Gemstones Season 2 Memes: Kelvin swishes, Joe Canoli bulges, there's no Brad Pitt, and I don't get an Easy Bake Oven

This is a series of memes -- jokes -- featuring Kelvin and Keefe of The Righteous Gemstones, their friends, and a few random hunks.  Most don't require you to have any background knowledge of the show.

1. A few random hunks

2. Could you at least get naked?

Tony: What do you mean, Kelvin and Keefe don't kiss this season?  Can we at least have sex?

3. How to hug while pretending to be straight.

Kelvin: No, your head goes...

Keefe: I think I put my right arm...um..over here...

Kelvin: My hand goes on your butt...no, on your waist...hey, are you aroused?

Keefe: No..a little...ok, a lot.

Kelvin: Move your thigh over there...no, there...your hand goes here...dude, I told you to research how straight guys hug.

4. Ready for another random hunk?

5. Nobody is that good an actor, Kelvin.

Kelvin: Hey, Bro, there sure are a lot of attractive ladies here tonight.  I really enjoy looking at attractive ladies, don't you? Hee-hee, I'm so good at playing a straight guy that Jesse doesn't suspect a thing.

6. Eli should have known that this would happen

Eli: Remember, when the new converts walk on stage, Judy hugs the men, and you hug the women.

Kelvin: No problem, Daddy, I can handle that.  Here comes the first....eww....I can feel her brassiere strap...eww...Judy, stop laughing...eww....eww

Eli: Game change.  Kelvin, you take the men.

Kelvin: Oh, thank God!

More closeted Kelvin after the break

Gemstones Season 1 Memes: Kelvin bottoms, Gideon falls in love, and Keefe checks for semen loads

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"I'm Not in Love": Based on the 10cc song.

 I'm not in love, and don't forget it.  

It's just a silly phase I'm going through.

And just because I call you up

Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made

I'm not in love.

 I'd like to see you, but then again

That doesn't mean you mean that much to me

More after the break

Tony's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 1: Boner pills, Death Water, dildos, and "Why the hell not?"

 

This is a collection of hot or humorous photos of Tony Cavalero, best known as Dewey on The School of Rock,  Ozzie Ozbourne in Dirt, and Keefe on The Righteous Gemstones, with a few of his friends.

1. You post these beefcake photos, and expect me to settle down?  Dude, that's impossible.

2. "I'll be home late.  They want to re-shoot the scene with my cock out, so half the crew will be asking for a selfie."

3. "Why do I have to be in makeup for this scene?"

3. Tony plays a hijacker on an episode of the spy spoof Archer. Kayvan Novak plays Fabian Kingsworth, the head of a rival agency.

5. "I thought dildos were supposed to be bigger than your dick."

6. You definitely want this photo of Tony in an "American born and bred" t-shirt, his belly and underwear showing, drinking Liquid Death water under the Hollywood sign.  Don't pretend that you don't.

More Tony after the break. Warning: Explicit

"The Things We Do For Love": Based on the 10cc song

 

Too many broken hearts have fallen in the river. 

Too many lonely souls have drifted out to sea. 

You lay your bets and then you pay the price -- the things we do for love.

Communication is the problem, not the answer. 

You've got his number and your hand is on the phone. 

The weather's turned, and all the lines are down -- the things we do for love.

Like walking in the rain and the snow, when there's nowhere to go.

And you're feeling like a part of you is dying.  

And you're looking for the answer in his eyes. 

You think you're going to break up, then he says he wants to make up.

A compromise would surely help the situation.

Agree to disagree. but disagree to part.  

When after all it's just a compromise of the things we do for love.

More after the break

The Nude Dude Review

 

Kelvin and Keefe at a gay resort sometime after Season 3, watching the Nude Dude Review.

Tropic Thunder

Nine inches and counting

Big Daddy

First time on stage

More nude dudes after the break

"Double Vision": Based on the Foreigner song, with nude pics of Gideon and Keefe

Gideon has had a crush on Keefe for two years.  During the Kelvin/Keefe breakup, he sees his chance to move out of the friend zone. He hopes.

Feelin' down and dirty

Feelin kinda mean

I've been from one to the other extreme

Fill my eyes with that double vision.

No disguise for that double vision.

When  it gets through to me, it's always new to me

My double vision gets the best of me

Today I had a good time,

But I ain't got time to wait

I want to stick around till I can't see straight

More after the break