Eight Penises and Packages of South Carolina


I've been to South Carolina several times -- I have relatives in Walterboro, about an hour west of Charleston, and I had a job interview at the University of South Carolina on eyear.  Here are some photos of South Carolina penises and packages that I may or may not have seen in real life

The nude photos are all from public websites or posted with permission of the subject.

1.Walterboro nude




2. Spiderman, ready for trick-or-treating in Charleston's French Quarter









3. At home, Charleston











Old City Market, Charleston







4.Halloween Parade











5. Gullah Island

More after the break









"Wednesday": The Top 13 Hunks and Hunkoids of Nevermore Academy, some gay, some with d*cks

 


The second season of Wednesday, featuring the boarding-school adventures of the Addams Family girl, has dropped on Netflix.  Again there seem to be no gay characters.  Netflix is usually good at LGBT representation; I'm guessing that it's the Charles Addams estate that wants Wednesday's world to be gay-free.  

But there are a number of gay actors, and a variety of hunks and hunkoids to add to the queer enjoyment of the series.

1. Hunter Doohan as Tyler, son of the local sheriff and secretly a hyde (werewolf).






Hunter's backside.

Hunter is gay, and married to Fielder Jewett.












2. Isaac Ordonez as Pugsley, Wednesday's younger brother, a new student at the school.  He's also a fashion model who wears multiple rings, so I assume that he's gay.












3. Georgie Farmer as Ajax Petropolus, a gorgon student at Nevermore Academy.  His social media doesn't mention a girlfriend, so....












4. Luis Guzman (right) as Wednesday's father Gomez, who gets a plotline in Season 2.  









Short and chubby, two selling points, if he's available.

5. Haley Joel Osment, the "I see dead people" kid, as a serial killer.  I've always assumed that he's gay, but Google AI says he's straight (or rather "not gay").

6. Moosa Mostafa as Eugene, Wednesday's ally, who has a crush on her roommate. 

More after the break

Gemstones Episode 4.8, Continued: We finally see Big Dick Mitch, the boy named Stacy, a serial killer, and a lot of tied-up guys



Previous: Gemstones Episode 4.8: BJ's hookup, Corey's birthday blade, and Tyler's tree trunk

Earlier in the episode, we saw the homophobic Vance Simkins dragged offstage, BJ getting up out of his wheelchair and walking again, Teenjus in a dance competition, and Cobb Milsap gifting his son Corey with a very special knife.  






The Songs Aimee-Leigh and Lori Wrote:  
  The siblings are ending a very long board meeting.  They're anxious to go home, but Martin insists on bringing in one last visitor.  What is he, their receptionist?

It's Lori Milsap, Eli's ex-girlfriend!  She needs to talk to Eli, but he won't answer her calls or texts.  They growl and posture, and yell about how much they hate her, until she proves that she loves them.

 1. When Judy was a few months old, they had to drive to Nashville for a show, and Aimee-Leigh missed her so much that she couldn't stop crying.  So they wrote "Little Angels, Big Hearts." Why did you leave your three-month old baby at home? And by the way, that's an eight-hour drive.  You'd better fly.

2. When Kelvin was about 12, he was in a piano concert in Atlanta.  He forgot his lucky shoes, but Mama convinced him to play anyhow.  And they wrote "Barefoot and Praying."  Why does Kelvin's musical talent appear in flashbacks, but never in the present?  He doesn't even own a piano.

3. When Gideon was a baby, he got a fever, and they didn't know if he would make it.  Jesse stayed up all night, holding his hand, and they wrote "Heaven's Thunder," about finding the strength to never give up.  Hey, I'm tearing up. My dad stayed up all night with me once when I was sick.   

This actually proves that Aimee-Leigh loved them, not Lori, but the siblings are moved, and agree to help her contact Eli. 

Big Dick Mitch:  After their lunch,  Eli and Baby Billy get into their car.  Suddenly they get darted, and go unconscious!   Cobb grabbed them in the middle of the afternoon , in the parking lot of a busy restaurant?  

They awaken several hours later, tied up in a concrete room, with a naked, collared man who says he was kidnapped.



Eli: "Are you Big Dick Mitch?"

Baby Billy: "That's an odd thing to comment on."  Dude can't help it if he likes dicks, Baby Billy. Remember, he dated Junior.

Notice that Big Dick Mitch is actually quite small. Lori would know this.  I think Cobb gave him the nickname to embarrass him, and told his son -- uh-oh, Corey is in on it, or at least aware of it and protecting Cobb.

Mitch is played by Regan Burns, an actor and comedian best known as the Dad on Dog with a Blog  He has 83 credits on the IMDB.

Cobb enters and introduces Mitch as "a good boy," using a taser to keep him cowering.  He explains that  "I keep Mitch alive because he entertains me," implying that he usually kills Lori's boyfriends.

He's not sure if he will kill Eli and Baby Billy, or break them down, "see how long it takes you to crack, make y'all my womans."  

"You ain't gonna make me a woman!" Baby Billy exclaims.

"I'll make you whatever I want."  He unzips and pulls it out (unseen).  Mitch whimpers as he starts to lower into position for sucking his dick.  Then suddenly Stacy pages him: "the police are here.  They'd like a word."


Stacy is actually a guy, played by Michael Berthold.  Cobb seems to be promoting traditional hegemonic masculinity with the contention that someone who plays a passive role in same-sex activity is a "woman," yet he doesn't seem bothered by a long-haired, androgynous boy with a girl's name?

Michael Berthold grew up in Apopka, north of Orlando, Florida, and as of this writing is a student at the University of Florida, Gainsville.  He has 28 acting credits on the IMDB, including Billy the Fetus (2016), for which he won a Young Actors Award, and  The Peanut Butter Falcon (2019), where he worked with Shia LaBeouf.

And he owns a Great Dane.




I like him so much that I have been writing fan fiction where he dates Pontius.




More after the break

Ansel Pierce: "Duster" Baby Face and "Euphoria" BIg Dick, with Rat Boy, Chubby Guy, and West Hollywood digressions

 


In Duster Episode 1.4, 1970s mob driver Jim Ellis (why not name him Duster?) and the boss's Probably Gay Son (Josh Holloway, Benjamin Charles Watson) are transporting Howard Hughes' car across the Arizona desert, when they almost crash into a car being driven by two guys who aren't named, so I'll call them Rat Boy (left) and Baby Face (right).  

They look like  Mormon missionaries, but their bumper sticker says "Vacuums suck," so they may be salesmen. 


Jim/Duster and Probably Gay Son stop at Floyd's Gas and Go, and the guys follow.  Ulp, their trunk is filled with guns, cables, ropes, and baseball bats embedded with spikes.  They're baddies!  While Jim/Duster is occupied with an unrelated assassination attempt, the Mormon missionary-baddies beat up the mechanic and the Probably Gay Son, and steal the car!   

Jim/Duster and his assassin-turned-ally track them down and kill them, Baby Face with a knife to his head (through an open car window while they're driving side by side), and Rat Boy with a shot in the back.

We learn no more about the characters, but I wanted to research the actors, especially Baby Face.


Rat Boy is played by Garrett Young, who has 13 acting credits on IMDB, including Timid Pimps, Other People's Heads (where he played a head), and Chicago Justice/Med/Fire. 

As a stage actor, he has appeared in John Proctor is the Villain on Broadway, Clyde's, and The Oresteia.  






His Instagram has the "no women," "a lot of hugging guys," and "world's best uncle" gay codes until you get to the very end, where there are a lot of photos of his wife and kid.

On to Baby Face.






We've seen him before -- a lot of him.  He is Ansel Wolf Pierce, best known as Caleb, a recurring character in Euphoria Season 2, and particularly for the house party scene in Episode 2.1: Cassie is hiding in the bathtub when he comes in and sits on the toilet, revealing a..Holy sh*t, that thing is huge!  Noticing her, he apologizes: "You're really hot but I still gotta take a sh*t."  She doesn't mind.

I repeat: Holy sh*t, that thing is huge!












We see his backside, too, but who was paying attention?

Plus Ansel has a social media presence, for a change.

A "versatile young talent making waves in the world of modeling and acting" (and d*cks), he graduated from Fossil Ridge High School in Fort Collins, Colorado, in 2018, then studied business at the University of Colorado.  

While he was in college, a photographer noticed him (and his d*ck) and invited him to L.A. for a fashion shoot.  He decided that modeling would be his career.

Today Ansel is represented by Wilhelmina Models, where he is listed as 6'2", waist 38, shoe size 12, d*ck size  -- well, we already know about that.


More after the break

Case Walker: ChaseDreams from "The Other Two" grows up, plays a monster, displays his delts and...stuff. With n*de Chase, Tarver, and Fin



 Case Walker was as a kid growing up in Denver who hosted weekly podcasts on social media platforms, and within a year had 1.7 million followers and a new television program. The Other Two  were Brook and Cary Dubek (Heléne Yorke, Drew Tarver, left), a failed dancer and aspiring actor dealing with the sudden fame of their 13-year old brother, Chase (Case Walker), aka teen pop sensation ChaseDreams. 




At least in the first season (2019).  In the second and third seasons (2021, 2023), Brooke and Drew get the lion's share of plotlines, negotiating increasing success, friendships, and romances.









  For instance, Dreew dates Lucas (Fin Argus), a method actor who stays in character off camera and therefore refuses sex. 






ChaseDreams still appeared in nearly every episode, but he has very few centrics.  The writers just didn't know what to do with him. Turn him into a bad boy, with pink hair and a lot of tattoos? Make him a fake mental health advocate?  Have him date a girl who isn't a fan?

Viewers mostly ignored him. It was much more interesting to see a non-swishy gay guy who actually had a romantic life.








While we weren't paying attention, Case grew up.  As of this writing, he's 22 years old, and buffed.  No, ripped.  No -- have you ever seen delts like that?

More after the break

"Final Destination: Blood Legacy": Death has a wacky sense of humor. With Travis Turner, the gay guy from "Chucky," and a n*de security guard


Final Destination
is a movie franchise about people who escape death, so Death tracks them down and offs them in complex, gruesome ways that would make Rube Goldberg proud.  Final Destination: Bloodlines (2025), on HBO MAX, gets a score of 93% Fresh on Rotten Tomatoes, and reviews of "a scary streaming hit with a surprising amount of heart."  I'm looking for beefcake and gay characters, of course.






Scene 1:
A blindfolded girl is apparently going to her Sweet Sixteen party with her father.  She asks for a hint, but he will only say "You'll love it!"  They end up at a fancy building, the Sky Tower, with a weird fountain outside.  She is thrilled: "I didn't even know it was open yet!"

"I pulled some favors, and got us on the list for opening night."  How are people in movies always pulling in favors.  Who are they granting this big favors for?

Transistor radio playing Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire" (1963).  This is the mid-1960s.


First misdirection: "Dad" is made up to look much older than "Daughter," but actually they are only eight years apart: Paul (Max Lloyd Jones, age 34) and his girlfriend Iris (Brec Bassinger, age 26) 

The Evil Penny-Dropping Kid (Noah Bromley, who deserves an Oscar for his smouldering malice) is nabbed for fishing coins out of the fountain, then pushes ahead of them to get on the elevator.  It is overcrowded, but the Elevator Operator (Travis Turner) says that there's plenty of room.   Don't believe it.  I saw that Twilight Zone episode.

Uneasy, Iris agrees to squeeze in with Paul. 

The dang floor is glass!  Penny Dropping Kid starts jumping up and down to scare her more.


And they make it to the Skyview Restaurant. Unfortunately, their reservation has been cancelled, so they sit at the bar, while we see the various set-ups for the deaths and destruction: people dancing on the glass floor, a pricked finger, a chef doing a flambé, a woman singing "I came tumbling down," and so on.  Back story: Iris is pregnant, but hasn't told her boyfriend yet.

They walk up the stairs to the observation deck, where Paul decides to pop the question.  But then the Penny-Dropping Kid drops the penny, starting a chain reaction that reveals the structural faults and will send the whole tower tumbling down.

Down on the main floor, as the singer sings "Shout!", they all jump up and down on the glass floor.  It caves in, and people fall to the ground.  Lol, the parking valets are playing "Raindrops Keep Fallin' on my Head"!.  Then the whole place catches on fire and explodes. The Elevator Operator tries to guide everyone down the stairs, but they crumble.  He guides them onto the elevator, but it splats.  The tower topples.  Iris and a little boy are hanging on..,they fall and die!

Scene 2: Psych!  It was just a dream.  In the modern era, Stef awakes screaming during her university math lecture (in a giant lecture hall, like even the most advanced classes in movies).  The Professor yells at her.

Later, in the dorm room, Stef has the same dream, and wakes up screaming. Her roommate yells at her for having the same dream every night and waking her up. The woman in her dream is named Iris -- her grandmother's name!  She's dreaming about her grandma, who she never met.  No wonder, she died before she could give birth to Stef's mother.


Scene 3
: Stef is determined to track down her Grandma Iris and find out what the dream means. Back home, she greets her dad (Tipo Lee),  who is happy to see her, and sibling Charlie, who is not.  Dead end: Dad threw out all of Grandma's stuff after Mom abandoned them. 

More after the break

Hell-fer-Sartain: After a horrible year teaching at Homophobia U., I escape to Anywhere That's Not Texas

 

After getting my M.A. from  Indiana University, I spent a year (actually 210 dreadful days) in Hell-fer-Sartain, Texas, about 15 miles north of Houston -- which meant an hour's drive on thoses parking lots they called freeways -- teaching English at Homophobia State University.  Nine months of frustration, anger, embarrassment, loneliness, anger, frustration, and frustration. 

1. The entire population of the U.S. moved to Houston that summer, so no one knew how to do anything.  The bank gave me checks for one account and put my money in another.  I used to walk down the street and pick up my mail from all of the houses where the postman dumped it.

2. And the most minor task, even going out to eat, meant a 30-minute drive in bumper-to-bumper traffic, past a construction site (so flat tires were a constant hassle), and waiting in an endless line.

3. I lived in a two-room apartment with no heat ("this is the South -- we don't need heat") in the coldest winter Houston had seen since 1891, with a heavy-metal enthusiast in the apartment next door and Larry the Cable Guy downstairs.


4. The students in English Composition were beyond illiterate; in Survey of American Literature, they complained to the department chair when I assigned poems by Emily Dickinson and Langston Hughes (only white men counted as canon); and in my side job teaching report writing at Houston Police Academy, they passed out a map of the neighborhoods where "homosexuals and other deviants" congregated.  















5. God forbid I come out to anyone, so I was beset upon by male colleagues asking me to rate the attractiveness of female movie stars, and female colleagues trying to fix me up with their unmarried sisters and nieces.

Left: University of Houston Chapel.  Ask the Hunky Jesus for deliverance.









6. The Montrose neighborhood had clandestine gay bars and the Wilde and Stein Bookstore, but it was too frustrating to get to, with hour-long traffic jams and constant flat tires, so I depended on a personal ad in The Montrose Voice.  First I was looking for dates, but soon I settled for a hookup.  Even then, it was a mess: 

"Why do you want to know my name? Are you a cop?"

"There was a car in the driveway of a house three doors down, so I got scared and bailed."

"Meet me at the public restroom somewhere far away, and we'll do it there."

The nickname comes from South from Hell-fer-Sartan, a collection of Kentucky folk tales.

I applied for jobs and graduate programs furiously, and finally made it into USC!  I'd be moving to West Hollywood!  But first I had to go home to Rock Island for the summer.

I purposely didn't assign any final papers or final exams, so classes ended on Thursday, and I was ready to go on Friday.  I walked my final grades to the horrible dean's office, turned in my office key, walked through the sweltering Sahara of a parking lot, and started driving.

The quickest way to get back to Rock Island was to head north, but that would mean five more hours in Texas, so instead I drove south on the I-45 toward Houston for twelve miles.

Fortunately I turned onto the I-610 before it became a parking lot.

Ten more miles around the eastern edge of Houston in traffic that was just horrible, not a parking lot.  Mostly I was surrounded by roaring trucks and nondescript Brutoian warehouses

Then the I-10 east in more horrible traffic through horrible Houston suburbs: Jacinto City, Cloverleaf, Channel View. Greens Bayou, Marwood.

Left: Jacinto City wrestlers.

I hooked up  with a guy in Jacinto City once.  I felt like the town's first  mayor, a guy named Inch Handler.

The suburbs went on endlessly. Nothing to see but billboards, car dealerships, warehouses, and the occasional streetful of fast-food joints.

Past Burnett Bay, the traffic thinned out,  and the highway narrowed.  I was out of Houston's clutches, but still in Texas, driving through a swampy no man's land,without even a billboard.

Or a rest stop.  I didn't care. I wasn't stopping until Texas was a distant memory.

At the small redneck town of Winnie, home of the Texas Rice Festival, the I-10 veered northeast.

More after the break