Daryl Sabara: Juni grows up, fights cannibals, bikers, and Satanists, and shows his dick, but I'm still depressed

Spy K*ds (2001) stars gay actor Antonio Banderas (left) and Carla Gugino as a husband and wife spy team.  Well, actually, their son and daughter, Juni and Carmen (Daryl Sabara, Alexa Vega), who get swept up in an age-appropriate diabolical plot involving tv host Fegan Floop (Alan Cummings, who is bisexual in real life).   

Although everyone is ostensibly heterosexual, some reviews call the film a queer classic due to the extremely hot Dad -- and Mom, apparently, which led to the "queer awakening" of an entire generation of lesbians; the shy, bullied, gay-coded Juni; the kick-ass Carmen; and the gay-coded villain who turns out to be not all that villainous.

The Banderas dick is just to draw your attention.  This profile features the shy, bullied, gay-coded Daryl Sabara.

There were 3 sequels:

The Island of Lost Dreams (2002) strands Juni and Carmen on a Jules Verne/Dr. Moreau "mysterious island," where they run afoul of a mad scientist creating animal hybrids.  Carmen gets a boyfriend, but Juni remains gay-coded.

I didn't see Game Over (2003) where Juni must venture into a video game to save his sister, but the queer coding ends with him meeting The Girl.  He also meets two guys, video game teammates Ryan Pinkston and Bobby Edner.

Well, it was nice while it lasted.

The 2011 All the Time in the World minimized Juni and Carmen in favor of a new sibling team.  The brother is played by Mason Cook, who would go on to Speechless.

During the Spy franchise, Daryl Sabara appeared in the usual one-shot tv spots: Will and Grace, Fatherhood, House, American Dragon: Jake Long, and so on.

He has a starring role in the animated lion-drama Father of the Pride (2004-05) as Hunter, a shy, anxiety-ridden Lord of the Rings nerd. That is, basically Juni as a lion.  In one episode, his grandfather Sarmoti thinks that he is gay, or as the fan wiki says, "homosexual; but this is absolutely not true."  Rather homophobic, aren't you, fan wiki?

Then things start to go downhill.  In a 2006 episode of Criminal Minds,  Daryl plays a teenager who charges men to watch him do bondage videos.  So he has an OnlyFans site?  The agents convince him that what he is doing constitutes prostitution, and will put him in danger from internet predators.  It is all presented as extremely sleazy, and one can't help but conclude that being gay is always seedy and sordid.  

Normal Adolescent Behavior (2007) is an anti-hookup cautionary tale,with no gay content: three girls and three guys in a friendship group pair off randomly.  Daryl appears as Nathan, who crushes on the mother of one of the girls. Ugh.

Raviv Ullman, formerly Phil of the Future, plays one of the guys in the friendship group.

Next Daryl played Tim Scottson in 7 episodes of Weeds (2005-12), about suburban marijuana growers. He shot his stepmother Nancy Botwin because he assumed that she was responsible for his father's death, but she recovered and hired him as her assistant.

Worst. Prom. Ever. (2011) has Daryl planning the perfect prom for his girlfriend, but when her two friends tag along, things go crazy, with a car crash, armed thugs, Satanists, and an amorous lady biker.

In The Green Inferno (2013), some student activists go to the Peruvian jungle for ecological stuff, and are captured by a cannibal tribe.  

A cannibal tribe?  I thought the "spear-throwing savages" trope went out with Johnny Quest. But at least the guy dragging Daryl toward the cooking pot has nice abs and a basket.

Daryl gets a girlfriend and displays his dick before being eaten.

More Daryl dick after the break

In Teen Lust (2014), Matt (Daryl), a virgin, draws the attention of a Satanic cult.  He escapes, but they're in hot pursuit because male virgins are so hard to find.  

He and his buddy Neil (Jesse Carere)  approach his crush for sex, but she refuses.  Next they try prostitutes, but the Satanists storm in and grab them before Matt  has a chance to put his dick in anyone.  Finally Neil offers the use of his butt to de-virginize him, as a last resort, but the Satanists grab them again.  

Gay sex as the ultimate sacrifice!  Points to Neil for offering, but it still sounds homophobic. 

In The Naked Man (2021), invisible man Daryl falls in love with a blind girl.  Sounds rather heterosexist.

Otherwise Daryl does mostly voice work: 

The teenage superhero/god Generator Rex (2010-2013).  He gets shipped with teenager superhero Ben 10, but they're both presented as heterosexual on their respective tv shows.

Rhino, a high school student turned rhinocerous-hybrid in The Ultimate Spider Man (2012-17)

Heatblast, a plasma-based humanoid who fights Ben 10

Plus a lot of music videos starring his wife, Meghan Trainor.  And he co-produced a short called Girl Woman.

Sounds way heterosexist

I am not impressed.  Sounds like his post-Juni work has been right on the edge of homophobia. 

So here's his dick, from a j/o video.  

One more.  He got a litlte bigger, or maybe he's grasping the base.

Daryl's social media is full of exclamations about how much he loves his wife and son and daughter, and pictures of them kissing.

He kisses his son and daughter right on the mouth. Disgusting

Only one or two beefcake shots, and only a few pictures of men. 

Don't get excited: that's Daryl's cousin, getting married to a woman.

Dick or not, this was depressing.  F*ck the Sadness.

See also: Pain and Glory:An aging director recalls his first crush.  With Antonio Banderas.

Mason Cook: The "Speechless" star turns bohemian-hipter and shows his biceps and dick

Ryan Pinkston: Hottest of the Short Guy Brigade, martial artist, gigolo, gay cop

Phil of the Future's future: Former Disney star Raviv Ullman on the Torah, wearing dresses, and his penis