A flurry of fabulous Finns, with their fine frames, built backsides, and devastating dicks

Last year I was overloaded with Gavins.  It appears that this year I'm having a run on Finns: Finn Carr, Finn Burke, Finn Hudson (Cory Monteith) from Glee, Finn the Human (Jeremy Shada) from Adventure Time.  So I thought it would be fun to gather up the actors named Finn who have shown their stuff, on-screen or off.

 

1. Probably the most famous Finns of this generation is Finn Wolfhard, who played Mike Wheeler, central character in Stranger Things (2016-22).  The 1980s Indiana boy investigates his buddy's disapperance into a demon-haunted dimension and falls in love with an ESP girl.  Finn has also appeared in Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire, It, King of the Hill, and the new Paranorman.  

Straight and femme in real life, he has no dick pics, but here's his basket.  I'm not an expert, but is that lady's underwear?

2. Second most famous is probably Finn Witrock, who played many characters in different seasons of the anthology American Horror Story (2014-21), including serial killer Dandy, vampire's boy toy Tristan , feral child Jether, and vampire bait Harry.  Some of them were gay-vague or gay-for-pay, but Finn is straight in real life.

3. Brandon Finn grew up in Hawaii, and has appeared in several series set or filmed in his home state, including Magnum PI, Fantasy Island, and Chief of War (where he played the gay Prince Kūpule). I can't tell from his Instagram if he's gay in real life.

4. Nonbinary genderqueer Fin  Argus has played gay characters in Queer as Folk, The Other Two, and The Commute.  They have given us a  lot of butt pics but no frontal; maybe they want to keep what they have in front private.

5. British actor Finn Cole is known for Animal Planet, Peaky Blinders, and Slaughterhouse Rulez.  I can't tell if his partner here is male, female, or nonbinary, but in real life he likes girls.

The Finn phalluses come after the break. Caution: Most are aroused. 

"The Chair Company": A chair conspiracy, a queer kid, a ginger chub, weirdness for its own sake, and men in suits with d*cks

I am attracted to men in suits, but not at all to the corporate world, the heterosexist trajectory of job, house, wife, kids that was pushed endlessly through my childhood.  I want a world of art and beauty.  

So at first I wasn't interested in The Chair Company on HBO MAX, starring Tim Robinson as Ron Trosper, a "job, house, wife, and kids" guy whose chair collapses during a Very Important Presentation, leading to more mishaps that threaten to destroy his Very Important Career.   

Trying to track down the Chair Company responsible for the defective chair, he ends up at an empty warehouse.  Later a guy assaults him, telling him to "Forget about the chair company."

He doesn't.  He tracks down his assailant, Mike (Joseph Tudisco), a security guard at a local cafe.  But Mike says "I was hired by a guy I'd never met.  He didn't show his face." 

Maybe they could work together to find him?

Wait -- why is Mike so interested in helping? There must be some gay-subtext buddy-bonding going on.  I'm reviewing the next episode, 1.3: @BrownDerbyHistoricVids Little Bit of Hollywood? Okayyy.

Try putting that in the Works Cited section of your research paper.

Scene 1: Family Man Ron is at Game Night with his daughter, her fiancee, and her fiancee's parents.  Hey, Daughter is gay.  What a surprise -- I figured this show would be entirely heteronormative.  Ulp, he gets a text: "No way out!", with a photo of him taken at that moment from the hall closet.

He pulls open the closet door, and a little person pushes him aside and runs out.  Family Man Ron gives chase, but Partner Mike rushes up and explains "He's my guy, LT (Joe Apelian). I had him watching to make sure you weren't setting me up."  

LT meant that there was "no way out" of his hiding place.  He sent the text to the wrong guy.

Scene 2: The enraged Ron wants to end the partnership, but Mike has intel: he tracked down the guy who paid him to scare Ron, but that guy was hired by someone else, and paid $50,000 for the job.  That's quite a lot -- usually scares go for $400. 

LT interrupts, yelling that Partner Mike isn't his friend, he's no good.  He begins kicking boxes.

Left: None of the three have beefcake photos online, so I'm posting 1990s heartthrob Lou Diamond Phillips, who plays the CEO of Family Man Ron's company.

Scene 3: That night, while asleep, Ron keeps imagining LT staring at him.  He checks all the closets. 

In the morning, he asks his wife if they can install a security system today.  A reasonable plan, but he makes it sound crazy by imagining someone with a gun bursting in and forcing them to kill each other.  

Scene 4: At work, Ron is discussing something about square footage with a client (Mike Britt).  A literal bug crawls into Ron's phone.  Now we're getting surreal. 

When he has a spare moment, he tries to find out who owns the empty warehouse -- ulp, you have to make your request in person.  But before he can duck out, he is dragged into the atrium to watch his tv interview about a shopping mall the company is building: "The way you think about Canton, Ohio is about to change: you're about to step into a bit of Hollywood."  Thus the title.

 The whispering is about a Mistakes Party -- where you admit your mistakes-- that Ron isn't invited to, because he's the boss. 

The guy being whispered to is Cal, played by Joshua Pangborn, who starred in  Skeleton Crew (2015-22).  It sounds like a drama:  In every season, a bear couple and their straight friends host a Halloween party that goes terribly wrong.  They have to deal with the tragedy and figure out how to go on with their lives.  Every friggin' year?  I'd stop hosting those parties.  But there also seems to be ghosts, mad scientists, and time travel.

And frontal nudity.  After the break.  Caution: Explicit

Fin Burke: A little shop of horrors, a certain school of magic, and a grave in the clouds. With his boyfriend, some artistic dick pics, and Cole Sprouse

 

I spend over an hour looking for beefcake photos of cast members of Welcome to Derry, and all I found was a potential Chad Root and two of Fin Burke, in his underwear and hugging his boyfriend. He's definitely getting a profile.

Fin, aka Finley, was born in Toronto around 2006.  His mum Dawn worked in the script and continuity department for 125 episodes of Murdoch Mysteries (2008-25), about a 19th century detective (Yannick Bisson).  She has also worked on Goosebumps, American Psycho, Wind at My Back, The Listener, and Children Ruin Everything.

Fin attended Greenwood College High School in Toronto, where he took classes in acting and musical theater and starred in a lot of plays:

Troy Bolton in High School Musical

Wayne Hopkins in Puffs: an orphan boy who is invited to attend a certain school of magic (not that one).

Seymor in Little Shop of Horrors. Who is he dancing with?

Tyler in Public Enemy, about a family dinner "with a surreal twist."  If I'm reading the French correctly, playwright Olivier Choinière is queer, so I imagine there is some gay content.  

He also starred (as a voice on the telephone) in the 2023 short Clara is Awake: A teenage girl gets texts from someone who claims to have met her last summer; "I really miss you.  I know you better than you think."  Ulp.

She texts back: "Leave me alone. I don't know you, and you're being weird."  He doesn't leave her alone.  

He graduated in 2024, and enrolled in the National Theatre School of Canada in Montreal as an acting major.

Two on-screen acting credits since:

The first episode of Welcome to Derry (2025): the snarly, critical older brother of "bury your gays" Teddy.

The short Grave in the Clouds (2025): a Jewish man (Steven Hobé) discovers that his teenage son (Fin) has written an essay denying the Holocaust, and introduces him to a survivor. 

Here Fin and his buddy meet former Disney Channel teen Cole Sprouse.  I cropped out the girls; most of Fin's Instagram photos have him hugging a girl.

More after the break. Caution: Explicit.

"Thundermans Undercover": Gay-vague superhero Jack Griffo flexes, tries to pick up men. With a lot of beefcake and Griffo junk

 

Nickelodeon's Thundermans (2013-18) featured a nuclear family with superpowers trying to live incognito in the normal-powered world. Teenage Phoebe has chosen superhero as her career goal, while her twin brother Max  (Jack Griffo) wants to become a supervillain.  He trains under Doctor Colossus, a supervillain transformed into a rabbit, and later the sensei of evil, Dark Mayhem.  Eventually Max decides that being a supervillain would be too destructive for his family, so he switches career paths and teams up with Phoebe.  They become the Thunder Twins.

Max was heavily gay-coded, with minimal interest in girls.  When he does ask a girl out, it is often because he wants to use her to acquire something of value, or to continue to hide his secret identity.  Or he'll date a girl once and find an excuse to drop her.  I did that quite often in high school, too.  Anything to get out of that darn good-night kiss.

The spin-off Thundemans Undercover (2025) has the grown-up and bulked-up Thunder Twins going undercoer in Secret Shores, Florida, to investigate a new supervillain threat.  Superheroes work pro bono, so to pay the rent, Phoebe gets a job as an art teacher at Secret Shores High School, and Max becomes the assistant principal.  Don't you need years of teaching experience to qualify to be principal? They are also living together and parenting their little sister Chloe, who happens to be a student. 

The familial relationship between Max and Phoebe, and the fact that the Chloe is the real focus character, eliminates the need for hetero-romance. Phoebe dates once in the first season, but Max continues to be gay-vague.  

I'm reviewing Episode 1.9, "No Friend in Sight."

Scene 1: After a long day of school and superhero training, teenage Chloe is trying to have "Me-Time with No Max."  She settles down with a giant bowl of popcorn (essential for watching tv on tv, but never in real life) and turns on Glove Island.  Whoops, Max appears, and wants to hang out.  

Nope, Chloe zaps herself into the kitchen to watch alone.  Now Phoebe appears and wants to hang out!

She tries zapping into the superhero lair, but both Max and Chloe follow.

Frustrated, she announces "I'm going to Splats."  But they grab her hands as she zaps -- she's stuck with them. 

Scene 2: Splats, the standard teencom hangout.  Chloe criticized her guardians for wanting to spend every moment with her. They should make some friends of their own.  

It can't be hard to make friends, right?  Phoebe rushes up to a girl and exclaims "My future maid-of-honor!  We both wear pants!", scaring her away.

Scene 3: Apprised of how not to come on too strong, Max heads to the gym. Personal trainer Jim asks if he wants to sign up for a chance to win tickets to a party hosted by A-List Elixers, where they will introduce their $100 milkshake.  Max pushes: "My new best friend!"  Turned off, he walks away.

Jim is played by gay actor/model Austin Trapp, who you have seen in Yellowjackets, Tracker, and So Help Me Todd.

Max tries to attract the next guy by flexing. It's a gym, babe -- everybody is  muscular.  Try winning him over with your wit and charm...oh, right.  Better flex.

Buffed Dude agrees to spot him, but when Max requests "a lifetime of friendship," he gets spooked and rushes away.

More after the break.

Finn Carr: The "Alexa & Katie" kid grows up, swims, flexes, does drag, and plays a gay-subtext soap opera teen.

Alexa & Katie (2018-20) was a Netflix sitcom (actually a drama with jokes) about two high school buddies: Alexa, who tries to hide having cancer so no one will treat her differently, and Katie, who is wearing a wig in solidarity.  Plots involve joining the basketball team, competing over boys, befriending other kids with cancer, and so on.  

Ricky Garcia and Liam Attridge, members of the band Forever in Your Mind, play gay-subtext buddies Cameron and Steve.  

This is a profile of the kid in the middle, Finn Carr.

Left: A random nude dude to tide you over.

Finn started his career in modeling -- you can see him here in an "Own the School Year Like a Hero" campaign for Wal-Mart. There's also a giant banner over his head.

He  played Wilbur, son of single dad Owen (Michael McMillan) and grandson of single mom Joy (Jane Leeves of Frasier) on Hot in Cleveland (2014)

The young version of special agent and genius Spencer Reid (Matthew Gray Gubler) on Criminal Minds (2016).

Lewis Gladstone, son of Joey Gladstone (David Coulier) and member of a sibling singing group called Gladstone Four on Fuller House (2016-17).

Katie's little brother on Alexa & Katie: a video game addict, aware of Alexa's secret and fine with kids who have cancer.  Here he's trying out drag with his tv sister's wig.  He goes into full drag later.

After Alexa, he played Derek Fox-Lubiner, two episode boyfriend of Millicent, dealing with the disapproval of her stepfather Freddie (Nathan Kress)  on ICarly (2022).

Brian,, the debate team opponent, crush, and boyfriend of demonic guardian Scary (a girl) on Pretty Freekin Scary (2023).  

 

And then he suddenly grew up.

Well, almost.  As of this writing, Finn is a week from his 17th birthday.  

And rather built, as you can see from the interplay of muscles in this rock-climbing photo.

More after the break

OMG, some jaw-dropping queer codes on "Chad Powers." Russ and Danny are in love! With Zahn butt, Clayne cock, and random Tennessee dudes

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"Welcome to Derry": "It" prequel with interesting monsters, Cold War paranoia, 1960s racism, and "bury your gays."

 

I've seen the 1990 miniseries and the 2017/2019 movie adaptions of Stephen King's It, with Tim Curry and Bill Skarsgard (left), respectively, playing the transdimensional "destroyer of worlds" who animates every 27 years to kill kids.  The original novel has a gay character (buried right away), and the 2017/2019 adaption has a gay-subtext guy, played by Jack Dylan Grazer and James Ransone, who sort of comes out in a blink-and-you-miss-it gesture. 

So I don't have high hopes for the tv series Welcome to Derry (2025).  The usual Stephen King heavily closeted and buried-right-away traditions will be compounded by the setting: 1962 (every 27 years, remember?).  But we'll give it a look.

Scene 1: The Music Man (1962) is playing on the big screen.  Young teenager Matty (Miles Eckhardt), sucking on a pacifier, watches.  Manager Cal yells at him for sneaking in without paying, and chases him into the lobby.  A girl covers for him (always kind, nurturing girls and blustering, bullying boys, innit?).  

Notice that it's Christmastime (actually January 4, 1962), and Matty has a black eye, signifying that he's a victim of abuse (obviously --what Stephen King kid hasn't been abused?)

Matty runs out into the snow, past a billboard reading "Welcome to Derry, Birthplace of Paul Bunyan.

Several towns claim to be the birthplace of the folk hero, including Ankely, Minnesota (where they hold Paul Bunyan days every summer), and Bangor, Maine.

Left: Camper at the Bunyan festival.

Matty hitchhikes, and is picked up by a male-female couple, a Wednesday Addams-looking girl, and a young boy who spells out everythiing; "L-I-E-S,"  Not R-E-D-R-U-M? Asked where he's going, Matt says "Anywhere but Derry."

Weird family, bragging that the daughter is "our little harlot," and having the boy spell scary words like "necrosis," "kidnapping," "strangulation," and "cadaver."  "I want out!" Matty screams, and they repeat "Out! Out! Out!"  

Mom gives birth to a bloody bat-winged thing that flies around and attacks everyone before deciding to kill Matty.  

A very impressive scene. But what's with introducing a major character, then killing him off?

Scene 2: Four months later, April 1962.  A Femme Boy  is making a list of the fighter planes that fly by.  

The plane lands, and two soldiers get out: Russo and Hanlon (Jovan Adepo, seen here with his boyfriend in Watchmen). Russo complains about being stationed in small-town Derry, where nothing exciting ever happens, har har.  But the Big Boss notes that as the northernmost air force base in the U.S., it's essential to monitor Soviet air space and prep for Cold War era-nuclear war.  Wasn't Alaska a state in 1962?  

Hanlon has rented a house in town; he and the Missus are longing for "normal."

"Well, if normal is what you're looking for, you're going to love Derry."  Har-har.

Scene 3: Cut to the "idyllic" small town.  A year after Bay of Pigs led the world to the brink of nuclear war, everyone is on edge. At the high school, they practice "duck and cover."

A teen girl walks through the halls, getting stared at and pranked by jars of pickles.  Her friend consoles her.

Meanwhile, Femme Boy tells his boyfriend Teddy (Mikkal Karim Fidler), "We're not alone in the universe."  He doesn't mean gay people, seven years before Stonewall -- he means aliens.  Maybe they have one hidden in the Derry Air Base.  Boyfriend thinks he's crazy.  

"Teddy sucks balls" on his locker. Homophobic or all-purpose slur?

"Did you study for the test?"

"What's the point, when World War III is imminent?"

Femme Boy is played by Jack Molloy Legault, who fills his instagram with photos of his girlfriend (except for this one with the director).  But I assume that Mikkel Karim Fidler is gay in real life because, when his talent agency got him tickets to the advance screening of Karate Kid: Legends, his date was a boy. 

More after the break.  Caution: Explicit.

Noah Matthews Matofsky: Head Lost Boy, model, disability advocate, Oscar Wilde fan, boyfriend. With bonus n*de Matthews and Captain Hook's hook

  

Peter Pan & Wendy (2023) omits the most egregious heterosexualization of recent Peter Pan movies by skipping the usual Peter-Wendy romance, and by  making Captain Hook (Jude Law, below) gay.  Well, he's usually gay-coded, but his time around he mentions a childhood  boyfriend  -- Peter himself (Alexander Molony), who refused to leave Never-Never Land and grow up, while Hook choose an adult career as a pirate.

I got the same rhetoric when I was a kid: "When you grow up, you will drop your same-sex loves  to devote your life to what really matters, finding and winning the Girl of Your Dreams."  I turned 14, 15, 16, 17 and the joy I felt in masculine smiles never vanished, but my boyfriends began to treat me as a mere chum, someone to discuss girls with. They were Captain Hook leaving Neverland, but I remained, refusing to "grow up."    

Some of the other male actors were of interest, including Joshua Pickering (Wendy's brother John Darling), a cute member of the Short Guys Brigade.  And Noah Matthews,  who plays the gay-coded Slightly: the leader of the Lost Boys, the only one who remembers anything of his life before Neverland, and the most musical.

"But your son said the sleepover was 'clothing optional.'" 

 Sorry, that's another Noah.  Slightly was played by Noah Matthews Matofsky, the first actor with a visible disability to star in a Disney movie, a leap forward in disability representation.  Especially since the character Slightly is not disabled. Noah was cast because the casting director, and then director David Lowery, loved his audition (they also bonded over a comparison of the Lost Boys and Lord of the Flies).

This was the 16-year old's first on-screen acting job, and rather daunting -- he had to spend six months in Canada during the COVID pandemic, spend hours filming in the hot sun, and still do his schoolwork.  But he loved the challenge, and there were perks -- the Lost Boys shared an apartment with a pool on the roof, so after the shooting and schoolwork, they had pool parties.  Tell me more.  

And Michael Darling (the one with the teddy bear) was played by Jacobi Jupe, brother of Noah's crush Noah Jupe (left). It's not everyday that you get to hear all of the gossip about your crush from your roommate.

More after the break.  Caution: Explicit.

New Birthday Pictures of Kelton Dumont, plus Pontius Gemstone's cock t-shirt, Wilson's wang, and two co-stars doing stuff. Can you blame them?

 

Previous: Kelton's nude photos, with new cock shots, Jak, Gavin, and a bonus fratboy

In honor of Kelton DuMont's 22nd birthday on October 24, 2025, his dad James posted some new, never-before-seen photos.  I can never get enough photos of Kelton Dumont, who played surly delinquent Pontius Gemstone on The Righteous Gemstones -- and, in Season 4, displayed a huge number of queer codes, like this cock-and-balls t-shirt.  They inspired me to write my two of my most homoerotic fan fictions about Pontius.

But there are some problems: I've already posted all of the nude photos of Kelton, including his on-screen butt and cock shots, some gay hookup photos, and one in bondage that I'm about 50% sure is him.  

Usually when the nude photos of the star run out, I find some of his co-stars, but Kelton doesn't have any post-Gemstone projects listed on the IMDB.  

He's currently in his senior year at Bennington College, majoring in drama, but the only plays I've found for him are Cymbeline,True West, and A Midsummer Night's Dream (he played Bottom, the guy with the ass's head).

Maybe I can go with the co-stars of Dad James (who played Chad on the Gemstones, and showed us his d*ck in the first episode).  He will be appearing  in two post-Gemstone projects.

Hunting Season: A reclusive survivalist and his daughter rescue a mysterious woman...ugh, starring Mel Gibson.

The Cellar Door 2: Preymates: Killer Herman (James) has been locked up, but a copycat killer is stalking the Last Girl. No other men in the cast.  Next!

How about Kelton's pre-Gemstones work?  His first major acting role came in Zipper (2015), as the son of a "successful family man" who becomes "addicted" to an escort service. Played by Patrick Wilson, who showed us his butt and back-cock.

Three episodes of The Astronauts' Wives Club (2015) as Mark Grisson, son of astronaut Gus Grisson (Joel Johnstone).

More after the break