Jack Barlow: "Real Housewives" teen, Mormon missionary, hair-care guru, gay tease. With nude and bondage photos
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"Star Trek: Strange New Worlds": Is Scotty in love with Captain Kirk? Is Spock in love with everyone? With a Vulcan named Doug and Chace and Atticus dicks.
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Max Casella after dating Doogie: Christian Bale's buddy, Tony Soprano's driver, Timon, Bottom, bi. With a small d*ck bonus.
In the early 1990s, if your parents belong to a certain socioeconomic class, you were required to watch ABC's ultra-conservative programming block on Wednesday nights:
The Wonder Years, with Fred Savage as a boy winning the Girl of His Dreams in the 1960s.
Home Improvement, with Tim Allen grunting with tools.
Coach, with Craig T. Nelson as a...football coach.
And Doogie Howser, MD, with Neil Patrick Harris as a 16-year old who somehow managed to finish medical school, become a doctor, and get girls.
I wasn't of a certain age, I was not living with parents of a certain socioeconomic class, so on Wednesday nights I was watching Seinfeld. Not Doogie Howser, because of its ridiculous premise and "Girls are the meaning of life!" ideology.
But I did notice Max Casella, who played Doogie's buddy: 22-26 years, "cute as a bug's ear," as the oldsters would say, and a member of the Short Guy Brigade at 5'7".
As everyone knows, Neil Patrick Harris came out a few years after Doogie, and for some inscrutable reason agreed to play "himself' in the homophobic Harold & Kumar movies and heterosexual horndog Barney on How I Met Your Mother (2005-14). More recently, in Uncoupled (2022), he played a gay man dealing with the death of his partner and suddenly becoming single at midlife.
But what has Max Casella been doing?
I'm researching the three standard questions:
1. Any gay roles?
2. Gay in real life?
3. Any n*ude photos? 
1. Any gay roles?
1. Any gay roles?
In Newsies (1992), a Disney movie about the newsboys' strike of 1899, Max plays Racetrack Higgins, who may be gay or bisexual. When focus character Jack (Christian Bale) says that they can't beat up the newsboys who refuse to join the strike, he "jokingly" suggests kissing them.
In Ed Wood (1994), the biopic of the director known for crossdressing, Glen or Glenda? and Plan 9 from Outer Space, Max plays Paul Marco, the gay actor who often starred in Wood's films. His sexual identity is not mentioned here.
Tulsa King (2024-): Sylvester Stallone plays a mob boss who tries to start a new cosa nostra among the Oklahoma cowboys. Max plays Manny Truisi, formerly a soldier in the Invernizzi Family, who tried to assassinate Stallone's Dwight, then fled. and started a new life working on a horse ranch. He's got a wife and kid.
In Ed Wood (1994), the biopic of the director known for crossdressing, Glen or Glenda? and Plan 9 from Outer Space, Max plays Paul Marco, the gay actor who often starred in Wood's films. His sexual identity is not mentioned here.
Later Max moved into animation, voicing characters on Pepper Anne, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Kim Possible; and video games such as Jak and Daxter (a humanoid elf and his previously-human otter-weasel buddy) and Grand Theft Auto: The Ballad of Gay Tony (he doesn't voice Gay Tony).
He appeared in 28 episodes of The Sopranos (2001-07) as Benny Fazio, who is partnered with Chris Moltisanti and sometimes works as Capo Tony's driver. He's married with children.
Inside Llewelyn Davis (2013) depicts a day in the life of the folk singer (Oscar Davis) in the early 1960s Greenwich Village scene. Max plays Club Manager Pappi Corsicato, who has sex with Llewelyn's girl.
Tulsa King (2024-): Sylvester Stallone plays a mob boss who tries to start a new cosa nostra among the Oklahoma cowboys. Max plays Manny Truisi, formerly a soldier in the Invernizzi Family, who tried to assassinate Stallone's Dwight, then fled. and started a new life working on a horse ranch. He's got a wife and kid.
More after the break.
Gideon Gemstone's Secret Life, Part 1: Jimmy Olsen finds out that the Gemstones do it big
Rev. Jesse Gemstone: The Big Man
Jesse Gemstone himself met him at the door, casually dressed in a checkered shirt and white pants. He shook Jimmy's hand and said “Praise be to He,” as if it was a standard greeting. Jimmy had interviewed presidents and superheroes, but he was still in awe. Rev. Gemstone was not only one of the three heads of the most successful Evangelical organization in the world, he was constantly in the news for everything from a mismanaged Prayer Pod debacle to numerous attempts on his life.
Since he was about 15 years old, everybody who saw Jimmy Olsen, except for kids and the very old, fell in love with him. Man, woman, gay, straight, single, married – it made no difference. Usually they weren’t really aware of what was happening, they just got a little aroused and wanted to touch his arm or shoulder, and do things for him – he got a free dessert almost every time he ate in a restaurant, he was bumped to first class almost every time he flew, and he had never been turned down for a date or a hookup, except by Clark Kent – but sometimes they knew exactly what they wanted, and got a little aggressive. God, he hoped that Jesse Gemstone wouldn’t get aggressive.
“Believe me, that’s not a problem here.” Next they moved into parlor where they held talent contests, and Corey Milsap did a Michael Jackson routine – before trying to murder his friends. “Is there going to be a talent show this weekend?”
Abraham: The Loud Son
Jimmy was prepared for a mansion rivaling Bruce Wayne’s – after all, the Gemstone motto was “Do It Big!” But he still wasn’t prepared for the Gemstone Lake House, on Lake Murray, South Carolina’s biggest reservoir. Tudor-style, with three round towers, four decks, eight bedrooms, two swimming pools, two boat launches, and a gazebo decorated with statues of the Greek gods Aphrodite and Apollo.
Jesse Gemstone himself met him at the door, casually dressed in a checkered shirt and white pants. He shook Jimmy's hand and said “Praise be to He,” as if it was a standard greeting. Jimmy had interviewed presidents and superheroes, but he was still in awe. Rev. Gemstone was not only one of the three heads of the most successful Evangelical organization in the world, he was constantly in the news for everything from a mismanaged Prayer Pod debacle to numerous attempts on his life.
“Thank you for agreeing to the interviews,” Jimmy said.
“It’s a visit,” he corrected. “You’re our guest for the weekend. Think of yourself as family – a long lost cousin. You want anything, just ask.” Then he flashed The Look – everybody did, Jimmy should have expected it, but he was still taken aback. This was Jesse Gemstone!
Since he was about 15 years old, everybody who saw Jimmy Olsen, except for kids and the very old, fell in love with him. Man, woman, gay, straight, single, married – it made no difference. Usually they weren’t really aware of what was happening, they just got a little aroused and wanted to touch his arm or shoulder, and do things for him – he got a free dessert almost every time he ate in a restaurant, he was bumped to first class almost every time he flew, and he had never been turned down for a date or a hookup, except by Clark Kent – but sometimes they knew exactly what they wanted, and got a little aggressive. God, he hoped that Jesse Gemstone wouldn’t get aggressive.
But all Rev. Gemstone did was get semi-aroused, caress Jimmy's arm a bit, and lead him into the foyer and…the library, where the Gemstone siblings crawled after they were shot by Corey Milsap, and prayed for him as he died -- they prayed for their murderer!
“I’m surprised that you want to spend time at this place, when you and your brother and sister were shot and almost died here.”
He chuckled. “So, if I stayed away from every place where someone tried to kill me, I’d never go anywhere.” Then he hesitated. “This isn’t going to be one of those smear pieces, is it? Frankly, I agreed to the visit because I like some of your articles in the Daily Planet. You’ve got heart -- not like that Lois Lane and her muckraking interviews with Superman”
“It's going to be about the Gemstone Miracle, how you survive and thrive after adversity. I get you – I grew up in the South. In an Evangelical family.”
“But you’re not Evangelical anymore?” Uh-oh, Jimmy felt soul-winning coming on.
“I’m a gay ally – my sister is trans. And I just couldn't stand the homophobia in my home church."
“Believe me, that’s not a problem here.” Next they moved into parlor where they held talent contests, and Corey Milsap did a Michael Jackson routine – before trying to murder his friends. “Is there going to be a talent show this weekend?”
“Why, do you have a piece in mind?”
As Rev. Gemstone showed him the dining room, kitchen, sun room, and game room, Jimmy wrote his introduction in his head:
A cross between Elvis Presley and Conway Twitty, with the Van Buren sideburns and rings on every finger, Jesse Gemstone lives the Gemstone motto of “Do it big!” He has been kidnapped by his uncle, assaulted by a close friend, and shot by another close friend, yet he doesn’t hesitate to open his home and his heart to a complete stranger.
“My brother and sister and their spouses will be coming up for dinner, and my oldest, Gideon, will be arriving tomorrow. Right now it’s just my wife and I, our other two kids, and their boyfriends.”
Wait – boyfriends? Didn’t Jesse and Amber Gemstone have three sons? Jimmy would have to check his notes.
Mrs. Amber Gemstone: The Preacher’s Wife
Mrs. Gemstone was in the kitchen, elegantly dressed, all in white as she brought a pastry – peach cobbler? – from the oven. She wiped her hands on a towel to shake Jimmy’s hand.
“You must think I’m an old fashioned Evangelical housewife, subservient to her husband,” she said, pausing as she gave him The Look.
“No, I don’t think that at….”
She caressed his arm. “But we don’t have full time staff at the lake house. The service goes home after making lunch, so we have to either eat out or cook dinner ourselves. But coming all the way from Metropolis, I thought you’d appreciate some real Southern cooking rather than the Root Cellar or Thai Thai.”
Jimmy pulled away. “I’d appreciate that, Ma’am.”
“Open!” She popped a spoonful of cobbler into his mouth – a big spoonful, and still steaming hot! He cried out in pain.
“Oh, I’m so sorry! Jesse, get a glass of milk for our guest!”
Amber Gemstone, resplendent in white, the picture of the elegant Southern woman, is expertly hiding some insecurity. She longs to be a traditional Evangelical housewife, following St. Paul’s admonition to “be submissive to your husband,” but the three-time sharpshooting champion of Charleston doesn’t take kindly to being submissive.
Abraham: The Loud Son
“Pontius and Stacy are out on a pontoon boat,” Jesse told him. “You can meet them later. Next up is my youngest, Abraham. He just turned eighteen.”
Stacy? Ok, Jimmy must have misheard. Jesse’s middle son had a girlfriend, not a boyfriend.
He led Jimmy out to the bigger of the pools – the one behind the lake house – where two teenage boys were playing a noisy sword fight game with pool tubes. They were high school aged, athletic. When they saw Jesse and Jimmy, they jumped out of the pool and ran forward.
“Boys, this is Jimmy Olsen, the reporter who will be staying with us this weekend. My son Abraham –” he gestured at the shorter boy, who had a muscular physique and a shock of unruly brown hair. “And this is his friend Ash” – tall and thin, with brown skin and curly black hair.
“Don’t be so retro, Dad,” Abraham said, flashing the Look as he took Jimmy’s hand. “Ash is my boyfriend. I’m gay.”
“Yeah, with a boyfriend, I figured.” He dislodged himself from Abraham and shook hands with Ash, who of course flashed the Look. His semi-arousal was obvious.
"I'll leave you alone to get acquainted." Rev. Gemstone vanished into the house.
“Go ahead and publish it in The Daily Planet,” Abraham continued.
“If there’s room in my article.”
“I figured it out when I was like six, but I was afraid to come out to Dad after what happened to my brother Gideon…”
What happened to Gideon? Jimmy smelled a Gemstone story that he hadn’t read in a bio or seen on CNN.
More after the break. Caution: Explicit
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