Max Casella after dating Doogie: Christian Bale's buddy, Tony Soprano's driver, Timon, Bottom, bi. With a small d*ck bonus.

 

In the early 1990s, if your parents belong to a certain socioeconomic class, you were required to watch ABC's ultra-conservative programming block on Wednesday nights: 

The Wonder Years, with Fred Savage as a boy winning the Girl of His Dreams in the 1960s.

Home Improvement, with Tim Allen grunting with tools.

Coach, with Craig T. Nelson as a...football coach.

And Doogie Howser, MD, with Neil Patrick Harris as a 16-year old who somehow managed to finish medical school, become a doctor, and get girls.

I wasn't of a certain age, I was not living with parents of a certain socioeconomic class, so on Wednesday nights I was watching Seinfeld.   Not Doogie Howser, because of its ridiculous premise and "Girls are the meaning of life!" ideology.  

 But I did notice Max Casella, who played Doogie's buddy: 22-26 years, "cute as a bug's ear," as the oldsters would say, and a member of the Short Guy Brigade at 5'7".

As everyone knows, Neil Patrick Harris came out a few years after Doogie, and for some inscrutable reason agreed to play "himself' in the homophobic Harold & Kumar movies and heterosexual horndog Barney on How I Met Your Mother (2005-14).  More recently, in Uncoupled (2022), he played a gay man dealing with the death of his partner and suddenly becoming single at midlife. 

But what has Max Casella been doing?

I'm researching the three standard questions: 

1. Any gay roles?

2. Gay in real life?

3. Any n*ude photos?  

1. Any gay roles?

In Newsies (1992), a Disney movie about the newsboys' strike of 1899, Max plays Racetrack Higgins, who may be gay or bisexual.  When focus character Jack (Christian Bale) says that they can't beat up the newsboys who refuse to join the strike, he "jokingly" suggests kissing them.

In Ed Wood (1994), the biopic of the director known for crossdressing, Glen or Glenda? and Plan 9 from Outer Space, Max plays Paul Marco, the gay actor who often starred in Wood's films.  His sexual identity is not mentioned here.

Later Max moved into animation, voicing characters on Pepper Anne, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Kim Possible; and video games such as Jak and Daxter (a humanoid elf and his previously-human otter-weasel buddy) and Grand Theft Auto: The Ballad of Gay Tony (he doesn't voice Gay Tony).

He appeared in 28 episodes of The Sopranos (2001-07) as Benny Fazio, who is partnered with Chris Moltisanti and sometimes works as Capo Tony's driver.  He's married with children.

Inside Llewelyn Davis (2013) depicts a day in the life of the folk singer (Oscar Davis) in the early 1960s Greenwich Village scene.  Max plays Club Manager Pappi Corsicato, who has sex with Llewelyn's girl.

Tulsa King (2024-): Sylvester Stallone plays a mob boss who tries to start a new cosa nostra among the Oklahoma cowboys.  Max plays Manny Truisi, formerly a soldier in the Invernizzi Family, who tried to assassinate Stallone's Dwight, then fled. and started a new life working on a horse ranch.  He's got a wife and kid.

More after the break.  

Max's theatrical work is impressive, but mostly heterosexual.  He originated the gay-subtext role of Timon in the Broadway production of The Lion King.

Then the hetero-horny Antonio and Falegnane in Fiabi Italiani (2010), based on the Italian Folktales of Italo Calvino

The sinister philosopher Apemantus in Timon of Athens at the Public Shakespeare Lab (2011)

Bottom in A Midsummer Night's Dream (2014)

And  foul-mouthed janitor Thursites in Troilus and Cressida at the Public Theater (2016).

2. Is Max Gay in Real Life?

He married a woman in 2002, and had two kids. Now they're divorced.  He's on an IMDB list of "Favorite Gay/Bi Celebrities," so most likely he's bisexual, but no partners are immediately available.  Maybe he dated Doogie?

3. Any nude photos?

The only time he comes close is in the horror Applesauce (2015), and he's having sex with a woman at the time.

There appear to be no selfies online  Max has GHD (Growth Hormone Deficiency), a pituitary problem that usually results in a small height and body mass, a micropenis, and delayed or stalled pubescence.  He didn't enter puberty until age 27, after beginning testosterone replacement therapy.  Then suddenly he grew up, gained weight, and was dropped by his agents.  He had to re-invent himself as an actor.

In case you are wondering, the average penis is 3.8" long flaccid and 5.2" aroused.  A micropenis is less than 1.6"  flaccid and 3.7" aroused.  

This is a photo from a "Small Dick Appreciation" website, but the guy is average. 

A muscleman with an actual micropenis.  Looks fine to me. I'd date him.

See also: Does Kit Harrington really have a tiny pecker?  And what's wrong with that.

The Naked Thugs: Danny McBride thinks we won't like these dicks.  Is that even possible?

Kevin Quinn: "Bunk'd" hunk, mental health advocate, gay Christian.  Or not.  With the hunk's junk