Gemstones Season 1 Memes: Kelvin bottoms, Gideon falls in love, and Keefe checks for semen loads
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Tyler Hynes: Atreyu and the "Amazon" teen graduates to Christmas romcoms with gay characters. Plus Andrew Lincoln's dick
Tyler Hynes (the one with the red hat) starred in six romcoms in 2024. That's got to be a record.
Shifting Gears. Tyler and a female mechanic are competing in the big car restoration show. Guess what happens.
Holiday Touchdown: A woman tries to win the Kansas City Chiefs' Fan of the Year contest, while falling in love with Tyler,. At Christmas.
The Groomsmen: First Look. "Groomsmen" are the attendants of the groom who stand with him at the wedding. Here they are Tyler Hynes, Jonathan Bennett, and BJ Britt.
At the wedding, BJ Bulge...I mean Britt...meets the Woman of His Dreams, but they are separated for reasons.
The Groomsmen: Second Chances. This time the second groomsman, Jonathan Bennett, is in love with Alexander Lincoln (left), and proposes at another wedding.
The Groomsmen: Second Chances. This time the second groomsman, Jonathan Bennett, is in love with Alexander Lincoln (left), and proposes at another wedding.
Yep, a gay couple.
I originally called his dick a Lincoln log, but no one understood the joke.
Three Wiser Men and a B*y. It looks like Tyler, with the moustache, and Paul Campbell, the one with the limp wrist cuddling with him, are a gay couple, but they're all brothers.
The Groomsmen: Last Dance. The third groomsman, Tyler, falls in love with a struggling cafe owner, a woman this time, in Italy. I assume there's a wedding.
Three Wiser Men and a B*y. It looks like Tyler, with the moustache, and Paul Campbell, the one with the limp wrist cuddling with him, are a gay couple, but they're all brothers.
I don't know if Paul Campbell's character is gay or not. Maybe the limp wrist is just a misdirection.
It's a sequel to Three Wise Men and a Baby (2022), with TYler and Paul helping Andrew Walker (left), when he finds a baby on his doorstep. Now his adopted son is in kindergarten, and they have to help him with the big Christmas pageant. At age 5?.
As far as I can tell, none of them fall in love, but their mother does.
Wait -- who am I profiling, again?
Oh, right -- Tyler Hynes.
Born in 1986, the Canadian actor began performing on stage in A Christmas Carol at age 8 and Tommy at age 10, before hitting the teencom circuit with roles in The Mystery Files of Shelby Woo, Are You Afraid of the Dark, and Lassie.
It's impossible to research a book entitled Amazon nowadays, for obvious reasons, but I think the 1999-2000 tv series was based on a novel. An airplane crashes in the Amazonian jungle with a soap opera-load of survivors, who are taken in by a Lost Tribe of good, kind, benevolent white people and run afoul of a load of violent, demonic, cannibalistic Native Americans (but their leader is white). Tyler plays a survivor who goes native.
Yes, I watched. It was awful, but I'm a sucker for lost civilization stories.
More after the break
"The Stranger": The one with a Kai Alexander butt, an alpaca-biter, Eddy from "Absolutely Fabulous," and two heterosexual horndogs
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Everybody Loves Greg: Vincent Martella grows up, plays Phineas, dates some guys. With some d*cks and Skyler Gisondo
We've been watching Everybody Hates Chris (2005-2009) on Hulu: a nostalgia sitcom featuring the childhood adventures of comedian Chris Rock, who provided the commentary. In the 1980s, young Chris (Tyler James Williams) attended an all-white middle school, where everyone hated him, except his teacher, who pitied him for..stereotype of the week.
He had a bully with an endless supply of racist terms (Travis Flory), a white best friend (Vincent Martella), and at home, Dad with about 35 jobs (Terry Crews), way overbearing Mom (Tichina Arnold), bratty little sister (Imani Hakim), and a little brother (Tequan Richmond), who was bigger, and far more attractive: everybody was in love with him, which was usually fine,but a problem around Valentine's Day, when the truckloads of cards, candy, and wedding proposals arrived.
It was quite homophobic, even for the 2000s. Chris Rock's commentary displayed revulsion and disgust whenever he could: "Hey, this ain't Brokeback!" One episode featured Chris befriending a gay student, but they called him "androgynous."
Nearly 20 years later, the cast varies on their level of homophobia, from Terry Crewes and Tyler James Williams (ugh!).
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To Tequan Richmond and Imani Hakim (allies)
To Vincent Martella, seen here at a Clippers game with Mikey Reid.
After Chris, he became the voice of Phineas in the animated Phineas and Ferb, which is endless: 140 episodes from 2007-2025, plus thousands of movies: Christmas Vacation, Across the Second Dimension, Mission Marvel....
Vincent has done some other animation work, like the video game Final Fantasy XIII, Batman: Death in the Family, and Disney Infinity
Left: Vincent and Mikey have fun during the COVID quarantine.
Vincent's live-action work includes Patrick in three episodes of The Walking Dead: he is a member of a zombie holocaust survivor community in an abandoned prison. Then he get sick, dies, zombifies, and creates a new zombie infestation.
I have a question about this Cupid costume.
More after the break. Caution: Explicit
Frederick Koehler: Chip from "Kate and Ally" grows up, shows his d*ck, plays some psychos, and vanishes. With bonus Beau Mirchoff dick
Viewers who saw this in a 2004 episode of the prison drama Oz were shocked. Not by the nudity -- there were lots of nude guys.
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Not because he was Andrew Schillinger, 20-year old son of the white supremacist prisoner Vern Schillinger.
Not even because he was a heroin addict who would be given a batch by an unscrupulous guard and die of an overdose.
Because we were looking at the dick and butt of a grown-up Chip.
Although he had appeared in Judging Amy, Ally McBeal, Profiler, Gideon's Crossing, Charmed, and A Kiss Before Dying, Fred Koehler was famous for Kate and Allie (1984-89), a sitcom starring two recognizable 1970s tv stars, Jane Curtin and Susan Saint James, a free spirit-stick in the mud couple living together. Fred Koehler played their 10-15 year old son, Chip
No, they weren't lesbians, although they pretended to be in an early example of a "let's pretend to be gay to get some of their incredible privileges" episode.
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To quote Sally in Peanuts, isn't the grown-up Frederick "the cutest thing"? Short, rather husky, with a round, handsome face and a befuddled expression that makes him perfect for roles as oddball outsiders with no heterosexual interests. Instead, they are gay-vague, yearning for love, acceptance, and family.
Like Ben Sharpless, teenage son of the obsessive sheriff Nolan in Birdseye (2002).
Or the mentally handicapped Pemon in Little Chenier (2006).
More after the break
"The Things We Do For Love": Based on the 10cc song
Too many broken hearts have fallen in the river.
Too many lonely souls have drifted out to sea.
You lay your bets and then you pay the price -- the things we do for love.
Communication is the problem, not the answer.
Communication is the problem, not the answer.
You've got his number and your hand is on the phone.
The weather's turned, and all the lines are down -- the things we do for love.
Like walking in the rain and the snow, when there's nowhere to go.
Like walking in the rain and the snow, when there's nowhere to go.
And you're feeling like a part of you is dying.
And you're looking for the answer in his eyes. 
You think you're going to break up, then he says he wants to make up.
A compromise would surely help the situation.
You think you're going to break up, then he says he wants to make up.
A compromise would surely help the situation.
Agree to disagree. but disagree to part.
When after all it's just a compromise of the things we do for love.
More after the break
Peder Lindell: Gay skater from Montana, gay Catholic guy, magician, zombie, and pilot, with possible Peder penis
Ok, this time I checked in advance, so I don't get tricked by another interloper on the red carpet.
The Disney wiki lists Peder Lindell in the cast of The Rise of the Red as Morgie, the teenage son of Morgan Le Fay from the Arthurian mythos.
The character does not appear in earlier "Descendants" movies or tv shows, but he looks like he might be gay.
The character does not appear in earlier "Descendants" movies or tv shows, but he looks like he might be gay.
Peder grew up in Northfield, Minnesota, and began acting at age 11. with a role in a stage version of On Golden Pond at the Minnesota Jungle Theater. He went on to star in Gypsy, and then as Jason, a closeted gay student at a homophobic Catholic school, in Bare: A Pop Opera.
Jordan Luke Gage played Jason in the West End revival. Spoiler alert: the gay dude dies.
Peder is currently a theater arts major at Loyola Marymount University in Los Angeles.
Jordan Luke Gage played Jason in the West End revival. Spoiler alert: the gay dude dies.
Peder is currently a theater arts major at Loyola Marymount University in Los Angeles.
He has his pilot's license and certification as an Advanced Rescue Diver and Emergency First Responder.
And he has a boyfriend and a little dog.
Of his six acting credits on the IMDB, three are shorts:
And he has a boyfriend and a little dog.
Of his six acting credits on the IMDB, three are shorts:
Out of My Hands, about a guy with a gun, aired at the Catalina Film Festival.
Leak seems to be about a guy in a jar.
Scraps depicts a gay romance between skateboarders in Montana in the homophobic early 2000s. It's the "first Montana LGBTQ skate film."
Peder penis after the break
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