The premise: If you see a breach of etiquette, you can call for The Monster (Robert), who grabs, throws, pummels, and yells at the offender. (The examples are all g-rated; I added the nudes, and a few of my own rules).
1. Keep the noise down! Don't you hate those loud grunts?
2. Re-rack your weights! It's really annoying to have to rack somebody else's before you can put yours on.
3. No food in the gym! Who wants to lift while sitting in someone's Dorito crumbs?
4. No curling in the squat bars! What if somebody is waiting to use the equipment properly?
6. No groups taking turns on a machine! A workout partner is fine, but who wants to wait 20 minutes while four guys go through their sets?
More after the break
7. No criticizing beginners! The gym is for everyone, not just bodybuilders. Guys who are out of shape should feel welcome.
8, Wipe off your sweat! And other fluids, including that disgusting, slimy sanitizer stuff. No one wants to sit in that!
9. Wear a towel in the locker room! Some people might not want to see your junk.
10. Lock your locker! It's not just a matter of protecting your stuff. Imagine the embarrassment of a guy who thinks that a locker is vacant, opens it, and finds all your stuff there. It's humiliating!
11. No hogging the machines! Don't rest more than a minute between reps, and get up between sets so other people can have a turn.
12. And absolutely no bullying!
The Monster tells us that he doesn't enjoy hurting people; he prefers kissing to punching. But when duty calls...
See also: Robert's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 2: Beefy boyfriends, helicopter penis, and strongman sex
Robert Oberst and the World's Strongest Men
Joe Gaydar breaks unwritten gym rules, some involving penises
I agree but would add leave your phone in the locker.
ReplyDeleteIt is very annoying to wait for a machine while a guy scrolls through his social media, without even thinking of doing another set.
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