A blond Buddhist boxing fan.

4. Fam graduation.  Paul is now studying architecture at the Savannah School of Art and Design.

5. Random photo that has absolutely nothing to do with Kelton, James, or Paul.

6. Growing a beard

More after the break

Jake Kelley's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 1: The Maniac K*d and his buff buds and hung homies

 

In Righteous Gemstones Episode 2.1, we flash back to 1968, when the young Eli Gemstone (Jake Kelley) is working as a professional wrestler named the Maniac K*d, and, later, a hired goon for promoter Glendon Marsh.  

The Maniac K*d's backside

He is best friends with Glendon's son, Junior (Tommy Nelson), who will reappear in 2022 his life as a long-lost friend, potential enemy, and possible ex-lover.  Pictured: Ross Lynch.

Jake Kelley had his tv debut as the young Eli, but he and two friends, Mavro Diamante and Harrison Chandler (below), were co-presidents of Steal the Sun Productions, producing "web-series, documentaries, and award-nominated short films." 

In 2023, Jake wrote, produced, and starred in Dogwood, a miniseries about a screenwriter -- Mavro; a director -- Harrison; and an actor -- guess who?  

They form an "unwaivering alliance."  I wonder if any of them are gay.

Jake has also worked in theater and modeling.

More Jake after the break.  Caution: nudity.

Ryan Pinkston: Hottest of the Short Guy Brigade, martial artist, gigolo, gay cop. With some costar dicks

 

I've never been interested in tall guys; I like them short, the shorter the better, and in the 2000s, the 5'4" Ryan Pinkston was one of the hottest of the Short Guy Brigade

Born in Silver Spring, Maryland, a suburb of Washington DC, Ryan got his start in martial arts: he received his black belt in Wushu Kung Fu at age nine and went on to championships in karate, kung fu, and tae kwan do.

An interview on the Jenny Jones talk show landed him an agent, and within a month he had roles in Spy Kids: 3D (2003) and Bad Santa (2003), and he was helping Austin Kutcher play celebrity pranks on Punked.

But there was a problem.  Although handsome, muscular -- and short -- Ryan was typecast as an aggressive wise guy, basically a jerk. So that's the sort of role he received

In 2004, the 16-year old got his own tv series, Quintuplets, about teenage quintuplets with conflicting personalities.  His Patton was pushy and aggressive; brother Parker (Jake McDorman, left) was the athlete, and Pearce (Johnny K. Lewis, below) was the nerd, who actually danced with another boy in a "prom" episode.

Left: Johnny K. Lewis today

Next came the boorish Felch in Revenge of the Nerds (2006), chronic liar Sam Leonard in Full of It (2007), and Fletcher in the homophobic College (2008), which paradoxically offered an extensive homoerotic subtext.

Ryan's guest spots on the teencoms Out of Jimmy's Head and Hannah Montana were a little better, jerks with a soft, sensitive side.

But then he hit the bottom of the barrel: teen sex comedies. Foreign Exchange (2008), Extreme Movie (2008) with Frankie Muniz, Adventures in Online Dating (2009).

At least he had no problem with shirtless, shower, and swimsuit shots, though he drew the line at nudity.  And he was ok with rolling around with other guys naked.  Teens could sigh over the homoerotic subtexts even if they didn't like his characters.
 
But then, in 2010, something remarkable happened: a complete turnaround.  Ryan's characters changed from jerks to nice guys, and coincidentally some buddy-bonding was added to the girl-crazy schtick.

Boy Band (2010): in 1982, his Greg buddy-bonds with Brad (Michael Copon) to form the first boy band in history.

Tower Prep (2010), about a school for kids with paranormal powers: his Gabe has a crush on Ian Archer (Drew Van Acker).

Cougars, Inc. (2011): his Jimmy and best friend Sam (Kyle Gallner) can't afford college tuition, so start an escort service pairing older women with teenage boys.  Hey, is that legal? Of course, they get in on the action, too.  We get a nice shot of Ryan's butt as the camera lingers on his supine body, but this only nudity in any movie.

Frontal nudity after the break

Young Rock Episode 2.12: Dwayne calls out a bully, works on his bluster, and offends his boyfr...I mean buddy. With bonus Crane cock

 Young Rock (2021-23), about the early years of "The Rock," Dwayne Johnson,is one of my favorite comedies: an insider view of the 1990s pro wrestling subculture, a deliberate gay subtext between the modern-day Rock and his boyfr...best friend Randall Park, a near-absence of heterosexual romance, and endless vistas of locker room beefcake.  I reviewed "You Gotta Get Down to Get Up," Episode 2.12 of Young Rock, because it stars two of my favorite actors from the old days, Sean Astin and Ryan Pinkston.

Scene 1: Randall is upset because Dwayne didn't invite him to lunch with his best friend Forest Whitaker. They're boyfr....buddies.  Shouldn't he be invited by default?  Besides, it's only 24 hours until the presidential election; shouldn't Dwayne be out there, campaigning in battleground states?  

No, Dwayne says, he always goes his own way.  A story to illustrate:

Scene 2: In 1996, Dwayne is getting some wrestling experience in Memphis, living with his buddy Downtown Bruno, Ryan Pinkston, in a decrepit trailer with no ceiling.

Bruno is down on his luck.  He moved from playing a heel, Dr. Harvey Winkelman, to managing heels, but now he is just a referee for Jerry "The King" Lawler, Michael Strassner.

They discuss Dwayne's ring name.  Since his dad was Rocky, maybe Rocky Junior?  His family suggests Little Chief, his friends the Wild Half-Samoan.

Scene 3: In the locker room, Dwayne has been booked on a tag team, but they still need his name. He says "Flex Kavana."  

Back in 2034, Randall is surprised that it wasn't the Rock right away. No, Flex, because he's muscular, and Kavana, because it sounds Polynesian.

His tag team partner, Brian Lawler, played by Marcus Molyneaux, approaches. They knew each other as kids: Brian used to set up rings for Dwayne's Dad.  He's hot now,  so his ring name is Too Sexy Brian.    

They film one of those bragging promos, but Dwayne flubs it by saying "We're naughty by nature but violent by decision."

More after the break. Caution: explicit

Jak and Kelton visit the Citadel: Beach Day, Dick Day, wrestling, modeling, and a tour of the campus

 

Jak Kristowski is a South Carolina-based media influencer, actor, producer, model, Disney fan, Baptist, missionary, and surfer.  His stage credits include  Aladdin: the Musical, David vs. Goliath, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Jr., and Anastasia, and he is the executive producer of the fan-based movie Spider-Man: The Dark Age.

In Episode 3.9 of The Righteous Gemstones, Jesse sends his wayward son Pontius to The Citadel, the South Carolina military college.  Jak was cast as one of Pontius's classmates. 

His scene was cut. but he got to meet Jody Hill, Danny McBride, and Kelton Dumont, he got a free lunch and a campus tour, and of course he still was paid.  He posted some pics of his experience on his instagram, and I added some of my own.

The Citadel enrolls  2,300 cadets who want the military-style education they might receive at West Point or Annapolis, but without the obligation of entering the military after graduating.  No Battle Logistics: you major in one of the standard academic subjects, like English or history.

The library and student union don't look much different from those of other colleges, except for the uniforms

The naked guys are about the same, except for the dog tags. (Not Jak or Kelton)

More cadets after the break. Warning: it gets explicit.

"Muscle & Fitness": Searching for the Kelvin cover, with Weatherford butt and Lesnar dick

 

In Righteous Gemstones Episode 2.5, the flashback to 1993, four-year old Kelvin has a cover of Muscle & Fitness on the wall of his room. 

 

Not featuring Dick Stark, top photo, or Steve Weatherford, left. 

I've never heard of either, but apparently they were famous enough to rate covers and nude photos.

You can only see Kelvin's cover for a second before Judy turns off the light. Notice that it's positioned very low, at Kelvin's height.  

Being a research fan, I looked through the entire Muscle & Fitness cover gallery to find the issue chosen by the set dresser.  Notice that it shows a man with very short hair, arms akimbo.

I worked at Muscle & Fitness in the 1990s.  Joe Weider was extremely homophobic, worried about gay men reading our magazine, so almost every cover featured a man and a woman together.  A number featured just women.  The only male-only covers during my four years at Muscle and Fitness featured a celebrity, usually Arnold Schwarzenegger, but sometimes Lou Ferrigno or a sports figure.

More after the break

Tony's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 2: A leather jockstrap, an isolation tank, the sausage god, and honeymoon with the hubby

 

This is a collection of hot or humorous photos of Tony Cavalero, best known as Dewey on The School of Rock,  Ozzie Ozbourne in Dirt, and Keefe on The Righteous Gemstones, with a few of his friends.

1. "Wait -- if I'm supposed to be advertising this ball pouch why do you want me to take it off?"

2. When Tony dates other guys, they ski down blue-diamond mountains, ride bikes around the Hollywood Sign, and hang-glide off cliffs.  When he dates Skyler, they go shopping. 

I used this in the Skyler Gisondo photo collection, too.   It fits in with both, right?

3. Dude, they used that isolation tank for one scene.  You don't need to continue using it, unless you have a mummification kink.

4. Ok then, carry on.

5. How did you get that portable sauna zipped up?

6. When you can't take a cold plunge after your sauna, roll around in the snow instead.

More Tony after the break

Skyler's Hot/Hung, Photos, Part 3: Basketball, beach boys, wrestling, giving a guy his leg

This is a collection of cute/cool or hot/humorous photos of  Skyler Gisondo, star of The Santa Clarita Diet and The Righteous Gemstones, and Jimmy Olson in the upcoming Superman: Legacy. As far as I know, he's over 18 in all of them.  He doesn't have any verifiable nude photos online, but some of his friends do, and there are some interesting chatroom and hookup app possibilities.

1. Why is Skyler the only one with his shirt off?

2. "Homie wouldn't help you put sunscreen on my back."  

3. Why not?  Is the dude homophobic, or does he want you to lie on your back so he can see your abs?

4. Obviously they've been wrestling.  I have absolutely no idea what else they could be doing that leaves them on the floor, out of breath.

5. But we're not playing shirts vs. skins, buddy.

6. I dig the lesbian haircut, Sky Baby, but your sweater shrank in the wash.

More ginormous Gisondo after the break.  Warning: Explicit

"Young Rock," Episode 2.8: The Rock hits the big time, with lots of locker room beefcake and bulges

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Shane Michael Parker: Soldier, stunt cock, wolf fan, gay BDSM performer?

Shane Michael Parker was "proudly born" in 1994, grew up in Ohio, spent time overseas in the military, and moved to South Carolina in 2016, at the age of 22, to pursue an acting career. Why, was Los Angeles full? 

As Shane Miclette, he worked as a production assistant on the horror movies Separation and Scream (2022).  He filmed an appearance as Matthew in the second season of Outer Banks (2021) but his scene was cut.

As Shane Michael Parker, he played a Confederate soldier in Lessons from Ebenezer Creek, (2021), about a massacre of recently enslaved African Americans in North Carolina in 1864.

His most impressive role to date is in  Righteous Gemstones Episode 2.1, a flashback to 1968, when Young Eli, the Maniac Kid, bests his opponent in a huge wrestling arena, then goes back to the locker room to talk to his manager, Glendon Marsh.   

A muscular naked guy walks from the showers across the scene. Glendon says   "Nice cock, Ernie."

There is no "Ernie" in the cast list. Either Glendon is talking about someone off-stage, or the naked guy's name was changed to Jason, played by Shane.

Glendon's son Junior gawks at Jason's dick, so overwhelmed that he trips, then catches himself and turns to peek at his bare butt.  

The gay/bi coding continues when the elderly Junior shows up in Charleston to reunite with his old friend or boyfriend Eli.

Of course, I wanted to learn more about this guy whose dick is so instrumental in establishing the gay-subtext Eli-Junior friendship in Season 2.

Shane doesn't have much of an online presence,  so I haven't found out much about him except that he has one or two kids, both girls, and he lives in a small town about two hours from Charleston.   

There are some photos online of Shane with a wife or girlfriend, and on a visit to Wolf Country USA in Palmer, Alaska, which closed in 2011 after the owner was fined for owning and selling wolf hybrids. So Shane was about 16?

Shane himself was arrested in November 2022 for telephone harassment: "repeatedly contacting and threatening the victim by phone."  He also had a felony fugitive warrant from Ohio.So maybe the name change has to do with the fugitive warrant?   

A search for nude photos on dating sites yields only a blurry butt pic.  And this:

Naked Shane, probably, after the break