Kelvin Gemstone: The Top Christ Following Man
On Saturday morning, Jimmy came downstairs to the staff bustling about, cleaning bedrooms, mopping, vacuuming. Most of the family had already finished breakfast and scattered to the boat or the swimming pools, but Kelvin and Keefe were still in the breakfast nook. The youngest of the Gemstones was short, sturdy, muscular, and femme, a Tom of Finland drag queen, married to a long-haired muscleman with a fading “Hail Satan” tattoo visible on his forearm.
“Good morning!” Kelvin called, flashing the usual Look. “I hope you got a lot of rest, ‘cause we have a full day planned.”
Jimmy sat next to him. A waiter jumped forward to fill his coffee cup and hand him the breakfast menu. He ordered the Denver omelet and sourdough toast.
“To be honest, after the noise and honking horns of Metropolis, it was hard to sleep in the quiet.” Especially with his superpower revealing who was going at it at 3 and 4 am.
“Back when I was in Satan’s Baby, we toured in Metropolis a lot,” Keefe said. “I used to be a regular in the gay club scene up there. Have you been to The Metropolis Eagle?”
Why did Keefe think that Jimmy would be hanging out in gay clubs? “Your heavy metal past is a story waiting to be told. Maybe I can interview you later?”
He looked down at his mostly-eaten frittata. “Thanks, but I like to stay out of the spotlight. I’m the roots of the tree, and Kelvin is the branches.”
Ok, so he wouldn’t be getting much information from Keefe. Time to interrogate Kelvin. “So you came out publicly last year, but I’m sure the family knew long before that. How did you come out to them?”
“Well, I didn’t really need to come out to them – they knew long before I did, back when I was a kid and sneaked peeks at my sister’s teen magazines. It took me forever to figure it out for myself. I was in denial for years, until…” He hesitated. “I guess the kidnapping.”
But that was in 2023. He had the God Squad, a cadre of bodybuilders living in yurts on his front lawn, in 2022. How could he not know?
Keefe objected, too: “But we were doing stuff back when we first met, when Gideon and Scotty….” Kelvin shot him a harsh look, and he trailed off.
Obviously Kelvin was trying to control the narrative, present himself as unaware until 2023, so he could claim not to know about Gideon and Scotty….who the heck was Scotty, and what did it have to do with Kelvin?
“Keefe, are you sure you won’t reconsider that interview? Maybe we can do it while swimming later. I heard that the Lake House was clothing optional?”'
Keefe flashed the Look and glanced at Kelvin, who nodded his consent.
Kelvin Gemstone is short in stature, but he knows how to Do It Big: with puffy muscles, flamboyant outfits, and a series of revolutionary ministry innovations. His most recent, a daily reflection for queer youth, averages 200 people in the on-site meeting and over a million views on the Gemstone streaming service, and won him the Top Christ Following Man of the Year Award. Yet at home he is the quintessential nerd, a quiet, shy guy who collects comic books, plays arcade games with his husband, and can name all of the planets in the “Star Wars” universe.
Keefe Chambers: the Heavy Metal Rocker
City boy Jimmy learned to swim in a public pool, had been rescued from a sinking ship by Beast Boy, and was trembling with fear on the floating dock as Keefe dove into the 200-foot deep water of Lake Murray (Kelvin stayed behind to do some work with Prism.) He pulled himself up, rocking the dock – the guy weighed 200 pounds – and climbed up to the slide.
He paused. “Aren’t you coming in, Jimmy?”
“No, thanks -- I’ll just work on my tan. But I’m enjoying watching you.” Jimmy hesitated, realizing that it sounded like he was interested – and maybe he was. The guy was massive everywhere. Of course, he had a semi due to their proximity, but Keefe was bigger with a semi than most guys fully aroused. He'd definitely need an extra-extra big condom. If Jimmy was going to accept one of the three-way hints this weekend, it would be with the heavy metal rocker and his husband.
Keefe tumbled down the slide, dove in again, and then lay on the beach towel next to Jimmy – so close that they were touching, of course. .
“Tell me about how you and Kelvin met,” Jimmy suggested.
He grinned at the memory. “It was at Charleston Pride 2019. I was passing out fliers for Baby Queef – my solo act after I quit Satan’s Baby. Kelvin came to one of my performances, and that was it. For me, anyway. It took like three years to convince him that we should be more than sex buddies, and five years to talk him into marrying me.”
Keefe Chambers was on his way to an impressive career – lead singer in a heavy metal band, a solo act as a Satanic comedian, friends with musical giants Ozzie Osborne and Trent Reznor, covers of “It’s Raining Men” and “I’m Coming Out” that charted in France. But he gave it all up to stand in the wings, quietly supporting Kelvin Gemstone, his best friend, boyfriend, and eventually his husband.
“So Charleston Pride, June 2019, right?” Jimmy fished. "Was that before or after Gideon and Scotty?”
“Gideon came home from California later, after I moved into Kelvin's house. Maybe in January or February? Scotty came up a week or so later, and stayed through...well, stayed awhile.”
“A boyfriend?”
“Probably. I mean, we had them over for dinner, like they were a couple.”
“So Gideon is gay?”
Keefe patted his shoulder. “You'd better ask him yourself. He likes irises and Greek food.” He dove into the water again.
If Rev. Gemstone allowed Gideon and his boyfriend to live openly in his house in the spring of 2020, the thing that happened couldn’t be about being gay. Unless he started homophobic, kicked Gideon out of the house, and somehow the relationship was restored.
More after the break
