Gemstones Season 2 Finale: The Godfather, Butch and Sundance, random nude dudes, and "My love for you wil never die"

 


The series finales on The Righteous Gemstones are meant to tie up any remaining loose ends and say goodbye to the characters, so we should expect little or no plot development, just a lot of hugging: everyone who has had lost, frayed, or troubled relationships during the season, lovers, friends, parents and children, siblings, will be reconciled.

Hold on tight to the one you love the most:  A blackened stage. Suddenly a spotlight on Jesse.  He begins the country-western song "Some Broken Hearts Never Mend," by Don Williams.  Then Kelvin, lying on a platform, raising a finger to Heaven.  Then Judy and the choir, as she walks up stage.  Then all three siblings together. 

 Coffee black, cigarettes. Start the day like all the rest. 

First thing every moning that I do, is start missing you.

Some broken hearts never mend.  Some memories never end.  

Some tears will never dry.  My love for you will never die. 

Except this song is not about lost love, it's about mended hearts.  You're supposed to look at or point to a loved one. Kelvin starts out by pointing at audience stage left, obviously at Keefe, who points to himself and then back. My love for you will never die,

BJ waves, presumably at Judy.  Cut to Amber and the kids; then Baby Billy, Tiffany, and the baby; he looks back at Harmon, his no-longer estranged son; and finally Eli looks out at the audience. 


In the middle of love's embrace
: Flashback to the Alaska Commercial Company, a grocery store chain with 33 locations in Alaska, mostly in rural areas. The Lissons, in hiding after their murders and attempts, are buying -- coffee to go?  Martin has them under surveillance

Left: random nude dude

Back in church, Eli looks at the band as the siblings sing the second verse together.  Then Jesse and Kelvin, looking up to heaven.

 Rendezvous in the night.

In the middle of love's embrace, I see your face

Wait -- they see God while their partners Amber and Keefe are going downtown?  Makes sense.


Cut to the Lissons in their cabin, watching Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, where the gay-subtext bank robbers, played by Robert Redford, top photo, and Paul Newman, left, are trapped, with no escape, so they go out shooting. 

 Some broken hearts never mend.  Some memories never end.

Some tears will never dry.  My love for you will never die.




The Cycle Ninjas
:  Cycle Ninjas on glittering metallic snowmobiles zoom through the woods.  

Lyle looks out the window and yells "Get the guns!"

Back at the church, the siblings point at each other. Eli smiles. 

The First Chorus: The congregation rises to sing the chorus.

We see Chad and his wife, who have been having marital problems since Season 1; Martin and his often seen, never-named wife; Judy and BJ;  Junior and Tan Man, Baby Billy and Tiffany, Amber and the kids.  Then the siblings again.  Wait, I thought the Tan Man was just Junior's assistant.  Is there a gay relationship going on back in Memphis? 

In the flashback, the Lissons get out their guns and tell each other that God believes in them: "God will see us through, for we are the Chosen."  Where on Earth did Lyle get that idea?  

More broken hearts after the break

Kayden Koshelev: Alkaio's Other Half plays a zombie, a drag boy, and a nonbinary firefighter. With Dornan and twink d*cks

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Taylor Gregory: The fierce, fabulous Barbie kid grows up to ballet, bodybuilding, and kissing boys. With bonus Czerwonko going downtown


 When I was doing a profile of Iain Armitage, who played Young Sheldon, the preteen and teenage version of the Big Bang Theory's neurotic physicist , I thought Wyatt McClure should come next.  He played next door neighbor Billy, who started with a gay-subtext interest in Iain before the writers decided to give him a crush on his sister Missy instead.

Wyatt McClure turned out to be unsuitable; no beefcake, and straight.  But he did draw my attention to his best friend, Taylor Gregory: 17 years old as of this writing, and extremely muscular.


Taylor has done some acting, but he is primarily a dancer, interested in a career in ballet. Here he plays the Prince in Nutcracker at Christmastime 2023.  I don't know why whoever is curating his Instagram photos cropped his head off.






Auditioning for the Houston Ballet Academy's intensive summer session in 2025.  Did they require you to dance shirtless on your audition video, or did you think your physique would give you an edge?




Gay in real life:

Taylor: "We weren't celebrating Valentine's Day, but we were."  His date, a guy named Carson, is fondling his leg under the table. We don't see Wyatt's date; maybe they're taking the photo.


Taylor tries to kiss Wyatt, who isn't into it.  

Any questions?


Any gay roles:

In 2015, when he was six years old, Biloxi, Mississippi native starred in a commercial for Mochino's high-end Barbie doll collection.  He was  the first boy ever to be shown playing with Barbies on tv.  With his femme hair and his "fierce and fabulous" snap, he became a media sensation and "a voice of the LGBTQ community."  

In one of the news stories I watched, Taylor's Mom seemed uncomfortable with the idea of her son being a gay icon.  It was just an acting role; in real life, he plays with Matchbook cars (translation: "My son is straight")

Gay boys are allowed to play with cars, Mom, just as straight boys are allowed to play with dolls.  You can't tell from the toys they like. 

But she did allow him to perform at the  Gulf Coast Equality Fest, an annual LGBTQ+ event "aimed at inspiring, educating, honoring, and celebrating our community and our allies."  

More after the break.  Caution: Explicit.

Ten nude and nearly-nude photos of Bernard the "Santa Clause" Elf, David Krumholtz, with bonus Rob Morrow and Jason Biggs.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Kelvin and Keefe Under the Christmas Tree: A Kelvin/Keefe Romance



This story takes place after Righteous Gemstoens Season 1.

It was Christmas Day in South Carolina, 85 degrees, so Kelvin and Keefe were sweating in their Santa hats and scarves as they knocked on the door of Daddy Eli's mansion. Kelvin was his youngest son, the youth director at his sprawling megachurch and worldwide television ministry.  Keefe was Kelvin's best friend, an ex-Satanist whom he brought to God two years ago.  And incredibly cute, Kelvin thought.  He could hardly take his eyes off him.  It's a wonder some girl hasn't snatched him away!

 Keefe could barely see over the pile of presents in his arms: they had a big family. Daddy Eli,  his children, Jesse and Judy, who helped in his ministry (along with Kelvin); Jesse's wife and three kids; and Judy's husband.  Even with the couples getting presents together, that's still an armload.

Jesse's wife Amber, answered the door.  "My favorite brother-in law!" she exclaimed, hugging Kelvin.  "And my other favorite brother in law,"  kissing...Keefe's cheek?

"Hey!" Judy's husband BJ yelled from the parlor.

Other favorite brother in law?  "We're not...um...we're not..." Kelvin stammered, but Keefe and Amber were already heading toward the Christmas tree to deposit the presents.  

He checked the seating arrangements: two places on one of the sofas, but they would have to sit very close together.  Gulp!  Maybe someone would get up to go to the bathroom, and he could take their place.  He stopped at the pastry cart in the alcove.  He usually didn't eat sugar, but this was an emergency!

"No time for feeding your face, Brother," Jesse called.  "These presents won't unwrap themselves."

Keefe was already sitting on the white sofa, resting his arm across the back...across Kelvin's spot.  There was no choice!  He trudged across the room, slowly, like a condemned man on the way to the gallows, and squeezed in between Keefe and his nephew Gideon. He relaxed a bit, feeling the familiar hardness of Keefe's chest, his arm against his head, their legs pressed together -- no choice.  

Then Keefe used the "yawn and stretch" maneuver that you saw in movies to wrap his arm around his shoulders. "He's just trying to get comfortable -- it's a tight squeeze," Kelvin thought.  "Just bros being bros."




Time for presents.  Abraham, Jesse and Amber's youngest, was in charge of passing out.  He handed Kelvin a package marked "To Kelvin and Keefe, from Judy and BJ."  Wait -- the rule was, one gift per couple, but he and Keefe weren't a couple.  They should get separate gifts.  Cheapskates!

It was a toaster!  "Your husband can't make you breakfast in bed without a toaster," Judy said with a giggle.

Grr -- they had $26 million in trust, a monthy deposit of $20,000 into the joint checking account, three cars, and a house on the estate.  They could afford their own toaster!  Wait -- your husband?  "We're not...um...", he stuttered, but Keefe said "Thank you, Judy and BJ," and they moved on.

More presents "to both of you": matching Christmas sweaters, a framed photo of two 1950s bodybuilders (from Abraham: "he thought they looked like y'all," Amber explained).  

Keefe didn't have any money of his own, so they had no choice but to give presents together.  Did that give everyone the wrong idea?

It got even worse: his nephew Pontius gave them a Ken doll and a GI Joe on a little stand, shirtless, hugging, with their mouths pasted together so it looked like they were kissing.  "I've never seen you do it, so I figured you didn't know how," he said. 

 "We don't....we're not,..." Kelvin stuttered, but Keefe said "Thank you, Pontius.  It's beautiful.  We'll put it on display in the bedroom."  The bedroom?  They had separate bedrooms; Keefe didn't sleep in the master bedroom more than once or twice a week.  Ok, four or five times a week.  Well, he slept in the guest suite that one time.

Now it was Daddy Eli's turn.  He gave everyone trips: Hawaii for Jesse and Amber and their kids, Disney World for Judy and BJ, and for Kelvin and Keefe, a "romantic" week-long stay at a resort hotel in Myrtle Beach.  

"You boys never had a honeymoon, and I hear it's the gay capital of the South."

  


Keefe said "Thank you, Mr. Gemstone, sir," and they prepared to move on, but Kelvin couldn't take any more.  "We're not married, we're not newlyweds, we're not going on any honeymoon to any gay capital!" he yelled.  "We're best friends! That's it."

The family stared.  Keefe stared.  "Kelvin...." he began,  After a long pause, Jesse spoke: "Sorry, Dude, but what were we to think?  You haven't mentioned a girl since high school, and then Keefe moves in"

More after the break. Caution: Explicit.

"Ghosts," Episode 3.10: A gay wedding, a gay performer, a vengeful Puritan, a naked Viking, and a lot of plot complications

 


In the British version of Ghosts (2019-23), the gay ghost is closeted, with a "disgraceful secret" that he never reveals to his housemates.  I heard that the American version (2021-25) was better at gay representation, so I watched Episode 3.10, "Isaac's Wedding"








The Premise
: Sam (a woman) and Jay (Utkarsh Ambudkar) inherit a house filled with the ghosts of people who have died there or nearby, and for some reason can't move on to the afterlife.  Since she was dead for a few minutes after an accident, Sam can see and hear them, but Jay can't.

Nigel (John Hartman, right), a British soldier who died during the Revolutionary War, has been in a relationship with Isaac (Brandon Scott Jones, left), the Continental soldier who he killed (by accident)).  They are going to get married today, but Isaac is worried about his ongoing fantasy about Chris, the adult performer hired for his bachelor party (the humans told him that he was performing for an empty room).  

Isaac asks Sassapis (Roman Zaragosa), a Native American who died in the 16th century, about his attraction to the stripper.  Sassapis reassures him that it's just cold feet.


The DJ hired to play at the wedding arrives -- and to everyone's surprise, it's Chris (Deniz Akdeniz)!  He's gay, he hates the show Hamilton, and he has no sense of smell -- all points in his favor.  When he eats crab and has an allergic reaction, Isaac secretly wishes that he will die, so they can date -- but he survives.










Meanwhile Peter (Richie Moriarty), a 1980s scout leader who accidentally shot an arrow through his neck, has discovered that he can leave the house by poltergeisting family members, so he follows his descendants to a Caribbean vacation, and meets a female ghost from his time period.  They have a passionate affair, but then he starts to evaporate.  

Back at the house, the wedding begins, with Sassapis officiating.  As Nigel and Issac exchange vows, Peter returns from the Caribbean, finds that he is whole again, and interrupts with his shout of jubiliation.  He tells the story of his trip and the intensity of his love, and Isaac realizes that there's something missing in his relationship with Nigel.  He backs out at the last minute.  

Not noticing, lounge singer Alberta, who was poisoned during the Prohibition Era, starts singing "At Last" anyway.  Nigel runs off crying.

Later, Isaac's housemates agree with his decision.  He's 300 years old, and he's been out for only a few years, so he shouldn't rush into a relationship right away.  He needs time to grow.

More after the break

Alkaio Thiele: A Waverly Place wizard, a gay boy, Spiderman, and the Devil. With some Greek dicks and photos that tell you if he is....


The Disney Channel teencom Wizards of Waverly Place (2007-12) about a family of wizards, gave us a bear dad (David DeLuise), hunky sons Justin (David Henrie, left) and Max (Jake T. Austin), some hunky friends (Dan Benson, Gregg Sulkin), a bisexual daughter, and a huge number of gay subtexts (in spite of the heteronormative erasure in the scripts) .  


The sequel, Wizards Beyond Waverly Place (2024-26), features eldest son Justin as a middle school vice principal, charged by the Wizard Council with protecting the Chosen One, while raising his newly-wizardized sons, Roman  (Alkaio Thiele, right) and Milo (Max Matenko).

Alkaio Thiele, 15 as of this writing, plays son Roman with the standard teencom hetero-horniness, but checking his Instagram and Facebook pages, I see hints of gay potential.

1. An interest in muscular physiques.  He posts lots of photos of muscular co-stars, and at least three where he is wearing a muscle suit.





2. A drag piece where he  is playing himself and his mother at the same time.

Wait -- that's his actual mother.  I checked her Instagram and Facebook pages: masculine presentation, she/her pronouns, married to a man, two children.  Previously a nurse, now Alkaio's manager.  Kudos on your gender fluidity, Mom!  

What are they up to?  It looks like she is removing a hair net from his head.







3. This photo. No comment.













Alkaio grew up (rather, is growing up) in Castro Valley, near Hayward in the East Bay, 27 miles from the gay neighborhood of Castro Street in San Francisco.  

He is of Greek ancestry.  Alkaios, "Strength," was the son of Perseus and Andromeda, an ancestor of Hercules.

Left: a random Greek guy.







 Alkaio began his career in musical theater, playing:

The Artful Dodger in Oliver!

Peter in Peter Pan and Wendy

Sam, a preteen with a girlfriend, in Love Actually Live.

Applegate, the Devil in disguise, in Damn Yankees.

Harold Hill in The Music Man

Two gay-subtext roles.  Not bad.

More after the break

Gemstones Episode 2.9: Who killed Thaniel? Were Eli and Junior lovers? Will Kelvin ever come out? Can we see some naked twinks?



It's the last episode, time for answers to the big questions of the season:  Who killed Thaniel?  Who is trying to kill Eli?  Will Keefe ever be admitted to that family dinner? 

Title: "I Will Tell of All Your Deeds."  Psalms 9.1, NIV: "I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds."  Hopefully we'll hear about some of the Lord's deeds.

The Thaniel Answer:  A flashback: Thaniel Block (Jason Schwartzman), the snoopy reporter who was murdered in Episode 2.2, is yelling at Lyle Lissons, the megachurch pastor who wants Jesse to invest in his Christian resort!  How do those two know each other?

Ulp, Thaniel is forcing Lyle to dig up dirt on the Gemstones, but all he has provided so far is satellite church pastor Butterfield having a  three-way in the dance club restroom (See Episode 2.1)

Not good enough.  Thaniel wants Eli Gemstone, the most famous televangelist and megachurch pastor in the world.   Bringing down the Gemstones will win him a Pulitzer! 

But Lyle needs their money for his resort.  How about if he frames some of his own satellite church pastors for embezzlement? 

No, Eli Gemstone, "Or I'll do a story on your strange relationship with some of the boys at your orphanage."  Uh-oh, Lyle is a pe dophile!  

Lyle goes out to his car, where the ministers he offered to betray are waiting. One is played by Chad Mountain, linked below. 

They brought hand grenades to kill Thaniel with.  But one of the idiots pulls the pin, and is exploded!   Thaniel investigates the noise and shoots another, then runs back into his house, where he accidentally shoots himself!

Lyle and the two surviving ministers hide when a car approaches. It's the Gemstone siblings, coming to tell Thaniel to back off. So this is all happening during Episode 2.2.   They see Thaniel's corpse and the other dead guys and run away.  To avoid discovery, Lyle tells his ministers to burn down the house.  Then, worried that the siblings may have seen them, he burns them to death, too.  

 So now we know who killed Thaniel and the other men, and I'm guessing that Lyle sent the Cycle Ninjas, too.  We just need the answer to the Keefe question.


Toxic father, toxic son: Lyle and Lindsey Lissons are visiting his elderly Dad Roddy (John Amos), who is not happy to see him: "You took everything I cared about, locked me up in this....prison."  "You mean an expensive care facility?"  Whoa, Lindsey actually slaps him and threatens him. Murder and elder abuse!  

They have come to give Roddy a permanent room at the Christian resort they are building  -- with some of the money the've stolen from him.  But since he's acting so snippy, they rescind the offer

Toxic father-son relationships this season: Roy Gemstone-Eli, Glendon Marsh-Junior, Lyle Lissons-Roddy, Baby Billy Freeman-Harmon, Eli-Kelvin, Jesse-Pontius. 

Personal note: John Amos and I used to go to the same gym in West Hollywood. We never became friends, but we had a sort of nodding acquaintanceship.  I did manage to see him in the shower.



The hand-holding fist bump: 
 In a reprise of the first Sunday dinner in Episode 2.1, identical SUVs pull up, and the family walks in slow motion toward Jason's Steakhouse, reveling in their heteronormative nuclear family success:  first Eli, then Jesse/Amber and their kids; then BJ/Judy and their "daughter" Tiffany; and finally -- Kelvin and Keefe?  

Kelvin holds out his fist, a call-back to their “bro” fist-bump in their first scene together, but insted, Keefe cups his hand over his, then moves away.  They're walking side by side, so they couldn't fist-bump anyway; Kelvin wants to hold hands, imitating what Jesse and Amber are doing, but Keefe doesn't follow through. 

Kelvin looks defiant, daring someone to comment; Keefe looks decidedly nervous. The romantic has superseded the friendly.  No more hiding, no more dissimulation: they are “out” as romantic partners.   

The song playing in the background is Daniel Boone’s “Beautiful Sunday”: “ When you said you loved me, oh my, it’s a beautiful day.”

The hand-holding fist-bump received a huge amount of attention from fans, with statements like "True love!" and "I wish I had a love like that."  Tony Cavalero posted it on his Instagram with the caption "Hold on tight to the one you love the most for the Season finale." 

Personal note:  This is the first scene of The Righteous Gemstones that I watched.  My partner was a fan, but I was worried that it would bring up painful memories of growing up Nazarene.  That night I was crossing the living room on the way to the kitchen for a snack, and I glanced at the tv set: a gay couple walking toward Jason's Steakhouse with the rest of the conservative evangelical family!  They were completely nonchalant about it: no angst, no hiding, no homophobia!  I was instantly hooked.  

Upon arriving at the restaurant, Kelvin holds the door open for Keefe, and as he enters, slaps him on the butt, a “goose” that is commonly used to express a casual, playful sexual intent.  In the first dinner scene, Kelvin’s homoerotic desire barred Keefe from entry.  Now it pushes him in, and symbolically into the family.


Kevin Comes Out: 
At the dinner, Kelvin can’t stop grinning.  His joy is infectious, a welcome relief after his near-constant physical pain and emotional turmoil through the season, but perhaps unnecessary: everyone has been so thoroughly prepared that they could hardly have a reaction other than complete nonchalance. 

Eli announces the groundbreaking party for Zion's Landing: “I think we should all attend this important event as a family.”  Kelvin turns to Keefe, but not to ask him to come, since no separate invitation is necessary: all family members are invited.  He is asking if it’s ok, giving Keefe the power to veto the idea (he might not want to spend several days with people who pretended that he didn’t exist before last week).  Keefe nods his consent: they can go.  He is no longer a kept boy, an assistant, or a good buddy: they are equal partners, both invited to the table.


The Kiddo Ranch:  
At the Lissons'  Kiddo Ranch, the orphanage Thaniel mentioned,  Lyle walks through roomsful of little kids, tousing boys' hair.  Uh-oh, does he have a "special relationship" with them?

His manager, Minister Mike,  tells him that "They're back.  Some of them are pretty banged up."  

Whoa, teenage or young adult motorcyclists doing crazy stunts.  Big reveal: Lyle sent the Cycle Ninjas to kill Eli!  So the "strange relationship" was a misdirection.  He isn't a pedophile, he's training professional assassins.

  "Some of them can be pretty nasty," Minister Mike adds.  "That's what happens when nobody loves you." 

The Cycle Ninjas want the $100,000 Lyle promised them to kill Eli, but he notes that they failed, so they get nothing.  They draw guns on him, and he changes his mind, but they have to wait until after this weekend.  He has some money coming in at the Ground-breaking Party.  


A bonus cyclist dick.

Whew, the big questions have been answered. But we still need some reconciliations to finish the season (after the break).

Josh Zuckerman: The teenage Faust saves Christmas twice, plays nebbishes and sinister ghosts. With his butt and Nick's dick

 

In the Disney Channel's Twas the Night (2001), irresponsible Nick Wrigley (Bryan Cranston of Malcolm in the Middle), fleeing from gansters, takes refuge at his brother's house.  While delivering presents, Santa gets clocked on the head, and the gangsters steal the time-dilation device that allows him to visit 1.3 billion households in a single night.

So Nick and his mischievous 14-year old nephew Danny (Josh Zuckerman) must deliver all of the presents and subdue the gangsters.

It differs from the standard "saving Christmas" plot in the real peril, and in Nick and Danny, who move from stereotyped uncle and nephew to classic 1930s Adventure Boy and adult companion. 

It was enough to pay attention to this guy, born in 1985 in Stanford, California, and guesting on every conceivable tv series: Get Real,  Once and Again, The West Wing, Judging Amy, and so on,  Surely he had more gay-subtexts or maybe even gay roles in his future.



Nope.  Next he starred in  I was a Teenage Faust (2002), about a 15-year old boy (Josh) who sells his soul to the devil in order to win The Girl of His Dreams.  Heterosexist tripe.









I didn't have the stomach to see Josh in anything else for a few years, but evidently he starred with Ben Affleck in Surviving Christmas (2004): a rich dude pays a family to pretend to be his at Christmastime, and develops real feelings for them, of course.

And Balthazar Getty in Feast (2005): Bar patrons fight monsters.

 But the heterosexism continued, as Josh found his niche as a nebbish who can't get girls, but sometimes can.





He had a recurring role on Kyle XY (2008-09) ,  starring Matt Dallas as a teenage boy  who appears out of nowhere with no memory and no belly button. I think he's a clone or alien or something.  Josh plays a nebbish with a crush on his adopted sister.  Eventually he wins her.

The Desperate Housewives (2004-13) were desperate due to their 15-year history of lies, scandals, murder, and semi-nude scenes.  Josh plays Eddie, a barista and aspiring comedian who kills the girls who reject him -- and they all do.  They're usually mean about it, laughing at the ridiculousness of the nebbish thinking he was worthy of human contact, but still, it seems a bit much. 





The s*x comedy S*x Drive (2008) is all shot through with homophobia and gay stereotypes. It's got Seth Green in it, so you know there's going to be trouble.  Ian (Josh) goes on a road trip to Chattanooga to win the Girl of His Dreams, Ms. Tasty (her stage name). He borrows the car from his "fag" and "homo"-spouting brother Rex (James Marsden): 

When Ian reaches Chattanooga, Rex appears and refuses to let him get with the girl.  So he pretends to be gay, and Rex changes his mind: getting with a girl could cure him!  In the end  Ian marries The Girl, and Rex is revealed to be gay (but he doesn't get a boyfriend). 




But at least we see Josh nude.

More after the break.  Caution: Explicit.

"Meet Me in St. Louis": the movie that spawned the "Have Yourself" monstrosity. With A LOT of cocks to get you through it, plus Adam Devine and Will Robinson

 



December is the cruelest month, overwhelming the senses with bright lights and crowds, asserting that if you don't feel ecstatic every second of every day, there is something wrong with you, while pushing melancholy nostalgia and horribly depressing songs.  And the most depressing of all is the "Have yourself" monstrosity.  One line is guaranteed to push my general Christmas depression into dark despair. Fortunately, singers extend every syllable indefinitely, so I'm usually able to run out of the store or shut off the tv during "Haaaaaaaaaaaaave youuuuuuuurself..."

I thought that I could expiate the demonic power of the monstrosity by researching where it began, with a viewing of Meet Me in St. Louis (1944) when I was nine or ten years old (in the 1970s!).



Opening: It's the summer of 1903, which many adults in the 1940s recalled through the nostalgic haze of childhood.  

It is the era of empires: after the Spanish American War, the U.S. occupied the Philippines, Guam, Hawaii, and Puerto Rico, a colonial empire rivaling those of Britain and France.  

It is the era of the robber barons like Rockefeller and Vanderbilt, who amassed huge fortunes and transported Italian villas brick-by-brick to the new world. 

The Wizard of Oz, Peter Pan, The Bobbsey Twins, Kim, and The Call of the Wild are on every kid's bookshelf.

Everyone in St. Louis, the 4th largest city in the U.S., is all agog over the upcoming World's Fair, also known as the Louisiana Purchase Exposition.  Although a paeon to American Exceptionalism, it will have exhibits from 65 countries. They'll be able to see X-ray machines and wireless telephones, gawk at "primitive tribes," and eat hot dogs, hamburgers, and cotton candy for the first time. time. And hear the song "Meet Me in St. Louis," about a man whose wife leaves him to go to the fair.

Trigger #1: Nazarenes were taught that fairs were Satanic, so this represented evil.  Also, I recalled a song about a boy who is coming home late from the fair, no doubt the victim of foul play:

Oh, dear, what could the matter be -- Johnny's too late from the fair.

At 5135 Kensington Avenue, a trolley-ride away from downtown, fancy businessman Alonzo Smith (Leon Ames) and his family are eagerly anticipating the fair, and watching as the daughters fall in love. 


Esther (Judy Garland) is in love with the Boy Next Door, John Truitt (Tom Drake), who isn't interested.  She sings:

How can I ignore the boy next door?
I love him more than I can say
Doesn't try to please me, doesn't even tease me
And he never sees me glance his way

You forgot the last line: "Maybe he's gay."

 Trigger #2: I hated Judy Garland after seeing her in the horrifying Wizard of Oz (the Witch counts down the minutes to her death!).  Later, I heard that to ever listen to Judy Garland songs meant that you were gay, which was horrifying (I was extremely homophobic during my closeted high school years).

Tom Drake (top photo and right) was "a deeply closeted gay guy, given to despair." terrified that someone would find out.


 Rose (Lucille Bremmer) is in love with Warren Sheffield (Robert Sully), but he's dating another girl (June Lockhart, who would become the Mom on Lost in Space).  

Left: Presumably this is a different Robert Sully.  I posted Billy Mummy as Will Robinson on Nysocboy's Beefcake and Bonding.














Little Sister Tootie (Margaret O'Brien) is apparently in love with the Ice Man, with whom she discusses whether St. Louis is the greatest city in the world.  But there's really no discussion; of course it is. And they didn't even have that Arch yet.

Left: Random guy with cock.

Margaret O'Brien,  only 8 years old when she was roped into Meet Me, had a career that lasted through the 2000s.  Her last movie role to date is in This is Our Christmas (2018), where a family tries to save their beloved bakery from an evil developer (Margaret) and her son (Vincent de Paul).







There's also another daughter, a son, Lon Junior (Henry H. Daniels, Jr.), a grandpa, and a sarcastic maid (lesbian actress Marjorie Mains)

The Farewell Party: Lon Jr. is leaving for Princeton, so they throw him a party.  The Boy Next Door is invited!   Esther asks him out, but she waits for him at the trolley all afternoon, and he doesn't show up.  

Hoping to find a new beau, she sings "The Trolley Song":

I went to lose a jolly hour on the trolley
And lost my heart instead
With his light brown derby and his bright green tie
He was quite the handsomest of men
I started to yen so I counted to ten
Then I counted to ten again

Halloween: At a bonfire, Tootie claims that The Boy Next Door hit her, so Esther goes to his house and punches and bites him..  Actually, he was trying to protect her from the police. Esther apologizes, and they kiss and start dating. 

Brace yourself: depressing lyrics after the break.  And a lot more cocks.