Previous: Gemstones Episode 4.7: Kelvin and Pontius have their nards threatened, Gideon finds his voice, and skaters show their d*cks
Earlier in the episode, we saw Eli and Lori breaking up, Kelvin hiding in his treehouse after the roundtable debacle, Judy jealous of a monkey, and Gideon finding a way to be true to himself. Now it's time for a Baby Billy plotline.
Teenjus Meets the Devil: The TV the studio in Goose Creek, about 30 miles from Charleston, which Baby Billy characterizes as the "middle of nowhere." (And there is a Middle of Nowhere Bar and Grill in town).
Teenjus Meets the Devil: The TV the studio in Goose Creek, about 30 miles from Charleston, which Baby Billy characterizes as the "middle of nowhere." (And there is a Middle of Nowhere Bar and Grill in town).
Complaining about having to "babysit" his own kids, Baby Billy directs a scene where teenage Jesus/Teenjus (Matthew Garbacz) is tempted by the Devil. He doesn't project enough and he can't remember his line, so Baby Billy fires him and decides to play Teenjus himself.
The Devil points out that he's not a teen, but "You ain't the Devil. It's called acting."
Tiffany and the Nanny arrive late. He lambasts them, which upsets Tiffany: "You got time for everything but us." She suggests that he quit the Teenjus project, so he can spend more time with the family. They have enough money. Nope, it's not enough, and he still needs to become famous (again). "I been on this stardom train before, and you got to get it while you can." The writers, directors, and showrunners don't become famous, the actors do...oh, is that why you want to play a teenager at age 70?
"Is that all that matters to you?" Tiffany asks, reflecting Lori asking if money is all Eli cares about earlier in the episode. Baby Billy: "My job is very important to me. Now stop being difficult and take these kids to get some ice cream." She snarls. What will he finally choose, fame or family?
An Eight Ball and $2 Million: The Board Room. Baby Billy yells at Judy and Jesse for cutting his Teenjus budget by 29%, Instead of a cement factory in Goose Creek, he should be in Jordan "filming in some Muslim tombs."
Top photo and left: Jordanian guys.
And by the way, since he's playing Teenjus now, he needs $2 million for reshoots, plus an 8-Ball (3.5 grams) of cocaine. They scoff.
"Where's Kelvin?" he asks. "I can usually talk some sense into him."
They're not speaking to him, after he insulted them earlier.
Now Baby Billy yells at them for squabbling, not being a family. They should reconcile with their brother.
That's Amber, BJ, and Baby Billy telling you to check in on Kelvin. I suggest that you do it.
Family Visitors: Jesse is going through Kelvin's house, looking for him. He checks the foyer, a hallway with baseball-sized gummi bears mounted on the wall, the bedroom, and then back to the foyer. Nitpick: The bedroom is on the ground floor. In Season 2, it was on the second floor.
Judy appears, claiming that she had to poop, and Kelvin's house was the closest.
They discuss how bad they feel about his debacle, how scared he looked -- and holy sh*t, Keefe is the next room, hanging upside down on a harness! "My word, family visitors!" he exclaims.
Some fans have pointed out that he's using a BDSM swing for yoga. This is the room with the massage table -- which can double as a bondage table. So we know what kind of games the guys play.
He brings them to the treehouse where Kelvin is hiding, but it's hopeless: "I've tried for days. There's no way to get up there."
Jesse knows a way. A ladder?
Cut to Kelvin lying on blankets in his tree house, eating Fiddle Faddle and Bugles and playing with his monster movie toys, when Jesse and Judy knock on the door. They flew up in jetpacks!
They ask why he's not going to the Night of Testimonies, the last event in the Top Christ-Following Man Contest: "I'm not a brave, strong leader. I'm a coward."
"So what? You are mean. You are extremely goodback with snitty retorts. You can demolish Vance Simkins."
Suddenly Keefe bursts in, breaking down the door. Well, he's never used a jetpack before.
"We just put that door in," Kelvin complains.
Check out the cool prop photo of Kelvin and Keefe hugging. It will be used as the cover of their wedding announcement. Don't complain about spoilers, we all know that it's going to happen.
More after the break