Hector Garcia: The um...androgynous kid from "Everybody Hates Chris" has a husband...I mean good buddy....and a cock

 

Everybody Hates Chris (2005-09), with comedian Chris Rock narrating his childhood experiences in the 1980s:  sure, it had a lot of beefcake, with Dad Terry Crews and brother Tequan Richmond (left).  At least in the first two seasons, there was a strong gay-subtext romance between Young Chris (Tyler James Williams, who as an adult strongly defends himself against gay "accusations") and Greg (Vincent Martella, who is gay but was not out at the time).    But there were frequent homophobic digs, for no apparent reason than to invite the audience to share the grown-up Chris's homophobia.

At a party, a boy is kissing a long-haired person wearing pants, and the grown-up Chris exclaims "I sure hope that's a girl!"  It's your show.  Why not just tell the director to make sure everyone is obviously heterosexual in the scene?  

When the grown-up Chris thinks that Young Chris and Greg are getting too close, he exclaims "Hey, this ain't Brokeback!"  So you're expressing homophobia at yourself as a boy? You got issues, dude.

No gay people appear or are mentioned; the closest they dared come was Angel (Hector A. Garcia).

In Episode 4.2, "Everybody Hates Cake," Chris signs up for a home economics class as a way to get close to the Girl of His Dreams Remember, heteronormativity dictates that the teenage boy has only one motive for every action: to get girls.  He is partnered with femme boy Angel, who is besties with the Girl but can't cook.  That's why you take the class, nimrod.  Maybe they could help each other, an introduction in exchange for cooking lessons?   

The femme mannerisms make Chris extremely uncomfortable, but --winning the Girl!  Dad advises him that some men are...um...er...androgynous.  But they can't help it.  You shouldn't shun someone for something that's not their fault.  So Chris agrees to the trade, but when he starts to like Angel and asks to hang out, the snobbish (grown-up Chris: racist) jerk rejects him.  

I wanted to know about the actor playing the um...er...androgynous Angel,  Hector A. Garcia.  Is he...um...er... androgynous in real life?

First, any...um...er...androgynous roles?

Hector grew up in Pacoima, California, just north of Burbank.  He is a "Proud Valley Boy" and "professional couch potato."  His acting career begins in 2003 with the shorts Carter's Wish (everybody's wishes start coming true, literally) and La Cerca (the 17-year old Niño discovers "a world beyond the barbed-wire fence" of his grandfather's ranch).

Next came some guest spots on tv series -- In Justice, The Cleaner, The Shield, NCIS -- where he apparently played Hispanic teens in graffiti-strewn neighborhoods.

After Chris, Hector starred in five episodes of Brothers (2009) -- not to be confused with the psychological thriller Brothers (2009), or Brothers and Sisters (2006-2011), which has a gay sibling.  This one had Michael Strahan and Daryl Mitchell as estranged brothers running a restaurant.  Hector plays a cook. 

Coincidentally, Tichina Arnold, the Mom on Everybody Hates Chris, plays Cynthia.  

Then came some guest spots on Till Death, Bad Therapy, Booze Lightyear, and Good Samaritans.  

And The Undershepherd (2012): Two best friend ministers rise in the ranks of the Baptist Church, but one is being led by God, and the other by Satan.  

Hector plays TD, presumably a church member.  The Baptist Church doesn't look kindly on um...er...androgynous men, so appearing in this movie suggests that our boy is straight.

In 2016, Hector became the producer/ writer/ star of The Office Chronicles, a short about "true feelings revealed" at the office: Jerry (Hector) is in love with Becky, but she's in love with Sean (Marlon Begue), who absolutely cannot act, and admits an infidelity, whereupon she dumps him.  Sounds heteronormative. Dude is definitely a straight Baptist.

.

Wait -- in 2021, Hector starred in the podcast No Such Thing, not to be confused with the supernatural thriller No Such Thing (2021).  Hector plays Jesus, a gay guy who is working in a bookstore and dating Don (Jimmy Clabots, butt left).  He comes out to Mom and Dad in the last episode.

I'm confused.  Are you um...er...androgynous or not, buddy boy?

More after the break

Elias Harger: the "Fuller House" femme boy, victim of ghosts and maniacal mothers, grows up to date a Jewish champion. With hung Hagenbuch and some twinks

 

I never watched Full House (1987-95), the TGIF warmedy about three dads raising three girls in a gay-free San Francisco: it was on Friday nights, when I had other things to do, and besides, it sounded awful.  Although John Stamos as Uncle Jesse was quite a hunk.

(In those days, you knew about all of the popular tv shows, even if you had never seen them).

And I never watched the sequel Fuller House (2016-2020), about the grown-up girls sharing a house: it sounded awful, and besides, Candace Cameron Bure (focus character DJ Tanner) made it very clear that she didn't like gay people and would not permit them on her show.  Presumably she meant gay characters, or did she check all 100-plus members of the cast and crew for rainbow flags?

Apparently the homophobia didn't stop with Candace.  According to a review, Fuller House was a "thoroughly offensive mess," with "gays are hilarious" jokes every episode: "we're expected to laugh at the mere suggestion that a character might be experiencing same-sex attraction."   

Then why, according to the fan wiki, was DJ's son Max Fuller a "closeted gay boy?"

Max was played by Elias Harger, shown here with Adam Hagenbuch as his Uncle Jimmy Gibbler.

 Surely Candace would never permit a gay boy on the show, especially as DJ's son.

Time to check Max's character arc. 

In Seasons 1-2,  he is a femme boy with a gay-subtext relationship with his friend Taylor (Lucas Jaye) and occasional references to same-sex interest, such as a crush on Blake Sheldon.  

Then in the Season 2 Christmas episode, he meets the Girl of His Dreams, Rose.  Taylor becomes his competitor for her attention.  

Max and Rose pursue an on-off romance through Season 6.

So, did the writers actually plan for Max to be gay, then change their minds when Candace yelled at them, or was it just a matter of "isn't same-sex desire hilarious?"

We can get a clue by checking to see if Elias Harger is gay in real life.  

According to his IMDB biography, Elias grew up in Denver and Atlanta, where he participated in community theater from the age of five, starring in Shrek: the Musical and A Christmas Carol (no, he didn't play Scrooge).

He moved on screen in 2014, playing Peter Pan, a boy who remembers his past lives (The Ghost Inside My Child), and a mysterious boy kidnapped by a serial killer (Popsy)

In 2015, a boy haunted by the ghost of his evil grandmother (Granny).

In 2016, he was cast as Max in Fuller House, but he also found time for more dark, disturbing movies to counteract the homophobic family-friendly smarm.

In 2017, Elias played a boy who disapproves of the new baby in the family.  If they're going to bring in new kids, he'll bring in a new mother (The Arrival).  

In 2018, the son of a female funeral director with a dark secret -- she likes her men like she likes her popsicles -- cold and hard (Dead Love).

His only post-Fuller role is in the animated Felix and the Hidden Treasure (2021).  Felix (Elias, Daniel Brochu) and his talking cat go off in search of his missing father, and run afoul of baddies dressed as superheroes. 

As of this writing, Elias is attending Georgia State University in Atlanta, majoring in music, hoping to become a concert pianist, or else a pianist on a cruise ship.

So no specifically gay roles, but there aren't a lot of gay roles for kids.  What about gay in real life?  First, check out Adam Hagenbuch, beefcake here and cock after the break.

Luke Speakman: The femme bully of "Weapons" meets a lot of hunks, likes capybaras, plays a boy raised as a girl. With Dad and Dylan dicks

 

When I saw Weapons (2025), a thriller about the mysterious disappearance of all of the kids in a third grade class (except one), I thought that the bully (right) was a girl due to their long hair and femme mannerisms -- until their dad called them Matthew (played by Luke Speakman).

There is a positively portrayed gay couple in the movie (played by Benedict Wong and Clayton Farris), and it's quite a welcome change to have the femme boy the bully instead of the victim, so writer/director Zach Creger is obviously a queer ally. But Matthew is not on screen long enough to express any same-sex interests (besides, the rule in movies is, all kids must be portrayed as heterosexual).  But maybe Luke Speakman is gay in real life. 

Left: Luke meets his crush, Merrick Hanna.

Left: Luke's birthday in April 2025: "Turned 12 today!  Guess I'm old now!"  Just wait, buddy.

Growing up in a heteronormative society, gay boys are often unaware that they like boys, or interpret their interest as friendship or hero worship.  And if they are aware, they are unlikely to mention it on their parent-curated social media pages.  But maybe we can catch some glimmers of same-sex interest to augment Luke's femme appearance.

Born in Athens, Georgia in 2013, Luke began acting on screen at age five, in Steven Spielberg's Amazing Stories (2020): he plays the young version of Sam (Dylan O'Brien, left), who goes through a time portal to the 1920s and meets Girl of His Dreams (be careful, she could be your great-grandmother).

Next came seven episodes of the podcast series The Burned Photo (2021-22): two women's "lives become intertwined when they discover they are being terrorized by the same multi-generational curse that is determined to end their family lineages."  So some lesbian subtexts going on?

Five episodes of Lost Man Down (2022), about an aspiring actor masquerading as a talent agent.  Luke plays a baseball fan who believes in aspiring player Takeshi (Tsuyoshi Kusanagi, center).  The guy with them is not Tsuyoshi's boyfriend.  I don't think.

An Asian hunk.  Not particularly relevant, but none of the adult stars of Lost Man Down have nude photos.

More after the break

"Weapons": Mysterious disappearances, a positive gay couple, a scary clown lady, a femme boy, and a lot of nude dudes. What's not to like?

 
Weapons (2025), on MAX: in the stereotypic small town of Maybrook, Pennsylvania, 17 of the 18 children in a third grade class disappear from their beds at exactly 2:17 am.  Security cams show them sneaking out of their houses and running into the woods, with their arms out like they're pretending to fly.  

I thought this was going to be a mysterious disappearance with no solution movie, like Picnic at Hanging Rock, but there is a solution: we find out what happened to the kids at the end.  Before that, we see the effects of the tragedy on five people:

Justine

The teacher, Justine (Julia Garner), and the surviving kid, Alex (Cary Christopher), are interrogated, and their houses searched, with no clues.  They did not know that it -- whatever it was -- was going to happen.

A month later, still with no clues, Justine speaks to the parents at a memorial assembly.  She swears that she has no idea what happened, but they don't believe her. "You did something to our kids!" the parents yell.

It doesn't help that she's an alcoholic who picks up booze every day on the way home, she picks up strange men in bars (well, to be fair, I do that, too), and she was fired from her last job for inappropriate behavior with a child.  Principal Marcus (Benedict Wong) decides that it would be best for her to take a leave of absence.

One of her hookups is the Cop Paul (Alden Ehrenreich, top photo), who is trying to get clean and sober and stop cheating on his wife, but she gets him drunk and seduces him (no beefcake).

The principal has forbidden her from contacting the traumatized surviving kid, but she starts staking out his house.  Weird -- the windows are covered with newspaper, and when she snoops inside, she sees his parents sitting on the couch, motionless, like zombies,  Alex yells for her to go away, but she continues the stake out.  She falls asleep in her car, and a lady in scary clown makeup bursts in and cuts off a lock of her hair.

Archer

Construction worker Archer (Josh Brolin) is sleeping in his missing kid's room and mourning their loss (I thought it was a girl due to their long hair, but it turns out to be a boy, Matthew).  His wife insists that he go to work, so he heads to the house he's building.  The construction crew is having problems: no sodding, and the door is painted the wrong color, darn it!  One expects him to start yelling, but he queitly puts the red paint in the back of his truck to exchange later.

Next stop, the police station, where the Chief says they have no more leads, so stop coming in every day.  

He checks the security cam footage of his child leaving, and notices that he's moving in the direction of the radio tower.  Maybe it sent a signal?  He asks the other parents for security cam footage of their kids but doesn't get very far.

Left: Josh butt.

Then he sees Justine at the gas station/liquor store, and decides to ask her some questions.  But while they are talking, Principal Marcus comes rushing up, his arms spread as if he is flying, his eyes all white, and attacks her!  Archer tries to help, but the guy is incoherent, like a zombie.

Paul

Cop Paul happens to be the son-in-law of the Police Chief (Toby Huss) -- and he didn't get the job because of his qualifications.  They discuss how his wife is coming back early from her trip, and then he goes to work.

The long-haired, scrungy James is jaywalking -- better stop him!  He runs, so Cop Paul gives chase.  He finally catches the guy, handcuffs him, and starts searching his pockets -- uh-oh, a needle prick!  He's so outraged that he pummels James -- with the dashcam recording everything. 

When James regains consciousness, Paul lets him go -- but don't come anywhere near the police station, or report the assault, or you're dead!  

Back at the station, Paul asks his Police Chief father-in-law what to do.  He suggests getting checked for HIV, and forgetting about the video.  In 30 days it will vanish, so as long as James doesn't report, he's clear. 

James

Crack addict James (Austin Abrams. the one with the curly hair) calls everyone he can think of to beg for money, but they've all had enough.  He steals some things to pawn, but the pawn broker won't give him enough.  He breaks into Survivor Alex's house, and finds his parents, sitting like zombies.  Thinking "they must be high," he tries the basement, and finds the missing kids, standing still, lifeless, like zombies. 

There's a $50,000 reward for finding them!  He calls the police and asks about the reward, but they want him to come to the police station.

As he approaches, Paul sees him, gives chase, and attacks.  "But I know where the kids are!" he exclaims.

Paul drives him to the house, and leaves him locked in the police car while he goes inside.  Hours later, he returns, his movements shaky, his eyes white, and drags James in with him.

More after the break. Caution: Explicit.

Madden Zook: 5 soul-winning movies and 3,000 girl-hugging photos prove that he's straight, right? Plus some nude ballet dudes

 

Madden Zook, who just appeared as #50 most popular on the Teen Idol website, looks like a model -- a little skinny, but with one of those "ratboy" faces that are all the rage. 

No question that he's straight in real life. 90% of his photos show him hugging, kissing, smooching, and licking girls.  Oh, here's one where she is just sniffing his bicep.

The girl-hugging would usually disqualify a guy from further research, but I was fascinated: the heterosexism was so very, very over the top, absurdly excessive.   Lots of straight guys devote most of their social media to hugging and kissing The Girl of Their Dreams, but every single photo on his Instagram and Facebook?  Dozens of them? What are you trying to prove, buddy? 

Ok, I found one with no girl. She must be taking the photo.    

So, how did Zook become a teen idol? Hugging and kissing girls won't make you famous. He must have done some acting or singing at some point.    

He has five acting credits on the IMDB:

Laps (2018): Swimmer Mitchell (Brayden Benson, center) is being bullied, so he tells the swim coach (Ian Lang).  That's progressive.  When I was a kid, the teachers said "You have to settle your own disputes," and my Dad enrolled me in judo lessons.  Didn't help.

Zook (left) and Cameron Judd (right) play the bullies. 

It was written and directed by Ian Lang, whose Internet biography reads: "And we know that God causes all things to work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to his purpose" -Romans 8:28. 

Maybe Zook is fundamentalist, and hugs and kisses a lot of girls to prove that he's not "that way" in spite of his swishiness? 

Answer after the break

Sacha Carlson: Girl, boy, or nonbinary? Gay, ally, or homophobe? The answer will shock you. WIth Gillespie butt and Sacha cock

When this cute guy appeared on the teen idol website, I clicked on the photo to find out if he's an actor who could rate a profile.  But it turned out to be a collection of photos of his girlfriend (right), Sacha Carlson.

I went through it anyway, hoping to see the cute guy again.   

Wait -- Sacha has a little chest hair here.  Wouldn't a girl try to hide it? And I'm no expert, but shouldn't there be some stuff up front?  Maybe they're transitioning?

A shirtless shot, with muscles and chest hair.  This person has a male-coded physique and a woman's face.  Maybe they're nonbinary?

Nope.  They don't give their pronouns on ther Instagram page, but Wikipedia nd the IMDB say he/him. Sacha is a femme boy. 

A femme boy who is into girls, as the many, many girl-hugging and kissing photos on his Instagram suggest.

And his song lyrics (he's mostly a singer):

I get lost in the thought of her lovin'

Weak in the knees all of the sudden

I want more

But there's one thing you gotta know

I'm gonna drive you like Cadillac.

Hey, that sounds dirty.

No reason why straight guys can't be femme, but doubtless everyone Sacha meets, including casting agents, will assume that he's gay, so he will be offered a lot of gay parts.

Other than music videos, Sacha has five acting credits listed on the IMDB:

Two episodes of American Housewife (2018):  his character not listed in the plot synopsis, but doubtless he's a student at the ballet academy that gay-vague Oliver (Daniel DiMaggio) is hoping to be admitted to.

Julie and the Phantoms (2020), about a teenage girl who forms a band with the ghosts of three teenage musicians who died from eating bad hot dogs in the 1990s: Luke (Charlie Gillespie, left), Reggie (Jeremy Shada), and Alex (Owen Joyner).

Alex is gay, and fully accepted by his bandmates.  He starts a relationship with Willie  (Booboo Stewart), the ghost of a boy who died in a skateboarding accident. 

Sacha plays Nick, a (living) femme boy who Julie is crushing on. 

A 2022 episode of 9-1-1 Lone Star.  Sacha's character doesn't appear in the plot synopsis, but there's a wrestling match and a road-rage incident, so he must be involved in one of those.

Everything I Ever Wanted (2025): It's the Girl of His Dreams.

More after the break.  What comes next will shock you,as the clickbaiters say.