Eddie Ramos: Teen chimera with a boyfriend, gay cage fighter, probably gay artist, DMV short guy. With his butt and cock, of course.

 

In DMV Episode 1.10 (2026), Department of Motor Vehicles employee Colette is upset because she's not part of the Hot Gurlz Friend List that her coworker Ceci maintains.  She spends the day making inept attempts at sexual double entendres, but it doesn't convince Ceci to let her join.  

Finally she sees the electrician Miguel (Eddie Ramos) standing on a ladder to repair something: Ceci's favorite cousin, and the family's "pride and joy."  After a brief conversation, MIguel asks Colette out.  She agrees: this could get her a place on the Hot Gurlz list.

Uh-oh, when Miguel descends the ladder, he turns out to be short -- 5'7".  A massive turn-on for me, but for some reason Colette is no longer attracted to him.  But she has to go through with the date to ensure her place on Ceci's list.

After seeking the advice of DMV weirdo Vic (Tony Cavalero), she decides to trick Miguel into refusing future dates, so it won't be her fault and she can stay on the list.   Sitcom complications follow, but I was busy researching Eddie Ramos. 

Eddie grew up in Queens, received a BFA from Syracuse University in 2013, and participated in the ABC Diversity Showcase in 2014. Diversity because he's Hispanic, because he's gay, or both?

The good news: Of his 29 acting credits listed on the IMDB, at least three are gay roles.

On a 2015 episode of Teen Wolf.  high schooler Corey (Michael Johnston) tells the gang that his new boyfiend Lucas (Eddie) suddenly turned into a chimera-werewolf-scorpion hybrid and stung him.  This turns him into a chimera, too.  The evil Lucas then goes to a gay club, picks up Mason (Khylin Rhambo), and tries to sting him.  But the good guys arrive, and he is killed in the ensuing fight.  Not to worry Corey and Mason start dating, and stay together through the two seasons.

The short Bitch, Please (2016) doesn't have a plot synopsis online, but presumably it's about gay guys throwing shade.

Incorporated (2016-17) stars Sean Teale as a "little guy" trying to take down an evil corporation in 2074.  Eddie plays Theo, a gay street kid turned cage fighter who becomes his ally.. He starts dating Anthony (Matt Landry, left).

Plus he appeared in six episodes of the gay-friendly Animal Kingdom (2018-19) as Tupi, a straight gang member who gets killed while naked.

The bad news:

Eddie played straight guys in Vici and Eraser: Reborn, and maybe in some of his guest roles, on Mr. Mayor, Hightown, Chicago Med, The Rookie, and so on.  I don't see a lot of gay content.  

In an episode 9-1-1 Nashville (2016): Pedro (Eddie) is working on a mural, when a scaffolding collapses.  He is buried, then suffers a spinal injury.  In the hospital, he worries that he won't be able to do his art anymore.   An artist, no girlfriend visiting him in the hospital: two queer codes.  But no canon.

More good news and bad news after the break.  Caution: Explicit.

David Naughton: The cutest guy of the Disco Era tells us to "Be a Pepper" and shows us his d*ck

 

Is this not the cutest guy you've ever seen?  Other than Wes Stern (sigh) and Adam Devine, of course.

Between 1977 and 1981, the recent University of Pennsylvania graduate David Naughton could be seen in dozens of tv commercials, prancing about in a white shirt, black vest, and bulging jeans, selling Dr. Pepper.

"I'm a Pepper -- wouldn't you like to be a Pepper, too?"

I don't like the soft drink, but the spokesman was one of my first crushes.

David's fame from the commercials led to an invitation to star in Makin' It (1979), a rip-off of Saturday Night Fever with David and Greg Antonacci as disco-dancing brothers.  He also recorded the theme song:

Makin' it, oo makin' it, I'm solid gold.

I've got the goods

They stand when I walk through the neighborhoods

I'm makin' it

"Hit tv series" was a little premature: Makin' It was canned after nine episodes.

Next came Midnight Madness (1980), with teams of college students on an all-night scavenger hunt.  David's team, the good guys, includes his younger brother (Michael J. Fox before Family Ties).  There are also teams of jocks, spoiled rich kids, and girls.  I didn't notice any gay subtexts.

But American Werewolf in London (1981) has one.

College students David and Griffin Dunne are hiking through the Scottish highlands, when they are attacked by a werewolf.  Griffin is killed, and David turns, in scenes that emphasize his physique and penis.

More after the break

Martin Spanjers: Eight simple rules for determining if the "Eight Simple Rules" kid is gay

 

Rule 1: Does his character gawk at guys in the shower?

This is a still from Epiosde 3.1 of the  TGIF sitcom Eight Simple Rules (2002-2005).  It was originally Eight Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter, about an overprotective Dad played by John Ritter, but when Ritter died, it became a general family-angst dramedy.  I never watched, but in 2004 you could hardly turn on your computer without seeing Martin Spanjers as the teenage Rory gawking at Sam Horrigan.  

Only Seasons 1-2 are available to stream on Disney Plus, so I don't know what's going on in the scene, except that Rory doesn't want to shower after gym class due to his less than adequate package.  Maybe Sam Horrigan is a high school jock?  

2. Does he play a gay-vague teenager?

Fan consensus is that Rory is one of those gay-vague sitcom kids, soft, shy, pretty, and struggling valiantly to act girl-crazy because on American sitcoms, all teenage boys must be girl-crazy.

3. Does he show his butt on screen?

The next time I saw Martin Spanjers, he was still naked, playing the teenage shapeshifter Sam Merlotte in a 2009 episode of True Blood, about vampires, werewolves, and various other magical beings in rural Louisiana.  When you shift back to human form, you lose your clothes, so he's naked when he breaks into a house looking for food or something to steal.

4. Does he have a gay-subtext role?

The house happens to belong to a maenid (minor goddess) named Maryanne, who naturally wants to have sex with him.  He steals $10,000 on his way out, which causes the adult Sam Merlotte a lot of headaches.  

Although the encounter is heterosexual, Sam is homeless because his parents kicked him out when they discovered his "secret."  We can see a reflection of gay teens ejected by homophobic parents.  About 40% of homeless youth are LGBT.

More after the break

"Wednesday": The Top 13 Hunks and Hunkoids of Nevermore Academy, some gay, some with d*cks

 

The second season of Wednesday, featuring the boarding-school adventures of the Addams Family girl, has dropped on Netflix.  Again there seem to be no gay characters.  Netflix is usually good at LGBT representation; I'm guessing that it's the Charles Addams estate that wants Wednesday's world to be gay-free.  

But there are a number of gay actors, and a variety of hunks and hunkoids to add to the queer enjoyment of the series.

1. Hunter Doohan as Tyler, son of the local sheriff and secretly a hyde (werewolf).

Hunter's backside.

Hunter is gay, and married to Fielder Jewett.

2. Isaac Ordonez as Pugsley, Wednesday's younger brother, a new student at the school.  He's also a fashion model who wears multiple rings, so I assume that he's gay.

3. Georgie Farmer as Ajax Petropolus, a gorgon student at Nevermore Academy.  His social media doesn't mention a girlfriend, so....

4. Luis Guzman (right) as Wednesday's father Gomez, who gets a plotline in Season 2.  

Short and chubby, two selling points, if he's available.

5. Haley Joel Osment, the "I see dead people" kid, as a serial killer.  I've always assumed that he's gay, but Google AI says he's straight (or rather "not gay").

6. Moosa Mostafa as Eugene, Wednesday's ally, who has a crush on her roommate. 

More after the break

Andrew Matarazzo: Gay icon, geographer, werewolf hunter, wacky model. Even his butt pics are a little wacky.

 

I've had some beefcake and nude photos of Andrew Matarazzo in my files for a long time, without knowing who he is or what he's been in.  

When you're hung, what's the difference?

Finally I got around to checking him out on the IMDB: 27 acting credits, including the gay themed Geography Club and West Hollywood Motel, plus guest spots on Girls, Royal Pains, Speechless, Jane the Virgin, and Solar Opposites. 

 He had a seven episode story arc on Teen Wolf as Gabe, a student at Beacon Hills who plays on the lacrosse team and turns out to be a Hunter. His character didn't have much time for relationships, but he did have a gay-subtext buddy bond with Nolan, played by Froy Guttierez.

Andrew appears to be gay in real life, although there weren't any shot of boyfriends on his social media.

Just some nudes and fashion modeling.

More nudes and fashions after the break

The Quarry: Skyler Gisondo and some gay/bi hunks fight werewolves at a summer camp

 

Someone on Reddit said that Skyler Gisondo was starring in a movie called The Quarry, so I looked it up on Hulu.  No Skyler Gisondo.  Turns out that he is the star of a video game called The Quarry.

I haven't actually played a video game since Super Mario Brothers sometime in the 1990s, so I didn't realize how lifelike the characters are now, practically identical to the actors hired to voice them.  

The premise: after the summer camp of Hackett's Quarry ends, so there are no kids around, the remaining teenage counselors are attacked by werewolves and crazy redneck locals.  They have to survive the night, find out who is sending the werewolves, and develop romances.  You can play any of 18 teen and adult characters, including:

1. Max (Skyler Gisondo, top photo), who is at the camp with his girlfriend, a future veterinarian (useful for treating wounded werewolves).

2. Ryan (Justice Smith), a quiet, reclusive, artistic type who can be played as gay or straight. Yes, that's his dick.

3. Jacob (Zack Tinker), the dudebro who signed on as a counselor in order to get drunk and have sex with babes.

More after the break

"True Blood": Vampires come out of the closet amid a Southern Gothic soap opera, with some vamp dicks

We have completely run out of tv shows to watch, except for The Simpsons and Doctor Who, which go on forever, so last night we latched onto True Blood, which ran from 2008 to 2014 on HBO.

This is the stereotypic South of Eudora Welty and Mama's Family, where people named Hoyt Fortenberry shop at the Piggly-Wiggly and drink sweet tea on the veranda, where everyone is related to everybody else's great-grand daddy once removed, and where the War means the Civil War...um, I mean the War of Yankee Aggression.   

It starts in media res, two years after vampires have "come out of the coffin," har har -- yep, the connection with LGBT people is just that heavy-handed -- due to the invention of artificial blood, brand name True Blood, which some humans have developed a taste for.  Snooty fratboy Brett (Josh Kelly, left), looking for a store that sells it, learns too late that every long-haired, multi-ringed Goth isn't a vampire; and sometimes chubby rednecks are.

We switch to the problems of Tara, who gets fired from or quits every job because she doesn't abide idiots and her best friend Sookie, who can read minds.  Sookie and soon Tara work at Merlotte's Bar, where the owner, Sam Merlotte (Sam Trammell, top photo and left), is in love with her.  He won't come out with it, but of course Sookie can read his mind.

The only gay character so far is the bar's swishy cook, Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis), a stereotyped flamboyant, promiscuous queen who  claims he's done most of the men in town, and likes to flirt with racist, homophobic rednecks to get them all scared. He doesn't get a boyfriend until late in the series.

That same evening, the bar's other waitress, Maudette, hooks up with Sookie's brother, Jason (Ryan Kwanten).  She's a fangbanger, a human who likes sex with vampires, because they get rough.  She offers to show him the video, which turns him on so much that he wants to do rough sex, including strangling her...a little too enthusiastically.  And she's taping the encounter!

Kwanten butt after the break